It seems like yesterday

I woke that morning sore. I had spent the night on a narrow padded window seat. In a hospital room. The air outside was cold. The weatherman reported later that the low had hit a frigid 32 degrees, tying the earliest date for a freeze in the area. September 30, 1993 was to be an ominous day.

My wife was in the hospital bed. I spent the night in the room, filled with worry. She had been admitted the previous evening after an ultrasound in the doctor's office. Our baby was due anytime. The ultrasound showed dark patches in the baby that indicated he was retaining fluid. The doctor put her in the hospital. He microwaved "the sponge", to kill the spermicide. He then filled it with magic potion that would induce labor. He said "see you tomorrow" and off he went.

I called my Mom to come watch my two kids, 5 and 7. After she arrived I headed back to the hospital to spend a restless night. Thursday, September 30 started cold and turned into a sunny day. The Doctor was called and my youngest child, a baby boy, was born.

He had some issues with the tube from his kidney to his bladder that caused the fluid to back up, but that remedied itself in time. Now he is a healthy happy young man. The boy is now at least as tall as I am and still has amazing blue eyes. He was voted 'Friendliest Person" at his Eighth Grade graduation a few years ago. He turns sixteen today and he cannot wait to get his driver's license. Too bad in Indiana you have to wait 31 days after your 16th birthday. There he is -- over there on the right, the day he came home.

Happy Birthday, Little One, I am proud of you.

The only good snake is a dead snake

Let Justice be blind

My local fishwrap had a Scrips-Howard editorial today by Dale McFeatthers basically offering the opinion that the State of California should just forget about convicted child rapist and fugitive Roman Polanski. According to the editorial, if the State will not let it go, then The Obama should pardon this man who got a thirteen year old girl drunk and raped then sodomized her. I cannot emphasize this enough, she was THIRTEEN.

The fine editorial writers at Scripps Howard believe Polanski has suffered enough. He has not been able to work in the US, and he was not allowed to accept his Oscar, and who knows how many more he might have received had the evil US not wanted him for fucking a thirteen year-old girl.

"He might have made many more great films and won more Oscars if he had been able to stay in Hollywood. His punishment is wondering what might have been."

Do you think Mr. McFeatthers advocated for us all to forget about the Catholic Clergy who diddled young parishioners decades in the past? After all, many did good, Godly work afterward?

If that piece of shit screwed my thirteen year-old daughter, we would not be discussing the merits of Mr. Polanski(spit)and his work thirty-plus years later. Editorials could be asking what if the son of a bitch had lived to make another movie. Big Dick is absolutely correct. If child rapist Roman Polanski raped and sodomized my daughter he would be a dead man. Had Charlie Manson not done away with Sharon Tate would Polanski have molested their daughter? There is a "what if" for you, McFeatthers.

Why don't we let the professional writers state my case far better and more effectively? Read this article. Here is the money quote:

"But for good or ill, the justice system doesn't work on behalf of victims; it works on behalf of justice...It works on behalf of the people, in fact -- the people whose laws in every state make it clear that both child rape and fleeing prosecution are serious crimes. The point is not to keep 76-year-old Polanski off the streets or help his victim feel safe. The point is that drugging and raping a child, then leaving the country before you can be sentenced for it, is behavior our society should not -- and at least in theory, does not -- tolerate, no matter how famous, wealthy or well-connected you are, no matter how old you were when you finally got caught, no matter what your victim says about it now, no matter how mature she looked at 13, no matter how pushy her mother was, and no matter how many really swell movies you've made."

The bottom line is Polanski drugged a thirteen year-old girl. He then performed oral sex on her when she said NO, then raped her when she said NO, then performed sodomy on her when she said NO. He admitted his guilt, then fled the country. That he did not do it again is no excuse. That he is a talented artist has no bearing. Justice demands payment.

Did I mention I hate the phone company?

I had some other crap to post about today, but in my morning hissy fit I have forgotten what I wanted to say.

What's that? Why am I angry? You were not here last night when the wife opened the phone bill were you?

Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle...the weird bell music plays as the screen blurs and fades...flashback to last evening...

The wife is opening the mail. I never open the mail because it is always bills and they depress me. She opens the phone bill and asks "Hey, what is this? Why is our phone bill so high?"

