'Cause it is F-ing Awesome

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas

It is currently snowing giant, ground covering flakes. It is a veritable blizzard  -- the first significant snow of the season.

I can live with that.

So long

Barney. The end cannot come soon enough.  Mr. Frank you are a piece o'crap and your actions and votes are as responsible as any single persons for our current economic trouble.

Too bad you are sticking around even one more fucking day.

H20 No!

This is where we are headed. The bureaucrats know everything. The Nanny State will decide, even if it defies common sense. It is people like this who want to control your healthcare. That idea sure makes me sleep better.

EU says drinking water does not prevent dehydration.

Come Sail Away With Me...

(Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)

This could possibly be the bright spot in a dismal Colts season.

Wadda ya want fer nuthin'?

So sue me, I took a day off. The larger issue is did you even notice? Do you even care?

My first thought when I woke this morning was that it is Sunday.  The long Holiday weekend is drawing to a close. I have lots of stuff to do yet before returning to work on the morrow. "On the morrow", have you ever heard a person outside of a costume drama actually use that phrase? I am not even sure why that particular combination of words sprang forth in my brain and through my fingers to the keyboard right out into the interwebz. But there it is clear in black pixels upon my white background.

Sports ain't life, but I watched a game yesterday where a coach sported a pair of balls the size of King Kong. Even through the fuzzy, jerky video on the website I was amazed.  Little Wabash College in Central Indiana was playing the Cardinals of North Central in round 2 of the Division III football playoffs (imagine that a playoff system in college football). Wabash was down 21-0 at the half. The score was 28-7 midway through the third quarter. The season was on the brink. The school motto is 'Wabash always fights" and the team demonstrated it yesterday.

The little Giants (I know dumb nickname) battled back to score a touchdown with just under a minute to go in the game. the score was 28-27. Instead of playing for the tie and overtime, the Wabash coach went for two! Convert and win, fail and the season is over. Wabash went with a hard snap count, the Cardinals of North Central jumped offside.  The ball moved closer to the end zone.

Even over the internet you could almost feel the tension in tiny Hollett Stadium. The ball was snapped, the pass sent to the far side of the end zone.  The Wabash receiver leaped for the high pass, it tipped from his fingers, over the defender into the waiting arms of another Wabash receiver.  He got two feet down and the men of Wabash had staged an unforgettable comeback.

It may be Division III and few of these young men will ever play football in the NFL, but there is still some fine football being played at small colleges and universities across the nation. Read more about the game here.



See it for yourself!

I am a living breathing Alka Seltzer commercial

I had a great Thanksgiving and I am in a miserable happy place  Yesterday I consumed two Thanksgiving dinners; way too much dessert and excessive carbs. Now the kitchen counter is filled with pie and the 'fridge with leftovers.

Wednesday was a long day. I woke early (5:30). I worked most of the day. I did a load of laundry.  I put up the Christmas lights on the house. This involves several ladders and crawling around on the roof for a spell. The wife and I went out for a quick bite to eat. I came home and made Overnight Salad (some call it seven layer salad). I then made a pumpkin torte. While this is not hard, it requires several steps.  I forgot the ingredients have to cool in between steps, so I did not finish until about 2:30 in the ay em. Part of the delay is my own fault.  I forgot to get milk when I bought all of my ingredients.  Lucky for me I had just enough left in the jug for my recipe. Until a little after midnight when the boy came out to the kitchen for a snack of cookies and milk. He finished what I had reserved for my torte! So off to the store I went to get a gallon of milk.I was not the only shopper grabbing Thanksgiving meal ingredients at 1:00 am.

Thursday morning I finished off the cooking by preparing Oreo Delight.  Then we packed the car and headed off to the north central part of the Hoosier State to spend Thanksgiving with my family and later in the evening the Wife's family. We returned home just before midnight.

Today I have to finish the outside decorating -- put up the wreaths and string some lights in the cherry tree. Then I can begin to put up the trees in the house.  Yes, I said trees.  The wife loves her Christmas decorating.

On the bright side, I won't be anywhere near the shopping malls!

Have a great Friday.

Happy Thanksgiving

One of my favorite songs from one of my favorite movies.

Here is the scene from the movie. Embedding was disabled.

Best wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving to you and your families.

