A post where the author rambles a bit then offers up some real good stuff for the youth of America

I am a lazy bastard. I did not get the yard done yesterday. I am not sure what I did, but I ran out of time.  I guess I know what is on tap for today. It is a good thing I waited. The humidity is much higher today. You know it is going to be sweltering when the windows are steamed at 6:30 AM. Why spend big money for a sauna when you can just walk outside and sweat off a few pounds?

We went to dinner and a movie with some friends last night. They live in our old neighborhood. They were pretty much the first people we met when my family moved here in 1989. We have kids the same age. I had a nice time. We saw Horrible Bosses. The movie was funny as heck. The film does not have a deeper meaning, it has no relevant social message. It is not artistic nor a modern example of the deep themes of man's inhumanity to man, or man vs. nature, or man's insignificance to nature, but rather an entertaining funny two hour diversion. In other words, my kind of movie.

By the way, I have some advice for you young scholars preparing to enter an institution of higher learning or perhaps even an advanced course in English lit at you local high school. Those themes I mentioned above (man v. man, man v. nature/god, and man's insignificance to nature/god) will cover about 95% of all books ever written. If the Professor or teacher asks the theme of the book you can safely choose the one that best fits the work and sound like you know what you are talking about.

I made this discovery early in my sophomore year of college when called upon by Dr. H (who mispronounced my name on purpose for four years) to explain to the class what was the theme. Thinking to be a smartass, I made up one of the above (I cannot remember which) and was lauded for having true insight. I paid attention and found the three themes covered nearly every situation that came up in English Lit class -- with many different professors! It was a real AHAH! moment for me.

I spent four years and a veritable fortune at a small, private, all male, semi-prestigious liberal arts college learning the same lesson I just tossed to the blog world for free. What a giver I am. Try it. Name any great work of literature and see if one of the three great themes I mentioned does not fit. The same goes for film, since film is just a visual work of literature. Hey, There is a bonus gift from me.  "Film as Literature: A study of Common Themes" . I just gave you the topic and title for you final research paper in English 101. All you have to do is name some great works of literature -- preferably some of the ones you studied in class -- and find some great works of film and compare how they explored common themes.

Right there is a research paper that almost writes itself. All you have to do is fill in the details and cite examples and a few quotations. I could knock off ten to fifteen pages typed double spaced (with footnotes) in about two days given the kind of head start I just offered. Unless you are a complete dolt you just earned yourself a B+.

As a second bonus I will share a secret entrusted me by my first faculty advisor. If you can work a colon or semicolon into the title of a paper it will increase your grade by one third -- ie.; from a B to a B+.

You better bookmark this post for the young scholar in your life. I cannot believe I am giving out success tips like this for free.