I don’t like to be touched. Outside of my wife, hugging makes me uncomfortable. My wife’s family likes to hug, so I just bear it, but I don’t like it. Professionally I have to do handshakes. I prefer them short and firm with no extraneous elbow grasping.
I don’t even like a friendly pat on the arm. Simply, I prefer to have no physical contact with my fellow human beings.
The bat soup flu likely has put an end to these hands-on gestures.
I’m good with that.
April 30, 2020
April 29, 2020
Sunday Paper
A very drunk gent checked into a hotel late one Saturday night. He awoke very ill and summoned a bellboy to fetch him a bottle of whiskey and a Sunday newspaper.
The bellboy was gone a long time. When he returned, the man remarked, “It must be hard to buy a bottle in this town on Sunday.”
“There was no trouble with the liquor,” replied the bellboy, “but it’s tough finding a Sunday paper on Tuesday."
April 28, 2020
Speeding
It was the last 10 minutes of his shift on the highway, and this cop had yet to catch a real speeder and score a huge ticket. Just as he was about to give up and drive away, a car appeared on the horizon, moving extremely fast.
The cop pulled up his radar and, score, the driver was going 20 miles per hour over the speed limit. He jumped in his car and turned his siren on, motioning the driver to pull over. However, the driver just sped up and kept going for a few more miles before finally pulling over.
The cop got out of his car and the driver rolled down his window.
“Oh, I’ve been waiting for you all day”, the cop said with a wide smile to the driver who happened to be a young girl.
The girl replied with a wink, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.”
The cop laughed and said, “Oh yeah? So why didn’t you pull over right away?”
“Well, daddy told me to always play hard to get.”
When he stopped laughing, the cop let her go with a warning.
April 27, 2020
that is the way you do it
A sentence or two about the weather: current and future.
Discuss what I did yesterday.
Talk about plans for today.
Optional: discuss politics.
Mandatory: Complain.
Occasional: throw up a video, picture, cartoon, or joke.
Wish readers a safe/good/prosperous day
Discuss what I did yesterday.
Talk about plans for today.
Optional: discuss politics.
Mandatory: Complain.
Occasional: throw up a video, picture, cartoon, or joke.
Wish readers a safe/good/prosperous day
April 26, 2020
cheap coffee pods are no substitute for quality
Yesterday’s rain held off until early evening and the day turned out pretty nice. I went for a long walk on the beach through the neighborhoods, listening to a history podcast the while. As I have often stated, education is a lifelong process.
In the afternoon I cleaned out my humidor. I put my stogie collection into my backup humidor while I wiped down the cedar lining of the bigger cherrywood box. What, you don’t have a backup humidor? The smaller unit is one I got as part of a cigar deal a few years ago. As soon as I’m done virtually chatting with you I will get my fine smokes transferred back to the rehumidified big box. I can take an inventory at that time too.
In other news, nothing. Life in lockdown continues.
Have a great Sunday and stay safe.
In the afternoon I cleaned out my humidor. I put my stogie collection into my backup humidor while I wiped down the cedar lining of the bigger cherrywood box. What, you don’t have a backup humidor? The smaller unit is one I got as part of a cigar deal a few years ago. As soon as I’m done virtually chatting with you I will get my fine smokes transferred back to the rehumidified big box. I can take an inventory at that time too.
In other news, nothing. Life in lockdown continues.
Have a great Sunday and stay safe.
April 25, 2020
Middle Aged Selfies
I think it is Saturday. No, I’m sure it is. I expected rain and gloomy skies when I woke up, instead it is sunny. I guess I shouldn’t believe everything the weather girl tells me. I also suspect I shouldn’t call her the weather girl either. Somehow “weather woman” doesn’t flow as neatly in the narrative. Your opinion my vary and if it differs from mine it is likely ill-formed and wrong. Anyway, rain should move in this afternoon.
So, does anyone enjoy the Sunday Pictures feature? It occurs to me those posts elicit an ennui even greater than my usual soporific efforts. Why do I suspect this is true? You don’t read my Sunday posts. It could be the low readership of my Sunday efforts is just a byproduct of a calendar page. It could be those posts are just boring. Who wants to look at someone else's vacation photos?
Who knows?
Similarly, why is an Old post from 2005 generating hundreds of visits this week?
I don’t know the answer to that either.
Boy, I was angry in those days.
Enjoy your Saturday.
So, does anyone enjoy the Sunday Pictures feature? It occurs to me those posts elicit an ennui even greater than my usual soporific efforts. Why do I suspect this is true? You don’t read my Sunday posts. It could be the low readership of my Sunday efforts is just a byproduct of a calendar page. It could be those posts are just boring. Who wants to look at someone else's vacation photos?
Who knows?
Similarly, why is an Old post from 2005 generating hundreds of visits this week?
I don’t know the answer to that either.
Boy, I was angry in those days.
Enjoy your Saturday.