Here we are

Career politicians from both parties are more interested in winning the next election, or positioning their party to win the next election, than in really trying to solve our Nation's financial issues. The Debt Commission was the joke we all feared it would be.

Fuck the Democrats.  Fuck the Republicans.

The truck is screaming down the mountain, the brakes are out, the tires are smoking.  Our politicians are bitching the cigarette lighter won't work.

Right to Work

Read This.

As Indiana again considers the "right to Work" issue, I think this article says all that is necessary.

Right versus Left

There you have it.  The entire political debate of our nation summed in one clip.

I have avoided politics for the past few weeks, much to either your delight, chagrin or indifference. But this clip demonstrates the divide between the Democrats and Republicans, Liberal and Conservative, whatever label you like, better than any I have seen in a while. Either you hear Newt and say "hell, yeah", or you listen to the blond and applaud. There is no way you can find a middle ground.

Me, there is no doubt where I stand. I am not much of a protester. I have said it before, assembling to complain and bitch without a solution is a waste of time. You can't get a job camping in a park. If you cannot find work, then volunteer. That experience will lead you to work. That one year gap on your resume where you list as experience "Occupying Wall Street" will not enhance your job prospects. Time spent working at the local soup kitchen or Habitat for Humanity will.

Look, the economy and job situation was not a lot better in the early 1980's when I graduated college. I spent a ton of money, had a mountain of student loans and a worthless Liberal Arts degree. Those were choices I made. My job prospects were few.

I took two part time jobs making $12,000 year -- combined.. I put in my time until I found a better job. That job required me to work 70-80 hours a week. I made about $20,000 per year for all of those hours. That was not much money even in 1988. I worked my ass off and learned valuable skills that have served me today. I parlayed that experience into a management position. I learned, adapted and took that experience into a better paying job.

Life is not fair. We all make bad decisions.  I have made more than you cam imagine.  You can whine and complain about the bad cards life has dealt you.  That works for about a month.  Then you suck it up and make the best of it. Camping out and bitching because the producers are not giving you the fruits of their work is not the answer.

Is there corruption in business, in Wall Street, in politics?  Yes. Defecating in the streets, destroying public property, carrying signs, demanding free stuff does not bring about change.

Meditating could not raise the Pentagon during the Vietnam War and chanting won't pay off your student loans. 

Take a walk on the mild side

Monday

I did not get my Christmas decorating done Saturday. All I planned on doing was the lights and when I pulled them out it was the usual tale. I need seven strings of 300 lights to do the house and an additional two strings for the cherry tree. Of the nine strings, only TWO worked. Some had just a few feet unlit, other more. Experience has taught me that even if I can get the shorted-out strings working, they will not last the season. I do not want to find myself on the roof in mid-December replacing a sting of lights here and there. The cheap Chinese electronics have become almost disposable after one season.

Since the Wife only likes the icicle lights from Target -- they are "shorter" than the ones from WalMart, we had to make a trip to the big city to get lights. That meant additional Christmas shopping as well. So Saturday was shot for decorating. It rained all day yesterday. According to the weather guy, Wednesday looks alright and Friday as well to do the decorating.

Since I refuse to go anywhere near the mall on Black Friday, it looks like I will be doing the decorating on Friday.

I find myself remarkably energetic and enthused about work today. Unfortunately the spirit is wasted.  Thanksgiving week is the deadest of dead weeks, except maybe the week after Christmas, for those of us who toil in industrial sales. Customers are either on vacation or coasting through the week. I do have a conference call this afternoon, and I have some filing to do. I could always do my expenses.  I think October is still unfinished...

Sinday

Cool Stuff to peruse on a Sunday morning.

Here is an example:

U.S. General George S. Patton acknowledges the cheers of thousands during a parade through downtown Los Angeles, California, on June 9, 1945. Shortly thereafter, Patton returned to Germany and controversy, as he advocated the employment of ex-Nazis in administrative positions in Bavaria; he was relieved of command of the 3rd Army and died of injuries from a traffic accident in December, after his return home. Joe Rosenthal's famous Iwo Jima flag-raising photograph is visible on the war bonds billboard. (AP Photo)

3341

The coffee is warm, not hot in my Superbowl XLIV mug. Bob Marley is crooning softly in the background as my iPod plays on the portable speakers. I just skimmed the paper this morning, and I have not spent a lot of time perusing your blogs.

