A pot of chili, the hand of God, and me

Part One. I made a pot of chili Monday night. I am not fond of the stuff (beans), but the wife loves it. She has a serious case of acid reflux or maybe even an ulcer. If she eats spicy foods she is up vomiting all night. She is a stubborn mule and will not go to the doctor. I made the chili deliberately mild, to the point she complained I did not put in enough spice.

Part Two. Our alarm clock is an old digital model we have had for at least twenty years. It has never failed. It has two alarm settings. Alarm 1 I never change, that is the time I get up. I set alarm 2 for unusual needs, like a two hour delay of school etc.

Part Three. I get up every morning at 6:14 am to wake the boy for school. I wake the wife at 6:50 so she can get ready for work. Often I go back to sleep after I get her up for a quick half-hour power nap before I start my long commute to the spare bedroom to work.

Part Four. In spite of the mildness of the chili, the wife was up sick all night. When she was not in the bathroom, she was tossing and turning and keeping me awake. When the alarm went off Tuesday morning, I was tired and grumpy. I had stayed up late Sunday night, then got very little sleep Monday night. I woke the boy. When I woke the wife I was looking forward to a little make-up sleep. She said she did not know if she was going to work since she still did not feel good. She did not get up. I woke he again about five minutes later. She said again she did not know if she was getting up or not. So I ask myself, am I supposed to keep waking her or not? Who knows? She has to call in if she is not going. I want to go back to bed, but I can't until she makes up her mind.

I wake her a third time. Again I ask if she is getting up. again no definite answer. I tell her to go, don't go, just take a decision. I tell her I am tired of waking her. This pisses her off. She decides she is not working and goes back to bed.

I power nap on the couch for about 20 minutes. I have to leave for Michiana later Tuesday morning. She mentions she set the alarm and is going in 1/2 day. She is still mad at me because I was irritated at her indecision. Whatever.

Part Five. I woke with a start Wednesday morning. It is 6:16, two minutes after the alarm is supposed to go off. WTF? I check the alarm, yes it is on. I check the time -- the wife had changed Alarm 1! It is a miracle I am awake. I get up the boy. When it is time to wake the wife I tell her it was the hand of God who woke me up in time this morning. I am in a good mood because in spite of a potential disaster I woke on time. I ask her why she changed the main alarm? She said it was closer to her. I point out the buttons to set Alarm 1 and Alarm 2 are less than 1/2 inch apart. She points out I should have known she would change Alarm 1, and it is my fault we nearly overslept.

A smart guy would have dropped it. You may have noticed if you read here much that I have a need to prove I am right at times -- like when I am.

I told her we NEVER have changed Alarm 1 once it is set. She said she is tired of me being an asshole every morning.

I now double check the time is correct on the alarm clock every night before I go to sleep.

That is how a pot of chili and the hand of God combined to put me into the doghouse.