I have never been big on the end-of-the-year recaps. I have mentioned this has been a bad year. But that does not mean I do not have plenty of good in my life.
I fully expect to begin 2018 the same way I have celebrated the previous 38 New Years - with a kiss from the love of my life.
Best wishes for the Happiest of New Years
If you drink, don't drive. Be careful out there tonight.
December 31, 2017
December 30, 2017
a world I never knew
Speech was a required course in my high school and the “look at me” aspect of my personality adapted well to speechifying. I found the class an easy ‘A’. So my senior year I found I had just about enough credits to graduate if I took four classes a day. Besides the required Government/Social Studies class I took stuff I enjoyed: band, English, French, and though I did not need another class I took advanced Speech.
We covered a range of subjects in the class from debate to Roberts Rules of Order to various types of speech to acting. The class was small, maybe a dozen kids and sometimes we just discussed the events of the day. We learned to communicate. I probably enjoyed that class as much as any in my public school days and that speech class forced me to break me out of my anonymous shy boy shell.
One day the teacher brought in a box set of albums. It was recordings of Lenny Bruce. The teacher tried to give the historic background to Bruce’s comedy. But in the spring of 1980 the comedy was too cerebral, to East Coast, too dated, and had lost the edge it had in the late 1950’s. It wasn’t crude nor risqué compared to contemporary SNL or comedy of National Lampoon. I just didn't find it funny. The school administration also likely would have even less than amused had they known Mr. Henderson was playing records with curse words to 17 and 18 year-olds at school. Still, it exposed kids in a hick farm town in the middle of nowhere Indiana to a wider world. Isn’t that the point of education?
We covered a range of subjects in the class from debate to Roberts Rules of Order to various types of speech to acting. The class was small, maybe a dozen kids and sometimes we just discussed the events of the day. We learned to communicate. I probably enjoyed that class as much as any in my public school days and that speech class forced me to break me out of my anonymous shy boy shell.
One day the teacher brought in a box set of albums. It was recordings of Lenny Bruce. The teacher tried to give the historic background to Bruce’s comedy. But in the spring of 1980 the comedy was too cerebral, to East Coast, too dated, and had lost the edge it had in the late 1950’s. It wasn’t crude nor risqué compared to contemporary SNL or comedy of National Lampoon. I just didn't find it funny. The school administration also likely would have even less than amused had they known Mr. Henderson was playing records with curse words to 17 and 18 year-olds at school. Still, it exposed kids in a hick farm town in the middle of nowhere Indiana to a wider world. Isn’t that the point of education?
December 29, 2017
Get over it
A pathetic guy started screaming at the animatronic Trumpster at the Disney World Hall of Presidents as part of the “resistance “. I wish this was the setup for a joke. He proudly tweeted about it. I’m not sure if I would brag about this epic level of stupidity. Over 800 people liked his tweet.
The Grouchy Old Cripple has often said liberalism is a mental disease. I’m beginning to think he is right.
The Grouchy Old Cripple has often said liberalism is a mental disease. I’m beginning to think he is right.
December 28, 2017
I thought that was March’s thing
Remember when December started unusually mild? We had temperatures pushing 70 at the beginning of the month. Mother Nature likes to bat for average, so now we are seeing a spate of very cold weather to even things out. It is not just the month of March presenting us with the lamb/lion motif. Looking ahead at the forecast, the new year is slated to start off with bone chilling cold: highs around here will barely inch above zero. Guess what? It is winter, it gets cold like this every year.
In other news, there is no other news. The Colts will wind down their dismal season Sunday. The politicians are home, doing no harm. Serious electioneering a few weeks away for the 2018 primary season.
Here at the homestead I am ready to strip the house of the Christmas decorations. We normally go from Thanksgiving to New Years. This year, I was ready to be done with it on the 26th. We have two invitations to hang out on New Years. I don’t really want to go anywhere. I’m ready to put this year in the past. I’m trying to moderate my language these days, but I can only say good fucking riddance to 2017.
Why yes, I have a bad attitude about everything these days — work, weather, the holidays, politics, life in general. You may be shocked at this clear departure from my usual sunny disposition and positive outlook on things. Maybe more coffee will help improve my attitude.
I doubt it.