It is supposed to be a tad warmer this afternoon, albeit windy.  I think I will try to get the Christmas lights up on the house today.  They will not be turned on until Friday, though. I could wait until next weekend, but who knows what Mother Nature has in store.  It could be freezing cold or raining.  I would rather work in fifty degree temps and a little wind than hope for the best next Friday.

Monte Hall would hate me as a contestant on Let's Make a Deal.

Friday Five

I love movies. New movies, old movies, I don't care. I love to get lost for an hour or two in a fantasy world of celluloid. I love Technicolor or black and white films. I spend most of my TV time watching movies. The wife and I have really one one thing in common -- we both like going to the movies.

As such, I am pretty sure I can identify five elements that make a good and enjoyable movie.  I am not talking about the stuff the critics like, but rather the elements that make you want to watch and enjoy a film. Inclusion of one or more of these elements does not necessarily make the movie good, but the absence of these elements virtually guarantees the movie will suck. In no particular order:

1.  Cars.  A film needs cars -- fast cars or car crashes, or  car chases. The Blues Brothers mall scene is worth the price of admission (or to buy the DVD). Bullitt was a so-so movie except for the car chase. Hell, Rat Patrol is a TV show that was worth viewing just for the Jeeps in the opening credits.

2. Horses Horses make for good movies.  Seabiscuit and Secretariat had horses.  So do most John Wayne and Clint Eastwood westerns.. Red Dawn had horses for a couple of scenes. Just because a horse is present does not mean the movie is good -- see National Velvet (no, don't and take my word for it).

3. Guns Sergent York, Dirty Harry, Outlaw Josey Wales, True Grit, High Noon, Full Metal Jacket, Big Jake, any gangster movie, Bonnie and Clyde, The Godfather, Master and Commander, Zulu Dawn, James Bond...'nuf said.

4. Karate/fights/chicks in swimsuits/sports. Bruce Lee, Esther Williams, Frankie and Annette films, James Bond, Blood Sport, Hoosiers, Rudy, Field of Dreams, Billy Jack are all examples.

5. Starring Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Fred Astaire, Steve McQueen, Frank Sinatra, Esther Williams, Audry Hepburn, Sean Connery, John Belushi, Paul Newman, Jimmy Stewart,  or Kevin Costner (but only if it is a sports movie).

Your opinion may vary, but is likely wrong if you disagree.

Yes, it is

A little bit of nothing

I went for a walk at lunch time. The north wind was blowing a cold breeze. One could almost feel the temperature drop while treading the sidewalkless streets of my neighborhood. I click my iPhone over to the Pandora app and listened to some Christmas music to get me into the mood.

It looks like we may have an OK weekend, weather-wise. If so, I will endeavor to get the Christmas decorations and lights up.  They will not be turned on until after Thanksgiving. Some rules are inviolate.

I cooked a turkey and dressing TV Dinner in the microwave upon my return.

We are getting to the slow time of the year.  Orders are steady, but the purchasing and engineering contacts I call upon are busy winding down for the holidays.  I have a hard time making appointments between Thanksgiving and the early part of January. That means more office time and less windshield and hotel time.

It is hump day, I hope your day is going well.

Friday Covers -- Wednesday edition

Here is a song you probably do not know:



That cover is by Yes from their Time and a Word LP.

Here is te original penned by Stephen Stills as performed by Buffalo Springfield

The Douchebag in the Dairy Aisle

A few weeks ago I changed the alert sound my phone makes when I receive a text message. The previous tone was the same as my wife and ten million other people, so I was often confused. The wife would get a text and I would get up from my recliner and look at my phone.  I changed the sound to a little whistle. Not a wolf whistle, but a "hey" kind of  whistle.

I don't know why. The "why". is not important to this story.  It just is the tone I am using. Pay attention.

So, I am at my friendly Kroger Sunday afternoon buying groceries (what a concept). I stood behind a woman at the dairy section blocking up the cheese selection. I waited politely and even sighed to let her know she could move her fat ass and cart -- to no avail. It was about then my daughter sent me a text: whooo-weet. That little whistle got me a dirty look. Offended, she made her selection and moved out of my way.

I got her attention, even if it was unintentional.

Living below average

Last week at our annual sales meeting we went bowling.  It was a "team building" exercise. There was food and beer and bowling. I have always sucked at bowling. I realized by the fifth frame of the first game I still suck at it.

