April 30, 2009

Liars and Hypocrites ( Yes I saw Godspell)

The liberal Left has long harped on the Separation of Church and State. You can read this position almost daily in the left-leaning blogs. Here is an example. Sadly, no such "wall" exists in the Constitution. Anyone who claims it does needs to head back to school and study Ninth Grade Civics. What the heck, in the spirit of improving education, I will give the complete Federal Position on the matter of Religion and Government:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;

In other words, the Federal Government cannot interfere in religion, either way, condoning or condemning. You can find that position in The First Amendment to the Constitution. Those sixteen words are the complete authority. The Federal Government cannot make an official religion, and they can't stop you from practicing whatever you desire.

In the spirit of the new Bi-partisan Obamafied US of A, ignore everything leading up to this sentence. After all, we are told the Old Conservative is dead. The Dems are large and in charge now and we better get with the program. OK.

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg has long posited that the SCOTUS should take International law into consideration when making rulings. The same liberal viewpoint also is emphatic that there should exist a clear definitive wall of separation between Church and State.

I say let's go with that position. That means we cannot use taxpayer funds to put foot baths in the public restrooms at airports to accommodate those adherents of Islam. That means if the law says you need a picture on your driver's licence, then you do it sans bhurka. That means churches pay taxes. That means we need to bring International Law into consideration.

A court in the UK has ruled Environmentalism is a religion. As such, I demand we adhere to that stance.

This means immediately any Federal Laws, acts, or statutes that legislate environmental regulations must be stricken from the record. No CAFE standards, no bans on off-shore drilling. Any regulation put forth by the EPA is void. No more preserves for spotted owls, snail darters, or imaginary wetlands. There can no longer be limits on sulpher emmisions. Fire up the furnaces in those coal powered generators. No Federal Funds can be spent on "green" initiatives: no solar, no electric car, no windmills. The Federal Government has no place in Religion, remember?

Take heart my earth-loving friends. All is not lost. You see, I believe in the Constitution. Those pesky Ninth and Tenth Amendments can save you. Put your "green" initiatives before your State Legislatures! The separation thingy is a Federal Issue.

Oh, never mind. Those same Liberal Justices that found a "right" to abortion also gutted the Ninth and Tenth Amendments through the Commerce Clause and mis-applying the Fourteenth Amendment.

Sucks to be you.

Random Thursday Ramblings

Can we have a frank discussion? There are wants and there are needs. Sometimes the two intertwine. Here are some of my wants and/or needs:

a new car
a bigger/better house
better cars for my kids
a super-large flat screen TV
The HI-Def package including all of the movie channels for said TV
new Computer
new smart phone
a bigger/better GPS
a motorcycle
a really nice vacation
my humidor replaced and stocked with premium puros

You get the idea. Let us take a look at item one. A new car. My vehicle has 142,000 miles on it. It is starting to use oil. That means a ring job is in the future. I cannot afford a new car right now. I will have to find the money to have the engine worked on, being an automotive ignoramus. Eventually, this year or next, perhaps, if I am lucky, the following year I will have to replace the car. I will do it when I can afford to.

And that, my friends, is the message you should gleen from today's post. Sometimes you have wants. Sometimes you have needs. Sometimes you have to ignore both just to get by. You need to find a compromise. Our current Socialist-in Chief at the White the House seems unable to grasp this truism.

Perhaps we need health care reform. It could be we need to invest in green energy. Maybe we need to save the auto companies. These programs could be wants and maybe they are needs. It does not matter. The bottom line is we are already spending the hard earned money of our kids and grandkids and their kids. We cannot afford them in any case. The Government at all levels must cut spending.

Enough already. You can only tax the "rich" so many ways. Soon you are taxing us all. If you have a job, you will be classified as "rich". Just wait until the economy picks back up. The inflation of the Carter years will seem like the salad days.

Already nearly half of my pay goes to one form of taxes or another. We will just have to get by. Ignore the wants and examine the needs to see what is the minimum to get by. I have to do it.You have to do it. Why can't my local, state and federal governments give it a try?

April 29, 2009

Dining with the Hoosierboy

I filled up my favorite Peter Pan plastic cup with milk and added a tablespoon or two of Hershey's syrup. After a brisk stir I had the perfect accompaniment to my Stouffer's Mac and Cheese luncheon. Yes, it is good to be me.

Since I was bored, I spent my whole lunch hour marching around like Henry Hawk from the Warner Brothers Cartoons: chest out, rear back arms a-swingin'. A brassy Dhhn dhhn dhhn music in my brainpan accompanied every step. Maybe the image of Popeye going to kick Brutus' ass better gives the idea. You should have been here, it was a hoot. Try it. You cannot be in a bad mood when you are marching purposely like a cartoon character.

Maybe, just maybe, I am going nuts. Perhaps it is Mad Cow disease. Do you remember when that was the big panic-scare-were-all-gonna-die health issue? You know, the swine flu of its day. What is really weird was we were hit with the big swine flu scare already, back in the 1970's. Hey! -- No fair recycling baseless panics! Maybe that is why The Obama and the willing news media are jumping on the let us call it A1N1H37G or some other nonsensical name. We do not want to offend the mooselimbs with the idea they may be diseased with a pork product! BTW, the first "American" death from the not-to-be=named flu was in fact a Mexican toddler who came to the USA to get treatment for his sooper sekrit (do not call it swine) flu.

The commercial that most irritates me is currently on the radio. This couple is in a bar bitching about the smoke. She coughs and asks why the place is not smoke free. He says he does not know, but imagine all the people that are dying right before their eyes. Think of the chemicals. Let's go somewhere else, not choked with smoke says he. The commercial ends with a claim about the millions hundreds dozens untold number of people who die in Indianapolis from second-hand smoke.

Let me be clear. I smoke an occasional cigar. Outside. At home. I do not and never have smoked cigarettes. In fact I find them annoying. But if person owns his own business, he should be the one to determine if a legal substance can be used there. If you do not like smoke filled restaurants -- do not go there. To be honest, I find huge doses of cologne and perfume far, far more disgusting than cigarette smoke. How about we ban those?

