Not even surprised

 We went to a little restaurant we like Thursday evening. We had collected points and received a discount. The total was $13.98, the wife handed over a $20. 

The cashier  looked at the bill. She looked at my wife. The cashier stared at the cash again then looked at me. She took a breath and turned to find the manager. He was busy. Finally she pulled out her phone to use the calculator to see what change we had coming. 

Why should I give her the answer? The nice young lady needs to learn how to count change.

I’m sure she went home ranting about old boomers who refuse to use a debit card. 

Back on ‘05

Here is a rerun from the early days of this here time waster 

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why He wore his collar that way. The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father." The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that." The priest looked up from his book and answered, "I am the Father of many." The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way." The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds" and went back to reading his book. The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar.

 

I know all of the words to this one too

Mythology says a young George Harrison had to play this tune as an audition to join the Quarrymen-the precursor to The Beatles.-on the top level of a double decker bus. McCartney says George played it flawlessly.

Here the boys goof around on it:

It came to me in a dream

 

As rough a draft as it can be -- straight from my brain to electronic page without an edit:

I pulled the door to my hotel room closed and took the dark stairwell down one flight to the main floor. I wandered into the bar and plopped on a stool next to a guy in a brightly colored and rumpled sweater. He gave me the “nod”, and I reciprocated. The bored bartender asked if I wanted a menu and  I told her yes and ordered a beer.  She flip[ped a cardboard coaster and a laminated menu in front of me, followed by a domestic lager. I told her to run a tab and offered up my corporate credit card as hostage.

I was finishing off my order of wings, choosing to stare at the ball game instead of my phone -Buffalo sauce and screens make for a bad mix. A close play at first brought out a challenge from the home team and after watching replays I muttered “ Safe!” just loud enough for my neighbor to agree. That small sports moment, as so often happens, spurred a more general conversation.

A wide-ranging discussion of the pitcher’s shortcomings, a mutual dislike of anything Yankees and New York in particular, ultimately led to introductions. “Sam Wyatt,” I said poking out my hand. “I’m in town for a customer meeting tomorrow.”

“I’m Percival Cavenaugh Klosterkemper. Everyone calls me Buddy.”

“I can see why.” We both laugh. Buddy is drinking boilermakers, emptying the shot and beer before I can even finish half my brew. I had a third beer and stumbled off to bed. Buddy had switched to straight whiskey by this point and seemed settled into his stool for the night.

 

The next morning, I choked down a plate of dehydrated eggs and lukewarm coffee in the hotel breakfast nook. I pulled out my phone, checked travel times, and ordered up an Uber. I was brushing away the morning and coffee breath when my phone signaled my ride was outside. I came into the lobby and saw Buddy slumped in a worn wing-baked chair. He was still wearing the gaudy sweater. His hair was mussed and a recalcitrant lock on the crown stuck up like a sheaf of wheat. It sure looked like he had slept in the lobby. “Hey Buddy,” I mumbled.

“You order an Uber?” he asked. Puzzled, I nodded. “That’s me.” He rose unsteadly on his feet and promptly stumbled over a suitcase on his way to the hotel exit.

A middle-aged guy reached out to steady him. “Whoa, steady there, Buddy.” He said.

“How did you know my name?” Buddy asked. Buddy turned toward me. “It is the tan Camry.” We walked to the curb and Buddy opened the passenger door and climbed in. He held the door open and peered at me. “Sit in the driver’s seat a minute, won’t you?”

Confused, I complied.

Buddy pointed to a device mounted next to the steering wheel. “Blow into that thing for me. You are sober, right?” He looked at me expectantly. “It will let you start the car.”

“Maybe I should call a different driver.”

“So, here is the thing,” Buddy drawled, “I am the only Uber driver in town.” He pointed at my phone. “Go ahead, check.” He was right, there was only one car on the entire map.

Shrugging, I did as he instructed and then started the car. Buddy looked at me expectantly. “You can go ahead and drive. My phone,” he pointed to an iPhone mounted on the air vent, “will give you directions.”

I guess I was driving myself to the appointment. I stopped at the curb in front of my customer and climbed out of the car, leaving the vehicle running. Buddy walked around to the driver’s side and said he would wait on me unless he received another Uber call. As I went in the front door, a security guard came out.

“Hey, Buddy, You can’t park there.”

“How do you know my name?”

Apologies coming in 5,4,3,…yeah, never

So,  Jimmy Kimmel will be back on the airwaves spewing his Democrat talking points disguised as not-funny comedy this evening. 

I guess the government and Donald Trump did not put the hammer to Disney after all. The suspension was a marketing decision. 

The leftist politicians and celebrities who screamed about government overreach and censorship WERE LYING. 

I suppose they will apologize?

That is a smile on my face

 We had my favorite meal for supper last night - beef and noodles. Not those slick store noodles, but thick toothsome noodles that civilized people have with slow cooked stew beef. Since I am from the Midwest, I know you must serve beef and noodles with mashed potatoes, properly mixed on the plate. Yeah, we had green beans, I suppose you must have a veggie with all that starch. I washed it down with unsweetened ice tea. 

I won’t even bother checking my blood sugar today. 

Best of all, I will have leftovers for lunch!

I guess one chance in ten thousand

I am amazed at the blogs and Substackers and commentators  who do flips and turns of convoluted reasoning that would stump a philosophy major to deny the politics of the guy who murdered Charlie Kirk. 

Let’s try some common sense. Who more likely supported Mr. Kirk a conservative or a liberal? Who more likely hated Charlie’s position on most every topic, a conservative or a liberal? Who is more likely to go bat-shit crazy snd murder a man in public, one who supports the public figure or one who disagrees with Kirk’s every position. 

If you are still in the “I don’t know” camp I guess you are a modern Loyd Christmas, “so you’re saying there is a chance!”

Hippy Music Saturday

 

Let the market decide

 Once again I will post something unpopular, one that makes my long-time readers ask what has happened to me. The answer is simple, I remain a small-L libertarian. 

The thing is this, Jimmy Kimmel is a two-faced hypocrite, left-wing Democrat mouthpiece, and frankly, I doubt he is very smart*.  I found his show insipid and unfunny. So I did not watch it. 

I don’t need the FCC or the president to tell me Kimmel’s show wasn’t worth watching. If we are going to censor any program that distorts the truth or outright lies (Hello “The View”), then there won’t be much on TV. And there are plenty of shows that spread biased garbage on the conservative news networks. 

