February 28, 2006

Thomas at IU?

Rumors abound that Isaiah Thomas wants the soon to be vacant coaching gig at Indiana University.

I am in no way, shape, or form an IU fan, but putting Thomas in that position would be a HUGE mistake. The guy has screwed up everything he has touched as a manager/coach -- The CBA, Toronto, Indianapolis, now the Knicks.

Randy Whitman, Steve Alford, an outsider, PeeWee Herman, ANYONE EXCEPT THOMAS.

The new goodnight kiss

Last night there was a report on the local news about two high school newspapers in Indiana that are facing censorship from the schools' administration. The controversial articles deal with the increase in oral sex among high schoolers. According to reports, teens are increasingly viewing oral sex as an alternative to intercourse. The good news is that teen births are down. The bad news is the increase in STDs among our youth.

Teens are viewing oral sex as not "sex". Some teenagers now refer to a blowjob as the "new goodnight kiss." Older Americans who view oral sex as the most intimate of sexual acts, are flumoxed by this new attitude.

The best part of the report, this new attitude about oral sex, not sex, was Bill Clinton and his refusal to admit he had "sex" with Lewinsky was blamed for the prevailing attitude! There Bill Clinton, you have your legacy. Casual blowjobs are an expectation among today's young males. The rise in herpes, syphilis, and chlamydia can be laid in your lap...er, well, you know.

February 26, 2006

weekend cartoon



For my Liberal friends. Is that you Moonbatty?

February 25, 2006

Can someone help me?

I remember vaguely a movie set during the 60's. This family gets a hair up their ass, buys a school bus, paints it up in psychedelic colors and travels off to a "Woodstock" type festival. I think the Mom helps some hippie chick have a baby.

Not the Partridge Family.

Does anyone else remember this movie? I think it came out in the early 70's. It may have been a Made for TV movie. Help?

weekend cartoon

February 24, 2006

Bad, Bad, Hoosierboy -- a true confession

I am sitting here eating my lunch -- a hamburger, some Cheese Nips, a few green olives. I am washing it down with a root beer. I am grooving on Sinatra and the Red Norvo Quintet (Live in Australia). I am reading a few blogs. I realize something. I have a confession.

I have been reading blogs for a good long while now. I have been writing this piece o'crap for almost a year. I enjoy the heck out of writing and posting and reading your comments, even if I do get a mere fraction of the Tall Dogs' hits. I value each and every one of you who come here (that is not sarcasm -- I need the ego fodder).

With that out of the way, I have a confession to make. I think the Instapundit is about as boring a site as I have visited. I have tried to "get" it. I kept him in my favorites for a long time. Currently it is on my Yahoo home page. I rarely read it anymore because I find it a waste of my time. He links to other's work. He is the Cliff and Sparks Notes to the internet.

Look, I do not pretend I am Tolstoy or even Louis L'Amour. I cannot spell, my punctuation and grammar are sometimes weak. I do not express myself as well as I could. I usually spend about 5 minutes on a post. If I spent time and polished my writing this old blog would be better -- but here you get whatever spouts from the top of my mind. Reynolds is, without a doubt, smarter than I. He puts the time into his blog.

Here is my opinion: a lot of people hit the Instapundit site because it is "the" thing to do. How many of you spend quality time there? I have never added the Instapundit site to my links because I do not read him (and I will not put a hot link in here either). Maybe I am wrong. Set me straight. I have always said that education is a lifelong process. You big fans of the Puppy Blender should educate me right now. What am I missing?

I am just a hick

I do not pretend to be urbane, witty, a true cognoscenti. The big city is not my taste. But to paraphrase Popeye, I know what I know.

Here is what I know, the woman who added commentary to last nights Olympic ice skating needs to just shut up. Her attempts to make the competition more than just skating, jumping, and dancing prove ignorant and hilarious. Take for instance the "She must try to skate inside herself", or my favorite, "she does not get down and skate inside the ice, she just skates on top" as a reason why the skater got low scores. WTF? Imagine this approach on other sports. "Well Tony Kornholer, it looks like he is hitting with his pads, he needs to get outside his body to make that tackle." Or maybe this "Jeff Gordon needs to get outside that car if he wants to win this race, Rusty". Apparently this woman needs to interject some comment, so whatever vacuous, idiotic phrase that jumps into her mind suffices. Quit already, you do not sound intelligent or entertaining, leave the zen bullshit to guys who work on motorcycles.

