January 31, 2006

Take a chance on me....

The Great Dax Montana has been relating the adventures of a new guy at his place of employment. The new guy has never had a job and cannot pull his own weight. I was reminded of my first job.

I went to college with every intention of being a lawyer. In time I found out that:

1. Lawyers are scum
2. I was sick of school
3. Lawyers are scum

I graduated with a Liberal Arts degree, no prospects, and a declining economy. I applied for lots of jobs, but I had no experience. I lost out on a customer service job to a guy with 15 years experience as a manager. That is how things were.

I took a job at the local library as a librarian. I managed a branch library three days a week and was the audio-visual librarian at the main branch the rest of the week. It sucked. Let me be the first to clue you into a secret -- librarian conventions are not nearly as fun as you imagine them to be. In time I found myself married. I continued to look for a better job.

One day one of the local factories advertised for a Quality Manager. Of course I was in no way qualified. I did some research on Quality and learned some of the terms etc. This was no mean feat, there was no internet. I was a librarian and research was not a problem. Somehow I scored an interview.

I met with the plant manager and engineering manager. In no time all of us could see I was not qualified. The Plant Manager tried to let me down easy. "You seem like a sharp guy, but we have more qualified candidates..." You get the idea.

In those days I was a shy, meek individual. I needed out of that library. I looked at him and I pointed out that I probably was not qualified. I told them I was a fast learner, I could do anything. I asked how in the world does a guy like me get experience if he cannot get hired? They told me to just keep plugging, something would happen. I told them thanks for their time...meaning fuck off, assholes.

About a week later I got a call from the Plant Manager's Secretary. She said that Fred wanted to know if I could come in to see him. I arrived and the Plant Manager said he had talked to the corporate people in New York. He was prepared to offer me a newly created position as a manager trainee. The pay was not much, but he would ensure I got experience. He was impressed with my candidness in the interview and decided that he would give me a break. I learned later he used up a lot of favors to get me a job. I did not make much, less than most of the hourly workers.

For the next three years I did every job imaginable in that injection molding business. I ran machines, I drove a lift truck, I did payroll, filing, production control. I did quality, warehousing, inventory management. I supervised, I did recycling, picked up trash, painted, called customers to move in orders so we could make the month. You name it -- I did it. I performed every job except heavy maintenance and the plant manager's. I worked my ass off. At one point the factory hired workers to just work weekends. I supervised a weekend shift (11:00 pm to 11:00 am), I continued to work my weekly shift at the same time. I averaged 70+ hours a week. I learned. I got experience.

After three years I parlayed that experience into a Customer Service Manager position. I was 27 years old. In just a few years my new employer trusted me with an enormous responsibility. I succeeded in that project based on my previous broad experience. I owe a debt to that first plant manager I can never repay (Thank you Fred). He took a chance on a smart-assed kid with no experience. He put me in a position where I could learn. At times I hated it. At times I loved it. I have promised myself if I am ever in that position, I will give a young kid a break. I will tell him the story of a plant manager 20 years ago.

Do not fire him Dax. You never know what legacy you are creating.


"Hello, is this here the Sheriff's Office?"

"Yes. What can I do for you?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbor, Virgil Smith. He's drillin' holes in his farwood and hiding marijuana inside!"

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the Sheriff and his deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they split every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.

The phone rings at Virgil's house. "Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?"


"Did they split yer farwood?"


"Happy Birthday, buddy!"

January 30, 2006

Sometimes it is good to be old and senile

At 85 years of age, Wally married Lou Anne, a lovely 25 year old.

Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their wedding she and Wally should have separate bedrooms,

because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough the
knock comes, the door opens and there is Wally, her 85 year old groom, ready for action.

They unite as one. All goes well, Wally takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Wally. Again he is ready for more "action".

Somewhat surprised, Lou Anne consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Wally kisses his bride,
bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it - Wally is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old,

ready for more "action". And, once again they enjoy each other.

But as Wally gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age
you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once.
You are truly a great lover, Wally."

Wally, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says:

........."You mean I was here already?"

Monday Meanderings

It is Super Bowl week, and I just cannot get excited. I do not know if it is a lingering effect of the Colt's loss, or the weather. January weather in the Northern States is tough. It is not the cold -- we have had one of the warmest Januaries in history -- it is the grayness. The days of low-hanging clouds. The rain, the snow.

I look out the window today and the view is like a early 60's episode of the Twilight Zone. There is no color, just shades of gray. The cars are dirty, the streets are covered in grit. Puddles mark the low spots in the adjacent gravel lot. The sky is solid cloud cover, not dark, brooding storm clouds, but a gray patina from horizon to horizon. It is just warm enough to make you think you can do some projects outside, but the wind has that bite that makes it uncomfortable to be outside too long.

Back to the Super Bowl. I can live with the Colt's loss in the playoffs. The better team won that fateful Sunday. The way the team lost leaves a bitter pill. I console myself with the year the Steelers have had. Last year they were 15-1, their loss in the playoffs , I think, was even more devastating than the Colts' this year. I believe they have used last year's failure as motivation to get to the biggest Super Bowl ever --XL.

We have started indoor practice for baseball. Long time readers will know the youngest son lives for baseball. He is on a pretty good team and we are taking the game and our long-term prospects seriously this year. We had a lot of success last year and there is every reason to think the World Series is a realistic goal.

As I write this, the sun has burned a hole in the cloud cover. I feel my spirit rise on the sunbeam. It is Monday, a new week, a new day. Learn something today. Love someone today. Thank God for your blessings.

January 27, 2006


I got a call this morning. It seems my identity has been stolen.

The SOB wanted to give it back.

Lunch time - Are you hungry?