It is cloudy and cool today. Back to the jeans after wearing shorts the past several days. Happy hump day interwebz buddies.

Dude, where is my car?

The alarm came on this morning at the appointed hour -- 6:11 am. The voices of the radio jokesters brought me from a deep sleep. Rarely have I been in so deep a slumber. It took at least a half an hour to clear the cobwebs from my mind.

I just finished a couple slices of white toast, slathered in butter and apricot preserves. I also had a handful of last night's leftover popcorn. The true breakfast of champions.

As I read the news this morning, it occurs to me the single largest factor in the financial woes of the automakers is the contract with the UAW (in a quick aside I should say I do not blame the workers for asking as much as I blame the Management for agreeing to the bloated contracts). Anyhoo, it looks like the massive donations to the Democrat party have paid off, the UAW now owns the car companies along with the Government. The UAW worker keeps his job and loses not a penny.

I am excited, the last time a Government owned a car company it was Communism's monument to central planning -- the Trabant. The car of the masses. The Trabant had a two-stroke engine (think lawnmower) and was made with a composite material filled with cotton fibers. Sometimes, it is reported, the manufacturer used cardboard when steel was short. Here is some of the high-quality manufacturing used in the Trabant:

This is the kind of manufacturing you can expect when the car companies are owned by the same people who run the BMV and the IRS.

I can't wait to own the new General Motors UAW Trabant Malibu Obamamobile:

Big Dick Nails It

Do yourself a favor and skip over to Big Dick's Place and read what he has written today.

Here is a link

April 28, 2009

Going for The One

I am pretty articulate too when I read everything. I would laugh my ass off if there were a computer glitch or power outage tonight so The One had to actually speak from the cuff.

I always said Arlen Specter was a douchebag.

Over at the Bash Brothers

Josh and Dave over at We are Superior to Everyone continue to show us mere mortals everything that is wrong in the world.

To summarize, if you are the Alabama Legislature, Hoosiers, or less than fervent supporters of the current First Lady, you are not up to snuff. In fact, they infer that if you do not kiss the ground touched by Mrs. Obama's dirty Keds you just may be retarded. I should add, after reading their well-reasoned diatribes, for the first time I am really proud of my country.

Today the arbiters of taste and correctness take on the world of Major League Baseball Blogs. Apparently, people with less knowledge than the Professors over at Old Men actually had the gall to comment at a public forum at MLblogs.com:
So at first, everything seemed great. We were getting hot scoops from completely random people with no real baseball knowledge or insight

When they ran across something they could not countenance, a Jew tracking fellow Jews in baseball. As Sam and Dave Josh and Drake Josh and Dave describe it:
a nonsensical compilation of everything all the Jews in Major League Baseball did on the diamond the day before.

Once again they have searched high and low to find a blog and offer their uninvited criticism. I know I am so much better off knowing that they think writing a blog about the interests of the author is a waste of time.

I hope these geniuses can take some time and tell me what blogs over there on the right in the blogroll are worthy of their shit stained thumbs up.

Maybe, they could, in their spare time, offer some criticism of the lame-brains in the White House ( It wasn't Michelle!) who thought it was a good idea to fly airliners at low level over NY City. The Obama must have good pics of Air Force One for his scrapbook, doncha know!

There is your update for today on who does not make the grade according to Dave and Josh.

April 27, 2009

I need your help, and this time I am serious

Help me here. After you read the previous post, did you get that the whole thing was written tongue-in-cheek or was I too obtuse?

You see the writer of a liberal blog was not sure if it was a gag or not. Help me out by voting in the poll over to the right.

In the meantime, according to my new liberal blogging buddy, we should apply the following logic:

1. If you did not vote for President Obama, you are stupid.
2. If you question President Obama's hypocrisy then:
a) The previous guys were far,far worse, so you are stupid
b) You are stupid
3. If you are from Indiana you are stupid
4. If you are from Alabama you are stupid
5. If you are not an ardent supporter of Michelle Obama you are retarded
6. If you are veteran we should be worried about you as a terrorist
7. Individuals should get on a budget and not overspend, but it is OK for the Government to spend trillions it does not have.

So in the interest of fairness I will type this real slow so that you can get it, old man. The preceding post was a gag. It may not have been funny, but I am willing to bet most of my readers knew I was not really creating a Dandelion Preserve.

A new environemntal movement

Yesterday was a beautiful day. As I was enjoying the sunshine it occurred to me I might not be as accepting of the "green" movement as I should. So, beginning today, I am creating a new initiative. I will not actively solicit contributions. You will not see me hosting infomercials or "walks" or star studded fundraisers. There will be no ribbons, car magnets or rubber bracelets. This will be a quiet protest to save a species. Join in as you see fit.

Sometimes man can be cruel. We have hunted the passenger pigeon and the sea cow to extinction. Massive herds of sperm whales no longer frolic in the ocean waves. Pandas, gorillas and giant squid are nearly extinct. The mighty grizzly once roamed the continent. The Sasquatch has not been seen in years. Most of us have never seen a Broom's pygmy possum or a giant California condor in the wild. No more are the jackalope or unicorn. Siberian Tigers and snow leopards are but few. Why even the northern Hairy-nosed Wombat and the Hawaiian Crow are on the endangered list.

Through conservancy, the American bison, bald eagle and even that terrifying killer and eater of young babes going to visit gramma, the wolf, all have a new lease on life. We are trying to save the last vestiges of the Amazon rain forest, even though it harbors deadly snakes.

Right here in Indiana there are more than 25 species of plants and animals that are considered endangered source. The list includes the Indiana Bat, the white catspaw,the copperbelly watersnake (good riddance) and the piping plover. Endangered plants include Mead's milkweed and the running buffalo clover.

Yet there is killing of certain plants going on right now in our country on a scale you cannot imagine. We are killing this plant by the millions. It is happening in your State, your city, your town, and perhaps in your neighborhood. I am talking about the Dandelion, natures little yellow ray of sunshine. This harmless little beauty springs up in your yard every spring, covering those nasty bare spots in your grass. Dandelions are a yellow carpet of softness. We marvel at the butterfly as it changes from a slimy caterpillar, yet we do not notice the dandelions change from yellow happiness to white cotton ball!