In other news, there is no other news. The Colts will wind down their dismal season Sunday. The politicians are home, doing no harm. Serious electioneering a few weeks away for the 2018 primary season.
Here at the homestead I am ready to strip the house of the Christmas decorations. We normally go from Thanksgiving to New Years. This year, I was ready to be done with it on the 26th. We have two invitations to hang out on New Years. I don’t really want to go anywhere. I’m ready to put this year in the past. I’m trying to moderate my language these days, but I can only say good fucking riddance to 2017.
Why yes, I have a bad attitude about everything these days — work, weather, the holidays, politics, life in general. You may be shocked at this clear departure from my usual sunny disposition and positive outlook on things. Maybe more coffee will help improve my attitude.
I doubt it.
December 27, 2017
Five below zero
...is what the weather app describes the outdoor temperature this morning. The wind chill is -17. Fahrenheit is the scale. In other words, it is darned cold. To put things in perspective, it would be warmer to crawl into my freezer than to go outside. It is that cold. While I am back to work today, I am glad I don’t have to hit the road this morning.
December 26, 2017
Sparring with my inner demons on Boxing Day
Good morning, readers. I hope you had a great Christmas, Festivus, holiday, or long weekend. We had a great Christmas here at the old homestead. On Christmas Eve we celebrated with extended families and on Christmas Day we went to my daughter’s for dinner. I raked in some nice gifts. Apparently, I was a much nicer boy this year than I thought.
I ordered my wife some Ugg slippers from Amazon. It is the only thing she requested specifically. Either I ordered the wrong size (I don’t think so) or they sent the wrong size. My fair spouse does not have large feet, but these slippers were obviously made for someone who practiced the ancient Chinese art of footbinding. They are tiny. We will have to figure out how to return and exchange them this week.
It is a chilly ten degrees outside this morning with a subzero windchill. I have no intention of going outside, so it does not matter to me. Inside, the thermostat is set to a comfortable 69. (Hah! He said 69). I will admit it is cool here in the recliner next to blogging room window. We still have the original windows from when the house was built in the early ‘90s. All it takes is money to have them upgraded to more energy efficient models.
I have the day off work, so goofing off is on the schedule today. Maybe I can get the wife to go see Star Wars with me. Probably not.
Have a great Tuesday
I ordered my wife some Ugg slippers from Amazon. It is the only thing she requested specifically. Either I ordered the wrong size (I don’t think so) or they sent the wrong size. My fair spouse does not have large feet, but these slippers were obviously made for someone who practiced the ancient Chinese art of footbinding. They are tiny. We will have to figure out how to return and exchange them this week.
It is a chilly ten degrees outside this morning with a subzero windchill. I have no intention of going outside, so it does not matter to me. Inside, the thermostat is set to a comfortable 69. (Hah! He said 69). I will admit it is cool here in the recliner next to blogging room window. We still have the original windows from when the house was built in the early ‘90s. All it takes is money to have them upgraded to more energy efficient models.
I have the day off work, so goofing off is on the schedule today. Maybe I can get the wife to go see Star Wars with me. Probably not.
Have a great Tuesday
I spent Christmas in the hospital
I asked the wife what she wanted for Christmas. She said to get something that would make her look sexy.
I went out and bought a case of beer.
I went out and bought a case of beer.
December 25, 2017
December 24, 2017
December 23, 2017
Ding dong ding dooong
New day, same story. It seems I am destined to get up at 4:30 or so every day. Whatever. I’m not gonna cry about it.
The fairly heavy rain that is now falling is slated to turn to snow in the next hour or so. The ground is soggy and warm, so we shall see if it sticks. Heavier snow is in the forecast for tomorrow. We might get a couple of inches. I can live with that. A white Christmas would be nice. Vermont should be beautiful this time of year with all of that snow. If you don’t get that reference you outta spend a little more time watching old movies. Sheesh.
I have all of my shopping done. The wife has a couple of things to get for the family gift exchange. I get gifts for one, she gets the rest. That seems like a fair division of labor to me! I have to wrap my gifts still. I might go drop in the DVD of Ed’s favorite Christmas movie and reflect upon my wonderful life when I’m done writing this riveting post. I’ll let you know when I make up my mind.
Or not.
