October 31, 2016

And while we are at it, stay off my lawn

When I am the King of the World, and for the life of me I cannot understand why I have yet to be coronated by general acclimation, I will decree Halloween outlawed. It represents the worst of society. Think on it. The whole basis of the celebration is to go to a neighbor, or even a stranger, and query "trick or treat?". That is just the lesson I want the youth of America learning; to loot and beg.

There are religious and pagan roots to Halloween going back to harvest festivals and blah, blah you didn't come here for a history lesson. You didn't, did you? Because I will bring out the facts....I thought not.

Now Halloween has become just a big retail holiday designed to capture your spare dollars between back-to-school shopping and a kick off to Christmas. For goodness sake, the Big Yellow Price Tag has been advertising Holiday shopping for more than a week already! That is something else I will address when I am Supreme Global Pontiff and Ruler of All Land and Sea. That alone is good enough to put me in charge. I won't even mention that with me crowned Arbiter of Taste and Ultimate Leader you will never, ever have to see or hear a political ad again.

Anyway, the begging bastards better show up this year. I bought the candy and I do not need the leftovers.  The past few years have been a bust for the looters and beggars here in the neighborhood. Back when we lived in Shelbytucky, we had hundreds of visitors on Halloween. The neighborhood looked like what you see on made for TV movies; families and kids moving in vast herds from door-to-door collecting candy under threat of vandalism and mayhem.

We are ready, if the kids show up. At least until next year, when things will different. Surely, I will be Emperor of Everything by then.


October 30, 2016

Apparently Huma is just as careless with emails as her boss

I'm too depressed to write about the important stuff. So instead of baseball we will write about politics today.

I'm laughing my rear off at Hillary though. Isn't it ironic she is calling on the FBI to get on with the investigation and release what they know right now. She demands transparency.

If Clinton would not have lied, denied, obfuscated, covered up her server, deleted more than half of the emails, stalled to get immunity for her staff, and generally did her best Nixon impersonation, this investigation would have ended long, long ago.

Of course if she had actually cooperated someone else would be the Democrat Party nominee. So draw your own conclusions. I'm not surprised, hypocrisy has always been a salient feature of most Democrats.

Feminists insist we should elect Hillary because she has a vagina. They say most of society's problems are caused by men's wieners. I guess in this case one Wiener in particular is the issue.

October 29, 2016

Fading in flashing glory

The Indians were the better team last night. They were better at the plate and had better pitching. In other words, they beat the hapless Cubbies at their own game. If the Cubs don't find their magic bats this will be a short series. I'm not depressed yet, they were down 2-1 in the NLCS and won in six games. They have shown they can win on the road. This is two evenly matched teams.

I slept fairly well for the first time in weeks. My hacking cough was held to a minimum. More importantly, the doc released me to sleep on my stomach. No more sleeping on my back. I am back to my natural position, on my belly, faced pressed under the pillow. Ahhhh.

Watching the ballgame last night I quipped to the wife that based on commercials you would think all we were interested in was cars, beer and boners.

"That is pretty much all guys think about isn't it?" She replied. Score one for the missus.

It looks to be a gorgeous fall day here in Hoosierdom.  I hope it is nice where you are. Enjoy your weekend. That is an order.

October 28, 2016

Breaking

The FBI is reopening the Hillary Email case. They already had plenty of proof the law was broken, will more violations make a difference?  Will 51 top secret emails instead of 50 tip the scale?

This is far more breaking wind than breaking news. Comey is trying to quell the rumbles in the rank and file. Too late, you have already shown the bureau is politicized.

Look, Clinton either set up the server to avoid FOIA laws, or she is incompetent. There is no door number 3. Either should disqualify her for office.

I am happy to take arguments to the contrary in the comments. Support your candidate, you Democrats.  Oh, and "but Trump" is not an argument.

The Pioneers moved to the frontier because they were bored. It was something to do.

Just before 1:00 PM yesterday the lights blinked, came on, then went out. The sky was clear, there was no wind. The wife had just finished making lunch for our granddaughter.. I was staring into the pantry wondering what I would eat. Since our stove is electric and power was not yet restored, I took a coupon down to the Golden Arches  and grabbed my wife and I some nearly inedible lunch. The power company said we would be restored by 3:00. At 2:30 they said it would be at six o'clock.

