May 30, 2008

Rockin' Friday

This is for you supergurl. Check out the bass line about four minutes in. This is some great party music.

Makes me want to crack open a beer. A friend of mine told me a great story. He lived near the high school and they often found trash and empty beer cans etc. near their shed. One morning while they were eating breakfast before school his mom looked out the window. She said there were a bunch of boys out by the shed and that they must be really poor. My friend asked why she thought they were poor. His mom said "because they are all sharing the same cigarette". This song reminds me of that too, for some reason.

I watched the Movie Dazed and Confused last night. I swear they could have filmed my life in high school for that movie.

Friday Five

Is there a theme this week? I don't think so, but maybe you can find the deep hidden relationship in these five songs. Things are not so easy this week. Here are the first five six tunes spit out by my iPod on shuffle:

1. I'm just mad about Fourteen
Fourteen's mad about me
I'm just mad about Fourteen
She's just mad about me
Mellow Yellow by Donovan -- supergurl

2.Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
Time by Pink Floyd -- supergurl

3. All the lonely people
Where do they all come from ?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong ?
Eleanor Rigby by the Beatles -- Big Dick

4.Well, she wrote me a letter
Said she couldn't live without me no mo'.
Listen mister can't you see I got to get back
To my baby once a-mo'--anyway...
The Letter by the Boxtops -- Jerry

5. Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream
I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been
To sit with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen
They talk of days for which they sit and wait and all will be revealed
Kashmir by Led Zeppelin --ReyB

bonus: Did you see any action? Did you make any friends?
Would you like some affection? Before I leave again.

I've been walking behind you, since you've been able to see.
There's never been any reason, for you to think about me.

Did you have any bad dreams, did you break any glass?
Would you be my companion, is there even a chance?

You've been talking in circles, since I've been able to cry.

There's never been any reason, for ever telling me why, yea, yea.
Never been any reason by Head East -- Big Dick
I have seen this band a few times, most of you who live in the midwest probably caught their act in the '70's.

May 29, 2008

October 1993

The day my youngest came home from the hospital

How about a little bread and cheese...

I am looking for the Zapruder film of the company outing two weeks ago. There just had to be another person involved. Did another driver hit me from the grassy knoll area of the track? Two weeks of pain. Two weeks of wincing with every sneeze and twist of my torso.

Actually, the pulled muscle in my back felt much better over the weekend. I think I overdid things a bit and I am paying for it now. I also believe the soft pillow top mattress on my bed is a contributing factor. Until Sunday I was sleeping on the couch. The worsening of my injury coincides with moving to the bed. Of course I am a slow learner and stubborn mule, so I have tried the bed every night since. I moved to the couch in the middle of the night and we will see how things are later in the day.

That is my boo f-ing hoo poor me post for today. As if any of you really care...

May 28, 2008

More reasons to vote for Obama

So, if a Conservative or Republican (let us say Dan Quayle or GW for instance)had claimed his Uncle fought in WWII and helped liberate Auschwitz do you think the press would laugh it off as a 'mistake'? FYI, Auschwitz is in Poland and was liberated by the Soviets. Obama has made this claim twice (once it was an Uncle, once his Grandfather). We all know if a Repub made this claim he would be portrayed in the media as either an outright liar, or an ignorant fuck. This is no different than Hillery's claim of landing under sniper fire in the Balkans. These worthless pieces of shit will say anything, make up any lie, pander to the ignorant just to get elected. What makes a person that power-hungry? Why would you vote for him?

Seriously, someone please list five reasons I should vote for Obama. What do you people see in him?

May 27, 2008

Why you should vote for Obama

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. Things are not going so well in our nation. We need change. By the most objective standards the politicians have micro-managed the war in Iraq. The situation is quickly becoming lose/lose. Iran is growing in power and influence every day. The price of energy is careening out of control. If it continues, our economy will be left in shambles. The falling dollar is causing upturn in inflation, and the price of basic food is rising sharply. In the most prosperous nation on Earth we have too many hungry, too many with no hope, no future. It is time for a change.

