September 30, 2023

Its Not In The Way That You Hold Me

Happy Saturday. It looks to be a great day. I have to cut the lawn today, it looks like a pasture in the back yard. I went to fire up the grill the other day and saw there was a thistle about a foot high near the patio box. So much work to do.. 

It is easy to get ambitious on a Saturday morning, flush with the prospect of $17.00 in royalties. 

Perhaps we should listen to some music and think about it.

September 29, 2023

Golf Lessons

 A blonde arrived for her first golf lesson and the pro asked her  to take a swing at a ball to see how she’d do.

The blonde did so and completely duffed the shot.

The pro said “Your swing is good but you’re gripping the club too hard. Hold the club just like you would your husband’s manhood.”

The blonde took another shot and nailed the ball 275 yards straight down the fairway.

The pro said “That was excellent!!

“Let’s try it again, only this time take the club out of your mouth.”

Probably NSW.

You shouldn’t probably read this blog at work anyway.

September 27, 2023

I give it a three, it is hard to dance to

So, it is with excitement and trepidation I present:

You can buy it here in paperback or Kindle. I priced it as low as possible. 

Look, I have no illusions. But if you do bother to read it, give me five stars. Then give an honest review. Amazon only cares about the stars. Me too. *

It is done, one item on the bucket list complete, even if it only proves that a person can read ten thousand books and completely lack the skill and ability to write one good one.

So it goes.

*I do care about the actual review. I really don’t want it to suck.

Bitten by Bidenomics

Yikes! Have you priced groceries lately? Wow, one or two little plastic bags runs $20. I often buy the generic brand of whole peeled tomatoes to make salsa. Not so long ago they cost about $0.90. A few weeks ago they were $1.19. Yesterday, they were $1.40! That is for Great Value brand. The good stuff was pushing $2. 

I won’t even discuss the rape at the gas pump. Of course the dementia in-chief just closed off more land to drill for oil., so I am not surprised. The laws of supply and demand work even when would-be commies are in charge. 

Biden is so clueless he is pushing for a UAW 40% raise. He even pretended to walk the picket line for a photo op.* Yes, I know it is so he can get the union vote. But that kind of increase will not lower the CEO pay. It will not come out of auto company profits. It will mean more expensive cars, feeding inflation more. 

And by the way, one of the concerns of the UAW is that EVs take fewer workers to assemble a vehicle so Biden’s policies are hurting who— bing, bing, bing — the Union!

But hey, no one is posting mean tweets. 

*He spent 12 whole minutes walking the picket line

Oh, and again, none of his massive motorcade has the EV he demands we all drive, then he jumps on his jet to fly off to the west coast for a fundraiser. But no worries, climate change is for the little people, we know that.

September 25, 2023

cigars were smoked and beer was consumed on Saturday

It was a good weekend. No, I did not get the lawn cut. No yard work was completed. The house went uncleaned. I did not shampoo the living room carpet. Nor did I paint the walls in the family room and kitchen. These are all projects we pondered for the weekend. Instead, went to hang out with friends on Saturday. This is likely one of the last weekends this year we will get to enjoy their pool. On Sunday the wife and I went up to Atlanta (IN) for a big festival. We walked around. She looked at stuff, I listened to music in my ear buds and watched people. After we came home the wife went shopping while I plopped on he couch and watched a recording of the Colts game. Colts won. Cubs won. It was a good day all around. 

I hope you had a great weekend too. 

On a completely unrelated note, here is a cell phone picture of a landmark from my hometown. Not the tent, the big castle-like building in the distance:

This was a school. It closed one year before I could go there.

If you have ever read the oft-posted account of my first date with my now-wife, that dance was held upstairs in that building.

I have no reason to believe you care about this at all. I haven’t even lived in that town for 35 years.

September 24, 2023

what Ned Stark said

The trees in the neighborhood were sitting Friday afternoon wrapping up the week. They looked at the day planner and gave a startled exclamation. “Oh, crap!” They said. “It is fall.”

So today, I notice the leaves are starting to turn to yellow and russet and orange hues. The nights are decidedly cool and the days are pleasantly warm. Yes, friends, fall is upon us. 

We may or may not be okay with that notion. Me, I do not mind. I’m a four seasons kind of guy. But consider this. It is about ninety days until Christmas.

Here is some music to cheer you up:

September 23, 2023


A husband and wife are sitting on the couch watching TV.

The wife looks at the husband and he is staring at the ceiling above her head, she looks up and asks,

“What are you staring at?”

“A spider,” he replies.

“I don’t see anything,” she says.

“Oh, it must have fallen on your head,” he said calmly.

The wife jumps up screaming…

The man says,

“While you’re up, can you get me another beer?”

September 22, 2023

Middle School Blues

I had a morning appointment yesterday to get the oil changed in the company car. As I headed through the neighborhood, the kids of middle-school age were gathered on the corner waiting on the bus. They were typical almost teens, standing nonchalantly, book bags slung on their backs. 

