October 17, 2019

Wolverines!

In light of yesterday's frivolous efforts, I thought it might be amusing to toss up some video of the concentration camp scene from the classic movie Red Dawn. In case you don't remember, the plot of the movie involved evil commie bastards trying to take over America. Those folks who wouldn't toe the line were, in typical commie fashion, tossed behind fences and subjected to "re-education. Those who objected or refused to acquiesce were shot.

In the film Patrick Swayzee and Charlie Sheen and a couple of others grabbed their guns and like any good 'Mericans, waged a guerrilla war against the Elizabeth Warrens Commies. They were able to that because Beto hadn't seized their weapons yet. Along the way Swayzee danced the rumba and refused to put Baby in the corner all while keeping the rowdy socialists under control at the local bar since "pain don't hurt". His driving motivation was to avenge his Daddy who was murdered in the concentration camp. Spoiler: after Swayzee is killed he gets to come back as a ghost and fondle Demi Moore. And he defeats the damned communists. Win, Win.

Back to my point. I was stumbling around YouTube looking for the concentration camp scene in question. It may exist, but I couldn't get past the unbelievable number of videos claiming FEMA has already set up concentration and re-education camps under the auspices of the Obama Administration. I may put on a tinfoil hat every now and then as a joke. That is batshit crazy stuff.

Obama was never going to throw dissenters into re-education camps.

That was Hillary's job after she was elected.

October 16, 2019

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Chilly morning greetings, Blogoteers.

I had a great topic to discuss today. The post was half-written in my head by late yesterday evening. I decided not go there. The controversy and wave of comments the post would have engendered just wasn't worth it.

Yeah, I forgot whatever it was I was going to write about.

The grandgirls are home the balance of he week as the schools are on fall break. That means the wife is sleeping in as I hunt and peck on the barely-functioning iPad first generation I use for blogging.

The Democrat front runners reaffirmed they want to put the Government in control of every facet of your life and the economy and give you all you desire free of charge. It will come at the cost of your freedom, that is for sure, but don't be fooled, it will hit your wallet too.  Remember how Obama promised his signature healthcare measure would not only give you better insurance, but put a couple of grand into your family budget? How did that work out? Nearly everyone I know ended up with more expensive healthcare and high deductibles.

The only way to keep from taxing the middle class is to declare anyone making more than about $30K as "rich".

The good news is with the Feds in charge of healthcare we can count on long waits, worse care, unreasonable bureaucracy, and regulation; all offered up with lower take home pay. I can't wait to sign up. [sarc].

Listening to the candidates it is clear 1984 will be fully realized by 2024 if they get their way. Heck Beto will not only take your gun, he will force churches, mosques, and synagogues to toe the LGBQT line or else. And if you think he is going to tolerate  you saying, or even thinking, it might be questionable to allow a ten year-old to have a sex change operation, well get set to spend a little time updating the education section on your resume. Re-education is just another word for nothing left to lose.

I've the time. I always liked camping. I firmly believe education is a life-long process. I bet re-education camp is in my future.

Do you think it will be like the summer camp of my youth? I enjoyed the canoeing, hiking, knot tying, building fire by friction sets, pissing on trees. Camp Gulag; start packing today!

October 15, 2019

Temper Tantrum Tuesday

We moseyed down to the mall after supper last night. The baby grandgirl is getting baptized Sunday and the wife needs something suitable to wear.

Boy was I disgusted to see Macy's all decked out in Christmas decorations. It is not even Halloween! Has the entire fourth quarter become Christmas shopping season?

Since I'm all disgusted anyway, I will direct some of my ire towards LaBron James. Poor LaBron. A tweet from an NBA executive supporting the Hong Kong protesters angered the ChiComs. James has discovered he might lose some money on shoe sales or on his remake of the Space Jam movie. So, in a flurry of self-interest, James has castigated the pro-Hong Kong tweeter.

Of course LaBron has no problem trashing here at home. He was supportive of Kaepernick's protesting of America. James routinely criticizes the President. I guess for LaBron, free speech is great right up to the point it hits his wallet.

Spit.

October 14, 2019

Go Crack Corn

I don't care what anyone says, today is Columbus Day, even if you live in Indigenous People, Ohio.

Do we still have white sales on Indigenous People Day? Wouldn't it be ironic?

I know, this non-PC rasciiiist post will get me an additional few months in the culture war concentration camps.

October 13, 2019

I find the study of metal fasteners riveting

It is a chilly 39 outside. Inside it is still chilly at 64. I am resisting turning on the furnace. I suspect the wife will turn it on this evening anyway. She thinks she is in equal control around here.

It is not a 50/50 power share.

She probably is in more control because I want to make her happy. Except for the TV. I generally control it.

The local professional football squad is off today. We are heading off for a get-together of the wife's family. It will be nice. I generally like my wife's kin, now that the one blow-hard jerk of a brother-in-law has been divorced and banished. We rarely see her family outside of Thanksgiving and Christmas. I don't see my family enough either.

When discussing stuff that leaves me confused yesterday, I neglected to comment on the parents suing a video game manufacturer because their sons, 10 and 14 have become addicted to video games. Have these parents never heard of telling the kids "no" long before addiction set in? I don't think Fortnight is like meth, where you can get hooked after the first hit. Unplug the machine. Throw it away. Give the little boogers a book. You are the parents, act like it.

I'm off to get the ingredients for a dessert to take.

You are off to find something more entertaining. Boy, I sure hope you are anyway.

Have a great Sunday.

October 12, 2019

Answering the bell 6,500 times

I'm still breathing, alive, and well. I haven't posted much this week due to a lack of stuff to say.

Hard to believe, ain't it? I guess I've run out of nonsense filler material after 6,500 posts. Yes, readers this is post 6,500. Even if my efforts have been sporadic of late, that is still averaging more than 30 a month, provided my history math is correct. No wonder I am running out of entertaining material.

Like much of the country, fall has arrived in full force and with speed. Temperatures dropped about 30 degrees in a few hours as wind whipped a cold rain yesterday evening. Highs will be in the fifties today.

As far as I know we have no plans for today. We are watching the grandgirls for a bit this evening. Tomorrow we are off to a gathering of the wife's family. We will have to make some food for that.

There is nothing new on the job front. Lots of applications, little to no response. One prospect looks promising but it is still weeks away. I've applied for factory work and warehouse positions. They look at my resume and say "Nope" either because I'm 57 or they know I will leave when something better comes along. I think the "57" thing is my biggest problem landing a job. I'm not sure what to do about it.

Enough on that. You didn't come here to read my gripes. I hope not anyway.

I'm watching the NBA do flips and turns to stay in the ChiComs good graces without exposing their rank hypocrisy to the locals here in the States.