Do you think we should talk more to those who hate us, to try and understand their point of view? Do you believe, like Jimmy Carter, that Iran is reasonable, and we should try diplomacy not threats? Is the real answer to world peace found in narrowing the gap between the rich and poor, the haves and have nots?

Are the banks and real estate speculators to blame for the high foreclosure rate and uneven money supply? Should the Government bail out those 'swindled' into bad mortgages and high interest?

Obama and the Socialist left of the Democratic Party believe the answer is more. More money, more taxes, more Government. A Congresswoman from California believes the answer to high gas prices is to "socialize" (and by that she means nationalize) the oil industry. Obama believes we should not be "allowed" to drive certain types of vehicles and the Government should determine the temperature we keep our house. Some faceless bureaucrat will determine what is comfortable. Mr. Obama thinks profit is bad and the companies that make too much should be punished. Both Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Obama think the Government should determine how and where private companies should do research and reinvest profits. I bet they believe the economy would run better if the Government determined what industry should produce and when it should do it. They could direct what crops should be planted and how many acres of corn or wheat would be grown to ensure no shortages. Is there not enough rice? Force the farmers to grow more next year. This will keep the prices low and supply at adequate levels.

Too many children are not learning. The government should demand accountability from the schools. Schools that do not make the grade should lose funding. Students should be allowed to go to better, more successful public schools (of course addressing the mind-boggling arcane custom of tenure would do more to get rid of bad teachers and improve education than any number of standardized tests and billions of dollars). We need to get children educated. Add preschool. Make Kindergarten full day. Some parents are not teaching their kids numbers and colors and preparing them for school and life, we will do it.

Are sick of rich SOBs like Bill Gates, Paris Hilton, and those CEOs making hundreds of millions of dollars? Do you believe athletes should not be allowed to make so much money?

Here are some suggestions that will fix the problems outlined above:

A heavy progressive or graduated income tax.

Abolition of all right of inheritance.

Centralization of credit in the hands of the State, by means of a national bank with State capital and an exclusive monopoly.

Centralization of the means of communication and transport in the hands of the State.

Extension of factories and instruments of production owned by the State; the bringing into cultivation of waste-lands, and the improvement of the soil generally in accordance with a common plan.

Combination of agriculture with manufacturing industries; gradual abolition of the distinction between town and country, by a more equable distribution of the population over the country.

Free education for all children in public schools. Abolition of children's factory labour in its present form. Combination of education with industrial production.

Does this sound reasonable to you? Do you believe these actions will restore America to prosperity, improve our image in the world, end hunger and poverty? If you think so, then you are not alone. In fact, a book was written in Germany some 160 years ago called Manifest der Kommunistischen Partei. it was written by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels and detailed and promted these very ideas.

Those statements are seven of the ten planks of the Communist Manifesto. Take a look at Cuba, Zimbabwe, Russia, and Venezuala. Do you like the way the Government handled the floods in Miramar (Burma)? Think the economy in South Africa is booming? Do you believe the Government of Angola or Mongolia or North Korea set good examples of efficiency? These are all Socialist/Communist nations. Do you see a track record of success anywhere communism is found? Has it ever worked? Do you notice that with Socialism comes a loss of freedom in every case? China has found economic success only by opening their markets to Capitalism.

Go ahead, vote for the Democrats. Put Obama in office, elect Hillary. Let them take over the oil companies, prices may come down, but nary a drop of oil will be found. Farms may produce, but we will have rationing and lines for basic necessities. Put the Feds in charge of health care, and you will wait years for elective surgery. Let some bureaucrat determine if you need that new knee, or that tonsillectomy. What incentive would drug companies have to spend years finding cures and relief for common ailments when the profits are confiscated by the government.

Go down to your local licence branch, if you think it is a model of efficiency, vote for Obama. Pray for the rest of us.

