Three Rednecks

 Three Rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower: Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie.

As they start their descent Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says,

“Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife.”

Donnie says, “OK, I’m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I’ll do it.”

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser.

Ronnie says, “Where did you get that beer, Donnie?”

Cooter’s wife gave it to me,” Ronnie replies.

That’s unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?”

“Well, not exactly,” Donnie says. “When she answered the door, I said to her, ‘You must be Cooter’s widow’”.

She said, “You must be mistaken, I’m not a widow.”

Then I said, “I’ll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.”

Because you asked nicely

 I’m drinking French Roast this morning.

That is all.

time to make the donuts

 Sorry, I have not forgotten you. My creative energy is still going to my story. I am more than 35,000 words in and I have yet to hit a wall. Certainly even writing that last sentence will engender writer’s block.  My biggest problem is lack of feedback. I have no idea if the story is any good. I’m thinking about creating a blog and posting the thing a chapter at a time. We shall see. I have rewrites first. 

The grandgirls spent the night. As soon as everyone is up the oldest is going to help make fried biscuit donuts. 

I hear someone coming down the stairs. Time to cook.

Have a great Saturday.

Snowmeggedon

Weather forecasters hyped a big snow event for today. We were told to expect upwards of a half-foot of the white stuff, and they really meant it this time. We still have many hours before the day is done, but it better get started soon. That 1/8” on the grass and wet pavement is making all those administrators who canceled school look like fools. 

I might be wrong, it may really come down between now and early afternoon. We shall see.

In any case, 45 years ago we were hit with theBlizzard of ‘78, now that was some snow.  My wife’s father died during the blizzard, so she remembers it well. 

So What?

There is a light dusting of snow on the ground; less than an inch. A few flakes continue to fall. I am inside where it is warm, what do I care? Why should you? The short answer is you do not. 

I slept in again this morning. That is two days in a row. I have climbed out of bed between six and six-thirty without an alarm, almost without fail, for decades. Now I find myself still in bed at 8:00! I wonder what is going on. 

I almost shaved my beard yesterday. I like having it, but it just isn’t me when I look in the mirror. I trimmed it up. I will certainly be back to my clean-shaven self by spring. 

The wife suggested potato soup and BLTs for dinner. I think beef and noodles sounds good. 

There. You have an entire post filled with trivialities and stuff even  I do not care about. It takes real skill to be this boring. 

Have a great Sunday.

Think about that on April 15th

We have given around $150,000,000,000.00 to the Government of Ukraine in the last year or so. There is no accountability for any of that money. For all you and I know, a good chunk of that cash is now in somebody’s Swiss Bank account. 

Most politicians are lamenting we need to increase our federally mandated debt ceiling. “we have spent that money, we need to pay our bills” they tell us. BTW don’t you wish you could spend with impunity and then demand the bank increase. your credit card limit based on the fact that “you have already spent the money”? A more apt description is you spend someone else’s money and then want the bank to increase their credit so you can spend more. 

Anyway, for those politicians worried about “paying our bills”, how many bills would that Ukrainian money cover? 

Finally, one last thought: do you realize we are borrowing the money (and paying interest on that money) we are sending Ukraine? If Ukraine is a good investment, Ukraine should take out their own loans, or at least sign a promissory note to the US taxpayers. 

Mr. LePew is in the House.

We went to a local pizza joint last night for dinner. The food was great. The service was wonderful. The price was...fair and competitive. The hostess that led us to our table stunk. Not at her job. Her body. She stunk bad. It was more than one day’s worth of BO. You could smell her when she walked nearby. It almost made one lose an appetite. 

I’m not sure, in today’s world where every possible thing is viewed as an offense, how a manager or coworker addresses a stinky employee?

If she worked for me I would find away, because that kind of odor drives away customers.

Another great one is gone

Another great musician has left the building. David Crosby has passed away. I have always enjoyed the Byrds and especially CSN.

No one can claim Crosby did not enjoy himself. His life  was the definition of hedonism.

RIP

and here we are

 Sorry about the old blog. I have been consumed with a long, for me, creative period and I have been actually writing. I have resumed work on an old story I started a decade ago. The story is just coming to me. I am even dreaming about what happens next.  I am 20,000 words in and I like where it is going. 

Is it any good? Probably not. Does it need a professional editor? Undoubtedly. I am enjoying living with these characters, even if they will never see the light of day beyond this bare mention in a most obscure blog. 

The old blog is a distant priority behind work and the story for now. Sorry about that. 

Tuesday Joke

For Michael’s birthday, his wife wanted to surprise him when he came home from work.

After some careful consideration, she decided to strip naked and wrap herself in saran wrap from her shoulders to her ankles.

Pretty soon Michael enters his house exhausted from a tough day at work.

He walks through the kitchen, places his lunch box down, and hears his wife say,

“Honey! I’m in the living room.”

Rounding the corner, he spots her all wrapped up in plastic.

