January 31, 2007

Filthy Hippies

I am watching the VH1 Movies that Rock and today the movie is Woodstock

What tripe. Great music, but the message is just more filthy dirty hippies spouting the peacelovecommie bullshit that cost us the war in Vietnam. The same assholes are trying to do it again today. These asshats really believed if they just all collectively chanted "no rain" it would stop the storm. Well, I blame the whole thing on Global Warming. It was hot at Woodstock.

Joe Cocker is doing his thing, I am reminded of John Belushi's great imitation. I have never been able to watch Cocker perform since without cracking up. The Who just rock. Did you know that Sha Na Na performed at Woodstock? I had forgotten that. Do you remember their TV Show? My Dad loved that garbage. He also liked Hee Haw.

I saw a clip of that traitorous bitch Jane Fonda on O'Reilly a bit ago. A reporter asked her if she had any guilt about the millions of Vietnamese and Laotians that were massacred in the wake of the Democrat inspired cut and run policy in SE Asia. She replied "no, we should have never been there to start with". Why she was not executed as a traitor remains one of the biggest mysteries of the last century, in my mind.

Too bad you did not eat the brown acid you hippie motherfuckers. You are plague to our nation today.

January 30, 2007

tatew, tatew, kaaboo -- got you.


When I was a boy I had a replica percussion cap toy gun that looked like the gun used by Daniel Boone or Davy Crockett. Of course they used flintlocks, but this percussion cap replica was cool because it was made from wood and steel. It even had a metal ramrod. It came with a matching pistol, also made of sturdy wood and steel. The rifle fired those little red strips of caps in the pan. You had to load them one little square at a time, just like a real muzzle loader -- slow. Once, Otter swung this gun around and around and then let go of the gun hitting me in the back, I had a huge bruise. I probably cried. I did not rat him out, because he always found a way to convince me I would get into trouble. Older siblings always do that shit.

I had other guns too. I had a complete US Cavalry set that even had a toy sword. Sometimes Dad would take wooden garden stakes and nail a little cross piece so I could have a sword. We would sharpen it to a crude point. Everyone in the neighborhood had several toy guns. We played army all the time. It was never unusual on a summer day to see the neighborhood boys setting ambushes and fighting behind sheds, gardens and fence rows with their toy guns. Often a squad of these summer soldiers walked down the street carrying their mixed bag of weapons, looking for the enemy. I spent hours sailing the seas on our patio ship; the picnic table a sturdy quarterdeck. I shot imaginary redcoats and slaughtered filthy Japs and Germans by the thousands. My bike was a swift horse, a croquet mallet was a battle axe. Lawn darts were perfect hand grenades. So were rocks. It is what boys did. Later we graduated to real guns and shot rabbits and squirrels.

You cannot find toy guns in a toy store much anymore. You never see kids walking the neighborhood looking for Indians, Rebels, Nazis or damn Commies to shoot. If you do see a gun it is painted a bright orange to show it is a toy. They started that crap when we were kids. They put a screen across the barrel. We took a drill and drilled it out so the little black snub nosed revolvers looked more real.

Kids still want to pretend to shoot stuff. Laser tag and paintball are incredibly popular among prepubescent and teen aged boys.

The hippies are slowly winning. Kids do not play army any more. I never hear the pop of caps outside my window. We do not keep score at soccer games (hell, kids play soccer). We cannot see Bugs Bunny and his pals on TV, the cartoons are too violent. Fights in the schoolyard are now an infrequent event. Schools preach non-violence and peaceful dialogue. When I was a boy nearly every boy carried a pocketknife. Now you would be expelled for the semester and charged with a felony if you carried a pocketknife to school.

We are raising a generation of pussies.

Old 1084


I cleared the snow from the patio and grilled some fine strip steaks this evening. Baked potatoes and salad completed the feast. Man, lettuce and tomatoes are like eating gold these days.

It was colder than the gates of hell outside but worth every freezing second to eat those steaks. I cook on the grill year-round and for you purists, that is why I have a gas grill. One could not deal with charcoal when it gets dark around six in the evening and the wind howls around the eves, blowing snow. The windchill was a brisk sixteen degrees, and the triple flames on the Brinkman kept me warm.

We had a berry cobbler later for desert. The little one made some ice cream, since he does not like cobbler. He learned this in science class. Here is how he does it, and it is as close to homemade ice cream as you can get without dragging out the freezer:

1/2 C milk
1/2 C heavy cream
3t sugar (or more to taste)
1/2t vanilla extract

mix ingredients in a sandwich size zip loc baggie -- make sure it is sealed tight.

Place the small baggie inside a gallon size zip loc bag filled just over half full with ice. Cover the ice with salt (kosher or ice cream salt work best, but table salt will do -- do not be stingy)again, make sure the small baggie is sealed tight.

Shake the big bag with the salt, ice, and little baggie about 8-10 minutes until the ice cream solidifies.

Open the big baggie and remove the small baggie, rinse off the salt from the outside.
Squeeze into a bowl and enjoy.

You get it all here -- politics, jokes, cooking...I bet you are asking "Is there anything he cannot cover?"

January 29, 2007

Listless

list·less /ˈlɪstlɪs/ [list-lis] –adjective. having or showing little or no interest in anything; languid; spiritless; indifferent: a listless mood; a listless handshake.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Origin: 1400–50; late ME lystles. See list4, -less]

—Related forms
list·less·ly, adverb
list·less·ness, noun
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.


That pretty much sums it up. There are some excellent posts in the places listed over there in the sidebar. Check out Yabu, or maybe Barista Grazioso for just an example of a couple of posts that say what I think in a much better way.

I seem to have lost my very special trolls. This saddens me in a twisted way. I guess I was too hard on them in this post. I suppose it was too much to ask for a reasoned, on subject argument. These liberals, they give up way too easily. They will not fight for their country, their rights, their beliefs, or even in a comment thread. We have raised a generation of quitters and losers. Again, see the links above.

Life, it gets in the way of our hobbies sometimes. It seems my normal reading list of blogs is in a funk, many of you are no longer posting on a regular basis. Get with the program, I need to be entertained. At least have decency to put a post up saying you are taking time off. YOU know to whom I refer.

I made lasagna last night. As always, mostly from scratch, except the pasta. The oven-ready lasagna noodles are a terrific time saver. Try it.

The house maintains that clinging garlic smell yet this morning. I cannot say it is displeasing. I had a piece of left-over garlic bread with my OJ and coffee this morning. I will another with my reheated lasagna for lunch today.

Fried Spam yesterday, lasagna today. It is sure good to be me.

At least that is what I keep telling myself...

January 28, 2007

Weekend Funny

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a Indianapolis Park when a crazed
Rottweiler suddenly attacks one of the boys.
Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his hockey stick, shoves it under
the dog's collar, twists it
and breaks the dog's neck, saving his friend.

A reporter is standing by, sees the incident, and rushes over to
interview the boy.
"Young Colts Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in
his notebook.
"But I'm not a Colts fan," the little boy replies.
"Sorry, but since we're in Indianapolis , I just assumed you were," says
the
reporter and starts writing again.
"Pacer Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he writes in his
notebook.
"But I'm not a Pacers fan either," the little boy replies.
"Sorry, but since we're in Indianapolis , I just assumed you were," says
the
reporter and starts writing again.
"Indianapolis Indian Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he writes in his
notebook.
"I'm not a Indians fan either," says the boy. "Oh... I assumed everyone in
Indianapolis was either for the Colts, Pacers or Indians.
What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.
"I'm a Chicago Bears fan," the boy replies.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes:

"Little Bastard From Chicago Kills Beloved Family Pet"
GO Colts!