May 25, 2008

weekend funny

It's the summer of 1957 and Harold goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Harold's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a duck tail hairdo.

When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's mother answers and invites him in.

"Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" Peggy Sue's
mother asks Harold what they're planning to do.

Harold replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue's mother responds, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it."

Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Harold and he says, "Whaaaat?"

"Yes," says Peggy Sues mother, "We know Peggy Sue really likes to screw; why, she'd screw all night if we let her!"

Harold's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear. Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening.

A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes, and announces that she's ready to go.

Almost with breathless anticipation, Harold escorts his date out the front door while Mom is saying, "Have a good evening kids," with a small wink for Harold.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her mother:

"Dammit, Mom! It's the Twist! It's called The Twist!"

May 23, 2008

Friday Five

Here we are, the Friday before Memorial Day. Can we all say long weekend -- Hooray. For those of you who have to work, well, it sucks to be you. The rest of us will be cooking out, drinking beer and hopefully enjoying some warm weather.

Baseball season finally started last night. For once maybe my team will not suck. The boy did not play real well. He has been great in practice. He walked and struck out (Opening day -- one hour scrimmage games that do not count). He fielded a ground ball at second for an easy out at first -- only he threw it to the dugout. Arrgghh.

Time for the Friday Five lyric contest. Are you in the right state of mind? Remember we need the title and artist for credit. No cheating by using search engines.

1. In Birmingham they love the governor
Now we all did what we could do
Now Watergate does not bother me
Does your conscience bother you?
Tell the truth
Sweet Home Alabama by Lynrd Skynrd -- Rey B

2.Gotta get down to it
Soldiers are cutting us down
Should have been done long ago.
What if you knew her
And found her dead on the ground
How can you run when you know?
Ohio by Neil Young (CSNY) -- Dick

3.I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
New York New York as sung by Frank Sinatra and others --Freddie

4.all the leaves are brown
and the sky is grey
I've been for a walk
on a winter's day
California Dreamin' by the Mommas and the Pappas -- Rey B

5.And the devil jumped upon a hickory stump and said: "Boy let me tell you what:
"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
"And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.
"Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the devil his due:
"I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, 'cos I think I'm better than you."
The Devil went down to Georgia by CDB -- Freddie


I saw her stangin' on her front lawn
Just twirlin' her baton
Me and her went for a ride sir
And ten innocent people died

From the town of Lincoln Nebraska
Aith a sawed-off .410 on my lap
Through to the badlands of Wyoming
I killed everything in my path
Nebraska by the Boss -- Tom

double bonus -- what is the theme of this week's lyric contest?

May 22, 2008


I am as empty as the gas tank on a sports car that cries for premium. Maybe tomorrow.

May 21, 2008

Its my job

I am off to see a customer I do not like, to talk about his unending bitches and complaints. This guy will always have an issue. Even worse, I do not get sales credit for dealing with this putz. Some days I love my job. Oh, and it is a two hour drive each way.

May 20, 2008

Viewmaster slides of life

High gray clouds crabwalk across the sky. Drops of rain from last night's showers make an uneven backbeat in the downspout. The coffeemaker growls in accompaniment as I hunt and peck at the keyboard. A cardinal calls his mate from the fence as a shaft of sunlight stabs through the May morning. It remains unseasonably cold and wet. We have had rain 16 of the last 20 days. As I type I am composing two emails in my mind. One for a customer explaining why I have still not submitted the quote due last Friday. Another is for the powers that be demanding the cost information I need. I am a master at multi-tasking. Always the middleman, it is my lot in life to please no one.

Shock Jocks laugh away on the radio, barely heard. As I pour the coffee into my stoneware mug I pop a little chocolate donut in my mouth. They always remind me of John Belushi and his SNL skit. In spite of my efforts, I worry about the details of life. Bills, work, to-do lists, and how I am going to manage baseball practice tonight. I can neither throw nor hit the baseball. A rabbit sits beside my African grasses. The yard needs mowed and I want to plant tomatoes. The lights on the modem flash uncaring orange and green signals confirming I am communicating with the outside world. The letters on the monitor shout their need for attention. Are you listening?