I snatch it from her hand and and give a mighty WTF? There are $45 in extra charges from companies like findyourdiet.com, and voicemail solutions LLC and billviaphone.com. I never signed up for voice mail (we have a nice digital machine). I vowed to get it all taken care of this morning.

Tinkle, tinkle, etc...back to the present...

So this morning I go through the pain and voice mail hell and holds to get these charges removed. Of course, the number on the phone bill is just a billing company. They give me a different phone number. One company informs me that I am number 8 in line and my call will be answered, etc. After exactly nine minutes and thirty seconds you get an answering machine. I know, I called three times. I never did speak to a person.

To make a long story short I spent 1-1/2 hours dealing with this crap this morning. I am not in a good mood. I did tell one lady that I understand we all need to work. I asked her how she could work for such a sleazy company? I told her I hoped she was working hard to find another job, otherwise I was not sure how she could sleep at night. She was not amused.

It made me feel better.

I really am becoming a crotchety old man.

It is Monday, we all need a joke about now

Don and his buddies were hanging out and planning a 5-day golf trip.
Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Don headed home totally frustrated.

The following week, when Don's buddies arrived at the golf resort, they were shocked to see Don sitting in the lobby, drinking a beer and holding his putter!

"How did you talk your wife into letting you go, Don ?"

"I didn't have to," Don replied. "Last night I slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then, my wife snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise!' When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee and said, 'Carry me into the bedroom and tie me to the bed, and you can do whatever you want.'

SO.... HERE I AM !"

My Town

The boy had developed a cough yesterday and the wife asked me to scoot down to the drug store and pick up some cough syrup (does anyone still call it that?). Since it was almost halftime, and the Colts were up, I dawdled until the half and hit the streets.

Standing in the aisle with the cough and cold remedies were a couple of the town's typical citizenry: overweight, sporting long shorts that came to mid-shin and tattoos covering their arms.

I only heard a snippet of the conversation as I grabbed the medicine but it is worth repeating. White trash guy 1 was showing off his newest bit of ink to white trash guy 2.

WTG2: They keep telling me not to get anymore ink. My mother-in-law says I will never get a good job, it is not professional.

WTG1: I hear that bullshit all the time.

WTG2: Fuckin' A.

WTG1: I tell you what, if I am ever in a job interview and some fucker tells me I ain't professional, I will look that asshole right in the eye and say 'Fuck you, you son of a bitch. There ain't nothin' more professional than loving your kids and that's my kids all over my arms'.

WTG2: Hell yea, fuckin' A

Some days I wish I was a personnel officer at a factory.

Weekend Funny

WTF is it?

Weekend Funny

Baby Got Back



Airbags

Today's Earworm

Fair and balanced

I am sure you have seen the disgusting video of the school in New Jerseystan that taught the youngsters to sing a song in praise of the Obama. I have to point out that The Obama is not responsible for this odd bit of worship. The idiotic school administrators that allowed it to happen and are now defending the action should be fired. The fact this school system reportedly will not allow prayer,will not allow the kids to dress up at Halloween, calls the decorated tree at Christmas time the "holiday tree", yet can find time to indoctrinate the children into politics is reprehensible. Some parents and news reporters are especially offended as the tune of the Obama song is that of "Jesus Loves the Little Children". Sorry folks, that tune is much older and is actually a Civil War era song entitled Tramp, Tramp Tramp.

Tramp! tramp! tramp!
The boys are marching
Cheer up comrades,
They will come.
And beneath the starry flag
We shall breathe the air again
Of the free land in our own beloved home.

It is good to learn something on a Friday.

Dear President Obama

After listening to your speech at the Useless Nations yesterday, I have this to say (to paraphrase the Mrs. Obama):

For the first time in my life I am not proud of my country.

How could the American people elect such a narcissistic, inexperienced, empty suit President? Your credentials are a joke, and you make GW appear to have truckloads of "gravitas" in comparison.

One last note to the Amateur in Chief -- when nukes are outlawed, only outlaws will have nukes.

nada

Nope, nothing. No time, no thoughts. Monday I had a dozen posts dancing in my brainpan. After two days in Detroit, I have nothing.

I do have a new laptop. There is that.

50 50 50 50 50 50 50 50 50 50 50 hahahahaa

Please join me in wishing my big older so very much older brother, Otter, a very happiest of Birthdays.

