March 30, 2015

Every day I become more confused

Can anyone explain why I need to show a picture ID at the bank to DEPOSIT cash? I get why I need to prove I'm me to take money from my checking account but what does it matter who deposits money into my account? All the teller can explain is that "it is a new requirement".

Big Brother is here, we are just too stupid to care and powerless to stop it.

March 29, 2015

Slip sliding away

Most observers believe Governor Mike Pence has long had aspirations to occupy the White House. He is often mentioned as a Dark Horse candidate.

With one bold stroke of a pen he signed those aspirations away.

March 27, 2015

paranoid eccentrics rarely make good neighbors

It appears we are facing a cold, rather unpleasant early spring day.

No Friday music for you.  Boo hoo.

I stole the title of this post from a line I heard in an episode of Dateline that was playing in the background last evening. I wish I could credit the proper persons.

March 26, 2015

Want my vote?

The next guy who says "There outta be a law" should have his tightie whities pulled so far up his butt crack you can wrap the elastic waistband around his noggin like an Arab's turban. He should get a titty-twist, a red-belly, a bitch slap, and a steel-toed boot planted deep in the groin that it buries his tiny testes somewhere near the liver. It is not the role of Government to protect your feelings, you have no right to never be offended. It is not the role of society to prevent misdemeanor wrongs to your ego.

Men (I mean that in the generic sense, don't get offended. See what I mean?) band together in a society to protect themselves, to create common rules and organization. Don't steal my stuff and I won't steal yours. Don't murder me or mine. This is my house and my field and over there is your house and your field. Let's all drive on the same side of the road when heading east so we don't crash into each other.  Don't grind up your dead grandma and sell it to me as sausage. Let us codify these rules and the penalties if you don't follow them.

The rules should be as few as possible so that you and I can live and work and pursue happiness in the best way possible. Of course there is always some fucker who thinks he should set the rules. The asshole who thinks he is smarter or better or wants a way to take your stuff without penalty. They like to call themselves King, or Dear Leader or Democrat.

You know those people, they were always making up rules, even as kids. You can't climb up the slide. You have been on the swing long enough. You shouldn't eat the yellow snow, you can't use the jump rope as a whip. Hey, you better not aim that BB gun at me.

The damn hippies who complained about signs, signs, everywhere signs have made more rules than anyone. Do this, don't do that is worse than ever. How is that for irony?

Just because you got elected does not mean you need to think up more rules to justify your presence in the political office. For example, I would be fine with the return of the Obama who just voted "present" all of the time.

March 25, 2015

Seems to me

The Religious Freedom law wending its way to the Indiana Governor's desk should have been easy for the Legislature to write. All they had to do is dig up some of the Jim Crow laws from the Deep and not so Deep South one hundred years ago.

Carry on, Dooley

Five after five found me awake this morning. I tried to fall back into Morpheous' warm embrace to no avail. And now my sluggish brain is telling my fingers to type sentences I would never utter aloud under any circumstances. I'm not sure what is going on around here. Reading back over the past week's entries, it is clear the last few posts have been a bit strange. Stick with me. Like I said about yesterday's lunch burrito; this too shall pass.

Think of it this way; you get what you pay for around here. This is a capitalist blog.

March 24, 2015

At the moment

The sky is gray in the weak early morning sun. I look out the window at the branches of the maple tree heavy with buds. The ash on the other side of the drive is as dead as it was last spring. There will be no Lazarus-type recovery, despite my wife's fervent belief. It needs to be cut and chopped and fed to Fargo's wood chipper.  The garbage truck is banging the bins out by the curb. It's mechanical arm making the hydraulic groan our great grandchildren will recognize as the battle cry of their robot overlords. My coffee mug is almost empty, the contents just above lukewarm in temperature. The morning house is quiet without the sounds of my wife's soft melodious voice or the cooing and cries of the baby. There is no TV or radio, just the soft tap of my fingertip on the iPad keyboard. Tiny birds sing and flit in the tree branches. I don't think they are sparrows, they seem smaller. Bird watching is not my hobby. I don't know, nor do I really care, what breed they claim at the annual bird convention. Patches of yesterday's snow lurk in the flowerbeds. The green of new grass pokes gingerly through the brown blades of last years distant lawn. My disgust and disdain for our politicians and bureaucrats remains high. I fart in the general direction of Washington five times a day whenever I imagine an unheard muezzin calls the Muslim faithful to prayer. We all express ourselves in our own way.

March 23, 2015

Several words strung into sort of semi-coherent sentences

Happy Monday. I am at it early this morning. I have already written my call reports for my business trip last week and updated my customer files.