Here is a list of foods I will not be having for lunch today:

1. Rack of lamb with mint petroleum jelly
2. Hot dog water coctail
3 Peanut butter and spam jelly sandwiches
4. Cornhole stew
5. Spam tacos
6. Toasted head cheese sandwiches
7. Biscuits with toejam
8. Ham and brown-eye gravy
9. Arm-pit smoked baby back ribs
10. Choked chicken with jerk seasoning

January 26, 2006

Books, Books, Books

I love books. I always have. I read all the time. I read at lunchtime. I read after work. I read in the evenings. I usually read two books a week, sometimes more. I like to own them, but I often get them at the library, it is much cheaper. Right now I am reading the Sharpe series by Bernard Cornwell. I think I only have two more to read, I will then have to say goodbye to Sharpe and Harper, I will miss these good fictional friends.

Dax has an interesting post about what albums and records have had a strong influence on your life. I will steal his idea with a twist. What book(s) have had a profound influence on your life?

I was enthralled as a youngster with Tom Sawyer, The Call of the Wild and Robin Hood. I wanted so bad to be the boy in My Side of the Mountain. I have read the Bible, and the Koran. I read a complete set of encyclopedias one summer. I read a dictionary, just for the hell of it. Go ahead ask anyone in my family -- they will tell you it is true, and how weird I am! I went through my Catcher in the Rye phase, Lord of the Flies grabbed me, and was hooked on the Monkey Wrench Gang and A Confederacy of Dunces. I have read every book by Louis L'Amour. I was given the L'Amour book Tucker by my Grandfather shortly before he died, and it has remained a favorite I have read repeatedly. I remember stealing my mom's copy of The Summer of '42 when it first came out( I was maybe 10), and I read several times the Cain Mutiny.

I would have to say the books that had the most profound influence on me, other than the Bible are A Separate Peace, by John Knowles, and the play Our Town by Thorton Wilder.

How about you? What books grabbed you by the throat and shook you like a rabid pitbull?

Answer to the Wednesday Quiz

This is Hinkle Fieldhouse at Butler University. ESPN will air a documentary about the Fieldhouse beginning Feb. 10. The big "State Finals" scene in the Movie Hoosiers was filmed in this building. The actual Indiana Boys Basketball State Final Game between Muncie Central and tiny Milan was really played here in 1954. Hoosiers was based on this game. I have seen several games in this arena and it is a great place to watch basketball.

The Fieldhouse has served as host to five U.S. presidents (Herbert Hoover, Dwight Eisenhower, Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford, Bill Clinton), the Billy Graham Crusade, the Sonja Henie Ice Show, four professional basketball teams, the U.S. Olympic basketball trials, the first USSR-USA basketball game, all-star basketball games for the NBA, ABA and the East-West College All-Stars, the nationally prominent Butler Relays in track, tennis matches of both Bill Tilden and Jack Kramer, the 1982 World Goal Ball Championships, a three-ring circus, several equestrian events, the Roller Derby, a six-day bicycle race, and the popular movie "Hoosiers." The building also housed the United States Air Force and Navy as a barracks during World War II.

During the summer of 1987, Hinkle Fieldhouse again received national attention, this time as the site for the volleyball competition at the tenth Pan American Games. The largest crowd ever to see a volleyball match in the United States (14,500) gathered to see the United States defeat Cuba in the men's gold medal match.

When the Fieldhouse was originally constructed, it was the largest basketball arena in the United States, and it retained that distinction for more than 20 years. Recent renovation has reduced the seating capacity from 15,000 to 11,043, but the aura that made Hinkle Fieldhouse one of the nation's first great basketball arenas remains today.

January 25, 2006

Ron Artest -- You Are a Cancer and a Jerk

T.O., Ron Artest -- the poster boys for what is wrong with sports today. For many athletes it is all about ME, ME, ME. This is nothing new.

Ron Artest is a cancer. He ruined a season for his owners last year. He destroyed the team again this year demanding a trade and criticizing his owners, his coach, and teammates. He created a situation so divisive, he had to be left off the team. His request was granted, a trade was reportedly made.

Now, by a simple comment he may or may not have made, the trade is off. As with all Artest says, the story changes before the paragraph ends. How can you blame another team for being reluctant to take a gamble on this jerk? As soon as he, or his agent, tells Sacramento that Ron does not want to play there, the team backs away. Why should they take a chance the asshole will not sabotage their investment, just as he did in Indiana? He has pulled this "I do not want to play act before. Remember last year when he asked for time off to promote his fledgling record company?

Why should he play now? He is getting full pay to vacation. The Pacers have to pay him by contract. At some point they have to be able to make a case that his actions are detrimental to the organization. The Simons (owners of the Pacers and your local shopping mall) should take their chances in court. This guy has to go. Too bad he has already made enough money to keep his family from starving ( barely -- ask Spree!).

Be gone Ron Artest. Maybe if you get wet you will melt away like the Wicked Witch. Is that why you freaked out in Motown last year? We in the Hoosier Heartland are sick of your tired me-first act. Fuck off, go away, eat shit. Do something, just don't let the door hit you in the ass as you leave my state, you cancerous douchebag.

ed: Go here to read what should have happened to Artest. Brian is right on.

Test you Knowledge -- Wednesday Quiz Time

What is it? Where is it? What movie was filmed there? I gave you a hint, it is a stadium.

Enter now, next weeks entry will be even harder. This is not some pansy trivia contest.

January 24, 2006

Interesting Sex Study

Subject: Sex Study

A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient sexual activity read blogs with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

See, I said I would have something for you if you checked back. Check again every 15 minutes. You owe it to yourself...

ht: otter

Hoosierboy In Action; a Tale of Woe.

I have nothing to offer. I got nutin. Usually expressing my opinion is a simple matter. There are few issues in the modern or historical world unworthy of a comment. Name the issue and I will opine. Not today. I could throw up a quiz, a meme, a cartoon, but I lack the energy. The only reason you get this post, is that yesterday I offered up a post I actually wrote last week (that fact makes the entry no less worthy). Your Hoosierboy recycled an unpublished post. An apology will not be forthcoming. I was out working yesterday, so there you have it.

My weekend was boring. I saw a movie, went to a basketball game, watched with half interest the playoff games, had the first indoor baseball practice for the little one.

