And another thing...

It looks like McCain just might get the nod for the Repubs. I do not possess the vocabulary to express my disappointment with that choice. I keep waiting for that phantom Conservative candidate to show up in time to win the Superdooper Tuesday Primaries. Can we vote for the ghost of the gipper? I know this if my choices are McCain and the Hildebeast, I might just stay home. How do you choose between bad and worse? Do you want your eyes poked or your balls kicked?

A vote against Hillary equals a vote FOR McCain. He of the Keating Five, He who is against reducing taxes but amnesty for criminals. He is who is for limiting my Constitutional Rights, but in favor of granting them to Islamofascists and terrorists. He who claims to be a 'maverick' but is really just a RINO at best. How ironic that the two candidates that have been at the edge of dubious fundraising in their careers might be going head to head. McCain only became for campaign finance reform after he was caught.

As I have stated before, is this really the best we can came up with for candidate of the most powerful office in the world?

Update

Posting will be light the next few days as I head to the city with big shoulders to do my work thing.

A wicked front moved through last night. Yesterday morning it was 49. Today it is 7with a windchill of minus 11. Most of the temperature change was ushered in in about an hour as heavy rains blew in on the back of 60 and 70 mph winds. Those in the south would call that a hurricane. In the Midwest that is tornado weather and it looks like a few slammed into area. Here at the homestead we had lots of rain that turned to snow and lightning. No apparent damage.


Have I mentioned I hate the Patriots?

Politics

I was going to spout a political rant. I was flipping through my regular blog reads while the phrases and verbiage turned in my mind. Then I read this CLICK HERE and my work was done for me. This is a political platform I could get behind. I know I am not alone, a politico who took each of these stances would get elected. He would be murdered by the yellow journalists that make up the press, drug behind a car in a cactus patch, his mail, laundry and every rock of his path of life examined and turned over. If he survived that, the majority of working Americvans would vote for him. The rest of Americans, the welfare state would not. That is where we are. Those who want the Government to provide are beginning to outnumber those who want to just be left the fuck alone. Guess who will win the future elections as the nanny state grows?

A Challenge

Tuna salad on white bread
Cheetos
Dr Pepper
All chased by a Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pie


How about you?

Sunday Review

Last night I fried up some breaded tenderloins and baked some mac and cheese. Add some biscuits and frozen corn and we had a fine Sunday meal.

I took the little one to do some hitting at an inside cage yesterday afternoon. He is getting in the mood for some baseball. The season ended on such a down note last year, I was concerned about his attitude. He will be fine. I guess it is time to quit calling him little one, he will be driving (with a learner's permit) this time next year. In my mind he is still my little guy. He is taller than my wife and will likely catch me in his next growth spurt. The oldest is already taller.

My wife, daughter and eldest son are all fighting the cold/flu. I hope it stays away from me, but I feel that pressure in my sinuses and the nose is starting to drip a little. I am getting that achy feeling in my bones, so I am afraid I am about to get hit. I hope if it going to get me , it comes soon. I am off to warm climes next week for work and I want to be feeling good while enjoying the sun, er work.

My oldest boy has been offered a potential recording contract. He has been asked to record a single, in any case. The company is picking up the recording tab. We keep trying to offer encouragement without getting his hopes too high. He said he would quit college if it happened. We had to have a long talk about that. Any possible recording deal would have to pay enough for him to live on. We explained that if he quits college not only would he no longer have health or dental insurance, but he will immediately have to start paying on his student loans. Welcome to reality, son.

Here is his music page [edit. removed, if you want to check it out send me an email and I will provide the link.] It is not necessarily my taste in music, but I do like the song "Ricochet". He plays all of the instruments and sings. He taught himself to play the bass, the guitar, and keyboards -- all in the last two years or so. He played drums in the middle school band. He also did the recording. His songwriting skills have improved significantly in the last year.

In praise of Hillary

Hillary Clinton, the lead Presidential Democratic Party candidate is for banning all guns in America. She is considered by those who have dealt with her as a little more than just a little self-righteous.

At a recent rural elementary school meeting in north Florida she asked the kids audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, she started to slowly clap her hands, once every few seconds.. Holding the audience in total silence, she said into the microphone, 'Every time I clap my hands, a child in America dies from gun violence.'

A young voice with a proud southern accent (probably Little Johnny) from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet.

'Well, stop clappin, ya stupid fucking bitch.'

