December 31, 2020

Happy New Year

Best Wishes for a great 2021

2020 cannot be gone soon enough.  Good Riddance, I say.  But not before I wish my internet friend best wishes for the happiest of birthdays 🥳 

Thanks for reading and be safe.

If you drink, don’t drive

I plan on stealing a kiss from my girl at midnight for the 42nd year in a row even though I have to be at work at 6:00 AM tomorrow.  So it goes.

Happy New Year.

December 30, 2020

Winding Down

 Sigh

Internet troubles abound so I’m typing this on my trusty little phone. That is far from optimum. The things I do half-arsed for you

The year is winding down and good riddance  I may or may not have a year end review post for you on the morrow. 

I won’t, but I may wish you a happy New Year

I have the very early shift at work so at some point I’ll post. Maybe

In case I don’t, Happy New Year and my heartfelt thanks for reading this almost-daily drivel

December 28, 2020

Good Deeds and Heaven

 A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked.

“Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy offered.

“On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, “Now, back off or I’ll kick the shit out of all of you!”

St. Peter was impressed, “When did this happen?”

“Couple of minutes ago.”

December 26, 2020

Electronic Service Requested

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday. I did, once again reminding myself it is not about the stuff. We had a great dinner at my daughter's. The Grandgirls had a blast opening and playing with their new toys. My youngest son was there (although his girlfriend was sick at home) and we video chatted with the middle son. It was a great and wonderful day. On Thursday we went up and visited with my dad. I refused to worry or dwell on my problems. It was a great Christmas all around.

It remains cold with temps in the teens and wind chills near zero. A small warm up is expected starting tomorrow. I won't notice. I'll be at work. It has been nice having some days off, but I will be back at it this week. I expect the "returns" cart to be full all day with returned Christmas stuff: used displays and lights, unwanted goods, and equipment purchased by doing-their-best to choose the right gift spouses. 

Yeah, I said used lights and displays. People are horrible and amazingly dishonest. It breaks my heart to see what people are capable of. It would never occur to me to buy something, use it, and take it back to the store. I am so naive. 

Onc group of people who never fail to live up to my low expectations are the politicians that run our government. The corrupt men and women of both parties once again have decided to load a simple bill to help out the American people with tons of pork, including foreign aid. Nothing like borrowing money to give to someone else. Finally, at the end, the Government purse strings were opened enough to return a grudging pittance to the taxpayers. 

I have said often that every elected politician needs to get a required tattoo on the back of their right hand that reads "That is someone else's money" . It would need to be painfully re-done every time they win an election. Oh well, I'm sure once they got into office the corrupt pricks would find a way to avoid it, make money off of it, or dump the responsibility on someone else. 

See, there we go veering into politics and ruining the good vibe I had built up.

Have a great Saturday.

December 25, 2020

December 23, 2020

Almost

 One of my favorites:



December 21, 2020

Little Known Christmas Fact

 When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.

In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, ‘Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?’

And thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Not very many people know this.

December 19, 2020

heading down the home stretch

A little snow lingers in the shaded parts of the yard; next to the house and along the fence. Otherwise it is just a bit soggy outside. Rain is expected today, but there is a chance for more snow on Thursday as a Christmas cold front moves in. 

Christmas music is softly playing in the background as I hunt and peck on the keyboard. I am desperately trying to get myself into the Holiday spirit with little success. I feel like I am going through the motions. I will resist the temptation to go all feel sorry for myself yet again. No one wants to read that garbage.

I have the 10-7 stretch at work today. If the last few days are an indication, it will be a long slow day. I would rather be busy than spend time on make-work. 

The coffee is hot. I got a good night's sleep. I have a wife who appears to love me. I have plenty to be Thankful for. You do too.


 
I cannot state with more stridency how much I loathe the Bing/Bowie version of The Little Drummer Boy. I won't play it here, rest assured..

Have a great Saturday.

December 18, 2020

Do you hear what I hear?

The day is off to a cold start this December Friday..I had the closing shift last night and again today.  Then I have the midday shift over the weekend. Whatever. 

I'm a bit sore and achy this morning. My old shoulder injury from pitching baseball has returned in recent months.  I guess that torn rotator cuff did not heal itself, even if it is a decade later. I should confess the shoulder injury was from pitching hundreds of balls every day to the boy when he was playing lots of baseball or maybe I have injured it again. Who knows? It doesn't matter. Ibuprofen will get me by. 

We still have several Christmas presents to get. I have purchased nothing at all for the wife. The granddaughters are done and that is what is most important. It will, by necessity, be a sparse Christmas this year. I am OK with that. It stresses the wife beyond measure. I keep telling her the kids and family don't mind, they know the score. But growing up exceedingly poor has marked her in many ways. She enjoys giving during the holidays, I guess because she never "got". She doesn't want stuff for herself, but she gets immense joy from watching others get gifts. 

I have so many favorite Christmas tunes it is a tough choice to find one to post here. I'm running out of days. I know you are waiting impatiently to see what music I will choose. I just know you are.


