Did you hear the one about the old middle age guy who went out to get the newspaper? He slid down the driveway like an Austrian ski jumper going for Olympic Gold. He managed to grab the newspaper as he slid by and finally came to a stop in the street. He was still on his feet, the slide culminating in a textbook ice skate stop (though only wearing some smooth-soled Asics).
Then the dumb old jerk could not get back up the ice covered incline of that same drive.
He finally walked over and crunched his way back to the front door by walking in the grass.