October 19, 2021

Night time passion

 After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to touch her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.

He then slid his hand across her shoulders and neck, slowly worked it down one side, then the other, stopping just over her lower stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed downward again, working down her side, passed gently over and then in between her buttock and down her leg to her calf.

Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg.

He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, “That was wonderful. Why did you stop?”

“I found the remote,” he said.


October 17, 2021

Like a river flows

 I’ve been occasionally featuring tunes from 1971. How about we go back sixty years to ‘61 and listen to one of the King’s best:


Blue Hawaii, Clambake, and Fun in Acapulco remain among my favorite Elvis movies. While widely panned these days, Elvis wasn’t a bad actor. He did have some bad scripts to work with. In fact, he was a top box office draw in the sixties. Now am I claiming he was screwed out of the Oscars? Nope. But he was better than he is often given credit. On the other hand, for the most part he was expected to be pretty much Elvis in his movies, so he should have been better than average at it. 

October 16, 2021

If a Cabinet Officer can take two months off work, is he really doing anything?

Yikes!, it is forty-seven degrees outside. Hotter than blazes if you live in Celsius land. Rather cool if you live in ‘Murcia where we still use the confusing and righteous Imperial system. The rest of the world can just take your Celsius and your kilometers and your liters and bugger off. “I’d walk 1.609 kilometers for a Camel” just doesn’t have the same cachet. 

Yes, I’m in that same weird mood as yesterday. 

I have been watching the Ken Burns documentary on Muhammad Ali. I am two episodes in. Is it possible to admire and hate a person? That’s the way I always felt about the boxer. Not for his religion. It was his braggadocio.* He spawned a whole generation of athletes lacking in humility. You understand his trash talking, his taunts. He got so far into his opponents head he was in their dreams. But you can never doubt his work ethic nor his skill. 

My coffee is getting cold and the content is getting stale. Time to wrap it up.



*I often joke around here about being king or whatever. In real life I am a self-deprecating humble person.  

October 15, 2021

I am exactly the same size and weight as a crash test dummy.

 I’m slow to the blog this morning. No reason, I just slept late again. The dog is intensely staring at me in vain hope I will share my breakfast. I don’t think it is the coffee he covets as much as the beef jerky. Yes, you read that correctly. Do I judge you? 

OK, sometimes. Especially if you eat loathsome sweet potatoes. Or vegetarian hamburger. Maybe just a wee bit if you put ketchup on a hot dog…I better stop, I judge people a lot. 

Perhaps “judge” isn’t the correct word. I just know what is right and proper and what is not. As arbiter of good taste and decency, I could let you know if you are ever in doubt. 

Wait, how strange is this? I just got an email. Reader Chris writes My hot girlfriend doesn’t like Ranch dressing so…[insert sound of record scratching] stop right there. Just dump her if she doesn’t like Ranch. She probably also votes Democrat and carries around a purse dog of some sort.

And yet another: Dear Joe, my husband is a great provider, a wonderful father, and a Yankees fan…[screech] Divorce him. All Yankee fans are assholes. 

One more: Dear Joe, with the climate crisis getting increasingly worse…[Screech, thump, boing, thwack, bang] Get off my blog. “Increasingly worse” is repetitively redundant. Explain what made the glaciers melt and the Medieval warming period and I might buy into your were all gonna die climate cult. BTW, aren’t we past Al Gores point of no return already? 

That is enough for today. I’m always here if you need help figuring how to live the good life. God, guns, good food, and small government are all a pretty firm basis for living life right. But go ahead and ask me if you are not sure.


October 14, 2021

Let’s go Brandon

The jelly dripped out of my donut onto the paper plate as I perused the interwebz this morning. I slept late because I stayed up late. It often works that way. Of course my version of “sleeping in” is likely different than yours. No one is wrong here, except Joe Biden. He seems to be wrong about pretty much everything. 

I will type a few words here then I’ll check some work emails even though I’m on vacation. Then I’ll…do something else. I don’t know what. 

I mowed the lawn yesterday. It needed it. Rain is supposed to move in later today and tomorrow. Inside stuff should probably be considered. My cigar fairy is giving half a box of some cheap stogies he scored. I need to drag out my spare humidor and get it conditioned. That’ll take about ten minutes. I could always do some cleaning. I could drink coffee and goof around on the internet…

Here is one last picture from our mini-vacation. This a view from the stage at the famous Red Rocks amphitheater. I walked right on the stage where acts like the Beatles have played. Pretty cool.


October 13, 2021

Uneven ground

I mentioned the other day that I slipped. 

I was zip lining with my wife and son and fell on some loose dirt. The ground was steep. This was the terrain:

The view west from Lookout Mountain taken by me

Yes, I was riding suspended from a thin cable at speeds in excess of 50mph in the Rocky Mountains. 

See there is proof. Right there on the left.

We spent the Saturday through Tuesday morning in the Denver area visiting my oldest son. It was great to see him.

On Monday, he had to work so we drove up into the mountains, spending the day in Breckinridge. The scenery was breathtaking. 

The village was charming, albeit touristy. Unfortunately, the gondola was closed in the in-between summer and skiing seasons, so we couldn’t do any of the activities up on the mountain. 

The wife was thrilled to see snow capped mountains in the summer and certainly had never been 11,000 feet above sea level before. 

In all it was a great time.  I took all of the scenery pictures with my trusty iPhone. Embiggen if you desire.

View from the interstate near Frisco

From downtown Breckenridge 


October 12, 2021

Cheating Death

 Death: It’s your time. give me your hand

Blonde: No! i know that if i dont touch you then I’ll never die!

Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You’re soooo smart! High five!

Blonde: *high fives*

Death: Typical blonde… Dumbass…

October 11, 2021

I ain’t no Weeble

I slipped fell amongst some dirt and gravel yesterday. Nothing was hurt much beyond my pride; a scrape or two on my hands. Probably twenty people saw my slip. I popped right back up, but still. 

In my defense the ground was slopped quite precipitously. More on that later. 

Once upon a time the only semi-athletic skill I possessed was extraordinary balance. I could run along beams, I could balance on one foot for hours, I could stand on my head. These days, not so much. Not that I am wobbly or that I fall often, it is that pulling on jeans or standing on one foot without holding on isn’t as easy as it was in my younger days. The past few months have proven that. I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time on one foot.

Yesterday’s fall was far more about uneven ground than anything, but I still hate it. 

In a totally unrelated note, it is Columbus Day. If you want an “Indigenous Peoples Day” choose any one of the remaining 364. That, I would be cool with. 

October 10, 2021

Anything you want

 Sunday.

The wife wanted chili.


There you go, baby. Served, of course, with cornbread. 


There I go, thinking again

 I heard an ad on the radio earlier in the week seeking people to work at Camp Attabury in south central Hoosierdom to work in food prep and janitorial positions. These people would provide services to Afghan refugees. 

