Random Ramblings Involving Rabbits and Wet Spots and the Best Pizza I Ever Ate

For some unknown reason I woke up a little after five this morning.

That is a lie.

I know why I woke up a little after five this morning. It was get up or pee in the bed. Peeing in the bed would certainly tick off the wife. More importantly, its not my turn to sleep in the wet spot.

That is a lie.

Sort of anyway. There is no chart or revolving agreement regarding any possible wet spots.

Maybe I should just start over?

I woke up a little after five this morning and I was not able to get back to sleep. Now I am sitting at the old laptop, swilling coffee and yawning. Just typing about a yawn makes me yawn. Now you want to yawn. Weird how that works, isn't it?

Collin Cowherd is an ass. An ignorant douche bag of magnificent proportions. On Monday he proclaimed the whole Kevin Ward Jr. accident involving Tony Stewart was a result of "Southern Culture". Ward hails from New York. Stewart is from Indiana. New York is north of Canada. No one has ever confused anyone from New York as remotely Southern.  A random German stopped on the streets of Schweinfurt could tell you that. Ask anyone in the south, Hoosiers are Yankees. Not damn Yankees (the ones who come south and won't leave), but northerners nonetheless. 

I am at a loss to explain how a Sprint Car accident between two northerners embodies everything that is wrong about NASCAR and the South in general. Does the ignorant jerk Cowherd even understand that Sprint Cars are not stock cars? Cowherd, like many in the Northeast,  thinks everyone who speaks with a drawl lives down on Tobacco Road. As my man Bugs says -- "What a maroon".

I have eaten some really good pizza.

I think that about covers it.

Jimmy cracked corn

I suspect I have a serious character defect. Long time readers are pursing their lips and mumbling "just one?". Anyway, I just can't seem to summon vast amounts of tearful grief over people I don't even know.

"Robin Williams died today" says the wife.

"I heard that. What's for supper?" says I. Is it sad?, I guess.  Am I losing sleep or shedding precious tears? Not really.  Crazy Muslims beheading kids bothers me more.  I have never really understood celebrity adulation.  I was stunned to see a random woman standing at Elvis' grave at Graceland sobbing hysterically nearly a decade after the King died with his arms around a toilet. Princess Di --didn't know her.  Lauren Bacall - that sucks.  Old guy down the street who waved at me when I took a walk? Too bad. What was his name anyway? I'm sorry but for me they are but random squirrels crushed under a Goodyear down on Washington Street. I do feel bad, but I'm just not emotionally involved. Like I said, it is a character defect.

I have never cared for autographs.  I can't think of a single actor or entertainer that moved me to the point of hysteria. I saw where folks are leaving flowers and teddy bears on the steps of the home used as the set for Mrs. Doubtfire.  It was a movie people.

I guess I am missing the celebrity-worshiping gene.  I don't read People or watch TMZ.  If that is your thing, then good for you.  I am not judging. I just don't get it.

Modern Fairy Tales

I dare anyone to call me out with the lie about how Islam is the Religion of Peace. Raping and beheading little girls, decapitating small boys because they believe in a different Deity* is not the act of a good person, a purveyor of peaceful intentions. It is a sick cowardly, evil way of life. It deserves the loudest condemnation of every civilized human. Where are the representatives of the Nation of Islam, crying out that these are not true followers of the religion? Where are the Imams, and the everyday acolytes, preaching out and speaking out from the Mosques in disgust and outrage?

I bet if Christians were committing the foul deeds we see every day in Iraq and throughout much of the Muslim world, the airwaves would be filled with frantic hysterical stories. But since this is what the followers of Mohamed do, then it is not news, just another day under Sharia Law. It is the daily embodiment of the old journalism school adage -- it is not a story when a dog bites a man...




*not really, just a different version.  The actions prove the Muslim butchers are no more than ignorant goat fuckers.

Peace in our time

Hey, remember when The Obama was so wonderful he got a Nobel Peace Prize just for saying he would make the world a better place?