Have a great Saturday. Oh, and for the record, a canned post will follow this live one later today. Sunday and Monday’s efforts are also canned*. No fresh Christmas content for you. I don’t feel bad about it. You should spend your time with someone besides me on Christmas, as crazy as that seems. So let me offer up a live and hearty Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays to every one of you.
Update:
*edit. For reasons I won’t divulge I was perusing my writings from a December 2016 and discovered that my holiday posts for 2017 are the same as last year. Whoops. I guess my memory really is getting bad. Sorry about those repeats. Well, sorta, I don’t feel bad enough to redo my lame efforts. You will get over it. Mostly.
The fairly heavy rain that is now falling is slated to turn to snow in the next hour or so. The ground is soggy and warm, so we shall see if it sticks. Heavier snow is in the forecast for tomorrow. We might get a couple of inches. I can live with that. A white Christmas would be nice. Vermont should be beautiful this time of year with all of that snow. If you don’t get that reference you outta spend a little more time watching old movies. Sheesh.
I have all of my shopping done. The wife has a couple of things to get for the family gift exchange. I get gifts for one, she gets the rest. That seems like a fair division of labor to me! I have to wrap my gifts still. I might go drop in the DVD of Ed’s favorite Christmas movie and reflect upon my wonderful life when I’m done writing this riveting post. I’ll let you know when I make up my mind.
Or not.
Have a great Saturday. Oh, and for the record, a canned post will follow this live one later today. Sunday and Monday’s efforts are also canned*. No fresh Christmas content for you. I don’t feel bad about it. You should spend your time with someone besides me on Christmas, as crazy as that seems. So let me offer up a live and hearty Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays to every one of you.
Update:
*edit. For reasons I won’t divulge I was perusing my writings from a December 2016 and discovered that my holiday posts for 2017 are the same as last year. Whoops. I guess my memory really is getting bad. Sorry about those repeats. Well, sorta, I don’t feel bad enough to redo my lame efforts. You will get over it. Mostly.
December 22, 2017
Focus is more than a model of car
I have been playing the Elevate brain training app for a while now. It helps improve your memory and focus, with games centering on reading, writing, speaking, math, and listening. The games are quick and fun and it only takes a few minutes each morning to play the three random daily games you get with the free version. Some of the games I like better than others. I find the “Visualization” game in the reading module incredibly easy (I’m in the 99.99 percentile on that one) and some of the math games incredibly hard (I hate you fractions).
I do very well in Reading, Writing, and Speaking. Math and Listening; not so well. I told my wife my scores the other day and she was in no way surprised that my listening scores were even lower than my math scores. Then she said something else, but I confess I wasn’t paying attention.
I noticed a trend the other day in the game’s scorekeeping methodology. I am close to reaching the next level in Writing. If I have a good game score (excellent or great) I inch one or two points closer to the next level. If I have a bad score, I slip 10 points further away. The rewards are small, the punishments large.
Mostly I started this training app because hypochondriac me was worried my memory was going. I was granted one gift at birth, an extraordinary memory. In the last decade or so I found my ability to recall slipping. I knew the Jeopardy answers, I just couldn’t get them out fast enough. My Elevate memory scores are very high. I guess it is just age. The synapses don’t fire with the same alacrity. Perhaps the file cabinets in my brain are so full of “stuff” it just takes longer to find the right fact in the right file. Maybe my memory is failing. It could be I’m just sliding from “excellent” to “above average”. I had another point, but I cannot remember what it was.
I’m not going to share my scores. It is embarrassing.
I do very well in Reading, Writing, and Speaking. Math and Listening; not so well. I told my wife my scores the other day and she was in no way surprised that my listening scores were even lower than my math scores. Then she said something else, but I confess I wasn’t paying attention.
I noticed a trend the other day in the game’s scorekeeping methodology. I am close to reaching the next level in Writing. If I have a good game score (excellent or great) I inch one or two points closer to the next level. If I have a bad score, I slip 10 points further away. The rewards are small, the punishments large.
Mostly I started this training app because hypochondriac me was worried my memory was going. I was granted one gift at birth, an extraordinary memory. In the last decade or so I found my ability to recall slipping. I knew the Jeopardy answers, I just couldn’t get them out fast enough. My Elevate memory scores are very high. I guess it is just age. The synapses don’t fire with the same alacrity. Perhaps the file cabinets in my brain are so full of “stuff” it just takes longer to find the right fact in the right file. Maybe my memory is failing. It could be I’m just sliding from “excellent” to “above average”. I had another point, but I cannot remember what it was.
