Dear President Obama

If you really want to help the Average Joe and Cheryl Citizen I suggest you invoke an executive order. Gather up your FBI, and Red Cell teams and employ some of that sooper-secrit NSA computer power. Take that ability to monitor every phone call and find those sleazy motherfucking scumbags who call my phones every damn day offering to reduce my credit card interest rates and to refinance my home with no cost.

Mr. Obama, if you are tired of people complaining the Government is worthless and does not meet the needs of the citizens, then the failure of the "No Call Lists" is example numero uno of your typical law of good intentions that accomplishes nothing. For goodness sake, we can read a license plate number from space. We can track a terrorist within feet of his location. We can monitor phone calls from any cell phone. I suspect you record every keystroke on this computer. Covert security cameras watch our every move in the cities. Technology exists to evaluate and measure my driving speed, distance and frequency. You know what I watch, and how much money I make. The Government will know my most intimate details of my medical records, from the broken fingers in elementary school to the crabs I got in college.

But for some reason we cannot find the owners of  automatic dialing machines that call a large percentage of the nation every freakin' day.

Find those telemarketing bastards, lock 'em up in Gitmo, or some other dank cell and have a phone ring every two minutes in their ear for the rest of their lives.  For good measure have a Navy Seal administer a severe and accurately aimed kick to the nuts every day or two. If we still have one of those waterboarding experts on staff from the Bush years, he can practice his art as well.

Thank you in advance for your help.