May 19, 2008

Bad things

Here is a list of bad things that can happen to a marginally good person with a torn muscle in his lower back:

Springtime allergies (sneezes) This is the #1 bad thing -- ever
Burritos (draw your own conclusions)
alarm clocks going off after the first good night of sleep in four days
slamming doors
funny movies and TV shows

Here are some I have not experienced but would be also very painful:

snakes in the living room
roller coaster rides
scary movies
getting goosed
getting snuck up on (is that even proper English?)and hearing Boo!
riding a tilt-a-whirl
eating sweet potatoes. They will not hurt my back, I just hate them.
entering a sack race
bobbing for apples
going to the batting cage
acrobatics class
riding a four wheeler in rough terrain
water skiing
alligators in the tub
jumping rope
practicing as a lineman with the Indianapolis Colts
running a marathon
trying to see if I can duplicate the positions from the Kama Sutra
pulling weeds
throwing ice cubes at the fucking doves sitting on my roof (not that I would do that)
picking cotton
toe touches
flamenco dancing
fire walking
waxing the car
playing Jai Alai

May 18, 2008

A sore back is a pain in the ass

I broke down and went to the hospital this afternoon. After four days of pain, four days of walking in a slow shuffle listing to the right, four days of sleeping upright in a chair, four days of ice and heating pads in a failed effort of self healing, I finally sought professional help for my back pain. I am not a big fan of doctors, but things were not getting better -- in fact they were getting worse. You have no idea what it took to get me to get medical help.

So I got a shot in my right ass cheek for the pain. I got a shot in my left ass cheek to relax the muscles. I also got a prescription for pills to do the same. My back is still sore, but at least now it is a minor irritant instead of all consuming. The doctor said I was to lay down and forbid anyone but me to have the remote for the next few days. A damn fine plan, I think. The nurse said my ass was gonna hurt from the shots. She looked at my wife and said I might need the shots rubbed. The wife denies this comment was directed to her and said I could rub my own ass. See how I am babied around here? Any volunteers to massage my shots?

Weekend Funny

May 16, 2008

Friday Five volume MCXII

Last week I gave you incredibly easy lyrics. I think this week's contest will be Goldilocks (not too hard...not too easy...). This week we are working the oldies. Lets get right to it shall we?

1. My mother was a tailor
She sewed my new bluejeans
My father was a gamblin' man
Down in New Orleans
Now the only thing a gambler needs
Is a suitcase and trunk
And the only time he's satisfied
Is when he's on a drunk
House of the Rising Sun by the Animals -- Sohos and others

Stranglehold by Ted Nugent -- Otter

3. Now every time I look at you
Something is on my mind (dat-dat-dat-dat-dat-duh)
If you do what I want you to
Baby, we'd be so fine
Oh, life could be a dream (sh-boom)
If I could take you up in paradise up above (sh-boom)
If you would tell me I'm the only one that you love
Life could be a dream sweetheart
Sh-Boom by the Crew Cuts -- Mrs JG

4. People, dont you understand
The child needs a helping hand
Or hell grow to be an angry young man some day
Take a look at you and me,
Are we too blind to see,
Do we simply turn our heads
And look the other way
In the Ghetto by Elvis -- Mrs Goldbloom

5. Asking only workmans wages, I come lookin for a job, but I get no offers
Just a comeon from the whores on 7th avenue
I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there
The Boxer by Paul Simon -- Sohos


Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely
Stand by Your Man by Tammy Wynette -- Freddie

And that my friends, is some damn good advice.

edit. I am in a generous mood, if you guess either the artist or title I will give you credit.

