May 31, 2007


Allergies have been kicking my ass for the last couple of days. We need some rain to beat down the pollen.

The baseball team returned to its losing ways last night. They played well against the leagues unbeaten team. One of my best players was not there.

I miss my trolls. They make for easy posts.

As I read through the sidebar I find some of you are also experiencing creativity issues. Not all of you, just a few. It is good I am not alone.

Check this out. Tell me what you think.

May 30, 2007

Dear George

The American people want the illegals out. Gone. Sent to whence they came.

The American people do not want Amnesty.

The American people do not want a lousy $3,000 fine few will pay.

I do not care about splitting families. The wife and kids can go too. When one commits any crime, that splits up families. It sucks, but every illegal knew they were breaking our laws. Do not do the crime...

We are sick of "push one for English"

We are sick of ten hour waits at the emergency room because it is filled with illegals with sore throats.

We are sick of having to pay for extra teacher's aides, court interpreters, etc. because a segment cannot, and often will not, speak the common language. My German relatives changed their name to make it sound more 'English'. Learning the language was their first priority.

I am sick of mariachi music. And take the skunky Corona back to Mexico too.

George, you are wrong to chastise the American people. You are wrong to offer amnesty. Reagan made this mistake, do not follow his poor example.

Close the border. Tax HEAVILY any funds transfers out of the country. Fine every business caught hiring illegals $100,000 for EACH illegal they have hired. The next time double the fine, and double it again until they stop. Prosecute any Mayor, police chief and sheriff who refuse to enforce and report immigration laws. They are failing to uphold their sworn oath to uphold the laws of this country. If your own Justice Department is not enforcing the immigration laws currently on the books -- well, for that George, you should be impeached.

Dear Obama -- Are you stupid?

Whew hoo, we finally won a ballgame last night. After a five game losing streak. The boy still is struggling at the plate, he hits the ball right to someone EVERY time. Hard line drives, deep fly balls, hopping grounders, it does not matter. The odds will turn in his favor eventually.

Osama Obama says he wants to provide insurance for everyone. We will all pay lower premiums. Businesses will cover the extra costs. This is just one more example of why the Dimocrats are ignorant about business. Companies are in business to make money. Without profits to reinvest, to pay the shareholders and owners that business will be closed. When the government adds regulations and costs to a business they pass it to the consumer. Why have your utility bills doubled and doubled in the last decade?-- regulation and Government costs. The same for every item you buy. If the Socialists get their way and add the cost of health insurance for everyone to a business, then we will all pay more in the price of cheese, bread, cars, appliances, houses, lumber -- everything we buy. Who does that hurt -- the poor. Hello inflation, goodbye expanding economy.

Look, you cannot provide more of a good at a lower cost -- especially a service. There are no economies of scale in health care. Already those interested in Medical School are turning from family practice, fewer want to be doctors. Lawyers, Medicaid and HMOs are strangling doctors, and this will only make it worse. Universal health care is not the answer. If you want to wait a year for non-emergency surgery, if waiting a month for a doctor visit is the care you want -- then you should vote for this nit-wit. If you want the cost of medical treatment to drop -- reign in the lawyers.


May 29, 2007

Hello Monday, redux

It is the second Monday of this week. I have nothing interesting, witty, or intelligent to offer at this time. I do have a baseball game this evening.

I did have a poor me post earlier, but I took it down pretty quick. What I think I need is a good kick in the ass to get me motivated. I am sure you can all line up behind Dick.

I have not heard from Dell. 8 days and counting as I wait for that magical call from the Fraud Department that was promised within 24 hours.

I hope we all get laid tonight!

May 27, 2007

Mortar Boards and tassels

Graduation went of without a hitch. The house looked great. The wife was satisfied. Despite the weatherman's predictions of rain and thunder the day was mostly sunny with nary a drop of precipitation. Many people showed up and we have enough food left to feed most of you -- come on over. A big thanks to you all for helping me deal with my wife's craziness. I also want to offer a HUGE thanks to Jerry at Back Home Again. You should blogroll him if you have not already. The kids all played down by the little brook. They found some stray crawdad parts (pinchers)likely left by the feral cats in the neighborhood, but no snakes or basilisks. After cleaning the front porch on Friday evening one of these cats pissed all over one of the chair legs. That pissed me off.