I would venture the state of the world is far worse than in the waning days of Bush's presidency and the full effect of our cut and run policy withdrawal from Afghanistan has yet to come to fruition.

Obama may not have improved our foreign policy, but his golf swing looks better every day.

Facts are so inconvenient

2011

“After taking office, I announced a new strategy that would end our combat mission in Iraq and remove all of our troops by the end of 2011,” he said. “So today, I can report that, as promised, the rest of our troops in Iraq will come home by the end of the year.” source

 2014

 “This issue keeps on coming up as if this was my decision,” Obama retorted when asked if he had any second thoughts, in light of the terrorist force taking over regions of Iraq, about having pulled all American troops out of the country. source

I am certain, somehow, Bush is at fault.

via HotAir

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,,no, no, no, no, no, no

There seems to be a growing movements to draft the big loser from the last election to run as the Republican nominee in 2016.  If anyone suggests such a foolish notion as nominating Romney within reach of my Adidas, I will kick the suggestor directly in the crotch with all of the firmness and strength I can muster.

A sneaky non-post post

Maybe you noticed.  Probably you did not. I have not posted much this week. Usually when I don't put something on the old blog for a few days I have about thirty-eleven posts written in my head and ready to go. Not this time.  I've got nuthin'

Oh, I could tell you it is cloudy and it might rain. I could bore you to tears about my plans to mow the yard later. We could discuss this strange impulse to scratch my right elbow. No one wants to read any of that shit. Well guess what? The joke is on you because i just wrote about all of it. And you read it.

Friday Music

One of the bands I always wanted to see live.  Their Live at the Filmore East LP is a classic.

It is not you, it is me

I'm ass-deep in alligators. Your patience is appreciated.

Tales from bygone days.

Richie was the red-headed kid who lived down the street. he was feisty and arrogant and was born not with a chip on his shoulder, but rather a chunk of granite. He slipped from his mother's womb mad at the world and his anger on increased during each of his years.

Richie liked to hide in the ally and hurl insults at the older kids as they came home from school. Soon the insults became oaths and one day he graduated to throwing eggs, then snowballs, and finally he used rocks to gain attention.

The older kids ignored his feeble taunts. They even overlooked the handfuls of gravel. But as Richie got older and stronger his aim improved and the day he hit Jerry with a walnut sized rock changed everything. The older boys turned in rapid pursuit and beat the crap out of little Richie.

The neighborhood mothers were aghast. How could those older boys bully little Richie like that? When Jerry pointed to the cut on his head and the blood on his face, he was accused of over-reacting.

The next week Richie was back, throwing rocks at the older boys. They chose a new. longer path home, but Richie found a new spot to make his attacks. Once again the older boys caught Richie and this time they beat him mercilessly. Jerry and his friends emphasized they just wanted to be left in peace. The neighborhood called the boys bullies for their rough treatment of poor little Richie. The boys protested they had walked out of their way to avoid confrontation, neighborhood wags said just walking where they had no "right" provoked Richie into his attack.

Richie blamed Jerry for the rest of his life for the beatings he received.  Never once, did the rock-throwing that precipitated the events enter into his narrative. Richie Hamas grew up to be a very bitter man, blaming everyone else for his problems.

Things I know #11

Everyone has problems.  Even though my issues are weighing me down like cement overshoes soled in lead, I know I have plenty to be thankful for.

On the other hand, if I eliminated complaining as a source of blog posts, my entries would pretty much disappear.

Texting the texture of the text

I wish I had something interesting and exciting to share with you.  My life is boring beyond belief.  I do not live in the fast lane, rather I cruise along like a stately '72 Buick driven by a retired accountant. 

