October 31, 2020

Words Matter

 A woman named Jill stood up at her church’s Testimony Meeting one Sunday morning, took the microphone from one of the church ushers, and bared her soul to the enrapt congregation:

“I want to tell you about the awful accident that my husband, Jim, has suffered this past month. He was riding his Harley, lost control, ran off the highway and hit a tree. He was rushed to the hospital, and could have died, but thank the Lord, all he suffered was a broken scrotum.”

The congregation gasped in horror. The men in the congregation were obviously uneasy and writhed in their seats.

“Jim has been in terrible pain all month since the accident. He has trouble breathing. He has trouble swallowing his food. He can hardly lift anything, he’s in so much pain, and he has missed work because of it. He can’t lift our children up to hold them and give them the personal love that they need. Worst of all, we can no longer cuddle and have intimate relations. He is in constant pain, a pain so terrible that our love life has all but slipped away into oblivion. I would like to ask you all in the congregation to pray for Jim, and pray for us, that his broken scrotum will soon heal and be as good as new.

A dull murmur erupted within the congregation as the full impact of this terrible accident sank in, and the men in the congregation were visibly shaken up with the thought that, “There but for the grace of God go I.”

Then, as the murmuring settled down, a lone figure stood up in midst of the congregation, worked his way up to the pulpit, obviously in pain, adjusted the microphone to his liking, then leaned over and said to the congregation:

“My name is Jim, and I have only one word for my wife, Jill. That word is: sternum.”

October 30, 2020

Random Ramblings

Here we are, early on a Friday. Very early. I woke around 4:30 and stared at the ceiling until I got up around five. 

We have worked out things and a new furnace will be installed next week. Woot and yay! Since it is an uncomfortable fifty-nine in here right now, any warmth is a welcome prospect. It is interesting to discover in the absence of heat, just where the drafty places are in the house. Clearly, someday when things are better, we need new windows and doors. 

A worry for a far distant future. 

Halloween comes tomorrow. I expect turnout to be low here at the old homestead. Not just because of the weareallgonnadie virus. Trick or a treaters never show up at the cul-de-sac. I suppose we have had thirty or forty kids show up bag in hand total over the past seven years. Once Halloween is past us we move right into Thanksgiving and Christmas. I’m good with that. Christmas is my favorite time of the year. Christmas trees and decorations have been out for a month at work. Hallmark has kicked off the Christmas movie marathon. It is cold. Now I just need a new job by Christmas. 

Since it is somewhat of a tradition, what say we have a little music on this autumn Friday? I was going to put up some New a Wave punk. How about something more in tune with the season? Have a great Friday.

October 29, 2020

Rainy cold Thursday

 Bob, aged 92, and Mary, aged 89, were excited about their decision to get married. While out for a stroll to discuss the wedding, they passed a drug store. Bob suggested they go in.

Bob asked to speak to the pharmacist. He explained they’re about to get married, and asked, “Do you sell heart medication?”

“Of course we do,” the pharmacist replied.

“Medicine for rheumatism?”

“Definitely,” he said.

“How about Viagra?”

“Of course.”

“Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?”

“Yes, the works.”

“What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antacids?”


“Do you sell wheelchairs and walkers?”

“All speeds and sizes.”

“Good,” Bob said to the pharmacist. “We’d like to register for our wedding gifts here, please.”

October 27, 2020

lying liars

There is nothing like negativity and outright fear mongering in a political  ad. Todd Rokita is running for Attorney General of Indiana. The Democrat’s are running spots telling voters Rokita will take away their insurance and coverage for pre-existing conditions. The problem is that the Attorney General doesn’t make law. He cannot take away any insurance from anyone. He hasn’t the power. Only the legislature can create law. The whole spot is an outright lie, praying on people’s fears and lack of civic knowledge.

Whether you like hm or not, the entire campaign is a misleading lie and despicable. I won’t vote for his opponent for the outright disingenuous advertisements.

October 26, 2020

Not an original thought

With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too.

October 25, 2020

‘Cause Little Willie won’t go home

Look, I don’t know what a holla back girl even is. I do know that I put in a full day at the big box retail joint and then spent the evening eating pizza, playing cards, and laughing with our good friends. That makes for a good Saturday. 

Sunday? I have no idea what is in store beyond once again working. I’m slated for a short five hour shift today so I’ll be home early. I suggested to the wife I could make a big pan of lasagna and invite all of the available kids over for dinner. She seemed non-committal. Of course the oldest boy lives in another state and couldn’t obviously come. 