He is fifty, yes, 50 a senior citizen today. The big five-O, and I am not talking Hawaii. A half of a century old.

Wow, you are old Brother.



Feel free to make fun of him in the comments!

Best wishes for the happiest of days. Love you.

Example 1,693 of why you wish you were me

I just threw a couple of bratwurst on the grill and emptied a can of 'kraut into a saucepan.

What are you having for lunch?

An oldie, but goodie

The other day I went downtown to run a few errands. I went into
the local coffee shop for a snack.

I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out,
there was this cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired
person a break'?

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. His
insensitivity annoyed me, so I called him a 'Nazi.'

He glared at me and then wrote out another ticket for having
worn tires.

So I proceeded to call him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He
finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the
first.

Then he wrote a third ticket when I called him a moron in blue..

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I talked back to
him the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't really care. I came downtown on the bus, and
the car that he was putting the tickets on had one of those
bumper stickers that said, ' Obama '08.'

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired.

The doctor tells me that it's important for my health.

A half-assed movie review

After a recent viewing with the perspective of age (both my body and the movie), I can only say that Easy Rider is a piece of shit movie. It boasts great photography, but little else to recommend it in my book.

Charlie Daniel's classic song Uneasy Rider has far more plot, sense of humor, character development and social commentary.



Agree, disagree, whatever. Have a good Sunday.

Just who was a liar afterall?

Even though I do not believe we can extend coverage to those who are here illegally, I also don’t simply believe we can simply ignore the fact that our immigration system is broken,” Mr. Obama said Wednesday evening in a speech to the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute. “That’s why I strongly support making sure folks who are here legally have access to affordable, quality health insurance under this plan, just like everybody else."

Obama added, “If anything, this debate underscores the necessity of passing comprehensive immigration reform and resolving the issue of 12 million undocumented people living and working in this country once and for all.”

Uh, I guess that Joe Wilson might have been right after all. Or does that make me a racist too?

Lets get ready to ramble

Happy Saturday to you. It is mildly depressing to wake and see the sun is just sending its first pink rays over the big grasses in the backyard. That is not a whine about getting up early (Dick), rather an observation that fall is on its way. I can say that every season we are in is my favorite, and one of the best things about living here in the middle of the country is that we enjoy four distinct seasons. I love cool crisp air of fall, and I will readily admit I miss the smell of burning leaves that I associate in my memory with that season. The days are getting shorter and that is just life, my friends.

I think I have completed my war on the wasps. I have a pile of yellow jacket bodies about an inch high next to the hole in the wood and only one or two forlorn relatives buzz by and take their leave without even dropping off a casserole or meatloaf to the celebrate the wake of their loved ones.

I have been traveling a bunch the past few weeks. This week I was in the Carolinas on Monday and Tuesday. I had a day trip on Wednesday and I left for Chicago Thursday afternoon. One of the end users of my product was having some issues, and I expected a quick visit early Friday and intended to be back home by mid-afternoon. I should have known better to schedule a meeting on a Friday. I finally left Chicago at 3:00. I got to the customer's at 8:00 am.

edit: can someone from da Region please advise when, if ever, the I-65/I-80 interchange is going to be completed? It has been YEARS. The pavement they poured this spring is now being torn up again!.

The people I met with were great people. Unfortunately my widgets were but a small (but vital) part of a system. They wanted me to tell them the system was usable. There did not seem to be any issues with my widgets (we are sending samples back to the lab), but I am not in position to comment on the other components. Since a failure of the system could cost lots of money and maybe even loss of life, there is no way I can assume the liability of vouching for the other components. The catch-22 is none of the component suppliers will vouch for the system either. You would not, I will not. The best advise is to replace every component, but with thousands of units at stake, the owner is more than a little reluctant to spend thousands of dollars per unit to replace components that are likely perfectly good.

This my academic friends are the real life issues small and large business owners face every day. To replace every unit will add significant costs that will make the company unprofitable and maybe force it to close its doors. A failure resulting in a death will bankrupt the company. You will only read in the paper about the one in a million failure and declare that son of a bitch who put that unit out there should fry. You never read about the justification for not spending millions to fix what are odds on not a problem.