Do you know boring life is without electricity? No TV, no internet, no radio. It was real-life Gillian's Island. Duke Energy updated the restore estimate to 10 PM. I said to leave the fridge shut.  We headed for dinner out. The wife ran her phone and iPad dead. We plugged them in the car. A new update text informed me we could expect the power to be restored this morning by 7:30.

We went to WalMart to kill some time.

Back home, we lit some candles. It was starting to get chilly in the house. My wife said she was cold. I suggested naked body heat was the solution. There was enough light to see her frown. My iPad power level read 5%.  It looked like I was going to have to actually have a conversation with my wife to pass the time!

It was like a surprise party when the lights kicked on just before eleven.


it is Friday, and it fits the theme. Not really.

Has there ever been an odder music video? In what way does this fit in with the beach? And why is she in a dress on the beach? Why is no one paying attention to the woman, in a long dress, singing on the beach about a hanging, infidelity, murder, and other dark themes? I'm pretty sure nothing here was designed to be ironic.

October 27, 2016

I have had my fill of doctors for this week

I went back to the eye surgeon today. He was pleased, I'm recovering nicely. He had no answer as to why my vision is trending towards "really sucks" again. In fact, according to the eye chart, it has improved a bit since last time. He said my severe astigmatism is the culprit and allowed that the surgeries may have made it worse. The good news is my vision is correctable to almost 20/20 in both eyes. In the end this all sure beats going blind. That was option two in this process.

I broke down and went to the Doc-in-a-box yesterday. I have bronchitis. $85 in prescriptions later I coughed and hacked more last night than ever. I spent the night in the recliner so the wife could at least sleep. The over the counter cough syrup seems to work better than the codine-laced 'good stuff': at least so far. A Z-Pack and inhaler don't seem to be doing much yet.  Yeah, that $85 was a good chunk of the funds we had saved away in the HSA to pay for glasses.

The money tree in the backyard has yet to bear the twenty dollar bills I expected. I suppose the magic beans I planted were a hoax too.

one apiece

Image result for w flag

October 26, 2016

It is only one

The Cubs won't win any games if they are going to strike out 15 times. Once again they looked like a whole team of Major League's Pedro Cerrano, who famously could not hit a curveball. LA's Rich Hill did the same to the Cubs hitters.

October 25, 2016

double play

Baseball's Sad Lexicon
These are the saddest of possible words:
"Tinker to Evers to Chance."
Trio of bear cubs, and fleeter than birds,
Tinker and Evers and Chance.
Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon[a] bubble,
Making a Giant hit into a double[b] –
Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble:
"Tinker to Evers to Chance."
Source 


According to Wikipedia, and everything there is accurate, a gondolier is a penet or flag.

October 24, 2016

Pigs do not sweat

Here we are on a chilly and sunny Monday morning and I have nothing to report. I really don't know where the weekend went. Saturday we...and then...  And then Sunday I ...

Yeah, it was like that.

Today, I am going to finally drag myself to the doc-in-a-box. I have been coughing for more than two weeks. I have emptied three bottles of over-the-counter cough syrup and countless cough drops. I don't feel bad, I just cannot quit coughing. I suspect lung rabies, or perhaps a rare strain of chest Ebola. There is no doubt in my mind it is so bad the disease will be named after me henceforth. "Oh no, Tom has a case of the JoeCough". Or not.

Anyway it is the start of a new week. Hope you have a good one.

October 23, 2016

Next year has finally arrived

Oh my, oh my. I honestly never thought I would live to see the Cubs in the World Series. Now I want them to win it so badly that I lack the vocabulary to properly express it. I hate to say it Miss Jean, but I really hope your Indians lose.

The task ahead is tough. Cleveland has rolled through the playoffs, and will have a "hey, we are here too" chip on their shoulder. They are also young and hungry. They have great pitching aided by the damnable designated hitter rule.