Of course it is fitting that the one Sunday I’m off early the local sports ball team is off. So it goes.

More disturbing is that the rancid MLB commissioner has stated he wants all of the odious covid rules initiated for this season to become permanent. I hate, hate, hate the Little League-like putting a runner on second to start extra innings rule, and I despise the designated hitter. Now he says he wants to outlaw defensive shifts. WTH? Maybe modern players should take the advice of Little Willie Keeler and “hit it where they ain’t”. That strategy was good enough to put Keeler in the Hall of Fame. 

In other news, I’ve received enough election junk mail to last a lifetime. And I cannot imagine the money both women have spent trying to get elected to Congress for my district. Frankly, I hope both lose. They seem unpleasant persons all-around. But then who but a power hungry jerk wants to be a politician anyway? Those same people who want to tell you what to do. I can’t imagine the boot-licking they have to do to raise enough money to get through an election. No wonder every politician from every party comes across as a swarmy, insincere, spineless toad. 

I need to grab some breakfast before I  go do my time. I have leftover biscuits and gravy from supper Friday night. Maybe I’ll heat that up. Enjoy your Sunday, amigos.

October 24, 2020

Toss out that vote

VP Mike Pence made a big show of showing up to vote early in Indianapolis yesterday. 

The problem is he doesn’t live in Indiana. He owns no property in Indiana. His listed address is the governor’s mansion, which he clearly does not occupy.

He is thus not a resident of Indiana and his vote is null and void.

October 23, 2020

Tax the Rich. You are Rich.

I got a flu shot yesterday. My shoulder is a little sore. 

Yesterday was gorgeous. Temps pushed into the low eighties. I raked some leaves, and sat on the patio and enjoyed a cigar before firing up the grill to cook some thin ribeyes to make sandwiches for supper. It is still relatively warm today. I may try to mow one more time, should the rain hold off this morning. 

My wife, who is pretty much non-political, points out just how biased the media has become. After the debate last night the local station did a “fact check” of candidates claims.  They examined something aTrump said and declared it “mostly false”. A statement by Biden was declared to b “half true”. The connotation is obvious. The wife just shook her head and said “They don’t even try to be evenhanded anymore, do they?”. 

As near as I can tell, Biden is trotting out huge old Democrat playbook. Here is pretty much his platform:

Why not? At least it is a righteous tune.

October 22, 2020

King Cnut and the problem with Thorkill Longbeard

Sunny! Warm! A great day! Lots of exclamation points! 

I may even rake some leaves today, providing they are not too wet. Or not. I shall let whim dictate my activities today.

Speaking of doing things on a whim, I have decided to grow a beard. I am sure I’ll stick with it until the beard gets to that itchy, scratchy stage about three days from now. Perhaps I’ll just let it go. I last had a beard back in college, so it will be interesting. That time I went full Amish — beard, no ‘stache. This time I’ll go for the whole thing. Unfortunately, some three decades plus since I last had facial hair,  I’m afraid the beard will be white, not dark and curly. 

There is a debate tonight. So I’ve heard. If you’re not sure which way to vote, then you should watch. If I want to watch stupid arguments I will turn in to Love it or List It.

October 21, 2020

If you’re gonna let me eat cake, I’ll take a slice of lemon

I cooked up some beef and noodles for supper last night. Since that is my favorite meal, I was a happy boy. After dinner it started in raining. It rained hard. We had thunder and lightning. It was a regular April thunderstorm in October that continued throughout the night. I always sleep well when I’m a little cold and when it is raining. Last night was both together, so I slept deeply and long. I sure didn’t want to get up when the wife’s alarm beeped me awake this morning. 

I’m covering the midday shift at the big box today. I’m back to the opening shift again for the weekend and all next week. I’m telling you now, you won’t be getting your morning dose here at the old blog next week. Brace yourself and prepare for withdrawals, unless I find the wherewithal to can a post or two. You will be OK. Take a spin down memory lane in the archives if you need to. They are located over on the right, unless I change the template in the future. Then future you might find the archives on the left. But future you knew that because you are reading this post from the archives, which means you’ve already found them...

My head hurts.

October 20, 2020


Good morning comrades. 

I’m just practicing for when the Commies Democrats take charge.

It is chilly here at the homestead. The furnace fairy still hasn’t made an appearance to put heat into our household. 