Anyway, here I am going all Chatty Cathy on you. My 2010 Sales Plan was due yesterday. You already have guessed it is not done. I got my forms, etc. a week ago last Thursday. I have not been in the office all week. I have a wedding this afternoon, and well, football and baseball are on tomorrow...and I need to trim the bushes and mow the yard and do those little chores that pile up when you are gone three or four days a week. I guess I will bust my hump to get my plan done by Monday, but that is not likely either. I have to forecast how many pieces every customer will buy every month in 2010. We are talking dozens of customers and hundreds of part numbers (my territory is around $25 MUSD and the average price per unit is around $6-8 bucks each). I have to leave Tuesday for a meeting Wednesday morning to discuss our business plans...

I suppose I should be working this morning instead of blogging -- decisions, decisions. I might add, since we all took pay cuts in February, I am supposed to take an afternoon off each week. I hear you, it sucks to be me. I guess they owe me.

I hope you get laid this weekend.

The Good Witch of Hoosierland

The indignation of some Lefties over criticism of Obama is just laughable to me. Dig the comment section of this post. It sends them into full "you are a racist" mode. Take a look at this cat:

What it boils down to for Lord Basil and others is: To paraphrase one of my favorite movies "Blazing Saddles", "...The Sheriff (President) is a NI...." Racism pure and simple...Another thing Basil the cleaners called and your white sheets are ready!
(BTW, we are grown ups. When you type NI.... we know what you are trying to say -- out with it.)

I keep thinking of the Glinda the Good Witch of the North telling Dorothy that her ruby slippers must be very powerful indeed or the Wicked Witch of the West wouldn't want them so badly. The lefties sure want those slippers. They will condemn and hurl the tag of racist on anyone who will dare disagree with them. Those slippers are power. The Lefties know they need to use them fast before the little people (us Munchkins) find out what they are up to. That is why they are in full "pass it now" mode, ever since the election. They are just like old Elmira Gulch, they want to take our most prized possession away from us (Toto/Total freedom). The Wicked Witch of the West (old Pelosi herself) and her cohort Obama (Barney Frank does resemble the flying monkey)know that every lurch left means losses in popularity. They try to fool us into believing they are moderates and then impose their evil witchy spells on us. I feel like I am locked into a room with an hourglass dropping grains of sand to mark my doom. Will my faithful dog and Conservative buddies arrive in time to save me? Only the elections of 2010 will tell!

You may call me the Good Witch of Hoosierland. I will do anything in my power to keep the lefties from completing an agenda that takes more of my hard earned money and giving to others, that moves our nation further into crippling debt, that puts the government in control of our nation's private industries, that moves us to a more Big Government society. I do not want the Government to dictate the temperature I set my thermostat. I want the Government out of the banking business, out of the auto business and as far away from my health care as possible. I will do my best to slip on those ruby slippers and tapity tap my way out of the nightmare of Pelosi and Reid and Obama.

The Wizard of Oz was an allegory about the Gold Standard (the Wicked Witch of the West represented the silver miners), I am hoping the elections of 2010 will lead us down the road of prosperity once again. The yellow brick (gold) road led to the Emerald City (dollars). Oh, and the original version featured gold slippers, not ruby. Never forget our current economic trouble began with the election of Democrats in 2006. Could the dropping of the house represent the falling housing market? After all wicked witches (Senators) from the East (Dodd and Frank) were responsible? Maybe the book has held up better than I thought over the last hundred years.

Thanks for the idea, Honored Representative of the Lollipop Guild Get it, you suck?

Put your hopes in wind power!

I was laughing my ass off on my way to Chicago this afternoon. On I-65, north of Lafayette, Indiana they have built a massive new wind farm. It covers miles of farmland. They are monster windmills. I bet there are at least one hundred of them.

Not one single blade was turning. As far as they eye could see: not a single watt of power being generated.

Oh, how I wished I had a camera handy.

I tell you it brought a tear to my eye and I gave a massive thanks to God for putting large coal deposits in southern Indiana.

The racism backlash

There is no doubt I am not the brightest flame in the candelabra. I am not a great writer either. In fact much of my thought may not be too original. I feel strongly that the following must be said by as many people as possible.

I am deeply, deeply offended when I am called a racist. I am not going to posit that some of my best friends are black, because it is just not true. I live in a mostly white community. I grew up in a white community. I am not sure there was a black family in my whole county when I grew up. I have told some black jokes. I have told Polish and Catholic and German and etc...jokes. So have you, no matter the amount of pigment in our skin. There is my mea culpa. In the end, I could care less what color of skin a person has. Skin tone and hair color and eye color are all functions of genetics. Fifty-three million or so Americans voted for Obama. A percentage voted for him based on the color of his skin alone. That my friends is just as racist as the percentage that voted nay for the same reason. I voted against him based on his politics. After all, if race were an issue, President Obama is equally white.