Here’s a thought. Why don’t the refugees clean up after themselves and provide kitchen labor? We brought them here. We’re giving them a free place to live, probably money, certainly free healthcare. Is it too much to ask for a little sweat equity for those freebies? 

Yeah, I know rayyyciiiist.

October 9, 2021

Little Fireman

 A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little boy next door in a little red wagon with tiny ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The boy is wearing a firefighter’s helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat.

The firefighter walks over to take a closer look.

“That sure is a nice fire truck,” the fire fighter says with admiration.

“Thanks,” says the little boy.

As the firefighter looks a little closer, he notices the boy has tied the wagon to the dog’s collar and to the cat’s testicles.

“Little partner,” the firefighter says, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.”

The little boy says, “You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren.”


October 7, 2021

Plans change

Things change. Instead of wandering around Kentucky Wednesday and Thursday. I just hit a couple of customers yesterday and headed back north across the Ohio into God’s favorite state. This morning found me in the office to pick up a delivery for an important customer in Cincinnati instead. So it goes. I have a quick customer visit on the books for Friday morning. By the time I get back to the office Friday I’ll have logged more than 1,300 miles since October 01. My ass is not in travel shape yet. I’m sore. Coming home from Ohio this afternoon was painful. 

I’m digging it. 

I don’t know why you would care, but I couldn’t get through “the Thin Man”. I may go back to it later, but in the interim I listened to a compilation of a couple of Louis L’Amour short stories in audiobook form. When I got bored I switched to my library of music or the radio. 

No political talk radio. We are polarized: I’m right and you believe nonsense if you don’t agree with me. Seriously, I’m appalled at most of the stuff everything the current administration is try to push and I can’t argue with your ignorance if you can’t see the dangers. 

Tomorrow is Friday and I’m ready for a couple of days off. 

Have a great evening.

October 5, 2021

My old Kentucky Home

Not mine. I never lived here. But lots of people do. I’m amidst and among the inhabitants now after driving and meeting customers for the past 12 hours or so. But I’m safely ensconced in my hotel now, contemplating dinner. Unfortunately, I have work to do. Emails to send and tomorrow’s meetings to prepare for as I loop around from the west through the central part of the state. 

I listened to a terrific audiobook on my journey. It was called “The 64thMan”. It is about a guy and his struggles to realize his life-long dream of playing in the NFL. It was funny and a little sad. Apparently it is only available as an audio book. Too bad, it would make for an entertaining read. 

Now I have the classic “The Thin Man” cued up for tomorrow’s journeys. 

It started raining hard as I pulled into the hotel parking lot. I got a little wet walking in. Fret not, I’m not made of sugar, I won’t melt. 

There we are, all updated. I could probably write the same post tomorrow evening. It will be more of the same. Tune in and find out.

October 4, 2021

Beauty

 

Wikipedia

The Hotel Carlton in Cannes is the Grande Dame of the Rivera. It has hosted the rich and famous for more than a century in luxuriousness. Made famous as the hotel in The Hitchcock film It Takes a Theif starring Cary Grant and the indomitable Grace Kelly, the hotel is now part of the InterContenental chain. 

Completed in 1913 the hotel was the place to stay for the Royal and rich of Europe from the time it was opened. The famous domes on The beach side were said to be modeled after the breasts of the famous pre-Great War courtesan Carloline Otero who made the Rivera her home base. 

La Belle Otero is said to have seduced Kings and Dukes and the most powerful men in Europe. Men fought duels over her favors and it is said six men committed suicide after their affairs ended. 

Wikipedia 










You judge. I report.

October 3, 2021

Living in the past

Anyone who has read the musings and minutiae of this space since it’s humble beginnings back in 1947 is aware that I love history. I enjoy reminiscing. I relish tales of yore. 

But I wouldn’t go back and relive a moment of my life for any amount of riches. I’ve been there, done that. I made the best decisions based on the moment with the knowledge at hand.

OK, I made some bad decisions. Lots of them. But that’s how we build up life knowledge. It’s called experience. 

I have no interest in going to a high school reunion. If I wanted to talk to old schoolmates I would. If they wanted to find me it wouldn’t be hard. Until a year or so ago my mom and dad lived right there in the house where I grew up. 

Unlike the plot of movies, high school wasn’t the best time of my life. I didn’t hate it, but it sure wasn’t my glory days. Same with college, where I had a great time, as my grades proved. But, I wouldn’t go back. 

I’ve lived a pretty happy life. Lots of highs, even more lows. 

But I have lived. 

For that I’m thankful. But you can’t go back. You shouldn’t want to.


October 2, 2021

That is me singing along off key

The past couple of years I have lamented not traveling for work. Worse, for most all of summer I couldn’t even drive. The new gig has me back on the road and I’m digging it. September found me on the streets and highways to the tune of about 2,000 miles. I rode another 800 or 900 with my boss. Yes, I’m on the road again. 

I’m not on the old international or nationwide circuit anymore. A few years ago I had ten states in the upper Midwest. I’m more local focusing on Indiana and Kentucky now. I’m good with that.

I’m still out meeting customers, I hope to get to real prospecting and selling as I go along. 

Next week looks like some hard drives and long days. Hotels and dinners alone are in the cards. I’m good with that. I’m loaded with audiobooks and podcasts. I have music on my phone and a radio in my F-150. I’m back doing what I’m supposed to do. Windshield time is easy money.

Yes, rest assured I will be complaining about yet another powdered egg hotel breakfast or how my butt gets tired of riding, or how other people drive in the coming months. I’m good at complaining. I will still be secretly happy. I’ll be doing what I was meant to do.


I’m not a musician, but his description of life on the road fits.

Have a great Saturday. We are off to a wedding this evening. It looks like it will be a soggy, rainy day. No bride should have to get married on a rainy day. So it goes. I’m not in charge of weather.

Have a great Saturday.

October 1, 2021

I want to thank you

So Wednesday morning, the youngest granddaughter woke without a fever for the first time in seventeen  days. She made it through yesterday fine as well. It appears she has finally recovered from her bout of COVID. They go back to the infectious disease doc at the children’s hospital today for a check up. Let’s hope her blood test comes back with her white cell count and proteins back to normal. 

Thank you all for your prayers and kind words, 

So today marks my son’s birthday. No, that’s not a typo. The youngest son’s birthday was yesterday. The oldest boy (middle child) has his day today. Their older sister had a birthday just two weeks ago. 

Yes, you mathematicians, the Christmas and New Years seasons used to be good for me. My wife has always loved the holidays.šŸ˜Ž

September 30, 2021

The more things change…

It seems like yesterday I was telling you how the boy and his dog had to move back in. That was several years ago. Yeah, well guess what? Yup, the boy and his dog have moved back in. He and his long-time girlfriend had a falling out, mostly because she was sleeping with another guy. They have to be out of their apartment by today, so there you have it. His stuff is in storage and he is unhappily ensconced on the twin bed in my office. The dog is happy to run the fenced backyard unfettered. 