I bet it has been at least five years since I was last in a bowling alley. I am reasonably sure I have not bowled without "bumpers" for at least 20 years. The final score -- 106/109/91. I was not the worst player at the alley that night, but I was no way shape or form one of the better bowlers.

I guess it is my lot in life the round out the bottom half of any statistic.

On the road to self-improvement

I have developed a bad attitude recently. Too much negativity is squashing my natural sense of humor and moral superiority.

I am pretty sure I just need to find an abandoned warehouse and dance out my anger and frustration.

Little Giants win -- Dannies swallow

I had another post written for this morning.  After reading it again, I realized it was not as funny as I thought it was yesterday morning. I will let it stew over in the draft category a few days and see if the post is like wine -- it get better with time. I do not have high hopes.

We went to see the oldest boy and his band play Friday night. The show was pretty good.  If I can determine how to move video from my iPhone to the 'puter, I will post some examples.

Yesterday after walking the neighborhood I raked the leaves in the front yard. I need a new rake.  The one we have is more than 25 years old.  I think I paid a few bucks for it from Big Lots. The head is held on by a finishing nail. It is missing more than one tine. On the plus side, if I was to purchase another rake -- we would have two and certain people could help rake the damn leaves.

Livin' Large

I was on the 10:15 out of White Plains (Westchestah County) with a 1:55 connection home from Philly. I got to the airport about 6:45 in the ay em, 'cause that is when my ride had to be there. The bank of fog obscuring the runway was a bad omen.

Shortly after 7:00 the airline called and told me my flight was cancelled. Not delayed.  It just was not going to happen at all. I went to the counter for new flights. The nice lady rebooked me on an earlier flight for Philly slated to leave at 8:00. These new arrangements would help me make an earlier connection home. I would be back to God's country by mid afternoon instead of supper time. The whole situation was a good deal for this frequent traveller.

The flight was delayed until 8:30. then 9:00. I had missed my connection. The line at the counter stretched about 20 people deep now. It was not moving. I had my travel agent rebook me back on the 1:55 from Philly to Indy. A new departure was announced for  10:15. They hoped to have an update by 10:30. They finally boarded us at 11:10..

We pulled from the gate. There was a ground hold in Philly. We sat on our little Dash-8 waiting for the clearance that came around noon. My 1:55 connection was going to be tight. Except I knew that if the flights into Philly were running that late, the odds were good those flights leaving the City of Brotherly Love were off schedule too.

I love being right except when being right causes me to spend even more time in an airport. My 1:55 was delayed to 3:41. Then the 3:41 was moved to 4:41. This was followed by additional delays to 5:39. We finally boarded about ten minutes late to the revised schedule.

We then sat in the plane waiting on a crew that needed to deadhead to Indy. This means they were not working the flight, the crew just needed a ride. The Pilot said this errant crew was scheduled to LAND in a few minutes.  An hour later we finally pushed back from the gate.

When I turned my phone on after landing in Indy I had a message from the airline.  It informed me my 1:55 flight was delayed.

I got home around 10:00 in the pee em.

People are always telling me they think I have a great job.  They tell me it must be fun to travel all over, staying in hotels, flying the friendly skies.

Veteran's Day

It was at the eleventh hour on the eleventh day of the eleventh month of 1918 that the most horrific war in history to that point came to a halt. It was but a precursor to the horrors that would follow.

Thank you to all of you who have served our country. It is your efforts that guarantee my freedoms.

I think I will see if I can find the Fighting 69th and The Paths of Glory for some movie viewing this weekend.

I am...

Not here.
Not where I want to be.
At a sales meeting.
Not in an exotic locale.
In need short declarative sentences to keep my sanity. 
Sick of too many words spoken at me for too many days.
Not homesick. 
Just bored.

Pimpin'

One of the blogs I read is the Erin O'Brien Owner's Manual for Human Beings. I may not agree with Erin's politics, but her other stuff is often quirky, fun, and entertaining.

But her politics, oy.

Anyway, I was surfing around on Amazon looking for stuff to read on my Kindle and I found this short story by the loverly MS O'Brien. The wife keeps a tight control on my book money, but I promised to do extra chores for the $0.99 it took to move this book wirelessly to my electronic reading device.

I am not going to spoil the plot, but what book can be bad that has major elements of guns and money and hunting? The whole thing is a bitter clinger's wet dream.