I have been assured by the commentators, the reporters, and Perky Katie that the American indeed deserved the Silver Medal. Here is my take -- fall down twice, you did not do better than someone who did not fall down, or only fell down once. EOS. Too often, I think participants are judged by their name and reputation. I know this new scoring is supposed to eliminate the subjective scoring (and cheating by the fucking French), but If you put in hard elements and do not complete them,you do not deserve to win. You should not get credit for trying. In any case it is clear why the American fell twice. She should have tried to be the skate, not jump with them.

February 23, 2006

That what I think

exactly

I hate that damn song

The song Spinning Wheel from Blood, Sweat, and Tears is on the radio. I hate that fucking song. I will turn it off in a heartbeat. I also hate Steve Miller's Joker. Before that they were playing that opera shit from Queen.

There is a huge amount of 70's pop and disco that I consider total pieces of shit, and anything by Manfred Mann falls into that category for me. Also especially high on the shitty song list is Afternoon Delight. I like the idea, the song makes me want to puke chunky bits of the corndog I had for lunch.

Gotdamn, I just turned the station back and now they are playing Mr. Blue Sky from ELO. That radio station is determined to make me sick. That makes four of my least favorite songs in a row! It is obviously a conspiracy, I know they hate me. I think I will put in a CSN CD so I can summon the energy to go back to work.

What songs do you hate?

Dream Weaver

I had the weirdest dreams last night. I dreamed I was dreaming, and in the dreamed dream, I had deja vu.

Man, some days I am really screwed up.

Answer to the Wednesday Quiz

Walt wins again, the man in the picture is General George H. Thomas, The Rock of Chickamauga, my hero. My oldest son is named after old General Thomas.

February 22, 2006

Go ahead make my day

I follow politics on a sometime basis, probably more than most. I really need some of you deep thinkers out there to help me. Why in the world is GW willing to risk all and use his first veto to ensure we turn over our ports to a company from the United Arab Emirates? I am not in favor of turning over almost all of our eastern ports to any foreign nation, but especially to a nation that has never been a strong supporter of our country. Why is Bush so adamant on this? It was bad enough when Carter gave away the Panama Canal (now controlled at each end by the Chinese btw), but these are very busy domestic ports. Yes, I will admit a part of my concern is that this is a Muslim country, a known supporter of terrorists in the past. I do believe I would not be in favor even if the control were going to the Brits or the Canuks. The Indy airport is managed by a British firm, and I do not think much of that either.

Go ahead Bush, veto legislation stopping this transfer. I will punish your party and every jackanape who sides with you on this issue. I only have one vote, but I think I am not alone in this.
Edit. I will freely admit when I may be wrong. My big objection was that foreigners were taking over -- well foreigners already ran the ports. Read this for a nice argument in favor. Or read this for a succinct no nonsense approach. Mea Culpa. That is why research is important.

Wednesday Quiz

Here is the new edition of the Wednesday Quiz. Who Am I?

The answer can be easily found in the archives of this blog. You may or may not be getting periodic hints this week. I will be at home as I have to have a new furnace installed. The mofo happened to go out during the coldest days of the year. We have been without heat since Saturday, other than a couple of space heaters and the fireplace. boo hoo wah wah. Answer the quiz and Tinkerbell will live.

Hint #1 He was a Civil War General.
Hint #2. Both Grant and Sherman said he was the best general on either side.
Hint #3: He was from Virginia, yet is buried at West Point

February 21, 2006

Bobby Wheelock -- you are my hero

This guy is funny as hell. Go check him Out. here is a sample:

Why do they hate us?

Tipjar has a fascinating post today regarding the roots of terrorism. The article traces the roots of the modern jihad through to Bin Laden (and wahabism). The real key why they hate us -- we are not believers, we do not live as the prophet decreed. We do not have a cultured civilization (the ideal would be middle ages Spain under Moorish control).

Read the post and the attached article. Watermelon and bad haircuts led to the planes of 9/11. We are in a global war of culture, readers. It is truly us or them.

I do not care what your politics are...this is funny

February 20, 2006

Can potatoes see -- they have eyes?