We are off to a chilly start today and the forecast calls for snow flurries tonight. Sigh.

My daughter the teacher has a snow make-up day today then is on spring break the rest of the week.  That means the granddaughter won't be here all day after today this week. Sigh. She is a real doll and I like having her around.

I noticed my neighbors have put their house up for sale. They seem nice, but I will not miss their barking howling dog. Sorry, but a dog that lives outside all of the time is not a pet, it is a farm animal. That is true even if you live in the 'burbs.

It appears the 2016 elections have begun. Sigh. To much, too early. The only bright side is that Indiana is usually not a battleground state, so we are not as inundated with the political ads as some other places.

It is nice to hear song birds singing in the morning, but I wish they would quit shitting on my car.

March 22, 2015


i started this piece o'crap blog 10 years ago today. This post 4.819.. There are 83 posts in draft stage, mostly for good reason. If you have been visiting here for very long I am certain you can imagine how awful those 83 abortive attempts must be.

We have had some good times here. A ton of fellow bloggers have influenced me greatly. Some are dead, some have moved on to other social media, some have just quit blogging altogether. Some of my regulars have been along for a long time. I offer a sincere thank you to anyone who bothers to stop and read my musings, no matter if today is your first time or if you have slogged through 4,735 published posts.

There was a time when my little corner of the blogging universe regularly drew 150 or more readers a day. Some posts would generate more than 20 comments. That was when blogging was cool, before Facebook or Twitter. That said, I kind of like where the blog is these days. We have become old friends sitting down to a beer or cup of coffee, discussing what comes to mind.

When I wrote my first post, my daughter was about to graduate high school. Now she is a mother. My middle boy was just learning to drive. My youngest was playing Little League. The past decade has been chock full of life, and thank you for coming along.

March 21, 2015

Of course

From Russia With Love is the best Bond movie. You may think otherwise, but you would be wrong.

It is also the best Bond book.

March 20, 2015

Three things

1. Why any Jew votes Democrat defies all logic

2. At the time of the Equinox, you can stand an egg on its end. True.

3. Here is today's Friday music:

Listen. Enjoy.

Happy Spring

What's up, Doc?

Off to a regularly scheduled appointment with the doctor. I never changed docs when I moved 18 months ago. Now I have an hour plus drive through rush hour traffic to get to my "gotta have the very first appointment of the day". I seem to get dumber as I get older.

More later. Maybe.

March 18, 2015

Baseball and Buddy

Back on the road again. Yesterday, I raced across central Illinois before arcing north to pick up US 20 at Rockford. I motored westward as the road snaked around and over hills and valleys.   Stunning vistas of undulating prairie opened through my windshield.  The terrain reminded me of the hills of southern Indiana or Kentucky, minus the trees. I crossed the Mighty Mississippi on a high bridge at not-so-beautiful Dubuque. I have customer visits scheduled this morning, but if the weather cooperates, and time permits, I have a inkling I might see the Field of Dreams and/or the Buddy Holly crash site before I head up into Minnesota. Making sure I accomplish all I need to in my customer visits is my first priority. Still, what is the point of travel if you can't see cool stuff?

You, with your hand in the air. What is your question? Oh, yes, I did pass through historic Galena. No, I did not stop.  I visited here before several years ago. Stayed in Galena as a matter of fact. I did Grant's home, drove through downtown. Walked around a bit. I believe that stop is there in the archives somewhere.  This time I drove right on through.

I visited Galena way back in 2006.  See what a good fellow I am I looked it up for you.
Here is the post

March 17, 2015

there he is

I don't do St Paddy's Day. I'm not Irish.

Likewise Cinco de Mayo is just May 5th

Sorry get your fake Irish elsewhere

March 16, 2015

holy water and pecan pie

We spent the weekend in the northern 'burbs of the Windy City. We were there for the occasion of my granddaughter's baptism.  We enjoyed a nice dinner at a Mexican chain restaurant Saturday night with my son-in-law's family. I was a very good boy and swallowed my snark along with my enchiladas. My normal smart-ass was smothered in salsa. In other words, I was "work" Joe as opposed to every day Joe. What a good boy am I.  But there was really no occasion for Mr. Asshole to make an appearance.

The granddaughter was a perfect angel for the ceremony itself. She fell asleep just as church started. She opened her eyes as the Pastor poured the water over her head, but she uttered nary a peep and went straight back to sleep. Church service went well, lightning did not strike the steeple due to my presence or anything like that.