You might argue it was the station owners that demanded Kimmel be removed. I suspect in a future administration it will be learned the White House made some calls and “strongly suggested”. You know, very similar to how Biden had Meta and Twitter shadow ban conservatives. 

You might argue Kimmel was disseminating lies. Here’s the thing, if you are getting your news from Jimmy Kimmel, then you are so low that you are not even one of Rush’s low information voters. In fact those people likely don’t even vote. 

A concrete block was just used to crush an ant. 

*Apparently he was offered a chance to retract and apologize and refused. Not smart. 

Don’t forget to tip your server

It was really windy at the ball game

Probably because the stadium was filled with fans.

More importantly— the Cubs are in the playoffs!

What time is it?

I was late for work this morning. The last time that happened was 1990-something. What makes this extraordinary is that I work from home. My commute is about 20 feet.  Yes, I overslept. It was after 8:00 when I woke up. I haven’t slept past 7AM in decades. 

I did get up about four in the morning yesterday, so I was tired. But I went to bed early -10PM (early for me). Oh well, it isn’t like my co-workers could see my empty cubicle. I still am confused and embarrassed that I was late to work. 

Updated Uodate

 I called the manufacturer about the warranty on my water heater. I was only on hold for maybe five minutes. We quickly established that my unit was under warranty.  Since I bought it at Lowe’s I only had to take the defective unit to the store and they would give me credit for a new one. 

If I was a cartoon character you would see smoke erupt from my feet as I slammed on the brakes. Hold on. I have to take it back?  I have to install the new one? So I need to spend $300-$500 out of pocket on a plumber to replace the defective $725 product you sold me? In what world does this make sense?

Luckily I have a good buddy who is good at such things and he assured me replacing a water heater is not difficult.  He came down and we had the old one out and on the trailer in about 30 minutes. A good chunk of that time was draining the water. The exchange at Lowe’s was quick and painless, they gave me a gift card for the full purchase price of a new unit. It took about 30 minutes to install the new one. 

In all, it cost me $7 for pipe putty, two beers, and supper to get a new hot water heater. Not bad.

If I had to pay a plumber I would be pissed. The warranty is crap. The unit had a nine year guarantee and it lasted six. It could have costed me hundreds to replace poorly made products.still it worked out and I am thankful.

Rock on, Ted

 

@$&#%*

 Yesterday’s post was canned. I did not want to bump it for today’s tantrum.

Saturday the wife made a quick trip to the store to grab a last-minute item. Some friends were coming over to go to dinner then play some cards. She arrived home and ran into the house. “Joe,” she shouted, “Come out here.We have a problem.”

I ran onto the garage to see a river of water flowing across the floor and out into the driveway. The water heater was dumping its contents through the bottom. @$&#%*.

I grabbed a stool and shut off the water to the appliance. After our friends headed home I pulled out my paperwork. The water heater could have either a six year or nine year warranty. I checked my receipt. I bought that water heater in June of 2019. Counting on my fingers that would be six years and three months. 

I grab a flashlight and head to the garage. Whew, it is the nine year warranty model. 

I went to Lowe’s yesterday. As I expected, not their problem. I have to call the manufacturer, which  is only open during the week. I’m taking bets on how long I’ll need to be on hold this morning. 

Looks like another cold shower today. 

Happy Day

 Today is my little girl’s birthday. My first born, I had never even held a baby before the nurse plopped her into my arms. 

Now she is a mother with daughters of her own. 

The granddaughters came over yesterday to make her a cake. 

Not bad for  10 and 6 year-olds. The wife will cut and add strawberries between the white icing before it is served. At least the cake is devoid of sprinkles!

On Human Rights

I believe the people who posted and reacted with glee over the murder of Charlie Kirk are total pieces of human dross with no sense of empathy or moral decency.

They have every right to state their opinion. 

As I said before, the First Amendment exists to protect the speech we find most offensive. 

Here author JK Rowling says it best:

“If you believe free speech is for you but not your political opponents, you're illiberal. If no contrary evidence could change your beliefs, you're a fundamentalist. If you believe the state should punish those with contrary views, you're a totalitarian. If you believe political opponents should be punished with violence or death, you're a terrorist.”  here

I can see into the future

It is my least favorite time of year. I am not talking about pumpkin everything, nor cool nights and mornings, nor even Halloween. Nope, it is business planning time for next year. Forecasts are set, budgets are planned, goals are cemented. 

I don’t want to “sandbag” if estimated sales are too low then it reflects badly on my efforts. If I forecast too high I will spend next year explaining why I missed my numbers.  I have to “Goldilocks” it. 

There are two issues. First , the customer does not know what he will do next year. Some goofy sales guy is going through this same guessing game at his company, driving their forecasts to their suppliers (me).  Second, , after I go through all of this calculation and spreadsheet mayhem, some accountant somewhere will rule on high and my boss will (at the direction of his boss, etc.) tell me “No, here is what your forecast should be” (always higher), and I am back to massage the numbers in my spreadsheet. And next year I get to explain each month why I missed the forecast I never agreed to in the first place. 

It has been this way at every company I ever worked. 

I will work and calculate, and rub my crystal ball anyway to try and give it my best guesstimate. I have all but my really big customer finished. I should wrap it up today. 

September 11

 On this anniversary, coupled with the events of yesterday I am reminded there is evil in this world. 

On the news of the day

 I disagree with a lot of people and a lot of opinions some individuals choose to harbor. 

Not once has it occurred to me to shoot one of those people. Mostly because I’m not insane. 

When you spend all day, every day calling your political opponents fascists, Nazis, and racists you don’t get to be shocked when someone acts on it.

That old ennui

It appears I haven’t posted in a few days. I wish I had a good reason. I do not.

I suppose I could tell you about the weather. It is schizophrenic- cool in the morning and warm in the afternoon. I might tell you about last night’s supper. It was breaded pork tenderloin with green beans and Mac and cheese. I could regale you with my sports ball teams- both won their latest contests. 

All of that would be boring. It would fill up the electronic blank page. And it has. 

Right, Right

 

Rick Davies of Supertramp has passed away.  The greats of classic rock are dying off. 

I saw Supertramp in maybe ‘82 on the last tour before Rodger Hudson left the band.

Update: the concert was September 13, 1983 at MSA in Indianapolis. You can find anything on the internet.

It is only tax dollars

Trump has decided we no longer need a Department of Defense, but rather a Department of War. Whatever, but this is stupid. Once again politicians never think about the cost. How much borrowed money will we spend to change the signage on every building, create new letterhead, modify forms, websites, and requisitions? 