I don’t think he’ll be here long. It is an ugly drive downtown where he works. Worse coming home. Besides, he doesn’t want to live with his parents. We are no fun, I assure you. 

He didn’t start things off so well. He threw in a load of laundry last night. When the wife went to put it in the dryer she found coins, a lighter, a chapstick, and a vape [thing?] in the bottom of her brand new washer. 

Anyway, today is his birthday and I don’t think it is the best one he has ever had. 

Another One Bites the Dust

One of my favorites has disappeared. Anyone know what happened to Rotten Chestnuts?

September 27, 2021

Living as a brown recluse

I climbed in the walk-in shower this morning. There I stood in my wrinkled old man birthday suit. For some reason I glanced up and there, in the corner, was a big old spider. I don’t know the breed, I’m no spiderologist, but I’m sure it was related to the tarantula family. If not directly, at least in the mafioso family way. I’m sure he had mischief on his early-morning mind. 

I wondered how I was gonna kill him. He knew he was gonna kill me. The ceiling in our little shower is the same as all of the upstairs, eight foot. I couldn’t reach him. He couldn’t get to me to sink his poisonous fangs without getting wet. We had a standoff.

I kept an eye on him. I assume he kept 4 or 5 on me. The steam and damp from the shower got him moving. He crawled across the ceiling. He headed towards the top of the shower door. As I rinsed the shampoo from my head, he crawled around the corner. I was confident I could get him when I got out and had my boy parts safely tucked into my skivvies. 

I dried off. I wiped down the walls. I exited the shower and started hunting. 

The spider was nowhere to be found. Not above the tub. Not behind the decorative towels. Not behind the door. Not over by the sink. He was gone. 

Now I’m sure he is lying in wait to ambush me when I mosey in that bathroom for my middle of the night old man pee. 

September 25, 2021

The face of COVID


This is my sweet, mischievous, happy youngest granddaughter. She is two. She is in the hospital. She has been fighting COVID for nearly two weeks. We thought she was over it Tuesday, then extremely high fevers struck Wednesday morning. Now she is in the hospital because the fever won’t break. We are told this is common in young children who contract the disease.

This disease is not the sniffles. It is not the nothing many of you claim. It affects real people, often in dangerous ways. Statistics overwhelmingly show the vast majority of the illness is among the unvaccinated. 

You are spreading it. 

I want to put a face to the illness. 

The shot is not the Devils mark. It is not the mysterious “them” injecting you with a tracking device. It is not a secret mind altering serum that will trigger a sleeper drug that will make you a brain-washed liberal. Nor is it altering your DNA so your family will die out. It is not just old people or those with underlying illnesses that get sick. Yes, I’ve heard all of those theories in the past two weeks uttered from what appears to be sentient semi-intelligent people. 

I get resistance to being told what to do. I understand the issues with the jab. Real people, real little babies are getting sick. Are you helping contribute to the spread? Are you willing to make a two-year old sick for the sake of principle?

I’m aware I will lose loyal readers over this. I have relatives who will not speak to me based on my position. I don’t care. My sweet girl is more important. 

I will not entertain, nor argue with you in the comments. 

She got to come home Sunday evening. She is still fighting high temps. But she is home. Not before tearing out her IV and making her room look like a crime scene (according to my daughter). I can’t see her. 

September 22, 2021

Listen, I've traveled every road in this here land!

Pull out your trusty old atlas and follow along. Today I did Seymour, Scottsburg, Hanover, Madison, North Vernon, Hope, Shelbyville and home. All in very heavy rain. I was soaked going in and out of customers. Many refused to let me even enter the lobby because of the creeping COVID. Cold calls were a bust. A few places on my list were closed for good, probably from the economic downturn last year. I did listen to a couple of history podcasts, a little radio, and some silence as I toured the hills and curves of Southern Indiana. The Ohio was fast and muddy at Madison. 

I’m always struck about place names. Madison is not in Madison county, but in Jefferson county. Jeffersonville is in Clark county. Jefferson, the town, is in Clinton County. Clinton, the town, is in Vermillion county. Clarksburg is not in Clark county, but rather in Decatur county. And of course Decatur, the city, is not in Decatur county, but in Adams county. Adams, the town, is in Decatur county. Confused? At least Scottsburg is in Scott county. There is that. 

I do it all again tomorrow, heading south and west towards the Territorial Capital. I suspect the Wabash will be fast and muddy too. I’ll report. You won’t care.

That’s how it works. 



September 21, 2021

Easy chicken and noodles

It looks as if fall is setting in for the next few days with cool temps and rainy weather. Just in time. I finally have tomatoes getting ripe in my garden! We had some sliced with dinner tonight and they were awesome. Small, but I’ll take what I can get. I hope to get more before a freeze.

I’ll be on the road the next two days, returning by dinner. Southern Hoosierdom is my target this week. I made a mistake today though. I was in the office this morning when I realized I was supposed to travel today, be in the office tomorrow, and back out on Thursday. Whoops. Now I’m out for two days. I think I’ll have some over-nights next week. I’m cool with that. I’m really enjoying driving my F-150. It’s been a long time since I had a truck. 

We got the shutters and front door painted Sunday. I replaced all of the hardware too. We also power washed the porch and spread some mulch in the front flower bed. *

These arrived Monday. The wife is happy. Our old (13 years old) dryer hasn’t worked for a couple of months. I should thank my dad. The settlement of his estate got us those. I would rather have him with us though. 

Wow, this post is boring.




*The finished product:


That upper left window, behind the tree, is my office. Much of the genius in this blog occurs there. You will know where to go when they make this place into a museum in my honor.

September 19, 2021

…and boy are my arms tired

The problem with not doing anything all summer is nothing got done. In my defense you can’t do many projects with crutches tucked in your arm pits. That said, yesterday found me hard at work on one of the wife’s “we need to…” lists. The shrubs in front of the house were ugly, had a lot of dead, and needed trimmed. She wanted them gone. The lady at the nursery assured her fall was a good time to plant shrubs, so I headed out with saw, shovel, axe, clippers, and maul. Despite the heat and humidity I managed to cut, hack, and dig up all three uglies. The biggest challenge was trying to dig without pushing the shovel with my right foot. 

I replaced the dug-up bushes with new uniform boxwood. Of course, since we replaced three shrubs with four, that meant four brand new holes had to be dug in that nasty Indiana clay. 

I’m feeling it today. But there is no rest for the wicked. She has moved to the next item on her list of things to be done. Today we will paint the front door and shutters. So no, I guess I won’t be watching the football game. 

I can’t wait to go to work Monday so I can rest up.

