Episode Six: the heroine escapes

Good morning blog readers. In today's thrilling installment I will take the trivial and mundane events of my life and through juvenile prose, imperfect analogies, and flawed logic render those meaningless events more boring than necessary.  In other words, spew forth another episode in a long succession of postings. Here we go.

I woke cheerful and rested yesterday. I picked some of the  first tomatoes of the season from my little garden. Seven were ready, and at least four or five will be ready today. I ate one of them for my lunch. There is nothing better than a fresh picked 'mater. I went for a walk around the neighborhood. It was warm and I tired before I got more than a couple of miles. Considering I had spent most of the previous two weeks lying in bed, I guess that is pretty good. We drove down to B-town...well, I rode...to drop off a dresser at the boy's new apartment. We ended up taking him to an early dinner then bought him some groceries. We came back home and picked up a small Pizza King pie for a late (second?) supper.  We ate sandwiches with the boy before five, we were hungry. How do old people eat so early? 

I know. I expect you are breathless just reading about it.

I woke up dreaming about cooking pork chops on the grill. I think I know what is for supper.

I'm not going to belabor this stuff much going forward, unless I do, but no posts for the next few days. If you don't know why, read down a post or two. But why in the heck aren't you stopping by several times a day?

In summation; long boring post accomplished. Hey, it takes skill to write prose more boring than "Moby Dick". For all you know the past decade of effort has been entirely on purpose. Perhaps I work at being this uninspiring. Yeah, that's it.

Enjoy your Sunday.

Close call

I went to the surgeon yesterday. I go back and start over on Monday, just as I expected.  After the doctor visit we met our best friends for a burger. They were in town to pick up her car after some service work. The came on the motorcycle. On the way home he was in front, she in the car behind, when he hit some wet pavement and lost control of the bike. Thank God he was wearing a helmet. A broken rib, torn thumb ligaments and lots of bruising is the extent of the damage. Like I said, I don't have anything to complain about.

So, anyway, I am moseying along this weekend with shitty vision in one eye, and blurry vision in the other. I can see as well as ever in the right eye,  everything in the left looks like I am viewing the world through a frosted shower door. No more lying on my back! Until Monday. I rewarded myself for being a good patient by going to the mall after supper and purchasing a new Chicago Cubs hat. We were there when we learned about our friend's wreck.

So there you have it. No politics. Nothing of interest. Have a great Saturday.

About last night

In case you missed it, here is a synopsis of Mrs. Clinton's speech last night:

1. Vote for me, I've got a V.  As in vagina.

2. Really angry woman claims Trump is unfit because he is really angry.

That pretty much covers it.

Wasted

I don't return to the due surgeon until this afternoon. I already know the verdict, and my man Freddy sums it nicely in this song. A waste of time. My corneal transplant didn't take. I got a dud. Unlike your typical Democrat, I am not blaming anyone or anything. Sometimes stuff doesn't work. I will start over Monday like the last two weeks did not happen.

Instead of recovering and getting back on the road and doing my job in mid to late August it will be at least two weeks later.  I worry about that. I can only be so effective working the phones, especially when flat on my back.

Wasted days and wasted nights indeed. I've had three surgeries and spent pretty much 90% of the past two weeks lying flat on my back. So it goes. I could be really sick, or in pain. In the scale of things this is a minor speed bump in a life full of them. Plus, it is a story I can tell my grandkids -- " Yeah, well I once had to lie four weeks on a bed of plywood, facing uphill in a snowstorm....".

Dear Women of NOW

Through my limited reading and watching (listening) to the various speakers at the DNC it seems women should vote for Clinton because she is a woman. It is time to break that glass ceiling. It is beyond time we support women for higher office, I'm told.

Where was this support when Sarah Pallin was on the ticket for VP? I'm pretty site she was a woman.

Of course NOW was exposed as frauds when they supported Bill Clinton's serial sexual harassment. The "lib" in Women's Lib" is for liberal, not liberation.