I read with incredulity an article this morning where an elementary school kid in Kansas has been charged with felonies for pointing a finger gun at fellow students. Ponder on that. Fingers. Felony.

Some people claim they are woke, but it sure seems they are more comfortable cowering in bed with the blankets over their head.

I guess it is just not only the job market where my age has put me out of step. I don't get society and culture any more either.

October 8, 2019

Stuck up women

A man rushes home and from the door bellows “Guess what I heard in the bar today?”

The wife smiles and replies “Some new gossip from your buddies?”

The man nods excitedly and says “They said the milkman has slept with every woman on our block except one.” Here he gives his wife a proud smile.

The wife frowns, thinks about it for a moment and replies, “I’ll bet it’s that stuck-up Phyllis in No. 23. She hates blue collar workers.”

October 7, 2019

Cornbread and coffee for breakfast

The littlest one is sleeping fitfully in the baby swing. Sunlight filters through the family room window shades. The wife is upstairs taking a shower. The older granddaughter is at preschool. I'm typing away on my old iPad as the baby murmurs little whimpers in her sleep. Another Monday morning is upon us. 

I'm fighting sleep myself. The room is silent except for the noises from the sleeping 5 month-old and the faint roar of the shower in the distance. I stayed up too late watching the local football team grind out an upset victory. I slept as usual - like a baby; thrashing and whimpering and waking up every three hours. Just as I do every night. 

I wish I had more to report. I am endeavoring to persevere.

Go forth and toil. Happy Monday.

October 6, 2019

Over by the courthouse they are starting to unwind

Hippy music from the 1960s is playing as I peruse the interwebz this morning.  The sky is cloudy outside the blog room window. We might actually get some much-needed rain today.

I read this morning that drummer Ginger Baker has passed away. If you have never seen the movie "Beware of Mr. Baker" you should try and find it on your favorite streaming service.  If you don't know who Ginger Baker was...you need to get some additional education in classic rock.

The wife and I ventured up over to Noblesville for a little festival centered on the covered bridge over the White River. It was a beautiful day to walk around. We bought a bag of kettle corn fresh from the massive popper.  Is it strange that after more than 40 years since our first date I still enjoy hanging out with my wife? I hate what our current economic situation is doing to her. All I ever wanted was to give her a good and happy life.

It has been revealed I will climb into the attic today to fetch the fall/Halloween decorations. To further emphasize the fall vibe, the missus has asked for a pot of my world famous in my mind chili for dinner before we settle in to watch the Colts likely fall to the evil Chiefs in the Sunday Night NFL contest.

That may be the longest and most poorly constructed sentence I have ever composed.

There you have it, another soporific fun-filled and action packed episode at the Hoosierboy Blog (i really hate that blog title). Enjoy your Sunday.


October 5, 2019

If you go chasing rabbits

It is probably unseemly to complain that I am cold this morning. A couple of days ago I was sweating  like I just emerged from a sauna while posting from this very recliner. I'm not really complaining. I like the cool nights and mild days of fall. One of the joys of living in the Midwest is getting four full seasons. Over the years fall has become my favorite. Currently, the long lingering summer means the leaves are still a vibrant green, but things will change fast as seasonable weather finally arrives. In fact, the sugar maple out back is starting to drop a few leaves.

I am going to have to buy a new rake this year. I bought my current rake in 1986 after we purchased our first house. I bought it at Big Lots. I probably paid two or three bucks for it. It was low quality even then -- I had to nail the head to the handle soon after I bought it. The nail is still there, but now the rake is missing almost half of its cheap metal tines. I guess I got a good return on my investment.

As far as I know we have no plans for the weekend outside of a soccer game this morning. That doesn't mean we will sit around watching old movies and popping peanuts in our mouth. It is more likely I don't have the need to know until time to plop my butt into tne red Escape and driving us where directed.

Here is a song that reminds me of fall by a band you likely never heard of. These guys were the headliners at the first "concert" I ever saw and played a lot of the dances at my high school and in area bars back in the days a band could make a living (before DJs ruined everything).





October 4, 2019

Major Matt Mason reporting for duty

Wow, we just went from 90 to 55 like we just saw a State Trooper.

I stole that. It doesn't make it any less humorous.

It's Friday,  Woot. Not that it matters. But you might care. I doubt you need my calendar reminder though.

Democrats have finally admitted the truth when a Texas Democrat Congressman told MSNBC that he's afraid that if they don't impeach Trump he will get re-elected. High crimes indeed.

Stinking Cardinals.

Strange, The Democrats were all for getting to the bottom of Election interference until Trump started asking for help from places who just might have been involved in the nefarious deeds -- helping Democrats. Then a Muelleresque inquiry becomes an "impeachable offense".

So much for No Politics Friday

The oldest Grandgirl has her last soccer game tomorrow. I don't think she is destined to be on the 2035 World Cup team. I don't think soccer is her sport. As long as she has fun.

Have a great day.

October 3, 2019

Pithy Perspectives

I cannot find it today*, but earlier in the week I saw a list of the 50 most miserable places to live. Gary, Indiana topped the list. If you have ever driven through that blighted urban landscape you would likely agree with the "miserable" assessment.

What struck me reading the list was the one thing almost every municipality had in common.

Can you guess?

Nearly every single place on the list has been controlled for decades by Democrats.

It is probably a coincidence.


* I didn't try too hard to find it. Look it up if you don't believe me. research is good for you.

Fine, here you go

October 2, 2019

Humpity hump

I'm sitting here sweating out some serious global warmitude. The wife took the grandgirls over to their house to play in the air conditioning.  We have spent the past two nights over there while central Indiana sets some new high temperature records. I came home this morning to make some calls and do some job searching. Because I'm nice like that, I thought I'd throw up a blog post for your enjoyment, or not, whatever.

I finished the Ken Burns Country Music documentary Sunday. I was shocked to discover just how many country songs I knew, and even more surprising -- liked. I guess all of those Saturdays of my youth when Hee Haw was tuned in on the TV stuck to me more than I thought. Weirder, I have been listening to classic country on my Echo spy machine and somehow I can identify the singer in many cases. What is up with that?

In other news, hearsay, innuendo, and gossip dominates politics.

I think a bunch of Democrat Congresscritters held me down and cut off my hair. Impeach them all.

You heard it here 19th, Hillary is gonna run again. This whole Ukraine thing is going to sink Biden. Bernie just had heart problems. Fauxcahontas is too far left. The rest have no chance. Hillary thinks the third time will be a charm. Plus she is tired of slurping tears with her Chardonnay. From her perspective, and to many Democrats, she isn't any more corrupt than The Trumpster.

October 1, 2019

At the Creation

On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”
The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?” God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”
The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”
The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?”
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created the man and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”
But the man said, “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”
“Okay,” said God. “You asked for it.”

