Episode seven; wherein the days fly by...

Here is a picture of my boys taken four or five years ago at the massive Louisville Skatepark. I present this image as today is the youngest one's birthday. He is 14.

We are taking the whole family out for dinner this evening. We will let the oldest boy choose the restaurant, since he is home from college for the weekend. Oh, and it is his birthday tomorrow. We will let the youngest choose on Monday. It is quite a hit to eat out two nights in a row, but it is a tradition we started many years ago. It was not too bad when they chose Chuck E Cheese or McDonald's. Now they want steak or the Cheesecake Factory. The oldest boy will be 19.

The little one had a few of his friends spend the night after the football game on Friday. Typical teenagers. When trying to determine how much pizza to order one claimed repeatedly he could eat a whole pizza himself. The others affirmed he could. The pizza arrives, he did not eat any. When pressed he finally ate two pieces. We ended up with a whole pizza in the fridge, that I will probably throw out on trash day.

I went to get some donuts for them on Saturday morning. I drove uptown to the bakery. On the way home I turned on the defrost, ran the wipers and finally pulled over to wipe of the inside of the windows since everything was blurry. It was at that point I realized I forgot to put on my glasses. Jeepers, who is really getting older in this house...

Bosses

I have had some really bad bosses. There are few tales in the archives, you can look them up.

Today was my current boss's last day. He was offered an opportunity in a different field he could not turn down. Is this good or bad, you might ask? I will put it this way, I am 100% positive my next boss will not be as good. I liked and respected this man. In the category of good bosses, this guy ranks as Very good. I will miss him.

Old Number 1392

Four men went golfing together one day; three headed to the first tee and one went into the club house to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder and he''s so successful that he gave a friend a new home - for free."

The second man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He''s so successful that he gave a friend two Cadillacs."

The third man, not wanting to be outdone bragged, "My son is a stock broker and he''s doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio."

The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?" The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay. I''m not totally thrilled about it, but he must be good. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, two cars, and a stock portfolio."

Live Blogging a tired mind

I just set up an appointment for lunch with a customer for next week. That fills the whole week with travel. Good for work, bad for the old blog. One is for paying the bills and the other for getting my thrills. Guess which one gets precedence?

I had a late breakfast/early lunch just now. Is 10:30 am too early for a Salisbury Steak TV Dinner? I have eaten one of those Banquet Brand delicacies nearly every week for the last three or four years. Today it tasted a little flat, I think I am getting burned out.

When my oldest son was born we bought a couple of matching unfinished dressers for about $25 each for the two kids to use. The Daughter got a matching dresser/bedroom set shortly after the youngest was born. These two dressers have been repaired/painted/repaired/rebuilt/repainted countless times in the last 19 years. When we moved, one of the dressers just split apart at the back. It was as if the two end panels were doing the splits. The dresser is now on its back in the garage ready for a sad death at the county landfill, too ruptured for further repairs. The wife found a replacement last night at WalMart for $59. I bet we do not get nearly twenty years of life from this China-made piece of furniture (that I have to assemble).

Pink Floyd's Saucerful of Secrets just played on my iTunes. That is a freaky composition.

The sun is trying peek through the clouds, we had rain all through the night courtesy of tropical storm whatever that hit Texas/Louisiana last weekend.

You get more posts this week than usual. I was supposed to spend the first three days viewing a production startup. That was pushed out for various reasons. I cannot get a firm date on the reschedule, and the engineer is going to be pissed my dance card is filling quickly for the next several weeks. I cannot just sit in the office waiting on this one customer to move forward.

The boy thinks he might get the start at safety this week. He will find out tonight.

I have had nothing new to read for about a week. I am going crazy. I spend nearly all of my free time reading. To make matters worse, TV is a more vast (vaster?) wasteland than ever this season.

JamesOldGuy wrote a cool post (the link for old and evil is over on the sidebar) comparing Indiana and South Carolina. SC wins hands down in my book too. We do have breaded tenderloin, though.

Purdue is getting more than 20 points against the Golden Domers. Who would have thunk...Notre Dame is worse than bad this year. I bet the Holy Father regrets that 10 year extension they gave Fat Charlie. I am sure I am not the only only one to recognize former Belichek ass't coaches have less than stellar records as head coaches. Maybe they are not studying the right kind of tape...

The UAW settled with GM. I am not sure who got the better part of the deal. I think the Union was surprised by the lack of public support for their cause.

I have started the dishwasher and a load of towels is next. I am only allowed to do towels since I tend to mix dark and light clothing together and dry it all to the point of shrinkage. Attention men -- do this a few times and you will never be asked to do real laundry again. It is well worth the price of a few new shirts.

*&%#@$%*&^ Cubs

ch ch ch changes

I am thinking about changing the name of this bit of shit and wit to the Race Bannon Chronicles.

What do you think?

