October 30, 2009

Help me Rhonda

Seriously, if the goal is to insure that small percentage of Americans who do not currently have insurance and can not afford it, wouldn't it be much simpler and far, far, far cheaper to just develop a Medicaide-type or food stamp-type program to give those people a hand up until they can get their own insurance? I have to think we can insure 12 million people (all that are going to be helped by the monstrosity winding its way through Congress) for much less than ONE TRILLION dollars. Look at that again folks:

$1,000,000,000,000. That is twelve zeros. Do the math, there are about 350,000,000 people in this country. That is around $2,857 for every man, woman, and child. I could get some mighty fine insurance for the $14,000 my family will be burdened with in future taxes -- not counting the interest on the debt. Can you liberal types explain again how the Government can run health care more efficiently?

I ask again, besides the core requirements as outlined in the Constitution (for example - Defense), is there a SINGLE thing the Government does better, cheaper and more efficiently than the private sector?

Friday Covers

Here is an interesting cover by Yes. Yes put this on their first album. I was hoping to find a video of the BBC live performance from 1969, it rocks a bit harder than this "Old Guy" version of Yes. In the original, Buford pounds the drums mercilessly and Peter Banks plays a powerful guitar. This version will have to work.

This version is closer to the original BBC recording with other Beatles riffs tossed into the guitar solos:

October 29, 2009


I am sitting here in my favorite airport - Douglas Int'l in Charlotte. All airports suck, but this one sucks less than most.

I have a couple of hours to kill before my flight home. I thought I would post a quick word from my phone. Most people do not look too attractive when they eat. What is so hard to understand about "walk left, stand right" when you are on a moving sidewalk? Why do airports feel the need to gouge you on food and drinks? We are a captive audience and it is a pathetic practice.

I am not the physical specimen you Imagine, but there is no excuse to weigh 300 or 400 lbs. If you need two seatbelt extensions you have a problem.

If your bag will not fit in the overhead, pushing harder will not make your bag smaller, nor the opening bigger.

I miss the chicks in tight low cut shirts. Short skirts and boots are a suitable substitute.

I tried to find a certain Andrew Jackson museum yesterday. I was unable to find it. My wife asked why I did not stop and ask directions. Can you imagine?

I hope none of you caught that pathetic post I had up for a while last night. Beer and blogging don't mix.


October 28, 2009

Sweet Dreams

Joe Lieberman, you are my hero. Now it is time for Evan Bayh to step up.

I rarely dream, but the last few weeks I have had repeated dreams about food. The kind that seem to last all night. Take last night for example. I dreamed I bought a large tenderloin to make breaded tenderloin. I sliced the loin thinly and was just ready to pound out the cuts when I "discovered" the tenderloin was a beef tenderloin, not a pork tenderloin. I was in a panic on what to do. I woke, padded to the bathroom. I got a drink, and went back to my fine king
-sized bed at the Hilton Garden Inn. I dreamed about the damn beef tenderloin screw-up again. I kept waking and dreaming about how to save the expensive beef tenderloin I had cut into thin slices.

Current and former psych majors step up and help me here.

October 27, 2009


Where to start? The Government is going to take over your health care. I can only offer the Cassandra-esque warning: be careful for what you wish. I could ask for the Constitutional authority for this take-over, but those who support the notion either have no understanding of our Constitution or do not care. I could point out the Democrat lie regarding the profits of the health insurers, but again supporters of this leftist take-over do not care.

I could ask under what Constitutional authority does the Government decide the pay of working Americans? See above. Congress is concerned about Executive pay and "Golden Parachutes", but why does no one question the healthcare and full pay for life your elected representatives voted themselves?

The Republican Party will get no more donations from me. I will support Conservative-minded candidates. If Snow and other RINOs continue to receive even one dollar of NRP funds, the party is dead to me. It has always been so, but with emphasis I tell you Republican Party. my politics is conservatism first, party way down the list.

The time is coming when we will pay for the out-of-control Government. We will pay in tax increases. We will pay in higher gasoline. We will pay in inflation and lower earning power. The Democrats will cry the answer is more government, and the sheep will bleat and go along.

