Post Number One -- Starting Over

A few weeks ago I made up my mind that when I hit 1,000 posts I was done with this blog. I even had it all planned. Number 999 would be a reprint of my first entry and I would title the entry "My First" and number 1000 would be titled "My Last". Always the drama queen, am I. Stick with me here, this is not going to be the "poor me" post I drop in every few weeks.

You see, I thought this blog was not going anywhere. My writing skills were not getting better, my entries were becoming increasingly lame. I just could not get over the hump, readership was a steady 60-70 per day, never growing. Links stayed steady as well. I saw blogs that had far fewer posts, and in my opinion drastically inferior content were way more popular. I was jealous and angry. I firmly believed that if you build it they will come. They weren't and I was sulking.

All my life I have been an Average Joe. In high school I would have been voted most forgettable. I never was with the "in crowd" yet I was not shunned by them. I could talk with the "hoods" and even occasionally hung out with the "party guys". I was not a great athlete, nor was I the fat guy bringing up the rear in the Phys Ed runs. Not good looking, but not a pimple faced ogre either. Incredibly average. I am the same in life: married, kids, job, debt, taxes.

Here I was in the blog world, I do not belong to a certain group, yet I am acknowledged by many different blog "circles". I felt I was like generic shampoo, wash, rinse repeat. There I was looking for a pity party, Poor me, no one notices me.

I could not bring myself to end it. Hey, we all want to be liked. I enjoy this hobby. But to be honest, I amuse the Hell out of me. Ain't that what it is all about? So what if people who never post have a higher ecosystem rating? Is that really how I measure my worth? I have some great readers who visit every day. There are plenty of bloggers who would be pleased to get 70 hits a day.

Then today, I read an entry that really speaks to me, not just in relation to blogging, but my life in general.Eric at SWG provided the perspective I was sorely needing:

I’ve heard it said before that life is full of disappointments…. I call bullshit on that one…. Life is full of whatever you put into it…. disappointments are a product of a selfish mind…… … don’t wish for too much… wish for just enough…. And when you don’t get that little bit of “just enough”, shake your head, smile, and say towards heaven….. “maybe tomorrow”…..… because otherwise, you are going to be one miserable son-of-a-bitch…..

I do not know what inner voice prompted that fine bit of wordsmithing. I do know that God works in mysterious ways, and that prose spoke to me. Here we are in the midst of the Season of Happiness, and I was pouting, looking for reasons to complain or be angry. All told, my blessings far outway my problems. Like Bing sings in my favorite movie, "I have plenty to be Thankful for..."

What does this long rambling post have to do with anything? Well, you will continue to see my poorly composed drivel. Just not next week. Stop in, peruse, comments are welcome. Link if you want. Or don't -- me and Gloria Gaynor will survive. Read between the lines, this post is not about blogging. It is about life, and a sad comment on how I have been living it. That, my friends, is going to change.

Thanks, Eric, for a much needed reality check.