April 24, 2020
And I live by the river
Not feeling it today. Yesterday’s facetious effort fried my creativity apparently. How about some music for your Friday?
Has it really been 40 years?
I feel old.
Has it really been 40 years?
I feel old.
April 23, 2020
Clarification
It occurs to me that casual readers may have a skewed impression of my wife. She actually is one of the kindest, helpful, and good natured individuals in this world. In truth, our disagreements are few and far between.
As related below, she did not point to a spot to hang a picture and say “here” , she asked me if I would hang that picture sometime. I asked where and she pointed.
In truth, she has been my best friend since I was 17.
I think I copied that right.
Did I forget anything, Dear?
As related below, she did not point to a spot to hang a picture and say “here” , she asked me if I would hang that picture sometime. I asked where and she pointed.
In truth, she has been my best friend since I was 17.
I think I copied that right.
Did I forget anything, Dear?
Domestic Bliss
It is overcast. I would not be surprised if it started raining at any time. The weather lady predicted it would.
I hung a new picture for the wife. She hints more decorative changes are in the works. Whatever. If and when my stimulus check arrives a few walls will get painted, I am informed.
I didn’t come here to complain.
For once.
Anyway, the walls in most rooms were last painted when we moved in back in 2013. It is time. The living room and kitchen are really in need. My question to the Decorator in Chief was why am I putting holes in the walls if we are going to paint those very walls in the next weeks? I suppose I was speaking in Charlie Brown adult voice (whawha whaaa wha) because she did not respond. She just held the new picture up and said “here”. Done.
Go along to get along in these quarantined together times. There really isn’t another option.
I hung a new picture for the wife. She hints more decorative changes are in the works. Whatever. If and when my stimulus check arrives a few walls will get painted, I am informed.
I didn’t come here to complain.
For once.
Anyway, the walls in most rooms were last painted when we moved in back in 2013. It is time. The living room and kitchen are really in need. My question to the Decorator in Chief was why am I putting holes in the walls if we are going to paint those very walls in the next weeks? I suppose I was speaking in Charlie Brown adult voice (whawha whaaa wha) because she did not respond. She just held the new picture up and said “here”. Done.
Go along to get along in these quarantined together times. There really isn’t another option.
April 22, 2020
I’ve been missing you
Earth Day is off to a cool start. It is supposed to warm to nearly seventy this afternoon. The stiff breeze from yesterday seems to have dissipated. I may celebrate the pseudo holiday by spraying the lawn for weeds. I have to check the label on the weed killer. Rain is scheduled to move in tonight and I don’t want Mother Nature to dilute my poison in a stealth counteroffensive.
Is it weird that after being stuck under almost house arrest conditions for a month I feel I need a vacation? I just want to get out of here. I see the crowds on the newly reopened Florida beaches and wish I was there. I have spent a significant amount of my working life traveling and I am itching to get on the road; personally, professionally, randomly. I could, I have beaucoup hotel points. I am only stopped by bat soup flu restrictions, and lack of money. Mostly lack of money. The wife would go. Just a fake threat to twist her arm and the suitcase would be on the bed and packing would be underway.
So it goes.
Is it weird that after being stuck under almost house arrest conditions for a month I feel I need a vacation? I just want to get out of here. I see the crowds on the newly reopened Florida beaches and wish I was there. I have spent a significant amount of my working life traveling and I am itching to get on the road; personally, professionally, randomly. I could, I have beaucoup hotel points. I am only stopped by bat soup flu restrictions, and lack of money. Mostly lack of money. The wife would go. Just a fake threat to twist her arm and the suitcase would be on the bed and packing would be underway.
So it goes.
April 21, 2020
Losing the popularity contest
The Second Civil War in the US will be nothing like the first. It won’t be great armies and semi-defined battle lines. It will be neighbor vs. neighbor, city against suburb. It will be vicious, and bloody, and mean. Think Kosovo, think Rwanda. Think Kansas and Missouri in the years of and leading to our first Civil War. Think of the western Carolinas in the Revolution. Think of the Vendee uprising during the French Revolution.
There will be one difference. It will be short. Sure guerrilla war will rage on, but unless the military joins in, the government wins. Some of you will not like that position.
Face facts. The police WILL side with the government. They always have. Sure some sheriffs and isolated cops will throw in with the dissidents, but most will cleave to the law and order position. Police have always been on the side of authoritarian regimes. It wasn’t the army sniffing out counterrevolutionaries in Revolutionary France, nor Soviet Russia, nor Germany, China, or Southeast Asia. It was politicians and their police henchmen.
Look no further than the police and their willingness to exercise authority in this pandemic. The police showed up in Wisconsin to force a girl to take down an Instagram post. Cops were taking down license plate numbers at a non-governmental approved church service in Mississippi. How many in those departments stood up to remind their brothers in the thin blue line our rights are not provided by the Constitution, but God-given.