Perhaps the more germane question today is do wisdom teeth make you smart? Does losing them make you less intelligent? After getting your wisdom teeth pulled will you now push on doors clearly marked "PULL"? Will you paint whiteout on your computer screen when you make a mistake? Will you stand, trying to figure out what kind of animal makes tracks like that until a train runs you over? Will you stare at your orange juice because the carton says "concentrate"? Will it take you a month to drive to California because every time you stopped for gas the sign said "clean restrooms" and you did? Will you face swell up and you have to use ice packs when you get your wisdom teeth pulled?

I think the answer is YES to at least some of these questions. Here is a tribute to anyone I know who had some wisdom teeth pulled last week.

Don't blame me, blame Otter.I hope you feel better, C.

Kids -- not the goat kind

I was at the mall yesterday and I found myself in the restroom. I was doing my business. A few urinals down a man had a couple of little kids. They looked to be about three and four. He was trying to keep them close, and help them with their pants and shirts and stuff.

The Man asked one of the kids "What is that all over your shirt?"

"Its boogies" says the boy.

"How did they get all over your shirt" the dad asks, knowing the answer, but he just has to be sure.

"I picked 'em at church, but I didn't know what to do with 'em. I just wiped 'em on my shirt." I could not see the boy, but I knew he was smiling with innocence.

Little kids are so great, they always tell the truth.

February 19, 2006

OMG OMG OMG

Go see this. This is an actual headline in today's Indianapolis Star. Trust me you will be glad you did.

weekend cartoon

February 18, 2006

Blame it on Otter

When I was a boy I loved war movies and cowboy movies. I spent many an afternoon glued to the TV to see Rowdy Yates in reruns of Rawhide.

I must have been about ten or eleven when I saw my first horror flick. The ordeal so traumatized me that I hate that genre of movies to this day. I have seen several scary movies. I thought the Exorcist was funny as hell the first time I saw it. Maybe the 12 pack or the drugs influenced that response, because the next night I went to see it again sober. I was so scared I could not put my feet on the floor. This was when I was in college!

One summer evening a century ago my brother wanted to see a movie. It must have been 1973, because the movie in question came out in December 1972. The details are sketchy, but Otter wanted/mom insisted I had to go too. He convinced me it was a cowboy movie. The title seemed right -- The Legend of Boggy Creek. We walked the several blocks to the theater (get that kiddies -- walked) and paid the price. I think Otter may have met some friends there. OMG, it was not a cowboy movie. It was about a monster that terrorized a small Arkansas town.

That movie scared the shit out of me. I can still remember that hairy hand trying to grab that guy of the crapper -- right through the window! I literally had nightmares about that movie for at least two years. Sometimes I still have them. I dreamed about the monster from Arkansas last night (not Hillary -- the bigfoot from the movie).

All my kids love horror movies. I refuse to watch. Many people like those kind of thrills. Not me. I fear Otter ruined me for life.

weekend cartoon NASCAR Edition

February 17, 2006

Decisions, decisions

Lets just say I win this weekends massive Powerball Jackpot, estimated at $365 million. What do I buy, besides beer, cigars and hookers?

This. The question at hand is what would it take to get it back to operational status. I only have to get it to Cape Cod and near the Kennedy Compound. I then will set sail for California -- a definite target rich environment.

Advice for a Friday

I work in a small office building (a converted house actually). By chance all the other businesses employ only women. There is one unisex bathroom.

Here is your hint for today, women of the working world -- if you take a dump in the restroom, spraying the room with copious amounts of perfume when you are done will not fool anyone. Your shit still stinks, now it just smells like turds sprayed with perfume.

A much better policy would be to leave the door open to air out the room. I fail to understand your insistence on keeping the restroom door shut and locked all the time. Quit leaving me notes, I know I am violating the policy when I leave the door open. If the door is open I know you are not in there, stinking up the joint and spraying perfume.

If I don't get it soon, I am gonna hold my breath!

I want it. I want it.

This was one of my favorite shows as a kid. I never understood why they had to add that limey bastard to the cast, I did not like that guy. Man, as a youth I hated those evil Germans.

Insomnia strikes again

The biggest problem with insomnia is that you find yourself watching late night TV. Bill Maher is on Leno. Is there a bigger asshat douchebag alive? He is a hypocritical fucktard, he is so biased. There is no issue with having a bias, just the continuing refusal to admit it. That is why he routinely gets my vote -- along with the smug, shit-eater Al Franken -- for dickhead of the month.