I’m not going to share my scores. It is embarrassing.
December 21, 2017
Try, try again
That other post is gone. The Nazis at the NFL will not let me post videos that tout their product. Now there is a valid reason to kneel in protest. Not during the Anthem, though.
Instead, since I’m feeling chatty, here is some more classic Christmas music. You will listen — unless you hate puppies and kittens and gentle butterflies. Do it for the children.
Instead, since I’m feeling chatty, here is some more classic Christmas music. You will listen — unless you hate puppies and kittens and gentle butterflies. Do it for the children.
Shortest or longest?
Today marks the solstice. The weather reader told me today will be the shortest day. In fact, today will be some nanoseconds over 24 hours, just like yesterday.
Yes, you in the back? Uh hum. Yes. Oh, the hours of daylight are the shortest of the year. I see. The almanac indicates we will have 9 hours and 21 minutes of sun today at the old homestead, cloud cover not withstanding. So for me, today does make the “shortest day” of sun and the first day of winter.
Like most things, this is all a matter of perspective.
If you lived at 40 degrees of latitude south instead of north, today would be the first day of summer and the longest in terms of the hours between sunrise and sunset. Of course, most of the 40th degree latitude south crosses ocean, except for a couple of islands of Tasmania and the tip of South America, so not many folks get to enjoy the height of summer in those regions. By most mariner accounts, the oceans are fierce and rough in the “roaring forties”.
What does all of this mean? Not much. This big blue ball we call home continues to spin on its tilted axis as it rotates around the sun. The weather will be seasonably warm today and cold over the weekend. It may snow. Winter is not coming, it is here. Tomorrow we can look forward to more minutes of sunlight as the days march forward to another spring.
Yes, you in the back? Uh hum. Yes. Oh, the hours of daylight are the shortest of the year. I see. The almanac indicates we will have 9 hours and 21 minutes of sun today at the old homestead, cloud cover not withstanding. So for me, today does make the “shortest day” of sun and the first day of winter.
Like most things, this is all a matter of perspective.
If you lived at 40 degrees of latitude south instead of north, today would be the first day of summer and the longest in terms of the hours between sunrise and sunset. Of course, most of the 40th degree latitude south crosses ocean, except for a couple of islands of Tasmania and the tip of South America, so not many folks get to enjoy the height of summer in those regions. By most mariner accounts, the oceans are fierce and rough in the “roaring forties”.
What does all of this mean? Not much. This big blue ball we call home continues to spin on its tilted axis as it rotates around the sun. The weather will be seasonably warm today and cold over the weekend. It may snow. Winter is not coming, it is here. Tomorrow we can look forward to more minutes of sunlight as the days march forward to another spring.
December 20, 2017
Wednesday Wanders
I fried up some chicken for supper last night. Mashed spuds, gravy, biscuits, and corn rounded out the meal. I’m not sure why you’d care what I ate.
I am slouching towards the weekend and Christmas holiday. I think I might take a few days of vacation to get the whole next week off. It is not like any customer is going to talk to me. I usually use that dead period to clean up my files and such. I’m in pretty good shape this year. I could use the time to prospect; finding info on potential customers through the interwebz. I could save my vacation days and work.
I am not sure if we have ever been less prepared for Christmas. The good news is my daughter is hosting Christmas dinner, so I don’t have that to worry about. We just have to make some stuff for the pitch-ins at the extended family Christmas Eve functions.
We went to the granddaughters’s Christmas pageant at preschool yesterday. There is nothing more entertaining than watching the teachers try to get groups of 2, 3, and 4 year-olds to line up and sing. It is like trying to herd guinea pigs. The kids are cute and hilarious. The church had big video screens on the sides of the stage. My granddaughter spent most of the time watching herself not sing.
The wife is heading over to my daughter’s today to make cookies, candy, and treats. It will be an all day affair. Three generations of girls cooking and baking. They will have a blast. Keeping my granddaughter from dumping whole bottles of sprinkles or colored sugar on every sugar cookie will be a challenge. Like every kid, she loves sprinkles.