Sure it sounds great, but doesn’t anyone ever think that it is my money and your money they are wasting on nonsense like this? Is there even one single way this helps with military readiness?

That is what I thought. 

Hippy Music Saturday

 

One of my all-time favorite tunes. 

In a Place You Only Dream Of

 

I was going to write something but this tune leaped into my head. Have a listen. 

Indeed

 

Stolen from Midwest chick

This is funny for those of us who live in the northern ‘burbs. I’m especially looking at you guys just over the city limits about 1/4 mile from my house. 

You know who you are:

Joys of home ownership

 I was enjoying my ham and cheese sandwich at lunch yesterday when I heard a violent crash. I thought one of the bedroom closets had collapsed or something. Nope.  I checked the garage - gain, no shelves had fallen, the attic had not caved in. 

I looked out back to discover one of the big limbs on my slowly dying giant willow had fallen, striking the roof with the end of the branch on the way down. Parts had fallen across the privacy fence, breaking one of the boards. Parts had crushed one side of the oak hydrangea. The biggest section, about 8 inches in diameter and 12-15 foot long was in the backyard along with an explosion of lesser branches. 

I spent the afternoon after work cutting it up into smaller pieces. I’m going to have to call a roofer to see if there is any damage to the roof. 

That willow is probably 50 foot tall with a trunk 8’ in circumference. There are still some big branches that are going to come down, but the last estimate to cut down the tree ran over $2 grand. I suppose it is going to fall one big branch at a time. 

If anyone wants some free firewood 2” to 8” in diameter, let me know.

Who hoo ha ha

 I grilled up some burgers for supper last evening. I put on some cheddar /Jack pepper cheese on mine. The wife cannot abide cheese on her burger. Homemade macaroni salad, Deviled eggs, and baked beans rounded out the meal. 

This morning I’m trying to catch up on work. My overseas contacts did not get the day off yesterday and emailed me the usual volume. 

Here is some entertainment you can click if my boring words  are not enough:

There is that

For Labor Day I was going to write a post detailing my history with unions. Then I decided not to. 

On this Labor Day I will cut the lawn and do general yard work; pulling weeds, trimming bushes, picking up sticks. I might grill a couple of steaks for dinner. 

I do know this post is only slightly more boring than the one I was going to write about unions. 

Super Adventure Friday

The grand girls spent the night Friday. We had a good time. For breakfast yesterday we made biscuit dough donuts. After I cracked open the cans the youngest (6) formed the donuts. I fried them up. The oldest (10) rolled them in sugar. It was not a healthy breakfast, but certainly a delicious one. 

After lunch we went and played mini golf. As usual, the wife won, but I was a close second. The girls seemed to have fun. 

We played games, drew pictures, played restaurant, and Barbies. 

I’m so glad they like coming here. 

Hippy Music Saturday

 

That was weird

 I had to go have blood drawn this morning. The nice lady poked my right arm and…nothing. There was barely a trickle of blood. She shifted the needle a bit right then a bit left. Still nothing. She pushed a little deeper. Nope. She pulled out the needle and there wasn’t a drop of blood on my arm.

She moved to my left arm and the four vials filled up in no time. 

I think she missed the vein completely on the right arm. That’s far better than when they poke clear through the vein leaving a big old bruise. 

Play the fife lowly

 

Wherein I again deviate from the presumed political postion

Indiana is a solid Republican state. I’m too lazy to look it up, but the Democrats have carried the state but a few times in last 100 years (4 times I did look it up). There have been but a handful of Democrat Governors since the Republican Party was formed around 175 years ago. Democrats held office during the KKK heydays in the 1920s. Go figure. 

Currently, no Democrats hold state-wide office. The Republicans hold a firm super-majority in the Statehouse . Seven of nine Congressional Districts are held by Republicans.

The Trump administration is pushing hard to have the state redistrict mid-term. Look, you would be hard pressed not to admit that Marion County (Indianapolis) is pretty Blue these days -the Democrats hold the majority of council seats, the mayor’s office, the DA. Like most cities, Indy is a democratic stronghold. Likewise, Da Region, the NW corner of the state nearest Chicago, has long been Democrat. The two non-republican seats are in those areas. 

No matter how creative the Republicans get, restricting will at most gain one seat. There is no point and it smacks of a blatant power grab.

Hold the mayo

I made a pot of potato soup last night for supper. As usual, we had BLTs to round out the meal. The house still smells like bacon. I’m not complaining, merely stating fact. The tomatoes were from my daughter’s garden, the lettuce from the grocery, the bread toasted white, the bacon pan fried. Yes I’m an old dog when it comes to frying up my bacon. I’d rather clean grease from the stove top than clean the oven. It is okay, you cook bacon your way, I’ll do it mine. As long as we both get bacon, life is good. Unless you are eating turkey bacon. In that case I will be judgmental. 

I don’t care if you are offended

President Trump wants to make flag burning a crime. He is wrong on this. 

The First Amendment exists to protect the speech we find most offensive. 

A few weeks ago a dozen or so idiots walked around downtown Indianapolis waving swastikas. They were mostly ignored and that is the best weapon against a-holes of that ilk.

Last week a bunch of people held a counter rally downtown. Whatever, but this bigger rally drew far more attention to the hate mongers than the original Nazi rally ever did.. 

More disturbing was the number of people at the “love” rally calling for more stringent hate crime laws. 

NO NO NO. 

Once again, in case I’ve not been clear, the First Amendment exists to protect the speech we find most offensive. Repeat it until you get it fixed in your brain.  It is not up to the government nor even the majority to determine what is offensive. There is no right to never having hurt feelings. 

Burn the flag, be an un-American jerk. Burn a cross, and show the world you are hate-filled bigoted scum. Wave a swastika and demonstrate to all your black shriveled evil heart. You have that right. 

But just because you can, doesn’t mean you should, and the rest of us have the right to call you evil, despicable human beings. And have no doubt, you are. 

Road Trip

 The wife and I took a little road trip to the next county to hit up an old fashioned root beer stand drive-in. The nice carhop hung the tray from my window and I thoroughly enjoyed my chili dogs with mustard and onion. They even offered diet root beer in a frosted mug. We both ate for less than $20 including a 20% tip. We took the “scenic” route home. 

Okay, it was not scenic unless you are moved by corn and soy beans, but it wasn’t the interstate . 

From 2006

 You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? 

Get your drunk butt off the merry-go-round!

Pride of Akron

 

Hippy Music Saturday

 

A post for me

I was on vacation yesterday and I went to the cemetery to visit my grandson. A couple of plots over a young woman was sitting on a blanket beside a fairly recent grave. She was crying gently. 