Bryant Gumble also fits in that catagory. Where is the outrage? Where are the cries of discrimination? Why hasn't he been fired? Write to HBO, cancel your overpriced subscription.

This was way too good to pass up

Your Pimp Name Is...

Ribbed Slick


stolen from Dax

February 16, 2006

A new hope

It is warm today, nearly 60 degrees. It will not last, the high is expected to be in the 20's tomorrow. Life.

I broke out my Cubs jacket today. Spring training begins this week. Already I look on the baseball season with new hope and of course, being a Cubs fan, with a sense of dread. Woods already looks like he will not be ready by Opening Day. Does the ageless Maddox have one more year in him? Was Lee's 2005 season a one -shot wonder?

On the local front, the little one's baseball team has begun indoor practice. Will they be as good or better than last year? The rec league will have try-outs in a few weeks. Soon our weekends will be filled with the ping of metal bats, the snap as the ball hits the glove, the smell of leather, of grass, of dirt, of the river next to the park. We will feel the bite of mosquitoes and the clouds of gnats will make drinking a coke hazardous. I will love every minute of it. Before we know it another season will pass us by. We will be older. A little more joy will be sapped from our lives, leaving only the memories of fun, excitement, disappointment, victory, and defeat. I will remember the laughter, the good times, the closeness of my family.

I noticed the buds are starting to form on the trees. The cold comes back, but each day it loses its strength. The wind will soon shift to the southwest, bringing spring, bring warmth, bringing new hopes for better days.

hahahahahahahaha

I just got this in an email from my dad.


click to make it larger

Insomnia Sucks

The pictures below of the Mighty Mac Bridge reminded me of a story told by my uncle. One of his Air Force friends from the late/ mid fifties was given a discharge from the Air Force. It seems he was stationed at nearby Kincheloe AFB and flew his plane under the bridge. It was the SAC bomber that had the rear facing props. Guy K probably knows the type of plane -- a "B forty-something".

That is how high this bridge is.

Last night I could not sleep so look what I did. Do not get used to it, I am not sure it is permanent yet.

Quiz Answer


Walt was the first to get it right -- yes it is the Mighty Mac -- the bridge across the Mackinac Straights. This bridge connects the Upper and Lower Michigan Peninsulas. The bridge is over 5 miles long and the road is 199 feet above the water at midspan. The main cables are comprised of more than 42,000 miles of wire. The central span is 8,600 foot long.

It is this bridge as much as any other that got me over my fear of bridges. I have to cross this bridge each way to visit one of my customers. My first crossing jitters many years ago were not helped when a colleague told me that a car had blown off this bridge before.

My last crossing (last summer) there was a high wind warning. Trucks were not allowed to cross. The wind was so strong, I had to turn the steering wheel into the wind. It was very scary and my old bridge fears came back for a bit. The view from the bridge is terrific. To the west is Lake Michigan, to the east is Lake Huron.

I have to admit I chose this only because I love the picture with the lightening. Next week I will test your mad history skilz. Or your recollections of my archives. You had better go back and read all of the previous posts and look at every picture I published, so you can be the first to get the answer right!

February 15, 2006

Wednesday Quiz

Here we go with another edition of the Wednesday Quiz. I love this picture, and in order to make this weeks quiz a little easier, I will offer multiple pictures as the day wears on. Like last week, I will add hints as the day progresses. Good luck!
Click on the picture to enlarge.

Hint#1 see if this helps with your guess:Yes that is lots of ice and snow.

Choices

I want to thank Otter for filling in for me while I was gone. I thought he wrote a very funny post. I am a little disappointed in the nasty comments from long-time reader Ted. It was Ted who gave me the advise to get a guest blogger the last time I was gone. Now he says nasty things about my brother's work. I assure you Otter thought out the post, and nasty comments are not appreciated. I bet Ted was the kid who tormented substitute teachers. I fear Otter will decline the next time I ask for help. I now have a choice, do I let it go, or do I ban a long time reader? Choices.

While watching the Olympics last night a thought occurred to me. You have a little boy who loves to skate. At some point he chooses hockey or Ice dancing. What is the impetus for that choice? These figure skaters are great athletes, no doubt. I sure cannot lift a shapely girl above my head ( I would not mind trying though). What draws these skaters to sequins, glitter and makeup? Was it overprotective moms who cringe at the violence of hockey? Was it a chance to get in with the chicks? What drives the choice of figure skating instead of hockey. Choices.

