September 19, 2017

Gimme a break

Maybe, finally the crazy "I'm offended by everything" movement has jumped the shark with the hysteria over Trump letting an 11 year-old mow the Rose Garden and the crazy bitch practically fainting over a display of cotton branches at a Texas Hobby Lobby.

The mowing incident is not child labor. Come on, I know you hate Trump, but that is over the top.

If just looking at cotton triggers you, then you have issues way beyond textile fibers.

Envy looks good on you

I live in the best place in America. You may think you do, but I literally do. Money Mag says so. All of you New Yawkers, San Franciscans, and Portlanders can suck an egg. Just think how we would be rated if there was actually beaches, mountains, or scenery!

It is raining. We are set to get a thorough drenching today. I'm not complaining, we need it desperately. All of this moisture will make my pathetic 'maters split. Oh well. We have had a steady, if unspectacular crop this summer. Not enough hot days and too little rain.

Did you watch the Emmy Awards? Me neither. I would rather stab a fork in my thigh than watch an awards show. It is silly, only the narcissists in the entertainment industry vote themselves awards. Could you imagine that in another industry? And the General of the year is....congratulate Jim, the most outstanding urinal scrubber....this year's winner of best sales pitch to a unreceptive prospect goes to...

Have a great day

September 17, 2017

To quote my granddaughter's favorite song, "Let it Go"

I start most days in the same way. I make coffee. I take my meds. I skim the web versions of USA Today and the local TV news. I then read various political/news blogs/commentary. I then either write a post or run through my blog roll. Sometimes I reverse the last two, depending on my level of inspiration on a given day.

For nine months I have been told my vote for Trump is rooted in misogyny and/or white supremacy. Period. Clinton was the most qualified candidate in a generation...blah, blah and I must hate women to not vote for her. Or maybe I wanted to repudiate Obama's legacy because he was a black man. I read articles claiming both notions just this morning.

Funny, when Democrats took over the government after W, it was just a change in direction. When Republicans take over it is about our secret KKK affiliation. The pundits seem to ignore the idea that politics in America has been a see-saw for 25 years. The very notion that a large swath of Americans may not think the role of government is to redistribute, nanny, and invent "rights" is a foreign concept. That some of us want a limited government is so ridiculous that there must be another reason. How could the ignorant rubes not ascribe to liberalism? There must be an underlying cause.

Hillary could not have been defeated because we wanted to step back from liberal policies. It is not possible that we looked at her burgeoning bank account and saw corruption. There is no way that a generation of lies, prevarication, and deceit played a factor. Certainly we should have ignored  her secret server designed to get around public access laws. Her position on our Second Amendment rights could not have played a factor.  No, no we voted against her because we hate women. 

We voted for Trump because we are white supremacists. Sure many of us voted for Obama, but...well now we are Nazi skinheads. The idea that we think the Constitution is the law, not something to be changed by executive fiat, that we support legal immigration but not open borders, that ObamaCare made healthcare worse for many of us -- that is just crazy. Trump voters hate the notion of a powerful woman (despite our support for Sarah Palin) and we clearly want to chuck the 13th, 14th, and 15th Amendments so we can again have slaves toiling away in cotton fields. Yeah, that must be it.

The low approval rating for all of Congress, no matter the party, is just a coincidence. No sane person could decide to vote for an outsider, the only guy who vowed to drain the swamp. No, no, it must have been something else...

Maybe people voted for Trump because he vowed to put jurists on the Supreme Court who would hold to the Constitution, not "international law", one who thinks the phrase "Congress shall pass no law" means exactly that. That we know forcing us to buy a consumer product is not a "tax" and want a Justice that recognizes that fact. I know, that is crazy talk. We hate women and dark-skinned people. Plus, my wife likes it when I tear up her good sheets to wear to the cross burning. I bring the marshmallows, but only white ones. That is the only reasonable explanation. 

I'm sick of it. Reasonable people can disagree. Just because I don't ascribe to your particular brand of politics does not make me deplorable. It certainly does not make me a Nazi or mean I hate women. It does not indicate that I am stupid. It could mean I don't agree with your politics. Nothing more. Sometimes we cast our vote for a candidate, sometimes against another. Most often, we look at the people running for office, ponder if this is really the best we can do, cast our vote, and go home and vomit. 

The election is over. Move on. Find a better candidate next time. 

