Lucky you

I said I probably wouldn’t post. I lied. Total complete boredom compels me to electronically scribble a note to you.

“How’s that?” , you ask. I’m here in Canukistan on a long layover. I have free WiFi. I’ve been here since just before eight AM. My next flight leaves at 1320 for those of you who can tell military time. That means I have — lemme pull out my fingers and count — a bunch of free time. Then, my boredom unsated, I get to climb into another flying tube of aluminum and fly west for 15 hours or so. Yay, me. Then I get to ride in a car for three or four hours. My total trip will be pushing 30 hours from the time I left home. Say it with me “Boy, Joe, I wish I had your job, traveling to those cool places”.

I said say it.

Since I am parked in the international terminal the loudspeaker is blaring in multiple languages. Since it is Canada, everything is in English and Surrender Frog. Gotta keep those Québécois happy. Of course, hypocrite I am, I will need all announcements in China to be in a English. It is my right as an American. Everyone knows that. Catering to me is completely different. I think that is called irony, and it has nothing to do with wrinkled shirts.

Security took forever this morning. There were only two lines open: one for TSA Pre, one for the rest of us schmucks. I got there just in time, after I moved into the queue, the line stretched almost back to the central airport lobby. You would have thought a few of the 15 or 20 TSA types standing around talking about last night’s episode of Last Housewives or something could have fired up another x-ray machine, but that is just thinking crazy. One Agent told folks in the back of the line there were six lanes open in the B Terminal with no waiting. He said they could go over there. I just wondered why they didn’t bring some of those  superfluous TSA agents over to the A Terminal and open up another lane? Silly me.

I’m giving serious thought to lying down on the dirty floor and taking a snooze. I’m afraid I will sleep right through my flight. I could set an alarm, but mostly I’m just all talk. Besides, I need to sleep over on the plane. I have to get my body clock shifted 12 hours.

Enough bitching. How’s your weekend going?