August 29, 2008

Friday Five

Friday Five -- the feature that will not die. This week I will present to you what I consider to be some of the greatest album covers of all time, in no particular order.

1. The Rolling Stones Sticky Fingers

2. The Beatles The White Album. Some of you are going to whine and cry that I did not include Sgt Pepper. I think this concept is brilliant, and it is my blog. Suck on that. Besides, I think Abbey Road is better than Sgt. Pepper also.

3. The Who Who's Next

4. Yes Fragile

5. Herb Alpert's Tijuana Brass Whipped Cream and Other Delights This is quite possible the greatest album cover of all time.

I have left off some other great covers, like Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here or Animals or Dark Side of the Moon, or Nirvana's Nevermind and possibly even The Cars' Candy-O. What would you add to the list?

How many of you ladies, of a certain age, would (or would have at 12 years old) vote for this one?:

Pot, Meet Kettle

I just heard former Clinton apologist George Snufflupugus claim the Dims were going to attack McCain's choice for VP on her lack of experience. She has been Governor of Alaska for two years. I would state that is not much experience, but she has actually been in charge, an executive.

I guess we should be in awe of The Obama's 143 days in the Senate and the years, months, weeks, days he has been in charge of...?

I would laugh it it were not so sad. We know the MSM will pick this theme right up, and never blush a bit over their hypocrisy.

Friday, at last.

I had to do a bit of travel with the Boss the Really Big Boss (as in President of the Company)this week. He is a nice guy, but I really prefer to travel on my own.

When I got home Wednesday evening, the daughter was on the phone crying, it seems her car would not start and that was the cap on a really bad day. I assured her it was not the end of the world. She said she would have someone jump the car so she could go to her first day of student teaching on Thursday. I tried to make her understand that whatever was wrong with the car (battery and/or alternator)would continue to be a problem and she would be stranded someplace else with a car that would not start. I finally had to have the wife call back and explain it for the eleventy-fifth time. She finally arranged to borrow her boyfriend's car. I went to Indy and the beautiful environs of Butler University to look at the car yesterday morning. It was a bad battery. I bought a new one, installed it, and all is well. I even filled up her tank with gas.

There is not much on tap for this long weekend. The boy has a tennis match Saturday morning. I suppose I need to mow the yard and I have some cold beer in the fridge. I bought a few of cigars this week, as my humidor was getting low. One Henry Clay in particular is calling me.

Oh, I did not watch one minute of The Obama last night. Hurry up November.

August 28, 2008

Biden is a great choice for VP

The US of A stinks. We cannot get the medical care we need. The economy is in ruins, as bad as the Great Depression. The whole world hates us. Our education system is as bad as any on Earth. Whites hate blacks and browns and all people of color. We have started wars for no reason. We are losing them all. Our water is poison and we are the prime cause of Global Warming/hurricanes/tornadoes/typhoons/floods/snow storms/wind/tide/volcanoes/polar bears dying and all that is bad in the world.

I hate my country.

That is what I would believe if I listened to the bullshit being spewed by the Democrats in Denver this week.

August 27, 2008

Liberalism and the Air Conditioner

A few weeks ago Supergurl asked me what innovations or inventions have most affected mankind. At least that is what my memory says she wanted to know. In any case that is the subject I want to discuss today.

Historian (and former Librarian of Congress) Daniel Boorstin has written elegantly on the subject. I would strongly recommend his Americans series, especially The Americans: The Democratic Experience for some good reading how innovations have changed our lives.

One innovation I believe made a marked change upon our society I lay at the feet of one Willis Carrier of Syracuse. He invented the first commercial air conditioner. If The Obama is elected, we can blame Carrier.

Carrier invented the air conditioner in 1902. By the 1960s air conditioning had become affordable for the average home. As such, areas in the deep south and western desert areas now became hospitable. Retirees from the Northeast and the big cities flocked to these locations for their retirement years. The warm winters drew them in, and the summers were now made bearable by air conditioning. Look at the population surge in Florida for instance: source

Or how about Arizona:source

What does this have to do with Liberals you ask. Well, it has nothing to do with global warming. Most liberals hail from the Northeast. The advent of air conditioning has allowed these socialist leaning liberals to move from New York and Boston to spread their brand of politics to Florida, Louisiana, New Mexico and Southern California. Places like Austin, Texas and Atlanta have become centers of liberal politics.

One hundred years ago the citizens of the deep south and west were ranchers and farmers and working men. Now we have retirees, tourists and bankers. We have a new group of individuals whose only way to make money is at the expense of others. These people tend to like Government controls, welfare and the nanny state.

