November 30, 2008


I m searching in vain among my DVD collection for a movie that will offer some comic relief for the mess that is my current life. There is no need to go into details, let us just say Murphy has taken up full time residence at my abode. That isn't a monkey on my back but a stinky hairy silverback Fosse-humpin gorilla right out of the mist. I know, my problems are small compared to others, but it is my party and I'll cry all I friggin' want.

It is pouring rain right now, with a promise of snow by this afternoon. The oldest kids returned to their respective institutions of higher learning last evening, so I need not worry about them driving in slick conditions. It was nice having everyone at home, even for a few days.

The tree is up and the wife is working on getting her various decorations in place. I pulled out the outside lights and found that 11 of the 12 strings needed are out. Not completely out, each has a section that will not come on. Past experience taught me there is little use in finding the cause, they will only go out again after you get them on the roof -- usually at the highest point. I did a quick check on each for missing or broken bulbs to no avail. I am always prepared to replace one or two strings, but I am not sure I am in a position to drop $80 bucks at WalMart for a complete replacement.

I am sick of trying to come up with interesting, attention grabbing titles for these crappy posts. I think I will start calling them bu the day of the week, or just the number. Perhaps I will call all of them "untitled".

Have a good Sunday, watch some football and remember to thank God for another day of life.

November 29, 2008

Weekend Funny

Men, here are the keys to happy life:

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home,
who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust
and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed
and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women
do not know each other.

November 27, 2008

Happy Turkey Day

Happy Thanksgiving.

Why are you here. Go eat.

I am sorry if you are a Lions Fan. I bet your day will suck...

November 26, 2008

I do not have the energy

Over the past few years we have seen numerous reports that the power grid in this country is antiquated. We are just waiting for the next major power outage. Every summer we see reports of brown-outs. As far as I know nothing has changed. No major nuclear plants have been built. I cannot remember the last time I read about a new hydroelectric power station. Obama says there will be no new coal plants built and that if the power companies try he will bankrupt them with regulations and law suits. Bidden says we should get rid of all coal powered power plants. Since coal provides roughly fifty percent of our electricity, that will be a tough road. I would guess our energy and electrical issues are only going to increase in the next four to eight years.

As I understand it, moving the US to energy-efficient electric cars is a major initiative of the new administration. If we already have energy issues, how will adding millions of electric cars help?

Has anyone thought this through?

I don't have a title, get over it

I just got back from the gas station. Can you believe $1.55/gallon the day before Thanksgiving? I can live with that.

I put up the Christmas Tree last night. The effing thing is 8-1/2 feet tall and of course half the lights did not work, so I had to make a trip to WalMart. I will probably do the outside lights Friday, if it is not too friggin cold. I love Christmas, but the decorating is becoming a royal pain. The things we do for our family.

The entire family ate supper together last night -- all five of us -- as the two oldest are home from college for Thanksgiving break. I cannot remember the last time that happened, maybe in June for the wife's birthday. There were no fights or arguments.

The wife just called while I was typing this. The ^#$@(* check engine light just came on again in the Durango. Yep, the one they supposedly fixed on Monday. I guess it is back to the shop later today.

There is plenty more pissing me off already this morning, but I am trying to be positive. I am positive this has the makings of a crappy day.

Stay tuned.

November 25, 2008

I be stoopid

I may have a less-than-intelligent looking face. At times I may sound a bit hickish when I talk. My spelling is not perfect. Yet, in all, I consider myself reasonably intelligent.

One of my larger customers must not agree. They have presented me with a proposed long-term agreement that only an idiot would sign. At least 50% of the provisions are so one-sided I can imagine no one would agree to them. The customer wants long-term sourcing and pricing, including me holding large amounts of inventory. He will give us his business unless he finds the parts cheaper somewhere else, then all bets are off. I must give guaranteed price reductions, but if any end user has a warranty claim, justified or not, I am expected to pay for all parts, labor, shipping, travel, etc. And he wants longer payment terms. In addition I must promise to give him the lowest price I sell my product, even if another customer buys ten times more of the same widget.