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

September 29, 2019

My feets are tired

Happy Sunday. It was a bit warm last night but not miserably so. For those of you that haven't stopped by for a while, my AC broke a couple of weeks ago.

We met some friends up at a fall festival yesterday. It was held in a small town about 20 miles away. There was lots of flea market stuff, crafts, music, and food. The carnival trucks were in full force. Elephant ears, pork on a stick, Italian sausage, lemon shake ups, kettle corn, and cotton candy were in abundance.

It was hot, around 90, with 100% humidity, so to accompany the smells of fried stuff was a underlying sense of sweat. I could not understand the people wearing sweatshirts, unless they misunderstood the concept. Those who brought their dogs should be forced to wear a fur coat and walk barefoot on the pavement.

In all we had a good time.

September 28, 2019

Everybody Wants Some

Deep fried sugar cream pie
A bite is missing . I couldn’t wait until after I took a picture to dig in.

I know most of you have never heard of sugar cream pie. It is a Hoosier thing. Kinda like breaded tenderloins.

More details of my field trip later

Hot with a 30% chance of sarcasm

Happy Saturday. It looks to be a hot one with even warmer days --possibly record setting -- coming early next week. Oh noes, Global Warming! We're all gonna die. We may have to schlep a few miles down theroad to sleep in my daughter's air conditioning.

Looking out my blog room window in the early morning light I notice the neighbor's maple is turning to a greenish yellow on the topmost branches. Fall is here, my friends, the thermometer notwithstanding.

As for political news, no matter what you think of the President, are we really gonna throw him out based on a complaint that is no more than second-hand gossip and innuendo not even worthy of a high school girls backbiting? Seriously, can we at least hear from someone who was actually there for the phone call?

We are off to wander around at a small town fall festival today. Food truck food and high carb junk are on tap,. My heart is set on some deep-fried sugar cream pie, diabetes be damned. 

Have a great day.

September 27, 2019

True love


Choosing a wife 

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among
three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up
very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent
all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.


The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for
their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.


This is a rerun from 2005

September 26, 2019

That is a long time to let something fester

A couple of days ago I got a comment on a post from August of 2005. This was not a spam comment, but a real "you are wrong and here is why" comment to a political post.

I would hope that if it took me 14 YEARS to compose a comment, it would be at least a little polished. Seriously, 169 months is a long time to let something bother you. I guess you were tied up with that opinion piece on the Gulf of Tonkin Incident.

Yes, I published it. No, I did not offer rebuttal.

September 25, 2019

Only hot buttered popcorn could make it better

So the rabid lefties who could not accept the fact they lost the last election are going to try and impeach Trump for something, but trust them, it is egregious. Worst thing ever by a President. Nothing like actually using the IRS to target political enemies mind you. Way way way worser. They haven't seen the complaint offered up by a partisan "whistleblower" ( leaker if the President was Democrat), nor have they seen a transcript of the call to the Ukranian President, but they know it is grounds to throw the Trumpster out of the White House with a resounding and satisfying "You're Fired".

Trust me, reporters who are not nearly as clever as they think already have that very headline written.

What the never Trumpers don't get is that the root of the scandal involves the Democrat front-runner; the one guy who polls indicate could actually win. Do the impeachers really think the whole nepotism strong-arm tactics Joe bragged about while veep to get his son some serious foreign cash won't come out? 

How do you think the union guy is going to react to Biden using government power to get an alleged coke-head $55K a month compared to the guy trying to get the dirt about it? Which is more disgusting? 

Go ahead, eat your own. 

I'll have popcorn.

September 23, 2019

Too Blue To Fly

It must have been in 2003 or maybe 2004 when I won a couple of free songs on a soda pop cap to download songs from something called iTunes. I bought "For what it is worth" because it is one of the few songs I know all of the words and I sang it often to my youngest boy. The other was Hank Williams' "I'm so lonesome I could cry". The latter is one of the saddest, simple, and haunting tunes ever written. Ever. In any genre.

Despite the opening paragraph, I am not a devotee of country music. I am stuck deep in the classic rock rut, and I don't think that will change. I do wander over to the country station on occasion to skip radio commercials, but outside of select songs that is about it in my music collection.

I have been watching the new Ken Burns documentary on country music. Like most of his work it is solid history. Perhaps a little too much emphasis on African Americans, but Burns often does that. It does not distract from the narrative, nor does it mean the history isn't accurate. I am really enjoying this series.

I watched a couple more recorded episodes yesterday morning. Hank's tragic death and miraculous career was covered in the 3rd episode. I knew, but didn't remember, that Hank was but 29 when he died in the backseat of his Caddy on the way to a show. Like so many of the true musical geniuses, he burned hot and fast, flaming out early.

Anyway, Hank's tune is playing on an endless loop in my brain right now. I don't think that is a bad thing.

September 22, 2019

Wake up Maggie

I'm up in the blog room/office. The windows are open and the ceiling fan is spinning away. Crickets are chirping outside. The distant tree frogs offer a pleasant counter melody. A few lingering cicadas provide a steady backbeat to the nighttime song. In an hour or so the birds will add their good morning chorus.

The wife is asleep on the couch in the family room, the ceiling fan is offering some relief from the heat of the lingering summer. The master bedroom has no fan on the cathedral ceiling. Since the family room opens directly on the open concept kitchen, I thought it best to let her sleep instead of making my morning cuppa Joe. Forgive my incoherent narrative, I'm operating without caffeine so she can sleep. At least for a while. Ain't I a swell guy?

In sports news, the Cubs $20+ million dollar closer has been offering up balls over the fence like a pitcher at the home run derby. He gave up 2 dingers on 2 straight pitches to allow the evil Cards to take a one run lead in the ninth. The Northsiders could not answer and lost yet another game. Time is running out in the season. That is 5 straight loses.

Sorry about the poor me post yesterday. Some days the crushing weight of the situation becomes too much. I appreciate your kind words. 'Nuff said about that.

Have a great Sunday.

September 21, 2019

A Saturday Pity Party

The 1969 Miracle Mets only came to being after a monumental end of season collapse by the Chicago Cubs.

Today's Cubs have been celebrating the Hall of Famer loaded '69 squad's 50th Anniversary. Does that mean the current Cubs have to emulate the end of season collapse as well? They are certainly doing a great impression.

In other news the run of bad luck here at the homestead continues as the air conditioner crapped out yesterday afternoon. The compressor runs but the fan on the outside unit is not working. I suppose it is the motor? I don't know, I have no HVAC training. The unit is 20 years old, so I should not be surprised. We can live without AC. It will suck with temperatures slated to push 90 this weekend. The rain forecasted for Sunday means windows might have to be shut.

The past five years have sucked like a sump pump. Outside of the birth of my 2 granddaughters there hasn't been much to look at as a high point.