Back during the Reverend Wright scandal Candidate Obama said it was time for the Country to move forward with a constructive race relations dialogue. President Obama jumped to some ill-considered conclusions in the Harvard Professor scandal. He was a man and admitted he was wrong. All of us make mistakes.

Now some of his strongest supporters are claiming any opposition to President Obama's initiatives is based in racism. That cannot stand. President Obama must step forward and stop this unfounded position now. Now is the time for the President to show some real statesman-like qualities. He knows opposition to his programs is not rooted in skin color. Conservatives were against universal health care long before President Obama took the stage. Was it racist to not support Hillary-care? Here is an example of more of the same kind of broad brush labeling the liberals claim to despise. MS O'Brien claims this post and the associated comments are stocked full of racism. I guess I am beyond dumb, I need someone to point out what in the post is racist.

The President can lay now the groundwork for his legacy. His Administration can be about bigotry and racism, or he can rise above it. He can set the tone now that it matters not the color of flesh that covers a person's bones, or he can brand us all racists and bigots. To step above the fray will move race relations forward more than at any time in our history. To allow half the nation to be branded as one step short of sewing up the white sheets will ensure a person of color will not be elected again for a long time.

Science taught us that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Unfairly branding average Americans racist simply because we have a different political view will breed a strong backlash.

edit. I don't know why I bother with the effort. This is what I tried to say. The V-Man is always up to snuff.

Because some people are not too bright

I will explain this one more time. The Republicans are not the ones keeping sweeping health care reform from passing. They can be the party of NO, as the libs like to say, all they want. They do not (although they have) need to offer bi-partisan proposals.

You see the Democrats have clear majorities in both the Senate and House. They can pass any legislation they choose.

So, in this case your not cannot put the blame on Mame, you can't blame the Republicans either. The stimulus, the destruction of health care as we know it, higher taxes, out of control spending -- blame the donkey party. There is reason their symbol is an ass.

Dear Jimmy Carter

You are right. I am a bigot.

I am prejudiced against stupid old fucks that are clearly entering into dementia. Has the knowledge your Presidency was a massive failure eaten away your brain like a virulent strain of mutated gonorrhea? Are you just stupid? I don't care what color skin covers the bones of the current occupant of the White House. A stance against growing Government to unheard of levels, opposition to driving our nation into bankruptcy, taking a firm stand against destroying our already fragile economy for the sake of junk science is no more racist than proclaiming an undying hatred of sweet potatoes.

Goodness Jimmah, you have no credibility on whom the average American should support. You support terrorists, you helped prop up that commie bastard in North Korea. Why would I listen to a clearly confused old man? Racist -- what fucking nerve? Go build a house and lock yourself away. The next time you feel the urge to speak, do us all a favor and don't. You are destroying the tiny morsel of credibility you might still have.

Who am I fooling -- you are an old gasbag with no credibility and you can just kiss my racist ass.

Dear Presidnt Obama

Since you apparently have not noticed, you WON the election. You can come off the campaign trail now. Perhaps if you spent more time in the office, actually administrating you might notice what some of your employees are up to. They have started a trade war with China. They have hired Czars who believe women should be sterilized and another who thinks animals should have the "right" to sue people.

Oh and there remains that pesky economy and unemployment issue.

You might want to look at protecting those who want democracy and rule of law (like in Nicaragua and Iran). Perhaps you should quit trying to shit on Israel. Maybe an actual response to the North Korean's aggression would be nice. A few days in the office will do you good.

I guess since you have never run anything in your life you are a little confused on what an executive does. Here is a hint -- you are fucking up.

Happiest of days

Today is my little girl's birthday. She is 23. She will always be my little princess.

Quick Hits Monday Edition

Jay Cutler -- Karma is a real bitch, you whiner. Hahahahaah. I like the Bears, but Cutler deserved a little bitch slapping for his cry-baby attitude in Denver.

Brandon Stokley is laughing ass off still. Th bungles are aptly named today.