I'm Back

Hola, I am back in the land of farms and flat land. Another long and boring sales meeting is in my rear view mirror. Let me insert a quick apology here. Sorry I did not call you ES, my phone was about dead (I forgot my charger)and I thought I better save it for bidnez. There were two interesting things that happened. We went go-kart racing. The high end very fast kind. It was a hoot. In one of the 7 lap qualifying heats one of the Chinese guys from the company plowed right in the back of me at more than 40 mph. He hit me so hard I flew over the tire barrier and into the wall. The impact knocked off one of my shoes, if you can believe it. It felt like someone hit me in the back with a bat. I have been in pretty severe pain since.

I still made the race for the top 11 drivers (11th starting spot!) and ended finishing 9th overall. I was fourth fastest prior to the crash and I just never was able to drive the hairpins as aggressively after I hurt my back. The pain got worse later in the night. I think I will survive though.

The second event was I found myself across from one of the big wheel mucky-mucks from the company at dinner one night. This guy was one of those North East ultra left liberals I have heard of. In all honesty, the so called liberals in the Hoosier State are pretty conservative. Anyway, I have never heard such anger and hate. This guy could have been a poster over at the Daily Kos or Democrat Underground. Usually Religion and politics are never discussed in business settings, but this guy went on and on about how he does not trust any electric voting machines because the Republicans control that industry and have written code in the software that allows the results to be manipulated. He told why we must not let any other Republican nominate a judge for the Supreme Court, and how Bush is personally to blame for every thing wrong in the world.

You would have been proud of me, peeps. I did not slam him in place with his crazy talk. I just smiled and stayed out of the fray. I just put in a few jabs on occasion. For instance when he started in on Bush causing oil to rise and that Bush was responsible for the foreclosure rate I pointed out neither were issues before we elected a Democrat-controlled Congress. Then, in a completely out of character moment for me, I let him off the hook by saying that I am not sure either crises was caused by the President or Congress, and that long-held banking policies and economics had more to do with it. He told me we never had such issues under Clinton. For the most part I let it ride. It was a real treat to meet one of these guys in real life -- kind of like seeing the snakes at the zoo.

I will be back later with a Friday Five. I hope you are ready to play.

May 13, 2008

I Love Travel

Well I finally arrived to the wondefull and fantastic New York City area. I left home at 9:00 am and arrived at my hotel a little after midnight. For those of you keeping score, I could have driven in that time.

It started with a delay in Indy that made me miss my conection. East Coast weather conspired and I spent the next SEVEN effing hours in Detroit. I did break it up and spent 4 hours in Terminal A and three hours in Terminal C. NW airlines was generous enough to give me a $5 meal voucher. Of course five bucks will not even buy a beer at the airport.

Well off to the sales meeting. I can say this -- a typical sales meetng is more exciting than a librarian convention!

May 12, 2008

I am leaving on a jetplane

Off to the big sales meeting. On a side not it probably was not a good idea to pitch 1-1/2 hours of batting practice Saturday evening. My shoulder aches and my back is so tight I cannot even move. I cannot even scratch my balls without wincing in pain. Some days I forget I am an ancient 46. It should be a great time schlepping my luggage through various airports to my super sekrit most boring and un-tropical, non-resort location. I keep trying to make them understand going to the home office for the annual sales meeting is not a treat. If everyone would just follow my advise this would be a much better world. On that I am sure we can all agree.

Maybe I will post this week, maybe not. The best course of action is to check back here at least once every hour.

May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day to all you Mommies.

May 10, 2008

Weekend Funny -- Sleepy Saturday Edition

Boy, I thought the Friday Five were easy yesterday. I dropped the song title right into every lyric, usually more than once. The bonus was a curve ball though, since the title is not a lyric in the song at all. Hey Dragon, you should have read my comment with the hint a little closer:
sorry -- maybe the third time is a charm. For what it is worth, here is a hint: ALL of the Friday Five have the actual song title in the posted lyrics. The bonus does not.