After church we went to my SIL's sister's home for brunch. Then the wife and I saddled up and returned home. After unpacking, all of the talk of pie day got me jonesing for some pie, and the wife, sweet thing she is, went down to the store and scored us a pecan pie. It is not homemade, but it is pie. Pie. Pie. Pie. I think I'll go have a slice for breakfast.

March 15, 2015

March 14, 2015

Not the math kind

key lime
Black raspberry
sugar cream

March 13, 2015

Thirteen reasons

I have been in a strange mood lately. I suspect recent posts reflect this weirdness. I am fed up with politics. I have had a spate of heavy travels for work. The weather is in transition from winter to spring, but I sispect old Jack Frost has one more round at least left in him. None of these explains my apathy, if not downright antithapy towards this forum.

The little notification bar tells me it is March 13, and I know it is Friday, so you superstitious types should be on your guard.  For me, no Friday that is pay day could be bad. How about a litttle bit of music on this Friday, for old times sake?

Have a great day.

March 12, 2015

Slice of life

Late yesterday afternoon I stepped out on the porch. I bent to tighten my shoe laces. I fired up a nice hand-rolled Cain Daytona and went for a walk. The sun was warm. The temperature was pushing sixty. The sidewalk was wet in places as piled snow melted into puddles and rivulets that gurgled into the storm sewers.

In a weird incongruity, a woman jogged past wearing shorts and a tight shirt next to the pond by the little copse of trees. The pond was still covered with a layer of ice. The lawn care guy was spraying the neighbor's yard even though patches of snow remained in the shady nooks of his yard.  The kids on the corner took a break from shooting hoops to chuck snowballs from the big pile of snow the plow left at the end of the cul-de-sac.

Spring fought her perpetual war with winter's icy fist as I meandered through the neighborhood.

March 11, 2015

At the moment

The branches of the big willow look like weird fingers reaching through the heavy fog toward my office window. I can hear my granddaughter gently cooing as she sits in the swing downstairs. I wait patiently for answers to a couple of emails. I think about the oatmeal scotchies in the container in the kitchen, but willpower keeps me from sneaking one. I wonder, is there nothing that can rid our politics of the plague of another Clinton? Or Bush? Listening to Hillary prevaricate about emails reminds me of just how slimy the Clinton years really were. I think my middle name should have been Eyore. We learned last evening my wife's niece has cancer. Bad things happen to very good people. The Cubs clock on my wall ticks, ticks, ticks.

March 10, 2015


It seems to me one has the natural right to say whatever hateful, bigoted, ignorant crap one chooses, I find the notion of "hate speech" offensive. Not the speech, but the idea such speech could or should be outlawed.

It is sad that the college campus, where free thinking should be encouraged, has become the most intolerant of public places.

Too bad multiculturalism has prevented the teaching of American history in our schools and colleges. Jefferson's ghost weeps.

March 7, 2015


i watched the Duke die at the Alamo this morning. You Texicans know why.

If I was ambitious

I would throw up a little video of the 80s classic "I melt with you" by Modern English. Instead you can hum the tune to yourself or skip over to your favorite video site and give it a whirl.

Yes, melting is the theme of the weekend. We are finally slated to get some seasonable temperatures and the snow will start to do its best wet Wicked Witch impersonation. To celebrate I may just have a patty melt for lunch.

March 6, 2015


i have driven right at 2,800 miles since last Wednesday. That is not a complaint, just fact. I am sick of my car, sick of fast food, and not too impressed with the skills of most of my fellow drivers.

The frigid cold continues its icy grip, but the weatherman says we will see more seasonable temperatures next week. Your results may vary.

As far as I know we have no plans for the weekend, but I suspect the social director here at the homestead will correct that situation forthwith.

Have a great day, Amigos.

March 4, 2015

You know me

if you  are a regular reader of this journal you know I revel in the road trip. I enjoy the drive to and fro,  In other words, I truly believe that getting there is half the fun. That said, this trip has been trying. The business aspect has been very fruitful, the travel, not so much. To be honest, the landscape of Indiana, Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska and the southernmost of the Dakotas is not the stuff of ViewMaster-type scenery. The wide Missouri is not so wide here, tamed as it is by dams far upstream. It lacks the breath and depth of the Mighty Mississippi, or the full swift current of the Ohio. In fact, the Wabash River is more imposing as it borders Indiana and Illinois.

This is not my first trip to this area. I habitually travelled here a decade ago. But it is rare I find nothing to stop and see, no roadside marker, no scenic vista to snap an image from the car window. Perhaps it is the numbing cold and ferocious winds that have dampened my enthusiasm. Maybe next time I will dig this route a bit more.