When the next Civil War erupts, the police will be better armed. Every small city and upwards has armored vehicles. They have automatic weapons. They have communications and unit cohesion. The dissidents will have little of that. I don’t care if you served in a Vietnam, or the Gulf, or Iraq. There you were part of a team, and that experience should reinforce the fact that a loose network of snipers, bombers, and surprise attacks can cause havoc and death, but cannot win.
The real wild card is what role the military will take. The National Guard will be key. Do the citizen soldiers side with the Government or with their neighbors? My guess it will vary by armory and by individual soldier. Some rural units will break into the armory and fight against the Government. Others will join the other side. The Regular Army will likely stay out of it.
The bottom line is you may be well armed. You might have a large stockpile of munitions. You do not have drones, or fighter jets or communications or small unit tactics and cohesion. Do you have body armor? Artillery, explosives? Have you studied small unit tactics? Do you have a network of surveillance cameras already in place in the cities and towns? Do you control the water and electricity? Do you have oil reserves?
Without organization, without support, you are just fantasizing. You are no different than the nut jobs who think California could be a viable separate country. When violence erupts, a majority of Americans will want no part of it. Fight the battles in Congress and the Statehouse.
There will be one difference. It will be short. Sure guerrilla war will rage on, but unless the military joins in, the government wins. Some of you will not like that position.
Face facts. The police WILL side with the government. They always have. Sure some sheriffs and isolated cops will throw in with the dissidents, but most will cleave to the law and order position. Police have always been on the side of authoritarian regimes. It wasn’t the army sniffing out counterrevolutionaries in Revolutionary France, nor Soviet Russia, nor Germany, China, or Southeast Asia. It was politicians and their police henchmen.
Look no further than the police and their willingness to exercise authority in this pandemic. The police showed up in Wisconsin to force a girl to take down an Instagram post. Cops were taking down license plate numbers at a non-governmental approved church service in Mississippi. How many in those departments stood up to remind their brothers in the thin blue line our rights are not provided by the Constitution, but God-given.
When the next Civil War erupts, the police will be better armed. Every small city and upwards has armored vehicles. They have automatic weapons. They have communications and unit cohesion. The dissidents will have little of that. I don’t care if you served in a Vietnam, or the Gulf, or Iraq. There you were part of a team, and that experience should reinforce the fact that a loose network of snipers, bombers, and surprise attacks can cause havoc and death, but cannot win.
The real wild card is what role the military will take. The National Guard will be key. Do the citizen soldiers side with the Government or with their neighbors? My guess it will vary by armory and by individual soldier. Some rural units will break into the armory and fight against the Government. Others will join the other side. The Regular Army will likely stay out of it.
The bottom line is you may be well armed. You might have a large stockpile of munitions. You do not have drones, or fighter jets or communications or small unit tactics and cohesion. Do you have body armor? Artillery, explosives? Have you studied small unit tactics? Do you have a network of surveillance cameras already in place in the cities and towns? Do you control the water and electricity? Do you have oil reserves?
Without organization, without support, you are just fantasizing. You are no different than the nut jobs who think California could be a viable separate country. When violence erupts, a majority of Americans will want no part of it. Fight the battles in Congress and the Statehouse.
April 20, 2020
I see leaves of green
It is bright and sunny through the blog room window. Seasonal temperatures will warm the afternoon into the low sixties, if the weather woman is accurate. I think I will fire up the grill for dinner and char some burgers or perhaps a nice steak from our carefully hoarded stash of beef in the garage freezer. Or not, if the Boss decrees otherwise. While our votes are equal here at the democratic nation of Joe, the fair spouse has veto power. She wields this power not because I’m a weak, easily pushed around mouse, but rather I’m a firm believer that a happy wife makes life so much more pleasant. Plus, that’s what you do when you are cooped up with someone day after day after day after day.
Cooperate, or murder. Sometimes it is a fine line.
Relax. It is a joke people.
The neighbors had another small party Saturday. I don’t really care, it is none of my business. But the longer people keep doing this kind of stuff the longer we are stuck in the house.
In other news, there is no other news. My life is your life.
Stay safe, wash your hands.
How about a little music to wrap up our virtual conversation today? This is for long departed blog buddy Yabu, May he Rest In Peace:
Cooperate, or murder. Sometimes it is a fine line.
Relax. It is a joke people.
The neighbors had another small party Saturday. I don’t really care, it is none of my business. But the longer people keep doing this kind of stuff the longer we are stuck in the house.
In other news, there is no other news. My life is your life.
Stay safe, wash your hands.
How about a little music to wrap up our virtual conversation today? This is for long departed blog buddy Yabu, May he Rest In Peace:
April 19, 2020
A toss of the coin
Legend has it a coin toss determined the fate of the rock legends who died in a plane rash near Clear Lake, Iowa on February 3, 1959. Here’s the thing, Buddy Holly was going. He charted the plane. The coin determined who got to skip the uncomfortable bus ride and fly ahead of the tour with him. Heads you lose, tails, you lose.
So for this week’s Sunday picture, we are going to Clear Lake, because of course I’ve been there.