September 18, 2021

Hedge Hopping Hodge Podge

The boy’s dog is spending the weekend with us. Reasons. OK. The Boy is at a bachelor party. I don’t know why I felt the need for mystery. Anyway, the dog is whining and snuffy-barking through little corgi dreams here on the couch next to me. I’m sipping coffee and wandering through the blogosphere. As usual I end up here staring at the blinking cursor wondering what I have to offer these days. 

Work is going OK. I’m lost technically. The sales part is no problem. For a guy who continues to reassure me he is no micromanager, my boss seems to do a lot of micromanaging. I’d like to think it is because I’m a new guy, but I’m not convinced. 

I finished watching the Mad Men series last weekend. I’m sorry to see it end. So it goes. I’ve been reading a lot in the evenings. Lately I have been re-reading some old Louis L’Amour westerns. I can knock one off in an evening or two if I work hard. I have forgotten how much I like his work. Some of the later books got a little preachy. They are certainly formulaic, but he could write. 

I believe I have related the tale of my first western here. It was a L’Amour book, Tucker. My grandpa had just finished it and gave it to me to read. That must have been around 1975 or 1976. It wasn’t long before he died that he gave it to me. Thirteen year-old me was hooked. At one point I owned every book L’Amour ever wrote. I got rid of them back in the moving/can’t see to read/pre-cornea transplant book sell off. Except Tucker. That worn and frayed paperback I still own. 

Released in 1971 (changing subjects now) Led Zeppelin IV was the band’s most successful album. Featuring the epic Stairway to Heaven, it was a commercial success. Critics finally came to love it too. It has sold over 37 million copies worldwide. 




I’ve said it repeatedly, 1971 was a great year for music.

September 17, 2021

The post Labor Day holiday roll out

Remember when we used to complain about Christmas creep, when the decorations and hype started before Thanksgiving? Then things rolled to the day after Halloween. Boy, did we whine.
Behold:
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Christmas displays are going up at my local Lowe’s. I snapped this photo yesterday evening. 

I don’t know why I care. I can purchase holiday stuff in mid-September or not, it is up to me. If you want to, go ahead. It is a sorta free country. 

Hey, here is a completely unrelated parting question. If it is so important to get everybody the jab, why didn’t Joe* insist that postal workers and everyone on government assistance be injected. Why go after working people? 

I’m asking for a friend.

September 14, 2021

Not a good day

 The little one, my two year old granddaughter just was diagnosed with COVID. So far she is moderately sick. The wife, her parents, and sister so far have tested negative. Keep your fingers crossed. 

A little prayer for her rapid recovery would be nice, if you are so inclined. 

If This is true, General Miley should be fired and brought up on charges. Period. 

This is what treason looks like. 

Seriously, this is not materially different than what Benedict Arnold did and he is America’s most famous traitor. This is just sickening.

September 13, 2021

The post was done for six minutes before I came up with a title that isn’t a title at all

The Colts looked like a team that had not played their starters in preseason yesterday. They were not the only team to fail to toe the mark yesterday. A couple of Super Bowl favorites also fell on opening weekend. Ah, sportsball, the little things that make us happy and sad. My other team, the Cubs, lost all weekend. Of course they did.

I BBQed some chicken breasts on the grill for Sunday supper. I made some macaroni salad, deviled eggs, and baked beans to round out the meal. My iced tea was unsweetened. The wife made up for it by adding lots of sugar to hers. I made sure my blood sugar levels were elevated by having a slice of store bought raspberry pie for desert/snack.

The eldest granddaughter came over in the afternoon to “help” the wife bake a birthday cake for our daughter/her mother. The put together a four layer multi-colored extravaganza. Now we have to keep it together until the Tuesday birthday. 

I’m off to work. Office time in the morning, on the road with the boss this afternoon. 

Look at that, a boring post for a boring Monday.

Have a good one, amigos.

September 12, 2021

We all know Quake was crap

I was standing in the kitchen this morning staring at the Keurig, waiting on my coffee. My brain was on full auto. Things were zipping around my cranium like shaking marbles in a can. But I wasn’t really thinking. I don’t know how long I stood there in a haze before I realized coffee wasn’t coming. I looked at the machine. That little blue light was screaming silently for water. I shook off that far-away look and feeling and put the reservoir under the tap. Ah, now there was coffee. 

I absentmindedly chewed a piece of red licorice. Yeah, probably not the breakfast my doctor envisioned. 

Darkness is lingering a little longer each morning. Despite today’s expected 90 degree weather, fall is nearly upon us. Football starts in earnest today. A few leaves on the trees are quitting early and dropping. The summer flowers on the porch are losing their luster. Except for that one day lily out back that inexplicably keeps pumping out solitary blooms. Soon the wife will be dragging out her fall decorations and talking about pumpkins and mums replacing the pots of geraniums. 

I think I’ll grab some milk and cereal and have a real breakfast.


I wish it was Quisp. I’ll settle for some frosted Mini Wheats instead. 

September 11, 2021

Never Forget

It is mind boggling to think there are kids in college today that do not remember the tragic, horrific events of 9/11. For most Americans it seems like yesterday. 

You don’t need me to go into a long discourse on the events of that sunny morning. Evil descended upon our nation. Our lives have never been the same.

Pray for the families who lost loved ones. Pray for the responders who risked all. 

Never forget.

Spencer Platt/Getty Images


September 10, 2021

On the Road Again

It’s been a long week, yet satisfying. I was on the road again. It has been a long time. Granted, I was traveling with my boss, but I still was on the highways and byways of southern Indiana and northern Kentucky. 

I travel some with my boss and some by myself next week. 

I’m not crazy about the office days, but that’s life. I have plenty to learn and plenty to do in the office preparing for upcoming visits etc. 

Traffic to and from the office sucks, but it isn’t my gas. 

In other news, my foot still hurts some and is plenty swollen by evening. I’m not sure what is going on with that. I go back to the doctor in a few weeks, we will monitor the situation until then. In the meantime I have received the arch supports he recommended. I’ll get those in my shoes this weekend. I suspect I won’t care much for them. 

Sorry about the lack of posting.  Life happens.

On the political front. Biden says everyone must get a shot. What happened to my body my choice, the Democrat mantra?  I guess that only applies to killing babies but not other stuff.

Before you go off, I have the shot. I’m comfortable with my decision, 

September 7, 2021

You have a dirty mind

An American rich man had bad luck with women and finally decided to find a mail order bride from Russia. She arrived a few weeks after they scheduled his order online, they got married and lived happily in a rich town in Connecticut.

Though the poor lady was not very proficient in English, she did manage to communicate with her husband with gestures mostly. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn’t know how to put forward her request and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.

The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn’t know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts! The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.

The third day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store…



Now get your head out of the gutter. Her husband speaks English.