A Wednesday Quiz will be up soon. It is much easier this week. Check back and play along!

February 13, 2006

Otter the Sub

It started Friday afternoon when I got the call. The anticipation built, the excitement, the hunt, the kill, the standing with one foot on the dead prey beating your chest yelling “WOOHOO!” I was getting to drive the Hoosierboy safari boat for two days while he works in the internet-less rural countryside doing whatever it is he does on a daily basis besides minding his “blog”.
I had so many ideas…..
But now it has hit me again, the dreaded disease, the feeling that I haven’t had in years. The ailment I caught so many times in a storied undergraduate career and then again in grad school. The sickness that plagued me and caused so many of the fine men at Guinness to remain employed whilst I desperately try to bring words to paper. The dreaded “writers block”. Perhaps similar to teen, it was the entire anticipation aspect of getting to “do it”. Now it seems rather anti-climatic and I’m not sure I can get the job done.
My first thought when Hoosierboy asked me to substitute for him was that I was going to take a number of shots at my baby brother. Talk about the bonehead things he did as a kid, the crazy stuff he did in high school and college. Air all of Hoosierboy’s laundry and dirty little secrets. Offer a unique insight to Hoosierboy that many of you only think / wonder about (you need some other hobbies). But I realized when he returned he would have the last laugh, he would simply change the password and nail me unmercifully and relentlessly until I have to call Mom and have her make him stop.
I was going to do the old religion or political shtick but did not want to cause any major uprisings on the Hoosierboy site while he was not here to mediate.
I was going to talk about my family, but I only have two days to spout forth my meanderings, and trust me, two days won’t cut it, even if I write nonstop until Hoosierboy returns from his trek.
I was going to talk about our childhood in a rural Indiana town, how we spent our summers, filled our time, but I will leave that to Hoosierboy in his future endeavors.
I was going to offer insight as to how different Hoosierboy and Otter are – again probably not much different than any other siblings in the world, so no need to bore you with that tripe.
So I guess now I realize that I have just done for Hoosierboy, what I did a countless number of times throughout my life, I made it up as I went……Perhaps I will try to be a bit more creative for tomorrow, but then again, maybe not.
Substituting for Hoosierboy in a most humble and honorable way,
Otter

February 10, 2006

Modern Education -- a book report

Book report—advanced
Students were assigned to read and compare 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories. His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99
Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read
Titanic: The story of Jack & Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.
Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.
Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.......
Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica.....ooh, let's not go there, either.
Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary......basically the same thing.

We will meet or beat any advertised offer

I hear these words every day on the radio and TV. I refuse to shop at those stores if possible. You may know I am a salesman. I work hard to determine the market price, examine our costs and profitability targets and offer the customer a quotation at the best price possible. That means I make the most profit I can, and still get the business.

In recent years it has been a trend in the industry I work, that there are multiple rounds of bidding for business. That often means the buyer gives my pricing (of course minus a little) to the competitors as the "target price". That move lowers the market price and profitability for all concerned. It does offer the customer a lower price. It forces me to make concessions to get business I should have received on the first bid.

Retail stores offering to match the competitor pricing tells me that they are out to maximize profit. That is fine, but why should I do their legwork? The store should be aware of the current market price and adjust accordingly. I will shop for the best price, but I am certainly not going to help a store get business when they are higher than the business across the street. A salesman should be after my business.

The last car I purchased I was in the unique position that I did not have to buy a car. I knew what I wanted. I did a little research and determined a ballpark price for the vehicle. I went to several dealers offering the same conditions. I wanted one final price. If they had to "see the manager" they should do it now. I told each upfront I would take the best offer for the vehicle in question. They were free to throw in rebates, stereos, and options, but they only got one chance to bid for my business. Oh how they screamed, how they complained. Several offered to give me a better price, to match the competitor when I walked out, telling them they were too high.

I have no problem with a business maximizing profit. Sales people should understand as a customer I want the best price. For me, best price is the best value in cost, service, and quality. I offered each of the dealers an equal opportunity to give me the best price. All but one failed. I ask the same from my customers. If I lose business on merit fine, but I really hate the Chinese taking my designs, my engineering and my prices and low-balling me. I do not blame my customers, but I do not have to like it.