I have a tune from an old musical floating on the edge of my consciousness that sums up my mood today: coasting along. I just can’t dredge it up. I don’t know if the song fragment is Desi singing in “The long, long trailer” or a Martin/Lewis flick, or a Crosby and Hope road adventure. It is just an undefined snippet about “cruisn’ along, singin’ a song”. Hah! The internet knows all and sees all. The song is “Side by Side”. Martin and Lewis covered it. So did Bing. That explains why both were rolling around in my brain pan.
I hope you have a great Wednesday.
I am slouching towards the weekend and Christmas holiday. I think I might take a few days of vacation to get the whole next week off. It is not like any customer is going to talk to me. I usually use that dead period to clean up my files and such. I’m in pretty good shape this year. I could use the time to prospect; finding info on potential customers through the interwebz. I could save my vacation days and work.
I am not sure if we have ever been less prepared for Christmas. The good news is my daughter is hosting Christmas dinner, so I don’t have that to worry about. We just have to make some stuff for the pitch-ins at the extended family Christmas Eve functions.
We went to the granddaughters’s Christmas pageant at preschool yesterday. There is nothing more entertaining than watching the teachers try to get groups of 2, 3, and 4 year-olds to line up and sing. It is like trying to herd guinea pigs. The kids are cute and hilarious. The church had big video screens on the sides of the stage. My granddaughter spent most of the time watching herself not sing.
The wife is heading over to my daughter’s today to make cookies, candy, and treats. It will be an all day affair. Three generations of girls cooking and baking. They will have a blast. Keeping my granddaughter from dumping whole bottles of sprinkles or colored sugar on every sugar cookie will be a challenge. Like every kid, she loves sprinkles.
I have a tune from an old musical floating on the edge of my consciousness that sums up my mood today: coasting along. I just can’t dredge it up. I don’t know if the song fragment is Desi singing in “The long, long trailer” or a Martin/Lewis flick, or a Crosby and Hope road adventure. It is just an undefined snippet about “cruisn’ along, singin’ a song”. Hah! The internet knows all and sees all. The song is “Side by Side”. Martin and Lewis covered it. So did Bing. That explains why both were rolling around in my brain pan.
I hope you have a great Wednesday.
December 18, 2017
Sigh
If you are here today expecting the normal fare — pithy commentary, juvenile humor, personal anecdotes, complaining, weather reports that are irrelevant unless you live here, political rants and such — you are going to be seriously disappointed. To quote Willie Wonka, “you get nothing”.
December 16, 2017
Really, it is
I knew you were wishing I would post some Christmas music. Search your feelings. You know I am right. The Force told me so.
Really, it is OK if you quit me
3:30 rolled around this morning and I felt a figurative tap on my shoulder as my old buddy insomnia decided to stop by for a visit. Last month I fought a battle with an inability to sleep, but in recent weeks I was back to semi-regular sleep patterns. Not today! I wouldn’t mind if Mr. Insomnia decided to hang out with someone else for a while. We have been intimate acquaintances for most of my life. I’m ready to move on. So here I am catching up on Interweby-type stuff. My Echo is softly playing Christmas music in an effort to force me into the mood of the season.
I spent the end of the week in the general environs of the Windy City. The drive up Thursday and back last night were uneventful. I soldiered through the normal late afternoon/early evening creeping traffic at the 290 to 294 bottleneck and along I-80 to the perpetually-under-construction interchange with I-65. The History on Fire podcast kept me entertained up and back with the four Crazy Horse episodes.
My granddaughter turns 3 today. She is the lone bright spot in an otherwise gloomy holiday season. For the first time in my life I just want Christmas to be done. I normally love this time of year. This year I just cannot get in the spirit. 2017 has been such a miserable year. Death, finances, and general malaise have combined to rob the holidays of their magic.
Ah, you didn’t come here to hear me whine. I hope not. If you did, I seriously wonder about you. I have managed to kill almost two hours goofing on the internet. Two cups of coffee and a half of a peanut butter sandwich broke up the time. This pathetic post took far longer than my usual ten minutes to compose and peck out on the keyboard. Too bad the effort is not reflected in the results. I’ve said it before, you get what you pay for around here.
Enjoy your Saturday, I’m going to try and read myself back to sleep here in my old comfy recliner.