September 6, 2021

I just want to celebrate

Here we are on Labor Day, that union-inspired holiday where we celebrate our hard work by taking the day off. I can live with it. We are off today to celebrate at an end of summer pool party and cookout. A fine pork shoulder will be thrown on the smoker while we laugh and swim and have a beer or three to enjoy life, summer, and God’s glory. 

To make time for the festivities this afternoon, I mowed the yard yesterday. I trimmed the bushes out front.  I repaired the broken shelving in the wife’s closet. I watched several episodes of Mad Men. I even went to the store with the wife to stock up on groceries. 

You can get a lot done when you get up at 4:30 AM. 


September 5, 2021

You outta be truthin’

I have, on occasion, resorted to hyperbole. Yes, Dear Readers, you have said at least 1,137,000 times that I occasionally exaggerate. I know it is true. But believe me, the picture I shared of my foot yesterday was true and unadulterated. No photoshop. No trick angles like the one with the urban rattlesnake. The only thing modified from the X-Ray was I cropped it to remove my  personal information. I really have the equivalent of a deck screw in my foot. 

Yesterday was a damp and gloomy day. We occupied ourselves by buying some needed stuff, including a trip to Walmart. As far as projects, make that score Joe 1, projects 0. So it goes. I did watch some episodes of Mad Men. There is that. I was unsuccessful at getting the wife to do naked wrestling. I wasn’t surprised. It is supposed to be sunny today. I will get the lawn cut. 

Since the theme of the weekend is my ability to walk, let’s use that as an excuse to play some Boots.


You may have your own opinion, but I vote for the brunette in the olive green top. I have no evidence, but I always felt like after take 16, the director told Nancy to forget trying to dance with the other chicks and to just sway. But you have to dig the tune. Timeless.

September 4, 2021

These boots were made for walkin’, so I walk the line

Actual screenshot of my post-surgery X-Ray
Actual screenshot of my post-surgery x-ray
I’m free. 

I went to the surgeon Tuesday. My foot is well on the way to healed. Hooray. No boot. No crutches, no scooter! I can put my weight on the foot, I can walk!

I can walk slowly. I have a slight limp. By the end of the day I have swelling. But…who cares? That will get better in time.

Now I just have to get after the projects that have gone untended over the past 12 weeks of the air cast and crutches. My wife is thrilled I can now cut the grass. 

This new-found freedom means I have a busy weekend in front of me. I can live with that.

But I can walk again!


I can’t believe I forgot to tell you this big news.




September 2, 2021

Big old learning curve

I’m staggeringly ignorant about my new job. In no way can I be trusted to visit customers on my own. That notion leaves me more than a little overwhelmed. 

I’ve been to visit several customers with my boss the past few days. That is great. My lack of knowledge isn’t. 

When I took a job in the corrugated industry (read cardboard) a few years ago I picked that up fast. When I sold cold forgings, I learned that easily too. Of course, I sold widgets (OK, bearings) for more than 20 years before that for several different companies. That was a breeze. Here, there are so many products I’m just lost. Plus I’m now working distribution as opposed to selling OEM parts. That’s different too.

But it still beats working at the big box home improvement store.

September 1, 2021

An inspiring story

 Every morning, the CEO of a major bank in Manhattan went to the corner where a shoeshine man was always there. He used to sit on the chair, read the Wall Street Journal, and the humble shoeshine man gave his shoes a shiny, great look.

One morning, the shoeshine man asks the CEO: What do you think of the stock market situation?

The Director arrogantly asks him: Why are you so interested in this subject?

The shoeshine man replies: I have a million dollars invested in your bank and I am thinking about investing part of the money in the stock market.

The CEO of the bank asks: What is your name?

He replies: John Smith H.

The Director arrives at the bank and asks the Manager of the Major Accounts Department: Do we have a customer named John Smith H.?

The Customer Service Manager for Major Accounts replies: We certainly do, Sir! He is an extremely esteemed customer! He has a million dollars in his account.

The CEO leaves the bank, approaches the shoeshine boy, and says: Mr. Smith, I would like to invite you to be our guest of honor at our board meeting next Monday and tell us your life story. I’m sure we will have a lot to learn from you.

At the board meeting, the CEO introduces him to the board members:

We all know Mr. Smith, who makes our shoes shine like no one else. But Mr. Smith is also our valued customer, with a million dollars in his account. I invited him to tell us the story of his life. I’m sure we can learn a lot from him. Please, Mr. Smith, tell us your life story.

Then, Mr. Smith began to narrate his story:
I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Europe and with a weird and unpronounceable name. I left the ship penniless in my pocket. The first thing I did was to change my name to Smith. I was hungry and exhausted. I started to wander in search for a job, but without success. Suddenly, I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought some apples. Eat the apples and quench my hunger or start a business.

I sold the apples for 50 cents and bought more apples with the money. When I started accumulating dollars, I managed to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polishes and started cleaning shoes. I didn’t spend a dime on fun or clothes. I only bought bread and cheese to survive. I saved penny by penny and after a while I bought a new set of brushes and shoe polishes in different shades and colors and increased my clientele.

I lived like a monk and saved a penny after penny.

After a while, I managed to buy a chair so that my customers could sit comfortably while I cleaned their shoes, which brought me more customers.

I didn’t spend a dime on the pleasures of life. I kept saving every penny. A few years ago, when the corner shoeshine colleague decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his point, which was a better place than mine.

Finally, three months ago, my sister, who was a whore in Chicago, passed away and left me a million dollars….


August 31, 2021

Simply Appalling

 The US has tucked its tail and sprinted out of Afghanistan. Our erstwhile SecState was bragging that we managed things great, only leaving a few hundred Americans behind. 

He advised them to hunker down, shelter in place, and make their way to the airport whenever commercial flights resume.

Seriously.

After Vietnam a whole industry existed regarding rescuing the handful of POWs the Commies did or did not release.

I guess we are going to have to call Rambo out of the VA retirement home to go get the Americans Biden left behind.

That queasy feeling in my gut isn’t from the chicken enchiladas with salsa verde I had for supper last night.

August 29, 2021

Trying on new stripes in the department store fitting room

I’m up early on this fine Sunday morning because reasons. No, I don’t know those reasons. Just because, I guess. I woke at 4:00 on the nose. I finally gave up on going back to sleep at 4:30 or so, and — ta da — here we are. 

To be precise, here I am. You will enter the picture at some further point in time. It may be minutes after I publish. It may be later today. It might be next week or month or next year. It could be decades in the future, provided President for Life AOC hasn’t declared me persona non grata and had all traces of me and this blog erased for badthink. Nothing would surprise me. 

It could be future me will repudiate every word I’ve written over the past 57 years at this blog after pain and torture at the re-education camp. 

I might change my opinions on my own.

In my training  at Big Insurance we did an analysis of personality types, so we could sell to the customer in a way they could relate. As such, we had to take a test of our own personality. They called it something else in Big Insurance training, but behold, I was the Type A-iest of Type A personalities in the class. By a wide margin. That may or may not surprise you.