I know, dandelions are not as cute as a panda or as sexy as a koala (neither are even bears!). We worry about saving the tigers, but no one gives a fig about the plant worlds lion -- the Dandelion! That is why starting today I am creating the Hoosierboy Dandelion Preserve. Located right here on my own property the HDP will allow dandelions to live in their natural habitat among the crabgrass and wild violets.

Why should we save the dandelion? I will tell you. There is a lot of talk that certain man-made chemicals are destroying the environment. According to renowned scientists like Al Gore, if we do not move quickly the inhabitants of certain secret places and all polar bears (they are bears) will drown because the oceans will rise and we will all live in a new global-sized Sahara desert. I am told that plants, through a mysterious process, convert evil CO2 into oxygen! And get this --people and baby seals and tigers and whales all need oxygen to live. Save the dandelion and save your grandma. Save a baby kitten. Save a puppy. Do it for the children. Do it for the Iberian Lynx.

Help me in this fight to save the dandelion. Do you know the murder of this plant is so widespread there are even commercials on how to do it? There are even certain special chemicals marketed to help the murderers with their task? There are even people that brag there are no dandelions in their neighborhood. And some people try to claim bigotry is dead with the election of the all-knowing all wonderful messiah junior, one B Obama. I cry nay. As long as there are killings of dandelions I say hate exists.

I am still trying to gather evidence, but it is my firm belief the Final Plan to destroy the dandelion is a Right Wing Conspiracy. Follow me here. Conservatives live for the most part in rural areas and red states, while democrats and liberals inhabit the big cities and towns. Who is more likely to have a large yard? Who is more likely to frequent golf courses? Who is more likely to buy expensive killing chemicals to wipe out the fuzzy dandelion, natures happy pill? That is right -- the evil rich white guy conservative. I bet Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck have nice, dandelion free lawns.

Do not be part of the conspiracy. Throw off those sheep's clothes and join with me. Save the dandelion. Do it for the yellow and the white.

April 26, 2009

Mixed up and jumbled

Man, am I sore. We moved my daughter from her crappy college house yesterday. Being a nice guy, and since I already had the U-Haul, I agreed to also move her roommate's larger pieces to the place to which she was moving since it was on the way. Of course, her bedroom was upstairs. I have jello legs this morning.

My daughter did not move home. She moved in with her boyfriend of four years. I am not sure how I feel about that. While we were moving, I started to make a joke, and let it go. We were hauling her mattress up the stairs (the stairs again) and she directed we just lean the bed against the wall until she could get the spare (guest) bedroom into shape. I was sorely tempted to ask her "but isn't this where you are sleeping?" I decided embarrassing her was not worth it.

Her boyfriend has a very nice job and a very nice house. It is way nicer than mine. In a much nicer neighborhood. I have to tell you I really like this guy, in spite of all my early efforts not to. I bet Dads with daughters can relate. But it is my little girl. I am pretty sure they will get engaged and married soon, and it is not like she just met the guy. I would be the worst hypocrite if I really complained, I had premarital sex too (but only once or twice). That is my version anyway. I think I will adopt the same attitude regarding my daughter as I did my parents. Denial. Or if all else fails I am sure if she does have sex, it is infrequent and she does not enjoy it. I have to cling to something here.

So now my little girl has officially moved from home. My oldest boy is staying at college to work this summer and will move into an apartment with friends in a few weeks. With him I can still have the illusion he lives here. Still, this house which seemed too small is getting bigger by the minute.

I started this piece O'crap blog shortly before she graduated high school. I wrote this Ode in one of my earliest posts. I am so happy she is starting a new life, yet I am worried my tears will short the keyboard. I am not one to talk about my feelings, heck I never even think about them. I do know I am mixed up today.

And sore. I am really, really sore.

April 25, 2009

Hey You

It is nice outside. It is Saturday. What are you doing surfing the net? Get off the copmputer now.

April 24, 2009

Weird Shit

I have gray hair. It does not bother me, I am old enough to have it. Most of my grey is on the sides of my head, above my ears and in the back. That part is almost all gray. The top is still dark with gray mixed in. The weird part is there is a clear line where the dark and gray meet. It is exactly where my Cubs hat ends and the visible hair is. It looks like I have a really bad wig, or maybe someone put a bowl on my head and dyed the lower exposed part gray. Weird. You can really see it when my hair is short. For the record, my hair is the same length all over.

Is that freaky or what?


It is Friday. The weather is supposed to be wonderful today -- highs in the 80s and sunny. It was already 71 at 6:00 am.

Things are so boring around here right now, it is a wonder any of you bother to stop by. I am down to reporting on the weather and what I ate for lunch.

This week I used lyrics from whatever song was either playing on my iPod or in my head when I wrote most of the posts. Can you identify the songs and artists? No fair using google or any other search engine.

April 23, 2009

So when youre near me, darling can't you hear me S.O.S.?

I stayed in the house most of yesterday. I made a quick trip to take a game my son rented to the video store and to get the stuff to make tacos.

The reason I stayed in was because it was Earth Day. I had an almost crack-addiction type urge all day to litter. I had a physical need to throw a bunch of trash along the road.

Is that wrong?

I guess I should mention I did not do it, but boy I wanted too.

April 22, 2009

My hands felt like two balloons

It is hump day and that means trash day at the old homestead. I put out the garbage, but I forgot about the big pile of yard waste beside the house. I guess I will get to it next week.

For lunch I had a bowl of broccoli cheese soup and a bit of last night's leftover roast beef. For dessert I had a slice of fresh pineapple with a very little chocolate sauce and a second syrup I made from apricot preserves boiled down with a little water. The combination of the three flavors was delicious. Some days I surprise myself.

I finally rid myself of the evil earworm Maniac yesterday afternoon. I woke this morning with the opening line floating around my brain yet again. What is going on?