I cleaned up some twigs and leaves around my grandson’s place and had a short one-sided conversation with him and said a little prayer. 

As I turned to leave I felt the need to acknowledge the woman’s grief. It was clear the grave was someone close, a husband, a child. I did not want to intrude but I was compelled. “Ma’am,” I said, “I am sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you. I see yours was only one day old.  My little girl only lived three days.” My heart broke. 

I wanted to tell her the pain would never go away but in time scar tissue would form on her broken heart. It wasn’t my place, besides I never lost a child, how can I know? Instead I told her “He was my grandson.Again, I’m really sorry.”  I left her to her to spend her private time with her baby. 

As I climbed in the car I wish I had asked her little girl’s name. Too often we overlook infant death as if they weren’t real persons. I should have acknowledged the baby. Told her mom she chose a beautiful name. 

The next time I go visit Sawyer, I will stop by the new grave and say hello to the baby girl lost too soon and call her by name. 

Cloudy with a chance of boredom

 It is weird. It is above 80F outside, but the sky is overcast and there is a definite feel of fall in the air. I guess it is because for weeks it has been hot and humid and the change seems more drastic than it really is. Yet in another month we just might pine for weather like today. 

I wish I had something of more interest to entertain you. I don’t. 

Soporific Monday

My weekend was fine and uneventful. The weather is typical August. Work is spreadsheets and conversations with customers. My sports teams are participating. In politics the usual suspects are in outrage over Trump because Trump, and the sycophants on the other side support anything because Trump. I am rapidly falling into the “I don’t care” faction. 

I bought some new battery operated pruning shears that might be the best tool I ever purchased. I naught the Chinese knock/off, so we shall see how long they last, but after one use I’m pleased. If they fall apart I’ll spend the bucks for the good DeWalt version. 

Really, it should be obvious I have nothing yet again today. 

Hippy Music Saturday

 

A rather benign hippy song. Groovy, Man.

What?

 

So I was at my local drug emporium picking up yet another of my plethora of medications. 

As is my wont, I wandered the aisles looking at “stuff”. You never know what you will find there. I once grabbed a nifty folding beach table for like five bucks. Often, we can get stuff deeply discounted based on the foot long receipt coupons. 

In my “window shopping”, I ran across this grill. It appears to be made out of heavy cardboard ( or maybe pressed sawdust). In any case it is certainly one-time use. More importantly, how do you keep the whole thing from cooking right along with your burger, grates and all? 

Somehow I doubt this was a winner on Shark Tank. But then it may work great. I’m skeptical by nature.

My Very Excellent Mother

 I don’t care what the experts say, for me,  Pluto will always be the ninth planet. 

Musical interlude

 

With modest success on the British charts, The Pretty Things never hit it big in the States. Perhaps they were too much like the Stones?

Reserved to the States or the People

I am a little disturbed over the Federal takeover of policing the nation’s capitol. It is of course Federal land, so I can see it. I’m a little uneasy using National Guardsmen as police. It is one thing to protect Federal buildings from rioters. It is another to see a guardsman on every corner. And when the president threatens the same for other cities with a high crime rate, I have a serious issue. 

Many of you think Trump can do no wrong, and if makes things better, it is worth it. 

You should have spent a little more time in history class.

 If this opinion makes you think I’ve become a squishy liberal, you better spend some time in the archives. 

Listen to the music

Music has always been my refuge. The Amazon spy machine is playing tunes as I hunt and peck this post on my tiny iPhone keyboard. My tastes are eclectic by any standard. If you were to look at my music library you find a wide range of tunes.

There is a world where Hank Williams, the Bee Gees, and the Talking Heads, Sinatra and Yes, Marty Robbins, Tommy Dorsey,  and Led Zeppelin all co- exist. It is in my music library. 

I listen to music when I am happy, when I am sad, when I’m bored and often just as background noise. I play music quietly at night as I drift to sleep. As a teen I would lay between the speakers and let the sound wash over me, often getting lost in the music, at least until I had to get up and turn over the album. 

I love almost every kind of music. Except the Steve Miller Band. 

Man, I hate that shit. 

Let’s all sing the chorus

It’s a catchy tune. My kids all learned the words since it was a bathtub sing-a-long favorite. 

I was a strange parent. 

Now you sit here on a cloudy afternoon

 

No hippy music today. We need some classic midwestern rock and roll. 

You will listen. You will like it. 

How you know groceries are expensive

I’m not surprised to see a Ferrari here in Mudsock. 

I am surprised to see one in the Walmart parking lot. 

Unsung hero

 David Allen was an ordinary man of his times. His life was extraordinary by our standards. Born in Clinton County Indiana on March 15, 1843, Allen was 18 when he enlisted in the 10th Indiana Infantry at the beginning of The Civil War. He served through the three-month call-up and then reenlisted for the duration in the same regiment.

Allen served as an aide-de camp to Generals Steadman, Scoefield, and Brannon. He was severely wounded at Chickamauga as a second lieutenant of Company C, 10th Indiana.

The next 30 years saw Allen succeed in business; he helped found a bank and a railroad. He dabbled in politics. When the War with Spain loomed he began organizing the men of Clinton County. They formed a militia and then got themselves assigned to the 2nd Regiment, Indiana National Guard. When the telegram was sent from President McKinley calling out the National Guard, Allen was ready; his men jumped aboard the Monon train to Indianapolis by 6:00 am, arriving at Camp Morton (the current State Fairgrounds) before anyone else. The men climbed the fence and were setting up their tents when the Colonel of the 2nd, Harry Smith, arrived. The Unit was mustered into US service as the 158th Indiana Volunteer Regiment. Allen was named captain of Company C. The troops were sent to Camp Thomas at Chickamauga. The 158th were slated for the invasion of Puerto Rico, but scrubbed at the last minute. The troops mustered out and went home when the Spanish surrendered. 

Less than a year later, as the Philippine Insurrection continued, Allen led 200 men from his native county to Jefferson Barracks in St. Louis. There he was told that the long-standing practice of forming regiments and companies from geographical areas was being abandoned. Allen was livid, he made a nuisance of himself until a company of his contingent was mustered as Company I 38th US Volunteers. This was the last time a company would be formed from local men. Those from AllenÂ’s group of more than 200 men enlisted in other regiments or companies. Many were sent to China to quell the Boxer Rebellion.