What you might not know, is as a youth and even in college I was pretty shy. I had no issues giving a speech or even being in a play, but generally I was insecure and terrified around strangers in one on one situations,  especially girls. And even later, I had a problem picking up the phone and calling people. 

I got over it. I became the strong personality you have come to love and admire in these pages.

In the same fashion I could throw away all common sense, historical perspective, economic  understanding, lack of hypocrisy, and reasoning altogether and become a Democrat. 

Yeah, probably not.

August 28, 2021

Your Love is Fadin’

It is Saturday. Woot. It is going to be a hot one. Thank goodness our friends have invited us to soak in their pool this afternoon . It is good to have friends with nice things. I plan to get in for the first time in a while. It has been six weeks. I think my incision is healed.

My new boss dropped off my new company car truck yesterday. It has the company logo painted down the sides and on the hood like a NASCAR racer, but I’m not complaining. ‘Cause free F150. I’m ready to start Monday. It’s been a long time coming.

I’m not going to go on a political rant today. The incompetence is evident for all to see. My blood pressure doesn’t need it. Plus I’m in a good mood. I’m pretty sure my buddy and I will solve America’s problems over a beer and cigar this afternoon. 

1971’s Maggie May deservedly gets the love from critics and Rod Stewart fans. I’m no exception. Yet who can deny the power of Stewart and the Faces from their cover of (I know) I’m losing you? From the same 1971 album Every Picture Tells a Story:


Have a great Saturday.

August 27, 2021

Is anyone in charge?

Wait, we gave a list of our collaborators to the Taliban? Are you F-ing kidding me?

How did that go? Uh, Mr. Terrorist, please don’t kill our people as they try to get to the airport. 

Taliban: how do we know what people to not kill? 

State Department: how about we give you a list?

Taliban:  uh, OK. (Stifles guffaws)

Crap on a cracker, who’s in charge of this shit show? We give up Billions of dollars of arms and equipment, not even bothering trying to destroy it. Then we let them dictate terms. Finally, we give them a convenient kill list?

Do we need to check the emails to make sure we aren’t giving the treasury PIN number to a Nigerian Princess? 

I had to worry about my elderly mom and dad falling to scams. I never thought the senile old fart in the White House would be so gullible.

Biden says we are gonna get those terrorists who bombed the airport yesterday. With what, and who is going to do it? 

We are pulling out pronto. Does he think anyone is going to help us? After we left them swinging in the wind? 

Biden really has been wrong about every foreign policy decision in the last fifty years.

August 26, 2021

Dodging the speed bumps on memory lane

Yesterday we were reminiscing about the old days when we didn’t have air conditioning.

Remember when white people sometimes were in commercials?

August 25, 2021

That queasy feeling

Charlie Watts, the great drummer from The Rolling Stones has passed. The musicians from my youth are dying off. 

The heat wave continues. Heat index temps will top 100 again today and are expected to continue through the weekend. It is August. Hot temperatures should be expected. At least it isn’t like when I was a kid, we didn’t have air conditioning. We just sucked it up. Now I have AC. My electric bill is going to be ugly. 

I finally get those who say they are embarrassed by their country. I’m sure embarrassed by this administration. We are being run out of Afghanistan with our tails between our legs by dudes in Toyota pickup trucks. The President thinks this is great. The rest of the World, especially China, just laughs at us. I’m glad Biden is bringing American respectability back to the world stage. At least he doesn’t tweet mean stuff. 

I don’t possess the vocabulary to adequately express my anger and disgust. 

If Trump did this the Dems would already be having impeachment hearings. Now, they are more interested in spending trillions on Green New Deal boondoggles. Afghanistan and the spending bills reflect typical Democratic Party half-thought policies. Do it half-assed and depend on magic to fix the myriad problems the policy causes. No big deal — it is just American lives at stake. 

Spit.

August 24, 2021

Cockpit Chatter

 A jumbo jet is on its final approach coming in to Toronto Airport. The pilot comes on the intercom.

“This is your Captain speaking. We’re on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto”.

He forgot to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The co-pilot says to the pilot, “Well, skipper, what you gonna do in Toronto?”

“Well,” says the skipper, “first I’m gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap … then I’m gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner….. then I’m gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and give it to her big-time all night.”

Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle trying to get a look at the new stewardess. Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She’s so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off.

Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady’s bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: “No need to hurry, dear. He’s gotta use the bathroom first.”

August 23, 2021

A Monday full of complaints.

My garden has been a disappointment this year. The rabbits ate the first fruits. Then it rained. A lot. Too much. Then it got cold. Very cold for summer. Then came the drought. We got maybe 0.25 inches of rain in July. Now the ‘maters have stalled. The bell pepper just blooms. The cucumbers are white. The jalapeƱo has put out 10 or 12 nice tasty peppers, but that is it. I still have a dozen or more golf ball-sized green tomatoes. Same as I had a few weeks ago. 

Others have the same complaints. Gardens are bad this year. 

I could just say a quick “so it goes”. I could just blame it on climate change, ignoring the notion that increased warmth and CO2 is good for plant growth. Hey, let’s not let science get in the way of hysteria. Who knows. I’m on the verge of just foregoing the watering and telling the recalcitrant tomatoes they are on their own. Put out or else. 

I sat helpless in the air conditioning yesterday as the wife mowed, pulled weeds, and cleaned off the patio in blistering heat. I clumped out on my crutches a few times to offer non-existent help. Each time I hobbled back inside to the cool air. It was too hot for moral support. 

I’m going to drop a roast in the crockpot for supper. I can manage that.


August 22, 2021

Sunday Morning Coming Down

Sunday. The littlest granddaughter spent the night. I hear her stirring in her bed, always slow to get awake.  My coffee steams beside me as I type away on my iPad while perched on an end of our broken down couch. I wish I could go for a walk. 

About another week and I can get back to training for the next Olympics and a new season of American Ninja Warrior. OK, maybe just walking. I can’t wait to shed these crutches and knee scooter. I don’t even care about wearing the boot anymore. The doctor is going to have to have a really compelling reason for me to remain immobile. A very good reason. 

In other news, I have none.

Enjoy your Sunday.

Edit Why Joe, what raciiiist foods did you fix the little one for breakfast?

One of the last boxes in existence of the most horrible racist THING ever

It is gone. The empty box trashed. No one needs cower in fear any longer. Except for the Mrs. Butterworth syrup I dumped on top of my stack. That is still triggering people from my pantry. 

August 21, 2021

It is a game show

Now the Wokabees have come for the game show hosts. For some it was inexcusable that a non-POC was chosen to host Jeopardy. So in retaliation they poked and prodded until some dirt was found from the new host’s past and forced him to give up the gig. 