Second verse, same as the first

Remember my last post? No, not the rerun, the one where things did not go so well with my transplant? Well mentally cut and past that one right here. Yes, it still isn't sticking down deipite spending approx 72 straight hours flat on my back. So we did the whole needles in the eyeball thing again yesterday. I'm again on my back until Friday; only up to eat and relieve myself and short stretches. The doc thinks I'm going to have to likely have a new implant. We will know Friday afternoon. If so, my left eye will be redone on Monday instead of doing my right eye.  I've had three procedures on my left eye in eight days, with the balance spent lying flat on my back. I'm starting to not have much fun. Plus the Cubs are losing to the damn Sox. WTH?

It's hard to type upside down on the iPad. Forgive the typos

A post

  Here is a rerun, a classic joke from April of 2006. I used to post a lot of jokes.

The Seven Dwarfs go to Rome

The Seven Dwarfs

The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are "the seven dwarfs" they get ushered in to see the Pope.
Dopey leads the pack.

"Dopey my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"
Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."

In the background a few of the dwarfs begin giggling.

Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them.

Dopey turns back to face the Pope. "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"

The Pope, puzzled again, thinks for a moment and then answers, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in all of Europe."

Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them all with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back to the Pope and says, "Mr. Pope, are there ANY dwarf nuns in the whole world?"

The Pope answers, "I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling, and laughing, pounding on the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting:

"Dopey screwed a penguin!"
"Dopey screwed a penguin!"

Ain't that a kick in the head

It seems kinda sorta was not what the doc had in mind. He was looking for perfection. I have a recalcitrant implant that was not sticking in place, so Friday I was poked and prodded, a speculum screwed my eye open and needles injected another air bubble in my eye to hold it down. I then got to spend another 24 hours flat on my back, no pillow, no tv, just staring at the ceiling with my one good eye.  Saturday meant 12 hours of my awake time on my back. I know why Cyclops was so pissed all the time in mythology. His lower back ached and he was bored. Now I'm back to blurry vision, like looking underwater, as I focus through the air bubble. The good news is I only have to spend 1/2 my waking hours lying on my back today.

So it goes.

Sorta

I'm alive. I can kinda sorta see. It is like I have Vaseline smeared on my eye. Perhaps it is more akin to the cheesy blurring you used to see in romantic scenes back in the seventies tv shows. The Doc says all is as it should be and things will improve more when I get the stitches out layer today.

Reading is hard, typing this harder.

But at least you know sometime (still another eye to go) in the future things will return to normal around here. That may be good or bad depending on your point of view.

Excuse any typos please

canning okra for fun and profit

Reruns. Take what you can get, even if it is a canned post. Boy, the quality of this place was not any better back in 2007

August 19, 2007

When you wish upon a star

I am sitting here daydreaming. It is one of my favorite pastimes. Old Walter Mitty has nothing on me. Like many of you I wish I had more money, or sex, world peace, or the opportunity to punch Hillary right in the snatch...

Today I have a very simple wish. I say it is a simple wish because I could easily make it come true with just a little effort. I just do not want to do the work. Here is my wish:

I wish someone would fry me some bacon.


What do you wish for?

For the first time in my life I am brimming with optimism

Today is the big day. I'm off to have an endothelial keratoplasty. I'm told my surgeon is not only one of the best in Central Indiana, but in the country.

I'm not sure when i will resume regular posting. It all depends on how fast I heal. I'm told to expect vision in my left eye to return in days to weeks. This is obviously a canned post, and I have others scheduled for your periodic amusement.

This tune is representative of my expectations:

This is a snappy, attention grabbing title to a riveting post you will want to bookmark and read again and again. Unless it is not.

The coffee is black and hot. The day looks to be gorgeous. I have stuff to do that I can assure you won't get done. Probably tomorrow. You never know.

Pence. I'm not positive he was going to win re-election as governor of Indiana, so I'm not sure what he does to help Trump beyond assuage the conservative and establishment types in the GOP. Pence is the prototypical establishment candidate. He believes in his conservative ideas, but is a party man through and through. He semi-supports amnesty. He signed the terrible "religious freedom" law. He has been at war with the duly elected State Superintendent of Schools, primarily because she is a Democrat. Mike Pence is very well spoken (he used to host a radio talk show) and a great debater. His refusal to go negative in a campaign will be an effective counterbalance to Trump's attack, attack, attack tendencies. Pence is the proto- typical vanilla hard-line GOPer Trump and his supporters have voted against all along and probably just the guy to make many in the party hold their nose and vote against Hillary. Think of a boring Kasich, who aligns ideologically more with Rubio.