In summary, I give the customer the best price, assume all risk, promise to reduce prices, and he can leave at any time. Does that sound like a good deal?

I have not even given it to our company lawyers yet who will rip it further I am sure. Win-win my ass. I say jack the price and tell them to take it or leave it.

November 24, 2008

Just a little pain

I just returned from the car repair place. The check engine light was on. It looks like a couple of worn hoses were causing vacuum issues. Adding in a needed oil change I should get off pretty cheaply. I expected something worse given the number of miles on the vehicle. Of course they had to order one of the hoses, so it will not be ready until this afternoon.

A nice old guy who works part time doing such things for the dealership brought me home.

Mundane Monday

Wow what a weekend for football! I was up late watching the Colts defeat the evil Chargers, so I am tired but happy. The bears win, the Colts win and all is right in my world. Too bad the Patriots won, but one cannot get everything in life.

It looks like we are picking up speed as we hurtle down the slide of socialism. The seat of my pants is starting to get warm as we toss more money at CitGroup this time. I am sure the Big Three are next. Just think, Obama is not even in office yet.

I am off to work. There may be updates later, you should check back every fifteen minutes or so, just to be sure.

November 23, 2008

Catching Up

Sorry if it has been a while since I perused your blog. This has been a hectic week. I hope to read about your thoughts and life in the coming days. It is not that I do not love you anymore, my need to keep earning a paycheck overrides my desire to read your blog.

November 22, 2008


Some old buddies showed up between 3:30 and 4:00 this morning -- Insomnia and his cousin indigestion. Irritability came knocking not long after.

I suggest you do not screw with me today.

November 21, 2008

Who am I?

I am the daughter of a famous American Actor. I was raised in wealth and privilege. I decided the country that provided me the opportunity to also grow wealthy was a poor comparison to a totalitarian Government hell-bent on destroying freedom.

I decided to become a traitorous bitch, and went so far as to actually give aid and comfort to my country's enemies, in a time if war. I turned in POWs who tried to get me messages, resulting in punishment for my countrymen. I am lucky I was not charged with treason. I should have been.

I am Jane Fonda and I am anathema and hated by all Americans (or I should be). What I did went beyond free speech and protest to actual treason.

For Jim and GuyK and James and every other Vietnam-era Vet.

Hoosierboy Jeopardy

The answer is;

Ouga Chaka ouga! Ouga Chaka ouga! ....

Discuss among yourselves.

Travelling all week. More today. It sucks to be me (but at least it is not snowing, eh Freddie?).

I would like to say I had more to offer, but I have to get going.

I sure need the Holidays next week to rest up. I bet the wife has other plans in mind.

November 19, 2008

Who am I?

I was born in Glasgow on October 20, 1792. My uncle, a colonel, convinced the Duke of York to commission me an ensign in the 9th Foot in 1808. I served with distinction in the Peninsular War. I was twice wounded. For my efforts I was promoted to Captain and sent to the 60th Rifles. I spent the next thirty years in various posts finally becoming a colonel. I served in various regiments including the 9th and the 98th. It was with the 98th that I again proved an able commander during the Opium War of 1841-1843.

I waas finally promoted Brigadier General and posted to Calcutta. I led successful campaigns during the Second Sikh War. I was knighted in 1849 for my services. I was given command of the volatile Northwest Frontier until 1852.

I was given command of the Highland Brigade for the Crimean War, I led the victorious Highlanders at Varna and Alma. I commanded Balaclava during the siege in winter of 1854-1855. I commanded the reserve at the storming of the Redan in 1855. I was promoted to Lt. General and returned to England as Inspector General.

In 1857 the Sepoy Rebellion broke out and I was offered the post of Commander-in-chief of India. I relieved Cawnpore and the siege of Lucknow. By May of 1858 I had returned peace to Northern India. I was raised to peerage as Lord Clyde.