I'm as giddy as a school girl. If I needed to hand write a note I would consider dotting my "i's" with little hearts or perhaps a tiny "c". I might skip down the sidewalk during my morning walk. As last night's game ended with a sweet double play I gave a jump, a woot, and danced a jig around my living room. I dropped my wife a high five and stole a kiss. I gave her a hearty Trumpian grope on the rump. I watched the post game celebrations for an hour.

I suspect my wife is sorry she promised I could get a Cubs tattoo if they ever made it to the World Series.

October 22, 2016

Yeah, but it is hard to dance to.

October 20 marked the 39th anniversary of the plane crash that killed several members of the Lynyrd Skynyrd band and others. I have always liked blues influenced southern rock and by all accounts the band put on a great show. I watched a documentary about LS recently, and their first producer described them as a practiced to perfection talent. They spent ten hours a day practicing when not on tour. Perhaps that explains why their first album is by far their best.

In 1973 and 1974 I was a punk in junior high (middle school for you youngsters). My brother was a freshman in high school. Every morning a group of friends came by to walk to school, a little over a mile away. Yes, we actually were expected to walk. No one saw anything inhuman in that. Anyway, since my brother did not have to leave for some time because we lived a block from the high school, he was still getting ready when we left. Mom and dad were long gone for work. For some reason, right when my friends arrived Otter queued up Free Bird. My friends always laughed that there goes Otter and his "church music".

For those of you who have been on Mars for the past four decades I offer up a live version of the classic tune:


And that is how it is done.

RIP, boys.

October 21, 2016

Clack clack

Dear woman in seat 17E,

It is me, 17D. I don't care if you are using your phone to do facebook, or text or whatever. I suspect you are transcribing War and Peace, given the flurry of thumb action there on your phone. But could you turn off your keyboard sounds? You may think that bubble-popping noise on every keystroke is cute. Mostly it is annoying.

Thanks,


Your neighbor in flight

October 20, 2016

With a Woot! and a Hey!

My blog friend Jean is surely a happy girl since the Indians clinched a spot in the World Series yesterday. In the National League, the Cubs we have been watching all season showed up and finally hit the ball, rolling to a lopsided 10-2 victory. During a text exchange with my wife I quipped that the team should save a few of those runs for tonight.

I was a bad boy last evening. I blew off dinner with my colleagues. I ate room service and watched the game. In all honesty, I felt like warmed over road kill. The cold that has settled in my chest for two weeks moved back into my head yesterday afternoon, so I have snot filled sinuses to go with my hacking cough --again. My head hurt like the blazes and I wasn't really up for group frivolity. I doubt my coworkers missed me coughing all evening much. I walked a few miles to Walgreens yesterday morning to stock up on more over the counter meds. If I'm not better I am going to have to suck it up and head to the clinic for some real medicine. This has gone on long enough.

One more day at the trade show booth. This is a short session; three hours this afternoon. Then, like The Who once proclaimed, "I'm Free". I suspect a few poolside beers, dinner and an early night to follow. I have a 4:40 am pickup for the airport. Then I will be winging my way home. I will miss the warm weather and sunshine, but I am ready to sleep in my own bed.

I did not watch one second of the debate. If you don't know by now that Clinton is a filthy corrupt politician, that Trump is a buffoon, and the rest of the candidates are idiots, then I'm not sure what to say to you. I suspect you are confused by he cereal aisle at the grocery store.

October 19, 2016

I just want to go home

Two more days of trade show boredom. Friday morning cannot get here soon enough, then I hit the airways back to Hoosierdom. Blah, blah. I'm bored, you are bored.

I know in my heart the Cubs are going to lose.

I also know Hillary is going to win. The media is completely in the tank. USAToday runs six or seven anti-Trump articles every day, with never a mention of Clinton or her scandals. As for the GOP elites who helped plant the knife in Trump's populism, does anyone believe their claims they will make sure Clinton puts acceptable candidates on the Supreme Court? Yeah, that will be their first act after they get rid of ObamaCare. That will be the week after they actually reduce spending. That comes exactly one month after never. The odds are better that the Cubs win the World Series.

October 18, 2016

Chicago Cubs you are breaking my heart

The Dodgers have accused the Cubs of stealing signs. If true, the cubs are really bad at it based on their poor performance at the plate.

They are getting rolled again tonight. 

