May 30, 2006

Seems like a good idea to me

Guy K has developed a great idea to "fix" the immigration problem. Read it here. Brilliant, just brilliant.

Cigar of the Month


Yesterday, after toiling all day in the hot sun I parked my fat ass on the deck to enjoy a cold beer (or two) and smoked a cigar. The smoke of choice was La Vieja Habana a cigar from the Jonathan Drew factories (makers of Acid Cigars). This cigar is the best tasting cigar you can find for less than two bucks a smoke. Handmade of quality tobaccos, the only drawback is this is a short filler cigar, but you get what you pay for. This cigar has been my "everyday" smoke for a year or two, and I think I only have one left. Smooth, medium bodied, with a mellow finish this cigar is worth a try. If you like Dunhill, H. Uppman or similar smokes this guy is right up your alley.

Tuesday - this week's second Monday

Here we are at the beginning of another work week. I am sore and tired from a weekend of yard work. Creating, weeding, planting flower beds is not good for this old guy's soft hands. I also mowed the yard and trimmed the yew bushes in front. I still have to power wash the deck and siding sometime this week. Throw in baseball practice and games, and I will have to find time to do the work where I actually get paid! At least I do not have to go to Chicago this week.

May 28, 2006

Summertime Memories


A few days ago the wife came home with a handful of Jolly Rancher candies. Being of suspicious nature, I usually do not eat anything without knowing the source. These were wrapped so I thought "What the hell". I ate the sour apple as it is my favorite. Next I sucked on the grape, since I like anything grape flavored. Yesterday, I popped the watermelon Jolly Rancher.

The distinct flavor washed over me and I was instantly transported. I smelled dust and grass and sweat. I pictured the lush greenness of the park. The hot metal smell of the big double slide. I heard the shouts and squeals of delight as kids rode the swings, the merry go round, and the witches hat. I remembered the sounds of the fast-pitch softball games my Dad played. I remembered the thrill of riding a butt-slick curly slide. The taste of that candy reminded me of summers in my youth and the Jolly Ranchers I bought at the park concession stand. It lasted but a second, but it was a nice and wonderful memory. I wish I could explain it better, I lack the skills to describe that vista in my mind. The brain is sure funny.

I think I will buy a bag of Jolly Ranchers the next time I go to the store.

weekend cartoon


Continuing with a theme.

May 26, 2006

Not PC, sue me.

Panty Stitcher and Diesel Fitter.....

Manuel and Pedro worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Manuel answered "Panty stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' cotton panties."
The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled
labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
Pedro was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter." he replied. Since
diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Pedro $600 a week.
When Manuel found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and coworker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters
are skilled labor. "What skill?" yelled Manuel, "I sew da elastic on da panties, Pedro puts dem over his head and says,'Yeah, diesel fitter.'"

Friday Funny

A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a horrible
sunburn. He is taken to the hospital by ambulance and is promptly admitted
after being diagnosed with second degree burns.

With his skin already starting to blister and noting the severe pain he is
in, the doctor goes ahead and prescribes continuous intravenous feeding with
saline, electrolytes, a sedative and a Viagra pill every four hours.


The nurse, who is rather astounded, asks, "What good will Viagra do for him
now, Doctor?"



"It'll keep the sheets off his legs."

Friday

I am sitting at the table this morning looking at some blogs, answering Emails for work. I take a sip of coffee and see some movement on my deck. I look up expecting to see a bird taking one of the hundreds of daily craps on the deck. A bunny is sitting on the deck staring through the window at me. I try not to move, to see how long it will last. I try not to scratch my ass or balls, or to swear out loud. Who knows, I have heard Santa sends elves to spy on us to see if we are naughty or nice, maybe the Easter Bunny has his minions as well? He looks a moment and walks away in the awkward long legged style a rabbit does when it is not running.