If you will remember several months ago my son's best friend was killed in a car wreck. My son has had a tough time with it. That young man's family went to graduation (all of the students wore a ribbon in his honor) and then they came over for the open house. That was a great thing for my son. The mother is tougher than I. Going to the graduation had to be difficult. I am glad my son stays in touch with that family.

We are done with graduation for a couple of years. Thank goodness. Today I plan on catching up my blog reading, playing a little baseball (if it does not rain) and finishing the final book in the Master and Commander series. I began to reread these books in January and I have about 100 pages left in book twenty. If you have not read these novels you are missing on an entertaining and literary jewel.

Have a great Holiday Weekend. Oh, and for those of you keeping score, no call yet from the fraud department at Dell 130 hours and counting.

May 24, 2007

24 hours

Here is a math quiz, in honor of today being the last day of school. How many hors is it from 6:00 PM on Monday to 11:00 am on Thursday? If you are in India, and Work for Dell that period of time is less than 24 hours. I know this is true because I have been told by 17 different people now I would be contacted in 24 hours by Dell's mysterious and unaccessable Fraud Department. I know where Bin Laden is, he works at Dell. They are impossible to find as well.

My aching back

Here are pics of the some of the landscape work done over the weekend. I built these flower beds (you know the drill clickee = biggee):

There is a ton of work yet to be done. I do not think anyone has paid attention to the landscaping in years. Oh, and the wife hates the red trim -- that is what she wanted me to repaint this week. Did not/will not happen.

May 22, 2007

Dell Sucks

Monday evening my wife came home from work and checked the online bank balance. She knows I have a history of forgetting to mention debits to her on occasion. Man was she surprised to see the account overdrawn. The culprit was a mysterious charge from Dell Computer. For more than one thousand dollars.

We have one Dell computer, a laptop I bought for my daughter when she began college. It was not my choice, the school virtually insisted on that brand and offered a steep discount to encourage the purchase. The computer lived up to my expectations and is a piece of junk (the keys keep falling off, among other problems). Imagine my surprise when one was billed to my debit card. We did a quick check with the kids, none had inadvertently ordered or even been to the Dell website.

The wife called Dell, I called the bank. The bank said since the debit was still in pending, we should contact Dell, but they could do nothing until the charge became "official". The wife waited on hold with Dell for nearly twenty minutes and gave up. I called back. After nearly 20 minutes on hold I finally spoke to an Indian lady who while helpful said she would investigate and I should hear back shortly. She agreed I had no orders placed. This was around 5:15 pm. For me 'shortly' means within and hour or so.

Tuesday morning I had no resolution via email or phone call. I called the bank, they would not reverse the charges, but told me how Dell could fax the info to them and the account would be cleared. The banker was nice but explained that they could not reverse the charges in case I was trying to commit fraud. Made sense to me.

I called Dell. I was on hold for about 15 minutes and talked to a man from India. He confirmed I had no orders but told me the fraud department had to fix my issue and they would get back to me in 24 to 48 business hours (re: 3-6 days). I explained that was unacceptable, the bank was holding my money and I needed the account cleared today. We spoke in circles for quite a while before I demanded his supervisor. I held for more than 20 minutes to be told only the fraud department could help me. I asked for the fraud department. She told me she could not connect me. I told her to look it up in the directory. She said it did not exist. I pointed out the stupidity of telling me to contact a mysterious department. She explained that they would call me in 24 to 48 business hours. I became rather irate at this point and explained it all again. This conversation went on with various employees, all Indians, for the next 4 hours. Most of that time was spent on hold. The wife spent and additional 2-1/2 hours on the phone, same conversation, same result. Between us, we spoke to more than 12 individuals, filed three case histories and spent 6-1/2 hours on the phone, and I used a vacation day. To no avail.