Subtle is not usually a description you would apply to my persona. Sometimes I can fool you if you are not paying attention!

Last night the Middle School sponsored a lock-in from 11:00 pm until 6 am for those eighth graders who have good grades and attendance. The wife and I agreed to be chaperons. The boy had a fine time. I slept from 6:30 until 9:30 am this morning. I had to get up and post something for you. You all owe me big time.

Here is today's Weekend Funny. Right when I was running out my friend Jan sent me a bunch more cartoons:

May 9, 2008

Sexual Palindrome

It is funny how phrases get locked in your mind on a long boring drive. If I ever form a band 'Sexual Palindrome" will be our name. That is not likely to happen since I can neither sing nor play an instrument.

On a totally unrelated note, is the I-65/ I-80 interchange ever going to be finished? How many years have they been working on it now?

This week's Friday Five are so easy, you can not even call them softballs. It is like bowling with bumpers or hitting a wiffle ball from a tee with one of those giant, oversized bats little kids use. Good luck, and no cheating!

1. In the shuffling madness
Of the locomotive breath,
Runs the all-time loser,
Headlong to his death.
Locamotive breath by Jethro Tull -- Tom

2.Out there in the spotlight your a million miles away,
Every ounce of energy, you try and give away,
As the sweat pours out your body like the music that you play.
Later in the evening as you lie awake in bed,
With the echo from the amplifiers ringing in your head,
You smoke the days last cigarette, remembering what she said.
Now here I am, on the road again. there I am, up on the stage.
Here I go, playing star again.
There I go, turn the page.
Here I am, on the road again. there I am, up on the stage.
Ah here I go, playing star again.
There I go, there I go.
Turn the page by Bob Seger -- Mrs JG

3. This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
The End by the Doors -- Dragon

4. Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
And maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
If I made you feel second best
Girl I'm sorry I was blind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
Always on my mind by Willie Nelson -- Mrs JG

5. Seasons don't fear the reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain (We can be like they are)
Come on baby (Don't fear the reaper)
Baby take my hand (Don't fear the reaper)
We'll be able to fly (Don't fear the reaper)
Baby I'm your man
Don't Fear the reaper by Blue Oyster Cult -- Dragon

and the bonus:

Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
You step out of line, the man come and take you away
We better stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, now, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, children, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
For what its worth by Buffalo Springfield -- Tom

May 7, 2008


I have questions.

The wife watches American Idol. Last night the theme was Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. One of the contestants sang a Duran Duran song -- Hungry like the wolf.

Please tell me Duran Duran is not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Surely not. If not, how could he sing that song?

Wednesday Wanderings

I used to have a near photographic memory. I could recite back entire passages of books I had read. Names, dates and history were at my immediate beck and call. I could describe from memory the details and troop movements by regiment in the Battle of Chicamauga. The order of battle at Shiloh or the names of each of the Zulu Impis that attacked the 24th Foot at Isadhlwanda was on the tip of my tongue. I could tell you the first dozen Roman Emperors and the dates they ruled along with the names of their wives and children. I would sit on the couch shouting the answers to nearly every question on Jeopardy. I could memorize details for tests -- the periodic table, metric/English conversions, foreign words and phrases. I possessed an almost encyclopedic knowledge of part numbers -- customer, competitor, and of the various companies for whom I have worked. I was a virtual walking phone book -- pizza places, customers, relatives and friends.

No more. Every day I find my vaunted memory fails me. I could sit in business meetings and later relate the conversations verbatim in trip reports. Now I have to take notes. Is this a function of age? Like my vision, is my brain just getting weaker? Is it a question of no longer focusing so intently? Am I out of storage capacity and facts I no longer need are stuffed away, harder to access? Is it all still in my brain, a rusty dusty file cabinet of useless details stored in the basement? If I actually found my self in a discussion of the Boer War, could I discuss the role of Jan Smuts, one memory stirring another? Is this something I should be concerned about? An emotional mixture of paranoia and hypochondria makes for some crazy self-diagnosis.