I spent the end of the week in the general environs of the Windy City. The drive up Thursday and back last night were uneventful. I soldiered through the normal late afternoon/early evening creeping traffic at the 290 to 294 bottleneck and along I-80 to the perpetually-under-construction interchange with I-65. The History on Fire podcast kept me entertained up and back with the four Crazy Horse episodes.
My granddaughter turns 3 today. She is the lone bright spot in an otherwise gloomy holiday season. For the first time in my life I just want Christmas to be done. I normally love this time of year. This year I just cannot get in the spirit. 2017 has been such a miserable year. Death, finances, and general malaise have combined to rob the holidays of their magic.
Ah, you didn’t come here to hear me whine. I hope not. If you did, I seriously wonder about you. I have managed to kill almost two hours goofing on the internet. Two cups of coffee and a half of a peanut butter sandwich broke up the time. This pathetic post took far longer than my usual ten minutes to compose and peck out on the keyboard. Too bad the effort is not reflected in the results. I’ve said it before, you get what you pay for around here.
Enjoy your Saturday, I’m going to try and read myself back to sleep here in my old comfy recliner.
December 14, 2017
Office Christmas Party
The raging winds have finally died down here at the old homestead. The whole house was groaning and creaking last night as old Boreas did his thing. It is still seasonably cold, but the big willow out back has ceased to imitate the Whomping Willow of Harry Potter fame. The sun is rising in dull pink and gray hues out my office window. Unfortunately, the privacy fence that surround my back yard prevented all of that wind from dispersing the layer of damp, soggy leaves that still carpets the ground.
I’m off to the corporate office later today. The big office Christmas Luncheon is scheduled for the morrow and a failure to make an appearance would be noticed when I am one of 15 employees.
The local remote location will probably hold its own Holiday Extravaganza next Friday afternoon. Heck, those festivities may last all day. Since I am the sole employee at this sales office and that location is a spare bedroom in my house, I can just play it by ear. If I have a few drinks and pinch the office cleaning girl on the rear and make a few lewd comments, she won’t mind. She’s my wife. She will probably give me ‘that’ look though. I’m used to her mild disapproval.
I’m off to the corporate office later today. The big office Christmas Luncheon is scheduled for the morrow and a failure to make an appearance would be noticed when I am one of 15 employees.
The local remote location will probably hold its own Holiday Extravaganza next Friday afternoon. Heck, those festivities may last all day. Since I am the sole employee at this sales office and that location is a spare bedroom in my house, I can just play it by ear. If I have a few drinks and pinch the office cleaning girl on the rear and make a few lewd comments, she won’t mind. She’s my wife. She will probably give me ‘that’ look though. I’m used to her mild disapproval.
December 13, 2017
Out of excuses
Now what is Al “I will resign maybe, someday” Franken going to do? He was counting on Roy Moore to provide cover so he could stay in office. His “I’m not as bad as that guy” position is now moot. I have this image of Franken staring at a mirror last night mumbling “I’m valuable, people love me, I’m funny” repeatedly.
In all honesty, I am sure Franken is not even close to being the biggest turd in Congress. In fact, his antics are probably pretty mild in comparison. Grabbing a woman’s tush while taking a picture is juvenile, crude and certainly slap-worthy. I’d bet if one of those women had slapped him or their man punched him in the nose, Al “Fast hands” Franken would have stopped. I’m sure he thought he was being funny. That in no way excuses or condones his gropes, gooses, and grabs. Even an eight year-old knows better.
The whole situation brings to mind a sentiment I have long held regarding the political class; namely, is this really the best we can do? My disgust with everything Washington and both political parties increases every day.
In all honesty, I am sure Franken is not even close to being the biggest turd in Congress. In fact, his antics are probably pretty mild in comparison. Grabbing a woman’s tush while taking a picture is juvenile, crude and certainly slap-worthy. I’d bet if one of those women had slapped him or their man punched him in the nose, Al “Fast hands” Franken would have stopped. I’m sure he thought he was being funny. That in no way excuses or condones his gropes, gooses, and grabs. Even an eight year-old knows better.
The whole situation brings to mind a sentiment I have long held regarding the political class; namely, is this really the best we can do? My disgust with everything Washington and both political parties increases every day.
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