At Dell, when they make a mistake, or you are the victim of fraud, you can only be helped by one department. That department has no fax, no phone number, and can only be contacted via e-mail by Dell Customer Service employees. The mysterious fraud department will contact you at the appropriate time. Too bad if you are a victim of ID theft, too bad they have frozen your bank account, too fucking bad.

At about 8:30 someone called from the fraud department told my wife the order was cancelled, we would get a refund in seven to ten DAYS and not to worry. He would not say if it was a Dell problem, ID Theft, anything -- only "I cannot comment on that". When my wife pointed out we cannot wait ten days for our money. She asked him to fax a letter to the bank. He said they do not have a fax and hung up. She tried the callback feature but got the phone mail hell and finally the usual: "You cannot contact the fraud department..." She gave up and spent a good part of the night in tears.

Today I am off to file a police report for ID Theft and cancel my debit card. I hope that will convince the bank to release the pending $1030.93 from my checking account. I will then have more than $800 to pay for the graduation food we ordered and my son's graduation gift. If that does not work, I am fucked. We committed to the deli for food we cannot pay for. I have already left an Email to the one contact I have at Dell to get the Fraud Department to call me back. I will then call the Indiana Attorney General Consumer Protect Division to see if they can help. This is all too much, a company charges your bank account for more than one thousand dollars and says sorry we will fix it in a week to ten days? Am I the only one this would cause a problem? Am I being unreasonable here?

Here is what I am asking from you, my loyal readers -- do not ever purchase a Dell product of any kind. Tell your friends, tell your family, tell strangers on the street that Dell Customer Service is the worst in the industry, and ranks only with the guy selling siding from his rusted pickup, or the guy selling meat from a truck in reliability and response after the sale. Tell them Dell products suck, and their terrible Asian Customer Service and Fraud Departments will put you on hold for hours and never ever call you back.


edit: A big thanks to the fine folks at my local bank branch who found a way to get me cash. They also are replacing my debit card and have instituted their own investigation. The police basically told me good luck.

Look at those baby blues

My youngest son. Yes, I agree he needs a haircut.

May 21, 2007

My oldest son

My middle child will graduate high school Saturday. He will be relieved and so will his parents. He is smart, but does not like to study. I know, Parents are biased, but I believe he is a gifted artist.This is an oil painting of Syd Barrett he did at school last week. He told us he will not study art in college. He says it is stupid. The real reason is his high school art teacher. She thought the best way to motivate him into using all of his talent was to give him a 'B' on art projects. She should have figured out four years ago this only makes him give up. He became increasingly frustrated he was getting Bs on work that was vastly superior to other students who were getting As. Four years later she has only motivated him to hating all art teachers. We tried repeatedly to talk to this teacher, but she said she knew she could get to my son's inner drive. He enjoys sculpture, but that is not his best subject. He really likes drawing best. Here are couple of animal drawings (sorry about the quality, it is hard to take a picture of a picture)
He really enjoys graphic arts and drawing cartoons. At one point that was his dream. He has created a whole series of comic characters:
Click to make bigger, but honestly the images do not do credit to the talent. He is going to college in the fall, intending to major in Japanese to become a teacher. He says he will not take art classes. That is sad, I think.

He returns.

Man, I am sore. I returned home on Friday from travelling all week. For those of you who travel have you ever noticed that whenever you allow extra time for traffic you always arrive at the airport early? We left early for LaGuardia on Friday since we had to travel at the tail of 'rush hour'. We allowed for the often one hour wait at the tri-borough, and breezed right through. I already was leaving an hour after my colleagues, so I was in the US Air terminal and through security by 10:30 for my 1:30 flight. Of course, things being what they are, nearly every flight out of that airport, including mine, was delayed by one to one and one-half hours. Upon arriving at Indy, The remote lot only had one bus running. A common theme these days in the travel industry -- raise prices, lower service. They compounded the aggravation factor by only having ONE payment booth open. Great planning for a Friday Evening! And you know,(my travel/road rage now ramped to full steam mode) that every idiot in Central Indiana was out on the highway driving ten miles below the speed limit in the left lane. I was glad to get home at last. I remembered why I hated travelling four days a week.