Two trips in two weeks have convinced me the authorities in Illinois in charge of hiways are sadistic assholes. Is it really necessary to do construction on EVERY SINGLE highway in the Chicago area at once? Do we need half-finished toll booths at every instance? Would it not have been a better plan to finish one toll plaza before starting the next? I feel for OG and others who have to navigate that nightmare on a daily basis. I did buy an Ipass, that helps a little, but now I have that ugly box glued to my windshield.

I have tons of work due today, call reports, two weeks of expense reports, appointments to make etc. After two straight 16 hour plus days, I find little motivation to get after it today. Oh, well it is a long weekend, enjoy it people.

May 24, 2006

NSA

The Geek has another brilliant post. He has looked at the legal issues involved with the NSA surveillance issue. Read it, ponder, and comment. What do you think?

Pussycat cam

I heard on the radio this morning that Purina is sponsoring a webcast of ten cats all living in a house together. If you watch this you deserve to be shot. I will not offer the link, lest I cause a death from boredom.

As an avid student of history, it is always with interest I study the attitudes and beliefs of our forebears. Scenarios detailing the end of time have often dominated history. Every major religion has an end of time scenario, and many are similar. The Sunni Muslim depiction of the Mahdi is similar to the Jewish Messiah and Christian return of Christ. The turmoil and war that precedes the triumphant return of the Savior is prevalent in all three tales. One can find similar beliefs in many other religions, including the adherents of the Ghost Dance craze among the Plains Indians in the 1890's.

The people of the 5th Century were convinced they were living in the end times. Christianity was making significant inroads into paganism. Daily life was hard, one lived in constant fear of raids by other tribes / nations. The beginnings of the feudal system were taking hold. It was truly the dark ages. The idea of the triumphant return of Christ had great appeal. I am sure many a Christian was disappointed when the year 500 came and went without the Antichrist or the return of the Savior.

We again find ourselves in a time of turmoil. The world appears to poised for the apocalypse. Iran threatening the Promised Land with nukes, nations around the globe poised to unleash nuclear hellfire upon each other in the name of religion. Is the Antichrist among us? Is the end time near? Are we closer than ever? Could we not claim that the days of WWI or WWII were more catastrophic, more terrifying, closer to the war of wars?

What do you think? Are we entering the end times? Is our date with destiny in the far distant future? Will there be the apocalypse? Is it too nice a day to worry about such gloomy fates?

May 23, 2006

King Arthur

It was beautiful yesterday, high right about 70 and sunny. Today looks like a repeat, no rain until Wednesday night. The sun over the weekend ended a string of 11 straight days of rain. It will be nice for baseball practice this evening. The move to Daylight Savings Time is clear in Indiana, it already is still light after nine PM.

We enjoyed supper on the deck last night. I cooked up barbecue chicken, hashbrown cassarole, corn on the cob, and fresh sliced tomatoes from the farmers market. Finally a tomato that had some taste!

Posting might be light again this week, traveling again to Chicago.

I could offer you the same old rants about our not so conservative President, the low regard I hold for our Senate and Representatives. I could go on about immigration, and the half-assed prosecution of the war on terror, but why bother? Many of you feel the same, and I am bored with it all.

This post, like the one yesterday has nothing to do with King Arthur. I am reading a book about that worthy subject, and he is on my mind.

May 22, 2006

Your Vocabulary Lesson for the Day

Here is a definition of irony

As my man at Vogon Poetry writes, "Maybe we should stage a protest".

King Arthur was gay

Good morning. It is bright and sunny in Hooiserland for the third day in a row. At first I was frightened by the big glowing orb in the sky, but then I remembered it was the sun, and it was good. Temperatures are still a bit on the cool side, but at least it is not raining!

I have a question for you, since a Democrat Congressman was caught taking bribes will the media and liberals start screaming about the "culture of corruption" in the Democrat Party? That is what I thought. Here is what I will agree -- politicians are corrupt, greedy, self-serving scum. What do you think?

The baseball team just finished a tough weekend. Due to make up games, we had to play 4 games in three days. We maintained our perfect record. With half the season complete, we are winless. It must be coaching. Oh well, any day at the ballpark is better than a day doing yard work!