2014 company sold lost my job
Got a new job at a pay cut
2016 learned I was going blind. Five surgeries later I can see (plus/minus)
2017 lost another job as mismanagement ruined the company
Got another job at a pay cut
2017 my grandson died
2018 My mother died
2019 lost my job yet again when the company lost 2 major customers

We are suposed to hang with friends today. I will paint a fake smile on my face and give every outward indication that I'm having fun.  Who knows, maybe I will actually enjoy myself.

Yeah, I know others have had it far worse and I am truly blessed. I have a lot to be thankful for.

Don't worry. By Monday I will shed the poor me attitude and face the new week with determination. It will be sweaty determination to be sure, but you know what I mean.

September 20, 2019

Easy scalloped potatoes

Bleeping Cubs.

I know. I need to lower my expectations. Chicago gave me the one Series win I deserve in my lifetime. I can complain in another 105 years or so.

New subject.

It is either reassuring or disconcerting to know the snarky and snide aspect of personality is alive and well. I have tried to temper it around here, but it came out in full force yesterday in correspondence. I only partially regret my acerbic comments, which proves I'm still a self-righteous jerk deep down.

Gotta keep working on that.

New Subject.

It looks to be a beautiful weekend, hot and muggy to end summer officially. We have been invited to a pool party. It has been a lousy week. I could use a distraction.

New subject.

I had a couple of interviews for a position earlier in be month and ultimately was told the company chose a different candidate. So it goes. Until I saw the same job opening newly listed yesterday. WTH?  And no, this is not where I exhibited my own brand of sarcastic commentary referenced above.

New subject.

No politics today.

You are welcome.

Have a great Friday.

September 19, 2019

A conversation with liberal me

Yeah, I am still alive. I have weather. The media is still no more reliable than Pravda. The Democrat Party leadership still tells us "We like America, let's change everything about it".  Anyway I hope you are having a good morning.

Don't wish me good morning. My morning hasn't been good and your salutation makes me uncomfortable and just reinforces your morning privilege. Besides, not everyone is celebrating morning at the same time. It is evening in China and you are insensitive to those in other time zones.

Boy, being a SJW snowflake is exhausting.

Don't call me a snowflake. Do you know there are people in Equatorial Africa who have never seen snow? Besides snow is associated with people in Northern latitudes and hey mostly have white skin...

Geez

Geez is a substitute for "Jesus". Don't force your religion on me.

Don't get all hot and bothered

How can I not get hot with the anthropomorphic climate change endangering every life on the planet, specifically targeting people of color.

Just forget it, this isn't working

We agree, the only work done since America's founding in 1619 was accomplished by slaves. You did not build that, African ancestors did under systematic bondage reinforced by whips, chains, and patriarchal rape.

I just want to shoot myself

Exactly! That is why we need to ban these scary , military assault machine guns and rocket launchers anyone can buy off the street, even if they have a history of mass murder and armed robbery.

What?

Fox News! NRA! Trump! Bush! Racist!

I give up

September 17, 2019

Come to Mamma

Yeah I took it

Never gets old

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver’s license?
Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?
Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Who’s car is this?
Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove-box, and that there was a body in the trunk?
Driver: Yeah, and I’ll bet the big liar told you I was speeding too!

A proposal

Does anyone think the Democrats will stop their attempts at disarming law-abiding Americans if we agreed on a "buy back" of  one or two models (I would never agree, but play along just for the sake of argument)?

First off how can one " buy back" something they never sold? Who sets the price? The more guns are purchased and taken out of circulation, the more scarce they become, thus the higher the price. 

Since rifles make up a fraction of gun crimes and murders, you can bet handguns will be next on the list. 

Not that I would ever agree, but what gun-grabber liberal will pledge that if I give up my "assault rifle", they will agree in a Constitutional Amendment no other firearms will ever be on a "buy back" or confiscation list. 

That is what I thought.

September 16, 2019

Still my favorite


...Cars song

RIP Rik

All the rock n rollers are dying off

September 15, 2019

Where is the band?

We had a great day with the grandgirls yesterday. We went to the venerable kids place Chuck E Cheese for some bad pizza and an afternoon of fun. The oldest girl had a blast. The baby did her baby thing, but was excellent. She loved watching the crowd. Since I last stepped foot in a Chuck E. Cheese about 20 years ago, I was a bit surprised to find the animatronic band has been discarded. I suppose a weaselly Yoko ingratiated herself on the purple gorilla and split up the group.

We went to the oldests' favorite restaurant (Spaghetti Factory) for dinner. The youngest wouldn't tell us her choice, opting for a dinner of formula instead. The girls then spent the night. As an added bonus the baby slept through the night!

Why would you care about any of this? I have no idea. I have wondered why anyone stops by for a very long time now.

Have a great Sunday.

September 14, 2019

A post that starts off boring and gets worse from there

I haven't posted much this week. My son was here for a few days and it was great to see him. He arrived safely back in Colorado late yesterday afternoon.

He and one of his roommates left Monday for the drive to Indiana, arriving sometime in the wee hours. We left the  front door unlocked, the alarm off, and our bedroom door open, figuring we would hear him when he came in. Nope, I woke at 5:30 Tuesday morning to find his car parked in front and the doors to the two spare bedrooms closed.

Come on in cat burglars, we will sleep right through it. Sheesh.

Now I know why I have locks, alarms and cameras.

No good news on the job front, in fact it is bad news. The one hot lead has fizzled and there is nothing imminent on the horizon. We are getting by day to day, but the mortgage company won't wait forever. I have tried for factory jobs, but have been rejected as over-qualified. They say I will quit when something better comes along (yes). Part time retail pays less than unemployment and I cannot get full time because then they have to give me benefits -- thanks Obama. I might have to sell cars or insurance, Two things I swore I would never do.

Enough complaining.

Today is my beautiful daughter's xx birthday. We are going to watch the girls while they have a day on the town (after soccer). We are hoping they can sleep over. Other than that, we have no plans.

I tried to post some Friday music yesterday, but the selection wouldn't play. So it goes.

Have a great Saturday.

September 13, 2019

Dem Debate Analysis


Now on to the real stuff: the Democat clown car debates.

Don't care, didn't watch.

That won't keep me from summing the whole thing in a few words:

White people suck
Trump bad
Tax tax tax
Spend spend spend
The Earth is gonna kill us unless we pass universal basic income and drive electric cars
Guns very bad

But white people really really suck

Good luck grabbin' those guns Beto Francis.

September 11, 2019

Eleventh

If you need a reminder that a whole bunch of people hate you, me and everything the United States represents, look no further than this date.

If you actually need that reminder, I'm not sure what to say.

September 10, 2019

The Internet is a sadder place today

It is with great sadness that I learn of tne death of Dustbury -Charles Hill. Another of the great bloggers has left us.