Anywhoo, I was telling you why I was sore. On Saturday I mowed and trimmed the yard. I pruned the bushes and flinged/flung the dog turds back into the neighbor's yard. I prepared the flower beds for planting. Then I took the boy to practice baseball. I hit about 75 balls to him for infield practice then we took batting practice. He has lost his confidence lately so we hit through the problem. I pitched somewhere close to 400 pitches. I still cannot raise my arm above my head on Monday morning. I should add when we practice, the boy determines how long and how much we practice. I will not force him to take hitting or infield practice. In fact it was me that cried no mas on hitting another bucket.

Sunday dawned with me putting in a new mailbox and post. Then we planted flowers and mulched for the balance of the day. I dug two new flower beds. Since I do not have a tiller, this means shovel and hoe. At one point I dumped some mulch into a flower bed and asked the wife if she wanted me to get my hoe to spread it around the flowers. She told me sure. I replied "OK, go ahead". She did not find it amusing, especially after I had to explain it to her. Well, "Ho" jokes did not work for Imus either. I put two coats of paint on the front door. Before dark we went and took some more infield practice. The boy laughed at me and told me I threw like a girl while we were warming up. The shoulder felt like the old commercial showing your engine running without oil.

I am so glad to go back to my real job today. It is so much easier than working for my wife. And the pay is better.

May 20, 2007

work work work

I have a busy week ahead. Multi tasking for the graduation fete. The spouse is a hrsh taskmaster, indeed. I will be doing some rearranging of the old template and blogroll, additions and subtractions will be the order of the day. So many of my favorites are gone, I am awaiting your return. Can the Hoosierboy be far behind?

May 19, 2007

Weekend Funny

Who thought it was a good idea to bring the woodpecker?

May 16, 2007


Another day of sales meetings. Today we had negotiation training. No more needs to be said about that. I am out of touch reading blogs, catching the news, anything beyond sales meetings, eating, and drinking copious amounts of beer.

Sucks to be me.

May 15, 2007

I stand corrected

Well, it is as I predicted in my mind, the women would all side with my wife. I guess it is a degree of what I think is 'wrong" and her opinion.

Travelling this week, so posts will be sparse and sporadic. I gave my presentation and the boss said I set the standard for what a sales presentation should be. See my ears blush? I gave him my best "ah shucks thank you." Hah, I thought it was good too. Some of the presentations were so boring...

Just a question for my readers -- if I were to ask if you knew what a 'sweeper' was, would you know? For example I would say I ran the sweeper yesterday. What did I do? I got a big blank look when I mentioned that word today, I was told it must be a 'Hoosierism'.

Please advise.

May 14, 2007

Uptight and Bitchy

I normally do not post stuff that is really personal, and sometimes I do just make up stuff, like the story of the allergy-ridden date I posted last week. That was just me and my dry sense of humour trying to be funny. Current events have left me in a state I just have to say what is on my mind or I will explode. So you guys get to read about it. Maybe my frustration can reach manageable levels.

The oldest boy graduates high school in two weeks. We have decided to have the post-graduation at the house. Not a big deal, right? The wife has been in a tizzy for the past two weeks and it is only going to get worse. I understand we need to clean, but is it necessary to paint the entire house -- inside and out? I won that argument by simply telling her I refuse to do it. That garnered me two days of silence. Now she thinks we need to completely redo the landscaping. I have no issue with planting flowers etc., but things are getting ridiculous. While at Lowes she asked me how hard it would be to buy a bunch of pavers to expand the patio. She confirmed she meant before graduation. I explained it was a major project, costing beaucoup bucks and effort. That made her mad too. She proclaimed we were going to replace that mailbox, it was an embarrassment. Do we really need to replace the curtains in every room? Do we need a new comforter? Are the scratches on the laundry room doors that big of a problem? Ok, I will compromise and paint them.

I am telling you she has been so unpleasant and impossible I am ready to do something drastic. I would never punch her in the nose, but the thought did cross my mind. She is really upset I have to travel all week. The damn company went and scheduled a sales meeting just to piss her off. Hello Big Apple. Goodbye walking on eggshells.

