June 30, 2012

Make that twenty-eight

New readers are an opportunity to regurgitate an old post. Hey, it is summer, you should be used to reruns.

This is an old musing from 2006.

Lucky Man

The shoes hurt my feet. I was a bit aggravated. I had to tell one of my buddies he should not be drinking beer in church. He did not see the problem. I told him the Catholics may not mind, but the Methodists had issues with alcohol in the church. I was half irritated because I wanted one of those beers myself.


I had been in an argument with some other people who wanted to mess with my car. Permanent marker does not come off of windows.


The whole thing was becoming a real pain. I cut myself shaving. The photographer annoyed the shit out of me with the stupid poses. Everyone wanted to talk to me tell me this or that, tell me a story or anecdote from their own experience.


I was pissed because I was standing there waiting. I have little patience now. I had less then. Otter was there. So were some other buddies. Finally the ladies came through the doors, things were finally moving.


I could not help smiling when she came through the door at last. She was beautiful: freckles and all. Her hair, her dress, all looked great. My irritation vanished as the organ switched tunes and the audience stood. Even though this all happened twenty-three years ago, I remember many of the details. The minister seemed to drone about the Galatians or some such. We dated six years before we got married, I guess I do have patience when it comes to certain details. At last the deed was done. We were off to the reception and then the best part -- the honeymoon!


Here I sit, twenty-three years later and I remain married. I am short tempered, I find myself incredibly amusing. My hair is graying and maybe even thinning a bit on top, but I really do not care to investigate. Bifocals are on my nose, my gut has grown. I fart a lot. She sports some gray when she does not keep her hair dyed. Her vision is getting bad too. She cannot decide if she needs longer or shorter arms to read a menu. She thinks she is fat. She complains about getting old. I still think she is beautiful and sexy. Some days I look at her and I am filled with desire. I thank God for her every day -- even those when she pisses me off. I suspect I anger her far more than she does me.


I wanted to post a picture from that day, but my scanner is again on the fritz. Trust me, she was the most beautiful woman in the world standing there in the Methodist Church -- June 30, 1984. I am a lucky man.

June 29, 2012

Big Government lands a sharp left hook, Freedom is on the ropes

It has been almost a day now since the ObamaCare ruling. The Republic has not been radically transformed. That was started long ago when FDR implemented his socialist agenda that prolonged the Depression. The slide into Big Government was aided and abetted by Democrats and willing Republicans in the following decades. ObamaCare is merely a bigger step down the slope.

One thing is clear to this amateur political watcher. We can no longer apply the sobriquet "Conservative" to Justice Roberts. His decisions in the Arizona and ObamaCare cases put that illusion to rest.

Some pundits are looking for any hint of light in this ruling. Some say Roberts actually helped the limited Government cause by seemingly giving the Big Government types a victory, while limiting Congress powers. It is true the Commerce Clause gambit was repudiated strongly by the Court. And the slap down of the Medicaid expansion limits Congress' powers to tell the States what to do.

In the end, Roberts has made it easier than ever for the Progressive wing to force us into behavior they want and desire. No longer does compelling Americans to act have to be under the purview of "commerce". Now it can be mandated as a tax. And what a strange taxing system is now upheld by the SCOTUS! Congress can mandate you buy something from a private company, and then fine you if you do not. This is now the definition of a tax.

I am certain Pelosi and company are already writing legislation to force you into using green energy. Does anyone doubt we will see a bill introduced in Obama's second term demanding all cars you own must meet certain fuel mileage guidelines or you pay a fine? Hey! The Government has to make up all the money it is losing on the Chevy Volt. Guess what? Justice Roberts has decreed that is a Constitutional tax.

This decision has just allowed Congress to mandate anything they choose, fine you if you do not acquiesce and it is defined as a tax. The Nanny State just got the power to compel us to do what is good for us individually and collectively, based on whatever the politician in place thinks you should do. Don't fool yourself into believing Republican power brokers are not secretly figuring out ways to use this new taxing power as well.

We laughed at the idea of banning sugary drinks in New York. Friends, we have just scratched the surface and Roberts gave the Government a sharp object.

June 28, 2012

Its a tax

The Court says you have to buy insurance 'cause it is a tax.
It’s an interesting argument, but one that should have Americans worried.  Basically, this is a tax that you have to pay to private companies.  For all of the screaming the Right did over single-payer — and for good, outcome-based reasons — at least the taxes raised to fund it would go directly to government.  The Supreme Court has signed off on what is, in very practical terms, a tax levied by the insurance industry on Americans simply for existing.  It’s an amazing, and fearsome, decision that really should have both Right and Left horrified. --Hot Air
You are now going to pay taxes to private companies.  I don't know. Since it is a tax we can make it go away in November.

