May 19, 2005

The life of a traveling salesman

It was late, well after midnight. There I was in a dirty taxi, traveling down Interstate 70 toward Indianapolis from Dayton Ohio. The driver was named Rupert and he was from the Bahamas. He weighed at least 300 pounds. "Hey Mon", he asked "you care if we getta bit to eat somewhere?"


My day had started around 8:00 in Greenville, NC. I approached the ticket counter and presented my ticket for my flight to Indy, via Charlotte. The nice lady noticed I was a VERY frequent flier (chairman, platinum, etc.) and said she would upgrade to 1st Class from Charlotte. I thanked her and then she noticed my uncommon last name. "Oh my" she said. "That was my husband's last name."

"No kidding", I replied. I commented how there were not many of us around (my German ancestor made up the name when he came to the New World). She told me that her husband was not around anymore, he died two weeks ago and began to cry. Open mouth HB - insert foot. This was getting the day off right.

9:00 rolled around with no plane, ditto 10:00. It was announced they would place us in a bus to Raleigh. A blue church bus arrived at about 10:45. About 15 of us mounted the bus. It made it almost to the end of the drive and quit running. It would not start again.

At about 11:30 a taxi arrived to take 5 of us to Raleigh. The driver was about 80 years old. He stopped at EVERY intersection regardless of the traffic controls. Green light -- he stopped. No stop sign or light -- he stopped. He did not take the Interstate, too scary he said. We never traveled faster than 38 miles per hour. He explained that he had read that 38 mph was the optimum speed for conserving gas.

Finally we got to the airport, but of course we had missed our flights. The airline got me a ticket to Dayton, then a commuter to Indy. When I arrived in Dayton there was a two hour layover. I should have just rented a car, but I was looking to save the company money. The plane that was to take me to Indy was late due to bad weather in Toronto. Finally, some time after 11:00 pm boarding was called. I was the only passenger. I joked with the pilots that I bet the plane was going to have "mechanical problems". I was sure there was no way they were going to operate a 20+ seat commuter for just me. The pilot assured me that the plane was going because they lived in Indy and wanted to get home. We taxied out. The copilot stood up and came back, he told me that we had mechanical problems, a warning light was on and they could not fly. I laughed and said I knew it.

The airline said they would get me a taxi. On the way to the entrance, I saw my pilot buddies renting a car. I told them they could ride with me. They said it was against airline policy and that they were on their own.

Rupert got me to the Indy airport with my navigational assistance. I had to give him written directions to get back to Dayton. Yes, we ate a late meal at a truckstop.

I went in to the airport to get my luggage. It had been left on the tarmac in Raleigh. They would send it to my house via express the next day. I just laughed.

This story is all true. This is the glamorous life of someone who travels for a living. Another airport, another hotel, another rental car -- they all blend together in the end. I have traveled the world and I have seen amazing sights at someone else's expense. I would not trade it for gold. How else do you get to meet people like Rupert?

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