Allen and the 38th Infantry saw significant action in the Philippines. They fought several actions around Batangas Province, and battled insurgents  and guerrillas. Allen and the rest returned in 1901. Major Allen died in 1911, a veteran of three wars. David F. Allen of Frankfort, Clinton County, Indiana was a true hero.

My great-grandfather, whose portrait in his Span Am uniform graces the wall of my office, was one of the men who traveled with Allen to St. Louis and served in Company I, 38th United States Volunteer Infantry.

Another rerun from August 2005

Public Service Announcement

DEER TICK WARNING

I hate it when people post bogus warnings ... but this one is real, and it's important. 

If someone comes to your front door saying they are conducting a survey on deer ticks and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! 

IT IS A SCAM; they only want to see you naked. I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid now.

Yet another from August of 2005

I’m not superstitious

 There are certain rules we all should adhere to: left sock, left shoe, then right sock, right shoe for instance. Only a fool wears stripes on the day of a test. 

It is just common sense and an understanding of what is right and proper.

What is the problem?

 In the many internet lists of shocking things kids did growing up in the 1960’s or 1970’s, one thing always gets listed: drinking from the water hose. 

Where I grew up and where I live now the water in my hose is the same as comes out my tap. I fail to understand the issue. 

I guess it’s because I drank from the hose more times than I could count as a kid. 

Back to School

 A man and a woman were driving down the road, arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reached over and sliced the man's penis off. Angrily, she tossed it out of the car window.

Driving behind the couple was a man along with his 6-year-old daughter. The little girl was chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacked their car windshield, stuck for a moment, then flew off.

Surprised, the daughter asked her father, "Daddy, what the heck was that?"

Shocked, but not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replied, "It...it was only a bug, Honey."

The daughter sat with a confused look on her face, and after a moment she said... "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?"

Yet another one from August of 2005. I clearly published a lot of jokes back then

Hippy Music Saturday

 

I must be offended by something

 Let me see if I have this correct, any talk about jeans as a play on words for “genes”, is a reference to Nazis and eugenics. 

We should boycott snd cancel American Eagle.

Ok, one of the leading proponents of eugenics was Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood. 

Let’s cancel the baby killing machine…

About thst

 A gas station was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, “Free Sex with Fill-Up”.

Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. 

The redneck then guessed 8, and the proprietor said, “You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time.”

A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. 

Again the proprietor said, “Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.”

As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, “I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex.”

Bubba replied, “No it ain’t, Billy Ray. I know it ain’t rigged ’cause my wife won twice last week.

—Originally published August 2005

Hope

 There is a tsunami warning for the west coast.  Maybe California will wash out to sea. 

RIP Mr Sandberg

 

One of the greatest I ever saw play.

One of my three favorite baseball players. 

Ten time All Star

Nine gold gloves 

Seven Silver Sluggers 

MVP

Hall of Famer

🙏#23

Let’s do the time warp

 Here is a blast from the past.  I posted this twenty years ago. Clearly I was not interested in quality in those days either.

Two medical students were walking along the street in Minneapolis when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart.

One of the students said to his friend: "I'm sure he has Petry Syndrome. 
Those people walk just like that."

The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has 
Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks just as we learned in class."

Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man.

They approached the old man and one of the students said to him: "We're 
medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we 
couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have.

Could you tell us what it is?"

The old man said: "I'll tell you, but first you'll tell me what you think."

One of the students said: "I think it's Petry Syndrome."

The old man said: "You thought.......... but you're wrong."

Then the other student said: "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."

The old man said: "You thought.......... but you're wrong."

So they asked him: "Well, what do you have?" And the old man said:

"I thought it was a fart................. ......but I was wrong."

I’ve nothing

 

Traveling three miles a day

 The short-lived Pony Express delivered mail between St Joseph, Missouri and San Francisco. The journey took ten days and covered about 1,900 miles. In the two years or so of operation the Pony Express never lost a package. 

I bring this up because I received an envelope from my brother yesterday delivered by the US Postal Service. It traveled just over 50 miles. 

It took 16 days. 

According to my handy maps app on my phone I could walk the distance in two days. I’m skeptical, let’s say three days for a reasonably fit youth. A rider from the Tour de France could cover the distance in about two hours on his bike. The aforementioned Pony Express could have delivered my package in about six hours. 

You may draw your own conclusions. 

Hippy Music Saturday

 

Good News Friday

Well good news for me anyway. My great HVAC man fixed my AC yet again. Cool air is seeping into the house as I hunt and peck. 

Of course there are no guarantees. The furnace is new. The AC unit old, but he used bubble gum and baling wire to get it running yet again. 

Another company told me five years ago it was done. Kaput. My guy believes in fixing if he can . He’s an honest tradesman and worth every penny. 

Whatever

 Still hot. Still summer. 

Nothing more of interest to report. 

It appears there is now proof the whole Russian collusion hoax was perpetrated by the Obama administration with help from the Clinton campaign. 

Wouldn’t it be nice to have one, just one, Democrat who voted to impeach Trump do the decent thing and apologize for voting based on bad and fake information?

It will never happen in this political age. As aways, it is about power. 

The radical Republicans did the same thing to Johnson during reconstruction. 

We don’t hate politicians enough.

When the sun beats down

According to the weather lady we are entering one of the hottest weeks of the summer so far. And yesterday the central air conked out. Air is blowing but it ain’t cold. 

Sigh

It’s always something. To no surprise, other smaller financial crises have reduced the emergency fund. We will have to limp by with fans until payday. Strangely, nearly every room in the house has a ceiling fan except the master bedroom.* Me? I’m not much bothered by temperature extremes in either direction. The wife will be miserable. 

A first world problem for sure, but one we will survive. 

*yes I know we are not supposed to call it a master bedroom because that supposedly triggers people who were never slaves. Whatever.

There is that

 The Cubs managed to have the best record in baseball for about 24 hours. 

Hippy Music Saturday

 

I strongly disagree

 I have to disagree, Mr. President. Human trafficking is a scourge upon civilization and especially when it involves teens and children. It is no fake news or conspiracy. Epstein and Maxwell trafficked in sex. They were convicted. There were victims. Now you owe it to society to out the persons who engaged.If human trafficking occurred, it had to be to someone. I not only want the names, I want to know why they haven’t been prosecuted. 

I don’t care if it is presidents or princes, celebrities or computer mavens. I do not care if 1/2 of Congress is implicated. I do not care if half of Hollywood or Wall Street is destroyed . I want names named and people in jail. 

This isn’t about politics, it is about proving the law applies equally despite wealth and power. It is about doing the right thing. And if you are one of those trying to push this under the rug, then shame on you. 