Please help me. Am I too casual about the whole thing or has my wife gone off the deep end? Is this graduation a much bigger deal than I think it is? We rented a place for my daughter's reception when she graduated and I thought that was nuts too. If I make it the next two weeks it will be a miracle. The wife has been so unbelievably short tempered, mad, pouty and unpleasant I am starting to wonder if she is in the beginning of menopause or something. Of course I am not so stupid as to utter that thought aloud. Things better return to normal after graduation. For the first time in 23 years I have to honestly say I love my wife, but these days I really do not like her much.

May 13, 2007

An important message

Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms out there.

May 11, 2007

hack, spit, cough, upchuck

We were at the ball diamond watching a game last night. The little one was working -- he gets paid to be an official scorekeeper. The game ended around 8:15 or so. We decided to grab a bite to eat on the way home. We went to 'buffet' type place. The food was as bad as ever. We had just sat down in the EMPTY restaurant when a family came in. It was an older couple and their SEVERELY retarded, disabled, whatever the right term is, son. He is a quadriplegic and drools to such an extend he wears a bib. He cannot talk, move anything. I do not begrudge this family their night on the town, but they chose the table RIGHT NEXT TO OURS. There were probably 100 open tables to choose from. We were trying to eat as this kid proceeded to hack cough gag and spit up every thirty seconds or so. Have you ever tried to eat when someone is gagging and puking right next to you? It was like a cat with a giant hairball.

God forbid I ever find myself in such a situation with one of my loved ones. But for cripes sake shouldn't you have some consideration for others? I am not advocating the kid should be locked up or shut in, but you could try to separate yourself from other patrons when possible. So I ate about ten bites and the wife and kid less. Thirty-four bucks wasted.


Well, I have driven over 1300 miles so far this week. That is a bunch of gas. Each visit to the pump was painful. Now I have a shitload of paperwork to catch up. It is so good to be me. In the meantime*, it is sunny and warm outside and I am at the desk working on call reports, sample orders, quality issues and preparing my presentation for next week's sales meetings. I closed the blinds so I cannot see outside, otherwise I would be on the porch smoking a good cigar.

* am I the only one that hears Ted Knight's voice from the Superfriends every time I see the phrase "In the meantime"?

May 9, 2007

All the right moves

I pulled my T-shirt down over my sweaty back and surveyed the lawn. The grass was cut in nice straight strips. The trimming had been done around the numerous flower beds, ornamental bushes, trees and the house and patio. And this was in the prehistoric days before weed eaters and electric trimmers. I had trimmed the entire yard with those old scissor-type trimmers. Grandma asked me if I wanted to come in for a game of cribbage, but I told her I had to get home and clean up. I had a date. She said I could have a Coke, so I went down to the basement where she kept the soft drinks. It took just two long drinks to drain the little six ounce bottle.

Why does Coke taste so much better in little bottles?

When I came back upstairs Grandma handed me a bunch of cut daisies.

Some money would be nice.

She said they were for my date. I told her kids did not do that stuff anymore, but she said the girl would love it.

The girl met me at the door and gave me a wooden look when I held out the flowers. I told her they were for her and they smelled good. She stuck her face into the bouquet then handed them to her mother to put into water. We left for the movies.

Time to execute, initiate the set up.

As we walked through the parking lot I stretched first my right arm then my left over my head. I repeated the motion in the ticket line. I explained I had been 'landscaping' all day and my arms were stiff.

Oh yeah

We took our seats for the movie and I held her hand during the previews.

Take it slow HB.

A few minutes into the movie I stretched the arms again, this time I slipped my left arm around her shoulder.

Oh yes, you are smooth. Now the tricky part, take it slow and she will never know what is going on

She leaned against me. She turned to me and smiled. I gave her my best 'make her melt look'.

I slowly let my hand drop down and brush her breast. When there was no response, I repeated.

Yes, yes, yes, she does not even know what I am doing!

