Welcome to my life

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to
spending the rest of m'life, 'tween the legs of m'wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the
prize for the Best toast of the night"

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of m'life,
sitting in church beside me wife."

Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking
buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the
prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised
myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."