I ask you voters of Obama and Democrats, how will you explain to your children and grandchildren what you have done to their country?

October 26, 2009

Windfall, or not

The wife had me bring in an old antique washstand from the garage this weekend. She wants to use it to store bills and papers and whatnot. In a previous life she used it store bills and papers and whatnot, so it was full of important stuff like extra school pictures, 20 year-old tax forms, the papers from when we bought our first home in 1986 and when we sold said house in 1989. You get the idea.

In the bottom drawer, in a plain brown envelope she found some old shares of stock she was given when the bank she worked for was sold. She was given additional stock when THAT bank was sold. Since that time the bank has merged at least two more times. She may have some valuable stock. Or not. As there only about 8 shares total we are not talking much money, but free money is free money. There is only upside. Since we did not know we had said shares, if their value is zero, we did not lose anything. If they have some value, we only gain.

I guess it was worth carting in the old piece of furniture after all. Now I have to figure out how to determine if the shares are worth anything.

Gun Control

Clickee makee bigee

h/t Otter

October 24, 2009

On second thought

I think I will take today off from the internet.

October 23, 2009

This is my life

I visited a customer this week who is having trouble with my widgets. They are getting reports of field failures. My customer sent some failed product back for evaluation and the widgets failed for lack of lubrication. Most of you understand that metal on metal without lube is a short-lived situation.

My customer admits they were not assembling and lubricating the widgets according to recommended practice. Let me make this clear -- the widgets are failing because the manufacturer assembled them wrong. Now the end user is very concerned about buying products with my widgets. We will have to undergo an audit at our plant and several end user visits to convince the end user we are a quality widget. It will not matter because it is our widgets that keep failing, while our competitor does not when they replace my product in the field.

The competitor product does not fail because the end user follows proper procedures when he reinstalls the competitor's widgets.

I am likely going to lose a significant amount of business because the end user is roughly 40% of my customer's customer base. My customer will not admit to the end user they have no idea how to assemble their product. If I tell the end user my customer is an idiot, I will lose the business.

My company is going to spend thousands of dollars to convince an end user we make a good product. He will only believe what he sees -- our products keep failing. When he demands the supplier (my customer) switch to the competitor, there will be no more failures since my customer is now following proper assembly procedures. The problem will stop and all will accept that it was switching widget suppliers that solved the problem. The real solution was my customer began to assemble the parts correctly.

Some days I hate my life.


It was a dark and stormy night. The wind blew the fallen leaves as the rain lashed the windows. I am not starting a story, that is the way it was.

The wife and I went with some friends to eat dinner last night. We went to a local pizza joint. The conversation was good, the food OK, and the service was terrible. We are going to visit our oldest friends in the world tonight. I am becoming a regular social butterfly.

On the topic of being social, the beautiful and talented Jean at Pondering has gifted me a blog award. She is too sweet. With this award comes a MeMe. I usually refuse to play along, but what the heck, I have not done a MeMe for a few years, and Jean is too nice for me to refuse. And it is Friday. Why not?

Where is your cell phone? right next to me -- my new iPhone!
Your hair? short.
Your mother? alive and kicking
Your father? alive and being kicked
Your favorite food? beef and noodles or bacon
Your dream last night? none
Your favorite drink? lemonade
Your dream/goal? to be independently wealthy
What room are you in? office / spare bedroom
Your hobby? reading.
Your fear? snakes
Where do you want to be in 6 years? alive
Where were you last night? home and Cagney's pizza King
Something that you aren't? good looking
Muffins? love muffins
Wish list item? motorcycle
Where did you grow up? Indiana
Last thing you did? make coffee
What are you wearing? red T-shirt and jeans
Your TV? 52 inch big screen
Your pets? none
Friends? few
Your life? good
Your mood? happy.
Missing someone? my boy who is at college
Vehicle? shitty Ford Taurus -- but it is free
Something you're not wearing? shoes, socks
Your favorite store? grocery
Your favorite color? red
When was the last time you laughed? last night
Last time you cried? ? when my grandma died
Your best friend? my wife
One place that I go to over and over? North Carolina
One person who emails me regularly? Work
Favorite place to eat? home

I bet you feel as if you know me better already.