I work, I eat, I sleep. I suspect my life is a lot like yours. Have patience, I am sure I will have words and opinions, and rants, and jokes for you tomorrow. Maybe later today. Check back often. Every fifteen minutes or so would be great: I need the hits. Do your part to feed my ego. It is the least you can do.

Tuesday Teaser:

Have you heard of Mill Springs? What do you know?

January 23, 2006

Do you need a laugh today?

Do you need a laugh today? Check this out.

I cannot get a direct link, but go to the archives and read through the prank phone calls. Look through the archive and you will see they are all funny. The AT&T is especially amusing, but the Cheetos call had tears of laughter in my eyes. The best call of all is Kellogs call #2. I had to stop reading because I was laughing so hard. There are still tears running down my cheeks.

January 22, 2006

At war with the French

The Irish and The French War

Jacques Chirac, The French President, is sitting in his office when his
telephone rings.

"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down
at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that
we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?"

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment’s calculation, "there is myself,
me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team
from the pub. That makes eight!"

Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my
army waiting to move on my command.

"Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is
still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Chirac asks.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Chirac sighs, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks
and 5,000 armored personnel carriers Also, I have increased my army to
150,000 since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is
still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie
McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
four boys form the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must
tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites.
And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, I will have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.

Chirac! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

"I am sorry to hear that," says Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," says Paddy, "we have all had a long chat over a bunch of pints,
and decided there is no foo-kin way we can feed 200,000 prisoners

submitted by otter.

January 20, 2006

What kind of scum would protest at a funeral?

Sometimes it is difficult to take a political stand where your basic ideology is less Government and a firm dependence on the Constitution.

I am really conflicted on this issue. I am always skeptical about those who proclaim "there ought to be a law", and arguments for bigger, more intrusive Government. The case in question involves a group who protests at military funerals. Indiana wants to pass a law designating protesters to an area at least 500 feet from a funeral.

The basic question is does freedom of speech trump good sense and decorum? Of course, we cannot legislate morality. Our founding Fathers were adamant in the God-given right of free speech and protest. I am equally convinced they could never foresee a time when the citizens of this country would have so little respect for their fellow man that they could protest at a funeral of a loved one. In this case, the funeral was for a young soldier killed in combat for his nation. No matter your thoughts on the war, the loss of a son or daughter is a pain no parent should have to suffer. The intrusion of outsiders calling your child a killer and murderer are beyond the pale of decency. These people claim to be religious, believers in God. How sad and misguided that supposed followers of Christ can have so little compassion. They are protesting the war because they disagree with the Government's stand on homosexuality. Is there logic there that I miss?

The whole situation is as ridiculous as the anti-abortioners who kill doctors in order to save babies. Murder is murder. They are nutjobs at best, no matter your position on abortion.

I am torn. Every instinct cries in protest of any law curtailing free speech. I chafe at the notion of the Government passing any laws that further intrude into our lives. Yet I cannot believe that a group of humans can be so lacking in compassion and feeling for their fellow man.

I am sad and disappointed that such a law will likely pass. I am even sadder that we need such a law in the first place.

January 19, 2006

YOU are the parent

I just heard on the radio that some advocate group are suing Kellogs and Nickelodeon to stop using cartoon characters to push cereal. No surprise these interfering do gooders are from the great liberal Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

"Nickelodeon and Kellogg engage in business practices that literally sicken our children," said CSPI executive director Michael F. Jacobson. "Their marketing tactics are designed to convince kids that everything they hear from their parents about food is wrong. It's a multimedia brainwashing and reeducation campaign, and a disease-promoting one at that. And parents are fed up."
Attention, PARENTS, you are in charge of your children. There is no North Korean communist vast right wing conspiracy brainwashing Chinese water torture plan to make your kids eat Apple Jacks. This is especially true of pre-teens. If you do not want to buy sugar-coated corn flakes for your kid, DO NOT BUY THEM. They will get over it. They will eventually eat the saw dust you want to shove down innocent little gullets if they get hungry enough.

A food industry-backed group defended the companies, saying the lawsuit assumes that parents can't turn off televisions, have no control over the food they buy and can't make their kids go outside to play.

It is bad enough that we had to endure the name change of SUGAR smacks, and SUGAR Pops, do not take away the Tiger or those gay little elves that push the Rice Krispies. Crunchberries are now blue, there are too many colors to count in my Fruit Loops, and what is the story behind all the new and different shapes in the Lucky Charms? Getting rid of any cartoon characters on the cereal box is going too far.

If you do not have the strength to tell your kids no at the store, or when watching TV, or what cereal you buy, you have no business being a parent.
"The thrust of Nickelodeon's and Kellogg's likely defense will be to blame parents, since, after all, parents ultimately are responsible for their kids' diets," said CSPI litigation director Steve Gardner, lead counsel for the plaintiffs. "But then again, Kellogg and Nick aren't directing their marketing messages at parents; they're going right behind parents' backs. Parents are ultimately responsible for making sure their young kids don't get hit by cars. But if someone's recklessly driving around your neighborhood at 80 miles an hour, you're going to want to stop them."

Yes, but if allow your seven year old to play in the street, you are still responsible , even if someone is going 80.

What are you going to do when your little brat whines to try a cigarette or a beer? I can hear it now, "Oh what do I do, Suzy wants a cold Bud, it is not fair that they advertise during the football game". Give me a break you busy-body, liberal, spineless gash. You probably do believe it takes a village to raise your kid. Thank you, but I do not need the courts or the government to tell me what my kids can and cannot eat. Dry up and blow away you dumbass. Do you want to see how far these people want to go?
"In any other sphere of American life it would be considered creepy and predatory for adults to propose commercial transactions to toddlers and young children," said Jacobson. "Yet companies like Kellogg, Nickelodeon, and others have been doing it with impunity, and government has done nothing for decades. This litigation is truly a last resort, and vitally important to children's health."