I’ve decided o use the day lilys in the flower beds for life inspiration. Two of them in particular should be emulated (one in the front flower bed, one in back). * These hardy plants show up every day, doing their thing, still putting forth their bright yellow flowers despite frost, freezing temperatures, cloud cover, and cold rain. Even still this morning, October 20, each has a little yellow flower pointing at the sky, holding out for one more warm day. The day lily, optimistic to the end. Trees have lost their leaves, the geraniums and begonias have given up. Their neighboring lilys, dormant. Not these guys — they never give up. Heck, Churchill would admire these plants.

I feel inspired.

*The wife loves day  lilys 

October 19, 2020


 It’s cold and damp today. Outside too.

I was going to serve up a political rant, but I’m just not up to it today. You will be OK without my two cents. I’m glad I’m not the on Facebook or twitter. Were I, they would be dumped as my social media like the bags of dirty diapers I haul out of here every day. If that’s where you get the majority of your news, I would look for another source.

This is sure going up late, my internet has been down for a bit.

So it goes. 

October 18, 2020

Beef or pork, that’s the question of the day

I heard a few raindrops splattering on the skylight while performing my morning abolutions. It is chilly again this morning, but not as cold as yesterday. I have the day off and my tired and sore body is thankful. The rain and cold will likely put the kibosh on leaf raking, yard maintenance or garage cleaning. I’m thankful for that too. 

I have had the opening shift at the big box all week. I don’t mind the opening shift at work. The early start means an early afternoon quitting time, but that shift involves a lot of downstocking and lifting. The regular morning guy was on vacation last week, so I was the lucky fill-in. I’m also on the opening roster a bunch in the next few weeks, including next Saturday. And that is after closing on Friday night. There is nothing like knowing you will have to be back at work a mere eight hours after you clocked out. I pray a real, decent paying job comes along soon so I can get out of retail before the holiday crush — and the bank decides they need my house and car worse than I do. All of which keeps me up at night, thus the early shift is no burden. I was awake anyway. 

You didn’t come here to read my complaints. I sure hope not anyway.

My first cup of coffee is about gone and I’ve mostly run out of words. I suppose I will refill my cup and go see what words of wisdom are written on your blog this morning. 

Have a great Sunday. 

October 17, 2020

Creating my own invitation to the re-education gulag

I saw a BLM protester speaking on the news. She said “I just want to be heard”. 

My first thought was “Isn’t that all we have heard for the past five months?”.

I guess I’ll just have to plead guilty when I’m called before the hate crime commission once Kahhhmela gets rid of old Basement Joe.

October 16, 2020

Who guides this ship?

It is a chilly 31F here at the homestead this morning. I have the day off after several opening shifts down at the big box retailer. The future schedule includes many more of those early mornings. I’m not sure what is up with that. 

I didn’t watch either town hall last night, so there will be no commentary from me on that.

 I’m a bit worried, the surrounding Blue States have imposed a quarantine on Indiana because we are extra virousy, I guess. I have an interview next week with a potential real job. The interviewer is coming from out of state. I hope he doesn’t cancel because he will have to quarantine for two weeks when he goes home. 

So how does one State bar citizens from another from freely engaging in interstate commerce? Can a truck driver who stops in Terre Haute not deliver in Marshall? Can the folks from Da Region not go to work in Cook County? 

This is what the executive orders and powers spawned by the pandemic has wrought. A little power corrupts into a lot of assumed power and your Freedom is eroded away. There may be good reasons, but Liberty should always be paramount in any government decision. As the saying goes, Hell is paved with good intentions. 

That’s it, I have dangerously encroached  upon my No Politics Friday policy. See how easy it is to overstep? 

Stop it, Joe

How about some Friday music to lighten the mod?  Let’s mellow out a bit. Enjoy you day.

October 14, 2020

SCOTUS, Court Packing, and the three Branches of Government

I know you don’t read links. Do your self a favor and read Fuzzy’s well thought out piece on the notion of Court packing. READ IT HERE.

I think he is on to something. 

Hey, where did everyone go?

Nine. Freaking NINE? That’s how many read my last post. Nine people. I know old jokes aren’t your thing, but I routinely garner a few more hits than that on any given day. 

Unfortunately content isn’t likely to improve over the next days either. I’ve the opening shift at the big box yesterday, today, tomorrow, Saturday, and Monday. Reporting to work at 5:30 or 6:00 in the ayem doesn’t lend itself to publishing quality blog posts. 

I would think you would check in out of sense of familiarity, routine, or even obligation. 

Maybe it’s a sign to put this thing out of its misery. I got nine hits on my second or third blog post back in 2005.  I guess you are all off watching the SCOTUS hearings or maybe Peppa Pig. I don’t know.