January 27, 2007

Changes

There have been a lot of changes in my life the past year. As these different winds blow through my life, I realize I need to be more kind, more accommodating to my fellow man. Instead of getting angry at the "press two for Spanish" recordings, I realize I need to embrace diversity. I can learn from my fellow man.

In this new multicultural spirit I have converted my Wordpress Blog into a Spanish version, so my friends from the South can enjoy my wit and wisdom.

Go here to read the Spanish Version of this site Grasa en Indiana

January 26, 2007

The new Superbowl, uh, shuffle?


This is the guy that will lead da Bears to victory? Does that look like a smile on his face?


h/t: Otter

Even sick, I am superior

I am sick. I have had a cold for three days. My head feels like the guy in Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb. Last night I woke shivering with cold. Later I was burning up.

Most of you would probably have gone to the hospital if you felt as bad as I. Just kidding, that is a joke I have with my wife, when she calls men wimps when they get sick. Yes and Yes, I say. Her jibes do not change the fact I feel like warmed over turds. I could not even bring myself to read last night.

Between not feeling well, and the constant internet interruptions, I have not had time to kick my multi-personality troll Angela in an appropriate fashion. She/he uses the old debating tactic of arguing about peripheral issues rather than the main argument. She does this because she knows she cannot win the debate on the merits of her position. As exhibit A I use the Foley post below. I stated that ONE of the issues that hurt the Republicans in the last election was the media's incessant hammering on the Foley scandal. There were other issues as well, some of them more significant. Yet all Angela was to harp on is that there were other causes of the Republican defeat. I offer a resounding "so?". Unless you want to argue that the Foley scandal had NOTHING to due with the Dimocrit takeover, your arguments are a waste of time, Angela, and you discredit your whole case.

I do not mind interesting debate, but resorting to race baiting and insults is not productive discussion. Prove the Democrats and the willing Press are not hypocrites, or concede my point. Anything else exposes you as the shallow person you are.


update:

If you
have not seen this you need to, it will make your weekend complete. Trust me.

Friday Funny

Tom Brady , after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God
was showing him around.

They came to a modest little house with a faded Patriots flag in the
window

"Tom," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up
here."

Tom felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the
porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story
mansion with a blue and white sidewalk, a 50-foot tall flagpole with an
enormous Colts logo flag, and in every window, an Indianapolis Colts
towel.

Tom looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I
have a question. I was an all-pro QB who won the Super Bowl, and I even
went to the Hall of Fame."

God said "So what's your point Tom?"

"Well, why does Peyton Manning get a better house than me?"

God chuckled, and said: Tom, that's not Peyton's house, it's mine."


Go Blue!!

Customer Service is dead.

Well, my Internet connection continues to be a hit or miss proposition. Comcast can only tell me they hare having "service interruptions". No kidding, I spent 38 minutes on hold to have you point out the obvious?

Comcast did send me information on how to contact a troubleshooting representative, live and ON LINE, the next time I am having issues with my high speed internet. Let me see if I can understand this, the next time the internet goes down I should visit their website for technical help?

I had a similar issue with my mortgage company this week. I received my 1098 and they had my interest payments wrong. I called the number for the mortgage company (of course it was someone in India). I said the form was wrong. He told me he would get a duplicate copy for me, did I need anything else. I told him the form was wrong. He said they would send me another copy. I asked him how they calculated the interest. He did not know, but would have accounting send me another copy of the form 1098. I said I do not want another copy of the damn form, I want a corrected form. He told me his screen showed I paid xxx in interest (the same as my wrong 1098). I said I know what your screen says, it is wrong. He said he could have it recalculated! Finally. Anyone want to take bets I get a duplicate 1098, the same as the one I already have that is incorrect?

January 25, 2007

Moral High Ground

One of the reasons the Dimocritters gained control of Congress was the relentless media hammering of the Senate leadership over Mark Foley. If you do not remember your "outrage" Senator Foley sent Emails propositioning 18 year old male pages. There is no evidence he had any contact at all. Foley resigned and the Republican leadership was hounded by Democrats and the media. The majority leaders were encouraged to step down since they knew about this terrible behavior and did nothing.

It has happened again, a Senator has actually slept in a motel room in the same bed with an 18 year old male page. The page alleges there was sexual contact, the Senator claims he was just sleeping with the boy as if he were a family member or a nephew (eyeww). The Senate has known about this contact for some time. Where are the front page headlines? Where are the calls for resignation? Where are the suggestions the Democrat leadership resign? Angela, maybe you and your multiple personalities would like weigh in on this one?

By the way, if you have not yet figured it out, the Senator in Question is a Democrat, Dan Sutton from South Dakota. I guess is OK to try and diddle boys if you are of the correct political party. I guess it is OK to take bribes and keep your office if you in the right political party (Rep Jefferson, your freezer is full of cash!).

OK, Angela, now I put in a reference to person of color, so now I guess you can accuse me of wearing Klan robes. I also mentioned diddling little boys, so I guess that makes me homophobic, too. Did I cover it all, or should I confess that I also hate hippies and commies and smug little assholes.

Go Colts

As I watch the Colts I realize they are formidable offensive weapon. I am convinced they cannot be stopped. Manning Harrison, Wayne and the running back duo of Rhodes and Addai are hard to stop. One key contributor that makes the offense go Is Dallas Clark. This versatile tight end rarely gets the credit he deserves. The AFC has some excellent tight ends, but I maintain Clark is their equal in many ways. He might not get the pro bowl votes, but I guarantee the Bears are worrying about him.

He is a good blocker. When he lines up in the slot he causes match up problems for the defense. While he lacks Brandon Stockley's blazing speed in the slot receiver position, his size and pass catching ability means he must be covered by a linebacker, leaving the middle open to dump routes.

Lets hear it for Dallas Clark, HB's Colt of the day.

January 24, 2007

Who ya votin' for?

Keep this in mind if you think having the Clintons back in the White House is a good thing:

1 - James McDougal - Clinton's convicted Whitewater partner died of an apparent heart attack, while in solitary confinement. He was a key witness in Ken Starr's investigation.



2 - Mary Mahoney - A former White House intern was murdered July 1997 at a Starbucks Coffee Shop in Georgetown. The murder happened just after she was to go public with her story of sexual harassment in the White House.



3 - Vince Foster - Former white House councilor, and colleague of Hillary Clinton at Little Rock's Rose Law firm. Died of a gunshot wound to the head, ruled a suicide.



4 - Ron Brown - Secretary of Commerce and former DNC Chairman. Reported to have died by impact in a plane crash. A pathologist close to the investigation reported that there was a hole in the top of Brown's skull resembling a gunshot wound. At the time of his death Brown was being investigated, and spoke publicly of his willingness to cut a deal with prosecutors.



5 - C. Victor Raiser II and Montgomery Raiser, Major players in the Clinton fund raising organization died in a private plane crash in July 1992.



6 - Paul Tulley - Democratic National Committee Political Director found dead in a hotel room in Little Rock, September 1992...Described by Clinton as a "Dear friend and trusted advisor."