Dustbury was blogging long before many of even heard of the Internet. He was prolific, funny, and talented.

I read him every day.

Rest in peace, Mr. Hill

September 9, 2019

Good Times

I last saw my oldest son almost a year ago at my Mother's funeral. I am almost as giddy as a schoolgirl at a Bieber concert at the notion he will be "home" tomorrow for a few days. All the kids will gather at my house for dinner tomorrow with their families.

It's gonna be a great few days.


September 8, 2019

Bringing back the China Clipper

Here we are on a Sunday morning. This is historically my chatty day here on the old blog. I don't know why I find it easier to write on the Sabbath. It is a mystery. The good news for you is you can click away whenever you want with a TLDR smirk. It is OK, I have no way of knowing.

Well, I do, but it is not worth the effort to see who bothers to wade through my extemporaneous typing. I'm just thankful you bother to stop by.

I did not watch the Democrat's "Here is how we destroy the economy" climate round table on TV the other night. Apparently no one outside of reporters did either. According to news sources, each panalist advocated ridding the country of about 90% of our energy producing capability -- coal, gas, fracking, and nuclear. That leaves wind and solar, both dependant on fickle nature. Boy, that sounds like a great idea. I always wanted to live in the Middle Ages, no pesky electricity to ruin my view of the stars.

All think we should be forced to drive electric cars. Do they understand electric cars need electricity to charge up? Do they realize sometimes people need to drive more than 300 miles and stopping for 8 hours or so to charge up might not be convenient? And how are we supposed to get there when airplanes are banned if we cannot fly? I suppose we will ride the non-existent  trains. Oh wait, they need fuel too.

On a more practical matter, how do these Luddites plan on cultivating fields and transporting goods with only battery power? The same people who decry Trump's Tariffs want to force us to transport our Chinese goods via, I don't know, sailboat I guess? It is time to bring back the venerable China Clipper. What? Sorry, it takes massive amounts of energy to manufacture goods and we will need all we can generate from wind and sun just to power our mandated electric cars. We will have to get our "stuff" from nations  not looking to commit economic suicide.

If you read the real deep accounts of the climate change summit, you will see it is not really about climate, it is about social and economic "justice". In fact, the phrase "climate justice" was bandied about like it was a real thing. I know that "justice" is code for forcibly taking money from one group and giving it to another. Somehow, we are to believe people of color and the poor will be screwed by catastrophic climate change more than white people. Funny, I never thought Mother Nature really cared about our skin color outside of burning white skin if we are out in the sun too long. Should we call sunburn "Black Privilege?

But then I mistakenly learned than skin color is like eye or hair color, just genetics. I must of had a crappy education.

I don't know, it seems to me that if you automatically assume whitey has an advantage and darker colored skin is a disadvantage you are echoing the trope pedaled by the John Calhouns of the antebellum South.

I prefer to think we are born equal and you have to fight and claw to make the most of life.

I'm screwed up like that.

September 7, 2019

A priest and a rabbi...

A Catholic priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train.
After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying “I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork…Have you actually ever tasted it?
The Rabbi said, “I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion.”
Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, “Your religion, too…I know you’re supposed to be celibate. But….”
The priest replied, “Yes, I know what you’re going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice.”

There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, “Better than pork, isn’t it?”

September 6, 2019

Truth is painful

Progressivism is, at bottom, just organized envy.  If anyone, anywhere, possesses X, then there can never be justice until everyone, everywhere, possesses X.  Rotten Chestnuts


I really have nothing to add.

September 5, 2019

Don’t tell me

A father asks his 10-year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees.

I don’t want to know! the child says, bursting into tears. Promise me you won’t tell me!

Confused, the father asks what’s wrong.
Oh, dad, the boy sobs. When I was six, I got the There’s no Santa speech. At seven, I got the There’s no Easter Bunny speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the There’s no tooth fairy speech. If you’re going to tell me that adults don’t really have sex, I’ll have nothing left to live for.

September 4, 2019

Continuation of a theme

Not only should the Democrats quit flying around, they should go all in on the proposals they have for us "normals".

I will actually respect the candidate that mantans he/she will limit the use of Air Force One. No more free rides for the media, no more multiple planes for a presidential trip. It is for the environment.

Since guns only incite violence, a Secret Service detail is not needed beyond a couple of unarmed bodyguards to physically ward off would-be bad apples. Thus we don't need an extra plane for all of the vehicles for security. As you say, no one needs the protection of a "military assault weapon". Those guns belong on a battlefield, not a ball field.

Do it for the children.

Ideas, I have them

Maybe if the Democrats are really so concerned about the environment, they should quit flying to Iowa and New Hampshire and driving cars all over the place. Run you campaign from your porch. It worked before.

September 3, 2019

The cleanest back yard in town

Here in suburbia you pay to have your trash hauled away. I throw my garbage, the baby's diapers, and general trash into a big bin with wheels and the company comes and tips the bins into a garbage truck with a big hydraulic arm. If it isn't in the bin, it does not get picked up.

For several weeks I have been slowly disposing of a 25 year old worn and broken patio set. A chair fits into the bin. So each week I toss in a ripped and worn out chair. That fire pit the previous owners left behind? It is gone. That broken umbrella stand? Yep tossed into the bin.

The table was next in line. I was putting it off. It was a long rectangular glass-topped affair that seated six.  The table was still in good shape, but who wants a patio table with two working chairs?That is how many remain that are not ripped or broken. I know the answer. No one wants a chairless table, even on Craigs List for free.

Yesterday I dragged the table from under the pear trees where I had it stashed for the past year or so. Dismantling it should have been easy, and it was, except for the screws I had to drill out, the braces climate welded together, and the general thirty-seven trips to the garage to get yet another tool that isn't right this time either.

I was finally down to one leg/brace combo. I could then remove the glass and bend up the table top frame. I thought I would break up the glass on a tarp and pour it into the bin. As I pulled the last leg out of the frame, the entire top exploded into shards of glass. The biggest pieces were the size of your littlest fingernail, the smallest were, well, smaller than that. Yes, I should have been working on top of the tarp all along.

So there it was, a million shards of glass in the yard exactly in the shape of the table there in the grass.  How do you clean up glass from your lawn? You put on heavy gloves and start picking it up. It took about ten minutes to clean a three inch square.  So, a 6x3 area will take...carry the one...way too long. I grab the shovel and start scooping. I grab the rake and start piling to make scooping easier. Lots of shards have settled down into the grass.

I look around. My yard is secluded. It is blocked on all sides by a 6 foot privacy fence. Trees block the view of both neighbors if they look from 2nd story windows. I grab the old Shop Vac from the garage and suck those little buggers from the yard.

Yes, I vacuumed my back yard. Sure I sucked up some dirt and grass. I probably got some insects too, but I got every tiny bit of glass I could find. Don't tell anybody I vacuumed my lawn. I worked, there is that.