Orange you glad I did not say banana?

It is interesting how certain smells and tastes resonate with us. Some people love cinnamon, while others are attracted to peppermint or vanilla. For me there is no better smell or taste than orange. I like everything orange from the fruit itself, orange juice, even the orange rolls from the Doughboy. I am not sure what it is, but the taste of oranges makes me just feel good. I have a glass of OJ almost every morning and it starts the day off right. I like the smell of oranges and that smell only gives me happy thoughts. What flavor/taste/smell appeals to you?

More idiots in the news

GM has been taking it in the shorts for years. The Japanese have gobbled up market share. GM Management mortgaged the future of the company with outrageous pensions and benefits for the workers. That bill is now due. The future of the former big three is not a rosy picture. How does the UAW and GM solve the problems facing the company? A strike! That is right workers walked off the job last night. I can tell you there is no better way for workers and companies to succeed than by just producing nothing, earning nothing. That lost pay will never be made up. The calender will never give back those lost production days. What kind of people would rather lose everything, including the long-term prospect of employment?

Ahrens has seven years at the plant, where she works nights installing speakers in sport utility vehicles. She waited outside the building Monday for her husband, Ron Ahrens, who has worked there for 21 years.

The couple has three children, including a college freshman, and Ahrens worried about how they would pay their bills.

"This is horrible, but we're die-hard union, so we have to," Ahrens said. "We got a mortgage, two car payments and tons of freaking bills."

(emphasis mine)

The Union promises Ford and Chrysler are next. Honda is building new plants in the US, so is Toyota. The UAW is doing its best to live in the seventies. Good luck with that.

Race Bannon -- Man among Men

Jonny Quest was the greatest action cartoon ever made. Why they do not make that series into a feature film is beyond me. I wanted to be Race Bannon, the coolest guy ever -- body guard, pilot, fighter, tutor -- a real manly man.

Idiots

If there was ever a set of parents that need to be smacked with a stout two x four, it is this pair. If they really wanted the kid to be tormented throughout grammar school they should have made his middle name Charles. W.C. Fields has a certain ring...

This is funny

No one else spins a tale like the great and powerful Bane

Mattress Football

A man and his wife hit the sack and just as she turned out the lights he cut a massive fart. She told him that was sick, and he replied "7-0", my lead.

Tired of him stinking up the bedroom every night the wife decided to give him a dose of his own medicine, and let lose a smelly wet explosion of anal mustard gas that would choke a skunk. "7-7" tie she said. That fart felt so good she turned on her side and let another one in his direction. "14-7" she laughed triumphantly. Finally he was getting paid back.

The husband fumed. His little joke was being turned on him! He strained and pushed in a vain effort to get a little gas of any kind. He swallowed air, he pushed until he was sure to get swollen hemorrhoids. Suddenly he farted the fart of all farts and actually shit in the bed.

"What the hell?" screamed his wife, "I cannot believe you just crapped in the bed."

He just grinned. "Halftime, switch sides."

Company Picnic Day

It is Friday.

If you had just a minute to breathe
And they granted you one final wish
Would you ask for something like another chance
Or something similar as this
Don't worry too much, it'll happen to you
As sure as your sorrows or joys

And the thing that disturbs you is only the sound
Of the low spark of high-heeled boys

Yeah, it is that kind of day. I am sitting in the middle of Traffic. Not a car in sight.

How is your day going?

What do I want today?

If you are not working to make me happy, you should be assisting someone who is. You do not have to like this reality of life, but facts are facts. As Gradgrind said "In this life, we want nothing but Facts, sir; nothing but Facts!" (there is an obscure literary reference for you). And it is a fact you should all be thinking about the old Hoosierboy and his needs on a regular basis. You can prove your faithfulness by clicking here several times a day. You could also toss me a link or two for good measure. What do I need today?

Bacon, I could really, really go for some bacon right now.

I would not mind winning the lottery.

I really want some bacon.

That will get me through the next few minutes. Like a two year old I will have some more immediate needs soon. Stay tuned.

What are YOU doing for Hoosierboy today?

The Golf Match

Shortly after the Pope had apologized to the Jewish people for their treatment at the hands of non-Jews over the years, Ariel Sharon, then Prime
Minister of Israel, sent a proposal to the College of Cardinals for a friendly game of golf to be played between the two leaders, or their
representatives, to demonstrate the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Catholics and the Jews.

The Pope met with his College of Cardinals to discuss the proposal.

"Your Holiness" said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Sharon wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show that you are old and unable to compete. I am afraid that this would tarnish our image in the world."

The Pope thought about this and, since he had never held a golf club in his hands in his life, asked, "Don't we have a Cardinal to represent me?"

"None who plays golf very well," a Cardinal replied. "But there is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer, who is a devout Catholic. We
could offer to make him a Cardinal, and then ask him to play Mr Sharon as your personal representative. In addition to showing our spirit of co-operation, we would also win the match."