It sucks. Just like last year in the NLCS they cannot hit.

Two down, three to go

I was on my feet for about eleven hours yesterday, most of the time bored to tears.  I dutifully stood at the trade show booth, a plastic smile intact. I walked around the show. I only did one aisle every couple of hours so that I have something to occupy my time in the coming days. I am nearly out of interesting conversation with my colleagues.  Three more days.

October 17, 2016

Lots of cursing

Sunday...the day sucked lemons. I sat all day in a sales meeting. The boss increased my forecast for next year by more than 15% over this year's projected results. There is no basis in reality for his number.

The Cubs lost. I missed the game because I was at a company dinner. Looks like the good guys couldn't hit the ball. I won't panic yet.

The Indianapolis Colts....what a monumental choke job. I got back to my room in time to see that garbage of the last three minutes of regulation. The prevent defense doesn't prevent anything. The Colts are a putrid team, poorly coached and terribly put together. You cannot expect mediocre players to play like all-pros. I'm not one of those knee jerk Monday Morning QBs, but someone needs to be gone.  Maybe several somebodies.

No cursing after all. But I want to.


October 15, 2016

Four O'clock and All Is Well

Except that I am awake. That is not so swell. Cough, cough, I can't get that hippo off my chest. Cough, cough. I thought I was getting better, but tonight has been miserable. Lesser men would probably be in the hospital. Severe hypochondria can do that to you. Cough, cough . It has been a week of this coughing and I am bored with it now.

I'm off to the land of sun, alligators, and Mickey the Mouse for a sales meeting and trade show this morning. Nothing starts a week of tedium like lack of sleep. The biggest of he big wheels from Der Fatherland will be in attendance. I've not met some of them so I imagine my hacking up a lung  coughing fits that end with a retching gag will impress them to no end. So will the globs of snot I blow into soggy Kleenex stashed in my right pants pocket. "Pleased to meet you, Herr Big Boss. Want to shake my hand?" cough, cough. I guess it would be foolish to consider taking a couple of stogies to smoke in the Florida sunshine. Cough, cough.

I got the grass cut yesterday. The back wheel broke on my mower about half way through the back yard. The plastic hub cracked on the little axle. That is what I get for buying the cheapest model at WalMart. I don't think it can be fixed unless I can find a replacement wheel somewhere. It looks to be a crappy press fit, so I don't know if I can even get the old wheel dismounted. Luckily, I borrowed the SIL's mower to finish the job. Where do you even get rid of a three wheeled mower anyway? I can't afford a new mower right now. Not even a crappy WalMart model. Stuff always breaks down when your bank account is empty. You know it and I do too. It is probably not just my cough that keeps me awake in the middle of the night.

Enjoy your Saturday. I have made other plans. Well, they were made for me. Do you think the boss will buy it that I'm too sick to participate in company dinners and team building just at the time the baseball game starts every night? Cough, cough.

October 14, 2016

For what it's worth

Still hacking up a lung. I'm going to be a blast at the sales meeting next week. Nothing says "fun" like going to a meeting sick. If I'm perfectly honest, I have little to no interest in what is going on in other territories. I'm reasonably sure they don't care what I'm doing. There are no new applications, no new markets for our widgets. Our customer base is defined, either they buy from us, or they don't. As an added bonus, the sales meeting rolls right into a trade show. Woot! I get to stand at a booth and watch people walk by. I am sure I can drive away customers by the dozens with my wet hacking cough. Next week will be one of those weeks where it is good to be me. Is the sarcasm font turned on?

My granddaughter has stayed with us for the past week. It has been great. Mom and dad are back and will pick her up this morning. I'm going to miss her like crazy.

The Cubs will battle the Dodgers for the National League championship. MLB has scheduled the Games in Chicago to start at 7:08 local time. That is 1908 for those who use military time. 1908 was the last time the Cubs won a World Series. Cue Twighlight Zone music.