Thanks for the award, Jean.

October 22, 2009

Be very afraid

If you read anything today, read this article.

Is this the Hope and Change you voted for?

Is this the America you envision?

Can you man up and admit that I told you so?

Seasonal Creep

Every year we lament the seasonal creep. Stores have Christmas Trees on display before Halloween, holding off until after Thanksgiving is a tradition long gone from the retail world. Soon Back-to-school will mark the advent of the Christmas shopping season.

Yesterday I witnessed a seasonal creep situation that was beyond my imagination. This catalog was an affront to all taste. The wife regularly receives the Eddie Bauer catalog. Yesterday's version was the "Spring Preview Edition". I kid you not. It had shorts and jackets and swim suits. Here we are just barely fall, not even winter yet,and the folks at EB are touting the Spring Collection?


October 21, 2009

Dear President Obama

I am aware I did not earn a degree from a prestigious Ivy League University. I do not have a law degree. My little Bachelor of Arts from tiny Wabash College is probably not too impressive. I was in the bottom half of my class. I did not spend years voting "present" in the Illinois legislature.

I spent time working with the Little League and Babe Ruth and the local Boys Club. I volunteered with the Boy Scouts instead of working as a Community Organiser.

I may not know which fork to use, and my suits may be cheap. I have never had Kobe beef, and sometimes I eat at the Olive Garden. I like beer. I think popcorn is the perfect snack food.

I may not be the best typist or speller. I may think puns are funny and I have watched NASCAR races on occasion. I live in fly-over country. You probably consider me a rube, a hick.

But I know this, Beck and Hannity and yes, Olbermann and Mathews are all opinion shows. Claiming Fox is biased based on their OPINION shows is ridiculous. Should we discount everything on MSNBC because of Matthews?

Man up, you pussy. If you can't take a little criticism, you chose the wrong profession. Your real beef is that one network has the balls to investigate ACORN, check the details of your extremest advisers and call you out on your untruths. Fox does not fawn and kiss your sorry ass and you do not like it. If you got 1/75th the criticism GW Bush took daily in his eight years in office, I suspect your could be found curled up in a corner, thumb in mouth, crying like a little baby.

Get over it, man. Sack it up. Spend a few minutes and follow the advice of a fellow Democrat, Harry Truman, instead of MAO. Here is a hint -- Google "heat" and "kitchen".

Still true today

Let our banner proclaim our belief in a free market as the greatest provider for the people.

Let us also call for an end to the nit-picking, the harassment and over-regulation of business and industry which restricts expansion and our ability to compete in world markets.

Let us explore ways to ward off socialism, not by increasing government’s coercive power, but by increasing participation by the people in the ownership of our industrial machine.

Our banner must recognize the responsibility of government to protect the law-abiding, holding those who commit misdeeds personally accountable.

And we must make it plain to international adventurers that our love of peace stops short of “peace at any price.”

We will maintain whatever level of strength is necessary to preserve our free way of life.

A political party cannot be all things to all people. It must represent certain fundamental beliefs which must not be compromised to political expediency, or simply to swell its numbers.

I do not believe I have proposed anything that is contrary to what has been considered Republican principle. It is at the same time the very basis of conservatism. It is time to reassert that principle and raise it to full view. And if there are those who cannot subscribe to these principles, then let them go their way.
--Ronald Reagan

Any politician that aspires to be elected can guarantee success by espousing --and believing-- these sentiments.

October 20, 2009

Hello Pot, meet Kettle

This weekend, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel and chief political advisor David Axelrod derided Fox News on the Sunday talk shows.

Emanuel said the cable network is "not a news organization so much as it has a perspective." Axelrod claimed that the channel's programming is "really not news, it's pushing a point of view."

Really? And CNN taking Saturday Night Live to task for not presenting facts in a skit about Obama is objective news gathering? Did CNN "fact check" SNL when they were lampooning Sarah Palin?

chirp, chirp

October 19, 2009

Didja miss me?