7- Ed Willey - Clinton fund raiser, found dead November 1993 deep in the woods in VA of a gunshot wound to the head. Ruled a suicide. Ed Willey died on the same day his wife Kathleen Willey claimed Bill Clinton groped her in the oval office in the White House. Ed Willey was involved in several Clinton fund raising events.



8 - Jerry Parks - Head of Clinton's gubernatorial security team in Little Rock. Gunned down in his car at a deserted intersection outside Little Rock. Park's son said his father was building a Dossier on Clinton. He allegedly threatened to reveal this information. After he died the files were mysteriously removed from his house.



9 - James Bunch - Died from a gunshot suicide. It was reported that he had a "Black Book" of people which contained names of influential people who visited prostitutes in Texas and Arkansas.



10 - James Wilson - Was found dead in May 1993 from an apparent hanging suicide. He was reported to have ties to Whitewater.



11- Kathy Ferguson, ex-wife of Arkansas Trooper Danny Ferguson, was found dead in May 1994, in her living room with a gunshot to her head.



It was ruled a suicide even though there were several Packed suitcases, as if she were going somewhere. Danny Ferguson was a co-defendant along with Bill Clinton in the Paula Jones lawsuit. Kathy Ferguson was a possible corroborating Witness for Paula Jones.



12 - Bill Shelton - Arkansas State Trooper and fiancee of Kathy Ferguson. Critical of the suicide ruling of his fiancee, he was found dead in June, 1994 of a gunshot wound also ruled a suicide at the grave site of his fiancee.



13 - Gandy Baugh - Attorney for Clinton's friend Dan Lassater, died by jumping out a window of a tall building January, 1994. His client was a convicted drug distributor



14 - Florence Martin - Accountant & sub-contractor for the CIA, was related to the Barry Seal Mena Airport drug smuggling case. He died of three gunshot wounds.



15 - Suzanne Coleman - Reportedly had an affair with Clinton when he was Arkansas Attorney General. Died of a gunshot wound to the back of the head, ruled a suicide. Was pregnant at the time of her death.



16 - Paula Grober - Clinton's speech interpreter for the deaf from

1978 until her death December 9, 1992. She died in a one car accident.



17 - Danny Casolaro - Investigative reporter. Investigating Mean Airport and Arkansas development Finance Authority. He slit his wrists, apparently, in the middle of his investigation.



18 - Paul Wilcher - Attorney investigating corruption at Mena Airport with Casolaro and the 1980 "October Surprise" was found dead on a toilet June 22, 1993 in his Washington DC apartment. Had delivered a

report to Janet Reno three weeks before his death.



19 - Jon Parnell Walker - Whitewater investigator for Resolution Trust Corp. Jumped to his death from his Arlington, Virginia apartment balcony August15, 1993. He was investigating the Morgan Guarantee scandal.



20 - Barbara Wise - Commerce Department staffer. Worked closely with Ron Brown and John Huang. Cause of death unknown. Died November 29, 1996. Her bruised, nude body was found locked in her office at the Department of Commerce.



21- Charles Meissner - Assistant Secretary of Commerce who gave John Huang special security clearance, died shortly thereafter in a small plane crash.



22 - Dr. Stanley Heard - Chairman of the National Chiropractic Health Care Advisory Committee, died with his attorney Steve Dickson in a small plane crash. Dr. Heard, in addition to serving on Clinton's advisory council personally treated Clinton's mother, stepfather and brother.



23 - Barry Seal - Drug running pilot out of Mena Arkansas, death was no accident.



24 - Johnny Lawhorn Jr. - Mechanic, found a check made out to Bill Clinton in the trunk of a car left at his repair shop. He was found dead after his car had hit a utility pole.



25 - Stanley Huggins - Investigated Madison Guarantee. His death was a purported suicide and his report was never released.



26- Hershell Friday - Attorney and Clinton fund raiser died March 1, 1994 when his plane exploded.



27 - Kevin Ives and Don Henry - Known as "The boys on the track" case. Reports say the boys may have stumbled upon the Mean Arkansas airport drug operation. A controversial case, the initial report of death said, due to falling asleep on railroad tracks. Later reports claim the two boys had been slain before being placed on the tracks. Many linked to the case died before their testimony could come before a Grand Jury.



THE FOLLOWING PERSONS HAD INFORMATION ON THE IVES/HENRY CASE:



28 - Keith Coney - Died when his motorcycle slammed into the back of a truck, July 1988.



29 - Keith McMaskle - Died stabbed 113 times, Nov, 1988



30 - Gregory Collins - Died from a gunshot wound January 1989.



31 - Jeff Rhodes - He was shot, mutilated and found burned in a trash dump in April 1989.



32 - James Milan - Found decapitated. However, the Coroner ruled his death was due to "natural causes."



33 - Jordan Kettleson - Was found shot to death in the front seat of his pickup truck in June 1990.



34 - Richard Winters - A suspect in the Ives / Henry deaths. He was killed in a set-up robbery July 1989.



THE FOLLOWING CLINTON BODYGUARDS ARE DEAD:



35 - Major William S. Barkley Jr.

36 - Captain Scott J. Reynolds

37 - Sgt. Brian Hanley

38 - Sgt. Tim Sabel

39 - Major General William Robertson

40 - Col. William Densberger

41 - Col. Robert Kelly

42 - Spec. Gary Rhodes

43 - Steve Willis

44 - Robert Williams

45 - Conway LeBleu

46 - Todd McKeehan

Return of the beast

After nearly two days without Internet, I am finally back. I am so far behind at work you cannot imagine. More posts when I get time. Thank you for your indulgence.

January 22, 2007

Indiana Cows

The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people did
some research and found they could buy a cow up in Indiana, for $200.00.

They bought the cow from Indiana and the cow was wonderful. It Produced lots
of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows
like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.
However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away.

No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the
bull and he could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise,
what to do.

They told the Vet what was happening. "Whenever the bull approaches our cow,
she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he
approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and
she walks away to the other side."

The Vet thinks about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow in
Indiana?"

The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they
bought the cow.

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in
Indiana?"

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye,

"My wife is from Indiana."

Blue Monday

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a New England
Patriots fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Pats
fans too. Not really knowing what a Pats fan was, but wanting to be liked
by their teacher, their hands fly into the air.

There is, however, one exception. Susie has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not
a patriot fan" she reports.

"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"
"I'm a Indinapolis colts fan" boasts the little girl. The teacher asks
Susie why she is a Colts fan. "Well, my Dad and Mom are Colts fans, so I'm
a Colts fan too" she responds.

"That's no reason," the teacher says. "What if your mom was a moron, and
your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?"

Susie smiles and says, "Then I'd be a New England Patriots fan."

--otter

January 21, 2007

Snow, snow, snow

With apologies to Rosemary Cloony, I am singing about snow right now. Winter has finally arrived. We have a couple of inches on the ground and snow is still gently falling.

The weather conditions for the big game? In Indianapolis I predict seventy degrees and so loud your fucking head will ache. Good luck to the announcers trying to point out the obvious at the beginning of the game over the crowd noise. I am not sure if you have heard, Peyton Manning has not yet won a Superbowl. He will never be complete as a human until then, I hear. I guess he is some kind of superman, playing games one against eleven every week. The shitty defense had nothing to do with past Playoff loses in New England. And to think, I though football was a team game.