I notice I gravitate to the old singers from the sixties when I choose my Christmas music. I guess because my parents had a ton of the compilation Christmas albums from Firestone, or whatever. They were on constant rotation on the old giant stereo turntable in the living room all through the holidays. These tunes are the soundtrack of my Christmas memories. 

Have a great Friday.



December 17, 2020

Miscelaneous Musings

Last Thursday the wife used the USPS to mail a box to the Boy in Denver. She paid extra to get the Priority two day delivery. She checked the tracking Monday and the package had not been delivered. She dug deeper on Tuesday and discovered the package was still in Indianapolis. The day after it was promised, it still had not shipped. Yesterday the box had made its way to Chicago. In the 1850s the Pony Express delivered mail from Missouri to California in 10 days. Via horse.  When I called to complain I was told the Priority Mail no longer is guaranteed, the two day delivery we paid for was an estimate. If we wanted guaranteed we should have purchased Priority Mail Express. Whatever. This is not just bad service. It is unacceptable service. I filled out the customer satisfaction survey from my receipt. Since the USPS asked for no identification, no email, no address, no phone number, not even my name, it is clear they have no interest in my opinion nor offering a follow up. That's why we will use FedEx or UPS next time. We should have known, it took 17 days for his birthday card to travel from Indy to Denver.

I have been reading an excellent history of the Battle for Hue during the Tet offensive in Vietnam. It is authored by Mark Bowden (Black Hawk Down). It is riveting and reads like a novel. I'm about 50% in and the book seems a pretty fair and even handed presentation. Westmoreland doesn't come off so well, but the criticism is pretty much deserved. If I remember, I'll let you know what I think when I get the history finished.

I have a low tire pressure light on the car. I need to head out and see which tire is the culprit. I have a little compressor tha tworks via the car's cigarette lighter port. No, there is no cigarette lighter, just that port. 

Those of you living in a fantasy that somehow the Congress will throw out the Electoral College vote and keep the Trumpster in office need to get over it. Biden* is the President. Yes, he will always have an asterix as far as I'm concerned, but Congress is no more going to overthrow the "results" than any court, including the SCOTUS would. It is not going to happen. EOS.

Calling HR

 Every day, a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine.

He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, the woman can’t stand it anymore.

She takes her issue to a supervisor in Human Resources and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against the guy.

The supervisor is puzzled and asks, “What’s threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?”

“It’s Roger. The midget.”

December 16, 2020

Snow, I want to wash my hands, my face and hair with snow

 


We got an inch or two of snow over night. It is the first measurable snow this season and I'm giddy as a school girl. Not really. But it doesn't bother me. I like winter. I cleaned off the drive and sidewalks before the grandgirl arrived.  I'll probably have to do it again later.

Today is the oldest granddaughter's 6th birthday. We are going to her house for dinner and present opening this evening. It will be fun. She lost both front teeth in the past week or so. I sent her a video of the song All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth.  She thought it was hilarious.

She outsmarted me the other day (I know, it is not hard). We have had a long running "joke". She loves unicorns, like every little girl. I always insist a unicorn is really a raccoon and a raccoon is a unicorn. I don't know why, it is just my thing to tease her about. She gets indignant and we both enjoy the long-running joke.

Over the weekend I programmed the Alexa to respond with a description of a raccoon when it is asked "What does a unicorn look like?". When the granddaughter came over after school Monday I worked unicorns into the conversation. When she started to tell me I was wrong I asked the Alexa the programmed question. The granddaughter stared at the device for a moment, her face a puzzle. She looked at me, frowned. Then she asked Alexa what a raccoon looked like. Of course it answered correctly. "Ha!", she said "You made it say that, Paw". Caught red-handed, all I could do was laugh.

Maybe you had to be there. 

December 15, 2020

Church Lady

 A pastor explained to his congregation that the church was in need of some extra money, so he asked them to consider being more than generous. He offered that whoever gave the most would be able to pick three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed about the church, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had graciously offered a roll of $100 bills. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he’d like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.

A very quiet, elderly, saintly lady in the back of the church shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front, so she slowly she made her way towards him.

The pastor told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much, and in thanks he asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation. She pointed to the three most handsome men in the church and said, “I’ll take him and him and him.”

December 14, 2020

Pragmatic Prophesies

 Sorry 'bout that. It seems my ancient and decrepit iPad no longer works with blogger.  I had to fire up the almost as ancient and decrepit laptop to post anything. 

Anything.

I wasn't in the mood to move off the couch and trudge upstairs to blog from the laptop yesterday, so you got bupkiss. 

A decidedly cold wind is blowing outside on this mid-December afternoon. I think I will throw together a pot of chili for supper. Yep, It will have macaroni in it. Yes, it will be soupy. This is the Midwest, not Texas. No, it won't have cinnamon. That is for those losers in Cincinnati.

I had the opening shift at work this morning. I sure did not want to crawl out of be d when the alarm went of at 4:20 this morning. No, that is not a typo. The new schedule has me opening the entire week after Christmas, including New Years Eve and New Years Day.  Hooray for me.  Dont worry, I have plenty of time to whine about that in the coming days.