School is out in 3 days. Everyone here cannot wait. Have a good day readers.

May 21, 2006

Weekend Cartoon



Thanks to Otter, I now have several more weeks of Weekend Cartoons.

May 20, 2006

Is this authentic? It should be.

A retired border patrol agent shows some common sense......


This letter sent to Tennessee Senator Bill Frist from a retired border patrol agent, and it has more common sense than all the bull being spouted from the Senate, with the exception of a few sensible representatives.


Dear Senator Frist:


There is a huge amount of propaganda and myths circulating about illegal aliens, particularly illegal Mexican, Salvadoran, Guatemalan and Honduran aliens.


#1. Illegal aliens generally do NOT want U.S. citizenship. Americans are very vain thinking that everybody in the world wants to be a U.S. citizen. Mexicans, and other nationalities want to remain citizens of their home countries while obtaining the benefits offered by the United States such as employment, medical care, in-state tuition, government subsidized housing and free education for their offspring. Their main attraction is employment and their loyalty usually remains at home. They want benefits earned and subsidized by middle class Americans. What illegal aliens want are benefits of American residence without paying the price.


#2. There are no jobs that Americans won't do. Illegal aliens are doing jobs that Americans can't take and still support their families. Illegal aliens take low wage jobs, live dozens in a single residence home, share expenses and send money to their home country. There are no jobs that Americans won't do for a decent wage.


#3. Every person who illegally entered this nation left a home. They are NOT homeless and they are NOT Americans. Some left jobs in their home countries. They come to send money to their real home as evidenced by the more than 20 billion dollars sent out of the country each year by illegal aliens. These illegal aliens knowingly and willfully entered this nation in violation of the law and therefore assumed the risk of detection and deportation. Those who brought their alien children assumed the responsibility and risk on behalf of their children.


#4. Illegal aliens are NOT critical to the economy. Illegal aliens constitute less than 5% of the work-force. However, they reduce wages and benefits for lawful U.S. residents.


#5. This is NOT an immigrant nation. There are 280 million native born Americans. While it is true that this nation was settled and founded by immigrants (legal immigrants), it is also true that there is not a nation on this planet that was not settled by immigrants at one time or another.


#6. The United States is welcoming to legal immigrants. Illegal aliens are not immigrants by definition. The U.S. accepts more lawful immigrants every year than the rest of the world combined.


#7 There is no such thing as the "Hispanic vote". Hispanics are white, brown, black and every shade in between. Hispanics are Republicans, Democrats, Anarchists, Communists, Marxists and Independents The so-called "Hispanic vote" is a myth. Pandering to illegal aliens to get the Hispanic vote is a dead end.


#8. Mexico is NOT a friend of the United States. Since 1848 Mexicans have resented the United States. During World War I Mexico allowed German Spies to operate freely in Mexico to spy on the U.S. During World War II Mexico allowed the Axis powers to spy on the U.S. from Mexico . During the Cold War Mexico allowed spies hostile to the U.S. to operate freely. The attack on the Twin Towers in 2001 was cheered and applauded all across Mexico. Today Mexican school children are taught that the U.S. stole California, Arizona, new Mexico and Texas. If you don't believe it, check out some Mexican textbooks written for their schoolchildren.


#9. Although some illegal aliens enter this country for a better life, there are 6 billion people on this planet. At least 1 billion of those live on less than one dollar a day. If wanting a better life is a valid excuse to break the law and sneak into America, then let's allow those one billion to come to America and we'll turn the USA into a Third World nation overnight. Besides, there are 280 million native born Americans who want a better life. I'll bet Bill Gates and Donald Trump want a better life. When will the USA lifeboat be full? Since when is wanting a better life a good reason to trash another nation?


#10. There is a labor shortage in this country. This is a lie. There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of American housewives, senior citizens, students, unemployed and underemployed who would gladly take jobs at a decent wage.