Still, I don't think I will run around barefoot in that part of the yard.

September 2, 2019

Smokin' cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo

I'm late to the old blogeroo on this Labor Day holiday. The wife and I stayed up later than late doing some nekkid wrestling.

I wish

No, but we did stay up later than late catching up on last season's TV shows in time for the next to start. I went to bed at three and woke at 6:30. I turned over and went back to sleep until just short of 9:00. I think I last slept until 9 back in the 1980s.

Some yard work is on tap for today. I may fire up the smoker, but that means a trip to the store, like NOW, to get some appropriate meat. Maybe I'll smoke a cigar instead. Does that count? Ba-dooomp. Thank you very much, don't forget to tip your server.

The Cubs are touting  their 1969 team. Only the Cubs would find a reason to celebrate one of the biggest collapses in sports history. the Miracle Mets only existed because of the Northside choke job. This years' promising squad appears to be headed in the same direction. They spent the weekend scoring exactly as much as I did -- zero, zip, zilch. You can't win games if you do not score runs. Actually hitting the ball would be a good start.

Have a great Labor Day. I think it is nice we honor the pain of child birth. Our Moms are saints. Mine was anyway.

What?

Oh.  Unions?

Screw 'em. How about we call it the "Here comes Fall"  holiday instead?

September 1, 2019

The "Inside Baseball" of Blogging

The cursor keeps blinking an urgent "type something" in electronic morse code. I'm not purposely ignoring the command. There is no malfunction in the keyboard. My fingers are capable of typing. There are just no word signals from my brain to blog.

That is just way things go sometimes.

August 31, 2019

Easy Fruit Salad

Allergies are kicking my butt.

It is cloudy. I hope it clears Up, we are invited to a pool party.

The usual Saturday morning filler -- coffee. Music. Blah. Blah.

I have to get this blogging stuff out of the way, the season finale of Yellowstone is waiting for me on the DVR. If you are not watching that show, you should be.

Enjoy your Saturday...What?

You are joking, right?

Sigh.

This ain't difficult people. Apples, bananas, oranges, grapes, toss in some little marshmallows and nuts if you like. Pour a little OJ or sprite over it to keep stuff from turning brown. Cut the fruit into small pieces. Avoid the sharp edge of the knife with your fingers. Clean up your mess.

August 30, 2019

Time to make the Donuts

We find ourselves cruising this Friday into a long holiday weekend. It looks like we will have decent weather. Or not. It depends on which weather app/newscast you choose. It's a good thing the models don't agree 72 hours out, otherwise I might not believe what they predict 72 years from now.

I fried up some canned biscuit dough donuts this morning with the granddaughter. She made the holes and formed the donuts.  I manned the hot oil and sugar coating stations. We were a good team. She ate three of the finished goods!

I had a phone interview earlier in the week for a job that fits me well. I will learn if I move forward next week. If you care to, I could use a few prayers. This is about he only thing I have going. I'm getting very worried.

I'm not going to let life get in the way of living, though. My brain worries enough all night. I will try to use this time to enjoy my grandgirls and wife. Sulking in my office 10 hours a day does nothing positive.

Enjoy your Friday.

August 29, 2019

Custody Battle

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.
The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.
After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied…
“Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?”

August 28, 2019

The Fingerpointing State

I believe in personal responsibility. For me the bartender is not responsible for the drunk driver, the cigarette companies for the health of anyone who smoked after warnings appeared on packages, nor the Big Drug companies for the opioid epidemic. Jurist don't agree with me. So it goes.

The opioid thing is even more difficult for me to understand. The purchase of whiskey shots and cigs is an individual decision. Opioids require a prescription. You are not getting addicted without the aid of doctors and pharmacists. If you are purchasing illicit drugs to fuel your habit, that is not the fault of Johnson & Johnson. If you need to blame someone, why not go after the middlemen?

Here is a bonus question. Since Oklahoma (and other States suing Big Pharma) find opiates so terrible, what have they done to outlaw their use and sale in the state? Does the Oklahoma version of Medicade pay for those drugs still? Do physicians still legally prescribe these evil drugs?

August 27, 2019

Tail light

“How long have you been driving without a tail light?” asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist.

The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a long, painful groan.

He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit.
“Come on, now,” he said, “you don’t have to take it so hard. It isn’t that serious.”

“It isn’t?” cried the motorist. “Then you know what happened to my boat and trailer?”

August 26, 2019

Stormy Monday

My SIL brings the Grandgirls to the house each morning so the wife can babysit. Starting today he has to be at work earlier, so the girls will be here about 45 minutes earlier. Still, there is no reason for me to be up before five. So it goes.

Colts QB Andrew aluck called it quits Saturday. He was tired of the constant pain and rehab. Dude has enough money to last a lifetime, there is no reason to keep at a job you no longer love. Some blame Luck for leaving the team in the lurch. Not me, I blame Ryan Grigson, the former personnel man who failed to draft a quality offensive line to protect his franchise QB. So it goes. Life is more fun when your sports teams win, but it really doesn't matter.

In other news, there is none. It is raining, if you need a weather report from a place you do not live.

My reservoir of optimism is getting a little low.

August 25, 2019

Stuck in Lodi Again

I just flew in from Iowa and boy, are my arms tired.

Well, I did not fly, but boy, are my arms tired. And my shoulders. And my back. I helped a friend do some work yesterday. Most of the toil involved shoveling gravel and dirt.  A lot of both. My hands are sore, just short of blisters, and my body aches, albeit in a good way. 

It has been a long time since I spent a day shoveling gravel. I did a couple summers of it back in my school days when I worked for a roofing firm doing summer work on big flat industrial roofs. If I am honest, I didn't enjoy it when it was my job nearly four decades ago either. It is hard work. Since The Man wasn't paying for my efforts yesterday I took more breaks than I did back when Mr. Henshaw was writing me a weekly check.

Because my Buddy frequently invites us over to swim in his pool, I could at least help out when he needs a hand, but I would do it even if he didn't have nice stuff, that is what friends do.

I just wish his projects weren't such hard work.

August 24, 2019

Non-political Trope

It is a cool start to this sunny Saturday. Temps are in the fifties as I type. As usual when I hunt and peck on the ancient iPad keyboard, music is playing softly in the background.

We are off in a bit to watch the oldest Grandgirl play soccer. I mean "play soccer" in the loosest sense. Mostly it is running in the general direction of the pack. I will state that her coach is great. I know from experience it is not easy coaching a team of pre-schoolers. I plane flying over the fields last week almost brought play to a halt as they kids stopped to look skyward. I couldn't help but laugh.