Tell me again voting is a waste of time.

And over the classic halls...


Well I did not think the girl
Could be so cruel
And I'm never going back
To my old school
   --Steely Dan
On my way back from a long road trip last evening I found myself pulling off on the exit to my old college town. I had been in the car for hours and I was hungry. I had not eaten since lunch and supper time was long past. It was time for food, any food. I hit McDonald's --America's urinal-- for a pee break and quick bite. I got my food to go and decided to take a quick drive around the campus.

It is reassuring to know that much was the same, just a little different.  New red brick buildings dotted the landscape where stately old houses once stood. Center Hall, the Chapel, Baxter Hall all stood around the Mall as ever. The setting sun sent rays of light through the green of the trees to prodce a psotcard-like setting. The Fraternity house still stood on the hill, no longer part of the Greek system, its charter revoked in a hissy fit of ass coverage. 

I would like to say the buildings somehow looked smaller, that time had dimmed my memories of the place.   I wish I could offer plaitudes and thoughful insight on my youth brought forth by the stately red brick of the campus. I want to be that writer that steps back in time to capture life lessons in retracing my long ago footsteps. I have neither the talent or imagination for that. In my mind they are just buildings where I used to sit and pathways and streets I used to walk.

I have nostalgia, anyone who reads the drivel in the archives can attest to that. But driving past  and through the campus brought forth nothing more than a satisfied "hmmph".  I had a hell of a good time at that place. I got an excellent education to boot. But I have no deisre to go back.  My best days are in front of me, not in the past.

Today politics will take center stage in the news, the blogs, and in conversation. I am sure in the coming days I will opine, rant and lecture. But in the end, the sun will rise on the morrow, my wife and kids will love me.

I can live with that.

June 27, 2012

Boobs

Proof men can focus on more than one thing at a time.


June 26, 2012

Honey, get my insulin ready

The wife found a new brownie recipe. So good. So sweet, two of these could be used to kill off Death Row diabetics.

She got this pan that looks like a muffin tin, only with square holes. Get one from WalMart. It was cheap (as in inexpensive).

Take a package of the break apart chocolate chip cookies from the refrigerated section of your local grocery. Put one and one half squares in the bottom of the pan.  Smash down into a thin layer to cover the bottom of the square. Place a full-sized Reese cup upside down on top of the cookie. Stir up a box of brownies according to directions. Spoon brownie batter over the cookie/candy bar. Fill about 3/4 full. Bake at 350 for 18 minutes. Cool and eat. There you have it, an elegant and decadent dessert that is as easy as anything you have ever made.

I would show you a picture, but we ate them all (with help from some friends).

You are welcome

June 25, 2012

The future is now

Today may be a big news day as the future of ObamaCare should be announced by the SCOTUS today.  Or maybe Thursday. Or maybe another Monday or Thursday.

Ponder this set of ideas. The Government, as envisioned by King Obama, believes it has the power to force you to buy health insurance. Liberals in New York and Massachusetts believe they have the power to dictate the size of soft drink you can order. How big is the next step to forcing you to buy diet soda, or the drink the Nannies-in-charge want you to drink?  How does that Soilent Green taste?

After all, it was just weeks ago my favorite liberal blogger told me there was no way the Government would force a church to offer same sex marriages. Except the progressive types in Europe already are taking that next step.

When you allow a government to define what freedoms you possess, that same Government can take them away. Madison and the Founders knew this.  That is why our Freedoms were described as God-given in the founding documents.

Progressives and Liberals forget the Government derives its power from the people, not the reverse.

June 23, 2012

Saturday Blues



I have dug Lonnie Brooks since the early 1980's.

June 22, 2012

Mulch Munching Mammals

Lots of interesting stuff in the news. King Obama has taken a page from Nixon's playbook.  Trying to protect underlings from wrongdoing via Executive Privilege has not worked so well in the past. Where are you Bob Woodward? What did the President know, and when did he know it? Since the news media only investigates Republican administrations I am sure this will all blow over soon. It is a welcome respite for the Obamaites and the state of the economy.

I spent most of the week crisscrossing the State with a side trip or two into Buckeye territory and even into Chicagostan. Here is an example of my travels. I left home late Wednesday morning and drove to the far west central part of the state to Terre Haute and environs. I then drifted north up US 41 towards Attica, Indiana. I picked up Indiana 55 and proceeded north all the way through Crown Point to Merrillville. I spent the night there. I drove into the City on Thursday morning, took a customer to lunch and then drove back to south central Indiana and home.