#11. It is racist to want secure borders. What is racist about wanting secure borders and a secure America? What is racist about not wanting people to sneak into America and steal benefits we have set aside for legal aliens, senior citizens, children and other legal residents? What is it about race that entitles people to violate our laws, steal identities, and take the American Dream without paying the price? For about four decades American politicians have refused to secure our borders and look after the welfare of middle class Americans. These politicians have been of both parties. A huge debt to American society has resulted. This debt will be satisfied and the interest will be high. There has already been riots in the streets by illegal aliens and their supporters. There will be more.


You, as a politician, have a choice to offend the illegal aliens who have stolen into this country and demanded the rights afforded to U.S. citizens or to offend those of us who are stakeholders in this country. The interest will be steep either way. There will be civil unrest. There will be a reckoning. Do you have the courage to do what is right for America? Or, will you bow to the wants and needs of those who don't even have the right to remain here? There will be a reckoning. It will come in November of this year, again in 2008 and yet again in 2010. We will not allow America to be stolen by third world agitators and thieves.


David J. Stoddard U.S. Border Patrol (RET) Hereford, Arizona

May 18, 2006

Chicago, My Kind of Town

Traveling again this week, I am off to the Windy City and NW Indiana. It looks like I will be hitting Chicago on a regular basis from now on, so a mini Hoosier blog meet may be in order later this summer. What do you think Og, Alli?

A classic...

THE HORTH WITHPERER.....

Bob calls his buddy Sam, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. Sam asks "How will I recognize him?"

That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment."

So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.

"A female horth."

So he shows him a prized filly.

"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"?

Sam picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.

"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"? So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.

"Nith earzth, can I see her mouf"?

The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.

"Nice mouf, can I see her twat"?

Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I should rephrase that; Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit."

May 17, 2006

Take it easy

The broadband is working, I hooked up the wireless with no trouble at all. Thanks to all who offered their help (that includes you Jerry).

The weather looks like it will finally break today, partly sunny and temps hitting the 70's. I hope the weather holds -- we have a full slate of baseball scheduled for this weekend. 4 games in three days -- the pitchers will be worn out!

As I expected, GW offered nothing of substance. If it is the desire of the President that immigrants should learn English, he should immediately issue an Executive Order demanding all Federal Government documents, signs, paperwork, etc. be printed only in English. That is what I thought. Allowing illegals to stay under any circumstances is amnesty -- I do not care what you call it. The whole plan is just window dressing put up to make the Repubs appear to be doing something to save the midterm elections. Write your Senator and tell him what you think!

May 16, 2006

I am broadband

I now have a broadband cable modem. I'm as fast as Tony Sterart, baby.

Next up -- wireless networking. I will become an computer geek yet.

May 15, 2006

Monday, Monday

We are bursting at the seams here at the old homestead. We live in a at-best modest 1400 square foot home with 3 bedroom, 2 bath. Not a large house by any standard. There are five of us here, the boys share a room (not always happily).

Now that I have to work from home, we need to find a place for a desk, a chair, files, catalogues, etc. etc. The daughter has returned home from college with her truckload (literally) of stuff. As the wife is a packrat, the garage is full, the attic is full, the rented storage shed is full. I am about to go nuts. They are coming to put in new business lines for the home office today, and I do not know where to tell them to install. Ultimately we are going to build part of the garage into a bedroom and office, but in the interim we have no space at the old inn. I suppose I will run the lines into the garage and ask them to leave lots of extra wire.

GW is set to give us his view of immigration tonight. If his plan includes any type of amnesty, guest worker etc., namely anything that does not include sending them back, closing the border, and punishing employers who hire illegals, I am done. This man has ignored those that put him into office long enough. His Iraq plan is non-existent, he has allowed the Stupid Party to spend at will, and is too soft on immigration. If the Republicans can not find their conservative way we will soon be blessed with another 50 years of Democrat control. I am not sure we can survive more big government. My wish for today (other than that winning lottery ticket) is for the ghost of Ronald Reagan to visit GW while he takes his nap, and set him on the path of less government, fair taxation, closed borders, and America first foreign policy. I know, I am the one dreaming.