March 3, 2015

Dear Republicans

fuck you. I'm done

I will vote for anyone who runs against Susan Brooks in my district. At least they will represent their constituents.  The same goes for both my Senators who also voted for amnesty for criminals, all of them voted to let Obama usurp Congressional authority. They swore to uphold the Constitution, then let it be used like toilet paper.

The Republican leadership has voted with the money, not the voters.  Good luck in '17 you backstabbing losers.

Don't let the lying bastards tell you DHS would have shut down either, only non-essentials would have been sent home. And if they are essential,why are on the taxpayer dime anyway?  Fucking Boehner said last summer he wanted amnesty. Fucker got his wish.

Choices, chance, cheap

I chalk it up to the fortunes of life on the road. The hotel I booked last night is attached to a casino. I am not sure how that fact escaped me when I chose the location.

The people are nice, but the room is worn. Like all casinos the place has a peculiar scent to it, the smell of desperation, I suppose. Gambling dens in places not named Las Vegas always seem a bit seedy, no matter how nice they are.  To me they have the feel of a used car lot, the outside may look sharp, but someone got rid of that Buick for a reason. The chime of the quarter slots echoes as " Gimme your money" to my untrained ear. You opinion will likely vary. I am weak at math, but I do understand odds, and the building attached to the hotel is not there to give away money.

I did not meander over to the casino. I got in late, and have meetings scheduled this morning before heading north for another night in another hotel in another city.

March 2, 2015

Fool me once, fool me 26 times

Radical Muslims took over Iran 35 years ago. Their power has grown and they have solidified their hold on their nation in the intervening years. The Mullahs in Iran have made clear their intention to bring a modern Caliphate to the Mideast and the world. They have claimed since day one that in their view the two big enemies are the Great Satan and the Little Satan.  That would be the good old USA and Israel, respectively.  They have never wavered in their stated goal of destroying both of us.

For some up unfathomable reason Obama has made it his goal to develop relations with Iran. Everyone else in the world can see the consequences of letting the mad Mullahs get a nuke, but Obama seems blind to the danger to the U.S. and Israel. Just like the North Koreans, they have no incentive nor desire to be our buddies. They hate our very existence. They will say whatever they need to to get us to relieve sanctions while moving forward with their attempts to build a bomb. I would have thought Obama would have caught on to the old bully trick - "Just give me your lunch money today and I promise not to beat your ass tomorrow" . Then tomorrow comes and you get your jock pulled over your head.

I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I know trusting Iran is about the dumbest thing we could do. I am afraid John Kerry and Obama will be the 21st Century version of Neville Chamberlain.

Eight hard inches, Baby

Eight plus inches of snow. That is what fell yesterday. I went out to shovel and before I tossed a half dozen shovels my neighbor showed up with his snow blower and did me a real solid favor and cleaned my drive. How cool is that? I went out later in the afternoon and cleaned up the heap the plowman left at the end of the drive and cleaned off my car.

My daughter heads back to work after her post-baby leave. I am sure it will be tough this morning. The one upside is the wife assumes baby-sitting duties, so I will see lots of my granddaughter.  Of course she is just a boring bundle right now, but it won't be long till she is mobile, talking and playing. We can eat lunch together and I suspect we will be great pals.

I'm off to get my trusty company car serviced. I can't believe I have wracked up 10.000 miles since November first.

March 1, 2015

Head up the old rectum

I have had at least one kid in college for ten straight years. My youngest has at east one more year to go. As such every year when I fill out my tax forms, I segue right into the FAFSA. That is the application one must fill out to get any scholarships or financial aid.

Except somehow, I forgot to do it this year. I don't know how or why I forgot. Old age I guess. So now you know my plans for this snowy Sunday morning.

Government forms followed by shoveling snow.  It is good to be me.

On the bright side later this month marks my blog anniversary. I have been at this for ten years.I will have to look up he exact date of my first post, but I know it was in 2005. A lot of bloggers have come and gone from my sidebar over there on the right. Some of you have been at it longer. Some of you have more readers, butt none of you have better regulars. I am sure I will pontificate on the occasion later in the month.

Happy March. it is Jean's Birthday month over at Pondering.It is my birthday month. It is my blogaversary month. Spring is supposed to arrive in March. The month is coming in like a lion around here with Mother Nature dropping 4 or 5 inches of snow on us last night, I hope that means spring is a few weeks away.
Consider everything here that is of original content copyrighted as of March 2005
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