I have not even described the trips to Cincinatti, Fort Wayne and Anderson I took earlier in the week. My ass wants a divorce from my Ford, I can tell you that.

June 20, 2012

King Obama says

...illegals are no longer illegal. He is going to allow them to get a work permit. They can have jobs, if they can find them. So now does adding these 800,000 to 1,600,000 or more no-longer-illegals to the workforce count against the unemployment/underemployed rate? Did the jobless number just jump higher?

Shouldn't it?

Already there are four candidates for every open job, how about we add more candidates, especially those willing to work for lower wages.  That is good for the economy (sarcasm).  But it is a boon to business owners and the evil  one percenters already getting richer off of the backs of the oppressed worker class.  I suspect the Unions. the OWS crowd and liberal bloggers will be all over this in four, three, two,...

June 19, 2012

3622

Allergies are kicking my ass.  I have not been this affected for twenty years. I think it is the lack of  rain is allowing the pollen and dust to fill the air.

Hold on.

OK I'm back. Every morning around 7:30 a damn dove lands atop my fireplace chimney and starts his cooing bullshit.  It echoes down the flue and sounds like  a whole herd of the bastards are in the living room. A well aimed ice cube moves the damn bird on its way.  I would prefer to use a pellet gun, but the wife objects.  Plus shooting up at that angle is a tough shot. The dove will probably take a shit on my car later this morning.

I'm off to convince a potential new customer to buy my widgets.  I sold them stuff 15 years ago when I worked for another company. None of the old players are still around, so I am starting from scratch.

June 18, 2012

King Obama

Leaders of both parties have ignored the immigration problem for decades. The current President intends to decide the matter by fiat, issuing law via proclamation. We should all be concerned with that policy. Allowing the President to take on dictatorial powers is a danger to our Republic. The next time it may be a policy you do not like. Dictators like to round up troublemakers...

I get it. Pandering to the Hispanic vote is all about elections and power. Democrats and Republicans alike can count.  Hispanics population is growing faster than any other category. Experts say that by 2050 Hispanics will outnumber whites. The Democrats are determined to capture those votes.  The Republicans are determined they will not have another race block voting Democrat in every election. In spite of Republicans ending slavery, and passing the civil rights bills and desegregating the schools, blacks vote about 95% Democrat. The Republicans can not allow the Hispanic voted to follow a similar path.

I am confused by the Unions and their support for the Democrat amnesty policies on illegal immigration.  The attraction for employers is the cheap labor the illegals offer. The roofing, construction and lawn and garden industry is dominated by Hispanics.  The migrant farm workers who pick the fruit and produce is overwhelmingly Hispanic.  In fact, any low-paying job is filled by Hispanics. Union workers are left out of bids due to low cost operators. Illegals will not unionize out of fear of deportation.  Yet the unions back the very people who are costing them jobs.

June 17, 2012

Thanks Dad

Happy Father's Day to all you Dads out there.

June 16, 2012

Filthy Democrats

Why when the Democrats had control of Congress, elections had consequences, but when the Dems are not in charge compromise becomes the mark of a true statesman?

It is probably Bush's fault.

June 15, 2012

Seriously secret signals from Syria

So...here we are. It is a Friday morning. You want content, I want content. You want to be entertained. I want to oblige.

I have watched the cursor for some time this morning.  In spite of my highest hopes it is not blinking hints and insight in Morse Code. Unless I am supposed to type a repeating 'SSSSSSSSSS for the next upteen hours, there is no help forthcoming from the blink blink of the cursed cursor.  Perhaps it is a repeating 'OOOOOOOO'? As there is no variation in the on-off pulse of the evil cursor, I know my computer is not sending me a secret SOS (...---...).

I learned the Morse code for SOS from an old Superman episode as a kid.  Jimmy sent up smoke to get Superman's attention.  See, TV can teach us valuable stuff. I learned semaphore back in my Boy Scout days. I do not remember any of it after four decades of non-use.. Even if I could still message via signal flags, who could read it?

Imagine I am deep in the wilderness and came across a secret liberal indoctrination camp, designed by Bill Ayres to provide attitude adjustment for us bitter clinger-types. My cell phone has no signal, radio and shortwave bands are blocked. I rip my red T-shirt and sew it to my tighty-whiteys.  I wave my discovery, one letter at a time, to the nearest mountain top. A trusty gun club is there, armed and ready to defend our Rights.  Alas, no one can decipher my weird flag waving. The Republic is doomed! If only Jimmy Olsen had used semaphore instead of Morse code...