I let my hand rest on her booby. I began to gently massage.

go, go, go, yes

I felt her breathe deep. I squeezed gently. I kissed the back of her neck. She began to breathe a little deeper. I rubbed against the nipple, I think it was getting hard. She began to breathe rapidly. She was almost panting.

Holy cow, she was getting hot

She whispered something, she was out of breath. "What?" I said.

"Stop" she moaned a little louder. I pretended not to hear.

No no no no no

She brushed away my arm and hissed "Quit, let go".

"I thought you were getting excited" I whispered into her ear.

"No, I am allergic to flowers, I can't breathe -- I need my inhaler."

May 8, 2007

How you can tell a Catholic is driving too fast

I have a bunch of jokes that make fun of every religion -- I am an equal opportunity offender here. I will post more in the future. Now I am off to enjoy the pain and suffering of Chicago highways and toll roads.

May 7, 2007


Greetings. Sorry to leave the old Picture of Santa up to burn out your eyes. I had baseball games this weekend, we moved the daughter back home from college yesterday and I was sick. Nothing like carrying boxes up and down stairs while you are faint and nauseous and running a fever. The good news is she is home, now we have to find a place to put all of her junk.

I have to do my expenses today for work. I have not done them in a month, so the task is huge. Poor me. Check out some of the folks over there on the right, there is some good posts at their sites. Posting will be light over the next few weeks. I have lots of business travel on tap and my oldest boy graduates from High School, so we are trying to put the house into shape. I am not sure why the house has to be prettied beyond normal for people(mostly relatives) who have already been here, but the wife is in a serious uproar and it is easier to go along than fight about it. Some days it sucks to be.

May 4, 2007

Friday Funny

A man goes to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The dentist takes
out a needle to give the man a shot of Novocain.
"No way, no needles, I can't stand needles". The dentist starts to
hook up the laughing gas but the man again objects.

No gas, please the mask on my face is suffocating to me". The
dentist then asks if the man has any objection to taking a pill.

"No" said the patient "I'm fine with pills". The dentist then
returns and says "Here's a Viagra tablet"

The patient says "Wow, I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain pill".

"It doesn't" said the dentist "but it will give you something to
hold on to when I pull out your tooth"

May 3, 2007

After dinner mint, Sir?...

I went to one of the local Chinese Buffet places for lunch. I had two medium sized helpings. Garlic Chicken over fried rice the first time and a mixture of Chicken and Broccoli and Pepper Steak on the second plate. I took small spoons both times. There was a guy there so fat he literally was sitting on two chairs -- on purpose. I bet he weighed an easy 500 lbs. I estimate the width of his back was close to five feet. This guy was huge. I forgot I have a camera phone now or I would have sneaked (snuck?) a picture.

When I got home I realized I splattered brown Chinese food stuff on my brand-new and never worn white Indianapolis Colts Super Bowl Champs T-shirt. I am such a klutz.

Go tell one of my favorite bloggers James Old Guy happy Birthday. While you are there read some of his archives, the guy makes a lot of sense.


Oh, we are a sorry bunch. Everyone is apologizing these days. Don Imus for trying to be a hip rap artist, the LA Police Chief because his officers used "excessive" measures on rowdy rioting illegals, Clinton for slavery, Carter for everything. The list goes on forever. Well I wants me a piece of the apology pie.

I want an apology for the lousy breakfast I was sold at the Golden Arches this morning. I want a big ole Patsy Cline 'sorry' for the price of gas. Most of all I want a certain individual on her knees wailing, begging for forgiveness. I want true remorse for the wrongs done to me, for ruining my plans, for disappointing me on a regular basis. I want long-lasting and sincere lamentations for the pain and suffering inflicted upon my person. No, I am not targeting the chick that pulls out the lottery balls (but she would be high on the list). I am talking about the weather lady, and her cohorts on the local news.