I need more coffee. I have "Lido" by Boz Scaggs stuck in my head. Please make it stop.

I hope you have a great Saturday.

Pure Evil

There is evil in this world. There always has been. That makes it no easier to accept. The events in Nice, France saddens me to no end. Families, babes in strollers, the innocent killed because they may or may not believe in the same religion as a guy in a truck out to murder, terrorize, and destroy.

I am tempted to wonder of the President of France will call for restrictions on trucks, but that would be trite and insulting to the murdered.

We will hear the usual calls for tempering our anger. We will hear again that those who do this do not represent Islam. But there is the rub. The suicide killers believe they are on jihad, they are convinced their God will reward them for wanton acts of murder. They believe they are acting as directed by Islamic creed, therefore, they are. Perception is indeed reality. Just as witch burning and the Star Chamber represented Christian beliefs in the past, modern Muslims must accept that terrorism and the murder of innocent people is a tenet of their religion in today's world. Secular and political pressure alone will not change the culture of violence. The call to stop the insane violence and terror must come from the Imams and prayer leaders. Those who want to burn down the world must be isolated and marginalized. Political pressure must be brought to bear on the governments in places like Iran and Saudi Arabia to stop their tacit approval and outright support.

Make no mistake, we are at war. We have been since the eighth century.

Friday Music

Why not? I try to accommodate my commenters:

True confession: I have never heard this song before.

Satisfaction Guaranteed

The skies are heavy with clouds this morning. The view to the west from the blog room window is gray and foreboding.

Heavy thunderstorms rolled through late yesterday afternoon and evening. Thunder rolled, lightning flashed, winds blew through the trees. We got a couple of inches of much needed rainfall. The wife's flowers look a bit bedraggled this morning, but they will spring back nicely with a little sun. I have not been to the side garden to look at my 'maters, but I'm sure they are fine.

The wife went to hang out with a friend yesterday evening. She left just before the storms came through and returned in time for the late news. I'm sure it was a night of girl talk. That left me on my own for supper. I drove down to the corner and got some Chinese take out. It was OK, I went well before dark and the round trip was less than a mile. I had Mongolian beef with fried rice and one half of an egg roll. The rest of he evening was filled with reading and a little TV. 

Geez, this whole thing is just boring minutiae, if I had a cat I would be cat blogging. I will tell you what I will do, send me a self-addressed stamped envelope and I will return your subscription fees for this entry. No, that is not good enough. I value my readers, I will return a whole week of payments to each and every one of you. I don't want anyone to think they are getting less than their money's worth around here. I may not have the glitz of a ShamWow, nor the reputation of high quality you get from a Ronco product, but you have my word I will refund your money in full if you are not completely satisfied. In fact, I will throw in a post tomorrow for free! 

PSA

I have been a registered organ donor since I was 18. While I'm certain there is very little anyone could want from my body, you never know.

Starting next week the gift of someone's eyes, more specifically corneal tissue, will keep me from going blind. I cannot express my thanks enough to the anonymous donor.

If you are not a registered donor, you should consider it.

Just to be clear

If I understand President Obama, the white police in Dallas who lost their lives protecting a BLM protest are just part of a culture rooted in systemic bias and prejudice.

Quite the uniter, isn't he?

Get off my lawn

Re-reading my lame efforts from this morning it occurs to me I am turning into an old man, repeating the same old stories. Don't believe me?

Or maybe this one that I have no recollection of writing at all, probably for good reason.

Star date 24-14.7

It looks to be a beautiful summer day here in central Hoosierdom. This is the kind of day that reflects my youth in my memory banks. Eight-year old me would be on my red stingray bike pedaling the backstreets of town, going to the park, wading in the drainage ditch by the railroad tracks, or riding to my grandma's house. Thirteen-year old me was still in bed at this time of day. Later in the afternoon I probably went to the public pool. Fifty-four year-old me is getting ready for work. It still looks to be a beautiful summer day.

Didja know?

Here is some trivia for you. Today is one of only two days in the US that there is not a game occurring in one of the major sports (NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL). Owners of sports bars weep, wives rejoice. Those who do not like sports don't care.

I am certain my wife will be pleased to find I am not watching a game, checking e score, or talking about the Cubs today.