A miracle drug

Oft times I have utilized exaggeration and hyperbole for entertainment purposes.

Oh

Yes, reader, it is true.

Say it ain’t so, Joe.

Today it is not the case. Today, I am going to tell you about a miracle. I have ugly feet. My heels are narrow and have spurs that make breaking in new shoes painful. The arches are high, the toes very flat. I’m missing a couple of toenails. The skin is dry and heavily callused and often cracked, rough, and sometimes bleeding from dryness.

Ummm, sexy

Many diabetics have dry skin. My heels are so rough I have occasionally torn holes into the heels of socks. No lie. I have tried a variety of creams and lotions with limited success. Today, my friends, I’m going to tell you about a cure that has provided dry skin relief in just a couple of days. I’m not healed, but my footsies are no longer ripping holes in the wife’s good sheets.

Tell us already

I switched doctors a year or so ago and this guy is competent and efficient. If your appointment is for 8:30, you are in the exam room by 8:33. I never have to play iPhone euchre in the waiting room. In the course of a foot exam he tells me that he could prescribe some expensive meds that would help with the rhino-like skin on my heels. He said they are expensive but that Crisco works just as well.

Did you just say Crisco?

That was my reaction too! Crisco? Yep, it seems vegetable shortening is close to your own natural oils. So far, it seems to work as well as the stuff from the drug store. BTW, I bought a different can of shortening to use for cooking.  No one wants foot-flavored pie crust. I just slather some on before bed and pull on some socks.

Anyway, my feet are not healed, but they are softer and less cracked after just a couple of days.

I just can’t figure out why I keep craving fried chicken.