I probably shouldn't write this post

Those of you who do not have the good fortune to reside in the great state of Indiana may not be aware the entire state is NOT farms and flatland.  There are things to do here that do not involve a giant oval raceway and fast cars. The southern third of the state is hilly and often covered in forest.  In fact, the terrain is very similar to what you would find in much of Kentucky. One of the centers of the tourist area in these hills is Brown County.  There is a large State Park there and the community of Nashville is known for its arts and craft boutiques. I think it is safe to opine that the place attracts middle aged women like ants to a picnic.Especially in the fall.

So yesterday I found myself wandering around the streets and alleyways of Nashville with my wife. I did not really mind.  It was pleasant sweatshirt weather and the sky was a brilliant Prussian Blue for those of you who were fortunate to have the giant 64 count box of Crayolas as a kid. As the wife perused the various shops and stores I stood or sat if a place was available.  I watched the people. Apparently boots are the fashion this year.  I saw boots of all kinds. Short ones, high ones, leather and fur, some with heels others flat like moccasins. A significant portion of the female sex sported boots of some kind -- both the young in age and young at heart.

Ladies, here is some advice from the other side of the aisle. If you stand before a mirror and notice the mound of your boobs swells somewhere south of the bottom of your ribcage you probably definitely need to invest in a good brassiere. Purple hair is not natural. If you have traveled the Earth for anywhere close to a half of a century, it does not matter how tight your jeans are, how firm your breasties, how much you work out, how high you wear your heels, dressing like an 18 year old makes you look silly and you are not fooling anyone.

I am not the most handsome guy to enter the room -- ever. I doubt another human has  had a wet moaning fantasy about me, including my wife. In days past I toted a spare tire about my middle. I have faults, OK?

That said, I saw this woman she had short blond hair. I imagine her dark roots were courtesy a trained cosmetologist. She had new white running shoes branded Nike. Her jogging suit matched the trim on the shoes. The only problem was her rear end resembled a pair of bowling balls coming up the return chute at the same time. I thought a pair of raccoons were wrestling under that navy blue nylon every time she took a step. Her girth strained the zipper of the jacket which she could only zip a few inches. Further zipped  and I am confident her upper body would rip the strained fabric like an angry Incredible Hulk. If you are going to wear exercise clothes you should look like you saw a gym in the past few years. I don't care what someone weighs, it is none of my business. But even my practically non-existent fashion sense was offended by this female's attire.

As we were driving home the wife and I were discussing the various things we saw. She described a lamp she liked, I talked about various people I observed. I mentioned one guy walking by talking on his phone. "...every store is the same. I go in and it is crafts. The next one is the same crafts.  I don't get it..."

I said to my wife, I saw this one blond lady..."

She interrupted to say "The one in the track suit?"

I guess sometimes we do have some things in common after all.


PS -- If any of the people I described above was you.  Sorry, but someone had to tell you.