I was standing on the deck yesterday evening grilling up some chicken breasts. Suddenly I saw a shadow swoop down at my head. As I instinctively ducked a second bird struck me in the chest. I danced and brushed the critter away. It hit the deck and immediately flew up at me again, this time attaching its claws into me shirt on my right side. I frantically tried to brush it off. Finally, I knocked the little bastard down to the deck again. It looked like a baby dove, but I am not sure. I was barefoot so stomping it was out of the question. I moved to kick it, but it finally flew off before I regained my breath and composure.
Holy shit, it was freaky. I went inside to tell my wife and kid, they only half believed me. As I was bringing in the chicken a few minutes latter, my neighbor stopped his mower and called to me. He said he saw that f-ing bird attack me. He laughed and said I was jumping around like I was on fire. He said that was the funniest thing he had seen in a long time.
The damn birds have been sitting on my mirrors and crapping down the side of my car for a few weeks now. Last night they attacked me. Is the ghost of Hitchcock filming in my neighborhood?
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