Oh well, so it goes. I hope all nine of you have a great day.

October 13, 2020

An oldie, but a classic

 A guy was at a bar and needed to fart.

He controlled himself for almost half an hour and couldn’t leave the bar because he didn’t want to lose his favorite spot.

So he decided to turn up the music so loud so that he could just go for it and timed his farts to the beat of the music.

After he relieved himself he looked up to see everyone staring at him.

Then he realized that he was listening to his iPod.

October 12, 2020

October 11, 2020

Sunday Sermon

Shhhh. Don’t  wake the baby. 

The grandgirls spent the night last night. The little one is prone to waking early, so try to be a little quiet, will ya? 

It looks to be a beautiful day today. While it is foggy this morning, temps are slated to reach the upper  seventies this afternoon. The oldest granddaughter has her last soccer game today, and other than that I have no plans. Maybe I’ll clean out the garage, maybe not. 

I have to admit I’m glad soccer is done. I find the sport agonizingly boring whether you are watching five year olds, high schoolers, or pros. You say I don’t appreciate the beauty. I say I don’t like watching paint dry either. Give me the violence of American football or the mathematical precision and skill of baseball any time. Try hitting a 98 mph cutting fastball or a curve that breaks about eight inches with a chunk of wood and then tell me about the difficulties involved in kicking a ball, soccerites. 

If we have to watch people kicking a ball, I would rather watch a game of kickball with one of those red rubber balls from the playground than suffer through an hour and a half of a professional “football” game. Oh, and after 90 minutes we will just call it a 0-0 tie. Are you freaking kidding me?

I deleted a long political rant relating soccer and leftism here. 

No I didn’t. I started a sentence with every intention of going there but I just don’t have the desire to ruin a nice day with politics. You can draw your own conclusions.on soccer and liberalism. Or not. I’m good with that. 

I hear the little one stirring. I guess that means Peppa Pig will soon be on the TV. 

Have a great Sunday. I intend to.

October 10, 2020

Do, do, do, looking out my back door

Rest assured, the coffee situation has been rectified. The el cheapo Target brand is steaming in my mug as I type. I have long opined that if the fancy coffee places or craft breweries that are all the rage depended upon me for success none would exist. I like plain black coffee and ordinary American lager beer. For the hoi poloi my tastes may be rather pedestrian, but you should have discerned long ago I am about the basics, not the pretense. But if you like a double caramel Frappuccino or an extra-hopped IPA, good for you. Enjoy. We don’t have to agree. 

It looks to be a gorgeous day here in Hoosierdom. I have yard work to do. The garage needs cleaned out in preparation for winter. I might find a few minutes to sit on the patio and ponder my blessings and read a bit in the sunshine. Nothing stirs your soul like watching the leaves turn.

Soon those leaves will be on the ground crying for a rake. For now, I can enjoy their beauty. 

Have a great Saturday, mon amis.

October 9, 2020


Another  Friday is upon us. I woke early only discover I'm out of coffee. How did that happen? Maybe I’ll head to the donut shop later and grab a cup of Joe with a jelly donut. Don’t worry, my blood sugars are a low 75 this morning, I can indulge.

Stick that into your Friday brain, amigos. 

You are welcome.

The wife loves her a pina colada. She doesn’t indulge often, but it is her drink of choice, especially on vacation. I don’t mind them either, if I going to have an umbrella drink.

Enjoy your day.

October 8, 2020

And you thought I wouldn’t say anything

As near as I can tell from the two debates the only two things we know about the Biden/Harris platform is that They will raise taxes on Day One and they won’t be Trump. 

Trump handled Coronavirus wrong, but neither articulates what they would hav done differently. 

They refuse to answer if they support an unprecedented packing of the Supreme Court (thus they do support the proposal, but know the voters hate the idea). 

They may or may not support the Green New Deal, depending on the audience. 

They will get tough on China, except remove Trump’s trade policies. Um, OK. 

They won’t infringe on your Second Amendment rights except banning guns, ammunition, and promising to confiscate scary plastic rifles. 

They won’t encroach on your First Amendment rights except banning speech they find offensive. 

They want to know if Trump will respect the outcome of the election while promising to litigate, litigate, litigate until they are declared the winner. 

And they will raise taxes. Of that there is no doubt. They have promised.

If I was in charge, I’d spend the next debate asking Biden if he supported packing the Court,  no matter what the question. Health care — “ Do you support packing the Court?” . Corona virus — “Do you support packing the Court?”. Do the ridiculous virtual thing, just eliminate Sleepy Joes ability to debate using cue cards; just focus on packing the court until Creepy Joe answers the question. 