September 16, 2017

Live blogging my morning brain

People always ask me "Joe, what is it like to be you?". Currently, I live my life as if I am getting checked for a hernia approximately every four minutes: cough, cough. Albeit I am not dropping my cargo shorts so a stranger can feel me up. I guess the good news is I have moved past the coughing jags that last until I am winded and near gagging. The elephant sitting on my chest has been replaced by a large sow, perhaps a buffalo. I am sure there is not a black bear on my chest, and certainly not a giraffe.  My chest tightness rises above the feeling I would get if a hedgehog were perched atop my lungs. I hope that adequately describes the situation?

My head congestion has reverted back to the normal "I hate fall" allergy level snot production.

OK, I admit you did not ask for that update. I suppose, if I have to be honest (and mind you, I don't), no one has ever asked me what it is like to be me. I have been asked "What were you thinking?", or "What is wrong with you"; both queries are often muttered by my wife, usually accompanied by "that look" and a subtle shake of he head. I have no doubt long-time readers of this collection of writings have occasionally wondered what the heck is going on in my brain.

Or not.

In self-defense, in the almost 74 years I have been writing this blog a few crazy thoughts are bound to find their way into electronic print.  Don't even try to tell me you don't have a occasional "moments".

I digress. From what, I am not sure. I have no intention of re-reading this claptrap to figure it out. That is your job as consumer. I throw the stuff onto the wall. You determine what sticks.

You think this entry is weird? You should see/hear/read the other thousand bits of stuff swirling around in my brain. I am only typing out the most coherent ideas. And I might note that all of the cranial chaos is playing out with Led Zeppelin's "Fool in the Rain" playing as a soundtrack in the background.

Welcome to my Saturday morning.

September 15, 2017

Sometimes I worry my little wooden cigar store Indian is going to come to life and kill me

Good morning, Amigos. Joy, joy, it is Friday at last. I'm not sure how good a day it will be, however. I woke a little after 4:00 in the morning and was never able to get back to sleep. I finally gave in and got up a little before five. That means I will fight falling asleep at my desk this afternoon. Tuning in to the ball game on internet radio may or may not help. What? Come on, what other team plays its Friday home games in the afternoon, when baseball is supposed to be played, under the sun like God intended?

Speaking of baseball, Hey Jean, 22!

 I don't think we have any plans for the weekend. I suspect the wife will think of something. She is not one to just sit around. Chock it up to example 4,659 of stuff we do not have in common. I could think of nothing better than watching an old movie or reading as a way to relax. She has to be doing something all of the time. I can't sit around and watch her do housework, I wasn't built that way. So if she decides to start cleaning on a Saturday, I feel compelled to pitch in -- even if I would rather watch Zulu Dawn or an Esther Williams movie for the 34th time.

My coffee cup is empty and so is my reservoir of bloggity words. Enjoy your day.

September 14, 2017

What Happened?

Dear Hillary,

I think you are missing the forest for the trees. It isn't Comey's fault. It isn't the media covering your emails. It is simpler than that. If YOU did not set up a secure server to get around the law, if you didn't erase a bunch of those messages once you were caught, if you don't try to cover it all up, then there would have been no investigation to help sink your Presidential hopes. So that issue is on you.

You, the media, and the Democratic Party pushed the Trump as a candidate during the primaries because you thought you could defeat him, he would be easier than Jeb! or Rubio. Blame yourself. You didn't have to insult 50% of America by calling them deplorable.  Similarly when your party spends most of the election putting down white guys, Christians, and to a lesser extent white women, you shouldn't be surmised they don't support you. That is on you.

When you don't even bother to campaign in a given state, it is on you when that state votes for the other guy. Again, it is on you.

I think we all know the Russian thing has always been a joke.

I could go on, but in a nutshell your new book explains everything many Americans dislike about you. You do anything to make a buck. Even writing a book that blames everyone but Hillary Clinton. You prevaricate, twist the truth, change your story, and blame everyone else for your shortcomings. You have a history of this. A vast right wing conspracy did not get a blow job from Monica, your husband did. A video did not get people killed in Libya, your policies did. The FBI did not cause you to lose to Trump, you did. 

I do not want nor need your "absolution". I did nothing wrong in voting against you. Your hubris knows no bounds, you egomaniac.

Please, just go away. 

There, readers, no need to buy her book. I have covered it in 511 less pages and saved you a cool $18.00.  You are welcome.

September 12, 2017

There ain't no participation trophy here

It may rain today as the outer bands of what was once Irma continue to slide north and west. It may not rain. If it does rain, we won't get much. We need it. I don't think it has rained in the past month. I might be wrong about that.