This from March of 2015. This “statue” or art work creatively marks the nearest intersection to the crash site. The actual crash site is a few hundred yards down a muddy fence row. The physical crash site is marked with a guitar made from steel and items left from visitors. When I visited there was a heap of dead and plastic flowers. Legend says the memorial is on the spot Buddy’s body was found.
I also visited the Surf Ballroom , but it was closed the day I was there, plus I had hours to drive get to the hotel for my next morning gig somewhere in southern Minnesota.
So for this week’s Sunday picture, we are going to Clear Lake, because of course I’ve been there.
This from March of 2015. This “statue” or art work creatively marks the nearest intersection to the crash site. The actual crash site is a few hundred yards down a muddy fence row. The physical crash site is marked with a guitar made from steel and items left from visitors. When I visited there was a heap of dead and plastic flowers. Legend says the memorial is on the spot Buddy’s body was found.
I also visited the Surf Ballroom , but it was closed the day I was there, plus I had hours to drive get to the hotel for my next morning gig somewhere in southern Minnesota.
April 18, 2020
I don’t think that is going up on the living room wall
It dig that painting below. It by Alphonse de Neuville and called “The Defence of Rorke’s Drift”.
My office walls are currently decorated with sports-themed stuff: a large picture of Wrigley Field, One of Lucas Oil Stadium, a framed picture of The Chicago Tribune front page from a certain day in 2016 (Ahem, I will describe it no further out of respect for my internet friend Jean).
One day, I would like to change those decorations with other prints, like the one below or perhaps the cowboys around the campfire I discussed back in a post from 1937.
I don’t know. I like the way my office is decorated. What I need is a giant man cave where I can have room to put up any art that catches my fancy. Of course that would involve actually buying lottery tickets...
My office walls are currently decorated with sports-themed stuff: a large picture of Wrigley Field, One of Lucas Oil Stadium, a framed picture of The Chicago Tribune front page from a certain day in 2016 (Ahem, I will describe it no further out of respect for my internet friend Jean).
One day, I would like to change those decorations with other prints, like the one below or perhaps the cowboys around the campfire I discussed back in a post from 1937.
I don’t know. I like the way my office is decorated. What I need is a giant man cave where I can have room to put up any art that catches my fancy. Of course that would involve actually buying lottery tickets...
April 17, 2020
Washing the money
According to reliable sources, it is Friday. I wouldn’t know. These unemployed Corona virus days are starting to blend into an endless monotony of web surfing, book reading, and TV binge watching.
On the latter, I’m currently deep into Ozark on Netflix. I give it a hearty recommendation. As an aside, I find it hilarious that the “warnings “ at the beginning of each episode list the usual “language, violence, nudity”, but also “smoking”. Humph.
I’m still waiting on the commenters who chastised me for not believing Chrissy Ford on Kavanaugh to explain why the woman who has pointed a sexual assault allegation at Wannabe Prez Joe Biden should not be believed? I guess it is the Bill Clinton rule, lefty libs get a free pass on that stuff.
For the record, I’m skeptical this time too, but the “Creepy Joe” meme has been around for a long time as reports of unwanted touching are nothing new.
It is cold and damp today. A chance of snow is possible, but more likely north of the old homestead. A return to more spring-like weather is in the forecast next week.
I have to be honest, I’m getting a little stir crazy. If there is any bright side to the quarantine, blog hits are up. Certainly not up to past glory day levels, but double recent historical hits. Thank you to each of you who takes time to read my drivel. Say “hey” in the comments some time.
Stay safe my friends.
On the latter, I’m currently deep into Ozark on Netflix. I give it a hearty recommendation. As an aside, I find it hilarious that the “warnings “ at the beginning of each episode list the usual “language, violence, nudity”, but also “smoking”. Humph.
I’m still waiting on the commenters who chastised me for not believing Chrissy Ford on Kavanaugh to explain why the woman who has pointed a sexual assault allegation at Wannabe Prez Joe Biden should not be believed? I guess it is the Bill Clinton rule, lefty libs get a free pass on that stuff.
For the record, I’m skeptical this time too, but the “Creepy Joe” meme has been around for a long time as reports of unwanted touching are nothing new.
It is cold and damp today. A chance of snow is possible, but more likely north of the old homestead. A return to more spring-like weather is in the forecast next week.
I have to be honest, I’m getting a little stir crazy. If there is any bright side to the quarantine, blog hits are up. Certainly not up to past glory day levels, but double recent historical hits. Thank you to each of you who takes time to read my drivel. Say “hey” in the comments some time.
Stay safe my friends.
April 16, 2020
Honey Trouble
Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being out late the night before.
The first man signed to his friend, “My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get into trouble.”
The second deaf man signed back, “Boy you’re lucky. My wife was wide awake, waiting for me in bed, and she started swearing at me and giving me hell for being out so late.”
The first deaf man asked, “So, what did you do?”