Except one boy. He was standing off to the side, head hanging. He looked like climbing on the bus was the last thing he wanted to do. I could guess, maybe his homework was unfinished, eaten by the dog, as it  were. Perhaps he was tired. Maybe he was the frequent target of bullies. Perchance he failed to study for that history test in first period. I doubt it was any of those scenarios that brought on the air of depression to this young student on the bare edge of young adulthood. 

I’m certain the fact he was waiting at the bus stop with his mother had everything to do with his dejected attitude. 

It is time to let go mom.

September 21, 2023

If you try sometimes, you get what you need

I could bore you with a weather report that has no bearing unless you reside in central Hoosierdom. I could copy and paste a joke. I might offer select bon mots and pearls of wisdom. I am prepared to launch into a political diatribe filled with invective and reasoned punditry. I should fire up the old laptop and get to work. 

Paycheck wins, your daily entertainment loses.

So it goes here at the old blog. 

Okay, okay, I had spaghetti for dinner, then we went to Target...zzzzzzzzz

Yes, my life is that boring.

My wife tells me this frequently.

September 19, 2023

Just Like Tommy

For the first time since July 2, the vision in my left eye is completely unobstructed. No blood hemorrhages in my retina and the air bubble inserted by the surgeon two weeks ago was finally dissipated when I woke up this morning. That means I no longer have an internal level in my eye, but...good, it was annoying. 

Who knew I cock my head to the left when I am thinking? Probably everyone who knows me, but that is  not relevant. I can see, I can read. No more walking around like Popeye, one eye closed as I navigate the stairs. That, my friends, is worth a prayer of thanksgiving. 

September 18, 2023

September 17, 2023

Football doesn’t build character, it reveals character

For the first time since big hair and shoulder pads were the fashion, I attended a college football game yesterday.  The Wabash College Little Giants took on the Butler Bulldogs at Butler University. It was a family affair. My daughter and son-in-law both graduated from Butler University. 

The daughter, SIL, both granddaughters, and my wife wore Bulldog T-shirts, I pulled on my scarlet Wabash shirt and off we went. Wabash lost to  the much bigger school, but it was still a great time. The small college atmosphere is still terrific for watching football. 

I just have one burning question. When did college kids get so young? They were all just kids. 

Wabash just before a touchdown pass

September 16, 2023

Runs the all-time loser

I have to be honest, I’d like a pension, a thirty percent raise, automatic cost of living raises, and to get paid for forty hours while working thirty. I bet you would too. You would also say I’m unrealistic, unless you are a UAW worker who is already making $75K working the assembly line. The union thinks these demands are perfectly fine. 

So we will see what happens as the UAW strikes the Big Three and if cars and trucks are not available, then consumers will buy from foreign automakers who have stock. In the meantime, for every striking autoworker, six other jobs are effected.  Most of those workers are making nowhere near $75K. 

If the Union is do concerned about the long-term effects of EVs on the number of workers (an electric vehicle has far fewer components and needs fewer workers to assemble), then maybe the UAW should re-think their lockstep Democrat Party allegiances. It is the Democrats mostly pushing this WeAreAllGonnaDieClimateChange crap.

Have a great Saturday. Here is some music for your enjoyment.

September 15, 2023

In search of civility

The wife was driving the granddaughters home yesterday and stopped at a traffic light to make a left turn. The oldest looked at the car beside her window and read the bumper sticker. 

“Fuck Biden,” she asked. “What does that mean?”

You may or may not agree with the sentiment, but it is not necessary to broadcast the vulgarity where parents are put into a position to have to explain those words to little kids. 

I’m no prude. I’ve used the old eff word more times than I can count. You have read it here many times. It was right there in the joke I posted Wednesday. I do maintain there is a time and a place. It doesn’t need to be on your T-shirt. It does not need to be on your bumper. And it doesn’t need to be dropped in routine conversation when small children are present.

Your mileage may vary.

You are probably wrong.

September 13, 2023

Work Ethic

Here’s a heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little girl and some construction workers.

This will make you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of your time…

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot.

One day, a construction crew came in and began building a house on the empty lot.

The family’s 5-year-old daughter became interested in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually, the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a project mascot.

They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they took coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, the men presented her with a pay envelope which contained 2.00.

The little girl took this home to her mother, who said all the appropriate words of admiration, and suggested that they take the money she received to the bank to start a savings account.

When they talked to the bank teller, she was equally impressed and” asked the little girl how she had earned her very own pay check at such a young age.

The child proudly replied: “I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us.”

“My goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week, too?”

The little girl replied, “I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fuckin sheet rock…”

September 12, 2023

Up, Up, and Away

Sunday morning I was watching some worthless crap on TV when I heard a roar and wish outside. It seems the balloon event over at Conner Prairie was kicking off and the balloons were launching from the school behind my house. Here is one flying right over my patio. 

September 11, 2023

Never forget

 I hope you do not need me to remind you.

September 10, 2023

Looking under water

It is time for some football! It is a great time of year, the NFL kicks off, baseball is in the homestretch. The heatwave has broken. 