Hola boys and girls. I took the weekend off from blogging. I made no posts, read no blogs. I am sorry to say it felt pretty good. I did miss you though. Yes, believe it or not I am talking to you. I enjoy the heck out of your writing , and when I do not read what you have to say, I feel like I am missing a conversation with an old friend.

A big thank you to Doug Ross for the link. If you are not reading Doug, you are missing a vital link to get the politics of the day.

Here it is Monday already, work beckons.

October 16, 2009

The true nature of women

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news.
You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the
waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. 'Well, daughter, we
women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go
so well.. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head
to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were
some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of
the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were
celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending
end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.' The friends were aghast, gave the
woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered,
Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your
friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that??'

'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'

October 15, 2009

Why you wish you were me, Volume XXII

Yesterday I found myself winging my way to Northern Wisconsin. I scored a very cheap flight and I was not up to the 8 plus hour one-way drive. Remember, I have been sick -- it will be important later.

I arrived about 20 minutes early to my appointment and was sitting in the car checking messages etc. Suddenly, I felt that familiar twisting cramping rumble deep in my guts. I tried to deny it, the traveler's worst nightmare.*, **

I discussed my business with my customer, as my bowels twisted and gripped and squeezed like an anaconda in my intestines. Luckily, the fates kept the machinations silent. They would make me pay for this small gift later.

I made from the customer and to the rental car. I was in pain and needed to find a restroom stat. I had had some bouts of diarrhea during my illness last week, but nothing like this.

I drove couple blocks to a Dairy Queen I had seen coming into town. I ducked in the back door and into the one-holer designated "MEN". As I flipped on the light and locked the door, I was it by a coughing fit (remember I have just recovered from pneumonia?). It is difficult to concentrate on squeezing your ass cheeks together when you upper body is wracked with coughs. The sphincter is a tricky SOB, and just when my attention wandered for a mere second, it acted like its name sake; an asshole.

You cannot eat soup with a fork and the sphincter was not designed to hold liquids either. As I stumbled toward the toilet, my bowels erupted in a hot fecal explosion of Mt. St. Helens proportions. My pants were half off and I hovered over the seat as a brown rain of turd lava rained down.

I opened my eyes to a scene of devastation. There was shit all over the toilet, all over the seat, all over the floor, all in my tighty whities and on my pants and up my back. I settled onto the seat, crabs and germs be damned, as another explosion rocked the Dairy Queen men's room.

I shrugged out of my shoes, and tried to pull the filled underwear out of the pants without spilling more of the ass soup on my Dockers. I began the long tedious cleaning of the Dairy Queen men's room, myself and my clothing. The tightly whities brownies I buried in the trash. I used wet towels and most of the available ass wipe to clean the floor, bowl and seat. I got my self cleaned too. The pants had a spot about four inches around on the upper backside, that I could cover with my shirt tail. Somehow the front of my shirt tail was splattered with liquid shit the color of Georgia clay. I washed them as well as possible in the sink.

I used much of the soap and shrugged back into my coat and headed back to the rental. I drove to the nearest city searching for a place to get some clothing. The wet pants were uncomfortable on my bare ass.

I went into a Kohls in Manitowoc and grabbed some jeans, underwear and a cheap T-shirt. I felt as if all the shoppers were staring, my shit-stained shirt tail tucked in the front, the back left out to cover my backside. I changed in the car and headed into the store once again as my guts began to rumble once more. Had I driven, I could have just checked into a hotel. I considered it anyway.

After I stunk up the Kohls men's room with a smaller crapfest, I packed my dirty clothing into the Kohl's sack, wrapping everything well. Luckily I had not brought my laptop, so I could put the sack into my briefcase. I said a silent prayer that the TSA assholes would choose today to search my bag.

I made it home around 10:30 without further incident. I took a quick shower and threw my clothing into the washer.

Let me use this opportunity to apologize to the fine employees of the City redacted Dairy Queen.