Hah, Woody lost the Congressional race. I am not in his district, but his ads ran every commercial break. They were filled with distortion and in some cases outright falsehoods. Maybe he should have concentrated on running against his opponent instead of "George Bush's mess".

The weather has been great, but it looks like rain is settling in for a few days. I mowed last night. That is almost as good a guarantee of rain as washing the car. Now the weeds will grow even faster.

Did you see the pictures of the Cinco de Mayo celebrations at a high school in Californica? They hoisted the Mexican flag above an upside-down Stars and Stripes. If Mexico is so great, why don't they just go back?

Am I the only one who enjoys the feature from the past few Fridays -- guess the lyrics?

Well, I can no longer avoid working on my sales presentation. It is going to be a disaster. We are limited to six slides, but have 45 minutes to fill. I expect a thorough grilling.

May 6, 2008

A day at the beach

It is going to be a perfect day today, makes me think of the beach.

May 5, 2008

New Improved -- With All Natural Ingedients

I have a very busy week ahead. Customer visits are on tap. I have to prepare for the annual sales meeting coming up next week. I have not even started on my presentation. Some joker made the quarterly forecast due at the same time. My preprinted forecast sheets are more than 110 pages long. In my spare time I have to mow the yard (or do you say cut the grass, cut the lawn, mow the lawn?). The point is posting may be light this week. Or not. Your best bet is to check in twenty or thirty times a day to see if I have anything new up.

So Dick can rest easy, this old fart is merely coaching a team of 13-15 year olds. What fun and joy, they have such great attitudes and respond so favorably to criticism...

For any of you so stupid as to buy into the Federal Gas tax holiday bullshit, consider this. None of the candidates will take office until January 2009. Maybe some of you law experts can help me here, but tax law and tax codes are created by Congress. Does the President even have the authority to override a law passed by Congress? In any case you will not see relief for a long, long, long time. In the years it will take to create the mythical alternate fuels, more efficient engines etc., we could have the oil flowing out of ANWR. More supply will decrease demand and give us lower prices. I do not understand what the most basic truth of economics eludes the socialists of the world. The law of supply and demand always always always is in effect for every commodity. Your wife understands this when she uses her 'favors' to get you to paint the living room, and the smart guys at OPEC understand it too. Even the most primitive aborigines in the deepest jungles know that if an item is rare or scarce, it has greater value. There is a reason dirt has never been used as currency.

My Dad sent me a terrifying email. The formatting was all hinky, he somehow cut off half of the pictures and text -- vertically. I was able to make out the gist of the story. It seems some lady, in some city bought some plants from some store. You are already convinced of the veracity aren't you? Any way when she replanted the perennials and pulled the liner from the bottom of the pot it was filled with tiny, baby, oh so cute copperheads. They look like menacing poisonous worms in the picture. If that had happened to me, we would have had lots of fertilizer for the plants, 'cause I would have shit right on the spot.

It reminds me of the time Otter and I were at Boy Scout Camp near Bloomington, Indiana (locals know which one I am referring). We took a little used trail behind the Chapel and he stepped on a whole mess of baby copperheads. Lucky he had boots on. That year (mid 1970's) the snakes were thick at the camp. We saw dozens of blacksnakes and copperheads that summer. I do not think I slept the whole week, worrying a snake would curl up next to me in the sleeping bag.

May 4, 2008

Sunday Morning

I pitched batting practice on Thursday. I moved the boy out of his third floor dorm on Friday. I moved my daughter from her third floor room and most of her furniture from her bedroom at the house yesterday. We have one more load to take today -- a few dishes and the bed. There are also a few more clothes in her college room.

I am sore. Those three words say so much, yet are so completely inadequate to describe the state of my body. It is a struggle to reach up to scratch my head. I have baseball practice this evening. There is no way on earth I will be able to throw a ball, forget batting practice. I hope I can at least hit infield.