Buy the book.  Read the book.  It will only take an hour or two, and the price is far cheaper than going to or renting a movie.  Plus-- you own it.

Consider it your own personal crusade to share the benefits of capitalism with Erin.  When she gets that big royalty check from Amazon she might become one of the rich Republicans she denigrates! That prospect is worth a buck in my world.

Besides, People Who Need People is a good read.

If you do not have a Kindle, you can get a free Kindle app for your computer.

I woke an hour earlier than usual -- or did I?

I am not going to offer my semi-annual bitch about the time change. It is what it is.

The wife has decreed we are going to have a family portrait taken today. She has made the arrangements. All three kids and my son-in-all are going to participate too. We are all going to smile and like it.

I was told I need a new shirt for this occasion. The boy needed something new to wear too. As such, we found ourselves at the Mall yesterday. Santa Clause was there. WTH? It is just the first week of November. The trees still have leaves.  Some of the trees in my neighborhood have barely changed color to a sickly green-yellow.

I love Christmas.  I listen to Christmas songs with gusto. I decorate the house at great risk to life and limb. We have three Christmas trees. But it is way, way too early to start in with the Christmas and the Santa. This whole situation is a perfect example of why the various peoples of the Earth need someone with my superior outlook and world view to be Supreme Arbiter of Taste and Ruler Plenipotentiary. And not just someone -- the people of the world need ME in charge. I think we can all agree on that point.

When I am King of the World, on day one, late in the afternoon just before beer and cigar time, we will be done dispensing justice, and taking decisions on when we can start decorating the mall for Christmas. At that time I will issue an important decree that will demonstrate to all mortals walking terra firma my fairness and wisdom.I am talking about dispensing the kind of superior judgement that puts me right on par with Solomon..To whit; effective immediately, all young men shall pull up their fucking pants above their ass.

That fixed, we will deal with this change-the-clocks-twice-a-year nonsense.

My life is a giant non sequitur

I was out traveling in the rain yesterday. That sentence sounds like the opening line of a Country song. I was in meetings all day.  I finally got home around 9:30 o'dark.

I noticed when I ran the dishwasher this morning we are out of those little dishwasher detergent things that look like they could double as poisonous Barbie pillows.

Either I am getting an ear infection, or there are tiny insects flapping their wings in my left ear. I hope it is inner ear problems: that will make flying next week a very special treat.

I "washed" dishes after breakfast. I am on my second load of laundry this morning.  Are you hot and moist now ladies? What if I told you I could touch my nose with my tongue?

Damn. Spit fire and save the matches, as my MIL used to say.  Now I can never run for President. Some reporter will trot this post out as an example of sexual harassment and claim anonymous sources were offended.

It is a Friday morning. I am screwing around on the interwebz.  i really do have better things to do.  It is just that I don't wanna.

Did you know you cannot trust everything you read or see on the Internets?  Except for here.  You can rely on me.

Today's earworm

I venture this is one of those songs that you either really like or really, really hate. I do not think anyone can be indifferent.

Done With Jury Dooty

I finally completed jury duty last night. At $40 per day, I cleared a nice $3.37 per hour.  We had two long days of court stuff.  Deliberations took longer than they should have, but such is life. Sometimes there are people in life who choose not to listen to absolute truth and wisdom as espoused by your humble author. Some people over-think stuff. Some people lack the brain power to do deep thought and are unaware of their inadequacies. Some people are just stupid fucks. I will leave it at that.

I have a major presentation due next week, so my next few days will be spent graphing and Power Pointing. There is nothing that makes one feel so productive as spending hours preparing graphs and charts and slides full of information the audience already knows. That, my friends, is what it is like to attend a sales meeting: a waste of time and effort. On the bright side, my presentation will be as slick as snot on a brass doorknob. My slides are just like this blog -- a case of quantity over quality.

Dear OWS and anti-capitalists the world over

Let me see if I have this right.  Capitalism = bad. We need to go to a pure form of socialism, or something that is not capitalist in nature.  Perhaps collectivism, communism, or some other -ism.

Behold! That place exists.  I invite you to compare and contrast. Where would you really rather live:

This is the Koreas, in case you failed Geography

'Nuff said. Now clean up your mess. Go home. Find something productive to do.  If you cannot find work then volunteer somewhere. E-mail me if you need a list of organizations that need help.