These people want to equate advertisements for Barbie, Bikes, balls, Toys R us, and cereal as creepy and predatory. We need the government to tell us what to do every minute of the day -- It is for the the chillren. Honestly, given the vision of the future proposed by people like this, Orwell was mild. remember, every time you vote Democrat, you are encouraging this kind of stateism. Do you want the Government telling you not to use a certain fabric softener because it uses a teddy bear in the commercial? Maybe we should ban all makeup commercials because I have seen few women who look like a covergirl after they use the advertised lipstick.

These assholes should be shot, they are a danger to their kids and society as a whole.

Answer to the Wednesday Quiz

the picture is none other than the famed Dick the Bruiser and his long-time tag-team partner the Crusher. Bruiser was an ex-Green Bay Packer.

I loved Dick the Bruiser when I was a kid and I watched him wrestle a few times at the county fairgrounds. I hated the Blackjacks, who always tried to "cheat", but lost in the end.

Yes, even as a pre-teen I knew it was fake.

1/2 point to JamesOldGuy for getting Dick the Bruiser right.

January 18, 2006

Hoosierboy Rambles

Ted "Swimmer" Kennedy admits he belongs to an exclusive all-male club. He says he is no longer a member, even though he pays "a hundred bucks or so" each year for membership. In his incoherent grilling of Allito, Swimmer was offended that Allito once belonged to a club that would not admit women. He was more indignant that Allito could not remember belonging to this club.

Kennedy did allow that he would never be confirmed as a Justice on the SCOTUS. No, Swimmer, I think even the Dems would object to a man who killed a young woman and lied to cover it up.

We got about two inches of snow last night. The weathermen say it will be near 50 tomorrow. WTF? We will all have pneumonia.

In the wake of "Blue Monday" after the Colts loss, I console myself with the fact that Pittsburgh suffered a similar meltdown last year after winning 14 or 15 games in a row. The may be on the way to the superbowl this year. Indy will still be VERY good next year. I also remember that Elway was blamed for losing the "big games" until the last two years of his career. All the other loses are now forgotten.

Now a new feature for Fat in Indiana:

Wednesday Quiz:

Can you identify these guys?

Suuure...there will be a prize.

January 17, 2006

The Golden Globes

Is there anything more tedious than awards shows? A group of narcissistic performers get together to feed each others' egos. Actors hug and proclaim the skills of their fellow thespians, all the time believing they are far better performers. Think, an actor is someone who is acclaimed for saying lines written by another, while a director tells them how to say those lines, and where they should stand when they say them. Let us face it, there are only a few actors or actresses so good that we forget who they are in their roles. Tom Hanks is one. Let us not forget Spencer Tracy. Joan Crawford maybe.

Even more fatuous than the awards is the insipid coverage. We are bombarded whith pre-award sniping about the clothing and hairstyles of the attendees. Who cares? The post party coverage is even worse. We are regaled on the morning shows about the myriad parties attended by the celebrities. So what, I can drink all night too. A drunk is a drunk, no matter how nice they are dressed.

And just why do we care that Paris Hilton was at the party? Her fame is directly tied to her wealth, a mere chance meeting of sperm and egg. Her best acting was the home porn movie she shot.

The whole environment of these award shows, whether we are discussing the Emmys, the Golden Globes, the Academy Awards, or any of the weekly Country Music award shows reminds me of the Roman Emperor Nero. "WTF", you ask? Nero, as you remember is famous for "fiddling" while Rome burnt.

Nero fancied himself quite the artist. He performed in plays, he sang, he dabbled in all of the fine arts. He developed quite an entourage that followed him from performance to performance. These sycophants would cheer and clap each time the Emperor graced the audience with his skills. Each group had its own peculiar chant or clap for Nero. One of the most famous was called the "bees" who as a group were said to clap so fast the sound was like that of a swarm of angry bees. Historians differ on whether Nero had any skills or not (depending on how close to his reign they wrote). He was the Heath Ledger of his day. I imagine there are at least a score of Prima Donnas in Hollywood would would love to have a group of "bees" follow him or her to every public appearance. Imagine the cheers and applause that would accompany each botox injected cheek-kissy and fake hug as these "artists" meet on the red carpet.

Nero would fit right in with the award shows that give accolades to the flavor of the day. Only time will tell if gay cowboys are the rage, or just the politically popular choice for awards. For me, the true worth a movie is in the cash register tape. A good movie will have a good box office. People want to see good movies. They stay away from bad ones. There are always exceptions like Cinderella Man. It bombed at the box office, but was actually quite good. Some movies get a large draw based on the actor in the movie -- the last Mad Max movie really sucked.

In the end, I exercise my rights. I refuse to watch the award shows. Ain't choice grand?

January 16, 2006

An Old-time Hoosier Saturday Night

On Saturday I stood in line to buy a Pepsi and a hot dog at a high school basketball game. The line snaked back towards the gym floor. Seated in a wheelchair next to the bleachers was Sandy Allen. She was right beside me. She happens to be the tallest woman in the world. In her customized wheel chair she was still nearly as tall as I, even though she was sitting.

I was one of around 5,000 people at the game. I am sure any of you from outside Indiana are incredulous. Five Thousand people -- that is not a typo. Once upon a time such crowds were common at Indiana High School basketball games. For the record, the gym seats 5,832. The population of the city is around 17,000. There are around 1,000 students in the school. There are 19 high school gyms in Indiana that seat more fans. In fact, I believe that 19 of the 20 largest high school gyms in the US are in Indiana.

Did you see that forgettable movie Blue Chips? The interior shots of the "home gym" was filmed in my old high school. That gymnasium seats more than 5,500. It is named after Everett Case, the famous NC State coach. Case won 4 state championships at Frankfort and compiled a record of 385-99-1 (.794). His record over 18 seasons at NC State was 379-134 (.739) including six straight Southern Conference titles.

From the 1940's through the 1970's most high schools had crowds of this size for every game. The seats were made smaller and the gyms stuffed beyond capacity come tournament time. The crowds are much smaller now as there are more distractions and ways to spend the family entertainment budget. The advent of class basketball had a little to do with the declining interest as well. Can you name the largest crowd to see a basketball game in the RCA dome Indianapolis? It is not one of the NCAA final four games. It was one of the final single class basketball tournament games in Indiana (1997 was the last). More than 41,000 people watched Damon Bailey sink three free throws at the end of the game to lead his team to the State Championship.