June 14, 2012

Friday Covers, Thursday Edition



The original by Tommy James and the Shondelles. The tremolo voice effect was achieved by running the voice mike through the guitar amp. Pretty edgy for 1968. According to the notoriously inaccurate Wikipedia, James used an Ampeg guitar amp. My son has one of these now rare 1960's era Ampeg guitar amps.



Joan Jett, fresh out of the Runaways, tackles the tune in her solo debut. I remember this version blasting from the jukebox down at the Pizza King while my girlfriend (and current wife) and I played MS Packman.



For you who dig modern artists, here is American Idol Kelly Clarkson covering the tune live. I like this version.



And finally the wee one, Prince, the symbol, whatever, butchers it almost beyond recognition.

June 13, 2012

SAE 52100 is a high carbon, chromium containing low alloy steel

The chefs and cooks on the Food Network often lament the lack of smell-o-vision. I concur.  But if I were to direct the leading scientist of our generation to invent a truly needed device, I would ask for a sarcasm font for the interwebz. Of course, had I such a command for my laptop, much of what I write here and in intra-company Emails would be in that font.

For instance when I type that "I am excited I get to go to Detroit this week", you would know the sentence is dripping in sarcasm if I had 'sarcasm font'.. Upon further thought, the fact the the destination city is Detroit may be the only indication required to know sarcasm is alive and active in the writing...

John Knowles wrote that sarcasm is the protest of the weak. I say it is a sharp utility knife, ready to cut.

June 12, 2012

Dear MLB

Inter-league play sucks, makes the World Series and the entire playoff system pointless, and serves no point.

Is there anyone who wants more inter-league play, or even likes it now?


June 11, 2012

Trying to break through

I was listening to my favorite band yesterday. I ran across this video I had not seen before.  This is the instrumental the band often plays to start a live show.  Check it out:



Do not just skip the video. I know that is what you do, but not this time. Fossil Generation has moved to a Rush-type sound.  The band calls it progressive pop.

Check it out and if you get a chance to see them live, go for it.

You get what you pay for

I am aware. After all, this is my blog. I know lately I have naught to offer you but banal glimpses into my perfectly normal but remarkably uninteresting life. You stop by and electronically look in through the windows and see a middle aged asshole sitting in a recliner watching John Wayne on the TV.

What you want is a glimpse of me and the missus wrestling naked on a Crisco covered tarp. Well, admittedly a much younger, fitter, better looking version of us where the chick has extra large hooters and the guy can last hours in a sexual lovemaking marathon. Don't pretend otherwise, we have been friends far too long for that kind of lie.

 You want to see cats chasing laser pens or puppies looking cute.  You will settle for a half-crazed fat guy perched upon a soapbox waving his arms in Hitleresque fashion while shouting a diatribe against the political powers. You want to see angry spittle fly from my lips and righteous vexation coloring my face purple.  You long to witness my veins pulsing with high pressure and patriotic indignation.

It is coming.  View the current crop of uninteresting blog words merely the lull before the storm, the peaceful flow of the river before the rapids. Elections are coming. As long as we have voters who posses infantile notions of equal outcomes, of economic ignorance, who have an astounding lack of historical perspective and understanding, I will have a rant to deliver. I believe education is a life-long process and it is our duty to teach what we know. Even if the words hurt the liberals wittle feewings.

June 10, 2012

Using rabbit milk for the lactose intolerant

I am a bit slow getting to the old blogeroo this fine and sunny morning. We had a great day at our friend's house -- swimming, cigars, beer, euchre, more swimming, more beer, another cigar...You get the idea.

For supper we went to a local BBQ dive. I had the ultimate sandwich. This baby was a big hoagie roll, topped with pulled pork, bacon, ham, a fried pork burger and topped with cheddar  cheese sauce. I finished this heart attack on a bun with a side of fried pickles and just for the irony, a Diet Coke. Porkapalooza indeed.

I have naught on tap for today unless I decide to mow the yard. If you are so inclined you could thank G-D for his blessings today. I will.

Have a great Sunday.

June 9, 2012

Turnip farming basics

It is Saturday. I am in a lazy mood.  We are off later today to hang out with some friends and soak in their pool. Sucks to be you today. Just to rub salt in the wound, I went early to the bakery and picked up some fresh donuts for breakfast.  Don't hate me because I get to swim and eat donuts on a Saturday.