Thanks to air conditioning, Liberal poison has spread throughout the land. So if The Obama wins, he should doff his cap to Willis Carrier.

August 26, 2008

Punish the Achievers

I read with some interest the directors of a youth baseball league in Connecticut are not going to allow a nine year-old boy to pitch because he is too good. Read the story here. This is what the nanny state has become. It began when we quit keeping score at soccer games, and this is the logical progression. This my friends, and I know you will say I am going too far, is the socialist ideal. No one is allowed to be better than another. If Little Timmy cannot hit the baseball, make sure the pitcher is not too good. Punish the achievers. Here is a kid that shows some talent and potential. It is possible, if he is not allowed to practice his craft he will not develop. Is New Haven taking away this boy's chance at the big leagues?

I am not big on lawsuits and such, but this kid should take his case to court. This is the liberal bullshit we must stop now.


I tried. I cannot do it. I wanted to be the blog reporter of record regarding the Dimocrit Convention. I could not watch five minutes. Sorry, but Clint Eastwood was on AMC. Besides, I really could not care what either the Swimmer or Michelle "I am finally proud of my country" have to say. Look, The Obama is a socialist. His platform is straight from the Communist Manifesto. Look it up. Trolls -- prove me wrong. I have about as much interest in listening to the bullshit socialist crap Liberals are spouting in Denver as I do in watching turd races at the local sewage plant.

Two weeks of the Olympics, followed by two weeks of political conventions makes me long for regular old network TV. That is a sad state of affairs.

Sorry, you will have to watch it yourself. I could not even watch the news reports of tonight's festivities. Watching the syncophatic fawning over Kennedy makes me sick. He may be ill, but he still killed that girl when he left her to suffocate in the rear window of that car. I would no more celebrate his career than I would the drug dealing bastard that accidentally shot his girlfriend down at the local lock-up. And fuck any one of you that thinks that no good bastard Ted Kennedy is an American Hero. I might pimp out for a joke and show my ass on this blog, but every one of those clapping motherfuckers are the real assholes.

August 25, 2008

Saturday Football

The local high school team got an opportunity to play at the brand spankin' new Lucas Oil Stadium, the home of the Indianapolis Colts, on Saturday. Yes, they played in the stadium before the Colts did. What an awesome venue. Here are a few pics. BTW, we won big. Check out the size of the TV screen in the corner in the last picture.

Kiss this, Obama

You did not doubt me did you? I bet it kind of makes you wish you had clicked a few more times (or not visited at all).

August 23, 2008

The Obama Names Veep

Hope and Change.

I guess The Obama hopes we do not notice the only change he has in mind is that he will be President. He has signalled his real intent by naming Joe Biden, a lifetime Washington insider, as VP. What we can expect is politics as usual. Liberal politics.

I hope someone vets the prospective Vice President's speeches for plagiarism for a change.

Thanks for all the hits Guy! Welcome loyal GuyK readers, stick around and peruse the archives. You will actually find some entertaining and interesting stuff there.

August 22, 2008

I know what I don't like

I do not think I would like to be named Elwood. I can think of nothing positive about the name. It would be cool to hang out with someone named Elwood though.

Here are some famous Elwoods I would have as friends:

Elwood P. Dowd. I would not mind having a cocktail with him or his buddy Harvey
Elwood Haynes built one of the first automobiles.
Elwood Blues He did not have much to say, but he could play the blues.

Do you know any Elwoods?

Random Ramblings

According to my daughter, if you want short lines go to Universal and Disney in the middle of a tropical storm. "You get pretty wet", she said, "but the wait is really short."

Don't you learn how to hand off a relay baton in 7th grade track? Is this the first any of the US Track stars have been involved in a relay?

On that same note when are the Olympics over? I thought they occurred every four years, not last that long.

Oh, and is NBC required to be the official network of the Chinese Olympic Team? How about they actually show some Americans? It would have been nice to see the first American Woman to win the discus in about 70 years, as opposed to twenty minutes of some damn Chinese hurdler we have never heard of putting ice on his ankle.

Hey, I will up the ante, for 500 hits I will post a picture of my balls.

August 21, 2008

No time for you

Moving the boy to college today.

Here is a challenge. If I get 250 hits from now until 11:59 pm Sunday evening, I WILL post a picture of my hairy butt right here. 78,347 is the current count.

August 20, 2008


Were you right?

Dear John McCain

Dear Mr. McCain,

Can I have a word with you? Look, it is like this, and I am pretty sure I speak for a bunch of Republicans here. I was not thrilled with your nomination, some of your positions are very troubling to me as a staunch Conservative. I am slowly coming around, and let us face it -- The Obama is really inexperienced, an empty suit and his positions are downright scary.