Saturday, I watched the undefeated locals take on the 4th ranked team in the state (class 4A - the largest schools). It was one of the best ball games I have seen at any level. The home team won by three points. It was a well-defended, Larry Byrd-type shooting game from both teams.

I then came home to see the Patriots choke against Denver. Make no mistake -- the Pats lost. Denver did not win. On Sunday I watch the Steelers beat the Colts. Make no doubt about that game either. The game was never as close as the score, and the officials did all they could to help the Colts. In the end I think you can blame rust, and a huge choke for the loss. Oh, and again, the Steelers were a better team.

Fat in Indiana Hits 500

It began in a humble fashion.
"I will post on whatever I care to write about. It may be political, humorous, or just boring, but you will always get my best. I may post some of my stories. I may post on historical items that interest me. It may just be crap".

That was from my very first post last March. Not much has changed. This is post number 500 for Fat in Indiana. I never thought I would make it a month, forget through 500 posts. I thank those of you who stop by here to read my bombasts, my bad jokes, my stories,and to chuckle at my cartoons. I thank the GOC for his monster link when I got my 1,000th visitor. I thank Alli for her support when I first started. Her comment, "I will keep reading you" kept me at it when I despaired that I would have no one to feed my ego.

I got my 10,000th hit in December, 500th post in January and my blogeversary is coming in March. There are exiting times here at Fat in Indiana. At least one thing is going right this year. I enjoy this blog as much as anything I have done in a while. Thanks for reading, I hope to give you 500 more posts this year.

January 14, 2006

Weekend Cartoon

No cartoon this weekend, I cannot find one worthy of your time. I wish I could find an image of my all-time favorite cartoon. It was in Playboy in the late 70's or early 80's. It showed this guy and woman in a filthy, dirty room. They were both naked. He was between her legs. There was puke all over her belly and the bed. The caption read "Was it good for you too?". You had to see it, but it was, and is, one of the funniest cartoons ever.

I will post the 4 meme from Alli for lack of anything better:

Four jobs you’ve had in your life:
1. Janitor
2. Librarian
3. Customer Service Manager
4. Sales Manager

Four movies you could watch over and over:
1. Holiday Inn
2. Zulu / Zulu Dawn
3. Happy Gilmore
4. Any John Wayne /Clint Eastwood movie

Four books you could read again and again:
1. Anything by Stephen Coonts
2. Anything by W.E.B. Griffin
3. The Master and Comander series by O'Brian
4. The Sharpe series by Bernard Coornwell

Four places you’ve lived:
1. Frankfort, IN
2. Crawfordsville, IN
3. Shelbyville, IN

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. The Simpsons
2. ER
3. Jeopardy
4. Seventh Heaven

Four places you’ve been on vacation:

1. California
2. Austin, TX
3. Orlando
4. Myrtle Beach.
I have been to Canada, France, Italy, Germany, Austria, England, The Netherlands and 42 of the 50 states plus Washington DC)

Four websites you visit daily:
1. GOC
2. Dax Montana
3. Charming just charming
4. fox rants

Four of your favorite foods:
1. Beef and Noodles
2. cheeseburgers
3. bacon
4. steak

Four places you’d rather be:
1. Germany
2. Florida
3. Reading a good book
4. Transported back in time

Four albums you can’t live without:

1. Yessongs by Yes
2. So Far by Crosby Stills and Nash
3. The Rat Pack live at the Sands
4. Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd

January 13, 2006

Are you ready for some football?

December was as cold as I could remember here in the Hoosierland. For most of the month we had snow and cold. The temperatures were far below the historical daily averages for the month. The temperatures were more what we would expect in January -- teens and twenties for highs.

So far, January has been unexpectedly mild. The temps have been in the 50's the past two days. In fact I was awakened early this morning by a tumultuous thunderstorm. Lightening split the sky and thunder rumbled hard enough to rattle pictures on the walls. A true spring thunderstorm. The weatherman says we can expect a return to reality as the temperature will drop 30 degrees today and we can expect snow over night.

Hoosiers are in a high state of excitement. Those who live in the Northern third of the state are high on the Bears. Chicago looks as tough as it was in '85, at least as far as the defense. Can born-Hoosier Rex Grossman coax enough points from the anemic offense to top Carolina? Will Purdue graduate Kyle Orton have to save the day as Grossman gets hurt? Rex averages about four games a season without injury, so he is due.

The mighty, mighty Colts begin their Superbowl run against the Steelers. Joey Porter maintains the Colts are physical enough to beat the Steelers. I guess the smash they laid on them in the last meeting must have rattled his brain. Maybe the shot he took to the ass a few years ago did more brain damage than previously thought.

Some think the Colts maybe rusty after a month of meaningless games. Remember the Colts were 0-5 in the preseason and then went on a remarkable roll. They were unstoppable in the regular season and I see no reason that the trend should stop.

Steelers fans will bring their terrible towels to the game Sunday. I guess that is so they have a place to dry their tears as the Steelers take a terrible beating.

Bears 13 Panthers 10
Colts 28 Steelers 21

January 12, 2006

Religion of Peace Part II

LB, in a comment to a post below, thought that I was way off base. LB believes most Muslims are peaceful and would not hurt a fly. He should read this post at tipjar.

See the video, read the text. "Religion of Peace" my ass. If the Pope were leading the worshipers in Saint Peter's Square in a "Death to Iran / Death to the Saudis" chant, I think the MSM would be all over the story. Instead adherents to the fastest growing religion in the world, the one common denominator in nearly every conflict in today's world, are calling for our destruction and we ignore it. Is this because such posturing is what we expect from the Religion of Peace? I say we ignore such activities at our peril.

Christianity has its snake handlers and Pat Robertsons, but if two million people of such belief got together, you would have to say their beliefs were mainstream. Would we take them seriously if they called for the destruction of our country? Would we dismiss them as mere fanatics?