Why is there no outcry to defend and investigate ACORN. When there are so many allegations of fraud and wrongdoing is that not an indication of systematic failure to observe the law? One or two bad employees might be rogues. Hundreds is a trend.

The Obama stepped away from any kind of tort reform. I guess the Trial Lawyer lobbyists are intent on getting their money's worth.

My phone is a total and complete piece of shit. I am due for an upgrade next month and I am seriously thinking of going with the iPhone.

Weekend Funny -- Idiots on parade edition

You have to click to embiggen -- you will not believe your eyes

Weekend Funny OMG Edition

I hate snakes

Home Invasion -- a true Hoosierboy story

Late last night I was watching some show about deadly African animals. Through the front door came an invader. He was big and black and he was proclaiming his need for a woman. He moved down the hall to where the wife was sleeping and I chased him. He shouted he was horny and was going to get some. I tracked him through the darkened house, my weapon at the ready.

I caught him outside the door and gave him a beating he will never forget. I left him crippled and oozing blood.

Then I scooped the black bastard up with the flyswatter and tossed him in the toilet.

Did I forget to mention he was a cricket? Not the Buddy Holly kind.

Just a thought

Let me start with this comment. If you have to be reminded about the events of September 11, especially on this date, there is no hope for you. You are destined to be the victim your entire life.

If you are not sure that an large percentage of a certain religion is determined to destroy your entire way of life, you should study history. Look up Charles Martel for starters.

If you still do not get it, start reading the Koran and practice bowing down, you are in store for a lot of time on your knees.

What health care really means

I did not watch The Obama's speech last night. Unless he said he is abandoning completely his plan to socialize medicine, I am not interested.

I am not the first to say this,or think it, but I have finally come to believe that Obama and his cohorts have a very different goal in mind. They are not interested in a better health care plan for Americans (isn't it funny how that number of uninsured keeps growing?). This is about power. Obama told us on the campaign trail we would know him by the people he surrounds himself with. He has surrounded himself with ultra far left socialists. This is not about healthcare, it is that you have something better than someone else and it has to be taken away.

Obama is not concerned about falling home values, you made too much money in real estate. He is glad the stock market tanked -- greedy investors deserved it. He wants to tell more than just bankers how much they can make -- and why isn't each and every one of us outraged over the Pay Czar? Who in the Hell is the Federal Government to tell someone how much he can earn? By the way, as pointed out at Braden's Corner, if Michael "Commie" Moore thinks capitalism so so evil, why is he charging the public to see his movies? Will he be giving all profits to the Government to help the downtrodden? In fact I encourage each and every one of you who approve of the socialist agenda to give up every dollar you make above the poverty level. Those of you who think "Obama is not going far enough" with his leftist agenda (I am calling you out in NE Ohio) pledge to give up every thing you make above the Federal Poverty level to help the uninsured and homeless.

History has demonstrated the way to stimulate spending is to give people more of their money. Even Pelosi and company believed this in 2007. Now it is through Government projects that will not come to life for at least another year. Why the change? Because Obama and company believe the wealth belongs to the government, and you have too much of it. He was not kidding when he told Joe the Plumber we need to spread the wealth. He wants to take from the haves an give it to not only the have nots, but the will nots.

For Obama the Constitutional promise of equal opportunity means equal outcomes. So as you digest his speech from last night, and try to make up your mind, remember the idea is not to improve healthcare, but to make sure your plan is no better than your neighbor's, even if you have to pay more in taxes to make that so.

Do you have buyer's remorse yet?

Here is a typical Democrat

"I don't want to end up on YouTube" hahahahahahaha. What a dick.

h/t GrumpyUnk

Random Ramblings

The work week is already half over. What does it say about my current work morale when I long for a vacation just two days after a long weekend?

You know, if the ants ever get together and rise up, we are in deep trouble?

Wouldn't be weird to watch Groundhog Day over and over?

How many times a week does Versus show the movie Bloodsport? "You break my record, now I break you..."

I think I am becoming obsessed with the show Chopped on the Food Network. If you have not seen it, four chefs compete to make an appetizer, main course and dessert. One chef is knocked out after each round and the final winner gets $10,000. The kicker is they get limited time to make the meals, and they have a basket of ingredients they have to use. The stuff never goes together. The chefs might find their basket contains corn chips, gummy nears and flank steak or some such. They have to use all of the ingredients and make a main course in 30 minutes. It is crazy.

