October 14, 2007

The paranoid's lament

I think my wife is trying to kill me. I am positive she is slipping various prescription medicines into my food. How do I know this? I have experienced a wide range of side effects described by serious-sounding announcers on TV commercials for prescription medications.

Drowsiness, joint pain, nausea, blurred vision (that one cleared up when I put on my glasses), diarrhea, irritability, headaches, loss of appetite, insomnia -- I have felt all of these and more over the last several weeks. Well, all the side effects except the four hour boner. I keep waiting on that one.

We all need something to brag about, even when we are being slowly poisoned.

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