I could look it up. I won't because I don't care. You don't either. It is dry. There is no dispute about that fact. My little tomatoes are a testament to the fact.

I have a complicated post milling around in my head about the causes of the Civil War. I want to help people understand that we cannot impose modern values on 19th century people. Understanding the times will help us understand why there are statues. That understanding helps us discuss rationally why tearing down our history is counter-productive. Like I said, it is complicated. People way smarter, more erudite, more educated have written books on the subject. I am not sure I can give a reasonable summary in a blog post. We shall see.

Imagine if Congress took the craziest law in California and imposed it on your state. Or if you live in a blue state and Indiana's stupid Sunday Blue Laws* were imposed on you. Imagine that taxes designed to benefit a few states were imposed on the whole nation, hurting the economy of your state. What if the Congress allowed several new states into the country ensuring the Red States will hold a permanent majority in the Legislature? If the situation resulted in succession (I'm looking at you California), would both sides argue they were trying to preserve the Constitution as they understood it?

There was more than slavery at play in the Civil War.

* can't sell cars on Sunday, can't buy carry out beer wine or booze on Sunday...

September 11, 2017

Wherein I offend my readers

Tradition and the calendar dictate I pen a post of remembrance today. I don't have it in me. Not because the emotions are too painful, or the toppling of The Towers represents a milestone in American history, or anything else. Just blame it on time. Honestly, I don't know anyone who lost a loved one on 9/11. I did not know a single victim. I can coldly recount the events of the day, but I don't have a personal loss that ferments in raw emotion. Oh I remember where I was, but my tale is no more and a lot less important than many.

By the mid-1950's Americans were in an economic boom. Pearl Harbor, arguably a more significant, defining, and world-changing event, was two hot wars and one cold war in the past. Did our Dads and Granddads stop to reflect?

The events of 9/11 were the beginning of the great modern politicization of America. The toxic stew that pervades America is a result of religious fanatics crashing airplanes in a desperate act of terrorism designed to destroy our country. Guess what? They partially succeeded. The leftists, and totalitarians on the right, never content to waste a crisis, have succeeded in redefining our society.

Government spies on us with Orwellian intensity. Our freedoms are under assault in the name of security. Christians are prosecuted and persecuted for their beliefs while Islam is taught in the elementary schools. Our young adults huddle in fear from ideas and politics they don't like.

And still Americans are dying for undefined reasons in the high deserts of Afghanistan.

I would say the masterminds of 9/11 succeeded far beyond their wildest imaginations.

It was my intention to let the day pass unnoticed. Instead you get more worthless words than I have penned in a long time. I don't want to go back to September 10th. Life wasn't innocent then either. I'm not that naive. But I wouldn't mind a time where politics didn't pervade every damn second of life. Where football is about sport, not race. Where you could disagree with the President, but that didn't make him the anti-Christ. A time where a statue was a place for pigeons to crap. A time where the notion that we let six year-olds have sex change hormones was unthinkable.

I'm not in the mood to reflect, remember, or reminisce. It is just another September day. I'm good with that.

September 10, 2017

I have questions

I managed to sleep in my bed last night for the first time in about two weeks. I was sick of dozing/sleeping in the recliner.  I think I managed to go most of the night without coughing. Snores that would drown out a grizzly bear did not wake me. Only the wife knows for sure. I'll ask her if I kept her awake when she gets up.

What is wrong with people that they cannot shut their pie hole at the movie theater? We don't need constant commentary, or a recap of what we just saw on the big screen. I know he kissed her. I just watched it happen. For the most part it is not the youth of today being rude, it is middle-aged women who should know better. Maybe it is all of that perfume eating away the brain cells that makes them forget they are not at home.

If hurricane winds can knock down buildings, uproot trees and hurl coconuts like cannon balls, how do small animals and rodents survive? Why isn't there footage of rats or squirrels hurling through the air? I want to see footage of an Everglades python whipping in the wind like an old piece of rope. Where do the tiny chickadees, sparrows, or hummingbirds hide out to escape nature's fury? How do they survive without batteries and bottled water? Where do mosquitoes and bees and spiders hide out? There is so much stuff I do not know.

What the heck, Chicago Cubs?

September 9, 2017

September 8, 2017

It was a cool September morning

They say a picture speaks a thousand words. That screen shot of a pouting Tom Brady on the bench a few minutes before the end of that football game was worthy of Tolstoy. Bwahahaha, suck it pundits, your dream of an undefeated Patriots season was crushed by the Kansas City Chiefs.