Time after time their prognostications have proven to be as false as Nostradamus, less reliable than the bum on the corner decrying the end of the world. When these weather charlatans are not shouting about doom and disaster like Chicken Little, they are promising sunny days that somehow get ruined buy a slow moving front, an unexpected dip in the gulf stream, an Alberta Clipper. Do they make their predictions through augury -- do they toss sheep bones, read the mixture of blood and entrails, the flight of birds, tea leaves? All could be as accurate as the computers, Doppler radars, and fancy graphics employed today. With all the advances in science they can no better predict the weather than ship captain with a barometer 200 years ago. Just think, these same individuals want us to buy into their weather predictions for 100 years in the future. Al Gore, you have more faith than I in the forecasting capabilities of the weather babe.

If I did my forecasts with the same degree of accuracy we accept with complacency from these hacks, I would have lost my job long ago and the company warehouse would be full of the wrong widgets. Let us look at the weather man's performance this week for example. On Monday the five day forecast was:

Tues Rain in the afternoon and evening
Wed Rain ending by morning -- party sunny the balance of the day
Thur Sunny
Friday Sunny and warm
Sat Sunny and warm

On Tuesday the forecast remained the same except the rain did not arrive so it was going to stretch into the early afternoon on Wednesday. OK, they were off by about 12 hours, this is borderline acceptable. It was still raining off and on at Eight PM.

Now here is the forecast offered this morning:

Thurs Rain off and on
Friday Rain, possible severe storms
Sat Rain ending in early afternoon
Sun Sunny
Mon Sunny

How can it change so much in two days? I want what is coming to me, I want you to tell me you are sorry, I want you fired. I want you placed in a pillory in the town square where we can pelt you with banana peels and rotten tomatoes. We will put you there on a day you predict will be sunny and 80, knowing full well the weather will be drizzle and 63 degrees. I want my sunny and warm Saturday.

Do not relax yet lottery chick, you are next.

May 2, 2007


In a gratuitous effort to antagonize one of my readers I will conduct another sweeping poll:

Name the greatest nation in the history of mankind

Place your vote in the comments. PLEASE do not disappoint me. Puppies and Kitties and little blue-eyed babies are counting on you to vote!

Get Set! point! Fire!?

During the Civil War volley fire was often directed by the drum, the human voice difficult to hear over the clamor and din of battle. The sequence was thus:

bump bump bump bump bump (ready). bump bump bump bump bump (aim). bump...bump...bump...BANG (the gun fires on the fourth beat). A another bump was the signal to reload.

In the British Army of the Napoleonic Wars the order was "Present, Take Aim, Fire".

To the best of my knowledge, the US Army has used the standard "ready, aim, fire" as the command for volley fire.

Alan Canfora, one of the nine students shot at Kent State has now released an audio tape he claims offers evidence the National Guardsmen were ordered to shoot the students. Canfora played the tape to reporters in which he says a Guard officer issues the command, "Right here! Get Set! Point! Fire!" Can any of my readers who served in the military or the Ohio National Guard in the Vietnam era verify that such a ridiculous firing sequence was ever used? I cannot hear the alleged order in the version I heard on TV, but if such words were uttered could it have been from the rioters?

Kent State represents the end of the Peace and Love era of the 1960s. The Woodstock Summer of Love was replaced by the riots at Kent State. Anyone who thinks this was a demonstration where the poor students sat around singing "Give Peace a Chance" and practicing non-violent revolution is sadly mistaken. This was a full-blown riot. Two days before, the students burned down the ROTC Building and prevented the firemen from putting out the fire. On the fateful day they threw rocks and refused to disperse. Too bad most of the videos on you tube only show stills, not the actual riot. The only one I could find was a German Documentary. The Guardsmen all testified they feared for their lives. The shooting was not justified, but one could understand what happened. In any case, the Shootings at Kent State remain one of our darkest days.

May 1, 2007

One last time

I realize for most of you the subject of history is the ultimate soporific. Your eyes immediately glaze over and your head drops to your chest, learned aversions from droning history teachers in high school that presented a list of dates and events on the overhead projector and chalk board. History is taught without passion. Most people, including my kids, look at the subject of the past and offer a ho hum and a why?