Indy 20, New England 17.

It is good to see Otter return to the comments. He also sent me some jokes that will make their way to these pages.

I am going to a football party this evening to watch the Colts play. The hosts have been very particular about the invitees, they only want people there who will WATCH THE GAME. I only agreed to go when this fact was brought to light. I will prepare nacho dip, little weinies, and a fruit pizza to contribute to the fare.

It looks like the Hildebeast is joining Obamarama in the Quest for Power. If you want to be President why do you need to form an exploratory committee? Good god, if you begin your quest with a decision by committee what does that say for your decision making skills? Either you want to be Pres, or you do not. Run or not. Farookin committees, indeed. If you think either of these potential Dimocrit hopefuls are qualified could you let me know in what way? Being a person of color (whatever that means) or having remarkable luck in the cattle futures market do not count. I will make this not-so-bold prediction, If the Hildebeast gets the nomination, you will see a Republican voter turnout of unprecedented proportions. She cannot be elected, she has too much baggage, and I am not talking about under the eyes.

Of course I do not mind civic discourse, but I am done with assholes in the comments. As I stated before, push me.

January 20, 2007

Dear Miami Dolphins

Cam Cameron was once head coach of the hapless Indiana Hoosiers. He took a mediocre team at best and turned it into a laughing stock. His tenure so wrecked the program it has taken years to even get it moving in the right direction. I am no Hoosier fan, and as an outsider I could see he was a bad head coach. Did you address that with him?

Just wondering.

Obama so longa

It looks like someone owes Big Dick an apology. Where are you, Buck?

Read what the Hoosier Illuminati has to say. I guess Obama really is a Muslim.

January 19, 2007

Bow down to Guy.

There is wisdom in those words. Read and agree.

Pygmy Sex

That remains the number one search term that gets you here. Some of you are sick mofos.

I am done with you trolls. It was fun for about ten minutes. You have been warned. Push me. Please.

Remind me to tell you the tale of how I was nearly killed Wednesday on the Dan Ryan.

Lots of work to do today, so this is all you get for now.

The last Friday Five brought a ton of comments (and assholes), let us try this one:

Name the five best live bands you have seen.

January 17, 2007

Physics and a long day

Travelling with the boss this week. Left home at 4:45 am. Got to the hotel at 9:30 pm. -- enough said. I got nothing, other than I see my site continues to attract assholes like a big old turd magnet. I am not sure how this has happened.

Have I defied the laws of nature, does like finally attract like here at Fat in Indiana?

January 16, 2007

Dear Tucker

I have not seen you for a few days. I hope you are not still "made" at me for making a spelling mistake. I was wondering how you chose the name "Tucker". Is it because you like to take your tiny little penis and tuck 'er between your thighs so it looks like you have a pussy?

Just wondering.

I won

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(Lottery Co-ordination)

This is the fifth international lottery I have won this week. I have some time to claim this one, until the 30th of Febuary [sic]!

I have sent my bank and credit card info to them. I also included a power of attorney, just in case something came up. See you in the Riviera!

Just Before the Battle, Mother

I downed the last of my coffee and spat out a few stray dregs into the grass. I picked up my rifle and checked the load. I checked my belt, plenty of spare ammo, canteen, knife. I was ready. I put on my hat and buckled the belt tighter, I did not want things moving when I went into action.

I set my mind on the task at hand, no mercy, just fight to the end. I told myself I have done this before, I will do it again. There are always assholes to slay.

I entered into Haloscan ready to battle assholes and nitwits only to find the ground strewn with bodies. "You are late again, Hoosierboy", a voice said. I spun on my heels ready for attack. Big Dick looked at me with a manic grin. He lifted the bottle of Tequila in a silent toast and flicked away the stub of his cigarette. A bloody, double-edged machete lie on the ground next to him. He laughed and said "You attract some strange enemies, boy. Too bad they are all pussies that run at the first sign of a fight."

I relaxed and held out my hand. A quick shake was followed by a hit from the bottle. I pulled out a cigar and lit it up. I proffered another to Dick. Rich smoke drifted away and mingled with the copper-sweet smell of blood. We laughed and wondered what tomorrow would bring. We both knew assholes and dickwads grow like weeds, there are always more...

January 15, 2007

Manic Monday

I hate that song.

Rain. The creek is about to leap its banks. The meadow beyond sports standing water in several places.

A customer left his cell phone in my car Friday. I will return it today. It is a nice Blackberry, think he will notice if I swap phones with him?

Travelling with the boss this week. I will have to up my game a little I guess. Note to self -- do not flick boogies toward the passenger seat when said passenger does your evaluation.

It would be nice to get laid this week.

Man, I expected argument in the comments of the post about guitarists, but some of you are jerks. I have apparently gained some new readers in recent weeks, and some of you guys are real dickheads. i will say this, you better bring a stronger game if you want to claim Lincoln was our greatest President.

It is MLK Day. Great man, but not worthy of a National Holiday. Washington, Lincoln, TR, Reagan, even FDR did more to make America what it is today. How the so-called leaders of the black community can stand tall today when they have corrupted MLK's dream is beyond me. How do quotas, and reparations, and welfare generations, and the united Negro College Fund speak to a color blind society? Fuck you Al Sharpton, Jessie Jackson, and Louie Farakhan, race baiters and haters and corrupt bottom feeders getting rich from the suffering of the very people they hold down.

January 14, 2007

Mr. Wizard

Bring this turtle home, the world is topsy-turvey.

Sixty degrees in January. No snow all winter. Dems in charge. Peyton has become Eli. The Colts defense has become the Bears. The Colts play a hard physical game on both sides of the ball. I am not sure what drugs I am taking but they are good.

As we were watching the old Colts/new Colts game last night my wife makes a great comment about "money" kicker Adam Vinetari. "Why would New England get rid of him?", she asked. Now I will draw no conclusions about the fact this question was asked not after one of his five field goals, but rather after the network ran an AT&T commercial showing Adam and his house. I make this projection -- the Patriots are going to rue the day they let him go, during these playoffs.

A pundit in the Baltimore Sun actually wrote this morning that Baltimore can never let go of the Colts until they knock Indy from the payoffs. As I have stated here before, just let it go, dude. 2015, the big year when the Colts will have been in Indy longer than they were in Baltimore, will that be long enough? The ragheads have not forgotten the cornholing they took from the Knight Templars about a century ago (maybe they remember 'cause they liked it?), so I guess if I lived in a corrupt Dimocrat-controlled hellhole like Baltimore I would fixate on an event that happened a generation ago also. So that I can understand the Baltimore angst I am going to dedicate my life to reliving the Cubs collapse in the playoffs to the Padres more than two decades ago. Damn you evil Padres in your ice cream vendor shirts!

January 13, 2007

Are you big enough for this ride?



As always, click to embiggen


Submitted by Otter

January 12, 2007

Return of the Friday Five

I expect some arguments in the comments. Do not disappoint me.

Name the five greatest guitarists.

This will be influenced by your musical tastes and generation.

Here is a starter in no particular order:

Clapton
Steve Howe
Stevie Ray Vaughn
Jimmie Page
Jeff Beck
Chet Atkins
Eddie Van Halen
Joe Satriani
Muddy Waters
Hendrix


I reserve the right to add to the list with an "Oh yeah, I forgot about..."