If that makes me undesirable in your opinion, Mr. Trump, then you can kiss my ass. 

A very good DAY

Yesterday my oldest granddaughter and I drove over to Dayton, OH to tour the National Air Force Museum. 

This wasn’t a case of the old man dragging a ten-year-old to some boring museum so that she could learn something, like a school field trip. She chose to go there. I think she had a ball. I did. 

They have everything from Wright Brothers planes to B-52s to four different Air Force One planes. You can see the Memphis Bell and Bockscar, the plane that dropped the atomic bomb Fat Boy on Nagasaki. It took us pretty much all day to tour the four buildings. 

I had to explain some of the displays and the Cold War section was most difficult. How do you explain the need for the Berlin Airlift and the nature of the Cold War era to a little kid?  The evil perniciousness of communism is beyond the understanding of a fifth grader. 

She most enjoyed the space shuttle and the old Air Force One displays. She was awed to stand in the spot LBJ took the oath after the Kennedy assassination. Yeah, I thought it was pretty cool too. 

In a life filled with them, yesterday will be remembered as one of my favorite days. 

On the road again

 No post today. I’m going on a road trip with my oldest granddaughter. Just the two of us doin’ history. 

I think we are going to have a blast. 

Deep Cut

 

Dork Fish

In an aquarium in Florida 

 

Three minutes and forty seconds of life

I sat on the patio reading book 2 of the North and South series on my Kindle.  The resident cardinal  chirped good night in the gathering darkness as lightning bugs flashed their call for mates around the white and pink blooms of rose of Sharon bushes. The little fountain splashed quietly. No politics or work or worries about bills intruded on my thoughts of contentment. Movement caught my eye and a bunny hopped slowly across the lawn stopping to eat a bite of grass or weed, sniffing the air constantly for danger. I closed my book and sat, enjoying the summer evening. I offered a prayer of thanks and went inside still wondering why Ghislaine Maxwell is in jail if she trafficked minors to nobody? 

Hippy Music Saturday

 

I’m getting too old for this

Yesterday I helped the youngest move a couch and loveseat into his apartment. An upstairs apartment. It was warm outside. It is summer here in Hoosierland. 

Today I ache in muscles I forgot I had. Back during Covid when I was forced to work at the Big Box home improvement store to survive, I did lots of lifting and carrying of stuff - frequently very heavy stuff like grills and shelves. These days, I don’t get the same daily workout. 

These two of us managed to get the furniture up the stairs and into the apartment. All is well. Except my shoulders. And my legs. We won’t even discuss my aching back.  My bad foot is crying out for attention. I have these scrapes on my arms and hands…

Our Friend Ed

 Blogger EdB has been a reader and commenter here since almost the beginning. I consider him a friend I never met. 

Now, he is facing some real challenges. 

If you are the praying kind, I know he would appreciate it.  A comment of encouragement would certainly help lift his spirits. 

Should I go?

 

Hump day

 I have nothing. 

Willie Loman is my doppelgänger

After a well-deserved week of vacation I got mostly caught up yesterday. As with nearly every vacation in my professional life, I worked a little while I was off. I read every email, answered a few. I replied to a few texts and took a couple of phone calls. I logged on and listened to one short Teams meeting.  

The wife admonished, “You’re on vacation!” 

The thing is, that 3/4 hour or so I spent each day keeping abreast paradoxically helped me better enjoy my vacation. More importantly, it kept me from being completely overwhelmed when I logged on yesterday morning. 

Am I a workaholic? I don’t believe so. Do I care about my job? Very much. If I had the means would I retire? Absolutely, unequivocally, yes. 

I know TLDR

In the early decades of the country there was a lot of discussion and angst among the various states over the power of the federal government. The United States was exactly that- a collection of independent states married together. It remains so, even though the identity and powers of the individual states has been watered down . 

In those early decades there was a discussion of what was termed “Nullification”. I don’t want to get into the weeds, nullification is complicated political theory and the events leading to the attempted policy are far ranging, always coming back, in the end, to slavery.

The feds instituted a new tariff. This tariff helped the manufacturers in the north by limiting competitive goods from Europe. The increased costs hurt the agrarian South, who imported most of their commercial goods and exported their cotton, indigo, and rice. 

John Calhoun and the South Carolina legislators decided they did not have to abide by the federal law and announced the tariff was null in void in South Carolina. 

Andrew Jackson said “Like Hell,” eventually the next Congress reduced the tariff and the state backed down. 

Nullification continued to raise its ugly head right up until the Civil War when it was settled for good. 

Why am I going on about this? 

No state has the right to decide they don’t like Federal Immigration laws and refuse to cooperate. The way to get rid of a federal law your state doesn’t like is to change the law. 

Nullification is itself null and void and was settled in the 1830s.. 

That’s why politicians should study history. 

Hippy road trip song

 

About last week

 

This has been my view all week. 

No, that is not my backyard, believe it or not.

Now I’m back home. I wish I could say I’m refreshed and ready for work Monday. That would be a lie. I’m refreshed, let’s leave it at that. 

Celebrate

 The first No Kings Day

How to spot a scam

 If I walked into a psychic reading, the first thing out of her mouth better be “Hi, I was expecting you.” Otherwise  I would turn and leave, firm in my knowledge she was a fake. 

You’re welcome.

Lonely Lament

Now it is stuck in your skull too. 

Rise of the Squirrels

This is how it starts. He bangs on the door, his sharp claws making a click, click, click on the glass. “Let me in. I promise I won’t chew your face off.”

Yeah, I’m not falling for it. That bushy-tailed rodent wants to murder me.

Way better than I deserve

This post is going to take math. Let’s see, 2025…carry the one…Got it. 

Forty-one years ago today I walked out of the Methodist Church married to this chick. Brains, freckles, dark curly hair, a nice rack (😎), a sweet smile, a great sense of humor, she had it all.  She still does. 

It was intentional on my part. I suspect she was under some psychological event. What was she thinking getting tied up with me? 

Anyway, here we are, four plus decades into it and she is still my best friend. Through thick and thin she has been there, the rock of the family. She puts up with my crap, my bad jokes, my rapid mood changes. 

It occurs to me for the millionth time that I am indeed a lucky man.

Htv hi urfhz

In lieu of intelligent, interesting , or witty repartee this morning, here is a picture of a hibiscus flower next to my patio. 

A wrong-headed policy

I think I’ll run for mayor of Mudsock. The property tax issue needs adjusted. For one thing, the poor minority neighborhoods need more services so we should shift the tax burden to those neighborhoods. 