I love history. I have spent most of my life studying various aspects and historical periods. I have delved into the Napoleonic Wars, American Civil War, WWII, the Zulus, The Sioux uprising of 1890, Lewis and Clark, the Revolutionary War, and WWI in recent decades. It is a hobby. I make no claims to genius, no special insight.

I do believe I possess enough layman's knowledge to carry on a discuss of history and the effect of the past on modern man. I welcome a discussion, I like to learn from others. Informing me I am ignorant, a fascist, that I have my head up my ass because I think the Romans offered more to history than the Kingdom of Mali, well I am at a loss for words. Reasonable people would present their argument, I mine and we would agree to disagree. Some people, small and insecure, find it necessary to carry the discussion further. If I do not acknowledge their point of view as THE version, I become the monster, the idiot.

I see a similar dialogue in politics today. Those who believe in Global Warming refuse to have a dialogue, we must all radically change our lives NOW -- No compromise, no discussion. We must bow down on the church of Gaea. For those of us who might support the war on terror we are fascist baby killers and evil. Should we have a dialogue on the progress of the war and how it is being fought? -- absolutely. It is impossible when you begin with equating me with Hitler. In schoolyard discussions these were the ones who always reply to facts with "well, you are fat" before they ran away crying to Mommy. They are unable to carry the discussion on fact so they resort to insults and name calling. They are unable to recognize opinion is just that -- opinion. Like assholes, everyone's opinion stinks (except mine).

Mark is one of these people. I bet I can describe him very well. He is probably from the East Coast, a few years out of college. He is working in his first job, making decent money, but he thinks his boss is stupid. He has perhaps travelled to Central America or Mexico to either vacation or maybe he spent a week helping those less fortunate through college or church. He sees I am from Indiana and is certain I am a hick, stupid and uneducated. I must be dumb because I speak with a different accent and talk slow. He can not accept he might be wrong, another might have knowledge. Hey Mark, I saw the History Channel show about the Mongols too.

Mark sees the people of the world and feels bad that the Great Zimbabwe is not mentioned in the same breath as the Great Pyramid of Cheops. It is not fair. He thinks maybe reparations for African Americans might be a good idea. He thinks Bill Gates makes too much money, and we should dictate higher pay for those who work at McDonald's. He believes Wal-Mart is evil and exploits its associates because it will not provide insurance to its workers. He wants Christmas removed from schools, but sees no problem with Muslims demanding foot baths in the Taxi restrooms at the Kansas City Airport (at government expense). Mark can see no reason any citizen should own a gun. He thinks we should be forced to buy smaller cars, and wishes the price of gas was higher, so we would take public transportation. He is convinced Bush is the Anti-Christ and Haliburton the root of all evil. I bet he secretly believes that either/or we deserved the attacks on 9/11, or that the Government blew up the towers. He wants to ban pesticides and says we should buy organic vegetables, but he will not pay the price when he shops. I bet he is awesome at video games. I bet Mark thinks Augusta National should be forced to accept women members, but has no problem with his boys night out every Wednesday (where he wows his friends at NTN Trivia).

Mark looks at the US and believes it is wrong to have so much wealth, so much freedom, so much goodness. We must have stolen it. It must have been gained at the expense of the Bedouins, the Ugandans, the Ashanti, the name your group here.

Mark thinks he is an intellectual, he is pleased at the attention, never knowing he is but a troll, an insignificant speck getting his jollies putting a hick in his place. He will never see how so many of us are laughing at him, at his pathetic cries for attention. He demands we listen to him, yet no person of historical aptitude or knowledge would agree the "Songhai [was a]...pretty big, important empire", a rival in historical importance to Rome, the Alexandrian Empire or even the US today.

What is really sad is this poor lonely little boy has succeeded in stamping his foot, holding his breath and demanding we all look at him. Like a parent that repeatedly spoils his brat, he got two posts and a long comment from me. Now I wish he would just go away, I am bored with his pseudo-intellectualism and holier than thou attitude. On second thought. I guess I am stupid. I just wasted another ten minutes on this pathetic piece of shit.
Consider everything here that is of original content copyrighted as of March 2005
Powered By Blogger