The second man replied, “I turned out the light.”
April 15, 2020
A clear and present danger
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.
Mr. President, your powers are not “total”. A simple reading of the Law of the Land clearly demonstrates that, even in times of crisis.
April 14, 2020
There is a very fine line between “for your own good” and tyranny
If I want it, I need it. Therefore it is essential.
It is not up to any petty tyrannical power-hungry politician to decide what is essential. Once we let them dictate what we can buy then they can dictate how you live.
Once they determine “they” know best, your freedom is gone.
Today it is paint, bug spray, flowers, or a new TV.
Tomorrow it will be soft drinks, candy bars, and Twinkies banned for your own good. Do we want bureaucrats deciding what you can purchase?
Why not just set up government stores where we can wait in line to get our ration of meat, bread, and toilet paper?
One doesn’t have to go too far back in time to see such practices put in place by power hungry tyrants and leftists in general. The time to stop such nonsense is now. Call your local Representative and demand action. Protest. Support the black market. The Invisible Hand always, always triumphs.
Inspired by This post at Ed’s place.
Frankly, I am getting more than a little tired of the pseudo- martial law imposed by our self-imagined betters. As things improve health-wise I expect restrictions removed, not increased. I’m looking northward, Michigan. And just a few miles south, Governor Holcomb.
These are times that try Men’s souls, indeed.
It is not up to any petty tyrannical power-hungry politician to decide what is essential. Once we let them dictate what we can buy then they can dictate how you live.
Once they determine “they” know best, your freedom is gone.
Today it is paint, bug spray, flowers, or a new TV.
Tomorrow it will be soft drinks, candy bars, and Twinkies banned for your own good. Do we want bureaucrats deciding what you can purchase?
Why not just set up government stores where we can wait in line to get our ration of meat, bread, and toilet paper?
One doesn’t have to go too far back in time to see such practices put in place by power hungry tyrants and leftists in general. The time to stop such nonsense is now. Call your local Representative and demand action. Protest. Support the black market. The Invisible Hand always, always triumphs.
Inspired by This post at Ed’s place.
Frankly, I am getting more than a little tired of the pseudo- martial law imposed by our self-imagined betters. As things improve health-wise I expect restrictions removed, not increased. I’m looking northward, Michigan. And just a few miles south, Governor Holcomb.
These are times that try Men’s souls, indeed.
April 13, 2020
Because I want to
I think I will just have a stay at home day today. I’ll just hang out with the wife, read a little, and watch TV.
How about some music for your Monday?
More.
It is windy as heck today. I can hear the wind moaning around the eaves and roaring in the just-coming-to-leaf trees. The out front maple is swaying. I’m sure the big willow is whipping like a bosun’s cat o’nine tails on a defaulter. That also means I will have another 16,256 sticks to pick up in the backyard. All of this to lament I should have posted a tune from The Association. I won’t because I really hate that song. You’ll have to live with some classic Jones.
What? I forget everyone is not an old fart. Windy is the song of which I write.
There, 3 minutes I’ll never get back.
How about some music for your Monday?
More.
It is windy as heck today. I can hear the wind moaning around the eaves and roaring in the just-coming-to-leaf trees. The out front maple is swaying. I’m sure the big willow is whipping like a bosun’s cat o’nine tails on a defaulter. That also means I will have another 16,256 sticks to pick up in the backyard. All of this to lament I should have posted a tune from The Association. I won’t because I really hate that song. You’ll have to live with some classic Jones.
What? I forget everyone is not an old fart. Windy is the song of which I write.
There, 3 minutes I’ll never get back.
April 11, 2020
The way she looked, the color of her hair
She’s not there. At least that is what Carlos and the boys are saying on the little office music player / spy machine. Serious guitar work is involved.
Years ago when my daughter moved out on her own, I typed up a bunch of our favorite and everyday recipes. Many items were things I just made, no recipe was previously ever written. I put the recipes on 8x11 sheets and slipped them inside plastic protectors in a loose leaf binder. I made one for us too. In all honesty, for most things I cook I use the recipe for oven temperature and cooking times. I know most of the ingredients.
Over the years the wife and I have tucked recipes, cards, notes and magazine pages into the pockets of the binder. Mostly she has. Some of those dishes have become current favorites.
We had a bunch of new binders and cover sheets we cleaned out of the boy’s desk when he moved out, so this week I started cleaning up the every day cookbook. I have started typing up some of the stray notes and cards we use. Some of the scrap paper recipes we have never made. They are going into the trash. Others are being modified. In all, a new binder is in order.
Right now binders, plastic cover sheets and recipes are spread in piles on my office floor. What should have been an afternoon undertaking has stretched three days as the wife vacillates in typical fashion over what to include and what not to include. I find this vaguely humorous since I do 95% of the cooking. I was done with the project and just offered her a chance to include any desserts or baked goods she wanted to add, like her chocolate chip cookie recipe (the original concept was to give my daughter recipes for stuff I always cooked. I don’t bake much, so few desserts were originally included) . So it goes.