I returned in retirement to England in 1860, promoted to Field-Marshall. I died in 1863 and I am buried in Westminster Abbey.

I am Colin Campbell, Baron Clyde of Clydesdale.

Facts derived from The Wordsworth Dictionary of Military Biography.

November 18, 2008

Who am I?

I was born in Norwich Connecticut on January 14, 1741. I served with a militia unit in the French and Indian War at the age of 16. I ran a successful trading company and owned several ships, trading with Canada and the West Indies. Upon the outbreak of hostilities with England in 1775 I formed a militia company and marched to war. I joined with Ethan Allen in the successful attack on Fort Ticonderoga. I led an unsuccessful attack on Quebec City. In the retreat I formed a flotilla on Lake Champlain and beat back the pursing British. I returned a hero, but found myself passed over for promotion. Congress and jealous brother officers engineered this snub.

I was finally promoted to Major General after defeating the British at Danbury. I lifted the siege at Fort Stanwix and defeated the British again at the Battle of Freeman's Farm. I saved the day at Saratoga, receiving crippling wounds. I was finally promoted with backdated seniority. It was too little, too late.

As Commander of Philadelphia, I was accused of using my position to gain wealth and was put on charges. My hot young wife helped convince me Congress and brother officers were out to destroy me. I contacted the British to see if they needed someone with my obvious superior skills. I devised a plan to give the valuable stronghold of West Point to the British. I was nearly caught and barely escaped to the British lines. My British contact, John Andre was found with my plans of the fort and was executed as a spy.

The British would not trust me, British society shunned my wife and I. After the war I tried to regain my trading company, but none of my business partners would trust me, not even those in Canada or the West Indies. I died in June of 1801, misunderstood and a victim of jealousies everywhere. My name has become synonymous with Traitor.

My name is Benedict Arnold.

Brought to you through the Wordsworth Dictionary of Military Biography 1997 paperback edition. Purchased at the bargain Price of $2.99 several years ago.

November 17, 2008

Jumping on the bandwagon here, Boss

Bowing to the pressure from the Today Show, Fat in Indiana is now a green blog.

November 16, 2008

Depauw beats Wabash -- again

I have a long memory and I am known to hold grudges for years. It is a character flaw, but that is how things are. Forgiveness is not high on my list of traits.

Depauw University ended NCAA Div III number 2 ranked Wabash College's perfect season yesterday for the second year in a row at the annual Monon Bell game. In one of the oldest college football rivalries in the nation, these tiny schools bear a fierce hatred, especially in football. I learned to hate Depauw and all things related to the "Dannies". Today that I laugh and spit in Wabash's direction.

Like the goat curses the Cubs, I wish a curse upon the Little Giants of Wabash. May the Monon Bell never ring for Wabash until Beta Psi is returned. Call it the Delt curse if you will.

I won't be buying a Depauw sweatshirt, but I will root for them every November.

Karma is a cruel Bitch, eh President White?

On a completely unrelated note watch for me at the Colts football game today. I will be the one in the stands wearing a Colt's Jersey. Yep, a buddy scored some seats at unbelievable price.

November 15, 2008


I miss Bugs Bunny cartoons on Saturday mornings.

My Favorites were Bugs, Speedy, Pepe and the Roadrunner. The ones with the Coyote and the sheep dog always cracked me up. I really never cared much for Foghorn Leghorn.

November 14, 2008

Friday Five

Here it is a dark and gloomy Friday and I have nothing of import to share with you. This is not a new phenomenon as long-time participants in this experiment can attest. Sometimes one can spend hours in esoteric navel-gazing and still find nothing more interesting than a piece of sweater lint. I am bored with politics. The proverbial bed has been made and we are about to slumber with the bedbugs and lice and assorted other creepy-crawlies the electorate threw on the soiled sheets. So much for hope and change, the only change being the new administration will be made up of Clinton attack dogs and hard-core Democrats.