The Obama is giving his big pep rally speech on health care tonight. Let me know if he says something worthwhile.

The average Fat in Indiana reader

Well readers you are average, I will give you that. In fact you may be above average, at least those of you who participated in my latest poll.

According to the handy-dandy Pocket Guide to Transportation as published by the Feds, here are the breakdown of the number of cars in households as of 2007:

0 vehicles 8.7%
1 vehicle 33.1%
2 vehicles 38.1%
3 or more 20.1%

Don't you feel just a bit smarter today?

Unwanted and unloved

My oldest boy lives in an apartment in the city where he goes to college. He lives with two other guys. A month or so ago some girls asked them if they would take care of a dog for them. One of the girl's mother gave it to them as she could not keep it for some reason. Girl number one had a dog and it did not like this dog (confused yet?). The dog was part poodle part pug and my son said it was the ugliest dog ever. He said it was a good dog and it never barked or jumped on you. He slept in my son's room and they were getting to be good pals. Only his roommates hated the dog. They did not want to take care of it. They would not take it out when my son was at class or work so it shit and peed on the carpet, which made them hate it even more.

The wife was talking to him and one of the roommates took the dog back to the girls' house. They have given it back to the Mom and my son believes the dog is at the pound. He lamented, "The dog is not a puppy, it is so ugly no one will adopt it. A good dog is about to die because no one wanted it but me, and I cannot have it." He said he asked the girls which pound, but they said they did not know or really care.

These things happen every day. It still makes we want to cry for a dog no one wants.

Take the day off, tell the boss I said it was OK

It is Monday and most of us do not have to work. Three day weekends kind of make you feel like you are pulling a fast one doesn't it? It is the same feeling you got as a kid when you cut class. Instead of holiday weekend we should call them hooky weekends. On the other hand that sounds like 'hooker" weekend and some people might get the wrong idea. I bet some of you goody-two shoes never played hooky or cut class. I lived about a block from the high school, so on more than one occasion when we had a late afternoon fire drill, I just kept on walking. One could always get a classmate to tell the teacher I went home sick. It was especially easy to cut band. That was the last period of the day. The band director could not pay attention to which of his 100 students were there. He spent all of class with the flutes and clarinets anyway.

The Cubs blew another one yesterday. They have virtually no chance of making the playoffs. I am not surprised. They will not win a World Series in my lifetime. They only got to the Series in 1908 on a freak play -- Merkle's Boner. Look it up, learn something today. Since it is a no-work day here is a link. You have to click it yourself, I can't do everything around here.

NFL Football begins in earnest this week. We will find out in short order if our favorite team is any good.

We went to the mall yesterday since it was raining on and off. We got the boy some sweatshirts and jeans. It was depressing. No not buying the kid some clothes, all of the girls had on T-shirts and sweatshirts and even jeans. No more low-cut tank tops and spaghetti straps. There was a lot less cleavage and suntanned skin to discretely admire. Not that I would do that of course...

The DVD cabinet is calling. Relax and have a great day.

Weekend update

Here it is 7:00 in the am on Sunday. I have been awake about an hour and that depresses me. It is weird, it is still dark out, it is not supposed to rain until late this evening -- must be a heavy cloud cover.

The wife and I did something crazy last night. We went to the casino! Neither of us have ever been to a gambling hall before. We went to grab a bite to eat with some friends (casino virgins too). One of the restaurants had been recommended to us. The food was good and reasonably priced.

Afterward we walked around the joint. We decided to play some of the slots and I have to admit, I just do not get it. I guess things have progressed from the little window with three images. There was not even an arm to pull! I had no idea if I won lost or whatever. I am apparently just not smart enough to get it. Bet how many lines? I don't know. Luckily it was one cent and two cent slots. The lady next to my wife won $46 bucks, so I guess some money can be made. I won a total of $0.37, which went into my credits and I pushed the button until my credits said zero. I had no idea how to win, or lose. We had fun.

We came back to the house and drank a couple of beers and played some cards. I had made some turtle brownies from a recipe the wife has. I am not sure what I did wrong. Instead of being thick and dense like a brownie they are light and fluffy like a cake. Frankly, they are not very good. I am normally a pretty good cook, but lately everything comes out blah. I even burnt the Spam the other day. I am going to blame it on Lack O'Nooky. She often messes with my brain...Oh, I have a crock pot full of cocktail weinies we never touched. Come on over and I will get them out of the 'fridge.