Here is a musical interlude for your Saturday:
Here are The Zombies doing the original:
Years ago when my daughter moved out on her own, I typed up a bunch of our favorite and everyday recipes. Many items were things I just made, no recipe was previously ever written. I put the recipes on 8x11 sheets and slipped them inside plastic protectors in a loose leaf binder. I made one for us too. In all honesty, for most things I cook I use the recipe for oven temperature and cooking times. I know most of the ingredients.
Over the years the wife and I have tucked recipes, cards, notes and magazine pages into the pockets of the binder. Mostly she has. Some of those dishes have become current favorites.
We had a bunch of new binders and cover sheets we cleaned out of the boy’s desk when he moved out, so this week I started cleaning up the every day cookbook. I have started typing up some of the stray notes and cards we use. Some of the scrap paper recipes we have never made. They are going into the trash. Others are being modified. In all, a new binder is in order.
Right now binders, plastic cover sheets and recipes are spread in piles on my office floor. What should have been an afternoon undertaking has stretched three days as the wife vacillates in typical fashion over what to include and what not to include. I find this vaguely humorous since I do 95% of the cooking. I was done with the project and just offered her a chance to include any desserts or baked goods she wanted to add, like her chocolate chip cookie recipe (the original concept was to give my daughter recipes for stuff I always cooked. I don’t bake much, so few desserts were originally included) . So it goes.
Here is a musical interlude for your Saturday:
Here are The Zombies doing the original:
April 10, 2020
Running in the rain
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day, she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway.
“Oh my God, hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband’s home early!” she said.
“I can’t jump out the window. It’s raining out there!”
“If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both!” she replied. “He’s gotta hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!”
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window. As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town’s annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
“Do you always run in the nude?’ one asked.
“Oh yes!” he replied, gasping in air. “It feels so wonderfully free!”
Another runner moved along side. “Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?”
“Oh, yes” our friend answered breathlessly. “That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!”
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, “Do you always wear a condom when you run?”
“Nope. Only when it’s raining.”
April 9, 2020
Riding the storm out
Yesterday saw temperatures almost reach eighty. And in typical spring weather, today’s highs will be in the forties. There is even a slight chance of snow. Sigh.
It was great wearing shorts and a T-shirt for a couple of days. Now we are looking at cool weather for the next week.
I’m bracing myself with another bout on hold with the unemployment folks. I spent more than 8 hours on hold Tuesday, getting disconnected three times while being transferred from the call center to someone who can actually help me understand why I cannot file for the extended benefits. I was on hold for nearly two hours yesterday without ever connecting to anyone prior to traveling to the northern part of the state for a funeral.
It was strange standing in separation at the cemetery while the minister spoke over a loud speaker. We were in immediate-family groups, spread out in an area roughly half a football field. For the most part everyone did a good job of social distancing. My Brother-in-law, who we haven’t seen since Christmas, could not resist hugging my wife. She tried backing away to no avail. So it goes.
Here is a bad cell phone video of the storm rolling into the neighborhood last evening. Check out the weird streaming clouds. The winds must have been hundreds of miles an hour aloft.
April 8, 2020
That’s how it is done
Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business.
Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn’t explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred’s house, walked home, and left it there all night.
April 7, 2020
Bat Soup Flu Diary Day 28
I’m sporting shorts and a T-shirt as I sip coffee this morning. It is forecasted to be a fine spring day. In typical spite, Mother Nature will replace this gorgeous weather with near freezing windy conditions starting Thursday. So it goes.
I wrapped up watching The Sopranos yesterday. What the heck? That’s how they end it? Seriously?
Made a meatloaf for dinner last night. Mashed spuds, asparagus and crescent rolls filled out the meal. It wasn’t bad. I added some brown sugar to the ketchup glaze. Normally, I’m not a big fan of meatloaf. My mother made the worst meatloaf ever. I never developed a fondness as a consequence.
I am currently on hold with the unemployment office. I tried unsuccessfully to connect yesterday. I tried more than 90 times to get through. I felt like a teen girl trying to be the 100th caller in a radio station giveaway. I don’t care how long I’m on hold, as long as I can talk to someone. That’s what headphones are for!
Go forth and have a great day.
I wrapped up watching The Sopranos yesterday. What the heck? That’s how they end it? Seriously?
Made a meatloaf for dinner last night. Mashed spuds, asparagus and crescent rolls filled out the meal. It wasn’t bad. I added some brown sugar to the ketchup glaze. Normally, I’m not a big fan of meatloaf. My mother made the worst meatloaf ever. I never developed a fondness as a consequence.
I am currently on hold with the unemployment office. I tried unsuccessfully to connect yesterday. I tried more than 90 times to get through. I felt like a teen girl trying to be the 100th caller in a radio station giveaway. I don’t care how long I’m on hold, as long as I can talk to someone. That’s what headphones are for!
Go forth and have a great day.
