Yeah, Yeah Part Three

 By the end of the American Revolution most of Europe viewed France's King Louis like their idiot cousin at the family reunion; he was going to double dip in the nachos and "forget" to pay his share for the hamburger and hot dogs. 

The fledgling Untied States was broke, the first government they formed under the Articles of Confederation was so weak it could not govern itself, and the new government it formed pretty much told the French "I know I owe you, but, I just don't have any extra cash this month". 

The French King was broke, he raised taxes on everyone and borrowed money from his neighbors to make ends meet. Instead of paying off his debts, King Louis partied. Hard. The French people were taxed out and starving. They looked across the Atlantic at the Americans and said "Hey, we could do that. We don’t need no stinkin’ king.”So the French tossed out the king and instituted some radical, far-left craziness that included chopping off lots of noble heads. 

European royalty looked at these events with alarm.  No one was a fan of crazy Louis, but he was their crazy Louis and if beheading Kings became a thing, well that was unacceptable to the kings of every other European country. That crap needed to end, like yesterday. As other kingdoms started attacking France, a remarkable Corsican rose through the ranks and became large and in charge. This guy was a brilliant strategist and tactician. He whipped the Austrians, then the Italians, then the Austrians again. He defeated the Prussians. Then Napoleon crushed the Prussians, Russians, and Austrians yet again -- and all at once at the Battle of Austerlitz. 

Eventually, after about two decades, the combined European powers defeated Napoleon and restored France back to a Kingdom. For the next fifty or sixty years France flirted with democracy and monarchy, changing governments every decade or two. 

Meanwhile, the Prussians started to consolidate power in northern Germany, ultimately defeating the Austrians in a little war. Alarmed, France told the Germans they better not, and I mean it, try to bring the German-speaking areas of southern Germany into the Prussian alliance.  Otto von Bismarck laughed at the French, stuck a rock on his shoulder and told the Frenchies, "I dare you to knock it off." 

France declared war on Germany. 

Germany defeated France in six months, one week, and two days. Pretty much five months of that war was Germany straddling France, dangling a big hocker over France's face telling France to say "Uncle." Historians call this conflict the Franco-Prussian War. I guess the Six Month One Week and Two Days War was not as catchy as the "Hundred Years War."

Germany forced France to pay an indemnity in exact proportion to the that imposed on Prussian by Napoleon. Those Euros have long memories.