Ed. Go read this. As Usual, Bane says it it better and clearer than I could ever attempt.

January 11, 2006

Things I wish I had said

We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. So I'm not fat, I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't hold any more so it started filling up the rest of me!

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Sent to me by Otter. The only good news is I am MUCH fatter than the thin, but older brother of Hoosierboy. Ipso Facto, I am smarter.

Religion of Peace

Go read this post at CUG.

We are constantly bombarded by the left in this country that we need to accept multiculturalism. The adherents of Islam tell us they are a religion of Peace, that their goal is not to move us into the 4th Century.

It is interesting that there are some who call us the evil ones. As the NOW bunch stage another naked protest against George (the shrub) Bush they should consider their fate should he lose the war on terror. The democrats and Feminists are far more intent on regaining power than actually Looking at what we face if Sharia is international law. That is the ultimate goal of the religion of Islam. Imagine, you are a 17 year old girl defending yourself from rape. Since you killed your attacker, you will be tried for murder and hanged. Yes, Bush is evil incarnate compared to the Mullahs!

I again challenge anyone to prove me wrong. The intent and goal of every true believer in the words of Mohammed is conversion of every infidel. The rule of Sharia is to be the law of all.
"Second, install sharia (Islamic law) on the entire Earth and spread Islamic justice there ... The attacks will not cease until after the victory of Islam and the setting up of sharia," he swore.

~Abu Musab al-Zarqawi (emph. mine)
HT delftsman

That my friends is what we are fighting and to deny it is foolhardy in the end. Prove me wrong.

January 10, 2006

Mr. Smith, Where are you?

I was perusing my local newspaper yesterday. The issue featured a series of articles interviewing elected leaders and department heads about their plans and goals for the year. The articles listed project after project, new ordinances and laws, complaints about budgets and lots of promises. We learned that our local elected officials are spending our tax money with gusto, and doing their best to shove government deeper into our lives with regulations on garbage cans, and the number of trash bags they will allow, smoking ordinances and the like.

Not one single elected representative stated that their goal was to reduce taxes. None at the city or county level wanted to reduce the role of government. Not surprising, you might think, until you consider this fact -- every single elected office in my city and county is held by a Republican.

I am not the first, but I will tell you the Republican Revolution is over. Our Federal Representatives have long ago adopted the beltway tax and spend disease. When we have lost the focus of true Reaganian Conservative principles at the local level we are screwed. It appears our only viable choice is bad Republicans and even worse Democrats. Do not tell me to vote Libitarian, they do not run at the small local level. If they did the haze of pot smoke surrounding campaign headquarters makes the party a joke.

I am sure similar situations can be found in every town and community across the Nation. Why has the Party slipped from the principles that put it into office. When will the local representatives realize that the mainstream of America (especially in flyover country) is conservative. We do not want more laws, more taxes, more government programs, more wetlands, more eminent domain. We want to pay the minimum taxes for the minimum services. We want our trashed picked up, our fire departments and police protection and good roads. Anything else is a waste of my money.

I want a politician that somehow remembers that State and Federal Money is still tax money. I want him or her to remember that every local income tax and property tax dollar spent is the hard earned income of a local resident. I want an elected official that says first, before any other decision, "this is taxpayer money, do I need to spend it?" I want politicians everywhere to focus on absolute NEEDS, not wants. I still want term limits, open campaign finance reports, an elimination of the Federal Education Department and all budget increases at EVERY level to be held to the rate of inflation.

Representatives and Senators should be paid 10% higher than the average wage of their district or state. They should be limited to three terms for a Representative and two for a Senator. If you can not get your agenda accomplished in that time, we need a more effective representative. I want the Supreme Courts to rule only on cases that are in the Constitution. All law should be made at the lowest possible level (ie.; the city/county should have the most laws, the State fewer, the Federal Government fewest of all). Just because you are in office does not in any way obligate you to make new laws.

Politicians, listen to me. I want lower taxes. I want fewer services. I want less Government in my life. I want no more raises and permanent benefits voted for yourselves. I want the reports from independent councils released. I want the lobbyists gone, and your ass out of office after just a few terms. Here is my pledge, I will not vote for you if you do not try to limit government and lower taxes while you are in office. I will vote for anyone else.

That is my pledge, my screed, my manifesto. Get with the program or get a real job. That is my warning to you Mr. Mayor, Mr. Councilman, Mr. Representative, Mr. Senator, Mr. President. I for one am fed up.

January 9, 2006

Changes to the old blogroll

I have made some changes to the old blogroll. Go Check out The Anti-hippe, Big Dick, Russ, and the Dragon's Den (who hails form my old stomping grounds -- we have both sinced moved). Finally, check out Brian's Frazzled Mind.Check out everyone else on the blogroll while you are at it. If you wish to be added to the blogroll leave me a comment or send me an Email and I will get to it.

grampapinhead is gone, 'cause sadly, he says he is done blogging. I hope he changes his mind becasue he will be back in the blogroll whenever he resumes.

Happy Monday!

RTG makes a brief appearance

RTG has once again given a clear, concise report. Makes me sick. My piss-poor prose again is proven to lack style and substance compared to her work. I can only assuage my despair in the fact that most blogers also come a little short in their analysis and prose when compared to her.

January 8, 2006

This is so wrong

I did not mind Alexander being named MVP. He had a great season, even though he played against the 49ers twice, Arizona twice, and the Rams twice. It would be hard not to get big numbers against the NFL cellar dwellers. I think Manning was a better choice, but I will not complain.

How do you not honor the coach with FOURTEEN wins (13 in a row) as coach of the year? How do you again spit on the coach with the BEST winning percentage of any active coach (and that includes Gibbs and Belichick)? Smith did a great turnaround in Chicago, Cincinnati also achieved great things, but denying Tony Dungy again his deserved honor is just wrong.

