November 7, 2009

Weekend Funny

The Obama Golf Czar has announced there is a possibility of MAJOR rule
changes to the game of golf, to take effect March 1, 2010, fulfilling the hopes of millions of duffers.

This is only a preview as the complete rule book is being rewritten now.
Here are a few basic changes:

Golfers with handicaps:
- below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
- between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
- above 18 will get a check each time they play.

The dollar amount placed in bets will be as follows:
-for handicaps below 8, an additional $10.
-between 8 and 14, no additional amount.
-above 14, you will receive the total amount in the pot even if you do not play.
The term "gimme" will be changed to "entitlement" and will be used
as follows:
-handicaps below 8, no entitlements.
-handicaps from 8 to 14, entitlements for putter length putts.
-handicaps above 14, if your ball is on green, no need to putt, just pick it up.

These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring.

In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six
pars in any given round. Any excess must be given to those fellow players
who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have
received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par,
can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again.

The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes,
but the term 'net score' will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 15 and above.

This is intended to 'redistribute' the success of winning by making
sure that in every competition the over-14 handicap players will post
only 'net score' against every other player's gross score.

These new Rules are intended to change the game of golf.
Golf must be about Fairness.
It should have nothing to do with Ability.

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