After a quick peek,

he immediately says,

“Leftovers again!”

A post for me

Today would be my dad’s 85th birthday. 

I miss you, Pop.

Of pots and kettles

It looks like Biden stashed top secrets documents in a closet, in his garage, and the laundry room. His first excuse was he didn’t know he had them. That reinforced the whole “he’s senile” perception. Now the White House claims that the documents were accidentally packed because aides were in a rush in the closing days of the Vice Presidency. 

Really? Biden knew for two months four years he had to vacate the Blair House and his office. It seems like his exit from the VP office was executed with the same foresight, planning, and lack of success as the withdrawal from Afghanistan. 

And Biden had the temerity to claim Trump was irresponsible. Trump admitted he had documents. He just believes they were his. Biden just hid his until after the mid-terms. 

Of course, both are mere amateurs when it comes to keeping secret papers. They should have checked in with Hillary on how to really hide a stash. 

Acting Out

We went to see the new Tom Hanks movie last night. If he isn’t the greatest actor since Spencer Tracy, I don’t know who is. 

Hanks is a true once in a generation talent.

The movie is terrific.

Fridayliscious

 Happy Friday. It is still dark. It is the expected January cold. It could be worse. 

There the normal blog start is done. 

I feel lousy today. Not your problem. I’ll be fine. 

I have routine stuff to do today — submit expenses, paperwork, blah, blah. 

Yes, my life really is this boring.

How about a little music to get the day going?

the great ones are dying off

Jeff Beck, one of the great musicians of our time, has passed away.  The world is a little less colorful today. 

If you are not familiar with his work, I suggest you head over to YouTube right away.

Evaluating Memories

I have a call scheduled with my boss this afternoon for my annual performance review. I’m not too worried about it. Clearly he thinks I’m doing OK, since he protected me from the end of year layoffs. Of course there will be things I need to do better. I hope there are things he believes I do well.

Reviews are interesting. I have not had a performance review for twenty years. My last company didn’t do them. Everyone in the company got the same raise, if one was given. Yes, it was run by New York liberals. There were no merit raises. 

I would venture my best review, as in very well done, was by probably my worst boss. It was thorough, and provided examples. That was back in the early 1990s. I still have a copy somewhere.

Back when I had direct reports I used to start the process with an explanation of my grading criteria. If the scale was 1-5, I rarely gave out fives in any category. I also rarely gave out ones, I believe if someone is performing that far below expectations I should have already addressed it. 

At one company I had an employee who did her job better than the rest of my employees. She was on-time, her work product was perfect, she took responsibility and helped out proactively. She had a shitty attitude about life, and probably with reason, but it didn’t affect her job performance. As far as work, she came close to getting fives. Pat didn’t do small talk, she wasn’t gregarious, she would not go on break with her co-workers,  she just did her job and did it well. She wasn’t someone you would hang out with, but she was very good at her job.

On her “self-assessment” portion. Pat listed she had no goals. She had nothing to improve. Marked everything average. All Pat wanted was to come to work, do her job, and get a paycheck. She made that clear. Her responses enraged the HR manager. When it came to raises, HR wanted to give Pat nothing. I wanted to give her the highest percentage of my budgeted increase in the department. To me, Pat was great at her job. To HR, Pat had a bad attitude. Finally, I reached a compromise with HR. Pat had to redo her self-evaluation and “take it seriously “. 

I wasn’t surprised when Pat told me “fuck it, keep your raise” when I explained the situation. Later that afternoon she brought me a revised evaluation. That experience has colored my attitude of HR mangers since. 

And I still think self evaluations are pointless. I filled mine out last week.

Don’t Look, Ethel

So Biden took Top Secret Documents after he was VP and carelessly left them in a desk. 

I suspect the outrage from the press and Democrats (redundancy warning) to start immediately  never. Only Trump is held to a higher standard. 

My agreement is done with Really Big Customer. It shouldn’t be that easy. Now I think I left money on the table. I gave less than I budgeted, leaving room for negotiations that didn’t happen, so maybe I just hit that very narrow win-win the books talk about. Maybe I’m just good. Maybe the other guys just didn’t want to argue. Who knows?

Starting tomorrow the primary street that feeds my neighborhood and several others will be cut off from the main highway. A major rebuilding project has been ongoing for years to the highway, with one interchange left. Now they have run out of money. So tens of thousands will have to drive miles out of the way to eliminate a stoplight that has been there for decades. An estimated 67,000 people use that intersection every day, but we are just going to close it until they do rebidding this fall. That means at least 2024 or 2025 until the new elevated roundabout will be complete. Sorry, it sucks to be you taxpayer. 

We have money for a new art center and bike trails no one uses, but the funds are just not there for a damn street. Oh, and sucks to be you small business owners in the strip malls that line both sides of the highway. And the only other way into the stores and neighborhoods goes through school zones. That’s a great idea, feed traffic through schools. 

F-ing bureaucrats and politicians.