All we have to fear are bears

Eddie Van Halen died. The world has lost a great musician. I will admit I wasn’t a big Van Halen fan. It isn’t like I switch off the radio when Jump comes on, but I am pretty sure I never owned any of their music. That in no way means I don’t appreciate Eddie’s guitar prowess, it was more my dislike of David Lee Roth. And probably a little jealousy that Eddie scored Valerie Bertinelli.

I had to get some new glasses. I’m back to bifocals. Sigh. The Doctor doesn’t know why my vision is deteriorating. The long distance prescription didn’t change, it was just that  couldn’t read stuff. I’m relearning how to use bifocals. I got my first pair shortly after I started this blog. Lost the need after my eye surgeries in 2016, and now need them again. The doctor said there is no indication the Fuchs Dystrophy is returning. There is that. 

Instead of complaining about needing glasses and bifocals, I’m choosing to remember that without cornea transplants I would be completely blind right now. 

After tacos for supper last night I sat on the porch enjoying a pleasant fall evening. I read a few sentences in the Stephen Coonts novel I’m reading between watching the sun sink behind the neighbor’s house and listening to a cricket’s plaintive cry for insect nookie. As I watched night slowly come to the October sky I reflected that I’m truly blessed. 

October 7, 2020

Joe Pres

In less than a week Trump has committed enough political faux pas to probably cost him the election. First was the idiotic joy ride around the hospital. Why? If you are sick, stay away, Typhoid Trump. So what if the GenPop wasn’t in infection range, your disregard for Secret Security folks, doctors, etc. shows a remarkable degree of selfishness.

Worse was walking away from any chance to offer additional stimulus relief to the average voter for Covid. Up to this point Trump could point at the Democrats and blame them for lack of a stimulus. Now he has walked away.  Such negotiation tactics work in the business world, but only if the other party has an interest in making a deal. Nancy doesn’t. Now the Dems can point at Trump and honestly say it was the President who walked away, doesn’t care about the average worker. 

I know the President doesn’t like politics, but this move was astoundingly politically stupid. Especially in an election year. 

And it just might cost him the election.

Get ready for higher taxes, economically crushing green policies, more regulations, gun control, and higher gas prices as drilling and fracking are ground to a halt. That’s what a Biden presidency will bring us and Trump just helped make that happen. 

October 5, 2020

Like water on a duck’s back

 I’m alive. Freezing, but alive nonetheless. Temps reached into the thirties last night, dropping the temperature in the house to a chilly 63. Sigh. I guess that is why my closet contains sweatshirts. Things are supposed to warm up after today.

We had a couple of steaks in the freezer we scored on sale a few months ago. They were rib steaks every bit of an inch thick. I got off work at seven last night, came home and fired up the gas grill. The wife had baked up some spuds and some microwaved frozen broccoli rounded out a fine Sunday meal, albeit a late one. By  the time I cleaned up the mess and a few other odds and ends it was almost nine when I settled in to watch a recording of the football game. 

Somehow I had avoided all references to the score or outcome and I was prepared to relax on the couch. Except the DVR failed to record the game. 

Of course it was user error. There is no other answer.

WTH Trump? What’s with the joyride? If you are sick, stay in. Now you have exposed the Secret Service agents and the driver at the very least. 

It is Monday enjoy your day.

October 3, 2020

@#*$&$#@* Cubs

 I expected no less. The bats have been in the clubhouse for a month. 

I’m off to work. I’ve the early shift at the big box. 

October 2, 2020

Answer the question Joe

Yeah, yeah. I haven’t forgotten about the old blog. I’ve been busy. Doing what I couldn’t say. It’s not anything secret, it’s just I have no idea where the time is going. 

The Cubs staved off elimination yesterday, not through finding bats that actually work, but through inclimate weather. We shall see today. I ripped down the fall garden flag the wife had put up over the weekend and put my Cubs flag back up. My neighbor even texted me Wednesday night to ask why I took down my flag and caused the team to lose. I guess I will don my Cubs jersey today as a failsafe. Everyone knows the Northsiders win or lose based on my wardrobe and yard decorations. 

I read that this weekend marks the 95th anniversary of the Grand Old Opry. How about a little classic country for Friday music? 

Well too bad, I’ll play some old rock music next week.

October 1, 2020

Thought of the day

 My wife is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters... But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly it’s "we need to talk".

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