January 30, 2011

I am diagnosed

Shopping at WalMart may induces a certain, albeit temporary, form of Tourette's Syndrome. WalMart Tourettsia symptoms are primarily cursing under one's breath, mumbled F-bombs and repetition of the phrase "I hate this fucking store".  Sometimes the cursing is out loud and includes the phrase "Move you fat bitch" and "Open some fucking check out lines, gott damnit".

One weird aspect of the disease is that a Saturday or Sunday afternoon onset can make the sufferer actually hate every living being on the planet. Sometimes the symptoms last through the drive home.

The disease is temporary in nature, but lasting damage to the psyche may be evident with long-term exposure.  A similar, but as yet undocumented disease, can affect males at the mall, especially on weekends and holidays.

2 comments:

Nathan said...

I have never understood the point of having 'leventy-dozen checkout lines if only two or three of them are open at any given time.

Target is also guilty of this.

Anonymous said...

Oh, that was you behind me today....

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