I suppose I should mow the lawn later, unless I can think of an excuse not to. Urgent update (7:45 am) -- it is raining, no mowing for me!

Aren't you glad you spent time reading that?

A confidential note to you

What are you doing here? It is a holiday weekend. Make love to your significant other, read a book, smoke a cigar, drink a beer, play ball or Barbies with your kids, mow the yard, sit in the sun, go to a movie, watch a ball game, ride a bike, go to a park, eat some pizza, buy some winter clothes, swim, wash the car, do anything but spend your day on the computer. The Union will survive without us discussing politics. I can live without the hits and links. Take the day weekend off.

Thank me Monday Tuesday.

An experiment

Let us try a little experiment:

I want each of you to write yourself a letter detailing all of the ways you can help me.

Yep, I was right -- that line does make me look like a complete self-centered asshole, a jerk with a Messiah complex, a megalomaniac of epic proportions. On the bright side, I am not the President, The One, so no one will think I am trying to indoctrinate the youth of this country.

I am just sayin'.

Anti Fatty Friday

Big Dick posts his Fatty Friday feature. Here is the antidote.

Just as disgusting though.

Fly the Friendly Skies

According to my Pocket Guide to Transportation as published by the Bureau of Transportation Statistics, Research and Innovation Administration, US Department of Transportation, the top fifteen airports in the World for passenger movement (2007) are:

1. Atlanta, GA (Hartsfield)
2. Chicago, IL (O'Hare)
3. London, England (Heathrow)
4. Tokyo, Japan (Narita)
5. Los Angeles, CA (LAX)
6. Paris, France (Chuck de Gaulle)
7. Dallas/Ft Worth, TX
8. Frankfurt, Germany
9. Beijing, China (Beijing Capital)
10. Madrid, Spain
11. Denver. CO
12. Amsterdam, Netherlands (Schipol)
13. New York, NY (JFK)
14. Hong Kong, China
15. Las Vegas, NV

I have flown through or to those in bold. I think I once connected in Las Vegas, but I cannot remember for sure, so I will not count it. When you have flown commercial more times than you can remember or count (500, 600? -- somewhere in that range) you spend too much time on the road.

Going Green

Yesterday afternoon a couple of hippie-types knocked on the door. As I was on the phone for work the wife talked to them. They were with the Citizens Action Coalition, an advocacy group that fights the Utilities. They asked the wife to sign a petition against Cap and Trade. Since she has heard me rant about that abortion of a bill, she readily signed and gave them five bucks to defray costs.

She handed me the literature they were handing out and it turns out they are against Cap and Trade, but only because it still allows coal plant to exist. They want the act defeated and rewritten to advocate only solar and wind power -- they are against nukes, coal gasification and natural gas power plants too.

Here is some of the idiocy that liberals cannot understand, taken directly from the broadside. According to the CAC, a coal fired plant costs 7 to 10 cents per kilowatt hour. Wind costs 4 to 9 cents per kilowatt hour. Let us leave aside the fact that the wind does not always blow, and we have yet to solve the storage issue of the power it does generate. According to the above numbers, wind will save 1 to 6 cents per kilowatt hour. The average savings is about 2 cents.

The CAC says windpower will create 4-5 times more jobs than fossil fuel plants. Of course we will have to lay off all of the workers at he fossil fuel plants, the coal mines, the transportation providers, etc. An estimated 81,000 are currently employed as coal miners, according to the US Dept of Energy, including nearly 3,000 in Indiana. Advocates for wind energy lay claim to many jobs, but most are in creating the components and construction of wind farms. A wind farm takes little or no employee monitoring after it is in operation. We will lose tens of thousands of permanent jobs to create short-term jobs, all to save two cents (at best.

Current wind farms have a 40% to 60% power loss when generating long distance. In addition, a windmill generates a mere fraction of the power generate by a coal or nuclear plant. Farmers are complaining now abut the loss of farmland, what will happen when the breadbasket states are covered with windfarms to provide power for the cities?

What will happen to the shaky power grid when we all plug in our cars every night? If these yahoos have their way, I guess we will have to add one more line to our prayers as we lay me down to sleep -- please God, make the wind blow hard...