I am I the only who finds it amusing that the President and his sycophant followers are dead set against pulling fraternity-type hazing on detainees and are almost universally appalled by the death penalty, but have no problem killing a baby when the mother is inconvenienced by a pregnancy that is caused in 99.999% of the time by her willing copulation?

The man in the suit has just bought a new car

I am a little late getting to posting today. The wife is riding me about my lack of activity during my mini-vacation. I have loaded and started the dishwasher and put in a load of laundry so far today. I might even run a dust cloth around and run the sweeper this afternoon. Then again, I might not.

The sun is trying to shine today, but it is still a chilly 52 degrees outside. We are still looking at temps in the 80s this weekend. I am ready to feel the power of old sol. We are moving our daughter from her college house this weekend, so the nice weather will be welcome.

April 21, 2009

Dear President Obama

I am sorry, but I do not share your moral outrage. If it stops one single American from being killed I am in complete favor of waterboarding. I am also OK with administering swirlies, snuggies, beefstews and putting Nair in the jockstraps of terrorists. If it stops a beheading I think we should put them in dog collars and take their picture in their underwear. Make them eat bacon and bologna. Show them the bottom of our feet. We should beat theirs with an iron pipe. To stop another 9/11 we should strike them with rubber hoses and pry out their fingernails. Spray them with a fire hose. I have no issue at all if we attach car batteries to their gonads. Take an eye, break a finger or toe. To save American lives, eviscerate, draw and quarter and hang them by the neck. You see, there is no life more valuable on this planet than that of an American.

I do not think we should apologize for treating people like the animals they are who blow up little kids, punish rape victims with death, fly planes into buildings and take complete delight in killing the innocent. Cowardly goat fuckers who put bombs in discotheques and pizza parlors, those who take schoolkids hostage have no rights. They gave up their rights as human beings the moment they chose to strap on the bombs, or plan the murders of those who fail to follow the teachings of an 8th Century paederast. There is a place in Hell for those who plan and carry out such attacks. The next room over is reserved for those who let it happen.

I'm just a steeltown girl on a Saturday night

The furnace is running. It is sleeting outside. It is April, for AlGore's sake. We went to the baseball game and froze our butts off last night. The temp was in the 40s with a light rain and strong west wind. My sweatshirt was not enough. Some people had on winter coats -- they were the smart ones.

I have that song Maniac from Flashdance bouncing around in my skull this morning. That is not a good thing.

I am hungry this morning. There is a can of Dinty Moore stew crying my name. Will I be able to hold out for lunch, or will that combo of rich gravy, veggies, and meat-like stuff be slopped down my gullet for breakfast?

If it quits raining I might get a haircut today. Decisions, decisions...

April 20, 2009

In other words

I fried up some breaded tenderloins last night. I baked a batch of mac and cheese and some biscuits to go along. I did not make a veggie since I am the only one that would eat them, and I was not in the mood. Hey, I am 47, its OK to skip an occasional vegetable. An indifferent store-bought cherry pie rounded out the feast.

I ate a leftover tenderloin for lunch with a large glass of Big Red. Frank Sinatra crooned in the background. I slathered a leftover biscuit with apricot preserves and enjoyed a lunch fit for a king.

What are you eating today?

Mountains come out of the sky and stand there

Happy Monday. It is a cold rainy day here in the heart of Hoosierland. The weather dude said we have had more than four inches of rain already this month. It is forecast to rain through Wednesday. There is promise of a big warm-up later in the week.

This is my week off from work, sans pay. I filed for unemployment on-line this morning. I will not get anything, but now I am set to get my $390 per week if the company does this nonsense again this year. The wife has a big list of stuff she thinks I am going to do this week. I think I might have thrown it away. It was an accident, I thought it was trash.

Did you see the pictures of Your President giving that Commie Bastard Chavez a "soul handshake". Does that guy have no sense of class? Just think, GW was castigated for being a stupid, redneck buffoon with no gravitas or moral authority. He was portrayed as an embarrassment to the world, with no respect from other Government's leaders. At least he did not gift the PM a bunch of CDs and and bow to a Saudi King and act all "brother" with a fucking lunatic. Had this been Bush, some of you hypocrites from the left would have dropped four hundred words about the shame of it all in your blogs, and the MSM would have a feeding frenzy for weeks on end. I can respect people whop take a stand, no matter how ill-conceived or poorly thought out.

I hate hypocrites.

April 19, 2009

Smooth Jazz Sunday

I hope your Sunday is all that you want it to be. Did you go to Church, sleep in, have a big breakfast?

The boy had another ballgame Friday. I guess I should quit calling him the "the boy". He is nearly 16 and a fine young man. He is nearly as tall as I. Which is not saying much since we run short in the Hoosierboy family. My oldest son is over 6 foot tall though. Anyway, they won 18-6. Not bad for a freshman yeam playing against another school's Junior Varsity squad. The boy was 1-2 plus two walks, another RBI and I think he had five stolen bases. He scored one or two times.

My oldest son will be playing in a battle of the bands at college in a week or two. He is playing in two different bands, so does that mean his chances of winning are better? In his band he plays lead guitar and sings. His buddy TJ is in his band. He also plays in TJs band, where he plays bass. I said why don't you just combine the bands, but he said they play different kinds of music.

The daughter will graduate in a few weeks Cum Laude from Butler. She has a 3.9/4.0 in her major and 3.85/4.0 over all. She cannot be Magna Cum Laude because she did not sign up for the honors program when she was a freshman. Now she is on the job hunt. If you have an opening for an Elementary Ed teacher in Central Indiana let me know.

I cleaned out the flower beds yesterday morning. Then I sprayed the dandelions. I mowed. Then I made the boy help me cut down the big grasses from last year. I should have done this in early March. He agreed on the basis he could use the saw. I am a softy, so I let him. All young (and old) boys like power tools. Yesterday evening the wife and I went to her niece's up in Lafayette (about 90 minutes away) for a cookout/family get-together/birthday party. We had a great time. It was a long day.

The Cubs won.

There you have it; a summary of my weekend so far. I hope you are doing great.