Richards wasn’t my first choice, but I was able to put things in perspective. It is a half hour game show on television. It really makes no difference in my life who hosts it. I will watch or not watch. Whatever. 

I’m not sure I want to live in a society that is totally unforgiving. Where we are all subject to purity tests we are doomed to fail. 

It is time corporate America stood up to the chattering mob. The Twitter universe is not the real public. How many of the perpetually outraged watched Jeopardy anyway? 

I have said and written plenty that I regret. I like to think I’ve grown over time. I prefer to believe we can be forgiven for our sins. What is hope without redemption? 

We need to quit holding people to impossible standards we couldn’t meet ourselves. 

August 20, 2021

Olly Olly Oxen Free

Come out of hiding, Joe.

Were I a leader in South Korea or Taiwan, or even A NATO ally in Europe I would be looking to my own defenses. If you think the Biden Administration is going to save you, look no further than the latest headlines. Hey, Biden was part of the team that brought us Benghazi, remember? He didn’t want to go after Bin Laden either. 

Now, in true fashion he has run off to hide, hoping his lapdog press will just let all this go away if he waits it out. He is probably right.

But at least we don’t have mean tweets to worry about. 

August 19, 2021

Men without honor

The fact that General Miley and SecDef Austin are still employed says everything you need to know about Sleepy Joe’s weakness as president. Honorable men would resign. Weak men wait to be fired. Simps refuse to fire their employees for complete failure like the debacle in Afghanistan. 

If Biden doesn’t fire them it means he agrees with their performance. That says tons about him as an executive.

Even Jimmah Carter thinks the President looks weak. 

This is not about politics. If the Pentagon didn’t correctly predict that the Afghan government would fall in days, then they should be fired. If they didn’t have a just-in-case scenario in place, they should be fired.  If we leave ANY Americans behind, they should be tried for dereliction of duty. This…blunder…has left America as weak politically as we were in 1975. It took a decade to rebuild our military then. How long will it take now? 

But hey, our 455th Transvestite POC Battalion looks spiffy in their berets and matching rainbow tunics. 

August 18, 2021

Things that make you say “hmmm”

It’s funny how things work. I took the car over to the tire store across the highway to get a leaky left rear fixed. $26 or so later I was on my way home. They said everything looked great. I found that strange since the dealership insisted when I was in there a couple of months ago my tires were shot — dangerously so. 

That proclamation instigated a most difficult conversation from me since I was promised by the lying salesman the Escape had new tires when we bought it in November. Oh, and I needed new brakes too. At thirty thousand miles. After much discussion and semi-unpleasantness (but no raising of voices) I got the brake job done gratis. I was presented a quote of nearly $900 for tires. I said I’d think on it. 

Somehow, a store whose very existence depends on replacing tires thought my tires looked fine. The dealership said failure was imminent.

My initial response to the dealer service department remains confirmed. I’ll never buy a car from them again. Either they are incompetent or they are crooks. There is no other option. 

I doubt I’ll even take it back to the dealer for the next oil change. 

August 17, 2021

Love and marriage

 Fred and Mary got married, but can’t afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred’s parent’s home for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred’s little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, “No”.
Johnny asks, “Do you know what I think?”
His mom replies, “I don’t want to hear what you think! Just go to school.”
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, “Are Fred and Mary up yet?”
She replies, “No.”
Johnny says, “Do you know what I think?”
His mom replies, “Never mind what you think!
Eat your lunch and go back to school.”
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, “Are Fred and Mary up yet?”
His mom says “No.”
He asks, “Do you know what I think?”
His Mom replies, “Ok, do tell me what you think?”
He says: “Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.”

August 15, 2021

What a waste

 In the coming days we will be flying the last of the Americans from Afghanistan, reminiscent Saigon circa 1975 style.  The Taliban will again be in charge. 

What did we get for our twenty year mission? How many lives were lost and destroyed? How much treasure did we take from the wallets of taxpayers, current and future? What did we accomplish? Much like our nearly two decade involvement in SE Asia, it seems all for naught. 

I suppose we can take solace in the idea that unlike the British we didn’t spend a century plus trying to tame that region. 

Edit:



August 14, 2021

Partying on Martha’s Vinyard with the Obama

I cannot believe I am still struggling to write the music post I started last Saturday. That is crazy for me. I’ve told you before, most of my posts are extemporaneous. Perhaps even impromptu. I sit down and write. The notion that I have worked on a post on and off for a week leaves me baffled. The problem is to do it right will fill a college blue book. We are talking mid-term paper effort. Frankly, I don’t want to put in that much work and anything else just won’t do the topic justice. 

The end result is the post will join the growing pile of draft post, hidden from electronic sunlight until my heirs publish them in an endless series of “lost works” anthologies after my famous self has returned to dust, like the cash-hungry heirs of Jimi Hendrix and Louis L’Amour have done. Seriously, how many times can you repackage the same old material and pass it off as something new? I see my family digging up the unpublished stuff cluttering the electronic draft folder, fading in old spiral notebooks, and on yellowing sheets of scrap paper. The public will no doubt demand it. 

What? Rest assured, I am confident my genius is going to be recognized and rewarded in my lifetime. The day is coming when I will be named by acclamation as Supreme Ruler and Potentate of all the Land, Water, and Atmosphere, Arbiter of all Things, and All Around Great Guy. This blog will be all the evidence needed to show people how to think, live, and behave. 

You are welcome. And if you stick around long enough you might even get to see the unrequited efforts hidden in the unpublished draft category. 

Oh, I got a new job. Back on the road. Outside sales. Not where I was financially. Above where I am. 

You really should always read through to the end of my bullshit.

Have a great Saturday.

August 11, 2021

Building to a crescendo



Red Light

 Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. Cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought, “I must be losing my mind. I swear we just went through a red light.”

A few minutes later, they came to another intersection, and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. This time, the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was mistaken. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the next intersection to see what was going on.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red, and yet they went right through. She turned to the woman driving and said, “Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!”

Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, am I driving?”

August 10, 2021

Crap, I published yet another post without a title, but I fixed it now (sorta)

Lightning is flashing and thunder is rumbling to the south and east as I hunt and peck on the little iPad keyboard. According to the weather app, a thunderstorm cell is just a few miles away towards Indy, but it looks like it will miss me. Mostly.

I’m up early. Stuff on my mind. Plus I must have flexed my toes on my right foot in my sleep because a jolt of mild pain in my foot woke me up. Then, because I’m old and a man, I had to pee. By the time I grabbed the crutches and finally got to the bathroom, etc., I just stayed up. 

I’ve not watched a Cubs game since the big sell off. Big deal you mutter. I usually watch around 125-130 of the 162 game regular schedule. Yes, I watch a lot of baseball. I haven’t really even followed the daily box scores much. Ive done that since I was about eight or nine when I started doing it as I read the daily newspaper. I’ll get over it. It’s just going to take a couple of minutes.