A memory within a dream

I was little. I could not sleep. I went into the living room where my Dad was watching TV in his big black Naugahyde chair. I thought it was the middle of the night, but I am sure I had not been in bed long. I climbed into dad's lap. He was watching a movie. He had a bowl of chips and he let me have a few. He was watching PT 109. I saw the destroyer smash through the plywood of JFK's little boat. I snuggled on my Daddy's chest and I knew I was loved.

I only remember that tiny slice of life, but I would not trade that memory for the rubies of India. I dreamed about this memory last night. Life is sometimes weird.

More pigmy sex -- with photos!

Holy shit, I do not want to have to turn in my Union card (you know I loooove Unions). I guess I need to post something. Well let us start with excuses. No post yesterday because I was off trying to earn a buck. Those kids are like baby birds, mouths open crying for food. I thought I would post something later today, since I have a conference call in about 20 minutes with my boss and the company president. But clearly Blogging is Way more important.

In any case, quantity over quality and this counts as a post. My standing in the Union remains intact.

Random Wednesday Ramblings

I once decided I would write a book called "The Electric Death of Alexander Macabre". Consider it copyrighted.

By the time I go to sleep tonight I will have read 13 books since January 1. None had pictures.

I still need several documents before I can file my taxes including my W2. Can some of you accountant types explain why it takes so long to get a W2 in today's computer age?

I like Grape Soda. I am pretty fond of bacon.

Taking a quick look at those who aspire to the Presidency of the Greatest Nation in the World, I have only one comment -- is this the best we can do?

For reasons I will not discuss, I read through some of my archives yesterday. There were some decent posts in the early days. Now you get stuff like this. Read my archives sometimes and let me know what posts are interesting.

Acidman and others have bemoaned the fact that the post you spend a lot of time composing get little or no response. The trash you crank out in minutes is often the most popular. Go figure. Sometimes when I think I am being really funny, I get crickets. I am not sure how that makes me feel.

I find myself in a period of little or no motivation. Yesterday, a coworker mentioned he felt the same. What gives? Is it the weather? For me it extends beyond work.

I have not had a cigar in weeks and weeks.

I once could speak French. Now I can only speak Pepe Le Pew.

Why is Speedy Gonzales offensive? He is smart and always wins.

Through the magic of the Internet I have been watching old episodes of WKRP in Cincinnati. I had forgotten how funny that show was.

Are you still reading? Why?

The clue is

Badajoz


No fair using Google

Another movie review

What can I say? Well, nothing.

I am bored by politics. I am already looking for that magic spot on the ballot that reads "None of the Above." There is one bright spot, if the Hildebeast is elected, Congress will turn Republican and Conservative in two years. We have seen often in the past that the President cannot do much with a recalcitrant Congress. Even better, Congress cannot do much either. Gridlock is not necessarily a bad thing kiddoes.

Great game in freezing Green Bay last night. Gutsy call for the Jersey Giants to put the kicker in to win the game. He had already shanked a couple of shorter ones.

Man, I would laugh my ass off if the Patriots lost. It can happen. Remember what the underdog Patriots did to the supposedly unstoppable Rams a few years ago? I would like at some point to see the fawning media actually care that the Patriots are admitted cheaters. Greatest team of all time? Maybe, but they need at least a small asterisk.

We went to the movies last night. The jackass girl behind us talked and laughed and moaned ohhhh at every little happy/sad/cute/sentimental/funny moment. By the end of the movie I was ready turn around and choke the life from the skinny bitch. If her boyfriend did not dump her by the time he took her home he is a moron, an idiot and a complete dunce. I do not care if she could pleasure him nine different ways, spending one more minute with a stupid, rude cunt like that is not worth it. If he does not break up with her, he deserves to spend a lifetime dealing with tasselled heart-shaped pillows on his couch and the constant yipping of a little ankle-biting dog. The kids will sport monikers like "Buffy" and "Bobby" and he will be forced to have the family portrait taken 12 times a year in matching outfits because "Ohhh, it will be so cute." Their family room will have a flowered couch and there will be a glass cabinet filled with figurines with big heads and bigger eyes. Pictures of kittens will hang in the hallway. She will probably make him eat tofu burgers. She will make her kids eat granola bars and drink sugarless KoolAid. He will live in miserable hell of cuteness and sickening sweetness and soccer until one final "ohhh" drives him to beat her senseless with a baseball bat one cold January night after a dreadful theme party. He will kick her a final time in the mouth and tell her "That is for ruining every movie we have ever seen by talking and 'ohhhh-ing' and being an all around dumb blond bimbo." I, for one will stand up and cheer, praying I can be on the jury.*

I cannot give a review to the movie because some loud-mouth girl right behind me distracted me the whole damn movie.