Concord Hymn

By the rude bridge that arched the flood,
Their flag to April's breeze unfurled,
Here once the embattled farmers stood,
And fired the shot heard round the world.

Today marks the anniversary of the Battles of Lexington and Concord, the first glorious steps to our Independence and freedom from tyranny. We would not formally declare our independence for more than a year, but the heroic stand of these militiamen, these farmers and shopkeepers against the mightiest army in the world remains a symbol of the true American spirit. At the time if the Revolution every civilized nation on earth was ruled by a monarch, dictator or oligarchy of some sort. Some 234 years later, free republics and democracy are more the norm. Yes, the shots fired at Lexington and Concord were heard around the world. At these small Massachusetts villages were felt the birthing pangs of freedom. The beginning of a new nation were all would have equal opportunity. Where freedom and liberty would be the foundation of the new Republic.

It was the action of these outnumbered and outclassed Americans that inspired the Founders to write the Second Amendment as insurance the common citizenry would have the means to again throw off the yoke of oppression and overweening Government should the need ever again arise.

April 18, 2009


Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere,
On the eighteenth of April, in Seventy-five;
Hardly a man is now alive
Who remembers that famous day and year.
He said to his friend, "If the British march
By land or sea from the town to-night,
Hang a lantern aloft in the belfry arch
Of the North Church tower as a signal light,--
One if by land, and two if by sea;
And I on the opposite shore will be,
Ready to ride and spread the alarm
Through every Middlesex village and farm,
For the country folk to be up and to arm."

You know the rest. In the books you have read
How the British Regulars fired and fled,---
How the farmers gave them ball for ball,
From behind each fence and farmyard wall,
Chasing the redcoats down the lane,
Then crossing the fields to emerge again
Under the trees at the turn of the road,
And only pausing to fire and load.

So through the night rode Paul Revere;
And so through the night went his cry of alarm
To every Middlesex village and farm,---
A cry of defiance, and not of fear,
A voice in the darkness, a knock at the door,
And a word that shall echo for evermore!
For, borne on the night-wind of the Past,
Through all our history, to the last,
In the hour of darkness and peril and need,
The people will waken and listen to hear
The hurrying hoof-beats of that steed,
And the midnight message of Paul Revere.


April 17, 2009

On Secession

144 years ago some 600,000 Americans died to prove the US of A is an exclusive club you can never leave. Do not fool yourself, the Civil War was not about slavery -- no matter what your teachers told you.

With the exception of a few States in New England the majority of volunteers for the North were fighting to preserve the Union. There are thousands of diaries, memoirs and newspaper accounts from the era that back up this assertion. If the States outside of New England thought for a minute Lincoln would abolish slavery, there would have been few who rallied to the call to arms after the bombing of Fort Sumter.

In 1865 most citizens were farmers or craftsmen. The biggest factor in the Union victory was the industrial might of the nation lay in the North. The South was crippled by a blockade. The fall of Vicksburg was the beginning of the end. You should have learned this in 8th grade US History, but do a little research.

Today the economy is splintered in a similar way. No single region has a monopoly on resources and industrial capabilities. We are in a national and global economy. Let us look a simple commodity and see how a Republic of Texas at war with the Union would fare. Since the new Republic could no longer use the dollar as currency it will have to back its securities with other commodities. Luckily Texas has some oil. To pump that oil you need pumps, drilling machinery gears and bearings. Let us see there are ZERO bearing factories in Texas. A simple blockade of Galveston stops imports from China and Europe. Besides, what nation is willing to risk a trade embargo with the Union? No bearings, no oil, no trade. Can Texas produce enough food to feed itself?Is the State in a position to maintain the infrastructure? Texas has a GDP similar to Canada, but can it maintain that level of activity without the other 49 states contribution in food, electricity, water, raw materials, components?

I, for one, am not so sure the armed forces of the US will be so quick to ignore their oath to support the Constitution and the commanders appointed over them. They may not respect Obama, but you are gambling a lot on the idea they will not support the Commander in Chief. The idea of a military Coup d'Etat is a repugnant idea to most veterans I know. After all they followed the idiotic rules of warfare in Vietnam when they knew it would cost more US lives.

Talk of secession at this point is premature. If Americans feel strong enough the 9th and 10th Amendments should be enforced it will be done at the ballot box in 2010.

Some things never change

On Reconstruction following The Civil War:

[R]eturning political and economic control...to the Democrats...who had just rebelled would render the North's victory in the war fruitless. "Every state that seceded from the United States was a Democratic State.... Every man that shot Union soldiers was a Democrat. Every man that loved slavery better than liberty was a Democrat. The man that assassinated Abraham Lincoln was a Democrat," Republican political leader Robert Ingersoll pointed out. "Every man that raised bloodhounds to pursue human beings was a Democrat. Every man that clutched from shrieking, shuddering, crouching mothers, babes from their breasts, and sold them into slavery, was a Democrat."

And a corollary for today:

I would add that every idiot who cannot see that "Hope and Change" is code for Socialism/Communism is a Democrat.

emphasis mine

Friday Grab Bag

It is Friday at last, what a long, long week. The weatherman claims we will hit 70 today, are shorts in order?

The boy finally had his first baseball game last night. He went 1-2, plus a walk and a stolen base. Not too bad an effort. He started and played the entire game in center field. The team jumped out to a quick 6-2 lead but ended up losing 17-7 in five innings (10 run rule). Pitching was an issue in the later innings. It will be an issue the entire season. They play again tonight.

If my goal is to have the worst looking, raggedy, dandelion-filled yard in the neighborhood, well then call me a success!

I had a leftover subway BMT with extra pepper jack cheese for breakfast.

The Cubs have already achieved mid-season form.

Secrets are hard to keep. I am good at it though.

Maybe I will find the time to enjoy a cigar this afternoon. That means the yard work will have to wait. Decisions, decisions...

I cannot seem to get any of my customers to return a phone call or answer an email. Is it me? Is it my breath, do I have BO? Dandruff? Did I pick my nose and flick boogers at you?

The Dragon is back -- click the link over on the right and tell her I said hola.