April 6, 2020
The Wheels of the State Go Round and Round
The wife has her phone set up to get notified every time an email arrives. I think she forgot to turn it down because it dinged often and loudly all night long, especially around five AM. After the third or fourth random “Ding” I got up for the day. So it goes.
The governor announced a few weeks ago unemployment benefits have been extended another 13 weeks. Last week was my last normal payment. I tried all week to find out what to do, but of course the phone lines are closed, there is no email, and the website doesn’t offer guidance.
I tried to file a weekly voucher or file a new claim yesterday, but neither option is available to me because the system thinks I’m done with my benefit. That’s a long-winded way of reporting I won’t get any money this week. I’m not sure how I am to tell the State I’m still unemployed.
Me and a million other Hoosiers.
We won’t starve. We have enough food to last a few weeks and the utilities won’t shut us off. Internet and TV, I’m not sure, but I have a week or two to figure that out. The wife got some fresh bread and some milk yesterday at the store so I think we have stuff covered until the State can get it’s act together.
Sadly, the DWD was one department at the State that embodied the worst of stereotypical political bureaucracy. They made the BMV look like customer service all-stars before this Corona virus crisis. They never answered a call, promising to get back to you in 24-48 hours. When they did call you back their general response was to “read the handbook”.
Once, when I called about a problem the conversation devolved to “where did you read that?” and demanding I cite page and paragraph from the handbook. When I did she told me it didn’t say that. I verified my edition and asked my question again. She said the handbook was wrong and she would get with management. I never got my question answered because all the clerk could focus on was the handbook did not match her idea of how things should work.
Things will work out. The wheels of government turn slowly, but they do turn.
If all else fails, I have been sitting around snacking. I’m getting fattened up. The wife can cut me up into a nice rump roast for Easter.
The governor announced a few weeks ago unemployment benefits have been extended another 13 weeks. Last week was my last normal payment. I tried all week to find out what to do, but of course the phone lines are closed, there is no email, and the website doesn’t offer guidance.
I tried to file a weekly voucher or file a new claim yesterday, but neither option is available to me because the system thinks I’m done with my benefit. That’s a long-winded way of reporting I won’t get any money this week. I’m not sure how I am to tell the State I’m still unemployed.
Me and a million other Hoosiers.
We won’t starve. We have enough food to last a few weeks and the utilities won’t shut us off. Internet and TV, I’m not sure, but I have a week or two to figure that out. The wife got some fresh bread and some milk yesterday at the store so I think we have stuff covered until the State can get it’s act together.
Sadly, the DWD was one department at the State that embodied the worst of stereotypical political bureaucracy. They made the BMV look like customer service all-stars before this Corona virus crisis. They never answered a call, promising to get back to you in 24-48 hours. When they did call you back their general response was to “read the handbook”.
Once, when I called about a problem the conversation devolved to “where did you read that?” and demanding I cite page and paragraph from the handbook. When I did she told me it didn’t say that. I verified my edition and asked my question again. She said the handbook was wrong and she would get with management. I never got my question answered because all the clerk could focus on was the handbook did not match her idea of how things should work.
Things will work out. The wheels of government turn slowly, but they do turn.
If all else fails, I have been sitting around snacking. I’m getting fattened up. The wife can cut me up into a nice rump roast for Easter.
April 5, 2020
Baseball is unwatchable when there are no games
Palm Sunday greetings. We mark the saddest and happiest week in Christendom.
I won’t bother to bore you with the minutiae of my daily life today.
Politics seems to focus on the pandemic. Trump tries to be positive, Democrats complain. Trump tries to offer warnings, Democrats complain. Can we just admit we haven’t seen anything like this in about a century and try to get through it without investigations and finger pointing? There will be plenty of time for that in the aftermath. Sadly, politicians always default to asshole. All of them. There are no party lines.
If you are one of those snowflakes sitting around all sadz and crying in fear over this Wuhan Flu (I saw you on the news) get a grip. Listen to some Green Onions by Booker T and relax.
Here, this is why you showed up today:
Taken on our anniversary trip back when life was good. We moved into our new house in 2013. Went on the wife’s dream vacation to Hawaii in May of 2014. Then a mere two months later everything went to crap as the company was sold. I lost my job. Things have grown progressively worse in the intervening years. I have not found a job as good or high-paying since. So it goes. There have been a lot of good things in that time frame too. In fact, great things. That’s why sitting around all weepy serves no purpose.
I convinced myself many years ago that if you focus on everything that is wrong in life, you miss out on the good. Nothing has shown that philosophy to be wrong.
I won’t bother to bore you with the minutiae of my daily life today.
Politics seems to focus on the pandemic. Trump tries to be positive, Democrats complain. Trump tries to offer warnings, Democrats complain. Can we just admit we haven’t seen anything like this in about a century and try to get through it without investigations and finger pointing? There will be plenty of time for that in the aftermath. Sadly, politicians always default to asshole. All of them. There are no party lines.