I have plenty to be thankful for this week. My great HVAC man was able to get my AC up and running with a small - a few hundred- cost as opposed to buying a new unit. He is an honest soul. 

On Thursday I had my eye operated on. The doc says it went well. He opened it up, cleaned out the blood, scrapped away some scar tissue, and lasered the bleeders. He is holding it all back in place with an air bubble. For now, I can’t see out of that eye at all, but it will gradually clear up in a week or so. The biggest pain is having to sleep on my side with a plastic guard taped to my face lest I rub the peeper in my sleep. 

No, the biggest pain is no vision on the left side. As a semi-paranoid, it is disconcerting to not know if someone is sneaking up on me. Are they out to get you? Then don’t judge. 

Anyway, I’m doing fine. Have a great Sunday. 

September 8, 2023

Things that go bump in the night

A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents’ room.

Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, “Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you’re bouncing up and down on him.”

His mom is taken by surprise and says, “Oh, well I’m bouncing on his stomach because he’s fat and that makes him thin again.” And the boy says, “Well, that won’t work!”

His mom says, “Why?!?”

The boy replies, “Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!”

September 7, 2023

Like freshly canned peaches

I am off today to have my left eyeball sliced open yet again. The blood from the torn vessel on July 2 is still blurring my vision. I have never before looked forward to a procedure in my life. Ha! He said “looked.” 

I hope by early next week to have my normal shitty vision returned.

Counting the two cornea transplants (one failed), this will be the third time my left eye has been operated on. Do I count the insertion of the plastic lens for cataracts when the transplant was done? In addition, I have had at least four laser procedures done on that eye to cauterize tiny bleeders. Oh, left eye, you are a pain! 

Right eye = one transplants and a couple of lasers, one to rid scar tissue from the transplant. What a good eye!

I have some audio books and podcasts ready to go, besides, I will still have the use of the right eye. 

Anyway, this is a canned post. I’ll be under the knife by the time you read this. Assume everything went fine. 

I have a not-so-fresh entry penned for Friday already. We shall see where I am on Saturday. Don’t worry if I don’t put up anything, unless I fail to post for a week or so. Then you can assume the worst. So it goes. 

I have no intention of letting the crappy joke canned for tomorrow be my last blogging words. It would be fitting, but a pity.

September 6, 2023

We need a Rush

My City Was Gone by the Pretenders came on the radio. Like millions, as soon as I heard the opening riff my mind went straight to Rush Limbaugh. Some days I miss the radio host’s bombastic analysis. We need a unifying voice for conservative  politics these days.

In fairness, I miss the Rush from the early years, not what he became in the end. I did not listen to Rush much in the last years. 

I do remember the early days. I had started a new job. I was living in a hotel while my family prepared to move. I knew no one, so I grabbed fast food and drove to the park to eat my lunch and listened to the AM radio in my old ‘66 Chevy truck. And then that opening riff started and there was a guy who articulated exactly what I thought. It was great.

I think it is fair to say much of the polarization of today’s politics lie with the success of his show. As Rush pointed out the total bias and hypocrisy of the mainstream media, they dug in and tried to put up a unified front to counterbalance Limbaugh’s immense popularity. 

We need someone to be that guy today. 

September 5, 2023

It is getting hot in here

It was a great holiday weekend until it wasn’t. We hit a music festival on Saturday, watched the Cubs on Sunday, and the air conditioner quit yesterday. I will call the HVAC guy this morning. I hope it is a part. Not the whole unit. So it goes. 

September 4, 2023

Poof! It was gone

We were driving back from Cincinnati last evening after watching the Cubs emerge victorious over the Reds when a good post for today came to mind. 

Then I slept and now I have nuthin’. 

Have a great Holiday Monday.

September 3, 2023

 RIP Jimmy

One of my favorites 

September 2, 2023

Party On

I hope you have some fun scheduled for the holiday weekend. It appears we will have terrific weather here in god’s favorite State. For those who care, college football kicks off this weekend. I am more interested in the NFL games next week. It is okay, we don’t have to like the same stuff. 

The wife and I are meeting up with some friends to go to a music festival today. It looks like it will be a bit warm for the afternoon and evening part, but it beats overcast and cold. Old Henry Lee is the headliner. We have seen him dozens of times. There is no better entertainer in rock and roll; and that includes Springsteen.

I look forward to a great Saturday. I hope you have one too.

Some great shots of Broadripple back in the eighties in that video.

Apparently Jimmy Buffet has died. That dude entertained me too. RIP

September 1, 2023

Willy Won’t Go

You know what’s coming. Maybe you will surprised. Maybe you will say “it’s been a long time since I heard that”. Perhaps you will say “WTH is that?”. I don’t know.

I do know it is Friday and this work day cannot get over fast enough. We have a busy weekend in front of us. We are going to a concert Saturday. We are going to see the Cubs/Reds game Sunday. 

In the meantime, I have to say I never particularly liked nor disliked this tune:

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