Yes, that is racist as hell. Even typing it makes me ill. 

What is the difference when the mayoral candidate for New York City says  he wants to “shift the tax burden to richer and whiter neighborhoods.”?

Racism is wrong no matter what color of skin is being targeted. 

All I really needed

 

Friday music. You will listen and you will like it. 

I will be on it. 

Secret Fears

Today is confession day. 

I have this secret, irrational fear that occurs to me every day. It is unreasonable and, frankly, stupid. This phobia is certainly not debilitating. The notion occurs to me only briefly and I move on. 

Every time I go through the laundry room and open the door to the garage I fully expect a black snake to be coiled on the door mat. 

I know. I have no idea where this idea comes from. It has haunted me for years. The thing is, I’ve never…knock on wood…seen a snake here in my yard. Bunnies, chipmunks, squirrels, raccoons, foxes, coyotes, yes, so I would not be surprised one was slinking around in the flower beds.

What makes my mind fear one is waiting just outside my door? I don’t know, but I look down every time I go to the garage.  Crazy, right?

What secret fear hides in your heart?

When the sun beats down and melts the tar on the roof

 It’s hot. I suspect it is hot at your house too. I know why snd it has nothing to do with carbon or ozone or fossil fuels or global climate.

It is summer. It’s all about the tilt of the Earth and the sun. 

The grandgirls were simply astounded to learn I lived through summer heat without air conditioning as a kid. “Didn’t you get hot?” The oldest asked. 

Yes I did, but no one else I knew had air conditioning either. It just was summer. 

My brother and I slept outside in a tent a lot on the summer. 

We went to the public pool. We had fun and sweated and life was good. It was just summer. It was hot. 

So it goes.

Leave the Gun. Take the Cannolis

 I have stuff going on 

Here is a picture of a baby bunny on my patio. 

There is no reason to post it, but it is better than nothing, right?

Iran and Israel call for peace

 Looks like the war is over and peace — at least temporarily — will reign. Makes the panic and hand wringing a little silly. 

A few well placed bombs seem to have pacified the Iranians. 

At least until a democrat judge somewhere says  the peace is illegal because Trump.

Copied from a comment I left in a previous post.

One summer never ends, one summer never began

 

Get off your soapbox.

I don’t know if bombing Iran was the right thing. I suspect it was. Heck, we probably should have done it in 1979 and periodically in the intervening years. History will judge. 

I do know the hysteria over Trump not coming to Congress first and declaring war is pure partisan rhetoric and a lot of TDS. 

Nearly every president, starting with Washington, initiated military action without declaring war. Some of the same Congressmen now shouting foul had nothing to say when Clinton went into the Balkans and Obama bombed Libya. 

Give it a rest. Is anyone really on Iran’s side here?

Summer Read

In honor of summer my first novel, Suburban Moon, will be on sale this week. You can grab the e-book version for 67% off the list price. If you prefer to hold my words in your hand there is a paperback version too. 

Get yourself a cheap beach book for less than a dollar. 

You can get a free e-reader if you don’t have a Kindle.

My second novel, Hoosier Flats, will hopefully be done by fall. 

I’m making no promises though. 

Summer has arrived

It’s  going to be a long day. 

That’s a summer joke. You know, many hours of sunlight… Never mind. 

We are heading off to hang at a friend’s pool . Afterward we will go listen to some live music. Cigars, beer, laughs are all on the schedule. Some days it is good to be me. 

A little summery music

Slipped my Mind

 I cannot believe I missed Juneteenth. I suppose it slipped my mind since slavery was abolished in those states in a state of rebellion by the Emancipation Proclamation in January 1863. Slavery was officially banned throughout the United States by the 13th Amendment, ratified December 6, 1865. 

Neither of those events happened in June. 

Hey, you celebrate as you see fit. It doesn’t bother me at all. 

Found SOTI

 

Could be my favorite meme ever. I don’t know where I found it.  If I stole it from you I wish I could give credit. 

I was defeated, you won the war

On this date in 1815 the Battle of Waterloo was fought. It was a close thing, the Coalition (You might as well say British) Army was hanging on by their fingernails through the massive French assaults. Luckily the Prussians finally arrived ( because Marshal Grouchy did nothing to slow them down) and the day ended with Napoleon in retreat and the Old Guard surrendering. 

Napoleon was pretty invested in the whole No Kings movement back in his day, right up until he made himself one. Leftists always seem to follow that path.

The hit ABBA song has nothing to do with the battle, but it is catchy, even if the lyrics are a bit insipid.

Just sayin’

 It may be legit, but the optics stink. Trump has raised tariffs on imported phones, hitting Apple particularly hard. Now his company is going into the phone business. 

If Biden did this the MAGA crowd would howl. 

Flashdance Flashback

The grandgirls had their big dance recital Saturday. They did great. That’s not what’s I want to write about.

Each spring the dance company recognizes the graduating seniors and each does a solo dance. Usually it is some kind of artistic modern affair with dramatic poses and rolling on the ground. Just once I would love to see one of the fine young ladies pop off a Flashdance finale. 

We all know it would be a show-stopper in a good way. 

Just in case you are not old and have no clue what I am talking about. 

Sunday Wishes

 Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there.

I miss you Dad.

It was back in the seventies

 

If there was a soundtrack to my youth, this song would be part of it. 

Dedicated to her

 

I don’t think we’ve listened to ELO here at the old blog. Until today.

More, more

 Keep on rioting. What little sympathy we had for the plight of so-called immigrants will dissipate like the smoke from burning cars fanned by the waving of Mexican flags. 

And those who support and encourage these riots, well you convinced me even more that you do not have American’s  best interests in your heart. 

For goodness sake 148 Congressional Democrats voted that they see no issue with non-citizens voting in Washington DC elections.

I don’t even have words. I cannot conceive of the logic behind this. 

Another legend is gone

 I just heard Brian Wilson has died. He was a true musical genius.

Deep Analysis

Time to lighten up  a bit. 

Here’s something I bet you didn’t know. When I was young I hated facial hair. 

Then it grew on me.

Semantics

Can we get something straight? If you entered the country without permission you are not a migrant, you are an illegal alien. You have absolutely no right to be here. And frankly, as far as I am concerned, you have no Constitutional protections beyond innocent until proven guilty. If you are not an American citizen and have no green card your only right is a humane and safe deportation. 

As for the splitting families argument, well criminals are split from their families every day. Does the court worry about the family of a convicted drunk driver? Nope, and you don’t either. 