Here is some Friday Music for your entertainment. I know it ois not what my devoted reader requested, but I think it fits the current times fine. Besides, I dig this tune:


October 13, 2016

I forgot all about it, until just now, but it traumatized me for life

Like cockroaches from the woodwork, every woman who ever met Trump is coming out to say she was groped. Welcome to the attention-whore 21st Century*.where everyone wants to be famous and noticed. Just like  the women who were so traumatized by Bill Cosby, but did not know it until one came forward twenty years later, we are going to see a spate of women who claim Trump kissed them and grabbed their pussies without permission. It won't matter if it is true, it is about getting Hillary elected, it is about getting 15 minutes of fame. It is about destroying Trump in the days before the election.

I'm glad, this way we can focus on trivial nonsense, instead of issues three weeks before the election. If Hillary can keep press focused on The Donald, she will not have to address her horrible policies, her emails, her breaking of FOIA laws, Libya, her anti-coal agenda, or her determination to weaken the Second Amendment through executive order if necessary. We won't have to think about her plans to grow the deficit further or her tax increases. We won't have to discuss ObamaCare or ISIS.

Why not push the Trump is a pig angle? It worked to hide Bill Clinton's scandals. How many people believe today that Ken Starr was investigating Clinton's sex life? How many people think Clinton was impeached over a blow job? If a play works, why not keep using it?



*yes, I get the irony of using a blog to complain about the modern phenomena of social media

October 12, 2016

You all are witnesses

For the record, I'm confident the Chicago Cubs are trying to kill me.

Wayback Wednesday


Taken in 2014. The view from my balcony, Hilton Hawaiian Village, Waikiki, Oahu, Hawaii..

I guess the pot of gold was at the bottom of the Pacific on this day

October 11, 2016

Not exactly chipper this morning

I was up at 2:45 this morning. I did not wake up, my usual MO these days. Instead, I was still up watching the Cubs lose to the Giants.  The usually stellar bullpen blew a lead in he bottom of the eight, giving up three runs to fall behind 5-3. Cubbie Kris Bryant tied the game in the ninth with a two-run homer that just cleared the wall in left field. The game ended in be bottom of the 13th on a walk-off double giving the Giants tne gictory.

As a Cubs fan I feel that same old bile building in my gut as I tell myself that no, I have not seen this movie before. I guess I have to remind myself that you can't win 'em all and that the other teams were bound to win a game or two as the Northsiders try to win it all.

So now I'm tired and cranky. Worse, I developed a cold over the weekend that has now settled in my chest. A hacking cough and running nose makes me not exactly miserable, but darned uncomfortable.  I am working on my presentation for next week's sales meeting. So that does little to improve my dour mood on this beautiful fall Tuesday.

October 10, 2016

Some thoughts on last night's debate

I wanted corn and the wife wanted green bean casserole to accompany the beef and noodle and mashed spuds dinner. I wasn't really all that invested in my choice, I like them both. Green beans won the day.

As for the other debate?  I watched a little football, even less baseball, and a couple of sitcom episodes we had on the DVR. I put the remote through its excercises, but never once considered watching the debate.  I went to bed content.


October 9, 2016

Sometimes a double negative is not positive, rather just twice as negative

Has there ever been two more loathsome candidates for President? Sadly, the bar is pretty low, even going back to the earliest days of the Republic. If you don't think George Washington maneuvered himself into the job, you have not studied history. Politicians are not usually the kind of people anyone wants to pal around with.

Trump is despicable. Yet Hillary has no basis for outrage. I don't think anyone would be shocked if Bill Clinton boasted about how easy it is to seduce women or bragged about groping star-struck fans. Trump's words described several women's encounters with Clinton.

I know this, men are crude. I played on high school sports teams. I have been in locker rooms. I lived in a fraternity -- at an all male school. I have heard crude jokes, lascivious comments, and more misogynistic speech than you can imagine. I have heard women objectified and described by no more than their base physical attributes: " You know that chick, the one with the big tits"? I have met those guys like Trump and Clinton who think every female on Earth wants them. Often they are rich, or extraordinary athletes. Think of that jerk swimmer at Stanford who got off with probation for sexually assaulting a young woman behind a dumpster. His father quipped something to the effect of "his life is ruined over 20 minutes of fun", there are a lot of jerks in this world and most of them want and demand special privileges. Politics is a means to that end with the added bonus of getting to put the little people in place.

