Dell Sucks

Monday evening my wife came home from work and checked the online bank balance. She knows I have a history of forgetting to mention debits to her on occasion. Man was she surprised to see the account overdrawn. The culprit was a mysterious charge from Dell Computer. For more than one thousand dollars.

We have one Dell computer, a laptop I bought for my daughter when she began college. It was not my choice, the school virtually insisted on that brand and offered a steep discount to encourage the purchase. The computer lived up to my expectations and is a piece of junk (the keys keep falling off, among other problems). Imagine my surprise when one was billed to my debit card. We did a quick check with the kids, none had inadvertently ordered or even been to the Dell website.

The wife called Dell, I called the bank. The bank said since the debit was still in pending, we should contact Dell, but they could do nothing until the charge became "official". The wife waited on hold with Dell for nearly twenty minutes and gave up. I called back. After nearly 20 minutes on hold I finally spoke to an Indian lady who while helpful said she would investigate and I should hear back shortly. She agreed I had no orders placed. This was around 5:15 pm. For me 'shortly' means within and hour or so.

Tuesday morning I had no resolution via email or phone call. I called the bank, they would not reverse the charges, but told me how Dell could fax the info to them and the account would be cleared. The banker was nice but explained that they could not reverse the charges in case I was trying to commit fraud. Made sense to me.

I called Dell. I was on hold for about 15 minutes and talked to a man from India. He confirmed I had no orders but told me the fraud department had to fix my issue and they would get back to me in 24 to 48 business hours (re: 3-6 days). I explained that was unacceptable, the bank was holding my money and I needed the account cleared today. We spoke in circles for quite a while before I demanded his supervisor. I held for more than 20 minutes to be told only the fraud department could help me. I asked for the fraud department. She told me she could not connect me. I told her to look it up in the directory. She said it did not exist. I pointed out the stupidity of telling me to contact a mysterious department. She explained that they would call me in 24 to 48 business hours. I became rather irate at this point and explained it all again. This conversation went on with various employees, all Indians, for the next 4 hours. Most of that time was spent on hold. The wife spent and additional 2-1/2 hours on the phone, same conversation, same result. Between us, we spoke to more than 12 individuals, filed three case histories and spent 6-1/2 hours on the phone, and I used a vacation day. To no avail.

At Dell, when they make a mistake, or you are the victim of fraud, you can only be helped by one department. That department has no fax, no phone number, and can only be contacted via e-mail by Dell Customer Service employees. The mysterious fraud department will contact you at the appropriate time. Too bad if you are a victim of ID theft, too bad they have frozen your bank account, too fucking bad.

At about 8:30 someone called from the fraud department told my wife the order was cancelled, we would get a refund in seven to ten DAYS and not to worry. He would not say if it was a Dell problem, ID Theft, anything -- only "I cannot comment on that". When my wife pointed out we cannot wait ten days for our money. She asked him to fax a letter to the bank. He said they do not have a fax and hung up. She tried the callback feature but got the phone mail hell and finally the usual: "You cannot contact the fraud department..." She gave up and spent a good part of the night in tears.

Today I am off to file a police report for ID Theft and cancel my debit card. I hope that will convince the bank to release the pending $1030.93 from my checking account. I will then have more than $800 to pay for the graduation food we ordered and my son's graduation gift. If that does not work, I am fucked. We committed to the deli for food we cannot pay for. I have already left an Email to the one contact I have at Dell to get the Fraud Department to call me back. I will then call the Indiana Attorney General Consumer Protect Division to see if they can help. This is all too much, a company charges your bank account for more than one thousand dollars and says sorry we will fix it in a week to ten days? Am I the only one this would cause a problem? Am I being unreasonable here?

Here is what I am asking from you, my loyal readers -- do not ever purchase a Dell product of any kind. Tell your friends, tell your family, tell strangers on the street that Dell Customer Service is the worst in the industry, and ranks only with the guy selling siding from his rusted pickup, or the guy selling meat from a truck in reliability and response after the sale. Tell them Dell products suck, and their terrible Asian Customer Service and Fraud Departments will put you on hold for hours and never ever call you back.

FUCK YOU DELL COMPUTERS.

edit: A big thanks to the fine folks at my local bank branch who found a way to get me cash. They also are replacing my debit card and have instituted their own investigation. The police basically told me good luck.