I hate politicians.

May 14, 2006

And the rain came

Raining. Still. What do we have -- 3-4 inches this weekend? They say it might quit by Wednesday. The weatherman says it will start again Thursday. I think we have had rain 15 of the last 25 days or so. Cold, wet March weather brings me no joy on this Mothers Day. Piss and moan, I know there are people who need the rain far more than those of us in the Great Lakes and Ohio Valley. I would be glad to share the rain, if you sent a little sunshine and warmth this way. It is May 14 and the damn furnace is running.

I went to buy cards for my wife and my mom yesterday. The choices at the local Hallmark all sucked. It was not that they were the picked over remains of the early shoppers and conscientious husbands, sons, and daughters, they were just stupid, bland and boring. Good work Hallmark. Hey, you can recycle some of the good cards from yesteryear. I bought a couple of stupid ones anyway...Thank You Mother yadda yadda.

I do not yet know our plans for today. Were supposed to play ball, but the other team cancelled, too many moms complaining. My wife asked what is wrong with those women -- what is a better Mothers Day than spending it with your family? See, she is smart -- not only did she pick me, she has common sense. We may drive the 1-1/2 hours each way to see our Moms today. We shall see.

For all you Moms out there, thanks for all you do. Happiest of days to you. Kick that lazy husband/son/daughter and make them cook you up a nice barbecue on the grill, take you out to a nice dinner, or pour that Stouffers onto the good plates today. Happy Mothers Day.

May 13, 2006

Luck, be a lady tonight

The baseball games were rained out last night, and today does not look good either. So many parts of the country really need the rain, yet we are doused for weeks at a time. Mother Nature is a fickle bitch. The spate of cold temperatures continues with highs on the 40s. This is May for goodness sake, enough already. We have not planted flowers or tomatoes, it has been too wet or cold every weekend. It looks as if I will be buying my 'maters from the farmers market again this year.

For the first time in a long time there will be no weekend cartoons this week. Will anyone notice? Will anyone care? I will get high speed cable internet next week, everyone is excited. It is my understanding I can then get a wireless router and more than one person can be on the internet at once. Is this true? My kids will be thrilled if so. The best part is my company will pay for it!

Do you believe in karma, luck, fate? Do you believe the unseen hand of Fortuna is guiding our lives with her Wheel of Fortune? Does God have a book with our lives mapped out? Are our days numbered? Can we change that karma, that luck? Is a family really cursed with bad luck? Is it random chance that you win the lottery, blow that tire, break that leg, find the ten spot on the sidewalk? Is your daily attitude and level of optimism tied to your level of luck? Is it all just a bunch of horseradish?

May 12, 2006

I hate school projects


Teaching is a hard job. I said it, teachers have to deal with paperwork, students who do not want to learn, mainstreaming of disabled and mentally handicapped children. The have lost the ability to discipline, in fact in many cases teachers are just expensive babysitters.

That said, why do they have to take out their frustrations on the kids by assigning stupid projects? These poor excuses for homework only test the parent's abilities to build and design some artistic masterpiece that Johnny signs. We then have to make arrangements to get these artworks to school so the local bully does not destroy it on the schoolbus. I am no artist, and my kids are dreamers, they conceive of the most elegant and wonderful ideas, all of which are unbuildable (at least by me). If they do not have an idea, I am lost, I am creative in many ways, just not when it comes to school projects.

Some people are visual. In the past we have built the home of the boxcar children (a boxcar) and a dwelling typical of the Eastern Woodlands Indians. I guess on some level those projects have an educational value. aside: don't they show filmstrips with pictures of this stuff anymore? A good visual would have saved us hours of gluing thin strips of bark onto a bowl to look like a wigwam. Anyway, the little one announced last night he has one more project due before school is out (9 days)-- he has to build an outhouse. That is what this project stinks of -- a bunch of shit.