I hope you are having a good Monday.

December 11, 2020

Apple Muffins for Breakfast

The sunrise paints the sky in pinks and pale blues through the bare branches of the trees. It is cold. Not atypical for mid-December. It should warm up nicely this afternoon. 

Here we are on a Friday. Don’t worry, I’ll post some Christmas music. I know that’s why you stopped by. Ha! 

I thought it might be nice to offer a little content too. That is proving difficult.

For the most part I sit down and just start typing my posts. Most of the time what you get is stream of consciousness. “I know”, you say. It normally takes around ten minutes, tops, to compose an entry. “I can tell”, you say. Quit interrupting. Today, I’ve been at it twenty minutes and this is what we have. I know. 

I guess I could opine on politics. My heart isn’t in it. I’m sick of hearing about the Virus 24-7. You don’t want to hear me complain about my Not So Wonderful Life. It won’t do any good anyway. 

I guess the point is I have nothing to offer. Not that I ever did, but in the face of my current life it is just to hard to show up at the old blog. It just may be time to put it out of its misery. 

We shall see.

In the meantime, listen to the marvelous Judy Garland from the great Meet Me in St. Louis. 


“Next year all of our troubles will be out of sight”. Indeed and Amen.

Have a great Friday.

December 10, 2020

For the ladies

Why do men become smarter during lovemaking?

Because they are plugged into a genius.

Why don’t women blink during lovemaking?
They don’t have enough time.

Why does it take a million sperm to fertize one egg?
Because they don’t stop to ask directions.

Why did God give men larger brains than dogs?
So they don’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.

Why did God make men before women?
You always need a rough draft before you make the final copy.


December 9, 2020

I came, I saw, I lost

Rejected yet again by another potential employer. At this point I fear I will work retail the rest of my life. I have been out of meaningful work for 18 months.  I will be 59 in March. I think I have become unhireable. I can’t get factory work because I am “overqualified “. I can’t get entry level white collar work because employers fear I will leave for a better job when one becomes available. I can’t get what I normally do because Covid, age, and extended unemployment. I think potential hiring managers ask, “what have I missed that no one else will hire this guy?”.  I’m at a loss as the eroding economic situation at home starts to collapse like an avalanche. It was slowly crumbling for the past few months and is starting to really roll now. I expect everything to crash in a destructive loss of all in the next couple of months. 

Despite the above paragraph, I know I am blessed far above my deserving. I somehow am keeping a glimmer of faith that it is all going to work out. You didn’t come here to read about my problems. You have your own.

I’m off work today. There are a hundred projects that need done from changing the furnace filter to raking the soggy leaves to cutting some big branches that have fallen from the slowly dying big willow. And trying to figure a way to pay a pile of bills. That too.

I’m down today. Sorry to burden you with my problems. I have to unload somewhere and anonymously on the interwebz seems as good a place as any. 

December 6, 2020

Carolling out in the snow

We went with my daughter’s family to see a mighty lght show at the State Fairgrounds last night. It helped stir my latent holiday spirit. The oldest grandgirl enjoyed it immensely. The youngest found viewing from her car seat difficult and it was pushing her bedtime. I am thankful they included us in their family outing.

I have been putting in long hours at the old Big Box. Much work is being ignored at home. The backyard remains half-raked. The days I had off it rained, the clear days I worked. My next day off is Wednesday, perhaps I will get to it then. 

I will miss the local sports ball team play again today. I have the game taped, so please refrain from telling me the score if you see me.

A glance at the upper right of my old iPad tells me I have but 7% battery left. I guess I better wrap this worthless post. Have a great Sunday.



December 5, 2020

Sentences for a Saturday

I know. I have not forgotten you. I’ve been working every morning and when I get home I have...stuff. By the time the evening rolls around, I just don’t have the ambition to blog. Example: it is five aye em. I have to leave in five minutes for work. 

I’m not up at n the news, so reasoned political discourse is difficult. Besides, near as I can tell the only news is “pandemic “. 

Stay safe.

I don’t care if it’s politically correct or not. Dig the tune.



December 2, 2020

Something Ain’t Right

 According to my Beer-A-Day advent calendar it is two days until Christmas.

December 1, 2020

Hangin’ with the kid

We had a big non-snow event yesterday. It did snow, but it didn’t accumulate. The wind brought wind chills in the teens, and it remains similarly cold today. It’s December, I expect no less. It n other news, life continues apace. Too many bills and not enough bank. So it goes. 

Had my scheduled doctor checkup yesterday. A1C was 6.3. All other labs and tests were most excellent. My cholesterol was a nice 84. Weight was good. I got a shingles shot. My shoulder is a bit sore. That never happens to me.  A bit of achyness beats getting shingles again. Getting shingles was one of the more unpleasant experiences in my life. 

I had a second interview a couple of weeks ago.  I thought it went really well. I guess not. I just got the old “thanks for your interest” email this afternoon. @#$@#$&. I’m getting used to those. Unfortunately.

There, you are caught up on the boring part of my life I choose to share. Have a great day.
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