Did you catch that, Fat in Indiana has gone bi-lingual!

Is this the most boring post you have ever read?

April 16, 2009

Dear Liberal Blogger

You know who you are, the one who made fun of the "teabaggers" heh heh, I guess you are still in Jr. High with Keith Olberman. Funny how you parrot the same things, isn't it? Here is a fine example of the no-bias media:

Of course we heard no words of condemnation and claims it is not a "family friendly atmosphere" when Cindy Sheehan cursed the President Bush or when we all got see Code Pink and their wrinkly snatches decry the War in Iraq.

When the Government takes over the means of production it is Fascism. The Government is now an owner of banks and insurance companies. Fascism is firing Auto Execs and saying who can make what in wages and benefits -- I guess the recent actions of the Obama Government fits the bill.

The demonstrations were not about taxation without representation, they were about a Government that has stepped beyond the Constitution, they are about freedom, they are about the Ninth and Tenth Amendments. It is a matter of smaller, better Government. It is about the future.

Dear Miss Reporter, you do understand that the 50 gazzilion dollars or whatever that Illinois is getting from the Government comes from Taxpayers? Someone has to pay that debt? Or are you one of those really ignorant fucks that thinks your Tax Refund is a free check from the Government too?

Quick thoughts

I went to get the brakes fixed/replaced on my daughter's car yesterday. There was an old February 2009 issue of TIME lying on a chair. I was reading the articles and ran across the rantings of an African-American Studies Professor at some institute of higher learning I do not recall. Here, in a nutshell, is his problem with Black History Month (paraphrased). "Black History Month is a racist idea. The white man chose the shortest, darkest, coldest month and gave it to the Black man." GMAFB.

Obama says he wants to simplify the tax code and make it more fair. This is easy. Everyone over the age of 18 who works pays 17% of their earned income. No exceptions, no deductions. Tax forms are sent in on a postcard. Even those (Rep. Rangle) who write the tax laws will be able to now understand them. Is there anything more fair than that?

How can a person who pays no taxes get a tax cut?

Obama and the Democrats have decreed less money will be withheld from my check for taxes. This looks to many like a tax cut. Are you aware you will have to make up those taxes when you file next year? Of course when many of us have to write a check next April the scam regarding 95% of us getting a reduction in taxes will be exposed. Just in time for the run up to the 2010 Congressional/Senate races.

Democrats are going ape-shit over Alaska Governor Palin coming to an event in Indiana. They lament she is abandoning her State to run for President. Isn't funny these Democrats had no issues with Senators Obama and Clinton spending two four years running for President missing nearly every important Senate vote. I maintain if you are a politician seeking a different office you should resign your current position. After all, most of us would find it unethical if we spent 100% of our time looking for another job while being paid by your current employer. Why is it OK to take taxpayer money without doing the work? Oh, wait, I forgot, that is the mantra of the Democrat party -- take from the producers and give to the users.

I am not sure I understand, according to the Department of Homeland Security (aside, am I the only one who finds the title of that agency ominous?), if I disagree with the current Government plans and am a right wing conservative I am a threat to the nation's security? DHS is alerting local law enforcement to be on the lookout even though the report cited nary a single piece of evidence that the militia movement is growing, that right wing terrorism is on the rise, that treasonous acts are taking place. Veterans have especially been singled out as people to watch. This is all because crazy Timothy McVee bombed a building under the last Dimocrit President and he was a Vet, and conservative. By that logic we should put all leftist Professors and college students on a watch list. After all it was students that made up the Weather Underground. Some of those domestic terrorists are now Professors. And there was an unpopular war being waged and a Dimocrit was in office! Do doo do doo...

Oh, and since the erstwhile Governor of Alaska has now drunk the global warming Kool-aid, she can forget my support, should she try to run for National office in the future.

The State of Indiana wants to change the age one can get a drivers licence from 16 years plus 30 days to 16 years plus 180 days. The argument is it will make them better and more mature drivers. Does anyone really believe an extra five months will make a difference? A new driver is a hazard, no matter how old you are (sorry Freddie!). How about this, change the age one is allowed to drive to 18, and at the same time cap it at 75. I predict the accident rates would reduce dramatically as the old farts who poke along are removed from the road. And, if you are caught texting while driving, you lose your right to drive for 6 months, no matter how old you are. As someone who drives a lot, I have seen amazing stupidity behind the wheel. People applying make-up, reading books and newspapers, reclining with both feet out the window (yes, while driving) and once I saw a guy playing the trumpet while driving down I-75 in downtown Atlanta. 16 year-olds are not the only idiots on the road.

Jeepers, I am out of time and I have only solved a fraction of the world's problems.

April 15, 2009

I will not be mocked

The cursor flashes...flashes...flashes, mocking me like an insolent middle schooler. I can hear its unsaid singsong message "You've got nuthin', you've got nuthin'". I give it a hard stare, the one calculated to freeze recalcitrant children in their tracks. The one that makes Jehovah Witnesses shrink from the porch in fear. The stare that makes white trash move their fat arse from the aisle at WalMart. The cursed cursor does not flinch. It just flashes on and on, secure in the knowledge I am responsible for its movement. The uncaring cursor knows it is up to me to hit the keys in a meaningful way that ends up with combinations of lines and curves that form words and sentences that entertain you.

Oh, cursor you sit there flashing away, no cares in the world. You have no bills, no work, no responsibilities. You are but a slave to my whims, my fingers, my nerves, my brain. You are nothing but electronic zeros and ones. Yet, there you sit flashing on and off and acting all superior. Just who do you think you are cursor? You are not better than me. I will not bow down to you like an Obama before a Saudi Potentate. I will not kiss your extended ring. I will not kowtow to your smug complacency. You are nothing without me! I made you. Screw you cursor.

Quit laughing at my pathetic attempts to blog, you flashing stick of evil. I have the power. I have the control. I can make you go away. I will win. Watch this mother fuc...

April 14, 2009

Tuesday. I boast and whine. A typical day around here.