Can anyone tell me the educational value in this assignment? How does this relate to an English class? Can anyone offer creative, yet simple ideas an old history major can use to build such a time-wasting, stupid, idiotic, end of school, make-work project? I hate school projects.

Rocker loses on American Idol

There is mourning at my house. Apparently the favorite on American Idol lost earlier this week. There was gnashing of teeth, wailing about never watching the show again. There was hope when rumors floated about phone line problems and malfeasance.

My level of interest in such is evident by the posting about such things several days later. Who gives a rats hairy ass about American Idol? If you are going to let the phone in votes of 14 year old girls determine your happiness and enjoyment of a TV show, well I have nothing more to say.

I say let hot girls sing naked and I might watch. Until that programming change I really could not care less about American Idol.

My winless baseball team has games tonight and tomorrow. At the beginning it was the consensus we would be one of the teams to beat. I guess it is bad coaching. I suspect we will be 0-4 by this time Sunday.

Do not forget about Mother's Day!

May 11, 2006

statistics

On May 1st, as a result of the Mexican boycott,

national retailers reported 4.2% lower sales for

the day, with a 67.8% reduction in shoplifting....!

Illegal Immigration -- the side you do not see

My 17 year old son is again in the job market. He has been applying and looking for a suitable part-time job for a few weeks. For teenage boys, the job market is increasingly tough. Fast food, grocers and such are hiring immigrants to do the jobs once held by teens. I understand why. Immigrants can work more hours and are not subject to child labor laws. Immigrants are not in school, so they do not ask off for dances and ball games. They work hard, taking advantage of the opportunity. They in many cases, may be an upgrade from a smart assed , pimply faced, angst-ridden teenager.

They take the jobs from teenaged Hoosiers. They take the summer lawn care jobs, the painting, the roofing, the roadwork. They are the busboys, cooks, and cleaners. We are told, as Americans, we should be thankful for the influx of Hispanics, legal and otherwise because they do the jobs ordinary Americans do not want. I call bullshit. They are taking jobs from my son and many others who want to make some money for college, for a car, for a date on a Saturday night.

Go home.

May 9, 2006

Quality is job 1

That used to be Ford's slogan. I now know why they do not use it any more. The new car had a bad connector on the alternator, and a bad alternator. Of course it was covered by warranty. That does not lessen the aggravation factor.

It is a beautiful; day at the Hoosierboy Homestead. The weather quacks are predicting rain for the next several days. Between the weather and the job, it looks like no baseball practice this week. I am sure the boys do not mind, but we need it. Of course the little one spent about an hour bouncing tennis balls off the garage and fielding the ball. For him it is fun -- it takes all kinds I guess.

I am off later today to have new tires put on my Durango. I know it is going to be financially painful, but I have more than 100,000 miles on that set, so I should not complain.

May 8, 2006

Late.

Happiest of belated Birthday wishes to GuyK, one of my favorite bloggers. Go and tell him Hoosierboy said Happy Day.

The azaleas are in bloom

It is May in Indy. The over-hype about a once great race begins in earnest. The lead coverage was opening day at Indianapolis Motor Speedway on every newscast last night. Only by listening closely could you determine there were a whopping eight cars on the track. Gone are the halcyon days of the seventies when tens of thousands of fans filled the stands every day just to see cars practice. Fifty cars and drivers would compete for the 33 starting spots. Now the race struggles to fill the field.

Worse, we can expect more coverage of average driver Danica Patrick. She came in fourth last year, but I bet if you were to ask the public, more than one person would claim she won the race! The IRL promoted her at every venue, but statistics show she was sub-average throughout the year. Enough already, put her on the news when she wins something.

May 7, 2006

Weekend Cartoon


From Otter.

Click to make it bigger

May 6, 2006

I'm back, I'm nationwide

I am finally back from a long roadtrip that began last Sunday. The trip started with the limo driver wanting me to go into business with him. He claims he is making over $100 K per year at this business, but never really explained why he is picking up passengers at the Newark airport at 11:00 at night.