I may have some big news to report later. You should probably check back often. Ten or twelve times today seems about right. You do that and I’ll get 45 or 50 hits today! 

In other news, I remember now why I hated second shift back when I worked it in 1986 or so. You get home too late and you go in too early to get anything done. My current 12:30-900 schedule really chops up the day. I feel like I haven’t had a decent meal in weeks. But paycheck.

The Republicans Charlie Browns are about to get Lucy’d with the “infrastructure “ football yet again. For supposed “career” politicians they are sure bad at politics. Oh, and don’t worry Senator Todd Young, we will not forget your role in bringing this boondoggle to the floor, even if you vote against it now. Too late. You should have studied what happened to Evan Bayh and Dick Luger when they betrayed their conservative Hoosier voters, you Rino turd.

Have a great Tuesday, amigos.

August 8, 2021

I am you and what I see is me

Sorry. I’m working on what is turning out to be a more difficult and lengthy post than I’d originally thought. Oh, it is nothing of earth shattering weightiness, just a discussion of music, but actual research needs to be done. To provide the background info may mean the post could turn into a series of posts and I’m not convinced either of us cares that much. 

August 7, 2021

Behind the curtain

I threw a very small ham steak in the skillet while I chopped a jalapeƱo from my garden into tiny bits. I stirred three eggs with the peppers and added some small bacon pieces from a jar. The real kind, not the artificial bacon bits. I flipped the ham and dropped it on my plate. I threw a little butter in the hot ham skillet and when it was melted and foamy I poured in the eggs. After a quick scramble I plated the eggs with the ham, sprinkled a little shredded co-jack cheese on top of the eggs and hobbled over to the table. The coffee was hot, the glass of milk was cold and breakfast was fit for a king. 

My kitchen is not large. The sink is on one wall with the stove, pantry, and refrigerator opposite. The right wall is cabinets and counter. The left is open to the family room and small eating area. The dining room we don’t use is behind the right wall. Luckily, there’s an island in the middle. Things are spaced just right where I can use the counters and island as sort of permanent crutches, where I swing around from sink to stove to island prep without too much trouble. Still, I’m hopping and swinging around on one leg. I can just reach the breakfast table from the island. 

I cleaned the mess. I balanced precariously on one leg as I loaded the dishwasher. Sated, tired, and done I grabbed my coffee, mounted my knee scooter and rolled over to the couch. 

I picked up my iPad and started typing. “I threw a very small ham steak in the skillet...”. 

August 5, 2021

Wise wisdom

Arguing with a woman is like buying a lottery ticket. You know you're not gonna win, but you're sure as hell gonna try.

August 4, 2021

Shut up Karen

Get vaccinated. Don’t. Your choice.

Don't expect me to mask up to protect you from yourself. 

Don’t expect me to believe the Biden* Administration really cares about protecting the American people when they let tens of thousands of illegals cross the border with no concern at all if they are a Covid infected or not. 

It’s all a Hypocrisy Theater for the gullible Karens who need something to fill their boring lives. 

August 3, 2021

Random Randy

 Randy was in the hospital for a complete check-up.

At 11:00AM, they brought him soup for lunch. He refused it.
At 2:00PM, they again tried to serve him some soup, which he refused.
Again, at 5:00PM and 7:00PM, they tried, and both times Randy turned down the soup, so they gave up.
In preparation for the next day’s test, they entered his room at 3:00AM4:30AM, and 6:00AM and gave him an enema each time.
When Randy got home from the hospital after the tests, he told his wife, “Whatever you do, if you go to that hospital and they try to serve you soup, take it!
If you refuse it, they sneak in while you’re asleep and shove it up your ass!

August 2, 2021

upteenth update

I had my surgical follow up this morning. Everything seems to be healing nicely. The stitches were removed. I can now put up to fifty pounds of weight on my foot, as long as I have the boot on. So what, you say? That  helps me balance in the bathroom and as I get up to my crutches at the top of the stairs, etc. It will be a great help every time I transition from sitting to standing. In a pinch, I might be able to drive! 

In other news, I have nuthin’. Kim duToit has a very nice post this morning that pretty much sums up why my political rants are more infrequent these days. I am not sure if you want more politics from me or not. 

Have a great Monday. I have insurance bureaucrats to yell at. 

August 1, 2021

A bloke named Smokey

My brain skews a certain way, and usually it is the interpretation of a 13 year old. It is just the way it is. For instance I noticed a vanity plate on a vehicle in front of me the other day. I see stuff ‘cause I ain’t driving. How would you interpret this plate?

HDR PLS

Don’t let my potential juvenile translation color your answer. Let me note it was on a light blue minivan. What do you see?

We went and bought me some new work pants yesterday. It has been a long time since  I had to dress in business casual every day and three pairs of good pants weren’t cutting it. The wife had some good coupons for Kohl’s and the pants were on sale. 

I haven’t posted any music for a while. This was bouncing around in my head this morning. I know I said I would feature tunes from ‘71, but it is my blog until it’s not, so...


How about this version featuring the sexy Ms Boop?



Have a great Sunday


July 31, 2021

if you want to get down, down on the ground

Saturday morning;  ablutions done, prayers offered, coffee brewed, I’m ready for the day. As I plopped on the couch I realized I left my phone on the charger next to the bed. I am not up to riding the knee scooter to the stairs, backing up said stairs on my butt, hiking myself up from the floor on crutches, hobbling to the bedroom, creeping along in the dark as quiet as clunking metal crutches allow, to grab my phone. Then I would repeat this in reverse, all that effort expended just so I can get a dozen spam calls before noon. Maybe after my coffee. 

The Cubs completed their dismantling of the team yesterday. For once I’m not sure I can stomach the losses to come over the balance of the year. 

It looks like more lock downs and mask mandates are on the horizon. I reluctantly went along before. I figured it was pointless, but couldn’t hurt. This time I will not be so cooperative. 

It seems Big Box home improvement failed to code my claim correctly in June. They approved my leave, but didn’t put me in for short term disability. I don’t understand, since the first words out of my mouth when I finally got through the multitudes of phone trees was “I want to file for short term disability “. Now they text me I have to get more forms filled out from my doctor.* So Monday, my insurance company and I will have an ugly conversation. They can see I have a broken foot that had to be repaired surgically from the useless FLA leave they approved. In the meantime I haven’t been paid for a month. To say I’m pissed would be an understatement. I won’t win over the bureaucracy, but I will make a pain of myself in the interim. So far, I can’t even get a supervisor to call me back. 

I know I’ve started a new job, but they owe me three weeks of pay. 

I know you feel bad for me. If you loved me you would fry up some bacon and over easy eggs. That would mollify my angst. 

That’s what I thought. 

Oh well, have a great Saturday. I plan on it.


*see previous post on this bureaucratic nightmare.

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