February 9, 2006

The Olympics in Turin or Torino, whatever.

Kiss my ass -- I can say something most of you cannot. I have been to Turin. More than once. Turin or Torino, if you prefer, is the Detroit of Italy. Fiat calls the city home.

Torino is a blue collar city. The city has done its best to clean up, to put on a good front, but in the end it is just not a pretty city. Of the more than 2 dozen European cities in six European countries I have visited, it is the ugliest, dirtiest, and most boring.

My most recent visit was in October of this year. The mountains (about an hour away)already had a coating of snow. The airport was under severe remodeling. The subway was still not complete. When I asked a friend if the city would be ready for the Olympics, he told me I have to consider the progress was pretty good -- for Italians!

My first visit to Torino is my favorite. First, a bit of explanation. My employer is a company on the outskirts of Torino. My boss is Italian. I was visiting the plant. After a few days of meetings etc., my boss asked one morning if I wanted to tour Torino. I jumped at the chance. He had one of the executives drive me into the city. Enrico pulled out a map and showed me some of the sites of interest. He reached across and opened my car door. He told me he would meet me back at this spot at 7:00 pm. It was 11:00 am. I was on my own with an Italian map. I speak a little French. I can say a few words in German. I cannot speak even ONE word of Italian.

In eight hours you can walk and learn the downtown of just about any city in the world. I wandered the Plaza where the Today show is being filmed. Near the site NBC will use for the Olympic coverage is the Palace, and some wonderful gardens. I watched a guy feel up his girlfriend on a park bench under the trees. I tried to see the famous shroud of Turin, but the Church was closed. I saw Roman Ruins. I visited a cool military museum. The museum featured arms from the mediaeval to current times. I saw ancient armor,swords and matchlocks, flintlocks, arms from the age of Napoleon -- all for about 3 Euros.

I walked to covered promenade along the shopping district. I drank a few beers, I had some wine and gellato. I watched the construction of one of the new entrances to the subway, and realized Italian workers stood around watching as much as American workers.

I did not take a camera, so I have to see the snapshots in my mind. I cannot even reference the map, my coworker insisted I return it. I had a nice time on that July day. I enjoyed the sun, saw some history, and watched a fine looking young Italian Girl get her jollies in a garden behind a palace of a king.

Life ain't all bad.

Monday Night Football

As any of you that care about such things already know, Monday Night Football is moving to ESPN next season. The announcing team has been released. Theismann is already about as annoying as you can get, but Kornheiser...good god, that man is a jerk and so annoying that I quit watching most of the programming on ESPN because just seeing commercial spots for his PIT show gave me a case of the red eye anger. I feel the need to take a shit after I see him on ESPN just to purge my body of any bile that is associated with that gasbag. The only person who could make the whole telecast more annoying is if they found a way to force feed Dickie V into the football commentary. Of course, since there is only one NFL team in Carolina, he would not be interested.

Why are they ditching Al Michaels, one of the best and most patient broadcasters in history? He has had put up with Madden and Dennis Miller. Well, I do not think I will watch many games next season unless the Colts are playing. Even then I will turn off the sound and listen to the local play-by-play broadcast.

Isandlwana


Isandhlwana is a mountain in Zululand, Natal, South Africa. It is also the site of one of the worst defeats in British history. An estimated 20,000 Zulu warrriors attacked the 1st Battalion of the 24th foot killing an estimated 1,300 to 1,500 of the 17,000 British and Native soldiers present. The movie Zulu Dawn depicts this battle.

By all accounts the British regulars put up a tremendous battle until they were overwhelm by raw numbers and a lack of amunition.

Ltaer that day, a group of about 4,000 Zulus attacked the British supply depot and hospital located about 8 miles away at Rorke's Drift. The 130 soldiers of the garrison held off the attackers for over 12 hours. 11 soldiers were awarded the Victoria Cross after that battle

February 8, 2006

Wednesday Quiz

I rarely eat breakfast. I might have cereal or eggs on a weekend morning. Once every couple of months I might get McDonald's for breakfast on a week day. I mentioned to my wife this morning she was running late.

"Poptarts take a long time to eat." she said. "Donuts are much faster".