Let me offer this threat -- and relax, Mr. Secret Service guy, it is not a physical threat -- if you nominate a Democrat, or a liberal as VP, I will sit out the election. You are so sure we will vote for you to keep The Omaba out, but do not push me too far. This is not about abortion, but about the role of Government in our lives. You need to throw me a bone, sir. Look around for a true Conservative as Veep -- How about Mike Pence?

Listen to me, I mean what I say.

Your friend,


August 18, 2008


It is Monday morning and week 56 of nothing interesting to say continues. Lift the curse SuperGurl. I am sorry, and this time I mean it.

Did you see the American gymnast screwed over by the judges in the vault last night? It was just like the good old cold war days, only we did not get to see what judge was doing the screwing. How can you land on your knees and still get a medal?

It looks like the Russians are giving a mighty middle finger to the world in Georgia. I bet Putin really cares that Condi says she is beginning to doubt his word. Where are the anti-war peacnik hippy mofos? Why aren't they surrounding the Russian Embassy in Washington en mass singing Lets Give Peace a Chance? Where are the Code Pink ladies women saggy titted skanks baring it all for the people of Georgia? Cindy Sheehan, Jane Fonda, Neil Young where are you? The world needs your brand of peace. love and understanding. Jimmah Carter why won't you intervene? Is it just that you guys all only hate American wars? Just wondering if maybe we should doubt your patriotism. You are just hypocritical scum sucking sweaty ball licking dog turd sniffing booger eating liberal motherfuckers. Oh, BTW, I am really impressed by your firm position The Obama, way to take a stand...

My daughter is in Florida visiting the land of Mickey with her boyfriend. They are supposed to leave on Thursday. I wish they would leave earlier. How about a little prayer for them and all of my blog buddies in the sunshine state as Fay does her thing.

August 17, 2008

Put flowers in your hair, so I don't have to plant them

I wonder if my wife has been secretly reading Guy. She keeps coming up with all of these projects for me. My idea of a project is to sit in the old chair and watch a Cubs game. Yesterday her project was for me to plant a half dozen mums she purchased. She wanted these babies planted along the front walk. There is a narrow strip of dirt between the garage, which extends out from the house a bit, and this sidewalk. This strip was covered in weeds and a bunch of ground cover and some perennials she hated. These flowers looked like purple and yellow queen ann's lace with a fern-like greenery. They are dead now. The ground cover was a bitch to remove. Anyway the soil, if you could call it that, was as hard as rock. I can say that because it was mostly little rocks mixed in with the Indiana black clay that makes up the soil in these parts. I had to use post hole diggers to get the holes dug. It took one and a half bags of potting soil, two beers and more than two hours to plant these stupid mums. I could only move about 1/8 inch of soil at a time. What a pain.

I was not able to get a decent picture.

I have to mow today, and some bushes in the back need trimmed. I have some work the stuff I get paid for) to do this evening. Happy Sunday.

August 16, 2008

Thats the way uh huh uh huh

I was off doing my Willie Loman thing and I could not get posts to publish from my trusted Treo. That is too bad, because I spent a long time hunting and pecking at those tiny little keys a brilliant post about the idiots at the Democratic Party. I was so angry when it would not publish, I nearly threw the phone. Now I have neither the desire or the memory to redo it. Plus, it is the weekend, so most of you will not read this until Monday. We all know old posts are just a bit stale. They are OK if you douse them in garlic butter and toss them in the oven, but a fresh post is best.

Enjoy your weekend, maybe I will have something amusing after I read the links over there on the right. You should click on them too.

Hello Josh -- welcome.

August 13, 2008

Mea Culpa

Mea Culpa, mea maxima culpa. I hope that is right, Latin has never been my strong suit. Mostly 'cause I have never studied it. SuperGurl has nailed it -- Karma is smacking me around with Bruce Lee-like Fists of Fury. I had the nerve to chastise (do that mean what I think it do?)my blog twin for lack of posting, and almost immediately I have been beset with the Nadas, as in I got Nada to say of interest. Hey, look at that, Latin and Spanglish right there in the same paragraph.

I am sorry to each and every one of you I ever berated for lack of posting.

That sentence was hard to type since it almost sounds like an admission I might have been wrong. OK, fine, I am not sorry.

Karma, take your hand from the throat of my muse, before I kick you in the crotch. I will force the issue if I have to. There is always The Obama to attack. I can write about history, or continue to offer mundane vignettes from my boring life. Hell, I might even be forced to tell the truth, and no one wants that...If all else fails, I can post reruns to let the new readers enjoy my brilliance, and remind old readers I once was entertaining. Do not make me go there Karma, you beotch.