Other than that, there is not much going on. I am pretty much caught up on my recorded movies and shows. I'm reading two books right now -- The Sicilian by Puzzo and Tim Dorsey's latest. I will likey finish both by the end of the weekend or early next week. I will have to head back to the library or scrounge a couple more free books for the Kindle. 

Have a great Saturday.

August 23, 2019

Viper Madness

Last night I was cleaning up the mess from supper. I loaded the dishwasher and started it. I reached under the sink to grab the dish soap to wash a couple of pans and my good knives. Imagine my surprise to find a snake curled on the bottom of the cabinet.

OK, it wasn't a snake. It was a puddle of water. I grabbed some towels and a flashlight. The garbage disposal was dripping from the bottom. The connections were dry, but water was dripping through every screw hole and motor vent. Luckily, replacing a disposal is a repair I can do myself. Sigh.

Things could be worse. Loyal reader PP's house collapsed. Scum stole her stuff while the city had it taped off. 

On the bright side it is Friday, like I care. Every day is Saturday these days. I've been turned down for factory and hourly jobs this week. One HR rep told me I would be a good worker but he knows I will quit as soon as I get trained when a better job comes along. He is right. 

Have a good Friday. 

August 22, 2019

I refuse to plead guilty

In the latest push to prove we are all racist,  the "media" including the NY Times and USAToday have started pushing the 1619 Project. The purpose is to highlight the arrival of the first slaves in what is now the US. The premise is that the nation was founded in the sin of slavery, built by slaves, and thus is an evil, racist, sinful Nation.

Let me get this out of he way, slavery was and is a horrible institution. Period. There are no "buts", "excepts", or defense for the buying and selling of humans. I refuse to bear the mantle of the modern White Man's Burden.

The whole premise behind the 1619 bandwagon is rooted in historical ignorance. Slavery has been
part of the human condition since Og came out of the cave and discovered he could force the smaller and weaker of his clan to do his work for him. Then he captured his neighbors and put them to work too.  And so it continued until about 170 years ago throughout the most of the world. I say most because slavery still exists in places. It is what the strong do to the weak.

As for the basis that slavery built this country, who was here to buy those first 50 Africans? BTW, most records indicate those Africans, who came by way of the West Indies, were treated as indentured servants, and freed after a period of time. A significant number of Europeans would arrive to the colonies as indentured servants.

It is rampant revisionism and fantasy to believe that European colonists did not settle and build what became America.  Slave holders were a minority, even in the antebellum South.

To maintain that the Founders were in total support of Slavery is fiction. One of the first major pieces of legislation was the formation of the Northwest Territory, which passed unanimously. One of the provisions of the ordinance was that slavery would be banned. The Northwest Ordinance language on slavery was the basis for the 13th Amendment.

Just a little research demonstrates one of the causes of the Civil War was the economic dominance of the industrial North over the agrarian-based Slave States. That very fact belies the entire notion that slavery "built" the United States.

That is not to say discrimination is not real now or in the past. It is.

To maintain that the country is flawed today because of slavery belies the hundreds of thousands who died and fought to end slavery. it ignores the millions who fought, who died, who are buried in unmarked graves to battle the wilderness and Mother Nature to carve a new life  on the New World.

If you want to argue a 1492 project and state that the land was taken from the aboriginal population, I could understand that position. It is at least based in bare historic fact.  Besides, the Natives were enslaved long before any Africans were brought over. Why are they ignored?

But hey, the Leftists can't run on their political positions, so they have gin up a phony race war.

* it would take entire volumes to go into the historical details of the founding. Settlers were in parts of what is now the US more than 200 years before the Declaration of Independence was signed.

August 21, 2019

Mr. Amundsen, I presume

Here is a pic I took on a recent trip to Antarctica:

picture by the author

OK, It was in the south, perhaps not the Unknown Continent.

Lighten up, Francis,, it was south to me. I took this picture at the Indianapolis Zoo a few weeks ago when we took the Grandgirls there one afternoon.

August 20, 2019

I cannot wait

I lost my job on July 9. I filed for unemployment and for Medicaid that same day. It is now August 20. I am still waiting on the health insurance coverage the Government insists by law I must have. I paid the $10 to "fast track" my application. 

I called the State today to check on the status. I was told FSSA was waiting on documents from me.

Me: "I sent them in July"

Her: "We received them August 7th".

Me: "I guess you are not waiting on documents after all"

Her: [snippy] "We process everything in the order it comes in"

Me: " I know yOu only work there and do not process the paperwork, but don't you think that is ridiculous to take that long?"

Her: [really snippy] "We process thousands of applications, it can take 45 days".

Me: "I'm diabetic I'm out of medicine Monday, what am I supposed to do?"

Her: "We have other programs that might be able to help you"

Me:"Won't that require an application too that goes through the processing center?"

Her: [tired of me] "You will just have to go to the hospital or pay out of pocket. Thanks for calling FSSA".

Me: [unsaid] I can't go to the hospital I don't have insurance because I'm waiting on you to process an application from July 9th. And if I had the money, you dolt, I wouldn't be applying for the crappy Healthy Indiana Plan.

I can't wait until the Democrats consign us all to Government-run health plans. [sarcasm].

August 19, 2019

Casino winnings

A man spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas casinos, and he won $100,000. He didn’t want anyone to know about it, so when he came back home, he immediately went out to the backyard of his house, dug a hole and planted the money in it.
The next morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole. He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door, which was owned by a deaf-mute. On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man. Grabbing his pistol, the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man’s house. He screamed at the professor:
“You tell this guy that if he doesn’t give me back my money I’ll kill him!”
The professor conveyed the message to his friend, and his friend replied in sign language: “I hid it in my backyard, underneath the cherry tree.”
The professor turned to the man with the gun and said: “He’s not going to tell you. He said he’d rather die first.”

August 18, 2019

I need more coffee

Thunder boomers rolled through in the night. Power was knocked out for a bit. One bolt of lightning snapped close by and I think a transformer was hit. An electric one on a telephone pole, not from the movies.

Some friends came over last evening. Cards and too many sugary snacks were the entertainment for the evening.

Yes, my life really is as boring as this blog makes it sound.

August 16, 2019

Road Rage on Memory Lane

Another wasted week is inching closer to the dustbin of history. The Cubs choked like a fat guy at a taco eating contest.* Preseason football moves forward, boring everyone with bad product and soporific play.

The weather is typical late summer fare.

Politics. I ain't going there on this Friday.

I made a coffee cake for breakfast. That was good.

The Grandgirl has her first soccer game tomorrow. I'll go out this afternoon and practice with her. She cannot stop bending and grabbing the ball to keep it from me. It cracks me up every time. See, even four year olds understand Eurosport is dumb. You have hands, use them.

As far as I know we have no plans for the weekend. At some point I need to trim the weeds that make up the yard.