Enough rambling on about nothing, I have to get to work. I have a long commute. It is all of two steps from my office recliner to my desk. 

can’t be bothered

Good morning. We find ourselves on a gloomy Sunday. I wish I could report a fun and active weekend so far, but that would be a lie. I accomplished absolutely nothing yesterday. It was the very definition of a lazy day. I sat on the couch, a veritable couch potato all day, occasionally dozing and flipping channels. I also read a bit. I was too lazy to wander upstairs to grab the iPad to post random nothings to waste precious seconds of your day. I thought briefly about going for a walk, but discarded that notion quickly. Lazy. I did sit n he opposite side of the couch for a while. 

I wish I could tell you I have big plans for an active and productive Sunday to make up for my wasted Saturday. Nope. I will throw a chuck roast in the Crock pot later, so theoretically I can claim I will spend the afternoon cooking. I will watch some football. I might think about fooling around with the wife, but certainly my thinking about it will be as far as that notion goes. 

I have serious nothing to accomplish today and I can’t let this blog stand in the way any longer this morning. 

Enjoy your Sunday.

Oh, Judge!

 Here we are, Friday at last. I made my contract proposal to Really Big Customer yesterday with very little pushback. The little voice in my head says that means maybe I left money on the table. I gave up less than we budgeted, so I guess it will be OK. Of course, nothing is signed, so we shall see. 

As far as I know we have no plans for the weekend. I guess that means helping the wife put away the rest of the Christmas stuff. That means more trips to the attic.

Temperatures have returned to normal, no more 60s. So it goes.

This has been stuck in my skull since yesterday afternoon. Great blues, hilarious lyrics:

I see the future

 In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:

“There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’ll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”

Visibly shaken, the wife stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.

She took a few deep breaths to compose herself – and to stop her mind racing.

She simply had to know.

She met the Fortune Teller’s gaze, steadied her voice and asked:

“Will I be acquitted?”

I set my sights on Monday

 I scrubbed the outside of the house of Christmas decorations Monday. Last evening we took down the tree, boxed the ornaments, and removed the lighted garland from the stairs. There are still some Christmas decorations around the house, but the wife will put those away this week. The house is returning to normal. The bright cheery lights are put away in time for the gloomy days of January and February. 

In a like manner, the warm weather of the past few days will move east after today and seasonal temps will return. There is even a chance for snow on Thursday. 

The Republicans continue to beclown themselves in Congress. Democrats stick together like Gorilla Glue in a dipshit’s hair. Republicans eat their own. They truly are the Stupid Party, ever seeking to snatch defeat from the edge of victory. As much as it pains me to say it, Republicans are the Chicago Cubs of politics. 

The good news is that it is already Wednesday. I present my contract proposal to Really Big Customer tomorrow morning. My self-assessment for my annual review is due Friday, and I have an engineering review this afternoon to go over all of my open projects. 

I have no idea why I am blogging instead of working.

Have a great hump day.

its not the hippies, it is their grandkids

Back to work. I’m sitting in my new office chair; my Christmas gift from my wife. It is cushiony and comfortable. The back broke on my old one some months ago, so I couldn’t lean back. That made for long days. 

The tragedy at the NFL game last night reminds us the players are all humans, playing a game. My level of disgust for the Giants player who made “snow angels” while the Colts QB writhed in agony Sunday was increased in light of the carting off of a Bills player in apparent cardiac arrest last evening.  The Giants DE’s happy celebration Sunday afternoon on the sideline as he learned the Cots player was out of the game shows the brutal side of the sport. You are not human if you find joy in hurting someone. 

Speaking of disappointment and disgust, I increasingly find politics disagreeable. I hate both parties. The left continues with their tyrannical rule, their climate change hysteria will destroy our economy and way of life. And make no mistake, that is the goal. The right only wants to squabble among themselves, content for decades to be the minority party. Both only looking to make as much money individually as possible. 

We cannot win against the woke, leftist agenda. Already my 8 year-old granddaughter says stuff I cannot believe. She didn’t learn it at home. One generation already has bought in, and are indoctrinating the next. Old farts like me have no chance. I am glad I’ll be dead before they gain complete control. 

After watching the New Year’s celebrations I am not convinced the folks who put on the Times Square celebration really know what they are doing. They keep dropping the ball.

Lazy River of Life

 Good morning and happy new year readers. Since I failed to post yesterday, I guess we are not starting the new year off so well. Oh, it was no hangover, no overindulgence, no wild romps extending into the new day. Nope, I just didn’t want to post anything. 

It’s not you, it’s me. Ha ha.

To be fair, I accomplished absolutely nothing yesterday. I did shower. I’m not that much of a heathen. I didn’t even cook dinner, we went for Mexican instead. It was the most laziest of lazy days ever. I liked it. 

Today? We will see what transpires. I’m off work. I may take down the Christmas lights outside. It is supposed to be warm. Right now it is foggy. 

Have a great Monday. I intend to.