The economic issues we face are so far above my paygrade and understanding we might as well discuss quantum physics and the intricacies of subatomic theory. All I know is the gears of our industrial might are grinding together and the metal shards ground off will affect the chugging engine of commerce in bad, bad ways. It is a sad day when our choices are to watch the banking and industrial sectors of our economy fail or have them propped up through Government ownership and communistic tactics. Both choices are akin to dying by either a thousand knife cuts or a quick bullet. In the end you are just as screwed.

All of this gloom and doom sure sets the stage for a happy Friday, eh?

I am off next week to Sodom-on-the-Hudson for the semi-annual sales beat-down. I would rather have chop-sticks thrust in my ears than go this time. The prognosis for business in 2009 is poor at best and the message will be a resounding "do something about it". Does anyone really believe I sat around until my sales were cut by half, heard the bossman say "Hey, go get more business" before I gave any effort at all? WTF have I been doing for the last year as my quarterly bonus/commission disappeared like Obama's promises of Hope and Change and tax cuts?

So here I sit, nothing to say, yet filling a whole post with negativity. Life is like a bag of barbies, man: a real downer. Finance, politics, business, work, lack o' nooky, the gray cold weather, the Cubs, all have me low. I feel the onset of the mean reds, Holly Golightly's description of life beyond even feeling blue. The past year has been a struggle on multiple fronts. I know I am not alone. As the Holidays approach I hope to find my equilibrium, set my controls for the heart of the sun and look at a bright future.

Maybe I just need some bacon and a kick in the ass.

November 13, 2008

November 12, 2008

Wednesday Wanderings

I've nothing today, and very little time to tell you that information.

I'm off to drum up some new business this afternoon. You all know me as a positive, the-glass-is-half-full kind of guy, but this one is an uphill battle.

I made out my task list yesterday. Wow, I have a lot of work to do.

No matter what the Otter says, smart people know bacon rules. In fact, I am working on a recipe that involves either bacon wrapped pork chops or bacon wrapped sausage...I think I need to work a little ham in there and some gravy....How about a bacon wrapped sausage link deep fried on a stick like a corndog...mmmm corndog...

I made some blueberry muffins for the boy last night.

For those of you in the Muncie area the oldest boy and his band will be on the Ball State public access channel Thursday night as the musical guest on the evening talk show. I am not sure the name of the program -- Muncie Live or Ball State live?

I cannot think of even one song by the Steve Miller Band I can stand to listen to for more than five seconds.

Have you ever reached for your toothbrush in the morning and suddenly you are not sure if yours is the blue one or the yellow one? After you decide to use the blue one, you think maybe you used the yellow one yesterday? After nearly 25 years of marriage I still do not want to share my wife's toothbrush. Maybe I need to put a sticky note on the mirror that just simply states "Blue".

November 11, 2008

Veteran's Day

Eleven minutes after the eleventh hour on the eleventh day of the eleventh month...

I would like to offer a sincere and heartfelt Thank You to each and every one of my readers, your family or friends who donned the uniform of our country to defend our freedoms. I do not possess the vocabulary to express my gratitude.

November 10, 2008

On Being and Nothingness

Gas is $1.82/gallon in my little town. I can live with that.

Representatives from the Obama administration say one of the first acts when The Obama takes over is they will overturn the Presidential Directive that allows drilling for oil in Utah.

Get ready for $4.00/gallon or more gas again next summer, people. I guess somehow by magic, alternative fuels will be available to put in my car by then, or is the government going to just buy me a new "runs on magical fuel" car? That should not be too hard since the Obamaites are set on buying up the Big Three (or should we call them the Big 2,4,5?) We have to continue to support the UAW.

Along with higher prices on everything you want to buy (since businesses will pass the higher taxes to the end user), refusal to drill for our own domestic oil will push inflation to levels not seen in recent times.

Let us see, gas lines, runaway inflation and high unemployment. Welcome back in charge Jimmah Carter to the Presidency B. Obama. The only bright side is I can gloat and say "I told you so" to all of you economically ignorant mofos voting for hope and change.