FOURTEEN wins. Dungy won with defense, he won with offense, he won blowouts, and he won close games. He was able to play tough, smashmouth football or finesse. Whatever it took, Dungy got it done in an honorable, low key way. He is idolized by his players and fans. This is just so wrong. We know who the best coach was in the NFL this year and it was Tony Dungy.

January 7, 2006

New Home for Alli

Alli at Fox Rants has some new digs. Check it out. She also has some BIG NEWS.

weekend cartoon

January 6, 2006

Submitted for your approval

There was an interesting post at Moonbattie's place earlier this week. She mentioned that she liked to lay her head down on a cool table when she was sad or stressed. I am the same way. I mentioned that it was interesting that we seek coolness in times of stress instead of heat. One would think we would instinctively seek warmth -- return to the womb.

I remembered an essay I wrote many years ago. It is the second entry in a weathered notebook I used to write short stories and snippets of fiction. The notebooks once white cover is now yellowed with age, and the ink scratchings of my poor handwriting are fading with time. I will not offer any suggestions of the quality of writing, but I think this peace sums up the calming effects of nighttime and the cold of winter. I have not edited the content. The entire piece was written stream of conscious very late in the night as I sat looking out the window. What you read is exactly what I wrote that winter night. This entry is dated December 18, 1981:

What is it about a cold winter night? It seems so comforting, so secure. The pristine snow seems to envelope you like a hot shower. Uncomfortable, yet so soothing you never want to leave. The cold surrounds you and makes you realize how insignificant you are. A winter night is very different from the hot, muggy nights of summer. A winter night is silent. The sound of flakes hitting the layers of snow already on the ground is deafening. It is the silence that makes your thoughts spring alive in a torrent of ideas and images. Plans for the future or longing for the past race through that mysterious mass of gray matter called your brain. Sometimes you think of nothing. You find yourself walking, walking, never knowing why or where. It is as if you are in the middle of a play with no characters, no plot, no setting. It is a deep void of nothingness -- a temporary black hole of your imagination. Instead of thoughts springing out, they seem to go inward, recede into the back of your brain. Just you alone with your thoughts and God. Perhaps they are the same. It is the silence. Late at night, after the snow has fallen for hours and the town is lulled into a gentle sleep by the icy silence, the snow becomes like canvass, unmarred by brush. Images of a thousand varieties can be conjured in your mind and mentally painted on the snow. The gusty winds blow the snow around like thousands of miniature chorus girls upon a stage. They swirl to the left, dart to the right and climb upward for a soft decent, these snowflakes. Suddenly you come back to reality. The clock's incessant ticking, the sounds of breathing from the other room are heard. It seems impossible to find the bliss and comfort promised by the night. The worries and problems of your world, your own little microcosm, weigh heavily on your mind. Ah, to be away from it all. You imagine the trapper alone in the high Rockies -- perhaps seeing land never seen by white man before -- and you wonder if he too had ever drifted off into that thoughtless void in his musings by the fire a century and a half ago?

There! See how easy it is? The world has escaped you again. You feel yourself getting ready to ask a deep philosophical question you know has no answer like "what is happiness"? It cannot be held back you know, no matter how hard you try. How DO we know if we are happy? Is it an all the time thing, or are you allowed to be sad and melancholy sometimes? What is it about a cold winter night, when everyone is asleep, that makes the mind wander so? You find yourself lying in bed, never comfortable. You try imagining all sorts of things to tire your mind, to make yourself sleep. First you are too cold. Then the heat is unbearable. Finally, you get up and stare into the lovely darkness of solitude. Suddenly, you become aware it is becoming light. Another night has gone by. You wonder just what it was you used so many of the precious hours of life thinking on. Then it occurs to you -- nothing. Nothing at all. You remember this every now and then as you emerged from your daze like a drowning man's head from the water. You gasped for air, asked yourself another question, then went back under. So serene, so quiet and peaceful. It must be like death. Surely you must have pondered about death in your late night musings. If you have a thought on life, then you must have a thought on death, for they are one and the same. To use a worn out phrase "you cannot have one without the other", or "two peas in a pod", that sort of rubbish. Get the idea? Death may not be so bad. I am sort of curious what it is like. Is being alive here being dead elsewhere? Perhaps we are existing in a Heaven or Hell of another dimension, another world.

The snow is getting deeper. Maybe that explains the silence. All of the sounds of the summer night have been frozen by winter and covered by an icy blanket of snow, only to be uncovered and thawed by spring. Oh, what is it about a cold winter night.

There you have the unedited thoughts of a pretentious, insomniac nineteen year old. Sadly, my writing skills have not improved over time.

January 5, 2006


Is there anything better for lunch than a tuna salad sandwich on really fresh white bread?

Thoughts on the Rose Bowl

Here are some random thoughts on last nights national Championship Game:

1. What a game, for once the actual event lived up to it's hype.
2. Both of these teams were incredibly fast, it almost looked like NFL speed out there.
3. Based only on last night's game, if I were to choose a running back I would go after L. White from USC instead of R. Bush. That man was a load and hit the hole with startling power, speed and vision.
4. V. Young is a special player. Wow, that is all I can say. Unfortunately his abilities will be hampered in the NFL unless he moves from Quarterback. The coach and owner wherever he ends up are not going to want him out there facing injury on every play (see M. Vick).
5. R. Bushes lateral was the bonehead play of the day. What was he thinking? The team was not dire straights, he had a great run that garnered the first down. There was no reason to turn over the ball.
6. The DUMBEST play was the timeout called at the end of the game following the last Texas score. Of course they were going for two, a one or two point lead was meaningless if USC could get a score. The loss of this time out cost USC the slim chance they had to recapture the game.
7. Attention, the game is on the line, Young will likely RUN the ball with one minute to go. At that point he had already ripped USC for almost 200 yards, why was the defense watching him run by?
8. The officiating did not reflect well on the Big Ten. The missed call on the Young lateral in the first half was inexcusable. The replay on a clear catch late in the fourth was useless, he clearly was down by contact. I am not suggesting any kind of conspiracy, but there were two replays that were unnecessary, giving the gasping Texan defense a well needed breather. Why did it take so long to get the plays in from the sideline for USC? Texas was gasping and you gave them time. The delay of game penalty was huge, as was the timeout USC had to waste early in the second half to avoid a second delay penalty. I bet old Pete wished he had that one back during the final 19 seconds.
9. Missing 29 yard field goals and PATs in the Rose Bowl is no way to get that coveted NFL kicking spot.
10. I still liked the Rose Bowl when it featured Pac 10 and Big 10 Teams.
11. Who would not have liked to see Texas and Ohio State square off again in a tournament atmosphere?
12. Is it me or was there a period on the 2nd quarter when Leinert looked like a freshman QB playing in his first game? He pulled it out, got rid of the deer-in-the-headlights look and played the rest of the game pretty sharp.
13. You have 19 seconds to get into scoring position. USC runs a RUNNING Play. WTF?
14. Vince Young WOW.
15. Why did you call that timeout USC?