August 12, 2008

Summer Breeze

It is Tuesday. The flags are flying at half mast here, black armbands are snug on the figurative bicep. The days of freedom are done.

School starts tomorrow. The wife goes back to work, the boy begins his first day of high school. Neither are thrilled. The summer was cold and very wet. Baseball lasted so long, there were not many days of freedom. The oldest boy returns to college next week (sophomore). He has worked so much all summer I have hardly gotten to see him. That makes me sad. That is him in the picture, a hundred years ago, enjoying a slide. The daughter finished summer classes and is leaving for a week in Florida with her boyfriend (I am not thrilled by that, but she is going to be 22 next month). She starts school in a few weeks as well. This is her Senior year in college.

School should last from Labor Day to Memorial day. This starting in mid-August is crap. I bet the kids would take a few less days at Christmas, scrap MLK Day and Fall Break to get a few more days of summer. I know I would.

I remember riding my big white Free Spirit ten speed (with the curved racing handlebars) around town. There was nowhere I would not go. Going to the pool, flirting and having a blast. But the days get shorter and we cannot stop time. In a couple of months the first snowflakes will fall.

The boy faces a tough decision. Should he sleep late, his last day of summer or get up and go wild as long as possible. I bet he votes for sleep. Teenagers...

August 11, 2008

Another week

It was a gorgeous weekend here at the old homestead, clear and wonderful. The highs were in the 80s and the lows in the sixties. The humidity was nonexistent. The tourism board would be ecstatic if we could have such weather all the time. Of course there is nothing to see or do here, but perfect weather would be a plus. We have had but two days over ninety degrees all summer. Normally July and August are so hot you can barely stand it. The people of the south complain, but is there really a big difference between 98 degrees with 95 percent humidity and 95 degrees and 95 percent humidity? That is our normal August. Not that I am complaining, but I am just wondering how the Algorites, the global warming/climate change worshipers answer this? I continue to wonder, are we moving towards an alternate life style, one that could destroy our economy, based on a 1990s heat wave?

The youngest wrecked his bicycle Saturday. He ripped the hide off his left hand, elbow and knee. He is going to have a tough time in tennis the next few days.

I did yard work over the weekend. I trimmed bushes, pulled weeds and hacked away a bit more of the jungle. I hate yard work. If I had my way we would kill it all and pave it over. Or at least plant it in grass.

Happy Monday, get to work.

This site has become so boring. Why do you continue to come here?

August 9, 2008

Weekend Funny

This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year
old is. They think so logically.

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.
She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather
the building materials for his home. She read . 'and so the pig went
up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me
sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'

The teacher paused then asked the class:

'And what do you think the man said?'

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly ...'I
think the man would have said - 'Well, I'll be damned!! A talking

The teacher had to leave the room.

August 8, 2008

Olympic Fever

I just do not have it. My interest in this year's Olympic Games is at an all time low. I will likely watch a little, and get misty-eyed when the old Stars and Stripes is hoisted above the victory platform. Overall, I am just not too interested.

August 7, 2008

A quality post

I spent yesterday sorting parts. Wow, I had fun. Afterward, I spent a half an hour on the phone with the President of my company telling him what I thought. I have a strong background in manufacturing. One of the earliest lessons pounded into me by the Quality Gurus is that quality must me a measurable aspect. You cannot measure attributes by looks or feel. Any subjective measurement is not a measurement at all. I told the "man" yesterday's sorting was a waste of time. I am not sure he liked what I said.

Yesterday we were sorting by "feel". That is right, we rotated the widgets and determined if they were good or not based on a subjective 'too easy' or 'too hard' to turn. The old manufacturing guy in me recoiled at the sight of parts being scrapped because of a subjective feel. Oh, I am confident some of the scrapped parts were bad, I am also confident we threw away good parts and let unacceptable widgets through to the assembly line. Other people are coming today to continue the sort based on a 'here is a bad part/here is a good part' examples. That leaves a lot of gray area. Depending on the individual those parts on the edge will be passed, or all be failed. That is no way to determine quality.

The whole exercise is a complete waste of time and money. I believe in customer satisfaction, but spending cash on needless tasks is just a feel-good measure, nothing is accomplished except spending money. I think Dimocrits must be running our quality department.

August 5, 2008

I can read minds

Sometimes I fancy I can read other people's minds. I had a flash of inspiration as I looked at a picture of Green Bay Packer Aaron Rodgers. Here is what I read in his mind: Motherfucker.