May 3, 2008

Insert big Sigh here

I am ready. Today I know I will have an argument with my wife. It is inevitable.

We are moving my daughter into an apartment. She is taking summer classes and working in Indy.

The wife cried like a baby when we took the daughter to school her freshman year, again when we took my son to college. This time one of the kids is moving out and it is going to be hard. I will be tired and irritable from lifting and carrying. The wife is going to be the same. We both are going to be emotional -- the first of our babies is leaving the nest and I do not think she will be back. Her life is ahead of her.

So yeah, a fight is on the horizon and it will be over something silly. Dumb things are always the catalyst. I am going to try hard to have some patience. By the third time I have repositioned the dresser, I will be ready to explode. I will have to grin and remember I love these women.

Some days life is a little harder than others.

May 2, 2008

Friday Five

Do you remember those hot summer days as a kid when the carnival would mysteriously show up at the grocery parking lot and in hours you could ride the tilt-a-whirl, the scrambler or the bullet? You would rush home and scrape up your quarters and beg some money from your mom to ride the rides. Remember the flashing lights and the smell of grease and oil and machinery and sweat and corn dogs and cotton candy? They never do that around here any more.

I enjoyed the Friday Quiz last week, so lets do the lyric challenge again. Some are hard, some not so much. Remember no using Google or search engines!

1. Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me
Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you
Fly me to the moon -- Jerry

2.Where are those happy days, they seem so hard to find
I tried to reach for you, but you have closed your mind
Whatever happened to our love?
I wish I understood
It used to be so nice, it used to be so good
SOS by ABBA -- Mrs JG

3.The ice age is coming, the sun is zooming in
Engines stop running and the wheat is growing thin
A nuclear error, but I have no fear
London is drowning-and I live by the river
London Calling by the Clash -- Otter

4. Then I got mary pregnant and man that was all she wrote
And for my nineteen birthday I got a union card and a wedding coat
We went down to the courthouse and the judge put it all to rest
No wedding day smiles no walk down the aisle
No flowers no wedding dress
The River by Springsteen -- Mrs JG

5.Sister Bluebird flying high above,
Shine your wings forward to the sun.
Hide the myst'ries of life on your way.
Though you've seen them, please don't say a word.
What you don't know, I have never heard.
Starship Trooper by Yes -- RalphD00d

bonus (this one is for you Dragon):

Lime and limpid green, a second scene
A fight between the blue you once knew.
Floating down, the sound resounds
Around the icy waters underground.
Jupiter and Saturn, Oberon, Miranda
And Titania, Neptune, Titan.
Stars can frighten. Astronomy Domine by Pink Floyd

May 1, 2008

I hate politicians

Windfall taxes on the oil companies will be a VERY SHORT TERM fix to high gas prices. The result will be gas shortages and eventually even higher prices as the companies find a way to maintain profits and pass the taxes to the end user.

Obama and Clinton both say they want to pour millions into alternative sources for fuel.. What are these mysterious sources that will reduce our dependence on oil in months or years? There is no promising solution on the horizon. How about we drill for our OWN oil? The increased flow of oil will reduce DEMAND by increasing SUPPLY. Then prices will come down. One clear reason gas is $3.75 a gallon is Bill Clinton's veto of approval to drill in ANWR ten years ago.

To the local politician who runs ads 24/7 -- George Bush has never sponsored, voted upon or passed a single piece of legislation. Either you are a pandering liar, or you have absolutely no knowledge or understanding of the political process. Either makes you an unacceptable candidate.

The Government cannot create jobs. Presidents cannot make our streets safer. Punishing oil companies will not reduce the price nor increase the supply of gas. Will Clinton/Obama explain how giving people tax refunds now will help stimulate the economy, but how tax cuts are evil? Does not each put more spending money into the hands of the consumer?

I have more -- lots more -- but I am out of time. Work, work, work.
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