Dear Baltimore II

For God's sake if everyone of you tired motherfuckers that are irreparably harmed by the Colts moving form your corrupt city TWENTY THREE YEARS AGO would have bought tickets to the games, the Colts would still be there. Like Woodstock, the legend just grows. There were only 20,000 people at the last game, if you loved your fucking Colts so much why didn't you support them?

Get over it, assholes. Oh, and will you be apologizing to Cleveland this week?

Here is something to fuel your nightmares:

January 11, 2007

The secret of who dies in the next Harry Potter

Here is who dies in the next installment of Harry Potter due out soon:


Hell if I know.


She does not know either.


33906 at 11:43am

A little remorse would be nice

Can you believe this?

What the Hell is wrong with these kids?

The one hit was one of the little one's best friends.

At least the cops are throwing the book at the jerk. I hope the Prosecutor adds charges of attempted manslaughter. The little asshole should get his drivers licence suspended for at least ten years in my opinion.

Too Bad there is no crime to charge the riders also.
A 15-year-old female student who was in the car had a negative tone when she told police, "Every day, the middle school students are walking in the middle of the road!" the report said.

"She said that (the 16-year-old) drove up and tapped the horn, and then the pedestrian turned and raised up his hands," the report said. "Then (he) drove on and hit one student as all four occupants in the car laughed."


In case the link goes away (From the Shelbyville [IN] News):

A 16-year-old Shelbyville High School student has been charged with a felony after he allegedly mowed down a 13-year-old middle school student Monday afternoon with his car - which broke the boy's leg in two places - and then fled the scene.

Because both boys are juveniles, their names are not being released.

The incident happened in the Clearview subdivision at 2:56 p.m. after school had let out. According to the police report, the high school student was driving a passenger car on Premier Street, with three other youths in the vehicle, when he came upon a group of students walking in the road. The street has no sidewalks.

One witness told police that the car rushed toward the group. "(The witness) said everyone moved out of the way by moving to the right, with most of the students walking in the grass or on the curb, with (the 13-year-old) walking about three feet from the curb," the report said.

The car got right up on the 13-year-old, but he didn't move any farther to the right because there were no other cars in sight anywhere, and there was plenty of room for the car to go around, the witness said.

A 15-year-old female student who was in the car had a negative tone when she told police, "Every day, the middle school students are walking in the middle of the road!" the report said.

"She seemed to imply that if the middle school students get hit by a car, it is their fault," said Shelbyville police officer Michael McCracken's report.

"She said that (the 16-year-old) drove up and tapped the horn, and then the pedestrian turned and raised up his hands," the report said. "Then (he) drove on and hit one student as all four occupants in the car laughed."

A 14-year-old male witness said that the driver got right behind the 13-year-old, revved up his engine and blasted the horn. The witness said that the driver hit the boy with the right front of his car, knocking him to the ground. Then, the car drove two driveways farther south, dropped off the female passenger, backed out and drove past the group quickly.

The victim was rolling back and forth, screaming at times with pain, a 13-year-old female witness told police.

Minutes later, Shelbyville police pulled over the driver on South Harrison Street as he was turning onto Van Street. The boy told police that he had just dropped off a friend in Clearview. He admitted to hitting the 13-year-old.

"I asked (the driver) why he did not stop when he hit the kid," patrolman Shawn Bennett wrote in his report. "He said he saw the kid rolling around in the road but thought he was playing."

McCracken said he arrived at Premier Street just after the paramedics who said the victim had "considerable pain and swelling already."

Both the tibia and fibia bones of the victim's lower right leg were broken, McCracken said. The boy was treated at Major Hospital's emergency room and was scheduled to meet with an orthopedic surgeon. He may have to have surgery, said Shelbyville Police Chief Bill Elliott.

"The most disturbing facts are witnesses testified this was intentional and not an accident, and immediately afterward (the driver) and his passengers laughed," McCracken said. "(The driver) stated to officer Bennett that he said to one of his passengers, 'He should have got out of my way.'"

The driver was charged with criminal recklessness, a Class D felony, and leaving the scene of a serious personal injury accident, which was not classified on the report. He was also charged with a probationary license violation for having three passengers in the car. Blood and urine specimens were taken.

The 16-year-old was transported to the Johnson County Juvenile Detention Center in Franklin on Monday. Elliott said a judge released him on Tuesday, but no further information could be gathered from officials at the center since the boy is a juvenile.

There was no answer at the home of the victim's parents Tuesday night.

Gravitas

Hey, do you remember when GW Bush was running for President? He owned a baseball team, ran an oil company and been Governor of one of the largest states. Still the Democrats claimed he was a light weight, he lacked gravitas (remember the Rush montage of a dozen talking Democrat heads all using this same word?). They claimed his lack of foreign policy and Federal experience made him unsuited for the job of President.

Seriously, can someone tell me what experience qualifies Barack Obama to be President? How does a partial term in the Senate make him an expert on anything? Please help me with this one.

O hope to get the second part of my WWII post up soon. maybe Saturday at the latest (if you care).

January 10, 2007

One more reason to NEVER shop at Target


Go read this story at Big Dick's Place. I will wait. tapatap.


There you see, not only is Target trying to make a thief out of a wonderful woman, they are trying their best to girlyfy a good man. Thongs are for pussies, period. Now, I am sure there are some "men" in San Francisco or in the Democrat Party that are all for wearing baby blue man thongs. We do not need Target's help in pussyfying the American Male. Did the Duke wear a thong? Hell no, and I ain't gonna wear one either. If you wear a man-thong get the hell off this page and do not come back. Narrow-minded ? Sure I am, I just roll that way when it comes to man thongs.

It is time we take back our country, no more WWJD, we need to ask ourselves WWTDD (What Would the Duke Do). That, my friends is the standard to live by.

Male thongs, indeed.

Dear Baltimore


I know many of you grew up watching the Colts. I know you relish the days when Johnny U and the boys ruled the NFL. I get it, the Great Mayflower Move tore your guts out. It was nearly TWENTY-three F'ING YEARS AGO.

You stole a team from Cleveland. You won a Super Bowl with that team. Now is the time to let go of the past and embrace what you have, namely a very good football team. This game is about the now, not the past.

The Baltimore Colts played their first season in 1953. They left in 1984, if my history major math is correct that is 31 years. The Colts have been in Indy for 23 years. Do you think that in the next couple of years we could quit hearing your whine and cry about Indy having "your team"? Is there nothing else in your pathetic corrupt city to complain about? For god's sake I saw on the news there is a museum in Baltimore dedicated to the Colts move to Indianapolis.

Football is a business. Businesses move all the time for lots of reasons, mostly economic. Do you think if you would have bought more tickets, invested in the team, they might have stayed? You cry they are gone, is that just guilt because you did little to keep the Colts in Baltimore? Old man Irsay might have been the world's biggest asshole, but forcing the son to hire bodyguards to come to Baltimore because of a BUSINESS decision made 23 YEARS ago, is crazy.

Get over it already. Gosh, I hold a grudge, but this is nuts.

January 9, 2007

You old Geezers, you know it all...

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.

The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.

The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.

The 87 year old said "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, "Do you have any rye bread?"

She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I want 5 loaves.

She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves...by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard"

He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody in the world knows about this shit but me."

