February 11, 2013

Pope Joe I

The Pope is calling it quits. I admire a man who recognizes his limitations. The greeter at my local WalMart should follow Benedict's lead. He too is old and infirm and unable to do the job. If you have to sit down to supervise the cart area, it is time to retire. On the other hand, my greeter friend always offers a polite nod and a cheery good morning/afternoon/evening when I enter Satan's Retail Hell, so I guess he is fulfilling the greeter role.

I imagine it is too late to convert to Catholicism and impress enough Cardinals to get some Popey consideration. Too bad.  According the article I read, there are no clear frontrunners for the job. I would look good sporting a Pope hat. I would have a red 'C' emblazoned on it, perhaps a little sacred Pope support could spur the Cubbies to a title!

Imagine the moon you could make from the glass bubble on the Popemobile! I know if I am elected Pope, there would be a Papal decree keeping Tom Hanks out of Vatican City.  Every time that guy shows up at St. Peter's people die. I am certain it would be beyond awesome to live in a big palace/church surrounded by artwork done by Ninja Turtles.

Is there a Rosetta Stone for Latin? I see white smoke in my future.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

We need a lesbian, black Popette. That would be the correct choice, old fat white guys have been in charge of the Vatican for way to long.
James Old Guy

Cappy said...

Fuck conversion. Have Oblama tell the church they need to get diverse. Then you could be pope. Or I could.

Jim - PRS said...

You might look spiffy in the red shoes.

Dan O. said...

A greeter at Wally World? The 2 stores near me did away with greeter during the Great Lay-off of 2009 after O took office.

As for Pope, why would you want the headaches of dealing with all those demoncrats and pedophile priests?

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