February 17, 2012

Another post where I just prattle on about nonsense, except for the secret really good stuff you will miss if you do not read the whole thing

Finally.  What a long work week.  It seemed to last like five days or something.

It is foggy this morning at the old homestead. .I can barely make out the neighbor's houses.If I lived in the country that would be usual, but since I live in a cramped subdivision and the neighbors are a long spit away, that is some dense fog. Looking into the neighbors windows is out of the question.  Not because of the fog, but because all of my neighbors are senior citizens and who wants to watch some wrinkled old bitty put on a girdle and sweats to take their little ankle biter dog for a walk?  Not me, for one. The wife and boy were pissed there was not a two-hour delay.

I hate having to get up in the night to take a crap. TMI?

I am exploring an alternative diet. I looked into vegetarianism and perhaps even becoming a vegan
 Instead I think I will become a meatatarian and maybe even the more stringent baconatarian. The good thing about these strict diets is you can also consume vegetables, starches, (yay potatoes!) and dairy products. 

I fried up some chicken last night. I am a fried chicken bigot.  I only like the white meat. I am thinking about forming a club with other poultry bigots.  We will wear white suits with black bow ties. We will wear wax paper buckets on our heads to hide our identity.  Eye holes will be allowed, lest we bump into stuff. We will burn giant wooden chicken legs in ceremonies that feature lots of cole slaw. I think we will call ourselves the CCC -- Chicken Clux Cluck Cluck Clan. The fiery leg burning will inspire terror into dark meat eaters all over the landscape.*

On second thought that just seems like a lot of work.

As usual, I made some kick-ass white gravy to liven the spuds and biscuits. I could consider living on gravy and cornbread if the meatitarian thing does not work out. And little chocolate donuts.  I like little chocolate donuts.

OK, I lied, there was no good stuff in this post. You probably should click back every hour or so to see if I added a new and better post. Perhaps I will edit some good stuff into this one. You never know... You should probably read through my complete archives while you are at it.


* I know to steal good stuff when I read it, and Mockingbird nails it.

7 comments:

Jean said...

I guess I'm weird (duh!), I like chicken breasts and legs. Thighs are yucky. I love meat too much to be a real vegetarian.

Joe said...

I cook breasts for me and legs for the wife. Example 2,061 where we have nothing in common. Example 6,913 where she is wrong.

CnC said...

I'm on my second week of my diet and now you got me thinking of fried chicken taters and gravy , Yeah I'm with you on the white only chicken. Put me down for C C C membership

Mockingbird said...

The Cluck Cluck Clan? Buckets on our heads? I'M IN! Please tell me beer is involved.

Joe said...

Mockingbird, I owe you that beer. "Cluck Cluck Clan" is way better.

Hey teacher... said...

C'mon Joe, at least have a link to a Buckethead song with this post. Maybe if you write to him he would write you a theme song that you could play over really big loud speakers as all the bucket-headed mother cluckers goose-stepped, oops I mean in clux step with each other while the torches blazed and the breasts crackled and popped in the hot grease. I think there's the beginning of a very interesting porno or a cheesy propaganda film or vice versa.

Joe said...

Hells Yes! My own theme song! I think this could be the beginning of a real cult.

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