Apologies to the Who. Sometimes I amuse myself to no end on other people's blogs. Apologies to you too. I wrote some of these thoughts at Rita's blog on a post lamenting faux web personalities. I hate to break it to you, but the personality on display around here is a caricature of the real me. In the non-cyber world I am much better looking, brighter and far, far more articulate. In real life I am a bit less tenacious, pugnacious and sarcastically combative. OK, that last sentence is a lie. I am every bit of those things, I am just a bit more judicious in their employ around the genpop. My sense of humor isn't for everyone. Although it should be. But none of this answers the true riddle of the average Joe that strives to entertain you on a near-daily basis around these parts. Since no one who actually knows me (except occasional visits from my dear brother) reads this bit o'crap, you have to take my word for it --.I am the ultimate WYSIWYG.
I am not real. I am the dreams, nightmares, and fantasies that swirl in your brain late at night. I am the right wing whiteboard that helps you organize your thoughts. I am the thunder in the distance, the flash of a summer lightening bug. I am the warm blanket you pull up to your chin, the rich velvety hot fudge on your ice cream. I am the spark shooting into the summer sky from a pine log fire, the soft snowflake melting on your eyelash. I stretch like taffy, compress like rubber and am strong as tempered steel. I am an exceptional man, an average Joe. I make up the top ten percent of the median. I am an enigma, a question mark, the guy next door. I am a Boy Scout, a reprobate, the penultimate environmentalist litterbug. I am a staunch meat eating vegan. Women want me, men want to be me. I am the shyest exhibitionist you have never seen. I am legend in my mind, yet when you see me on the street you exclaim "I know that guy!". I coached your kids, mentored your kid brother and fed your Mom false information. I have been described as the north end of bi-polar disorder. I troll the interwebz from the non-existent basement of my two story ranch located deep in the heart of the inner-city suburbs.I am a progressive right-winger, dispensing political truth in measured doses. Your only required prescription is an open mind. Indeed, despite older claims to the contrary, I am the walrus. I am a blogger, make of me what you will.
Who are you?
9 comments:
I am - simply, Otter....
"I'll be all around in the dark. I'll be ever'-where - wherever you can look. Wherever there's a fight so hungry people can eat, I'll be there. Wherever there's a cop beatin' up a guy, I'll be there. I'll be in the way guys yell when they're mad - I'll be in the way kids laugh when they're hungry an' they know supper's ready. An' when the people are eatin' the stuff they raise, and livin' in the houses they build - I'll be there, too."
No. Not really.
A bit of a skeptic, now even more so.
What you are nott, is a techical guy who can hide your IP address.
Never tried to hide it
I wouldn't actually describe it as lamenting. I've come across sick puppets before but most don't continued the charade for years. What point is that? I know blogging is just a waste of time, but to invent lie after lie seems to me to be really stupid and sick.
I am an American.
James Old Evil
When one walks in the north Florida pinewoods, and comes across a nest of rattlers; I'm there.When one is at the minor league baseball park, and Elvis Himselvis parachutes down from a Piper Cub to sing the National Anthem,I am there. When one jogs in a weekend 5K race and comes in 2nd to last, and a beverage company puts out free wine coolers, I really am there.
I lost myself a while back.
goo goo g'joob.
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