The trip home was eventful. I picked up my new company car to drive home. I had to stop at a dealer to investigate the "check charging system light" that came on 200 miles into my trip. This necessitated a two hour detour and stop in Wilkes-Barre. Did I mention this was a BRAND NEW car? It only had 198 miles on it when I pulled into the Ford Dealer. The light came on intermittently during the balance of the trip. I determined that I was going to drive it until it died, then call for roadside assistance if necessary. As it was I enjoyed a 20+ hour day.

More later -- A huge thanks to Otter for filling in while I was gone. Be sure and tell him how he did in the comments.

May 4, 2006

Otter's Rants....

I’m pissed today. Not really sure I know why, but I am – (Actually, I know, but that will be another substitution post)…..Here are ten completely random things I am pissed about…
1)Who the “F” cares if Barry Bonds ties or passes Babe Ruth. I was watching the Red Sox and Blue Jays game last night and they broke away to show Bonds at bat…I really don’t recall other situations where they broke away to show someone “tying for second.”
2)If you are an illegal “resident” (politically correct to piss HB off), what right do you have to protest? If you don’t like it here – go home.
3)When you merge onto the highway, you have to yield.
4)Who cares if pro athletes have lost a kazillion dollars gambling – everyone has problems.
5)Stop sending me mail for feminine stuff – Hair color, eye liner, high heel shoes, pantyhose, dresses - (not that I don’t look pretty in those things) but I live here alone and I don’t want the junk mail. (although the Victoria’s Secret catalog can still be delivered)
6)England’s chances of winning the World Cup are ruined because Sir Alex had to play Wayne Rooney in a fixture against Chelsea that meant absolutely nothing –
7)A woman playing in men’s sporting events…i.e. Michele Wie trying to qualify for the Men’s US Open. Play in the Women’s Open – that’s why they have it
8)When you mass produce microbrew beer, distribute all over the country, you really don’t have a microbrew anymore.
9)If you are in the “express lane” you really are expected to move quickly – it’s the EXPRESS lane.
10)When I was younger, I always said that I had no regrets….Now I have a ton of them.

Today's Picture....

May 3, 2006

Confession of a wandering Hoosierboy

I am enjoying the weather and unique accents of New England this week. It is day 3 of the New Job. Actually, Otter has been publishing the posts this week -- well sort of. I loaded some stuff before I left and he is releasing it in a timely fashion. I urge you to ride his ass and get him to tell some of his tales. Believe me, the guy lives an interesting life.

I went trap shooting today. It beat the hell out of golf as a team building exercise. Who would have thought liberal bastion upstate New Jersey has shooting facilities? I suspect I am very close to this guy, but we are pretty regimented in our sales meeting activities, so I will have to try and hook up next time I am in the area (I owe him a beer or three anyway). I did not shoot as well as I like, the bifocals really fucked up the path of the pigeons. I hit about half the targets, but I have not shot a shotgun for close to 20 years! It is sad to think I was once a very good shot. I know, excuses excuses. Shit, I just realized as the crow flies I am also pretty near this loverly lady.

Otter has more posts for the rest of the week, I will not be home again until late Friday / early Saturday morning. We have a weekend of baseball slated, so I am not sure when you will get the pleasure of reading my words again. I am very sorry for you!

Picture of the day...

May 1, 2006

Help


Sometimes I think I am in this movie. Ducks are nesting in the flowerbed on the east side of my house. Doves sit on my roof and front porch by day. Geese are in the lake making noise and shitting dog-sized turds in my yard. Birds (robins and cardinals) are shitting all over my back deck. The rail is covered in shit and the decking itself is stained all over. Even the steps are splattered. One cannot lean on the rail or walk on the boards without a white offal encounter.

I wash it off and in a matter of days they have shit everywhere again. Is there any solution to get rid of these turd machines? The neighbors feed the SOBs and they come to my house to relieve themselves. Help me before I am overrun with guano.

Picture of the day....

Consider everything here that is of original content copyrighted as of March 2005