That is an asswhipping

Ohio State got whipped. I have mixed feelings my joy at seeing those pompous assholes defeated is marred by the idea it was Florida that did it. I am so sick of hearing about the mighty SEC in football or the ACC in basketball. I wonder what would happen if the game had been played in early November, immediately at the season's end. Both teams had a long layoff, but Ohio State looked more than a bit rusty. Mostly, to be honest, I did not care and only watched snippets of the game. Instead I reread about 1/2 of a Aubry/ Maturin novel (#4 if you are curious). I really do not give a fig about college football.

Last night I fixed breaded pork tenderloin and homemade mac and cheese for supper. Tonight we had spaghetti.

It is 1:24 am, I cannot sleep. I have about 5 hours of driving and some serious negotiating to do tomorrow. I am not concerned, I just have a hard time sleeping anymore. I am dumbfounded there are people in my company pissed off because a customer has exceeded his forecast by some 100%. These are mostly manufacturing people. I know the problems this causes, I used to be a master scheduler, but at some level shouldn't someone be grateful this guy's business is booming? I love business!

I am off, I will drink a glass of OJ and try to go to sleep. Learn something.

January 8, 2007

Monday Musings

I discovered blogs about six months before I started my own. I began by reading Vox after reading his column in WND. From his links I moved to others. The Grouchy Old Cripple caught my attention, and I moved on from him to the DuToits. I have enjoyed the musings of both for more than two years now. Mrs. DuToit is more of an essayist. She is on and off blogging based on her work load and the intrusions of life. On Friday she had an interesting post where she tried to describe herself. Since I am always quick to steal a good idea I thought I would take a stab at a similar project.

I will be 45 in March. I have blue eyes. I wear glasses and they are bifocals, the no-line type. I have had them for two years and I hate every second of every minute having to wear them. Too much computer, too much reading have left my eyesight poor. I am over weight. I am short (5'9). I have dark thick hair turning gray on the sides. My hair is short and parted on the left. My left foot is a whole size larger than my right.

I have a wife. I love her more than life itself, except those days where I spend hours trying figure out ways to kill her and get away with it. Just kidding. We have been married for more than 22 years. She is my best friend. I am sure I piss her off on a regular basis. I am stubborn and argumentative. I am firm in my righteousness.

I have three kids. A daughter 20, is a sophomore in college. I have a son 18 who is a senior in high school. I also have a son who is 13 and in the seventh grade. They are each my pride and joy. They are good kids. I try hard to be a good parent and sometimes I succeed, more often than not I am lousy at it. I find it amazing you have to have a licence to drive a car, but you can mold a child in anyway you see fit- without any training at all. I am too hard on my kids, my expectations too high.

I am a closet perfectionist. I inherited my mother's attitude that nothing is done right unless I do it myself. I expect perfection from my kids, they cannot live up to it, and they resent me I think for that. I wish I could change.

I am a salesman. I never wanted to be a salesman. I guess I am good at it, I have been pretty successful for a long time. I went in to that field for the money. I am not sure I have the desire to do something different at this stage of my life. I want to work hard and I give my best for the company. I no longer have the burning desire to run the company to be the boss. I want to do a good job and collect my pay. I have been a boss, a supervisor and I think I was pretty good. My employees all seemed to give me high marks. In my first job as a manager I was Customer Service Supervisor. My employees were in the forties and fifties. I was 29. Try that sometime. I was once told by a manger I was not a great strategic thinker, but I was the best tactical thinker he had ever met. I am still not sure if I was insulted or complimented. I will say he was one of the worst managers I ever worked for so I discount his analysis on mere principle.


I have had the good fortune to travel all over the world in my job. I have been to Europe a dozen times and most of these United States. I loved travelling, I missed my family. I travel much less these days, I average about one night a week away from home. I like that, but miss some of the more interesting ports of call.

I can cook. I am not a chef. I can make comfort food, I can make semi-gourmet meals. I am a firm believer if you can read, you can cook. With practice you can make more complicated meals. The hardest part about cooking is making everything get done at the same time. I take great pride in my ability to do that. I do 99.9% of the cooking at my house. I enjoy it, and I am better at it. That is not a reflection on my wife, rather an indication of my ability. I learned to cook a little from my Mom and little from the Boy Scouts. I was fortunate to be a Scout back in the day when they actually camped, and hiked and canoed. I am an Eagle Scout.

I have a degree from Wabash College. I was by no means the smartest guy there. I studied hard, and partied harder. I learned a little, had a lot of fun. I have probably taught myself as much or more than I learned in any formal education. I enjoy the study of history. I have probably forgotten more historical information than most people learn in a lifetime. That is more a comment on my aging memory than an indictment of your education. That my memory is now failing me saddens me. I once could recite whole passages from books after one reading. I firmly believe education is a life long process and the only stupid question is the one you do not ask. "Why" is the most powerful word in the English language. We should all use it a little more often.

I am Conservative in my political leanings. I have very definite Divine beliefs, I am a Christian. I also believe what you believe is your own business. I agree not to ram my beliefs down your throat and I expect the same from you. I have come to the conclusion that anything the ACLU is against must be a good thing. I do not understand how those on the left cannot look around the world and see that Liberalism and Socialism have failed everywhere they have been tried. It all sounds so good on paper and fails miserably in the real world. Show me I am wrong.

I cannot carry a tune, and I cannot remember lyrics. I can usually tell you the name of a song and the artist with just a few notes. I love old music. I am stuck in the seventies for the most part, musically. I like Sinatra, too. I used to play the trombone, but after 25 years I doubt I can even read music any more. I cannot dance. I used to speak French, but now I can just utter phrases in a half dozen languages. I can tell a joke. Many people can't. If you tell me a joke I will remember two.

I possess no unique skills. I am not a mechanic, carpenter or plumber. I can make very basic home repairs. I can drink a lot of beer, I cannot hold hard liquor. I occasionally enjoy a nice cigar. I was smoking them long before it became cool back in the 1990's. I am a very poor speller and I cannot type without looking at the keyboard. I am right handed.

I was never much of an athlete. I have been a coach with some success.

I have made some money and I have made lots of bad financial decisions. I am basically honest, I will return to the cashier any extra change she might give me as quickly as I would complain if I am overcharged. I always tip at least 15%, and I never stiff the delivery guy.

Now you know me. I am as plain and boring as anyone. I am incredibly average. It took me a long time to come to grips with that.

That is a tiny glimpse at the man behind the curtain here at Fat in Indiana. A boring post, I am sure.

Who are you?

January 7, 2007

An oldie but a goodie

Two buddies, Bob and Larry, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Larry throws up all over himself.

"Oh, no... Now my wife will kill me!"

Bob says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and
Tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for The dry cleaning bill."

So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker. Eventually
Larry stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a bad time. "You reek
Of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself!

My God.....you're disgusting!"

Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, Larry says,
"Nowainaminit, I can e'splain everythin. Itsh snot what chew think. I only
Had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got ssick on me...he had one too
Many and he juss koudin hold hizz liquor He said hes was verrry sorry an'
Gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!"

His wife looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty bucks.."

"Oh, yeah... I almos' fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too."

January 6, 2007

A Hoosier in Hell

I think I need to post this one today:

A guy from Indiana dies and is sent to Hell. He had been a horrible man his entire life.

The devil puts him to work breaking up rocks with a sledge hammer. To make it worse, he cranks up the temperature and the humidity.