Sometimes I think the brutal tar and feathers practice of our forebears should be brought back into fashion. If anyone needed a ride on a rail it is the top executives of Equifax. Not for the massive security breach, but that they took the time to sell off some stock before they announced the breach, knowing the value of the company would take a deserving hit.  These executives make capitalists everywhere look bad. I'm not advocating brutal mob violence, but I would give a small cheer of approbation in this case.

Why does Congress bother with a debt ceiling anyway? We all know they are just going to vote to allow more spending. I can tell you now there will be additional grandstanding in December before the politicians of both parties agree that they need to keep on spending more of your money.  When was the last time a spending "ceiling" was ever a limit? The day before never, maybe? What a joke.

The good thing about a short week is that it is a short week. In the case of this particular section of the calendar I cannot think of anything else good about it.  It has been a sucky week. You don't need, nor care about details. I'm still sick for starters, the rest, I won't bother to bore you with.

Football is back, baseball is heading into postseason form and it is a Friday. I can live with that. Keep up the faith, readers.

September 5, 2017


Here we are on the second Monday this week. It was a terrific long weekend and I hope yours was too.

Now I'm back to work. It is lunchtime and my first break.

The granddaughter started preschool today.  When did she get so grown up? I know spending time with someone besides her immediate family, and the wife and I is a good thing. She does pretty well for a kid not 3 until December. She knows every letter sound, can mostly count to 7 and knows her basic colors. She can identify all of the shapes --  including hard ones like diamond and oval. She is learning stuff here and at home. She just needs to hang out with rugrats her own age.

The strong front that promised rain fizzled before it reached here last night. Harvey's worn out remains did not make it far enough north Friday either.  It remains dry as a popcorn fart.

Enjoy your Monday Tuesday.

September 4, 2017

Deep thoughts

Spellcheck may be my friend, but I am sure getting sick of him correcting me all of the time.

September 3, 2017

I'm doing a great Doc Holliday Impersonation

We went to a wonderful outdoor wedding yesterday. The weather was perfect. We got to spend time with my wife's family, something we do too little of. I managed to not hack and cough through the ceremony. I made up for it when I tried to sleep later in the evening. It was a rough night in the old recliner. Flat in bed would have been worse.

I think the wife has work scheduled for me today. The garage is a mess of junk from when the kids moved back home. We have enough musical gear to start a decent band: amps, speakers, mic stands, guitars, drums, keyboards. All items the oldest boy could not get into his car when he headed west. We have the youngest boy's extra TV, stand, lamps, sweeper, and boxes of "stuff".  All needs to be rearranged a stacked neatly to one side so the wife can put her car back in me garage. If I may coin a phrase; "Winter is coming" (It is catchy and might just become the basis for a cultural phenomenon, I think). She wants her car back inside.

Monday is a day off work. We are invited to a BBQ. I've got to shed this darned cold. Cigars and beer are on the menu with smoked chicken and other fare. It is supposed to be in the mid-eighties. I might even jump into the pool.

In case you did not notice the natural fresh scent of this post, it is live. No canned goods for you today. That means I obviously did not have to jet off to the Orient last Thursday for a week or so in China as was originally planned. My trip has been postponed for a bit. I can live with that.

Have a great Sunday.

September 2, 2017

Bold NFL Predictions

It is a chilly start to the long weekend. Yesterday was decidedly fall-like with daytime temperatures in the mid-sixties. Harvey ripped some rain south of here but we saw nary a drop. It was cloudy. I was stuck at my desk anyway. Temperatures are supposed to rebound back into the 80s for the balance of the long weekend,

I still have a cold. It has settled in my chest. I hacked all night long again and for the third night in a row slept semi-upright in the recliner in my office. I have had this coughing thing several times in the past several years and it seems to take forever to go away. I never got sick back when I was fat. I went more than twenty years without seeing a doctor or missing a day of work. I drop 55 pounds and I feel like I'm sick all of the time. I still don't miss work, but it is a little easier to suck it up when you work from home.

So it goes. You didn't stop by to hear me complain. I hope not anyway. If so, you have some real issues.  Unfortunately, complaints are about all I have to offer you today.

I think I will saunter through my blog roll and then try to find some old movie to watch. Maybe I will go for a walk. Oh, who am I fooling?

Enjoy your Saturday.

September 1, 2017

Not so deep observation of the day

It is clear that The Trumpster could rush into a burning house, rescue two orphans, a puppy, and a trio of kittens and the media and a significant quantity of tne population would find something wrong in the way he did it.

It has moved way beyond politics as normal.
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