Here is a recap of my Saturday. I woke around 6:30.  Drank a couple of cups of coffee and watched an old movie while surfing the interwebs. Turned off the movie 'cause it was boring and started another.  Paused it while I ate some cereal. After the movie I read until it was time for lunch. Not even 24 hours has passed and I cannot remember what I ate. I helped the wife clean house. I dusted and ran the sweeper. She cleaned the bathrooms and mopped the floors (most of the downstairs is wood).  I fixed a BBQ ranch chicken salad for supper. After cleaning the mess, I retired to the patio where I smoked a stogie and read until dark. 

Don't get me wrong, it was a good Saturday. But not the stuff of novels or movies or even exciting blog fodder. I suppose, if you even read this far, you would agree.   Perhaps I should have followed my first instinct and posted a music video.

I do believe in Global Warming, I do believe in Global Warming

July of 2014 was the coolest July in Indianapolis history. When I write "coolest" I don't mean as in "hip", I mean as in weather, as in there is no man-made global warming, and hasn't been warming for a decade "coolest".

To my knowledge, we have not hit 90F yet this summer. I can say with certainty we have not even been close to 100F.

I will entertain counterpoint arguments in the comments.

Things that make me smile

What?  Are you trying to tell me you don't need a reason to smile? Its Friday!

Riveting on a grand scale

This morning I had my normal two cups of Carriboo coffee from the machine that brews K-cups. I don't care for breakfast but the quack says I have to eat it,  I suspect he would not approve of my repast this morning.  I had a couple of microwave sausage patties and a sliced yellow tomato straight from the vine in my tiny garden. Dang it was good .  In an hour or so I will look to lunch. I'm not sure if I will go for a hot dog or a frozen burrito.

I can see why you read this piece o'crap.  It is truly mesmerizing in its insight, content, and prose.

History does not repeat, history does not repeat, history does not repeat

While the missiles fell almost daily on the population, Britain rallied the troops and fought on against the enemy. Often the battles raged in enemy cities and towns. Civilians were killed, schools, churches and houses were destroyed. Still, the missiles rained down. Britain started bombing the enemy from the air. The enemies ability to wage war was damaged.. Munition dumps and the factories that made the weapons of war were the main targets.  The enemy responded by moving the missile launchers and munitions storage areas to civilian population centers. Britain tried to lessen civilian casualties, but the nation must be protected.

If you have studied history, you know the story of Britain's heroic defense in the face of constant rocket attacks.  We admire the pluck and heroism of the British people in the face of terrifying, indiscriminate death from above. Their resolve to protect democracy against a totalitarian regime is the stuff of historical fact and legend. Few would disagree.

Now, go back to the paragraphs above and Substitute "Israel" for "Britain" and  "Hamas" for "enemy". 

The Border is finally being secured

Thank goodness the Border Patrol is on the case. Dangerous criminals are finally being stopped at the border.*

Read all about it.
  
*This post is written in sarcasm font, in case your browser does not recognize it.

Remember when the Democrats claimed Bush was an out of control despot?

I was listening to local talk radio this morning. The national news at the news break described a story about the Obama Administration dumping illegals in various states, including Tennessee. The Governor of the Volunteer State was outraged that the Feds would bring a significant group of people to the State without notifying anyone.  According to the news reader, the Administration said they did not notify the State government because of the illegals "privacy rights".

  White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest told reporters that the illegal immigrant children have a right to privacy. He said privacy rights of the illegals are more important than the public’s right to know what’s happening.

What?  Want documentation?  How about this?

"I still have not been contacted and have no information about these individuals or their sponsors other than what was posted on the HHS website.”

Head scratcher

Why a single Jew votes, funds, or supports the Democratic Party will forever remain a mystery to me. No political party in the USA has done more harm to Israel and Jews than the Democrats. Not even the American Nazi party.

Quote of the day

“So, yeah, there’s too much money in politics...There are special interests that have too much influence...There is something you can do right now today to make a difference and that is to write a big, fat check. I kid you not, ...I’m going to be honest with you. That’s what we need you to do right now. We need you to write the biggest, fattest check that you can possibly write.”  -- First lady Michelle Obama

These people have even less shame than the Clintons, and that, my friends, is saying something.