After a couple of days, the devil checks in on his victim to see if he is suffering adequately. The devil is aghast as the Hoosier is happily swinging his hammer and whistling a happy tune.

The devil walks up to him and says, "I don't understand this. I've turned the heat way up, it's humid, you're crushing rocks; why are you so happy?"

The man, with a big smile, looks at the devil and replies, "This is great! It reminds me of August in Indiana. Hot, humid, a good place to work. It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"

The devil, extremely perplexed, walks away to ponder the man's remarks. Then he decides to drop the temperature, send down a driving rain and torrential wind.

Soon, Hell is a wet, muddy mess. Walking in mud up to his knees with dust blowing into his eyes, the man is happily slogging through the mud pushing a wheelbarrow full of crushed rocks.

Again, the devil asks how he can be happy in such conditions. The man replies, "This is great! Just like April in Indiana. It reminds me of working out in the yard with spring planting!"

The devil is now completely baffled but more determined to make him suffer. He makes the temperature plummet.

Suddenly Hell is blanketed in snow and ice. Confident that this will surely make him unhappy, the devil checks in on him.

He is again aghast at what he sees. The man is dancing, singing, and twirling his sledgehammer as he cavorts in glee.

"How can you be so happy? Don't you know its 40 below zero!?" screams the devil.

Jumping up and down, he throws a snowball at the devil and yells,

"Hell's frozen over! This means the Colts won the Super Bowl!"

Patience, Donkey, Patience

I will get part two of my Operation Torch post up soon, probably Monday. I have misplaced my research notes, and I have to look a few things up. Most of the preceding post I did off the top of my head, but some names dates and the casualty figures are deep in the cranium somewhere and need to either be coaxed out or re-learned. This takes time. Since I refuse to use Wikipedia I have to look for other on-line sources and judge their reliability, or go to the library. What? You did not know Wikipedia is notoriously inaccurate and filled with utter bullshit? It is, and if you want to have a serious discussion here, do not quote it to me. I will laugh in your face. I want to also add, the previous post was just an overview to get to the real story, the behavior of the French leading up to and during Operation Torch. A lot of details are missing and a lot of history is glossed over. It was purposely lacking in detail. If you want more details, email me, or let me know in the comments and I will expound. I could write about this stuff every day for the next 20 years and not run out of stories.

History does not happen in a vacuum. No historical event is isolated. We cannot understand the history of WWII without understanding WWI and the Franco-Prussian war before that. To understand the enmity of the French to the English one has to go back a thousand years. Those nationalistic hatreds had a tremendous effect on how WWI was fought and how the French behaved in the beginning of WWII. Those ancient hostilities had a profound effect on the birth of this nation. For instance, if the British had not been forced to wage a war against France on the North American Continent, the Stamp Act and Townsend Laws would not have been passed (The King felt the Colonists should pay for their protection against the Indians and French). Without those acts there was no Tea Party, no Boston Massacre, no Lexington and Concord. Maybe there is no US? What happens if the French do not come to our aid in the Revolutionary War? History is circles within circles and that is why the subject fascinates me. Enough of that, either you love the subject or hate it. Blame your teachers in any case.

Today begins the real NFL season. Most experts are writing off the Colts. They have a shot at any game with that offense. I have to admit, my Grandma could run against that defense. LT deserves the most valuable player award his year. I have to ask, is the high level of play by Peyton Manning become an expectation? Would any other quarterback received so few votes for MVP after putting up the stats he did this year? Maybe only Brady is so overlooked. These are two of the greatest ever to play this position, and I think their outstanding ability is often just taken for granted. Only nine interceptions, ho hum. 4,000 yards passing, so what?

I am watching a cat stalk something near my storage barn. Maybe a mouse? It has finally stopped raining. The ground is saturated. At least it is not snow. Can you believe we are in the middle of January and the temperature is in the 50's? Save us algore!

My coffee is empty so I am off to get more and to read a little of your thoughts. Have a good weekend.

January 5, 2007

French Perfidy Part One.

Why are there trees planted along the Champs-Elysee? Because Germans like to march in the shade.
-- My German buddy Klemens.


In July of 1870 the French declared war on Prussia and the combined German States. The Germans responded by attacking France. In less than 2 months 2/3 of the country was conquered. The mighty French military had been destroyed in less than 8 weeks. Within 6 months Paris had fallen. France was completely defeated and more importantly, humiliated. By May of 1871, a treaty was signed. The French had lost wars before. Never before (not even at Agincourt)had they been shown to be so completely incompetent. A nation can take a lot. Shame is hard to forget. The French people reacted by forming a new Government. After delivering the military version of the schoolyard bully hat trick (wedgie/swirly/roast beef) the Germans went home taking the coal-rich French territories of Alsace and Lorraine with them. The French fumed and vowed to never forget.

It has been often cited that the primary cause of World War Two was World War One. History has clouded much of WWI. It was brutal and deadly. The Germans came perilously close to victory over the British and French troops. Only the influx of American troops turned the tide. The Americans did not fight long in the Great War, and the losses pale in comparison with the other combatants, but the role of America in the final outcome cannot be diminished. When it came time to fight the peace, France wanted to extract vengeance upon the German people. The humiliation of the Franco-Prussian war was still fresh in their collective memory. Veterans from that conflict were still alive. The treaty terms for the Germans were harsh. The resulting economic collapse of Germany gave the ground to support the rise of Hitler and the National Socialists. That is a subject for another post. But for a short time, the French got their revenge, and the return of Alsace and Lorraine.

On September 1, 1939 the German Army invaded Poland. Great Britain and France declared war against Germany two days later. The French placed the bulk of their armed forces into the line of forts and redoubts constructed along the Franco-German border. Called the Maginot Line, these emplacements were thought to be impregnable. The forts were built to guard France from another German invasion like they had suffered in the Franco-Prussian War and WWI.

Nobody's fool, the German High Command swept into France from the North through The Netherlands and Belgium, bypassing the Maginot line. They smashed French resistance and nearly captured a large portion of the British Army at Dunkirk. By June 22, 1940 France had signed an armistice with Germany. The French people reacted by forming a new government. Two-thirds of the country was "neutral" controlled by pro-German officials. This was the Vichy Government. The French had again been conquered by Germany in mere months. Who said history does not repeat itself.

Field Marshall Henri Phillipe Petain was chosen as the puppet leader of the Vichy Government. He was a hero from the Great War. Now he was old and glad to have whatever power he could grasp even if it came from the Germans.

Meanwhile, Germany and her allies, the Austrians, the Italians, the Japanese, and the French were on a roll. The British were fighting for their very survival. England was blasted around the clock by German bombers launched from France. The British were being pushed toward the Red Sea by Rommel's Afrika Korps. Things looked bleak as the war began its third year in mid-1941.

In 1941 two major mistakes were made by the Axis powers.

In June, Hitler turned on his ally in attacking Poland, the Baltic States and Norway -- The Soviet Union. The Nazis launched Operation Barbarossa and entered Russia in force. By December they had captured most of Eastern Russia and were moving on Moscow. The Soviets gained a mighty ally in old man winter. The Axis advance was stymied and manpower was rushed toward the Eastern Front.

Also in December of 1941 the Axis power of Japan decided to attack the one remaining wild card in the now nearly global conflict -- the (sort of) neutral United States of America. Hitler was said to be furious.