Put that in your gas tank and see how far you get.

Sartre was an ass

Peter Sellers was one funny guy.

Two truths for a Monday

November 9, 2008

La Jeux Sont Fait

The boy went to his first real "dance" last night. He had to wear a tie and shoes that weren't made for a tennis court or basketball floor -- real dress up black oxfords. He was not thrilled when I told him he had to button the top button on his dress shirt. I think he had a good time. His date straightened his thick wavy hair. He was not thrilled by that, but told his Mom "it was her dance". I told him to get used to it, that is a woman's goal in life -- to change her man. The wife told me to shut up and go change my shirt.

The wife and I went to Indy to see a movie last night. On the way home I saw a house with a Christmas tree in the window. Too early I think, and I love Christmas.

I had some strange ass dreams last night. In one portion, I was driving a long trip and pulled into the parking lot of a gas station/convenience store to get a little rest, refreshment, and gas. I was dozing in the passenger seat when an old lady emplyee asked me to move the car to another parking space so she could clean up some trash that was under my car. This angered me to no end and I drove off screaming that she just cost her store fifty dollars in sales. I guess the part of my brain that controls dreams has some anger issues.

When the boy wakes up I am going to make some biscuit donuts.

November 8, 2008

Saturday nights' for fightin'

Usually I lighten things up on a Saturday, but what the heck. Here is a quick poll for you. In the election did you vote for your candidate or against the other guy? I will fess up, I was no fan of McCain (you can read it many times in the archives). I voted for what I thought was the lesser of two evils. Until McCain chose a VP running mate with conservative credentials I might mot have voted at all.

I heard a great quip by a comedian on the radio the other day. I wish I could give proper attribution, but I do not remember. Anyway consider this, Obama just spent $650,000,000 to get a job that pays $400,000. And this is the guy who is going to fix our economy?

Finally for my lefty-leaning friends please keep in mind a few percentage points is not a mandate. Close to 50% of the country is against your platform.

To the Republicans, the great experiment of sliding to the left is destroying your party. Come back to the small government, low taxes, leave us all alone vision of Ronald Reagan and you will be surprised at the success you have.

November 7, 2008

Friday Five

The feature that just will not die. This week it requires nothing from you, Dear Reader. Add to the list as you wish. Five Hippy Songs:

1. I'd Love to Change the World by Ten Years After

2. San Fransico (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair)by Scott McKenzie (written by John Phillips)

3. Chicago by CSNY or Woodstock by CSNY (weitten by Joni Mitchell)

4. Share the Land by the Guess Who
Maybe I'll be there to shake your hand
Maybe I'll be there to share the land
That they'll be giving away
When we all live together.

5. Vietnam Song by Country Joe and the Fish

Just a thought

So Sammy, given the stock market has plummeted in the two days since the election, and that was a key reason to vote against McCain and every Republican, are you blaming Obama for the declining value of your 401K? Or is the BushCheneyHaliburtonevilcapitalistJewishMilitaryindistrialcomplexoldwhiteguys cabal still responsible?Rise, Stock Market, Rise

Oh, and sorry I did not jump to the library to research your query about the origins of name of the band Ten Years After. Some of us have to work so we can be in position to pay the higher taxes coming down the pike.

November 6, 2008

After listening to President-elect Obama, I keep having this gnawing sense I have heard his words before. Today, listening to 1970's hippy music, It came to me in a flash of inspiration.

Behold Alvin Lee and Ten Years After:

Everywhere is freaks and hairies
Dykes and fairies, tell me where is sanity
Tax the rich, feed the poor
Till there are no rich no more

I'd love to change the world
But I don't know what to do
So I'll leave it up to you

Population keeps on breeding
Nation bleeding, still more feeding economy
Life is funny, skies are sunny
Bees make honey, who needs money, No more for me

I'd love to change the world
But I don't know what to do
So I'll leave it up to you

o yah

World pollution, there's no solution
Institution, electrocution
Just black and white, rich or poor
Senators stop the war

I'd love to change the world
But I don't know what to do
So I'll leave it up to you

Chilling isn't it?