I asked how long can it take to eat a Poptart? "They get too hot, then you have to wait on them before you can eat them" I was told. When I pointed out that you could change the settings on the toaster so they did not get so hot, she said "You do not understand. Just never mind." No I do not understand. Can you breakfast people help me with this?

Anyway on to the feature you are here for. I will tell you now, this weeks picture is really hard. Tougher than last week. The massive editorial and writing staff at Fat in Indiana have decided to make this week's quiz into a little game. Throughout the day, additional hints will be offered. It will be like a scavenger hunt, you may have to go to old posts to find the answers and hints. Genius Huh? You keep coming back for the hints, I get more hits! You read old posts, and love me all the more when you see my genius. We all win with the Wednesday Quiz.
I will post the first hint in about an hour. Good luck students!

hint #1: It is a battlefield. ( I know that is little help at all).
hint #2: if I were to do a Hoosierboy Profile in courage, the soldiers at this battle would be an entry.
hint #3 I would look at the post 230 years after the date of Paul Revere's famous ride.
hint #4 The place is not in the US. I have never been there, but it is likely that Kim DuToit has.
hint #5 -- final hint...the heirs of Shaka gained the spoils

February 7, 2006

I like boobs

I like boobs. Big ones, little ones, I do not care. I like looking at them, I like sucking on them, too bad I get so little opportunity...

I prefer natural ones, but I will not complain about fakies. I am not real fond of the poorly done boob jobs that make the breast look like a softball or even bowling ball on the chest. I do shudder for the future, what will those fake hooters look like in 30 years when the body gets old, but the tits do not? Thanks to Otter we all now know. Think on this image as you turn off the lights tonight:

February 6, 2006

Dr Suess and the Super Bowl

Am I the only one who thought that whole Dr. Suess thing at the beginning of the Superbowl telecast was just spooky and weird? I have not seen it mentioned anywhere else, was it a figment of my imagination, a drug flashback from the early 80's? The entire production made me really uncomfortable. Bring back Hank Jr.

Monday Musings

I am somewhat saddened and disappointed that there was not a single cry of "disgusting", or accusations of bad taste for this weekend's cartoons. I found both funny, but I was sure at least one of you would find them offensive Have I trained my readers to accept the light and embrace all things Hoosierboy? Have you become my minions, following my every word like dittoheads and parrotheads? Send me money. I am going to quit wasting my good stuff on you ungrateful bastards.

The Superbowl was boring. The wife suggested we get a pizza for supper as I was watching the game. I thought that was a good idea until she handed me money and told me to go pick it up. Wide receiver Randel El sure can throw a beautiful pass, huh?

I am going to see a speech by President George H. Bush on March 2. I have never seen a President live, it should be interesting. I had a chance to see Clinton, but the very thought made me ill.

I need a vacation.

Imagine...

Imagine this scenario: the ancient, gigantic statues of Buddha are destroyed in Northern Afghanistan and thousand upon thousands of adherents to Buddhism attacked the embassies of Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria,Iran and Indonesia. Buddhists eschewe their non-violence to beat to death Muslims. Several Mosques are burnt to the ground. Muslim schools are targeted by terrorists.

Imagine this: the Church of the Nativity is desecrated in Bethlehem. Christians all over the world are outraged. Muslims are shot on sight. Families are murdered for following the teachings of the Koran. In the Philippines, young Muslim girls are raped and beheaded. Mosques are firebombed. Millions show up to protest outside of Arab Embassies. Al Jazeera newsrooms are targeted by suicide bombers. At least two Muslim reporters are lynched in the US. Kamikaze planes are flown into the Iranian National Assembly Building with significant loss of civilian life.

Imagine this: Christians rise up and take over the Sofia Cathedral in Istanbul, these terrorist claim that the site is a historic Christian Holy site. All references to the Mosque on the site are destroyed and adherents Islam are forbidden to worship at the site. Christians go on a years -long terrorist binge, bombing restaurants, schools, buses, hotels, nightclubs and Ramadan feasts via suicide bomber.

What would be the reaction of Europe, of America, of the UN if Christians and Buddhists became terrorists? Would such actions be considered sane, condoned? Why is it OK for crazy fundamentalist Muslims to act this way? Why is it not surprising they freak out over cartoons run MONTHS ago? When are we going to wake up and realize there is no appeasement, there is no compromise. This is a war of culture, and we are not prepared to win.