The Americans looked around the world and came to the correct conclusion the biggest threat to winning the war was in Europe where only Britain held on by their fingernails. The decision was taken to fight a holding action in the Pacific and shift most of the materiel and manpower to the European front.

The American commanders were convinced only by defeating the Germans in Germany would the war be won. They looked at the map and came to this conclusion -- I see England, I see France that is the line to kick Hitler in the seat of the pants. The British thought the best approach was through the underbelly of the Axis Powers -- North Africa, Italy. The Soviet Commies agreed, wanting the combined Americans / British to attack anywhere to help relieve some of the pressure on the Eastern Front. The British convinced the Americans that North Africa / Italy was the best strategy, and the US insisted they be given overall command of the operation. The Brits agreed, since we had the planes, the tanks, the manpower. Ike Eisenhower was placed in charge and Operation Torch was born.

Operation Torch detailed the landing of the Americans in North Africa in a three prong attack spreading from Morocco and Casablanca (did they drink at Rick's Cafe?) to Algiers. Who manned the shore defenses in these areas? You guessed it -- The French! Would they fight against us?

January 4, 2007

Oh God, I think I just creamed my shorts.

I just saw a trailer for a movie made from one of my all-time favorite books by one of my all-time favorite authors. The Bob Lee and Earl Swagger books are some of the best action/adventure you can read. The author is Stephen Hunter and if you have not read his stuff, you should.

I cannot wait, the trailer looks faithful to the book. I must get my old copies from storage and read them again!

Housekeeping

I have added a few new entries over there on the blogroll. Go visit, tell them I sent you.

The heater/AC fan in the Boy's car ('98 ford escort SE) seems to work intermittently. Some days it functions, most days it does not. In the warmer days he could roll down the window, but now that it is winter we have to get it fixed. A friend suggested it is likely a bad blower switch. For those of you mechanically inclined (Attention Og), does this seem reasonable, and how hard is it to replace said switch? My friend who can do work on cars said he will come and help me fix it tomorrow. I plan on going to buy the switch at lunch or after work. Before I waste the money on a switch does his diagnosis seem accurate?

Dear Darian, Part Deux

Well I guess my latest critic does not have any more to say. Too bad, I was just getting warmed up. Based on the comments, I think many of my regular readers were enjoying the fun also.

This site needs more excitement like that. I welcome those who want to attack me, debate me, insult me. It makes the day so enjoyable to put people in their proper place.

I notice a similar theme in the forum of public debate. When I am driving and listening to talk radio, there is a certain political persuasion that takes delight in jumping in, making insulting and accusatory remarks, then fleeing before they have to actually back up their words with facts. Funny, these are the same people who cut and ran from Vietnam, deserting our allies, and now propose a similar strategy in Iraq. I bet these were the kids on the playground who hit you from behind with a snowball, or sneered at you behind the local bully, a sycophantic coward to the end.

Yesterday is past and time to move on. Target will not play, Darian will not play, we have exhausted the Presidential loser debate. I believe nearly all agreed that Carter was/is/remains the worst President in recent memory. I am surprised Millard Fillmore and James Buchanan did not get more votes, but I am not one to judge (well, sure I am).

I did a load of laundry before work, and the dishwasher is now running. I made a pot of chili last night (you Texicans would have been disgusted I am sure). I will put a roast in the crockpot at lunch. Now I am off to do some important sales-type work. I need that bi-weekly paycheck.

January 3, 2007

Dear Darian

I was going to work some more on my WWII post, but in the end the entry will be critical of both the British and the French. I know you were most disturbed I was critical of Tar-jey, so let me know if it is OK to publish a post on that topic.

I went to your website to see what kind of materials you approved of, but it looks like you focus mainly on aspects of corporate life.

I guess I could talk about my days in the corporate cubicle farm. I could tell how the guy in the cubicle next me and I used to share jokes. We both knew just about every joke ever written, so we would sometimes just shout a punchline over the wall. Sometimes we would put a Post-it note with a punchline on the other guy's monitor screen if one of us was in the plant. I could tell you about the time I returned from vacation and they had moved my cubicle. It was just gone. Oh, my gosh, I better stop, my side hurts.

Anyway, this dumb country hick is searching in vain for a topic that meets with your approbation. I guess I will go to the back forty and shovel pig turds while I wait your response. I could drive the tractor down to the old general store to get some Red Man or Beech Nut (I like the wintergreen flavor). Shucks my picket fence needs painted too, I guess I better wait until the pump gets unfroze.

Darian, let me know what I should post next about. Gotta go, there is a bunch of city slickers canoeing down the river, one of them sure has a pretty mouth....

January 2, 2007

Target Responds!

Here is the response from Target:

Dear ***,

I'm sorry for any disappointment you may have experience at the Southport Target
store, but you need to have a receipt to receive a store credit for the items
received as gift.


No, if I had a receipt I would have asked for my money back. I expect a store credit when I do not have my receipt.

Target return and exchange policy has been established by our executive
officers. That's why we're unable to make exceptions to the established
guidelines. Our return guidelines require a receipt for any return, but we also
want you to have the chance to find another item that you're sure to love.
That's why our store team member offered you an exchange for a similar item of
equal or greater value from the same product category. We also need your photo
ID to do any exchange because we track and limit these exceptions.


I had no problem with asking for a photo ID, but that is nonsense as well, except you checking to see if I am a serial returner (shoplifter), which I am not. Why it has to come from the same "product catagory" still makes no sense. I could have found several items "I was sure to love"(or needed) but they did not happen to come from the Electronics department.

Of course, your feedback about our policies and your experience is always
important to us, so I'll be sure to make your comments available to our
executives.


I will be waiting on their response. I hope you let them know they are dickwads, and they will not be getting business from me in the future. I have also told about 200 people about my unpleasant experience at your store, and I am not alone.

Thanks for shopping with us. We'll see you again soon at Target.

No, you will not be seeing me at your crummy stores.

Sincerely,

Kevin
Target Guest Relations
www.target.com


Here is my email response:

Dear Kevin,

Thanks for taking time to answer me. You provided me with no imformation other than "That is our policy". I get it, you do not value my business. That is why we did the dishonest thing and took the exchange to Wal-Mart where they gladly exchanged the James Bond videos for the video game my son wanted. They gave him a gift card for the balance, which he will gladly use at a future time. I can see why Wal-Mart is kicking your company's ass in the marketplace. Of course, you got a sale, that is your only concern. I hope the $50, was worth it because you missed out on almost $100 we spent at Wal-Mart instead of Target just this evening.

Get out while you can, your company is biting the hand that feeds it -- the consumer.

A new year, a new beginning

What a bunch of horse hooey. The calender is a state of mind.

I will be glad when the wife and kids go back to school. I love them, but they screw up my routine, being here in the daytime. I eat lunch on their schedule, they are in the way...

Changes to the blogroll coming this week (I hope). I owe many of you some links, they are coming. Some people are coming off the old sidebar. I am well aware that life goes on. Delinking is not personal, but if you do not post in a month or two, I cannot waste my time looking at you. If you are on the blogroll, I visit your site. If you want to be added drop me a comment or email.

I am working on a post about WWII. The French were sure assholes. I knew they were imperfect allies at best, but they you might be amazed at some of the things they did.

Probably more later, or maybe not. Have a good day.
Consider everything here that is of original content copyrighted as of March 2005