* Except maybe waking up minus one kidney in a hotel bathtub filled with ice. **

** Or discovering the hot chick you picked up in the bar at the Airport Holiday Inn in Portland is really a Dude. Not that that has happened to me, but I hear things.

October 14, 2009

Wondering aloud

If health care reform is needed so badly right now, why do none of the provision take effect until 2013?

October 13, 2009

Let the old Hoosierboy help you

Hello there! Come on in a pull up a chair at the table of Common Sense. Do not worry, this whole health care thing is simple. You see, the first rule of the house is that there is nothing free in life -- nothing. When the President, or Congress , or the newspaper tries to tell you we can cover 30 million, 20 million, or even 100 people's health care, health insurance --whatever -- you need to realize someone has to pay the bill.

When the collective "THEY" try to tell you we can do all of this for 800 billion, but it will not add to the deficit, how do you think this will happen? There will be increase. Someone is going to pay more, and that someone is probably you and I.

No matter what those idiots in Detroit believe, the Government cannot produce money. They can only get money by taking it from you and I. Obama cannot give it to us. Your Senator cannot get it for you. The Feds only get their money from tax payers.

If anyone tells you otherwise, they are ignorant or liars.

October 12, 2009

Monday Morning

It is a beautiful day here in the Hoosier Heartland. I woke this morning feeling fine and refreshed, hardly a cough on my tired chest. I felt pretty good yesterday, only I lacked the energy to do much of anything.

Monday finds me so far behind at work you cannot imagine. Emails are stacked up and I have lots of travel on tap for this week.

Maybe more later. Thanks again for all of you fine words of comfort. I have the best readers in the blog world.

October 10, 2009

Bold Predictions

Good morning blog readers. Can you tell I have an extra kick in my step? I feel much better today. The anti-biotic must be working. My super $135 bottle of cough syrup has me coughing much less and sleeping better. I slept most of yesterday, and that is what I have planned for today as well. I DVRd some Esther Williams flicks, so I can go to sleep this afternoon with visions of those long legs in my mind...

In other news, I have searched deep into my drug-influenced crystal ball and I can already tell you who will win the Nobel Peace Prize next year. It will be Miss Delaware. She, like the President, would love to see a nuke-free world and her fondest wish is for World Peace. Apparently, according to the Nobel committee, hoping for peaceand asking Iran and the crazy NOK to stop building NUKE bombs is all that is needed to grab what was once deemed a great honor.

Yoko must be pissed. The Nobel people ignored John Lennon. He said it best "All we need is love...All together now...All we need is love." Plus he asked us all to "just give peace a chance". Maybe Lennon will share the prize (posthumously) with Miss Delaware n 2010?

If we are going to give the Nobel Prize for uttering meaningless, empty slogans, shouldn't we at least consider the Sham Wow guy? At least he delivers.

In other predictions, I expect The Obama will be a surprise recipient of the Best Actor Oscar at the 2010 Academy Awards for his role of running as a centrist then governing from the far, far left left. In addition, he will be given a lifetime achievement award for his convincing portrayal of a person who has actually never achieved anything except running for office...never mind, that is not an act.

October 9, 2009

Come to find out I really am sick

I broke down and went to the priority Care clinic last night. After a breathing treatment, an x-ray, a shot in my left buttock, and two prescriptions to get filled on the way home I learned I have pneumonia.

It sure is good to be me.

October 8, 2009


Miss me? It appears I may live. While still in possession of a wrenching cough, I feel better over all. The good news is the wife hacked half of the night! Who says I am not a giving person?

October 6, 2009

Urgent Update

I had to cancel an appointment today. I am not happy about it. I could not in good conscious go to see a customer and hack and cough and sneeze and snot all over his office. Especially when there is no significant issues to discuss.

I finally moved to the couch to sleep last night since I could not quit coughing.

Yes, I am taking some over-the-counter stuff.

In the last hour or so my left nostril has begun to leak copious amounts of snot. My ears feel like they are full of bugs stuff too.

It looks like a full blown cold is setting in.

I know most of you wake every day with a prayer on your lips to your God that you could be more like me. It is humbling, to say the least. I do, however, understand your desires.