November 5, 2008

Parting thoughts on the election

Here are a few final thoughts on the election.

The way to win an election has been defined for years to come. Obama outspent McCain by an estimated margin of anywhere from 5-1 to 7-1. As soon as that kind of spending causes the Democrats to lose, more reform will be on the way.

The media has done itself a huge disservice. Their clear bias got them the President they wanted, but at what cost? I predict declining circulation and ratings will continue as people lose what little trust they have in the media. Now, after the election, I predict stories about Obama will begin to surface, in a too-little-too-late effort to salvage reputations. Even my wife, who is completely non-political, has commented on the bias in reporting. Studies even show that Leno and Letterman did 4 times more critical jokes of McCain/Palin.

It is my belief this election was more a repudiation of Bush than a philosophical move leftwards by the country. The truth will show in two or four years. I believe that should the extreme liberal members of Congress try to push a socialist agenda they will usher another conservative revolution. There is a general sense that the country is splashing around in the deep end of the pool with no clear direction. President-elect Obama offered change, and that resonated with people. Too many of the electorate voted through white guilt or just because he was black. They voted for anyone who was not Bush. They blamed the current economic situation on the Republicans. A significant number voted for a tax cut.

Time will tell. Maybe what we need is a President that is not steeped in politics. Maybe inexperience is the medicine for what ails us. Maybe we just elected the next Teddy Roosevelt. Maybe we just elected another Jimmy Carter. One thing is for sure, we just voted for more government in our lives. We voted for 55 mph speed limits and mandated smaller cars. We decided we want the same people who provide such a positive experience at the DMV to provide your health care. We voted to weaken our military. We voted for more taxes on businesses. That means you will pay higher prices. More unemployment and jobs moving offshore is the result of higher business costs.

America spoke and we all have to live with it. Eight or ten years ago pundits proclaimed the liberal wing of the Democratic Party was dead. Now they are in control. Such things go in cycles. A lurch to the left aways brings a lurch to the right.

On an interesting note, I do not think the difference in urban and rural voters has ever been greater. A county map of the election shows a clear delineation. The trend over the past several years shows those who live in the larger cities tend to vote overwhelmingly Democrat, while the rest of us vote Republican. Political Scientists can analyze this and tell us why, but I am confident such polarization is not a good thing.

November 4, 2008

I am sitting here munching on some cold mini-meatloaf. The daughter came home last night so she could vote this morning and she requested said meatloaves[?] for dinner. You make a meatloaf mixture and line the bottom of a muffin tin. Put in some diced onion, diced green pepper and some shredded cheddar. Cover with more meat mixture and bake as directed in your favorite recipe. I hate meatloaf, but these are a nice change. You can cover with ketchup if you like. I hate ketchup, so I don't. It is just one more indication of my superior taste and breeding.

I just got back from voting. In a shocking twist I voted for Obama.

Big Dick says he will start blogging again if Obama wins, so I did my part for entertainment.

OK, I was just fucking with you. I voted for the lesser of the Evils, and Palin. I did wear my Cubs hat. I am hoping some of that negative Chicago Cubs Karma will affect The Obama.

Just a few more hours and the commercials will be over. I am glad I live in a small town. I have little fear the riots and looting and car burnings will impact my community. There is a positive side to this election. If by some crazy miracle McCain pulls this one off, the irate Dims will go wild. Maybe they can burn Detroit to the ground, speed up the process, if you will. It will be like euthanasia for a dying city, a prime example of the positive influence of generations of Democratic Rule. Maybe they will get Gary, IN as well; a cosmic two for Tuesday. That, my friends, would be sweet.

Oh yeah, Baby, I like that...