A major thunderstorm rolled through in the very early morning hours and rumbles can still be heard in the distance. This storm had some of the most awesome lightening and the thunder was like a carpet bombing by B-52s. The whole house shook. Storms do not bother me, and I sleep great when it is raining, but thunder of that magnitude will wake you up.

I am pouring coffee down my gullet and perusing a few blogs between answering emails. I have a huge analysis to do later today, and my expenses are due. It looks like another day trying to balance work and play. Too bad the work has to come first.

edit: 9:30 am. The sky is so dark and rain is so heavy the street lights are on. You would think it was dusk. If I was a good correspondent, I would provide pictures. Here we are, do I take a picture, go through the trouble of trying to post it, or do I have a brownie? You lose. I win, I get to have a brownie. Sucks to be you, I guess.

August 4, 2008

On the one hand...

A mentor once told me that I have to remember that people are basically stupid. That sentiment becomes ironclad when you consider how some people buy into the Democratic Party ideology. Consider the position that Tax Cuts only help the rich. First, about 1/3 of the poorest Americans pay no taxes, so clearing cutting zero only equals zero. They claim tax cuts do nothing to help the economy or middle class families, even though the concept was first championed by none other than JFK. In almost the same breath they proposed "tax rebates" (even for those who did not pay taxes) as an effort to kick start a sluggish economy. Let me understand, taking my money and then giving it back is good, not taking my money is bad? Now The Barack is campaigning on a promise to give me more of my money! Whoo. But he will repeal the GW tax cuts because letting me keep my money is bad. Can I get a program here, I am really confused. Then today in my local ragsheet a columnist says the GW tax cuts only help the rich, there was no "trickle down". The previous page had a story that the economy is hurting the wealthiest citizens and that results in workers losing their jobs. I guess only bad things trickle down?

If you are a Democrat, please comment on what about your party's positions is actually good, or makes sense, or does not involve taking the fruit of one person's labors and giving it to another...Please?

What's Cookin'?

I just tossed a chicken pot pie into the oven for lunch. I have not had a pot pie for years. I hope it is good.

What are you eating today?

A rebuttal

Erin O'Brien cracks me up. I enjoy the shit out of her writing. I do not always agree with her though (and that is OK).

Here is my rebuttal to this post of hers:

The Obama is a lightweight and his wife is a bitch.

Oh, and I am not real keen on his choice of friends and advisers. A criminal, a bigot, and a couple of admitted terrorists come to mind.

August 1, 2008

Friday Five

Here is a new take on the old Friday Five feature you all hate so much.

I will name five songs that fit a certain theme. You see if you can add to the list. Find the common theme and suggest more songs that fit:

1. The Raven by the Alan Parsons Project
2. Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd
3. Fly Like an Eagle by the Steve Miller Band (I hate this song)
4. Snowbird by Anne Murray
5. Surfin' Bird by the Trashmen

Here is the last as heard in the soundtrack from Full Metal Jacket ( four stars out of four on the HB movie rating chart).

Bow down to The Obama

Maybe I need some anger management classes. So much in life pisses me off. Dumb asses at work, morons on the road, people at WalMart. Somehow I bet they are all gonna vote for The Obama.

The wife is a decorating mode. She wants new furniture, and we really need some. Let me go on the record and point out that I would almost rather go car shopping than furniture shopping. The good news?--we are broke so we won't be buying any furniture soon! Two kids in college will do that to you. Here is a side note that will not interest you, with the big banks all making so many bad loans and buying up bad mortgages they are making credit much tighter. Non-government backed (private)student loans are much harder to get.

Now how did we get to talking about college expenses? The wife is moving furniture, hanging different pictures etc., since she can't have new furniture. That means I am filling nail holes and preparing to touch up paint.

I need to mow the yard. It looks like I am about to head again into battle with the noxious weeds and dandelions. We battled to a standoff earlier this spring, but they snuck through my imaginary Maginot Line and are ready to erupt in a Tet-like attack. The sneaky bastard weeds know I am busy this week. These weeds have made a steady assault on the flower beds and are now into the yard again. The damn bushes and shrubs are in need of a trim as well. Let me also add that I would love to strangle the previous owner with the f-ing vines she planted all around the house. Removing them is going to be a multi-year project. I am almost to the point of spraying industrial strength killer on the whole mess. There are dozens of perennials out there and I hate to kill them. There is something in bloom all the time. But several years of neglect have allowed the vines and bushes and weeds to gain the upper hand.

I am off to volunteer at the ball field. I will be manning the back gate selling and taking tickets from 9:45 to 2:00. Stop by and say hello if you are in the neighborhood.
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