If you are here illegally and now are rioting, all I can say is  so long, farewell.

Interference with an officer is a crime, resisting arrest is a crime, even if you use non-violent means. Assaulting a police officer is a felony. Harboring an illegal is a crime. I have no sympathy. And I hope the feds use every means possible to track you down and send you to prison just like they did the J6 rioters. 

BTW, you do know Trump has deported a fraction of the illegals sent packing by Obama, right? Is your anger over deportations or who is doing it? A little soul searching may be in order. 

Anarchy or the rule of law

 What he said

I read another blog this morning that wondered why ICE keeps going back to LA to “poke the bear”? Because the riots are anarchy. Because they are criminals. Because if you let it go then there is no rule of law. 

This same blogger remains outraged over January 6th. I could ask the same question— why not let them riot? 

Every single Democrat that sides with the protesters in LA shows they love votes and power more than their country. They hate Trump more than the rule of law. 

The fact the protesters are shouting in Spanish and waving foreign flags tells you all you need to know. If Mexico is so great head on back. 

Sunday Music on Monday

 

Irony, Hyperbole, or Ignorance?

 A rabid antisemite tries to burn a bunch of Jews alive and then his lawyer calls the US government Nazis. 

What a piece of shit who makes lawyers look worse, if possible. You cannot hate some lawyers enough. I would spit on that attorney if I ever met him.

Yeah, you will quote me

 I wanted to be a baker, but I didn’t think I could make enough dough.

I wish I had duck feet

 

 So I have a little fountain beside my patio. It is a pleasant water feature. 

Last evening after work I went to plop on the couch to watch me some Emergency! and I noticed a blur of yellow out the window. I suspected a gold finch was getting a drink from the upper barrel. 

I looked out the window and noticed the fountain wasn’t flowing. “Damn cottonwoods,” I muttered and slipped on some shoes to go clean out the pump. I reached in the water and noticed a dead bird floating against the pump. A stupid robin had somehow drowned itself. I grabbed some rubber gloves from the garage and pulled out the body and tossed it in the trash. 

I came back to start taking apart the fountain to clean it and there was a second bird floating under the first. Was this some kind of avian suicide cult? I pulled the gloves back on and fished out the second robin. As I took it from the water he feebly shook his wings. This one was alive. Barely. 

I sat him nearby on the mulch and he sat shivering taking little breaths but not moving. I cleaned and put the fountain back together. He sat there watching me, unmoving. 

I went in and scrubbed my hands and arms. 

About an hour later I glanced out the r window he still sat there. I went out and he turned his soggy head to look at me, but made no other move. I got my gloves and moved him over under a sugar maple tree to give him a little protection and comfort. 

After supper I went to roll the garbage bins to the curb. I checked and the stupid robin had moved a few feet . I looked at him and he hopped away. 

He may live, if his wings aren’t damaged. It started in raining in the overnight. I bet that bird is as sick of water as a non-duck can be. 

Drifting’ back to the eighties agsin

 

Now it’s stuck in your head too.

But man she was hot.

Morning ritual

I love my digital devices and screens. At a touch I can access the information of the world. But a little bit of me misses the morning newspaper. I would sip my coffee at the table and read from the spread out pages the news of the day - especially the local news. 

In the early 2010s the local paper became a shell of itself, filled with old news, typos and poorly written articles. At the same time my vision was slowly going to hell from undiagnosed Fuchs Dystrophy and we cancelled the paper since I couldn’t see the newsprint and no one else read it. Not long after we moved to Mudsock and a local paper was not an option and I didn’t care. 

What is the point? There is none. My mother encouraged me to read the morning paper starting when I was seven or eight and I continued for the next forty or fifty years. Some days I miss it. But my screen doesn’t leave ink stains on my fingers. 

Wait, What?

 If you were to hang with me, yesterday’s post is exactly my sense of humor.  Our conversation would be peppered with similar comments. 

I still remember my mom’s admonition when I was a teen and entering the world of dating. “Remember Joe,” she said, “Not e everyone gets your sense of humor.” She did, I got it from her. 

I had one boss in particular who did not get me at all, and would just give me a quizzical look as if he knew something was in jest but feared the joke was on him when he didn’t get it. 

Oh well, my wife still finds me funny and my family is used to my puns, dad jokes, sarcastic comments, and dry observations. Those who don’t? Well it sucks to be you. 

Helpful Advice

 I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.

She did not get mad. 

She hugged me.

Let's play Twister, let's play Risk

 

This is stuck in my head this morning 

Mundane Musings

We had a great day with the granddaughters yesterday. The wife took them to a movie in the forenoon. In the afternoon we went to play mini golf. Where I, ahem, beat everyone. I managed to get around in one less stroke than the wife. 

For dinner I lit the fire pit and we roasted weenies and made s’mores. The girls had a blast. After washing sticky faces and hands we played a board game before bedtime. 

We have one more day before their parents pick them up in the morning. 

It’s been a great week.

Mea Culpa

Send me to a time out. Banish me to bed without dinner.

 I forgot to post something yesterday. You cannot imagine my chagrin. I have no doubt several dozen of you were curled up with your blankie seeking solace through intense bouts of crying and thumb sucking. 

Or not. It’s likely you didn’t notice.

I took the day off work today because I wanted to. I have the vacation days, so why not. Should the rain hold off we may take the grandkids to play miniature golf this afternoon. 

Fore!

The eighties are calling

 

Stee-rike Three

Monday Tuesday, bleh. Back to work. I could go for a three day weekend every week. Our week of activities and adventures continues. We took the grand girls to see the local Triple A baseball team last night. The game was followed by a fireworks show. I think everybody had a good time, but the girls were bored by the end of the game. Not everyone enjoys baseball as much as I do. But they were great and I enjoy every minute I get to hang with them. 

Remember

 

I ain’t no Earl Anthony

 We took the girls bowling last night. A great time was had by all. Boy I suck. I was never a great bowler, even back in the day when I went at least monthly. You see, in my youth I lived in a small town and your choices for entertainment were pretty much bowling, the movies, or driving your car around. 

Anyway, I managed to break the into the low 100’s- 124, I think. Multiple spares were ruined by subsequent bad first rolls in the next frame. Since we rented the lane for an hour, we only got about 4-5 frames into the second game before time was up. I was on much the same scoring pace when the game ended. 

As with golf, I have no hook, no slice, just a perfectly straight throw and an innate inability to aim. 

The wife maintains that is true with the toilet bowl too.