I made some biscuits this morning. No reason other than I wanted some. There is nothing better than a warm biscuit dripping melted butter. Being the self-centered codpiece I am, I waited until the boy left for school and the wife went to work. It sucks to be them, I guess.

The boy has his first baseball game of the season, providing the fields are dry and the rain holds off. There is a slim chance of either I would wager.

I will be off work next week -- an involuntary, unpaid vacation. I am not too happy about it, but I guess it beats the alternative. The company also has stopped matching 401K deposits and we all took a pay cut in February. Business is so bad I am not making any bonuses this year either. So to sum it up, I am working harder and travelling more for less pay and benefits. Thanks Democrats in Congress.

It appears GM will have to file for bankruptcy after all. That means we have dumped billions into the company with the same result if they had done it 5 months ago. Seriously, do we want these same nitwits in Government deciding the fate of our medical care?

I had another post up for about five minutes, but I am paranoid and took it down. I will post it again in a few days. Maybe...If you beg. And bark like a dog.

April 13, 2009

Playing Cards

I tried to play UNO with some Mexicans today but the jackasses kept stealing the green cards so I quit......

from Otter

Happy Monday

For some reason I am tired this morning. I watched the Cubs win, or maybe I should say I saw the Brewers give away the game. They walked in four Cubs runs. I hear on the radio a dead goat was hanging on the Harry Caray statue at Wrigley Field early this morning. Does this remove the curse, or extend it?

I think I lost count of the spoons of coffee when making my morning brew. It is a tad strong. I am going to drink it though. I will chew as necessary. I guess the coffee could be described in the manner the great Western writer Louis L'Amour always claimed his characters made coffee -- "strong enough to float a horseshoe".

We went to my Mom's for Easter dinner yesterday. The food was great. It was nice to see my parents, I have not seen them for a while.

It is raining again. I am thinking about building an ark. If I do, there will not be any f-ing snakes put on board this time. I need to do so much yard work, if it would ever get dry and warm. The long cold winter has morphed into a long cold spring.

Another of my favorite reads has abandoned the blog life. Say goodbye to the Dragon's Den over there on the sidebar. I will leave up the link for a while in case she comes to her senses and begins to entertain us again.

I am glad to see The Obama finally took my counsel and invoked some action against the Pirates. Now there are three less assholes to menace the world. We are all better off. I hope they are rotting in Hell already. It is my fervent hope the Navy either tossed the bodies to the sharks, or even better, left them floating in the lifeboat as a warning to the other assholes with similar thoughts of screwing with Uncle Sam.

Back Home Again, In Indiana

Finally a few politicians with some balls, that have read The Constitution.

Read this.

April 12, 2009

Matthew 28:1-10

After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."

So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me."

April 11, 2009

Weekend Roundup

Good morning blog friends. I am up early this morning as we are supposed to do volunteer work at the concession stand for the varsity baseball team. It has rained like a mini-Noah's flood for the past day or two and I am sure the fields are just brick-dust mud at this point. I expect the games to be cancelled.

The boy is scheduled to have his first game on Tuesday (Freshman Team). I am a little concerned, he said they have yet to practice hitting against live pitching. In the coach's defense, the few days they have been able to practice outside have been very cold and wet. The cold winter has morphed into a cold spring. Hitting in a cage is still no substitute for the real thing.

I see we still have no response from our Glorious Leader to North Korea or the Somali pirates. I hope he does not adopt the same leadership qualities when it comes to training his puppy. We will have to replace the White House carpeting after four years of it getting pissed and shat upon. Do you think Kim Jong Il knows The Obama is giving him the silent treatment in a fit of anger?

April 10, 2009

I love the Marines

Per my comment below regarding Perdicaris and Raisuli, here is a highly fictionalized version of Teddy Roosevelt's response to that situation from the movie The Wind and the Lion:

African Muslims kidnap an American woman and hold her and her family ransom. TR calls bullshit and sends the Marines. By the way, it is popular gossip that actual Marines were used in the filming of this scene. True or not this is one of the finest scenes in film. "hostiles to the left..."

I cannot help but think Nathan is right in his comments, a little kick ass response from the military might of the USA on the Somali leaders just might put a stop to this pirate nonsense.


I just cooked up a batch of cheese fries: Ore-Ida Pixie Crinkles fried in the deep fryer, then covered with shredded CoJack and topped with bacon pieces and a dollop of sour cream.

I know what you are saying, you wish you were me.

How about you, what's for lunch today?

F-f-f-f-f friday

I see some third world hoodlums still have the Obama Administration flummoxed. I guess we are taking the Jimmah Carter approach when Americans are taken hostage by members of the Religion of Peace. Watch and wait, monitor the situation, HOPE the pirates CHANGE their minds and let the Captain go. I am not surprised, your President says he is OK with just forgetting about 12 million criminals who broke into the country too. Just wait, when the leaders of the real criminal states like Iran and Syria see that Obama backs down from four or five criminals with automatic rifles, what will he do when confronted with real aggression?

In more happy news, I have the day off work as a holiday today. I am sitting here drinking coffee and chatting with you. Do you feel special? Expect a multitude of posts today as I feel the need to communicate my brilliant thoughts to the outside world.

April 9, 2009

You stupid, stupid people

"All nations must come together to build a stronger, global regime"

This from your President last week. While he was at it, he agreed to let an international board, dominated by European Bankers, to regulate banks and private companies in the US.

He now wants to open our borders. He bows before foreign potentates.

At first, I gave him the benefit of doubt. I thought he was just in over his head. Now, I really believe Obama's goal is to destroy our nation as it currently exists. He is willing to turn over our sovereignty, he is doing everything in his power to nationalize industry. Read the works of Alinsky and the 1960's radicals -- he is following the program at an accelerated rate. Orwell was just off by about a quarter of a century. Obama apparently did hear his Pastor's cry of God Damn America, he is trying his best to speed up the process.

This goes beyond a political disagreement, I am terrified for our nation. Where are all of the liberal hand wringers and haters that were convinced W was taking away our rights? In just a few months this guy has made a mockery of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence.

Those of you who stayed home or voted for The Obama in a pique of anger, Are you proud of yourself now?