Hate me because I am a self-righteous asshole. Hate for my poor writing skills and worse spelling.  Hate me because you are a liberal fucktard with no understanding of basic economics or history.

But not for fresh donuts.

June 8, 2012

Cakes and Candles

Today is my wife's birthday.  I won't mention her age, it is not polite. She maintains she is 49. We will have to accept that.  We do not have big plans to celebrate beyond dinner out this evening. You are welcome to tag along, as long as you pick up your own check.

Better yet, I suggest you all go out to eat this evening in honor of my wife's birthday. Tip your waiter well, in most states that is all they get for pay. Make sure you tell the hostess/waiter/waitress/manager you are celebrating Charlotte's birthday.  Imagine the confusion when you admit Charlotte is some woman in Indiana. Chaos. Hilarity.

You have your mission. Report back your successful celebration.

As always, if you or any member of your team is caught or captured I will disavow any knowledge of your activity. Good luck.

June 7, 2012

I bought my wireless router six years ago. At the time it was a good one. It had to run my laptop. Just my laptop. Today we are using wireless on a wide assortment of electronics from laptops to iPads to phones to printers. Throw in the internet phone from work and the X-Box and Playstation and we have serious wireless problems. If the boy booted up a game, everyone else lost wireless for a moment.

I purchased a new router yesterday.  The electronics guy assured me my new one is powerful enough to run everything at once. I was set to go top-of-the line but he brought me down one level. You don't see that often.

As usual, I opted to start the installation around 10:00 last night. It should have been easy. Of course, I had to call my ISP. He walked me through some setup issues and I was finally off and 'puting a little after midnight. The router is secured by complicated password, and the household devices are reset to the new network. Except the printer. I cannot remember how to set up the wireless printer.

Age and not tech-savy is a bad combination.

Arrgh

I tried three times to publish a D-Day post yesterday.  Every time I hit "publish", Blogger gave me a blank screen.  If I moved off the blank screen, I lost my post.

I guess I am down to three options. Let Google be the boss of me and install Chrome. Move to my backup Wordpress blog, or quit altogether.

I sure hate to be told what to do.

update.  Ok, it looks like this post went up.  I guess it was the pictures that caused problems yesterday.

June 5, 2012

And boy are my arms tired

I flew in to the Queen City last evening and the flight was bumpy the whole way.  As we were making our descent, the ride was jinking and jumping so much the attendants abandoned the trash pickup and seat belt check. 

My secret inner Walter Mitty took over and for a moment I imagined I was in a B-17 over the heart of Germany heading for a bombing run to Schweinfurt or Regensburg, my plane buffeted by a barrage of flack from Nazi ack-ack.

Unlike our brave grandfathers and fathers who defeated the Axis evil, I was in no real danger.  In fact, I have been on worse plane rides. But the air was surprisingly turbulent for what appeared to be a sunny day.

June 4, 2012

I need a vacation to recover from the weekend

I am a bit behind on the news and politics of the day. We had a great weekend. Graduation was as expected.  The graduates were exhorted to look to the future, there was talk about the road of life, blah, blah, I did not listen too closely. Names were called, diplomas were passed, choirs sang, mortar board caps were tossed.  White trash hooted and yelled when their progeny walked across the stage. As Walter Cronkite would intone --"And you were there".

Lots of family and friends stopped by the house. There was enough food to feed the Sudan with some left over for Ethiopia. Too many sweets. Everyone took home food and we still have some leftovers. The weather was perfect, albeit a little windy. We played some cornhole, drank some beer, and the boy even joined us on the deck for a nice stogie. Our very good friends stayed and helped us clean up -- how cool is that?

But now it is Monday and it is back to work. The highways and byways and perhaps even the friendly skies will be my workplace this week as I try my best to overcome Obamanomics and make some money.  Happy Monday!

June 2, 2012

Pomp and Circumstance

















My youngest will graduate from High School this morning. I know he is ready.  He will be heading off to Indiana University in the fall.  Collectively we have passed another mile marker on life's highway.. I seem to be picking up speed, the markers are starting to look like a picket fence.

He is a fine young man. All three of my kids have turned out well. Their Mom has been a good influence.

The house is clean and the food is ready for the Open House after the ceremony.

June 1, 2012

damn

The Unk is gone.

Soda Envy

Na na na I can have it.  New Yowkers soon will not be able to.

Why the People who reside in Sodom on the Hudson are not down at City Hall with torches and pitchforks is beyond me. Even proposing a ban on sodas is a violation of freedom so egregious, tar and feathers is the only answer.
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