Evaluating Memories

I have a call scheduled with my boss this afternoon for my annual performance review. I’m not too worried about it. Clearly he thinks I’m doing OK, since he protected me from the end of year layoffs. Of course there will be things I need to do better. I hope there are things he believes I do well.

Reviews are interesting. I have not had a performance review for twenty years. My last company didn’t do them. Everyone in the company got the same raise, if one was given. Yes, it was run by New York liberals. There were no merit raises. 

I would venture my best review, as in very well done, was by probably my worst boss. It was thorough, and provided examples. That was back in the early 1990s. I still have a copy somewhere.

Back when I had direct reports I used to start the process with an explanation of my grading criteria. If the scale was 1-5, I rarely gave out fives in any category. I also rarely gave out ones, I believe if someone is performing that far below expectations I should have already addressed it. 

At one company I had an employee who did her job better than the rest of my employees. She was on-time, her work product was perfect, she took responsibility and helped out proactively. She had a shitty attitude about life, and probably with reason, but it didn’t affect her job performance. As far as work, she came close to getting fives. Pat didn’t do small talk, she wasn’t gregarious, she would not go on break with her co-workers,  she just did her job and did it well. She wasn’t someone you would hang out with, but she was very good at her job.

On her “self-assessment” portion. Pat listed she had no goals. She had nothing to improve. Marked everything average. All Pat wanted was to come to work, do her job, and get a paycheck. She made that clear. Her responses enraged the HR manager. When it came to raises, HR wanted to give Pat nothing. I wanted to give her the highest percentage of my budgeted increase in the department. To me, Pat was great at her job. To HR, Pat had a bad attitude. Finally, I reached a compromise with HR. Pat had to redo her self-evaluation and “take it seriously “. 

I wasn’t surprised when Pat told me “fuck it, keep your raise” when I explained the situation. Later that afternoon she brought me a revised evaluation. That experience has colored my attitude of HR mangers since. 

And I still think self evaluations are pointless. I filled mine out last week.