Supergurl gave me a massive dose of Internet VD yesterday. A most virulent strain of virus mutated through my system. This was no ordinary disease. After more than 13 hours of scanners and other virtual forms of penicillin I walked away a cured patient. For a while I thought my trusty HP was going to end its days lounging by the pool, drooling, like Capone. I love you, Supergurl, but next time at least let me get my happy ending and post-coital smoke.

In other news, there is an election today. Go vote.

Massive layoffs and workforce reductions at work last week. I survived. There is a little more travel in the works, but that is OK, I like the Southeast. I feel badly for those who lost their jobs, it really sucks. I know, as I have been there myself. But in the cold-hearted light of day -- better them than me. Yes, I am selfish when it comes to my money and getting as much of it as possible.

November 3, 2008

Things that make you go WTF?

Well Sammy, here is a piece of news that should get you a little relief from your severe case of BDS: read this. I guess Bush (and Albright, and Clinton, and Kerry, and hundreds of others)did not lie to you about Hussein trying to build WMDs after all.

Did you see this?

I have been over the top on occasion when it comes to politics. But this idea should frighten even the most partisan Obamaites. If GW Bush had made this statement it would terrify the millions, and it should. I see visions of brown shirts, of neighbors informing on neighbors, kids reporting parents to the government. Who does Obama fear? What could happen that the military could not handle, or does he expect to order the military to actions it will not obey?

Please someone who understands the nuances of the Obama's campaign better than I explain this idea of a private army in more detail. What will be the command structure of this modern Praetorian Guard and what will be its mission? Why is it needed?

November 2, 2008

More answers

Guy, I have never been able to get completely through Atlas Shrugged. I can already hear the universal cries of "heretic". Perhaps I should try again.

Cappy, my first car was a 1966 Chevy truck, with a three-speed transmission on the column. I think I paid $400 for it. There is a post about that truck somewhere in the archives. It was black, with significant highlights of rust.

James, I stay in Indiana primarily because that is where my job is. That is not completely true, I have had opportunities to move before -- Kansas, Georgia, Pennsylvania, New York. I like the change of seasons. I like the endless look of the flat prairies in the early morning light. The never changing but always different vistas of corn, bean, corn, bean, creek, woods, corn, bean. I like how the rows of corn come right to the edge of a country road like a green wall. I love travelling through the small farm towns, imagining the vibrant life that once supported the 100 year old buildings. I have travelled the country and I love the mountains, the beaches, and even a little the cities. Mostly I live here because it is home.

Now I have a question for you, readers and knowers of all knowledge. Why is it that early morning joggers feel the need to run in the street when there is a perfectly good sidewalk mere feet away? I would rather twist my ankle on a piece of uneven sidewalk than twist my body on the fender of a 3 ton vehicle.

November 1, 2008

Answers to Ask Hoosierboy Questions

Otter asks about my most embarrassing moment. Sadly, like Otter, I think I am missing the "embarrasses easily gene". I have done some things I regret, but nothing embarrassing comes to mind, like calling my date the wrong name in the throes of passion. I am sure those incidents are there, but none come to mind. I regret puking in my wife's lap after a night of tequila (that story is somewhere in the archives) or letting the air out of the tires on a buddy's car while he was on a date. I probably shouldn't have run around the block naked back during the streaking craze (I was like 10).

I once was late to a job interview back in college because I had to stop and vomit on the way. Some people might have blamed it on the copious amounts of Gin I drank the night before. I think it was just nerves. I did not get the job, the interviewer seemed a little concerned about my DTs. He asked me several times if I felt all right. The chunks of vomit on my tie were likely an issue as well. I never wanted to be a banker anyway.

Jean asks about reading recommendations. Currently I am reading In Harm's Way by James Bassett. This is probably my fifteenth or twentieth time to read this book.

For some fun and general reading I recommend anything by Tim Dorsey. The books can be read in any order, but it is better to read them in chronological order (see here). The books are set in Florida, so you probably know the kind of characters he portrays.

It is not to late, go ahead and ask your question of the old Hoosierboy.
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