The wife found a coupon from the cruise line for a free photo book. I started putting together a spread of pictures from our cruise earlier this year last night. Come on over and I'll show the pictures when the book goes printed and shipped. There is nothing more entertaining than looking at someone else's vacation photos. **

That experience is worse than preseason football and almost as bad as watching soccer.

Have a great Friday.

*Too soon?
**Sarcasm

August 15, 2019

Toxic masculinity and all of that

Apparently I resorted to jokes when I had no other content in the early days of this time waster. Here is one from August of '05:

A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars?

"Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.

"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again.

"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.

The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?"

"Nah", he replies. "Costs too much to bite them..............."

August 14, 2019

Dear Democrats

Keep it up.

Continue telling half the country they are racist hate-filled white Supremicists just because they disagree with you politically and or economically.

Keep on that path

You will get even more Trump.

When you tell us there is no middle ground, we must toe the line or else, there is just enough perversion in the American, especially Southern and Midwestern culture, to say "we will take 'what else' for $1,000, Alex".

Keep it up.

August 13, 2019

My new favorite

A blind man was describing his favorite sport – parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him.
“I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go.”
“But how do you know when you are going to land?” he was asked.
“Well, I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground”, he answered.
“But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?” he was again asked.
He quickly answered, “Oh that? The dog’s leash goes slack!”

Ripped from the headlines

I think it smells a bit fishy

https://www.foxnews.com/health/vaginal-steaming-second-degree-burn-woman

August 12, 2019

By the time I got to Woodstock

I watched a PBS documentary yesterday about tne legendary Woodstock concert. I was seven when tne concert took place, so I have no memory of it. I have seen the movie several times ( I own a DVD copy). I dig the music.

It might have been three days of peace love and music, but the old man in me views it differently than I did at 17. Typical Lefties, the hippies showed up expecting free stuff. They crashed the gates and trampled the fences. Most did not bother with tickets. Finally, no other alternative available the promoters gave up trying to collect tickets. The promoters lost everything financially.

The kids showed up without food or in many cases money to purchase food. They came without shelter.

Worse, the attendees left behind tons of garbage and refuse.

Over the years, estimated attendance has ballooned from 300,000 to pushing 500,00 by some estimates. Like a Trump Inaugaration, people's memory seems to inflate the crowd size.

By the time Hendrix was butchering the National Anthem Monday morning, the crowd had shrunk to tens of thousands instead of hundreds of thousands.

Some of the hippie stuff cracks me up. Shouting "no more rain" was pointless. Did anyone really believe Mother Nature cared she was inconveniencing a bunch of stinky hippies?  Please don't eat the brown acid, indeed.

August 11, 2019

Mystery solved

Remember that scene in the movie Shane where the gunfighter grabs an axe and helps Joe tear out an old stump? My Saturday was just like that, except Alan Ladd didn't help me. I cleared out an old stump single-handed. I did it the old fashioned way, with maul and axe and wedge. Sure, I know there are stump grinders out there but they take money. My back and sweat are free. The stump from the ash in my side yard that was destroyed by bugs is gone. The spot is filled, leveled, and grass seed is planted. 

Before I went into the one -time only stump removal business I washed the wife's SUV. I watered the flowers. I picked weeds from the garden. 

Later in the afternoon I moved some furniture for the wife, including a dresser and big computer armoir. 

I can't figure out why my back and shoulders are sore this morning. 

August 9, 2019

Friday Fish Fry

It is Friday. Too bad it isn't payday. One of those isn't coming soon. I do have some good prospects in the works. I have a tentative offer, but at more than 30% below the wages I have earned in recent years. In fact, the rate is akin to what I was making back in the 1990s. It beats unemployment, but I cannot live long-term on it. After my bills there will be nothing left for stuff like...food. Since the job will require travel, a second job is hard to find to supplement my income. Boo hoo for me, I know. The other positions are not at quite the offer stage, but the salary is higher. Too bad I am most qualified for the low-paying job. I am sure they are low-balling me because they know I need a job.

Here is a post that explains the whole gun control debate clearly and succinctly. You should read it. Really. Go read it. Especially you anonymous commenters of the liberal bent.

As far as I know we have no weekend plans. Beginning next week the granddaughter starts soccer. There is nothing funnier than watching four-year-olds trying to do sports. It is like watching clowns herd cats. I have been out practicing with her in the backyard. I am not sure if she likes kicking the ball, but I know she digs her black and pink cleats.

Since I have some time on my hands, I have been looking for entertainment. Nothing on my Kindle has grabbed my attention for the past week or so, but one series on TV has. Yellowstone has become my new favorite show. I spent last weekend catching up on Season 1 and am now caught up on Season 2. The show is set on a modern cattle ranch and can best be described as Dynasty and Dallas meet the Godfather -- with horses. The whole cast is filled with characters you love to hate, starting with Kevin Costner who is great as the patriarch.

I see you have developed that glazed eye look I have come to recognize from my wife when I am telling her a particularly interesting historical fact or sports trivia. She looks at me until I'm done talking. She refrains, from love and politeness, from telling me she does not care. But I know that to her I sound just like a Charlie Brown teacher when I go to the interesting tidbit spiel:

"Did you know, Napolean....whaaa, whaaaaa, whaa, wha, whaaaa...100 days."

You can relate, am I right?

Have a great Friday.

August 8, 2019

And You Were There

It was hot in the Mess Hall on August 9, 1974 at Ransburg Boy Scout Reservation. The wooden screen door slammed as teens and adults filed in, mostly somber.

I was not completely sure of what was going on, but my budding love of history alerted me to the significance. The President of the United States was about to resign. The little TV (16 inch?) sat on a cart near the serving line. The volume was turned high. The black and white picture was snowy. The Camp Director messed with the rabbit ears.

In the Watergate scandal real crimes took place. There was a cover up. Politicians and journalists learned a lesson. Those in the press imagined they had the power to dictate political leadership. Politicians found a way to undo elections.

 I cannot say America is better for it.

Do something, part 19

I sit here impatiently this morning. I'm tapping my foot. I am fidgeting in anticipation. Where are you Anonymous? I am waiting on your screeching comment on the actions of the mass murderer in SoCal last night.

It must be Trumps fault. It must be my fault. We should blame the white guy culture. Mysogonic thought is likely involved. If only we had "common sense" gun laws and background checks, none of this would happen. Five innocents would be alive.

Oh wait, it was an angry Hispanic wielding a knife.

Oh my, what if it had a black plastic handle?

Did you know anyone can buy a knife at WalMart? Did you know you can get them at gun shows? There is no required psychology test before you are licensed to own a knife? You are not even required to have permission from the Government to carry a knife. Children have access to knives. Why do people need more than one knife? I have at least 10, the police should keep a list and watch me closely, I guess.

Or, perhaps humans are just evil. Some are crazy. When those traits combine terrible things happen.
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