I watched the second half of Packers game and then a DVD of "Big Jake" when I got home. I give it four stars. The Duke kills that SOB who cuts up his dog with a machete. 'Nuff said.

* If the above description resembles one of my readers in any way, well too bad.

Winter

Damn it is cold. I caught the Tidy Bowl Man ice fishing just now in my toilet.

I flushed that sumbitch. I always thought he was just creepy.

Not Again?

I was thinking of offing myself today, but it looks like the Suicide Help Desk is still closed. I hoped it was a temporary thing.

That sucks. Where are you now Big Dick?

View from my windshield

I took this picture of the Wednesday sunset with my phone at 70+ mph (65 mph exactly if you are an Illinois State Trooper). I was in central Illinois. Nonetheless, it is still pretty spectacular I think.

Enough Already

It is the 18th of January. Turn off your Christmas lights. No one loves the Christmas Season more than I, but enough is enough. I do not mind much when the lights are turned on mid-November, The tree displays and merchandising that begins almost before the Halloween bats and witches are taken down is an irritant. The assholes that burn the colored lights and inflate their Snowmen and Santas in the middle of January are just pathetic. Driving home from piratically Wisconsin last night I saw several houses twinkling with the Holiday glow. In my own town I counted four houses in the mile or so between my abode and Wal-Mart. I admittedly live in a white-trash heavy community. That is no excuse.

Look, I understand the weather or extenuating circumstances may prevent you from taking down the lights. Sometimes you just cannot get to it. My own Mother-in-Law sported the same lights year round for years. When the old strand burned out, she just nailed new ones over the old. But she did not turn them on beyond a suitable period after Christmas.

Let it go people. Keep Christmas glowing in your heart, not on your roof. Get rid of that tree, ride the sleigh, do not display it. We are long past the Twelfth Night. Santa is on vacation, the reindeer are mating in their stables. Turn off those lights.

I don't have the skillz

my first Haiku try
five seven five is quite tough
a poet I'm not


I do not know how Jean does it.

Here is another lame try:

Honey from a bear
peanut butter on white bread
just another lunch

Steroids in baseball

I have often decried the growth of the Nanny State and the interference of Government into our lives. A reading of the writings of the founders is clear evidence they intended a limited government. The latest and best example is the current hearings into steroid use in baseball.

I love America's pastime. I firmly believe the game has been tainted by performance enhancing drugs. It makes me sick. Is is none of the Government's business. It is mere grandstanding in an election year. If Chris Shays and his buddies were so concerned, they would take time to learn the names of the cast of characters. "Mr. Sellick", whom I guess is Bud Selig and "Mr. Palmeri" (Palmero?) are key figures in the investigation. Don't these assholes in Congress have any shame?

Let us bring back the Whig party. What we have now is parties of Big Government and Really Big Government. I am so sick of politics...

Packers QB Change

New Quarterback for the Packers...

In a news conference Deanna Favre announced she will be the starting QB for the Packers this coming Sunday. Deanna asserts that she is qualified to be starting QB because she has spent the past 16 years married to Brett while he played QB for the Packers. During this period of time she became familiar with the definition of a corner blitz, and is now completely comfortable with other terminology of the Packers offense. A survey of Packers fans shows that 50% of those polled supported the move.

Does this sounds idiotic and unbelievable to you? Well, Hillary Clinton makes the same claims as to why she is qualified to be President and 50% of democrats polled agreed. She has never run a City, County, or State. When told Hillary Clinton has experience because she has 8 years in the White House, Dick Morris stated "so has the pastry chef".

Otter again

Why you should never buy a cheap cake

Wal-Mart Employee: ''dis Wal-Mart's, how can I help you?"

Customer: "I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week."

Wal-Mart Employee: "Whachu want on da cake?"

Customer: "Best Wishes Suzanne" and underneath that "We will miss you."














stole it from Otter

Monday

My buddy had his knee replaced just before Christmas. We went to see him this weekend. He told me that the doctor said during his visit last week that he could start having sex again. Three weeks after major surgery and he could once again have sex!

It is drastic, but I am scheduling a knee replacement for as soon as possible. Whatever it takes...