I know I repeated the last two, but I thought those points had the most impact on the game.

January 4, 2006

The blame game

Imagine, your loved one literally scrapes out a living working one of the most dangerous jobs imaginable. Each day he faces death in a way that would make many of us break into a sweaty, cannot breathe, panic attack. He is a coal miner working underground. If you have never been in a deep cave, seen the impenetrable darkness that is the absence of light you should try it. Dark does not begin to describe the blackness of the bowels of the Earth. He works in a dusty, dirty noise-racked hole in the earth, fighting for air and light.

One day your worst fears come true. There is an explosion deep under ground. You fear the worst, hope for the miracle you know is unlikely. After two days your wildest prayers are answered, your husband, father, brother, son, daddy is alive. You lift your thanks to Heaven, the tears of joy are unmatched. He is alive! He beat the Earth, cheated that rat-bastard Death.

Then you find out it was a mistake, some jackass spouted off without the facts, the reporters rushed to get the story out first, the grapevine was wrong. Was it a cruel joke, incompetent fools, vain hopefulness? The heart wrenching episode of false hope, premature joy should be a cautionary tale for us all. Real people with real lives are affected by our words our actions. Check your facts, Sgt. Friday.

Whoever was responsible for the outrageous lie that the miners of West Virginia were safe, then dead, has a lot of explaining to do. I have never been a proponent of blame storming, finger pointing and he said/she said business reviews. Here is a case where such a negative exercise should be conducted. Such idiocy must never be repeated. Shame on someone. False hope must surely be the most painful of wounds to the heart.

If you are so inclined, say a prayer for the souls of the dead, and ask God to heal the salt-rubbed wounds of the loved ones left to grieve.

January 3, 2006

Now that is desperate...

I was returning from a trip to Europe, many days in Holland. Long, boring, technical meetings followed by nights in the pubs and restaurants of Utrecht. It was time to go home. I took the train to Amsterdam's famous Schiphol Airport. It was midday as I boarded the USAIR flight home.

I was seated in business class, the area was mostly empty. It must have been a mid-week flight. There was a couple in the front left row. The same row as me (but staggered) middle section was occupied by an older German guy. He spoke German to the Attendant, and he looked exactly like the Burgermeister Meisterburger character in the Santa Claus is Coming to Town cartoon.. I was on the right side of the plane and my friend Susan was behind me. We were the only passengers in business class.

We taxied out, and as often happens, the line to take off was long. All the flights to North America take off at the same time, so the taxiway was filled with jumbo jets. As we sat there I noticed the Burgermeister was figiting in the seat. He covered himself with a blanket and was messing around in his crotch area. I really thought he was jerking off. I was the only passenger that could see him as he removed the blanket and began to relieve himself into a airsickness bag. In doing so he pissed all over himself, his pants and the seat. He took pillows and used them as sponges to clean up the mess.

After we took off he rang the bell for the attendant and gave her the piss bag. He just handed it to her as if it were her duty to clean up after him. The Meisterburger then stood and went to the tiny restroom to wash off his hands (I hope). When he came back his shirt was wet like he tried to fake that the sink splashed him on the whole front. He piled the blanket and pillows on his seat and sat in the vacant seat beside.

I took that opportunity to turn to my friend behind me and point out in a semi-loud voice "Susan, that Dude just pissed into an airsick bag. He pissed all over the place. Can you believe it?" I know he heard me.

He deserved the rude treatment for banning toys and throwing Kris Kringle and that little penguin into jail. Stoopid Euroweenie.

January 2, 2006

No Title

Happy New Year to me. It is starting off pretty crappy. I have to say I am glad I came to work today (sarcasm heavy).

January 1, 2006

In the midnight hour...

We went to a New Year's party last night. Lots of fun, lots of kids, lots of food. I imbibed a bit, but just the right amount 'cause I feel great this morning. Slept in past 9 am, late for me. That may have something to do with getting home after three am. I saw millions of you out there were celebrating my 10K of visitors, even old Dick Clark got into the act. He dropped the code word for Fat in Indiana -- "Happy 2006". I hope you all celebrated my achievement in a worthy fashion. Some people even set off fireworks in my honor. Clearly that is too much, save that for 100K! But I am honored.

I spent the turning of the calendar kissing my girl, as I have every New Years since 1978. The thrill is still there when I kiss her lips.

No resolutions from the Hoosierboy, don't make 'em, so there is no failure when I don't keep 'em! No year end lists, no year end summaries, I leave that to other pundits and more capable writers.

Thank you for bothering with this blog, I often wonder what brings you here, I know it is not my editing, I cannot spell worth a damn. I never learned to type, so I know there are many proofreading errors. I even realize I am not much of a writer (I once was, but business writing has ruined me). I am not sure there is even much thought-out reasoning and well framed arguments to be found here. I guess I am in the Acidman's 90% of blogs suck category (I know DeBeste actually said it, but not many know who he is anymore). I do know I enjoy sharing with you, and look forward to each comment, link, and hit on the old sitemeter. For that I thank you and wish you the Happiest of New Years.

You have to go back to work.

I hope no one did this to your office while you were gone. Think about that over the weekend.
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