If you are one of those snowflakes sitting around all sadz and crying in fear over this Wuhan Flu (I saw you on the news) get a grip. Listen to some Green Onions by Booker T and relax.
Here, this is why you showed up today:
 |
| Diamond Head 2014 I hiked to the top of that thing. |
Taken on our anniversary trip back when life was good. We moved into our new house in 2013. Went on the wife’s dream vacation to Hawaii in May of 2014. Then a mere two months later everything went to crap as the company was sold. I lost my job. Things have grown progressively worse in the intervening years. I have not found a job as good or high-paying since. So it goes. There have been a lot of good things in that time frame too. In fact, great things. That’s why sitting around all weepy serves no purpose.
I convinced myself many years ago that if you focus on everything that is wrong in life, you miss out on the good. Nothing has shown that philosophy to be wrong.
April 4, 2020
What did you do during the Great Chopstick Fever, Grandpa?
I think it is Saturday. The calendar pages are starting blur in a progression of boredom. I wake up, medicate, coffee, blog. Then I mosey downstairs for breakfast. I watch something. Many somethings. Go for a walk. Or not. Lunch. Shoot the shit with the wife. Try unsuccessfully to get in her pants. Read. Pass time. Sit on back patio. Sit on front porch. Talk to the grandgirls on FaceTime. Supper. Sit on couch and watch tv. Rinse and repeat. Yet by some miracle I’m less stressed and happier than I have been in months.
I broke the monotony yesterday with a stogie on the back patio. The wife and I played a few hands of rummy while she baked a cake after dinner.
Today I’m going to smoke a pork butt. The sweet smell of meaty smoky goodness will torment the neighbors and leave them salivating in jealousy. I think I will make some macaroni salad and baked beans as accomplices.
I finished Tim Dorsey’s latest novel. I started a Travis McGee adventure. I’m still in the middle of rereading a Bruce Catton Civil War history. I’m almost through The Sopranos. I don’t know what series I’ll binge next.
Hang tough blog neighbors. We shall get through this.
I broke the monotony yesterday with a stogie on the back patio. The wife and I played a few hands of rummy while she baked a cake after dinner.
Today I’m going to smoke a pork butt. The sweet smell of meaty smoky goodness will torment the neighbors and leave them salivating in jealousy. I think I will make some macaroni salad and baked beans as accomplices.
I finished Tim Dorsey’s latest novel. I started a Travis McGee adventure. I’m still in the middle of rereading a Bruce Catton Civil War history. I’m almost through The Sopranos. I don’t know what series I’ll binge next.
Hang tough blog neighbors. We shall get through this.
April 3, 2020
Lockdown Log — Day Whatever
The neighbor and I chatted one day last week separated by the street. It was warm and sunny and we agreed being stuck at home was much better with nice weather.
I have changed my position on the matter. It is much easier to be confined when it is dreary, wet, and cold outside.
Yesterday was a perfect spring day, sunny, warm, no wind. The wife and I sat on the porch and watched one of our neighbors play baseball in the cul-de-sac with his son. That brought back memories. Oh, and I silently noticed the kid needs to raise his back elbow if he wants to hit the ball. The wife picked up take out from our favorite Mexican joint. I think she is getting sick of my cooking.
Another nice day is on tap for today. Temperatures are expected to move into the seventies next week, a reminder the air conditioning remains unfixed. I guess I know where my stimulus check will be spent.
Nothing new on the job front. The current economic situation has put hiring on hold pretty much everywhere. I had a conversation with a recruiter earlier this week about an opportunity. The pay was what I made in the early 1990s. I could swallow that, but a relocation to a far more expensive city would be required. Convincing the wife to move would be an almost impossible task anyway, doing it at a 40% pay cut is not worth pursuing.
So it goes.
I have changed my position on the matter. It is much easier to be confined when it is dreary, wet, and cold outside.
Yesterday was a perfect spring day, sunny, warm, no wind. The wife and I sat on the porch and watched one of our neighbors play baseball in the cul-de-sac with his son. That brought back memories. Oh, and I silently noticed the kid needs to raise his back elbow if he wants to hit the ball. The wife picked up take out from our favorite Mexican joint. I think she is getting sick of my cooking.
Another nice day is on tap for today. Temperatures are expected to move into the seventies next week, a reminder the air conditioning remains unfixed. I guess I know where my stimulus check will be spent.
Nothing new on the job front. The current economic situation has put hiring on hold pretty much everywhere. I had a conversation with a recruiter earlier this week about an opportunity. The pay was what I made in the early 1990s. I could swallow that, but a relocation to a far more expensive city would be required. Convincing the wife to move would be an almost impossible task anyway, doing it at a 40% pay cut is not worth pursuing.
So it goes.
April 2, 2020
April 1, 2020
stir crazy
i play chess with a friend from Prague.
He is my Czech mate.
I got a new universal remote. My first thought was “this changes everything”.
I’ll be here all week. And next. And the next...