April 13, 2007

The one I left off the list

Otter was disappointed I left Williamsport, PA off my list of places visited, so here is the story of my only visit:

So there I was trying to be a good brother. I stop off in the 'port (Williamsport that is, home of Little League and bridges over the mighty mighty Susquehanna) to visit my one and only brother. He says, how about a beer. I tell him I am not much of a drinker, but to be sociable I would have maybe one. We go to a bar, Otter has two or three beers while I nursed my one.

We go to another bar, I have a soft drink, Otter has several beers.

We go to dinner, I have another beer, since I do not want to be a party-pooper. I do not think I finished it. Otter has several more, maybe a mixed drink too. I call my wife and read from my pocket testament while Otter makes his 5th trip to the head. I beg the waitress to cut him off. Otter becomes belligerent so we leave. I am sure he short tipped the poor girl.

We go to another and then another bar, I am lost, it is way past my bedtime. Otter and his evil girlfriend tell me they are ordering me a non-alcoholic drink -- one that is cool, fruity and refreshing. I think 'Tom Collins' or virgin daiquiri. I discover later it is a dirty martini. I only had a sip, the drink was too strong, since I was so unused to spirits of any kind. I paid the bar bill anyway, just to be brotherly. Finally Otter took me to his house, I said my prayers and slept the sleep of the truly innocent. Not used to staying up so late, my head is light and I feel groggy. I am disoriented from lack of sleep and the couch actually felt as if it were spinning.

The next day I don my suit and head north to upstate New York to meet with my customer. I do not feel well, it must have been something I ate. I had to stop several times to crap, and my hands were shaking. Man was I thirsty. I decided to buy some water, and discovered my wallet was empty, my money clip gone. "I bet I dropped my money when I was paying for Otter's massive bar bill", I said aloud. Golly I was disappointed in myself. I decided I would drive back after my meeting and ask the bartender if he found my money. Otter called and suggested I should kick the guy's ass, but that kind of violence has never been my way.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I found my money clip in my jeans pocket from the previous night. Hah, hah it was sure funny, I guess I was just really tired from keeping track of Otter. Boy, older siblings can be trying sometimes! Anyway that is the story of my trip to the 'port. That is the way it happened, I swear on my Bible.

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