I'm sure every budding politician would love to return to the feudal system. They see themselves as lords and kings ruling their subjects. Most, like Trump, Ted Kennedy, or Bill Clinton would have taken advantage of he loathsome right of the lord to have any woman they desired.

Too bad politics is more about gotcha than substance. Too bad we are not looking at the candidates real policies in detail. We spend time debating if Trump was in favor of a war that started a decade and a half ago. Who cares? How about we look at his incoherent foreign policy ideas? What about Clinton's notions of the Second Amendment or immigration, or her disasterous plans to promote green energy? 

Both parties recognize their candidates are flawed and unlikeable, sleazy even for politicians. I am starting to think the main attribute each trumpets most is really the only good thing either can offer: namely for Clinton that she has a vagina and Trump that he has never held office. Beyond that, I'm not sure what either has to offer beyond naked ambition.

I've held my nose more than once in the voting booth. I think this may be te first year I will have to stifle a gag reflex.

October 8, 2016

And then there were ten

Woot. Cubs win! Cubs win! If you are a fan of great pitching you saw it in game one of the Cubs/Giants series last night. Chicago scored on a solo homer in the bottom of the eighth. It was the only run scored by either tem. There were no walks, a scattering of hits, and one bad pitch right down the heart of the plate that Javier Baez sent over the left field wall. Both teams played terrific defense. This is going to be a good series.  Ten more wins to the Championship.

October 6, 2016

Well then

Judging by my metrics, it looks like my readership has little to no interest in my Wayback Wednesday posts. I have one more in the can, then I will not subject you to that feature again for a few years.

Four O'Clock and All is Well

You are tired of reading about it. I'm tired of living it. Once again I was awake at an unholy hour this morning. Three-twenty on the old clock radio found me wide awake. I fought it as long as I could, now I'm here in the recliner pecking away with one finger on the iPad keyboard. I'm going to try to read a little and see if that gets me back to sleep. Perhaps I can cat nap until time to go to work.

October 5, 2016

It does Not Add Up

I hate commercials that insult my intelligence. Lately one of the trace you family roots websites has been running one so insipid and dumb I rant against it every time I see it on my television. This woman claims by using the website she learned she is 26% Native American. That is not a typo, twenty-six percent.

No matter what the LGBT crowd would like us to believe, Mother Nature still says it takes two to make a baby; a man and a woman. Your genetic makeup is fifty percent mother and fifty percent father. The same goes for each of them. In other words, each of your grandparents supplies one fourth of your genetics. You cannot be 26% anything.

To be one quarter Native American one of your grandparents had to be a full-blooded Indian, or two of your married great-grandparents had to each be half Native American. While I suppose you may not have known your grandparents were Kikapoos or Shawnee, or Mohican, I find it nearly impossible the stupid lady in the commercial did not know her mother or father was 50% Native American. I guess you could argue the woman was adopted, but you cannot look up your ancestors without a name to research. The whole premise is just stupid.  Or you could look at it like my wife, who tells me every day as I rant against this ad when it airs during Jeopardy, "Joe, it is just a commercial"

Wayback Wednesday


Nassau, Bahamas 2013

October 4, 2016

Purposely Perplexing

Another early morning. I woke a bit after four, stumbled to the bathroom and then was unable to go back to sleep. So it goes. My ability to compartmentalize and shut down my brain at times in order to relax has left me along with my ability to throw a sharp curve ball. I tell my brain to "Shut up, Donnie", but it just keeps bringing up more stuff.

I know the root cause of my inability to sleep. I just cannot get deep into REM lying on my back. Fifty-four years of habit won't be changed in two and one half months. I snore more on my back, I wriggle around more. It is just the way of things. Hopefully, the Doc will let me sleep on my belly after my next visit later this month. If not, I will eventually get used to sleeping on my back. Or I will keep getting four or five hours of sleep. It gives me something to complain write about. There is that.

Trump makes plenty of gaffes on his own, but the media has gone full in for Clinton. No matter what the orange-skinned one says, the media twists it. I think if he said something about the poor people in Haiti being devastated by Hurricane Matthew, the headlines would say Trump says Haitians deserve to be hit by hurricane because they are poor.