Everyone agreed that this was a great idea. The call was made. Of course, Nicklaus was honored and he agreed to play as a representative of the
Pope.

The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of the result. "This is Cardinal Nicklaus. I have some good news and some
bad news, your Holiness," said the golfer.

"Tell me the good news, Cardinal Nicklaus", said the Pope.

"Well, Your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but even though I have played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I have ever played, by far. I must have been inspired from above. My drives were long and true, my irons were accurate and purposeful, and my putting was
perfect. With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous."

"How can there be bad news?" the Pope asked.

Nicklaus sighed, "I lost by three strokes to Rabbi Tiger Woods

Ask Hoosierboy Volume XVII

I have revealed a few tidbits in recent days that you did not know about me, now it is your chance to learn more as I open the comments for you questions. What do you want to know about me, current events, history, sports or politics? As a true Renaissance man, I pride myself on the ability to carry on a conversation about nearly any topic. Ask away, faithful readers.

Mittwoch

As per usual I woke up at 6:00am this morning. Since this is the week for ISTEP (State standardized testing)I put in a pan of the Doughboy's cinnamon rolls. I woke the boy at 6:20. I sat in the chair watching the news and Sports Center alternately until he left for school at 7:00. As I sat there I had a great idea for a blog post. At 7:00 I got up the wife and went back to bed. This hour of sleep is the best I get. This morning I fell into a deep sleep and even had a wacky dream that I can only remember in snatches (hee hee he said 'snatch'). No it was not that kind of dream. I get up around 8:00 to begin my day as the wife leaves for work.

The coffee pot kicked on automatically and I checked work email, and took a quick look at the old blog. Unfortunately I cannot remember a single detail of my brilliant post to be.

The upshot of this story is you get more meaningless crap from me. I am becoming a master at spinning post after post that say nothing. It is a wwonder any of you continue to visit this poor excuse for a blog.

A sad state of affairs indeed.

Cooking with Hoosierboy

I just finished lunch, a reheated ribeye sandwich and a baked potato smothered in butter and cheese.

The ribeye sandwiches are a thing of beauty. I buy the thin sliced ribeyes, and marinate them for 15-30 minutes in dale's seasoning. This is powerful stuff and it will overpower the meat if you leave it too long. It is great for sandwich steaks and adds a terrific flavor. I am not a huge fan of marinades or steak sauces, but I can only give dale's the highest marks.

I would give you a picture, but it would be from a scope down the old gullet and that would be just gross.

Judy, Judy, Judy

Little Judy came home from school with a smile on her face and told her Mother. "Tommy showed me his willy today!"

Before the mother could raise a concern, Judy went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut".

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Judy's Mom asked, "Really small was it?"

Judy replied, "No...salty!"



stole it from Otter


edit. Do not tease me Dick...

Tuesday Grab Bag

If you think HillaryCare version 2.0 is a good idea, please let me know in the comments. I will then proceed to make fun of you, demonstrate your moonbattery, call you names, and prove you wrong. I miss my trolls. Common, argue your case!

Has American Industry forgotten the concept of speed? Our ability to react, solve problems and make changes on the fly are the foundation of business practices that allowed us lead the world in productivity. Maybe it is me. I have always had a low level of patience. I have never accepted excuses. We should ask "why not", instead of answering "that is not how we do it." About two lifetimes ago (bore alert)I was put in charge of changing the production control system in the plant I worked from and MRP II system to a JIT system. When we started the leadtimes were in excess of 60 weeks, with on-time delivery hovering around a less-than-impressive 10%. For those non-manufacturing types that meant if you ordered one of our widgets today, we would promise to ship it to you about a year from now. There was a 90% chance we would not deliver the parts after that year. In less than 6 months we reduced the leadtime to 6 weeks and on-time delivery to 95%. This is very good. I was able to make this happen because I refused to accept excuses. I was not even thirty years old when given this assignment. I am older and wiser now and I know I was given the task because I was expected to fail. I was to be the fall guy when the wish-management commands came from Corporate to make this change ("wish-management" = the boss wishes it to happen, therefore it will). Man, I bet people were shocked. At least the management at the plant had the skills to make sure they got the credit. I eliminated my job and was offered a position in sales. Here I am today.

The Colts did not look great, but a win is a win.

I watched the Cubs off/on last night. Every time I tuned in the Reds took the lead. If I channel-surfed the Cubs would rally. I turned the game off to watch the news in a fit of disgust over base-running errors and fly balls falling untouched in the outfield only to flip back later to see the Cubs win! I guess I should quit watching all together.

I have been posting light in order to help my favorite Brooklynite catch up on her blog reading. The sacrifices I make for my Blogroll Buddies...

1373

I should post summthin', but I just have a big old bag of empty.

The toe, I have no nail on my right big toe.