February 3, 2006

Ultimate experience


I am going to steal a meme idea I heard yesterday on the radio. The local sports talk station (WNDE to give proper credit) was asking listeners to call in with their ultimate golf foursome and name who would drive the beer cart. I thought it was an original take on the old "who would you have to dinner meme".

Who would you have in your foursome? What beauty / hunk would drive the beer cart?

Now is the time for you lurkers to make a contribution. DO IT NOW. The quality of the weekend cartoon depends on your efforts.

Picture of rare, nearly extinct Florida Squirrel

February 2, 2006

State of the Union

I listen and watch every year, my anger growing. He gives us the status, his predictions. I hate that guy so much I see red. I hear his name and I just want to explode. This is the last year for him. That is my promise, my oath.

The rifle is snug against my shoulder. There is no wind. The high humidity should have little effect on my hand loaded cartridge. I settle in, the timing has to be perfect. He will be in my crosshairs for a second only. The sandbag that supports the forestock has been positioned and I am ready. The shot is long, but I have practiced for more than a year to save the country from this idiot, this pretender, this animal.

The crowd erupts into cheers, the music blares. It is time. I look through the reticule...I see him! I take up the slack on the trigger, I feel the breakpoint. Steady..no wind...the head is in my sight picture...I squeeze the trigger. A red mist explodes from the black lump of his coat.

Got him, fuckin' groundhog. If he does not have a head, he sees no shadow. No shadow: no more winter. I am cheered by the masses, parades are thrown in my honor...ding dong the witch is dead...I am the man who saved Groundhog Day.

Now go watch the movie.

Oldie, but still funny

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out
of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker
lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are
losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the
street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again.
She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the
trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde Says
brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the
street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath,
the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The
trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather,
and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next
light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and
runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers
it, he says.."Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Michigan and I'm
driving the SALT TRUCK!"

Answer to the Wednesday Test

Jerry waas closest.

The picture is of beautiful Multnomah Falls, located in the Columbia Gorge.
Plummeting 620 feet from its origins on Larch Mountain, Multnomah Falls is the second highest year-round waterfall in the United States. Nearly two million visitors a year come to see this ancient waterfall making it Oregon’s number one public destination.

Fed by underground springs from Larch Mountain, the flow over the falls varies usually being highest during winter and spring.

I have hiked the trail to the top at least twice, and part way many times. I have been here in summer and winter, it is always beautiful and breathtaking. The entire scenic highway drive is well worth your time.

February 1, 2006

A post for Yossarian

I mentioned below my sad and pathetic days as a librarian. I had worked at the library a few months and had learned most of the basics. My schedule was firm and routine. One week I was asked to trade days with a co-worker. Since that meant I would work a weekday morning instead of a Saturday, I jumped at the chance.

Each week we received a shipment of new books from Baker and Taylor. The books had to be cataloged, card catalog cards were made, and the book was sent to the basement for processing. This involved putting on the plastic cover, stamping the library name inside the book, and gluing on the pocket for the circulation card inside the front cover. Remember this was the dark ages, before computerized circulation and card catalogs. I was instructed to go downstairs to help Bobbi prepare the books.

Bobbi spent all day doing the above tasks and repairing books. She worked part time and I never worked with her. I saw her occasionally at shift change or staff meetings. She was nice, but by all accounts her husband was an abusive ass and her kids were heathens.

I went down to the basement and began working. Of course we began to talk, the tasks were not exactly mental challenges. Bobbi seemed pretty nice. After some time I looked at her while she was talking and I noticed she had the most beautiful eyes. Her glasses seemed to magnify their size. The very slight hint of green eye shadow made the deep milk-chocolate of her eyes stand out. Her cheekbones were high, and I realized she was quite pretty...If you could forget she had a serious mustache.

Sorry, my patrons were old or little kids. Only one female who used the branch library was moderately attractive, and she was a bitch. One old lady came in to flirt with me every day, and lots of preteen girls stopped by. It was dull and boring and did not pay much. As a job it sucked.

Wednesday Test


Here is your test for a Wednesday Morning. Can you Identify this place? It is one of my most favorite spots on Earth. I have travelled here many times.

Hint 1. It is at / near sea level.
Hint 2. It is located in a rain forest.
Consider everything here that is of original content copyrighted as of March 2005