I'm worried about he tobacco crop in he Dominican Republic. Lots of good stogies come from that country. Oh, and the people. Sure, I'm worried about them too.  Honest.

Lighten up. The first two sentences in that last paragraph were a joke. I'm not that cold hearted. Mostly.

That is peobably enough from me for now. I often suspect I'm akin to castor oil, I should be consumed in small doses.

October 3, 2016

"Underpants" is a funny word

I picked the wrong day to go to the ball park. The Cubs rallied in the top of the 9th to beat the Reds in a meaningless game yesterday. Now they wait until Friday to play the winner of the one game wild card series.

If the NFL really wants to grow football in London, and I remain sceptical as to why, then they need a better showcase than they got yesterday. The Colts v. Jags contest pitted two bad teams playing bad football. Penalties, dropped passes, broken plays; it was like watching a high school game. I quip that " I could have caught that pass". In reality one hit from an NFL linebacker and I would collapse on he field crying in the fetal position from pain. But then I don't get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to catch that pass that hit me in the chest.

It is a paperwork Monday. Reorts have to be written, the Man must be informed of my activity on behalf of the company.  If you find my prose limited, stilted, and boring around here, you sure do not want to read one of my call reports detailing a customer visit.  Veni, Vedi, Vici it ain't.

I suspect you have sat in your favorite chair reading my prolific musings and said "Self, I bet it would be near-Nirvana to hang with that Joe"  Well, here is an example of what it is like to be in my sphere on a regular basis: the wife came home from WalMart last night. I refused to go with her because -- well I did not want to. She came in and said the house smelled funny. "What, like a clown?" I quipped.

Thank you, I will be here all week. I did help carry in the bags and put the items away.

I hope you had a great weekend. Now try to have a good Monday. Look at the bright side, every day puts us one day closer to the election being over and we can return to being inundated with car commercials instead of political ads.

October 2, 2016

I know

The Indianapolis Colts are a bad football team

Looking for a Kleenex

Life moves on at a relentless pace. SNL leans left of left politically, nights are a bit colder, and fall looms. Seemingly almost overnight, the tips of leaves on the neighbor's maple are turning red and orange. My trees aren't turning yet, but none are the deep vibrant green they were just a few weeks ago. Most of the wife's plants are blooming in almost desultory fashion, a few tired blooms issued for the sake of form; except the wave petunias, who just grow and bloom and grow. Clearly those plants are imbued with the reproductive prowess of a nineteen year-old.

Usually I like fall, but this year the ending of summer finds me not exactly depressed, but certainly not excited. I'm not sure of the right word, perhaps melancholy?  Like everyone, my life is a juggling act. For the first time in a very long time I sense I am losing control of those balls flying through the air -- finances, work, politics, health, family.  I've lost that fifteen year-old kid's ability to smirk at the world, living in a private joke all of my own, that has sustained me for four decades. I have to work at sarcasm and wit. In short, smiles are harder to come by these days.

I suspect it is just a side effect of growing up and older. For the first time health has truly impacted my life, albeit my issues are minor. Never has my health caused me to spend significant time in bed, unable to even work for days on end -- not broken bones, not brief illness, not even diabetes. This summer has been a mental trial. For the first time since I was a toddler I was unable to do what I wanted, when I wanted to do it. Taking care of someone is hard. Needing care is almost as difficult. Again, my health issues were minor. I'm not sure how I could deal with a real medical problem. 

Ah, hell, cloudy days do this to me. I bet my issues could be readily fixed with a dose of nookie. 

Fifteen year-old me lives! 

October 1, 2016

Driving the Fast Lane on Nostalgia Highway

I am off to see the Cubbies take on the Reds down in the 'Natti today. It looks like we will get wet. I hope it holds off long enough to get some game in. There will be no make up. This contest has no bearing on the standings. The Northsiders are locked into the top seed in the National League. The Reds are riding out the last days before they can go home and rest. I am meeting up with a couple of college buddies. It should be a blast.

Time flies. I mentioned in passing a couple of times that we are in the midst of Birthday season here. It seems just yesterday my kids were little. Now they are all adults. I have no doubt my parents feel the same way about me, even though I have been an adult for nearly four decades.
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