Help us Obi Wan, the Republic needs you. The nation yearns for a Conservative leader. It is time to stand up Republican Party. We can no longer afford to be Democrats-lite.

I see dead people

But only when steering an imaginary pirate ship.

I have the con, Mr. Quartermaster...

April 8, 2009

Take that health Nazis...and a heartfelt plea

I just poured a tall glass of whole milk. I stirred in a bunch of Hershey's syrup. I drank it down in two big gulps.

Hell ya. You should try it.

In other news it is reported Tom Cruise wants to remake Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Leave it alone Hollywood. The perfect version has already been filmed. There is nothing anyone can do to make that film better than the original. Just leave it alone, please...

Today's WTF moment

An Indiana Sheriff Deputy was fired because he refused to be zapped by a stun gun in a training exercises. Read it here.

The County Sheriff responsible for this idiotic policy should be fired instead. Does he also train his deputies by beating them with a nightstick? Does each deputy have to be shot by his gun in order to "know how it feels?" Are the officers in Hamilton County cuffed and tossed in the back of a squad car for training purposes?

Compare and contrast

African Pirates have seized an American Flagged ship with an American crew.

What will be our President's response? I know what the first President from the Democratic Party did. I bet the response is much different from the latest.

Here is a not too subtle hint..."to the shores of Tripoli..."

Mr. Obama, with all respect, you are no Thomas Jefferson.

Edit: The latest reports indicate the American crew took back control from the pirates. Don't tread on me, eh asshole Somalies? Not all Americans are candy-assed peacenik hippy Democrats.

I guess the crew felt they needed to act on their own since the White House was "monmitoring the situation trying to decide a course of action". Way to take a decision, Mofos.

April 6, 2009


Don't tell on me, but here I am posting to the old blog when I am in the middle of a web-based sales meeting. I am bored to tears, but at least I am not in New Frikin' York! The overseas guys are now speaking. Fighting the heavy French accent is a struggle, especially when I have no interest in the topic.

It is snowing. That is beyond depressing.

The Obama is still spreading his Socialist bull. That too is depressing.

There is some kind of basketball game tonight. I have no interest at all.

Can we be honest with each other? Readership is down. I know that is a direct reflection of the content. You are bored, I am bored. Do not be surprised if posting becomes sparse. The batteries need some charging.

Of course, every time I have said that in the past, I get a creative streak. The best course of action is to check back several times a day.

April 3, 2009

4/5 of the family

If you snooze, you lose

Secrets of the world revealed

I made a nice lasagna last night. I hate to be the one that opens the doors of mystery, but lasagna is just not that hard to make. I might add, I make my own sauce -- no jar stuff for me.

Life continues here at the old homestead, it is cold and blustery today after heavy rain last night. I have a lot of yard work to do and the rains have greened up the grass. I refuse to mow the lawn when the temperature is in the 40's.

The boy continues baseball practice, it looks as if he will be the starting center fielder for the freshman team.

I am so dismayed, so much in shock over the rapid decent of our nation into socialism, I am without words. Discussions of a one world government, of a global currency leave me chilled. The Obamas constant refrain that he has to fix America leaves me stunned. We live in the most successful nation in the history of the world, and he believes it needs to be changed? Seriously, you who voted for this guy, is this what you wanted? Is this what you expected? Do you really think the bankruptcy of our nation is a good thing? Do you really truly believe the people owe their existence to the Government, not the reverse? Am I the only one who looks at the news every day, and find myself speechless?

April 2, 2009

Pelosi and the Pope

The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd. The speaker and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before. To make it a little more interesting, the speaker says to the Pope, "Did You know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every Democrat in the crowd go wild?"
He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the wave elicits rapture and cheering from every democrat in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.
The Pope, not wanting to be out done by such a level of arrogance, considers what he could do. "That was impressive, the Pope says, "But did you know that with just one little wave of MY hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice."
The speaker seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all people will rejoice forever? Show me."
So the Pope slapped her.

Which President is a hick?

I see The Obama continues to put a lot of thought in his gifts to foreign dignitaries. He gave the Queen a frickin iPod. That is what I got for my birthday. What does he do, send an intern down to WalMart to grab something on the way out of town? I can see it now: "Shit, Michelle I forgot to get something for the Queen. I need some smokes too, before the price goes up. Send an intern down to the store, will you? Oh, and you better get some kind of sweater. People are starting to compare your fashion sense with Larry the Cable Guy. It is supposed to be cold on that damn island. Do we still have to separate our shampoo and shave cream in a little plastic bag for the airport?"

Hey poor people, how does that tax increase on cigarettes feel? Good thing The Obama was only going to tax the rich! Hahahaha you fucking moronic sheep. Just wait until they go after your beer and whiskey and increase gas taxes again. What?, you say you cannot afford one of those new hybrids? Your old car is all you have and $4.00/gal is more than you can afford for gas? Hey that cap and trade scheme is going to raise my electric bill 50-100%, you cry? Too bad, you must be rich, because Uncle Obama will only go after those big evil rich people and corporations. Oh, you lost your job because the small business you worked for got higher taxes. Too bad for you.

Does it make you feel better that the Dems, in a true reflection of their anger over badly run businesses giving out bonuses and raises with taxpayer money gave themselves a pay raise? Even though their approval ratings were lower than Bush's, by all public opinion their job performance was less than acceptable. They voted themselves a raise. Don't fret, it is only tax money -- we will just raise the rate on the rich...

April 1, 2009

this site is offensive

The ertwhile Hotel chain Embassy Suites says so. As a result I could not use their computer to post interesting and timely words of wisdom. Instead you get entries by phone, which means no spell check and spotty punctuation. The tiny Treo keyboard was not made for fat fingers.

How cool was it that my visitors ID badge at my customer yesterday sported the number 007? I know.

It appears I am facing a muli-hour flight tgis morning in the middle seat. It sucks to be me. I see a huge guy walking up to the gate. Will I again win the seatmate lottery? Check back often to find out. Oh, and get your mind right, tomorrow we will play "where was Hoosierboy?"
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