I would skip that prayer today.

October 5, 2009

Burn a candle or two in my honor

I know, I am late getting a post up today. Sometimes work gets in the way of hobbies. Of far more importance, I think I am getting sick. I am developing a severe cough and now I have a Don Pardo deep voice. Laryngitis is just around the corner. Since I am a supreme human being, I can tough it out. I am sure most of you mere mortals would be hospitalized already.

October 3, 2009

The Gomer Pyle Media

Surprise, surprise, surprise. Every time we get bad economic news the media is shocked. It is as if Gomer Pyle is working behind the scenes to screw up everything. Unemployment numbers are "unexpectedly worse" -- Surprise, surprise, surprise. "The stock market is unexpectedly down" - surprise, surprise, surprise. "The dollar is unexpectedly weakening" -- surprise, surprise, surprise. No matter what economic indicator we use, it is a huge surprise it is not improving.

After nearly a year of bad news, can we safely say we are disappointed there is no improvement? Is it still "unexpected" that unemployment has not dropped? No matter what the economic news the headlines are the same. What evidence beyond hope that things will change is there that would lead any journalist to believe the economic news will improve? Only the most die-hard ostriches with their heads buried believe the stimulus stimulated anything but the burgeoning debt. Only the most ardent leftist still believes the Government can create jobs -- it does not produce anything!

Let me grab my crystal ball and offer you a few headlines of the future:

Unemployment Unexpectedly Remains at Nearly 20% as Jobs Leave Country in Wake of Energy Taxes.

Government Run Health Care Unexpectedly Results in Long Wait Times and Rationing of Care

Iran Unexpectedly Nukes Israel, Despite President Obama's Offer of Dialogue. Mullahs vow USA Next.

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Just so it will not be unexpected -- I told you so.

October 2, 2009

Breaking News

I guess the bloom has worn off the rose abroad as well. The Obama failed to charm the IOC:

Chicago has been eliminated from contention to host the 2016 Olympics.

ESPN.com news services

COPENHAGEN, Denmark -- In a stunning turn, Chicago was eliminated in the first round of voting for the 2016 Olympics.

Tokyo was eliminated in the second round, leaving Rio de Janeiro and Madrid as the final two candidates for the 2016 Games.

Every pundit thought with The Obama and Oprah pushing for the US, it was a shoo-in for the Americans, with Rio a close second. Hahahaha Chicago was the first one out.

Today's earworm

This is just a snippet from the middle of this epic song. YES -- you either love them or hate them. There is no middle. YES was one of the founders of progressive rock and certainly are the longest lived of the genre (along with Rush, who came along later). Too bad the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame sees rap and punk bands (and ABBA) more worthy and influential to the world of Rock.

Here is a bonus cut. Some of you will remember this one:

Enjoy your Friday.

October 1, 2009

You lie

I assume that we can expect the House of Representatives to offer Joe Wilson an apology.

Read this

If you are a Senator who is interested in stopping illegals from using our super-sweet everybody wants some free health care, why would you oppose this amendment?

Never fear, evil bigoted right wing conspirators, I am sure The Obama will veto the bill since he promised he would not sign anything that lets illegals participate in our health care insurance reform.


And I know this guy in Nigeria who has come into a lot of money and just needs a bank account in the US to make us all rich.......

It still seems like yesterday

This is not a repeat. I have not lost my mind. Today is my middle child's birthday -- the monumental number 21. He has some major partying on tap, if he has even one of my genes in his DNA. This one is my artist, a musician, a college student, a liberal. That is OK. He will come around in time. Or not. We need ideas from both the left and right to make our country work. Ideas from the right make us strong and prosperous as a nation and individuals. Ideas from the left show us the wrong way to do things.

I related the story yesterday of the birth of my youngest child. The wife pleaded with the doctor to make sure the baby was not born on my oldest son's birthday. The result is we have back-to-back birthdays!

Like all my kids, this one is my pride and joy. Happiest of days, Buddy.

This beer is for you. Happy 21st!
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